Summer of Love
August 8, 2005

It is the season of love for the extended Joliat family. This summer witnesses the nuptials of my sister, Jennifer, my brother, Mike, and my niece, Megan. All these celebrations take me to my roots in the Detroit area. I am an emotional yo-yo. My siblings have taken the leap, and my niece will do so on August 27. The concept of marriage is not as simple as it was when I was young and linear, and the words “till death us do part” seemed a simple road map. Life has intruded, and the complications it brings adds to the roller coaster of emotions that I navigate as each couple walks down the aisle.

In most ways, it is harder to take the second walk. Most people who divorce have seen dreams turn sour, and are totally aware that they will be conceding part of their autonomy and independence. They know that sometimes, love is not enough. Committing to a shared life means subverting the “me” for the “we.” That is easier said than done, especially if you have grown accustomed to fending for yourself. It involves a dozen silenced criticisms each day, and an openness to family that is not your own. Whoever said “love’s more comfortable, the second time you fall” was an optimist. Maybe, perhaps, love is wasted on the young.

I wish my sister and brother the joy that they deserve and desire. I know they will have dog issues, kid issues, religious issues, and health issues. The good thing here is that they know it, too.

It is inspiring to see Jenny and Mike make the leap of faith that marriage requires. They know more about sickness and health. Their new partners know too well how readily death can graze them- Jenny’s new husband has a new liver courtesy of Vietnam contamination, and Mike’s new wife was almost fatally injured in a horrific accident. They are totally aware that life is a short dance, made richer with a smiling partner.

It is a tribute to the mettle and generosity of spirit that Mike and Colleen, Jennifer and Steve are willing to fold themselves into a re-configured life. It is a cause for celebration- of love, of the resilience of the human spirit, and of dreams. They will take their joy into the world, and those who touch them will get the spillover.