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| 2:19
| Song: Merry Christmas
To You, Henry Kapono |
| 2:23
| Buzz didn't know they acknowledged Christmas in
Hawaii. Mele kalikimaka! |
| 2:24
| Buzz isn't familiar with any versions of the song
Mele Kalikimaka even though some famous names have sung it. It probably
fell through the cracks and Buzz has a lot of cracks in his past. |
| 2:25
| The only version of the song Pete has is by Jimmy
Buffett. Doesn't he have anything more Hawaiian? |
| 2:26
| The Buffett version is pretty Hawaiian, but Buzz
still isn't familiar with the song. It's been around for a long time,
it's like their Christmas Song. |
| 2:27
| Pete intensified his search for a more Hawaiian
version of the song, even though Steve is done with it. |
| 2:28
| We'll be hearing from Kyle Orton shortly. Steve
was taken aback by reports from Maura that he was spotted drinking
a White Russian at dinner. Then he checked out Kyle's bio on Bears.com
and it says his favorite movie is The
Big Lebowski. |
| 2:29
| Kyle is on the phone and he was indeed drinking
a White Russian last night. When he's only having one drink, he drinks
a White Russian. His nickname is also The Dude, but it's self-applied.
Those are the best nicknames though. Where does he think Stever came
from? Or Buzz? |
| 2:30
| Kyle usually watches The Big Lebowski on Friday
nights to relax. He might have a White Russian while watching it.
With the beard he really is The Dude. |
| 2:31
| Buzz is changing his whole view of Kyle's beard
now that he has all this information. It's a very Dude-like beard.
Is there anyway Kyle can get the NFL to put "T. Dude" on the back
of his jersey. |
| 2:32
| Steve didn't see anything on the news last week
about the QB controversy and he watched a few different channels.
He had to check in with Brant Miller so he could make sense of the
plane crash. |
| 2:33
| Brant was also sporting a fedora when reporting
from Jack Brickhouse Plaza. He was trying to look jaunty but it was
completely inappropriate since there was an airplane on Central ave. |
| 2:34
| Steve didn't leave until after 8 last night and
it still took him an hour to get home. It shouldn't have but he was
driving behind the biggest morons ever. Once he got past them it
was open road. |
| 2:35
| Buzz actually thought he could get a cab last night.
He went to the gym for an hour after the show then walked down to
a hotel to find a cab. The guy wouldn't drive to Broadway and Lawrence
until Buzz offered him $40. |
| 2:36
| It took Buzz 45 minutes to get up Lake Shore Drive
and all the while up they were next to a bus, which would have only
cost him $1.50 or so. |
| 2:37
| After dropping Buzz off, the cabbie got stuck in
the snow and couldn't move anywhere. He felt so bad that he actually
pushed the guy out and sent him on his way. Steve would have thought
Buzz would have just gone inside and left the guy there. |
| 2:47
| Lobstergram can go back on the Prize Wheel, Steve
talked to Dan the Lobsterman. He's been doing a lot of national spots,
but you have to go home with the girl you brought to the dance. |
| 2:48
| Steve was in Terry Hardin's office for a different
matter when he talked to Dan. A lot of times, the people who buy
live read ads want to talk to the talent. |
| 2:49
| Talking to the advertisers can be somewhat frustrating
though because they tell Steve what they want out of the ads but
then the account executive doesn't actually make that happen. |
| 2:50
| Steve is demanding sales commission on the 9 Lobstergram
reads he sold as well as the other stuff he was meeting about today.
Why should Mitch Pink get commission for something Steve did? |
| 2:52
| Steve didn't have to put a coaster down for his
Diet Coke even though Terry has a really nice desk. |
| 2:54
| Mike North is coming in today, but Steve can't remember
why. He's promoting something but Steve doesn't know what it is.
It could be a CD of his best interviews. Is Steve on there? |
| 2:55
| Steve likes Mike and the CD is for charity. Plus
he is actually on the CD. |
| 2:56
| Steve has an idea for a charity but he can't get
a hold of his archivist, Joe Kraslen. Joe just moved in with his
girlfriend Ali, who used to work for Steve and neither of them had
the foresight to make sure their phone service was hooked up. |
| 2:57
| The light is pouring through the window and onto
Buzz, he looks like an ant under a magnifying glass. If Brendan doesn't
put those blinds down on Monday he shouldn't bother coming in on
Tuesday. |
| 2:58
| Brendan is one of those people who is very motivated
by fear. The only way you can really get him to do something is if
you threaten to fire him. |
| 2:59
| Brendan also needs to get that AV cart back in here
and put all of Steve's pills in it. When you walk into the studio
and see that cart with all that junk on it, it doesn't look that
cool. |
| 3:00
| The AV cart is broken but Brendan had a meeting
with Mike the engineer about getting it fixed. They talked about
washers and nuts and bolts. |
| 3:01
| If someone forgets to put the blinds down Buzz can
do it himself and then look out into the hallway at Brendan's empty
chair. |
| 3:02
| The funny thing about Brendan is that once he starts
doing something he won't stop. In the Spring when the sun is in the
other part of the sky, he'll still be putting the blinds down even
though it won't matter. |
| 3:08
| Steve was just yelling at Drew and then Mike North
walked in. Steve doesn't want Mike to see this though. All the commercials
just stopped because they upgraded the Audio Vault computers, except
Pete's where most of the show's work is done. |
| 3:09
| If someone would have told Steve there was going
to be an upgrade he would have reminded them to upgrade Pete's computer
too. |
| 3:14
| Mike North is here. He's never met Buzz but he's
had a buzz. Steve made it on Mike's CD over Coach K. Mark Grace is
on there too. |
| 3:15
| Dan Falato walked into the Green Room during the
break and said "he's getting a divorce". Mike thought he was talking
about Steve but he was actually talking about Mark Grace. |
| 3:16
| Steve has Mike's microphone at half-volume. He's
broken many a soundboard, at least Steve knows how to run one. |
| 3:21
| It's good for Mike to be in what used to be one
of the world's tallest buildings. That was actually the other Prudential
Building. |
| 3:23
| Steve still doesn't trust Mike. Back in the day
he trusted him a little bit more. Steve doesn't even trust Mike at
The Score let alone here. |
| 3:25
| Steve wouldn't mind doing a Score/WCKG Vegas trip.
It'd be fun to go to Vegas with Mike. |
| 3:26
| Mike wants to know if Steve did anything for Buzz's
25th anniversary in Chicago. There might have been a chocolate cake
or something. |
| 3:27
| Buzz has been in Chicago radio for 26 years, which
is the number of jobs Jeff Schwartz has had in Chicago radio. Did
Jeff give Steve the same line he gave Mike when he left The Score? |
| 3:29
| Mike has never seen the prize wheel before. Steve
is turning into Uncle Bobby more and more. |
| 3:40
| Steve's not sure what's wrong with the computer
but it's not working. Good thing they upgraded it. |
| 3:41
| When Steve first got into radio the engineers did
all their work between midnight Sunday and Monday before 6 AM. |
| 3:43
| Song: Caucasian
Man, Mike North |
| 3:46
| Mike smells a Grammy with that one. Whenever you
can work Will Perdue into a song you've really got something. |
| 3:47
| Steve saw Dennis Rodman yesterday and was reminded
of a pretty funny story. He was at WMVP trying to renegotiate his
contract and he wasn't doing what he wanted to be doing. |
| 3:48
| Steve was at a Bulls game with Mike Dahl and he
was going to get him an autograph. Steve was only in the locker room
to get Rodman's autograph and to meet BJ Armstrong of course. |
| 3:49
| While in the locker room, Mike pulled him aside
and told him that MVP was talking to him about coming to the station.
That predicated Steve quitting, taking some time off in Florida and
then coming to WCKG where he's been for 10 years. |
| 3:50
| It was the most solid thing anyone has ever done
for Steve in all his time in radio. It changed his life. |
| 3:53
| Steve needs to take a break but the computer might
still be broken. Mike thinks Steve should play the song and then
say goodbye and then take a break. Has anyone ever told Steve how
to run his show? |
| 3:54
| Song: Secret Asian
Man, Mike North |
| 3:57
| Mike sent a copy of his CD over but Steve couldn't
find it so he couldn't listen to it. What he doesn't really like
these days is surprises but had he listened to it in advance of Mike
coming here, he would have lauded him as a genius. |
| 4:06
| Steve loves Mike North but if you look up loose
cannon in the dictionary you'll find a picture of him. |
| 4:08
| Live read: Walter E. Smithe |
| 4:10
| Live read: Circuit City |
| 4:18
| Steve has no idea what's happening with the commercials
but at least he's not alone. He doesn't know what is on the air and
what is not on the air but he's going to keep broadcasting to himself
and Buzz and Wendy. |
| 4:19
| There was some sort of computer upgrade made last
night and it doesn't seem to be going well. The good news is that
Drew Hayes is as mad as you can get but not at Steve. He's actually
hopping he's so mad. |
| 4:20
| Shouldn't they do this stuff on the weekends? |
| 4:21
| This is one of those situations where having an
air monitor would be really helpful but apparently they're hard to
find. |
| 4:22
| Steve has spent the last two weeks trying to tell
someone about the static electricity problem and no one listens to
that either. Somehow, this will all be Steve's fault. |
| 4:23
| Live read: Allen Bros. |
| 4:24
| There's a computer that runs all the commercials
as well as the rejoins and bumpers and all the funny tapes but Steve
doesn't have any control over it other than turning it on. |
| 4:25
| The people listening must think Steve's an idiot,
but it's totally out of his hands. It's sort of fun to play the commercials
and see what bad thing is going to happen next. |
| 4:26
| The only way someone is really going to get into
trouble for this is to let it play out naturally and let the chips
fall where they may. |
| 4:33
| A couple of nice spots of dead air in that last
break. |
| 4:34
| Another cool thing happened during that break while
Steve was yelling at Drew and threatening to walk out. He was walking
back and forth behind the console and then he went to turn the volume
down and the lights started doing that Vegasy thing. |
| 4:35
| The only way Steve can really make a statement is
to do something so bad that someone all the way at the top does it. |
| 4:36
| Drew said Steve couldn't leave because Joniak is
coming in at 5. It was kind of cute actually. |
| 4:37
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 4:38
| If there's a God the phones won't work and there's
nothing keeping Steve here. He'll just head over to Trader Vic's,
get an egg roll and a virgin Mai-Tai and be on his way. |
| 4:39
| Caller Mark is on 290 and it's like running through
a gauntlet. There are 30 cars with flat tires along the side of the
road. |
| 4:40
| Caller Pete thinks Steve is pure genius because
he has him listening to the commercials totally riveted, wondering
what will happen next. |
| 4:41
| Time for another exciting commercial break, let's
see what happens. |
| 4:46
| And we're back with some more exciting broadcasting
from the third largest market in the country. That last caller was
right because Buzz is listening to the commercials like he never
has before. |
| 4:47
| There was a nice 60-second ad that didn't play
in that last break and at the beginning the commercials didn't start
for a good 10 seconds. In the future Steve's going to stop talking
just to heighten the silence. |
| 4:48
| Sadly because of the computer problems there will
be no Friday Song. Steve could play it off the CD but right now he
doesn't want to do anything to help the situation. Instead of playing
the song, Steve's just gonna sing it for Buzz. |
| 4:50
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:51
| Buzz had some audio of Warner Saunders he wanted
for the headlines but then that would help the situation and Steve
doesn't want to do that. Buzz has been thinking about this audio
for 24 hours but he understands where Steve is coming from. |
| 4:52
| Pete didn't want to let Buzz down so he was going
to play the sound from his studio. What kind of upside-down world
are we leaving in where Pete is more worried about making Buzz mad
than Steve!? |
| 4:53
| Steve would rather have Pete try to play it off
the computer in the studio than from his studio. |
| 4:54
| The audio isn't working which actually helps Steve's
cause. |
| 4:55
| You can't really call the thing at Midway a plane
crash. Sure it crashed through the fence but it's more like a traffic
accident. How about those people who said they drive by that intersection
everyday and it could have been them? Steve drives by that intersection
all the time but that doesn't necessarily warrant a TV interview. |
| 4:56
| Buzz's audio isn't working. It must make him see
the genius of Steve to just ride this thing out. Steve sort of feels
like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic riding
the head board after the boat sinks. Except this will end with him
pushing the girl into the water. |
| 4:58
| Why did Olin Kreutz and Fred Miller get fined for
conduct unbecoming of players? Everything football players do is
unbecoming. |
| 5:08
| Song: Light Shines
Bright, S.R. Dahl |
| 5:13
| Steve wrote that song and the boys sang on it. It
tugs on Wendy's heartstrings every time she hears it. Janet is in
there too, but she was mixed down. It wasn't Steve's fault but she's
still mad about it. |
| 5:14
| Steve's been very accommodating with all the problems
he's had in the studio lately but he's done with that. If you're
accommodating nothing ever gets done. The only way something is going
to get done is if Terry Hardin sees how much money was lost not with
all the commercials that didn't get played. |
| 5:15
| Steve had to handcuff Pete to his chair because
he can't stop trying to help. 99 times out of 100 Steve would be
doing the same thing but this is the one time where he shouldn't
try to help. |
| 5:22
| Wendy and Buzz should probably stick around during
the breaks because Steve has no idea when the commercials will end.
Although it has to be fun listening for the dead-air in the hallway.
Steve has gone into survival mode but luckily he has enough beef
jerky for him and Buzz. |
| 5:23
| Steve can't play the intro for the Jeff Joniak segment
with the sponsor mention so there's more money lost. Jeff feels like
he's dropping in on something. |
| 5:24
| It seems like the engineers are on the verge of
solving the problem which is sort of disappointing. Steve was hoping
to ride this all the way to 7 and let Disco Terry Hardin deal with
it on Monday. |
| 5:25
| Steve talked to Kyle earlier today which is somewhat
unusual since it's Friday. He and Buzz were concerned with reports
that Kyle was spotted drinking White Russians which is not a manly,
quarterback drink. |
| 5:26
| All was cleared up when it was revealed that Kyle's
favorite movie is The Big Lebowski and in that movie the main character
drinks White Russians. |
| 5:27
| Jeff has never seen the movie but he really should
because he's really gonna get some deep character background about
Kyle from it. |
| 5:31
| Does Steve have to remind everyone that Rex Grossman
has played in 6 games in the last 3 years? It's not like Brett Favre
is coming back. |
| 5:34
| Steve wants to know why Ron Turner isn't taking
any heat for the offense? |
| 5:35
| Steve's down on Ron Turner for the years he spent
coaching U of I while Mike was there but he's also down on him for
not stepping up and taking some heat off of Kyle. |
| 5:37
| As the alcoholic in the room, Steve just wants to
take this QB thing one day at a time. He's just excited because on
December 11th there's a Bears game that actually means something
to him and not because he took the Steelers in the points. |
| 5:39
| Mike Brown could potentially miss Sunday's game
because he hurt his calf in practice today. He really shouldn't be
keeping farm animals though. |
| 5:40
| It took Jeff a little while to process Steve's calf
joke. He has to sit there and process everything before he makes
a comment. It sounds like Jeff's in a closet today. Last week it
sounded like he was sitting in the basement in his underpants. |
| 5:42
| It sounds like Jeff broke into the cooking Sherry
a little bit. |
| 5:48
| A drop played on it's own which is a good sign.
Sure there was 60 seconds of dead-air in that break but Steve's going
with the tough love on everyone including Jeff Joniak who's sitting
in his basement with a leather hood on drinking cooking Sherry. |
| 5:49
| Jeff felt very uncomfortable during that dead-air
in the commercial break. Steve's at the point where he's getting
off on it. |
| 5:50
| Just to heighten it, Steve's going to take some
calls for Jeff even though no one can hear him talk. He's a great
translator though. |
| 5:51
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 5:52
| Caller Tom can't hear Jeff. That's what Steve's
talkin' about! Not only can Tom not hear Jeff but they're getting
that weird Star Wars effect. It's all coming together. This is why
Steve doesn't carry a gun. |
| 5:55
| Caller Mark can't hear Jeff either. They're just
talking over each other. |
| 6:05
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:06
| Townstone helped Wendy and Jimmy Mac with their
new mortgage this week. |
| 6:07
| Wendy and Mac are debt free, sort of. They put all
their debt in their mortgage because that interest is tax-deductible. |
| 6:15
| Live read: OnStar |
| 6:16
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:22
| Buzz has scratched all audio from the news but Steve
could recreate stuff if he wants. |
| 6:23
| Steve's favorite thing from last night's news was
Brant Miller as the aviation expert on NBC. It's a big story but
it doesn't seem big enough to be on CNN nonstop for the whole day. |
| 6:24
| Sure a kid died but a lot of kids probably died
yesterday and they weren't on CNN. |
| 6:25
| Steve thought it would have been really interesting
if Cowboy Ray had been hit by the plane instead of a car. That way
we'd know who did it. Airplanes are not one of Cowboy Ray's favorite
things though. |
| 6:26
| One thing that's really troubled Steve during this
afternoon fraught with technical difficulties is that he hasn't blamed
Dan Falato. What's wrong with him!? |
| 6:27
| During all of this Dan didn't show his face which
is probably why Steve didn't blame him. He's learning. |
| 6:28
| Steve can't wait until this happens to Stan and
Terry. Stan's gonna pull a piece and unload a clip in someone's head. |
| 6:29
| Warner's sign-off last night before retuning to
The Apprentice was "we'll get back to you.". Can't he be more specific? |
| 6:30
| Joe Kraslen was also here during the crisis and
he's another guy you don't want around when something goes bad. Steve
had to tell him to take a seat. |
| 6:31
| Joe being here reminded Steve that he could put
out a CD of him making fun of and talking to Eddie Schwartz. Then
he could sell the CDs and give the money to Eddie. |
| 6:32
| News with Buzz |
| 6:33
| Rigoberto althazar is delicious. Steve can recreate
any news audio Buzz might have used for the news. |
| 6:36
| If Steve were Olin Kreutz or Fred Miller he wouldn't
pay that fine. The NFL has no jurisdiction over what you do off the
field. Steve would take this all the way to the Supreme Court if
it were him. |
| 6:48
| ...and we're back! That Eddie Schwartz CD seems
like a good idea. If Mike North can get his CD into Best Buy so can
Steve. |
| 6:49
| Steve does two Eddie Schwartz impersonations. Kevin
Matthews ripped off Steve's impersonation original Eddie impersonation
but ended up sounding more like him. Steve's intent with the original
impersonation was to sound like Rocket J. Squirrel. |
| 6:50
| Caller Steve has a suggestion for the name of the
Eddie Schwartz CD. Since a lot of the early jokes about Eddie pertained
to egg rolls, how about Egg Rolls for Eddie. |
| 6:59
| If you're just tuning in Steve has been having a
problem with the computer that plays all the commercials. He refuses
to be helpful in any way though. |
| 7:00
| Stan and Terry have informed Steve that the computer
in their studio isn't even working. They thought they could do the
show in Steve's studio but he had to dust off the "Whites Only" sign. |
| 7:01
| Stan and Terry can't load their configuration into
the computer. What is there computer, laidback? |
| 7:02
| We should probably just turn off the station and
let it cool down for the weekend. |
| 7:03
| Steve's so mad about this that he's not even blaming
Dan as a joke. He doesn't want to diffuse the situation at all. Come
Monday morning he'll be barreling in like a 737 through an airport
fence. |
| 7:04
| Caller John remembers that Eddie was having gland
issues recently so instead of Band-Aid it could be Steve Dahl's Gland-Aid. |
| 7:05
| Steve can't wait until Monday morning when Disco
Terry Hardin comes rolling in and finds out how much money the station
lost today. |
| 7:06
| Caller Jeff's suggestion for the Eddie Schwartz
CD is Eat My Schwartz. |
| 7:07
| Top ten best band names playing the Chicagoland
area |
