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|
| 2:02
| Song: We
Are One Tonight, Switchfoot |
| 2:07
| Was today Steve's day to pay attention to the tapes?
Wendy has Mondays, Buzz has Fridays so today must be Steve's day.
Luckily he paid attention. |
| 2:08
| Today must be the anniversary of the Bears winning
the Super Bowl. Of course it wasn't on a Thursday because they don't
have Super Bowl Thursday although Steve wouldn't mind that since
it would take the pressure off Super Bowl Sunday. |
| 2:09
| A lot goes on Super Bowl Sunday with the food and
all. It's a letdown similar to what happens after Christmas. Then
Steve ends up watching whatever new show debuts after the game even
though he doesn't care about the show. |
| 2:10
| Buzz finds himself watching a lot of NBC even though
it's in third place in the ratings. Maybe that's why it's in third.
Buzz isn't the target audience for anything. He even watches the
NBC news even though he knows Ron Magers is the best in town. |
| 2:11
| Buzz has a slight loyalty to Warner Saunders since
he occasionally sees him at his tailor, The Golden Needle. It sounds
like a heroin place but it's not. He's pretty cordial so that's enough
to earn Buzz's loyalty. |
| 2:12
| Steve doesn't really watch any shows on ABC or at
least he doesn't like any of the show but he's forced to watch them
as punishment. For instance, Desperate
Housewives which he can't
stand. It doesn't matter how hot they are Steve hates it. |
| 2:13
| He's also forced to watch Grays
Anatomy which is
a woman's doctor show. At some point in the episode it gets really
gory and Janet shrieks and questions why they're watching it. That's
what Steve has been trying to say! |
| 2:14
| Caller John wanted to let Steve know that Grays
Anatomy will be on after the Super Bowl. He doesn't watch it but
his wife and daughters do. It's a chick show. |
| 2:15
| Steve doesn't mind chick shows, just Grays
Anatomy.
He watches Everwood though and the Gilmore
Girls. |
| 2:16
| It's not that Steve doesn't like prime time soaps
either because he watched Dallas and Knots
Landing when they were on. Of
course back then there wasn't as much to watch. |
| 2:17
| Caller Gina is a longtime listener. It just feels
like a longtime but it's actually only been 17 minutes. Gina wanted
to recommend Boston Legal. |
| 2:18
| Steve used to watch that one but they kept switching
the days and times on him. |
| 2:19
| Boston Legal is on against The
Shield so that's
why Steve isn't watching it. In fact the other night someone programmed
Boston Legal in and the TiVo didn't record The
Shield. Steve was
not happy. |
| 2:20
| Buzz doesn't watch Boston
Legal but he always sees
promos for it after Commander-in-Chief. How can he watch that show?
Steve's gonna puke! |
| 2:21
| Luckily Steve has the first 4 episodes of The
Shield on DVD so he was able to watch the one
he missed. He also had to fight the urge to watch episodes 3 and
4. |
| 2:22
| Something is wrong with Steve's TiVo. He has all
his shows prioritized above Janet's and she couldn't have changed
it since she doesn't know how. |
| 2:23
| Caller Andy likes the Mark Paul Gosslear character
on Commander-in-Chief because he stayed behind on Air Force One to
nail some hot reporter. |
| 2:24
| Steve still can't watch Commander-in-Chief. Geena
Davis' lips in HD are too much for him to handle. They actually come
out of the screen and touch him. He rested his beverage on them the
other day. |
| 2:25
| Andy got disconnected or something. Probably because
he has a bad cellphone. Too many people who shouldn't have cell phones
have them. They should cost more money. Driver's licenses should
also cost more money. This will all be part of Steve's platform when
he runs for governor. |
| 2:26
| Caller Rick reminds Steve that F/X reruns The Shield
right after the new one is over and again on Friday nights. |
| 2:27
| Rick still has a VCR. A VCR! What kind of TV is
he running? Rick is unemployed so he couldn't upgrade to the DVR. |
| 2:38
| Buzz can't believe the drop he just heard from Grays
Anatomy. That's exactly what Steve was talking about. No guy would
ever say stuff like that to a girl. |
| 2:39
| Grays Anatomy is definitely a girl's show. No show
who wanted to at least have some guy viewers would have dialogue
like that. No guy would say that and no male viewer would want to
hear it. Girls don't want to hear that either except Janet. |
| 2:42
| Steve thinks all of these shows are written by women
and gay guys, like Sex in the City. The only reason he watched that
one was because Kim Cattrall was naked sometimes. |
| 2:43
| Steve never cared why the women on Sex
in the City couldn't meet a guy. He knew why it was happening as a guy though. |
| 2:44
| Steve feels he's going to be yelled at for all of
this so if that's the case he'd like to get it over with now. |
| 2:45
| Janet is on the phone to clear up the Grays
Anatomy stuff. The guy in the drop is too nebbishy for his own good. In real
life he'd get a girl though because he's going to be a doctor some
day. |
| 2:46
| Janet was thankful that The Shield didn't tape the
other night. There is a God! |
| 2:47
| For the record Steve doesn't make Janet watch shows
she doesn't like. |
| 2:48
| If Janet is watching something Steve doesn't like
he usually goes up to bed but then comes back down wondering when
she's going to come to bed. |
| 2:49
| Most of the time Steve can't keep Janet awake past
8:30 unless she's working on something for her book club. Then she's
awake until 3:30 working on posters for it. |
| 2:50
| Buzz thinks that husbands and wives need common
shows to watch. All of the shows Steve and Janet have in common are
violent ones like The Shield though. |
| 2:51
| Janet likes Desperate Housewives because it's campy.
Why does Steve want to watch a campy show? He's not gay! |
| 3:02
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 3:04
| Apparently our own Pete watches Grays
Anatomy which
just further underlines the fact that it's a girl's show. |
| 3:05
| Buzz needs to drop his Joe Cool act, he's still
watching Commander-in-Chief and he used to watch Crossing
Jordan. |
| 3:09
| Song: Touch
of Grey, Grateful Dead |
| 3:14
| Touch of Grey, get it! Buzz wouldn't even know if
that song was hip or not though. |
| 3:15
| Caller Michael was calling to save Steve some headaches
with his TiVo season pass for The Shield. They made some changes
so he's going to have to cancel his current season pass and program
a new one. |
| 3:16
| A lot of networks also started or ended their shows
early or late so you couldn't tape stuff on other networks. |
| 3:17
| If the government really wants to make a difference
they should start regulating TV show start times. |
| 3:20
| Caller Jamie has a sure-fire chick show tester.
If there are no beer commercials during the show, it's a chick show.
If you have beer commercials and commercials for Ford F150s then
it's not a chick show. |
| 3:30
| Drew Hayes is in the studio. He's finally getting
what he wants which is to plug the headphones in and be on the air.
He used to have his own show you know! |
| 3:31
| Drew still doesn't believe that the rejoins are
saying FreeFN. He could play as many promos and rejoins as he wants
and Drew would still say it's the power of suggestion. |
| 3:32
| Drew is feeling very ganged-up on now could he get
Dan Falato in here or something? |
| 3:33
| Even Dan is saying it's FreeFN and you know he doesn't
want to agree with Steve. |
| 3:34
| What Drew really needs to hear is the promos where
he says FreeFM but that's not part of Steve's presentation. |
| 3:35
| Caller Tammy was in the car with her daughter yesterday
who heard FN and thought we'd spelled fun wrong. Even little kids
notice! |
| 3:36
| Drew's getting a phone call now. It's from Terry
Hardin telling him to get off the air. |
| 3:37
| You know things are bad at the station when the
program director is deaf and can't hear the FreeFN thing and the
GM is really exciting about having Rubio's Fish tacos
for three days in San Diego. |
| 3:38
| Drew would like to hear the Bill Kurtis impersonation
just to complete the Terry/Drew trifecta. |
| 3:39
| Wendy's pulling out all the stops for the boss
man with her Felicia Middlebrooks impersonation. When Steve started
his Drew impersonation Buzz looked at Drew. It's right on. So is
Wendy's Felicia though. She thought they had a history. Is she
pitching a bit here or something? |
| 3:46
| Live read: Laser Concepts of Chicago |
| 3:47
| We seem to have lost Buzz. He's probably in the
bathroom but he'll be back. Wendy's noticed him moving slowly because
of the foot surgery. He's not moving that slow. |
| 3:48
| Buzz is back, what happened? Did he get pointed
in the wrong direction or was he caught up in a conversation with
Drew Hayes or Dan? Dan is a name dropper and Drew is a location dropper
so it's a deadly combination. Every location drop sets off a name
drop and every name drop sets off a location drop. |
| 3:49
| Dan is the assistant to Drew Hayes so if he heard
the FreeFN he could have made the changes himself. He might not have
the authority to do it but he walks around here like he does. |
| 3:50
| It seems like Drew has finally been convinced that
the guy is saying FreeFN though. It only took 3 weeks, 6 staff members
and a few listeners to do it. Drew didn't think it mattered either
way since it gave Steve a great bit. |
| 3:51
| It seems like Dan was the one who finally convinced
Drew that it was FreeFN. He just held up a piece of paper with the
letter N on it. On the other side is Buzz's live read copy. |
| 3:52
| Just for future reference Buzz should be careful
around Dan's office especially if Drew is there. |
| 3:53
| Buzz is still hobbling from the surgery. If he wants,
Brendan could carry him around during the breaks. |
| 3:54
| Steve has noticed that Brendan is left handed. He
never noticed it until recently though. He's going to welcome him
into the ranks of left-handers. He actually throws with his right
hand though. He should try it with his left because Steve has seen
him throw. |
| 3:55
| You could win Sundance if you put Chef Hans, Drew
and Dan in a room and videotaped it. |
| 3:56
| Does Hans have to come in today? Football season
is over, we should give him a rest. Last week he made up most of
the sports and said a few libelous things about people. |
| 3:57
| Hearsay is great when you're at a restaurant hanging
out but not on the air. |
| 3:58
| Steve loves Chef Hans, but he's a handful. He's
a funny guy but you can't forget about the time when he talked to
Scottie Bowman for 45 minutes. |
| 4:06
| Brendan is now claiming he's not a lefty. If you
write with you left hand then you're a lefty. |
| 4:07
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:08
| Oprah had James Frey on today for a public flogging.
A Million Little Pieces is a good book but when Steve was reading
about it he knew that it wasn't the complete truth. |
| 4:09
| Steve would like to know if James Frey was actually
a drug addict or if that was made up too. |
| 4:10
| Oprah's show was cut off this morning because of
Bush's press conference. Pete saw the first 15 minutes and she was
really laying into it. |
| 4:18
| Oprah is acting like she started a war or something.
It's a book club! All she did was recommend a book that some people
read. |
| 4:26
| Steve doesn't think he can watch Oprah grilling
James Frey, it's just too brutal. |
| 4:27
| If though Frey got a public flogging from Oprah
he still sold a ton of books so it isn't that bad. Plus he could
probably write a book about all everything going on now. |
| 4:28
| How is this book any different than Confessions
of a Dangerous Mind other than you know Chuck Barris is crazy and
he was lying. For starters he didn't dupe Oprah. |
| 4:32
| Oprah's gonna cancel the book club because of this.
The last time she cancelled it was because an author didn't want
to be in the book club and she went nuts. Then she started up a book
club for the classics. As it turns out there are a lot of good old
books out there. |
| 4:43
| Based on the audio Buzz has heard of James Frey
on Oprah he doesn't sound like the kind of guy who could write a
novel. If it were him, he wouldn't be sorry about it either. |
| 4:44
| Caller Carol bought A
Million Little Pieces and
the follow-up book about the mobster he met in rehab, My
Friend Lenny.
In the back of one of the books Frey makes a note that all of the
characters in the book are now dead. |
| 4:45
| Carol saw Frey's first appearance on Oprah where
one of the audience members was very inspired by the book and checked
herself into rehab. |
| 4:46
| It seems like Oprah is dancing around the issues.
Why doesn't she just ask him what is true in the book? She probably
just likes being a victim. |
| 4:47
| This is exactly why Steve has always said reading
is for losers. Not really though because he's reading a book right
now. Well not right now but at home. He hasn't talked about it though
because it's really hard to explain. |
| 4:48
| The book is basically about how to pick up chicks
but it's not really about that. It's about a sub-culture of guys
who meet on the internet and exchange tips about how to pick-up chicks.
All the guys seem like geeks even though the techniques seem to work. |
| 4:49
| So far the guys are just concentrating on getting
phone numbers and then bragging about it to other guys. There are
also 3 or 4 different schools of thought about meeting women that
are very competitive against each other. |
| 4:50
| The book is called The
Game and Pat Dahl gave it
to Steve for Christmas. It's put together like a bible and it even
has it's own bookmark which is great. From now on Steve's only reading
books that have a bookmark built-in. |
| 4:57
| The
Game isn't a bible for pick-up artists. It is
but it's just a joke. The author started off writing about the sub-culture
but then got caught up in it. |
| 4:58
| The book seems to be about mind-control. So far
most of the guys just enjoy bragging to other guys about the phone
numbers they got. If Steve had a daughter he'd make her read it.
It's not a look into the mind of an average guy but the darkest part
of every guy's mind. |
| 5:00
| One of the best parts of the book is when a guy
takes a girl away from Scott Baio and gets her phone number. It's
really interesting but it's also very troubling. |
| 5:01
| Back to the headlines with Buzz |
| 5:12
| Steve doesn't think that Mark Saxenmeyer got the
gist of The
Game. He probably didn't read it before filing his report
on it. Oprah should make it a book club selection though because
there's a lot of info that women could use in there. |
| 5:13
| As a father of a daughter and someone who was in
high school Buzz is trying to figure out how to protect Piper. A
convent seems like his best bet. |
| 5:14
| Steve has been told for about the 8th week in a
row that Hans was going to talk to Mark Giangreco. He won't be on
again today. Apparently he doesn't value a free meal like everyone
else does. |
| 5:15
| Hans is going on a ski vacation to Switzerland next
week. Now he'll be doing his skiing hunk to practice for hanging
out in the lodge. |
| 5:16
| Live read: Sunrocket.com |
| 5:17
| Tom Leykis sounds like a young, svelte Eddie Schwartz.
According to Tom everyone in Portland is fat. They call it Porkland. |
| 5:18
| Wendy listens to Leykis because she's so intrigued
by how someone could be that driven by hate. |
| 5:26
| Does Hans have his own name dropping booth at Sox
Fest? |
| 5:30
| What does a Frank Thomas like to knock-back at the
restaurant, other than white women? |
| 5:31
| It's too bad what happened with Frank Thomas because
Steve never saw anyone hit a baseball the way he did. It must have
been what Babe Ruth was like only The Babe could do it even when
he was acting like a jerk. |
| 5:32
| The Bears are eyeing PIttsburgh Steelers wide receiver
Antwoine Randel-El. Jeff Joniak had mentioned his name last week. |
| 5:33
| Hans is picking Pittsburgh for the Super Bowl but
it's partly because of Swiss QB Ben Roethlisberger. It's actually
pronounced "Ruthlessburger". That sounds delicious. |
| 5:37
| Hans got an upgrade to business class for his flight
to Switzerland. Business class? He should be in first. If Steve was
flying to Switzerland and he looked back and saw Hans in business
class he'd get off the plane. |
| 5:38
| Buzz flew first class to Switzerland and business
class on the way back. They're pretty much the same except in first
class they seemed very focused on making you go to sleep. They even
had some weird European guy tucking you in. |
| 5:47
| Hans will be gone for 10 days but he'll be back
in time for the big Super Bowl recap. In Switzerland they have clean
air and dirty sex. |
| 5:48
| The Vinter Ulympics are also coming up. They're
showing the Olympics in Mongolia for the first time but Hans doesn't
understand why since they don't have any athletes in the Olympics.
Does Hans have a beef with the Mongolians? |
| 6:02
| Pete is trying to tell Steve something in his headphones
but his studio is so loud. It's almost too loud for Steve to understand
what he's saying. |
| 6:03
| On NBC they're saying the Olympics are in Turino
but according to Pete American's say Turin. It's like Barcelona versus
Barthelona. |
| 6:04
| Something awkward happened when Hans was leaving.
His birthday is Saturday and Hans might have gotten wind of a surprise
party being thrown by some of his friends. Steve wasn't invited but
Hans said "see ya Saturday." Why is Steve envisioning Dan, Voodie
and Chef Hans sitting around in their underpants with long forks
and Ed Silha in a thong? |
| 6:06
| If Hans is at the fondue party on Saturday this
might be Steve's chance to have dinner at Smith & Wollensky with
Mike Dahl and his girlfriend. Steve loves Chef Hans but if he's there
you can't shake him. Your neck ends up being stiff because you're
turning your head to talk to him all night. |
| 6:07
| Hans didn't really detect any awkwardness because
he's sort of oblivious but you have to be to be a good chef. He's
not as oblivious as Brendan though who's painfully oblivious. |
| 6:08
| Steve shouldn't have brought Kerry Wood into this
because he doesn't actually hang with Hans and Dan. |
| 6:09
| There was a time a couple of years ago when Steve
got a phone call on a Saturday night from a party at Hans' place.
Dan and Ed were there and they were all hanging out and drinking
wine. What kind of guys hang out and drink wine together? |
| 6:11
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:12
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 6:13
| Buzz finally pronounced Hamas correctly just as
Steve had a humus joke all ready to go. |
| 6:14
| Bush might need to get off this domestic surveillance
stuff and focus on Hamas attacking Israel. |
| 6:28
| James Frey might want to just go ahead and call
it a...whatever. What's he going to say on Larry King that he didn't
say on Oprah this morning? |
| 6:29
| Oprah's probably just now hanging up the phone with
ABC after spending the day yelling at them for preempting the show
in Chicago for the president. |
| 6:30
| It seems ridiculous for James Frey to be on with
Larry King as well as Oprah in the same day. What's the point other
than to sell books? Hasn't he sold enough books, at least by pack-of-lies
standards? |
| 6:31
| Steve will not be watching Larry King but he'll
definitely check out Oprah. He doesn't read that many books but when
he does he likes to lord them over people. Plus it's on record that
he read it before all this stuff came out and he thought the story
was a little too convenient to be real. |
| 6:32
| Steve is currently reading The Game but he's having
the same problems he has every time he reads a book. For one he mouths
the words but also if he gets lost in a certain section he keeps
rereading it over and over again until he can figure it out. |
| 6:35
| Caller Alex can prove that Steve should never read
again. The last book he was into before The
Game was A Thousand White
Women, which was a total lie. Steve's been duped! |
| 6:36
| Steve only wants to read things that a real. Janet
tried to get him to read Da Vinci
Code but he wasn't interested. Once he found out A
Thousand White Women wasn't a true story he stopped reading
midway through. |
| 6:45
| Steve used to watch Will
& Grace but then it just
got too weird. They started off as real people and then it just got
really weird. |
| 6:46
| Things got strange with the Megan Mullaly character
and then Grace was married to Harry Connick Jr. and it was a pain
in the ass. |
| 6:47
| Apparently Will
& Grace is on at 7 which seems to
early for a gay show. That's the family hour. Steve doesn't even
check into NBC until 8 when My
Name is Earl starts. |
| 6:48
| Buzz has trouble watching My
Name is Earl and The
Office on the same night. What he started doing was collection episodes
on his TiVo and then watching them marathon-style. |
| 6:49
| Steve watches The
Office first and then Earl. It
was a real awakening. It's like an opening act and then the headliner. |
| 6:50
| Four Kings is on after Will
& Grace tonight. There's
not a single person on there who Steve likes including the guy who
was on that show Pat Dahl worked on. |
| 6:58
| As proud parents Steve and Janet watched the Courting
Alex credits to see Pat's name but it wasn't there because it was
the pilot. |
| 6:59
| Janet was going to call Pat but Steve didn't want
her to bum him out. |
