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| 1:56
| James Van Der Beek recently did a two episode arc on Criminal Minds and now he's returning to network TV in Football Wives. |
1:57
| Is two episodes really an arc? Don't you need at least three for an arc? Steve only saw one episode of Dawson's Creek and it involved Dawson's student film Golden Helmets. Steve heard the boys watching that and had to pop his head in to make sure it wasn't a gay porno. |
| 1:58
| Matt only watched Dawson's Creek in high school because he thought it was cool that one of the kids was sleeping with his teacher. That's still cool today too though. Brendan kept watching until Joey lost her virginity. |
| 1:59
| Steve didn't get to hear too much of the show because he was working out. Also he doesn't want to be a radio dad, standing on the sidelines yelling for Matt to be funnier or for Brendan to set him up for a joke. |
| 2:00
| Matt got all his school stuff figured out. He cut a deal for a C in one class but he still has to finish up tutoring the ex-cons. Couldn't we categorize Brendan as an ex-con? |
| 2:01
| Matt has to write one more paper for his philosophy class and get at least a B in order to end up with a C in the class. Matt was more than happy to take an F but he shouldn't say that out loud. Steve's going to be the one who has to pay for that one when he gets home. |
| 2:02
| Matt and Brendan looked a lot more comfortable when Steve walked by their studio today. They're going to Gibson's to celebrate tonight because Mike North sent Matt a $100 gift certificate. That won't get them too far though. |
| 2:04
| Song: Chicago, Graham Nash |
| 2:08
| Steve and Buzz didn't put their cans on at the end of that song because they're old FM DJ guys. That song used to go into another song. Back in the day if they cut it off where Pete did they get people calling in to complain. |
| 2:09
| Pete got that one off the iTunes and admittedly it felt there was something missing in the song. |
| 2:10
| If Buzz wants Steve can locate the second half of that song. Buzz doesn't care because he never played that song. Steve played it because it was a good time-waster. |
| 2:11
| Pete feels really bad about cutting the song off, he should have known. What is he, the new Wendy? He's been dying to step into the victim roll and now he has his chance. |
| 2:12
| If there's a victim there has to be a persecutor and that would be Steve. Steve doesn't really care if the song was cut short. He has 5 hours to fill so he's going to talk about every stupid thing that he can. |
| 2:13
| That was a nice Olympic montage Pete put together. He's very excited about the games. They won't even happen for 20 years though so what does it matter? |
| 2:14
| Apparently the people of L.A. didn't seem too interested in getting the Olympics, which could impact the U.S.O.C.'s decision. That's how they are in L.A. though. |
| 2:15
| It seems like Chicago cares a lot about getting the games. We had all of these buildings lit up and there was a trolley to meet the delegates. Hopefully the criminal element doesn't make an appearance. |
| 2:16
| Criminals want the Olympic games because it's a great chance to rip-off foreign people. They'll make a sacrifice now if it means getting the Olympics here in 2016. |
| 2:17
| Buzz saw an article about a family in some affluent suburb that was held hostage and robbed immediately after they finished moving into their new house. Steve saw it as more funny. |
| 2:18
| When you're moving a lot of people see your stuff. They must have had really nice stuff because they didn't get killed after the robbery. If you were robbing someone and they had nothing you might be inclined to kill the person. |
| 2:19
| The same part of Steve's mind that has him finishing an entire pint of ice cream is the same part that would make him be the meanest criminal around, if he leaned that way. He's already in the house burgling you with a gun, he might as well take the next step. |
| 2:20
| The family was robbed shortly after returning home on Sunday night. Their Lexus was also stolen but found not too far from their house. It was probably just some neighborhood kids. |
| 2:21
| Caller John heard Buzz going on and on about this robbery thing. Is that a fair thing to say? Was Buzz really going on and on? |
| 2:22
| John can imagine how easy it would be to rob people who are just moving into their house. Everything is in boxes and the boxes are labeled. Now John is going on and on. Steve and Buzz have to go on and on, they have a 5 hour show to do. |
| 2:27
| Joining us on the phone now from Tucson, Arizona is Ed Farmer. He's supposed to be calling the Sox game but the engineer still hasn't shown up. Right now the game is in the second inning and the Sox are down 2-0 to the Rockies. |
| 2:28
| That seems like a huge oversight. When the engineer shows up they'll probably just join the game already in progress. |
| 2:29
| Right now Ed is enjoying the game as a fan, eating a few hot dogs. |
| 2:30
| The Sox are 0-1 against the Rockies in Spring Training. You don't really need to start caring about Spring Training games until March 21st or 22nd. That's when the starters will be getting more time. |
| 2:31
| Someone on the Rockies just hit a triple off Javier Vazquez so now it's 4-0. Is there a chance that maybe the Sox accidentally traded Garcia when they meant to trade Vazquez. |
| 2:32
| Ed got to see that Danks guy pitch the other day, he was looking really good and he was acquired in the Garcia trade. |
| 2:33
| Ed was just looking at the clock on the scoreboard thinking he needed to do a station ID. We could pause 10 seconds now if he'd like. |
| 2:34
| Steve really enjoyed watching Sunday's game against the Cubs and seeing Rob Mackowiak misplay every ball that came to him. |
| 2:35
| They kept putting Mackowiak in different places in the outfield and he kept misplaying the ball. He's always breaking too late. |
| 2:42
| Ed has the feeling that the engineer will not be showing up. Steve and Buzz won't be heading back to Arizona for Spring Training, they'll wait until the Sox come back here. |
| 2:43
| There are still plenty of tickets available for the White Sox opening day against the Indians on April 2nd. |
| 2:44
| It's nice that Ed gave us the exclusive broadcast of the Sox game today. Someone's going to be in big trouble for that one. The White Sox probably don't like when their game isn't on the air. |
| 2:45
| What does the Score do when there's no game? They can't play records. They probably just take calls from knuckleheads who want to know what the Bears will do without Thomas Jones. |
| 2:50
| It's very funny to Steve that Ed and Chris Singleton are just sitting in the broadcast booth with no engineer. |
| 2:51
| The game is on Comcast Sportsnet and the Sox have put one on the board. Juan Uribe doubled in Darin Erstad. Buzz is of course glad to see Juan Uribe back in the U.S. He has a lot of money so it must have been easy for him to get out of the Dominican Republic. |
| 2:52
| Steve needs the White Sox or baseball to take his mind off the Bears, who seem to be imploding. Although Steve did read that Jerry Angelo told Thomas Jones if he had a good year he would help him get traded. |
| 2:53
| Thomas Jones and Lance Briggs both have that Drew Rosenhaus guy as their agent. He was also T.O.'s agent. Agents make their money by churning and burning. |
| 2:54
| Steve was reading about how Lou Piniella came down pretty hard on the Cubs because he didn't like how they were playing. It's about time someone came down hard on them. |
| 2:55
| Steve should probably turn the game off because he and Buzz can't take their eyes off the game. AJ just hit a home run so now it's 4-3 Rockies. Not that these games matter, other than to remind us that spring is right around the corner. |
| 2:56
| It must be killing Ed that the Sox are scoring runs and he can't broadcast the game. |
| 2:57
| Drew was really excited that the Sox game wasn't being broadcast. Suddenly 15 seconds of dead air here doesn't look so bad next to the engineer not showing up for the game. |
| 2:58
| Drew was edged out at The Score by his own assistant Mitch Rosen. That's why Drew has guys like Dan and Sky working for him. Dan has tried his level best to edge Drew out though. Drew is definitely edgeable |
| 2:59
| This is good news for Mark Zarang though because now he gets to go down to Arizona and do the games. Normally the Sox would just hire local guys to save some money. |
| 3:00
| Buzz can't wait to find out why the engineer never showed up. He's hoping for something bizarre, like a hostage situation at a 7-11. Most likely the guy is just an idiot and misread his schedule. |
| 3:01
| The White Sox could buy a box that Ed could hook up himself in case this ever happened again. It probably doesn't happen all that often though. |
| 3:02
| With Steve you get a broadcaster and an engineer. He's Mark Zarang with content. |
| 3:05
| How did that Ted Lilly guy do yesterday? Woody did well. He got his fastball up to 95. |
| 3:06
| Lilly pitched a couple efficient innings. Mark Prior didn't do too well though but he's not concerned. Steve saw some post-game with Prior and he looked concerned. |
| 3:07
| Steve doesn't want to wreck Pete's Jennifer Hudson Day though. Why did we schedule Jennifer Hudson Day for the same day that the Olympic people are coming to tour Chicago? It makes us look like a bunch of hicks. |
| 3:08
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 3:09
| Steve just had a spinach pie for his snack, it tasted like it came from Greek Town. He actually thought Tina had made spinach pies for everyone since she's Greek. |
| 3:10
| Buzz did get his laundry yesterday. It was waiting in his office when he got to work. |
| 3:11
| Steve's been on Balance for Life for about 3 years and he's lost a lot of weight and kept it off. You really just have to stop the yo-yoing weight. |
| 3:12
| Buzz had a really bad day yesterday. Once he had that first Cinnabon it was hard to stop. Then he had a donut and went home and had some chili. |
| 3:13
| Chili isn't that bad for you if you just have the chili with no beans. Buzz had rice in his though. |
| 3:14
| You can't sneak food into your body without you knowing about it. Even if it's late and night and no one is awake you'll still know. Plus God is awake. Buzz saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "if Jesus is Your Co-Pilot, Switch Seats." Is Jesus known for his driving? |
| 3:15
| Steve saw some article about a guy named Jesus of Suburbia. He's from Florida or something and he actually claims he's Jesus. He has followers who believe him too. |
| 3:16
| That made Steve think how difficult it would be to prove to people in this day and age that you were Jesus. Back in the day if you said it people thought you were crazy but imagine what it would be like now with all the media scrutiny. |
| 3:17
| Buzz heard some speculation that Jesus was bipolar. Who's doing the speculating, Buzz? |
| 3:18
| Jesus of Suburbia is a man living in the suburbs of Houston. Steve thought it was Florida . Texas and Florida are very similar though. |
| 3:19
| Jesus of Suburbia has followers who are getting 666 tattooed on their bodies. He also believes he is the Antichrist but doesn't think he's an evil being. |
| 3:20
| Jesus of Suburbia was born Jose de Jesus or Jose of Jesus or Joe of Jesus, in Puerto Rico. |
| 3:21
| Jesus of Suburbia grew up in Puerto Rico stealing to pay for his heroin addiction, just like the real Jesus. He was a carpenter's son and a junky. |
| 3:22
| While serving time in prison de Jesus became a born again. Prison seems like the best place to become born again. |
| 3:23
| Followers often greet de Jesus with mariachi bands at airports. That's just how the original Jesus liked to be greeted as well. It was very hard to find a mariachi band in the Holy Land though. |
| 3:24
| De Jesus does not believe in sin, hell, the devil or damnation of any kind. That sounds perfect. |
| 3:25
| De Jesus' followers also don't pray. It sounds like he just streamlined the entire religion. They had a few thousand years to work on it though. |
| 3:26
| Jesus of Suburbia also practices what he preaches, he loves women, smokes and enjoys Scotch. |
| 3:27
| Jesus of Suburbia's followers give money freely and these gifts go to him, according to his daughter the accountant for his ministry. Did the original Jesus accept gifts? |
| 3:28
| As you can imagine Jesus of Suburbia has many detractors who feels he is evil incarnate, which seems like a stretch, or a con-man and charlatan. Put Steve down for that one. |
| 3:29
| Jesus of Suburbia does preach that the Catholic church is evil, his followers burn pictures of the pope and hold hold protests outside of churches. |
| 3:30
| Buzz was all in for this until he heard about the church protests. |
| 3:31
| De Jesus refers to the children growing up in his ministry as the super raza or super race. That sounds like some terminology that you might want to steer clear of. |
| 3:37
| During the break Steve went out in the hall and heard Mary asking Brendan if he thought the clean version of Kanye West's Jesus Walks had the n-word in it. |
| 3:38
| Mary didn't say n-word though, she said the actual word. It was shocking! |
| 3:39
| Steve's being told that the clean version doesn't have the n-word in it but that doesn't matter. Steve's not playing a Kanye West song about Jesus. |
| 3:40
| When did hip-hop become our go to song genre around here? Buzz is up to his eyes in hip-hop at home so he can't even tell. This is Steve's Jesus. |
| 3:41
| Song: Jesus is Just Alright, The Doobie Brothers |
| 3:45
| There's no n-word in that song. That's also Buzz's Jesus. |
| 3:46
| Steve can play a little of the Kanye West song though. He's probably very religious. |
| 3:51
| Joining us on the phone now is Kerry Sayers from Comcast Sportsnet. Having a girl on the phone really got Buzz's attention. All of the sudden he sprung to life. Buzz loves the sports chicks! |
| 3:52
| There's a lot of drama going on in Chicago sports right now. Lou's unhappy with the way the Cubs have been playing. |
| 3:53
| It's about time someone went into the Cubs locker room and told them they stink. Kerry covered the Mariners towards the end of Lou Piniella's tenure out there and she really felt bad for him by the end. |
| 3:54
| The Cubs seem to be treated with kid gloves in this city so it's about time someone finally gave them a kick in the pants. |
| 3:55
| Which dorky guy has Kerry been paired with today? Yesterday he asked Pat Boyle which babe he was paired with. |
| 3:56
| There's also a good possibility that Tank Johnson could be going to jail. What's happening to this team? No wonder they wanted to get that Lovie deal done. |
| 3:57
| Because of what happened with the gun charges Tank could face between 30 and 90 days in jail. Buzz thinks he's only looking at jail time because the Bears lost the Super Bowl. |
| 3:58
| The Bears can't wait to get back to training camp and focus on on-field issues because there are a lot of things to worry about now. The Bears need to find suitable back-ups for Thomas Jones and maybe Lance Briggs. |
| 4:04
| Moose called in to Comcast last night on the car phone to talk about the Thomas Jones/Lance Briggs stuff. |
| 4:05
| Comcast is a good place to go for sports. We're going to have their people on the show and then Steve and Buzz will eventually get their own show Comcast Sportsnuts. |
| 4:06
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:07
| A self-proclaimed pedophile has agreed to remove a photo from his website of Barack Obama and his family, including his two daughters. |
| 4:08
| Last year the man predicted that the winner of the 2008 presidential election would be the one with the cutest kids. Steve didn't even know a pedophile could have a website. |
| 4:09
| Steve sort of wants to go to this guy's website but it's probably being monitored. Then Steve will be listed as a person of interest. |
| 4:10
| Maybe the Smoking Gun has a better way to get to the website. At least it links to Obama's campaign website. |
| 4:11
| Maybe Brendan could come in and click the link to the website so Steve won't get in trouble. |
| 4:12
| Brendan! Why did you click on that website?! |
| 4:13
| Even though the website is in Spanish, it's still very creepy. Steve might need a new computer after that. |
| 4:17
| If Steve was on the Olympics committee Jennifer Hudson Day would be a strike against Chicago. The buildings looked great though. |
| 4:18
| Steve doesn't want to talk about the Olympics too much because he might be somewhere else. If he is here, he doesn't wan to be in town dealing with all that traffic. |
| 4:25
| Steve always thinks there's going to be more to Jeff's 24 Report intro but there isn't. Why would there be? |
| 4:26
| Before we get to Jeff, Steve has a question for Buzz. How does the public find out about this Barack Obama thing? It doesn't seem like something Obama would want getting out, unless he wants to show he's tough on perverts. |
| 4:27
| The Smoking Gun had some documents from Obama's lawyer's but was there an actual order issued? |
| 4:28
| Steve is starting to wonder why we're doing a 24 Report and not a Heroes Report. Heroes is the much better show. Last night's 24 sucked. |
| 4:29
| Jeff does have some good news for Steve and Buzz, last night was hour 12 of 24's season. 12? That's it? Steve thought they were at least up to 20. |
| 4:30
| Steve fell asleep during 24 last night but he was watching it at 10:30. Jeff was taking notes as he always does and halfway through the episode he wrote "STUPID" after Jack barricaded himself in the consulate's office. |
| 4:31
| Jeff has three audio cuts for today's report so Pete can start playing them now. |
| 4:32
| Steve is actually the one who plays the audio now, not Pete. |
| 4:33
| The best part of last night's 24 was when it ended so Steve could watch Heroes. Heroes was so great. |
| 4:34
| Steve still likes 24 but they need to start blowing stuff up and have some chicks running around. |
| 4:35
| The only good thing about last night was when the guy from Ally McBeal turned in the guy who couldn't keep Hillary Swank satisfied. |
| 4:36
| Jeff starts losing Steve when he speculates about what's going to happen in the next 12 hours of the show. |
| 4:43
| Steve was trying to think of a song to play that could tie in to 24. He doesn't have Back in the U.S.S.R. so she suggested something about a whisper, very nonchalantly. As it turns out The Nadas have a song about whispering. They have a song about everything though. The former Cat Stevens also has a song about whispering. |
| 4:44
| Pete just did that cool thing where he freaks out and thinks he's in the wrong studio. He heard laughter and left the studio. |
| 4:45
| Pete should go towards the laughter, not away from it. He didn't want to interrupt Steve in the middle of the comedy. He was going to put the CD in the CD player but then Steve looked at him. |
| 4:46
| Steve looked at him because the door opened. It could have been a hired killer for all he knew. |
| 4:47
| For future reference Pete can just bring the CD in and hand it to Steve. He can take it from there though. |
| 4:48
| The newest Cat Stevens CD made Steve fall asleep when he first listened to it. This whisper song might not have any lyrics though. |
| 4:49
| It seems like an intro to another song to Buzz. Steve remembers being freaked out by it because it seems like an instrumental and then Cat Stevens starts talking. |
| 4:50
| The song goes right into a cover of Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood. |
| 4:51
| Song: Back in the U.S.S.R., The Beatles |
| 4:55
| That whole embassy thing is an interesting plot crutch for 24. It's a no man's land and since they can't leave L.A. within the time frame of the show they go to an embassy. |
| 4:59
| Steve doesn't want any more 24. C'mon Pete! |
| 5:00
| Pete only played the 24 drop because there was a last minute change. Neil Funk was supposed to be on so Pete had to replace his intro with some 24 he had on hand. |
| 5:01
| Jeff sounds like a car salesman when he calls in for the 24 Report. Steve could really use a Dunkin' Donuts pick-me-up. |
| 5:02
| There isn't even a donut in the bag for Buzz any more. It's very cold. Buzz doesn't want any of Steve's donut, he was suicidal after everything he ate yesterday. |
| 5:03
| Buzz is starting to sound like a chick with this weight stuff. He's like one of those girls who keeps saying he's not hot but really is. |
| 5:04
| Buzz feels that he's about 10 pounds away from being totally cut. To what end does need to look fabulous? He's already got Aimee. |
| 5:05
| Buzz doesn't even want to maintain that look, he'll take 6 months of it. Then after it's over we'll wistfully look back on it as his Matthew McConaughey phase when he couldn't keep his shirt on. |
| 5:06
| Buzz is talking to a guy who weights 293 pounds. Nothing he says is going to impress Steve. |
| 5:07
| Buzz weighs 181 pounds and he's 6 feet tall. He sounds like a woman at a Weight Watchers meetings. |
| 5:08
| Caller Tom is having a hard time feeling bad for Buzz. If he really wants to drop those 10 pounds though he needs to get a personal trainer. |
| 5:09
| Buzz should hook up with Steve's trainer Cornell. He'll shame him into losing that weight. Cornell tries to shame Steve but it doesn't work. |
| 5:10
| Steve was back working out with Cornell for the first time in a few weeks. Steve was gone for a week and Cornell had some sort of hernia. |
| 5:11
| Cornell kept telling Steve to take it easy because he hadn't been to the gym in a while. It's not like Steve was gone for a year. |
| 5:12
| After the workout Cornell informed Steve that he put him on lighter weights and that he wasn't stronger. Was that really necessary? Then there was an older gentleman next to them working out with a trainer who was grunting. It sounded like a gay porno. |
| 5:13
| Caller Victor (Vector) is a doctor. He doesn't think Buzz should worry about losing 10 pounds at his age and height. He should have the donut to get him through the afternoon too. |
| 5:14
| Victor things those extra 10 pounds are just added newsman, blues man wisdom. This guy doesn't sound like a real doctor. Is this Dr. Feelgood? |
| 5:15
| This is starting to sound like Kathy and Judy now. Steve is sick of hearing about Buzz's weight. |
| 5:16
| The other problem is that Buzz is down in the office all by himself. There's more pressure on him because there isn't someone else eating down there all day. Before he could look behind himself and not feel so bad. |
| 5:17
| All the pressure is on Buzz and Jim kid can here every smack of Buzz's lips. He's just silently taunting him. Jim says he can eat more while he's in the office. What does that mean? |
| 5:18
| Jim's dating a black girl and they like a little the big booty on guys. Buzz thinks Jim still packs the food away. He'll always sees an empty candy wrapper laying around. That could be left over from Wendy though. |
| 5:19
| Jim says he could eat more just so Buzz doesn't feel as bad about what he's eating. He could have easily eaten 2 or 3 more Cinnabon's yesterday. As it turns out that Cinnabon food drop was authorized before Steve's new rule so that guy was grandfathered in. |
| 5:20
| Is Buzz weighing himself all the time back there, wondering how much his pants or shoes weigh? |
| 5:21
| Steve thinks Buzz looks fine but then again he's not getting nailed by him. Maybe he'd see a Buzz Kilman he didn't want to see, flabby, non-flexible, inaccurate. Then his knee goes out because he can't support his weight. |
| 5:26
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:27
| The Bulls plane got delayed going to Miami so Neil Funk won't be on today. Does Brendan have the rest of the sports? |
| 5:28
| Brendan was going to bring the sports in during the next break. Steve has been trying to get everyone to funnel things through a central person, Mary, but they're all holding on to their little things. |
| 5:29
| You'll recall yesterday that Pete knew the length of the John Belushi segments and Jim knew the dates they were originally broadcast. |
| 5:30
| Steve was going to play Dr. Feelgood although Motley Crue seems just as bad as hip-hop. It's not high on Buzz's list for bands to listen to. He does like the way Tommy Lee steers his boat though. |
| 5:31
| Does the song have profanity in it? They wouldn't give it to him if it did, unless CBS slipped them some money in hopes of getting Steve to violate his contract. Then they could turn this place into a Mexican Funhouse. |
| 5:32
| Song: Dr. Feelgood, Motley Crue |
| 5:35
| Steve thinks that song is about a drug dealer but he can't prove it. Maybe he should have Bill Kurtis read the lyrics. |
| 5:37
| It's hard to read the lyrics without singing the song. |
| 5:39
| It seems like they sort of ran out of juice in the third verse. They were trying to make it a story song but you can't really follow the story. |
| 5:40
| You can probably follow the story if you're Tommy Lee or Vince Neill. |
| 5:41
| This is the poetry we will be leaving for people to unearth hundreds of years from now. They'll read them to their children and not be surprised that our civilization completely collapsed on itself. |
| 5:42
| Did Buzz happen to see that Bill is going to be the new Paul Harvey? The old Paul Harvey is dying or at least he's closer to death than Bill. |
| 5:43
| Bill wasn't hired as the new Paul Harvey, he's just declaring himself the new Paul Harvey and seeing where it goes. |
| 5:44
| Buzz and Steve's former boss Jim DeCastro is marketing Bill as the new Paul Harvey but so far there have been no takers. |
| 5:49
| Steve loves Tommy Lee, but the answer to who's steering the boat is no one. There's two people on the boat and Pamela Anderson is underneath him. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. |
| 5:50
| Apparently Brendan tried to call Neil but he was still on the Bulls plane. Neil started yelling at Brendan that he can't be called on the plane but he was just joking around. Brendan started freaking out about it though. |
| 5:51
| That incident just highlights the fact that we need to have a device that can record everything Brendan is saying when he screens phone calls. Steve asked that one engineer about it last week and he hasn't heard anything about it. John Valenta is sort of like that Haitian guy on Heroes who wipes people's memories. |
| 5:52
| Also, what happened to that helmet cam that Ed promised last week? Ed said he had the camera and just needed a helmet. Ed is a computer guy and they like to take their time solving a problem. First they get the camera then the start the search for the helmet. |
| 5:53
| Ed is probably too busy hanging out a Smith & Wollensky eating sorbet shooters and telling the waitress to go ask a girl at the bar if they ever dated. |
| 5:54
| Does Pete watch Heroes? Because last night that Sylar guy was holding his tea the same way Pete held his coffee at S & W a few weeks ago. |
| 5:55
| Sylar was drinking tea and even that didn't look good. Pete does drink tea on the weekends, Tina got him some. Of course she did, she's very sophisticated. |
| 5:56
| Pete sort of is the Sylar of Rogers Park though. Poor Mohinder stuck to the ceiling last night and then the girl who can change into different people. It really made Steve mad that Heroes wasn't going to be back until April 23rd. That's 6 weeks! |
| 5:57
| Even Eric Roberts is starting to grow on Steve. He's really creepy looking though. Last night Buzz's wife actually pointed out just how creepy looking he was which made Buzz like him more. |
| 5:58
| Time for some sports. The White Sox signed pitcher Javier Vazquez to a 3 year extension. Then he went out and pitched badly. |
| 5:59
| The Bears named Pep Hamilton there quarterbacks coach. What kind of name is Pep? That sounds fake. What happened to Wade Wilson? |
| 6:07
| Sylar was drinking his chai tea just like Pete drinks his coffee or tea. Pete probably has the giant Jennifer Aniston Friends mug at home. Then when he kills his victim their head fits right in the mug. |
| 6:08
| News with Buzz |
| 6:09
| The big news is that Scooter Libby was found guilty of obstructing justice. The fact that the jury had a lot of sympathy for Libby might be grounds for a mistrial. |
| 6:12
| The CIA may have some new information about the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden in Pakistan. Riiiiiiiiiight!. |
| 6:15
| All this Heroes talk is reminding Steve that he needs to hook up with his Japanese friend Shu. He wanted to get some shabu shabu, Steve should send him an email. |
| 6:16
| This morning PETA sent a letter for Al Gore explaining to him that the best way to go combat global warming was to go vegetarian. They also offered to make him a dinner of faux fried chicken. |
| 6:17
| According to PETA the meat industry is the largest contributor to greenhouse gases. Who would want faux friend chicken, unless it's fo' pieces of fried chicken. |
| 6:19
| Steve was thinking about that Obama website thing. The press must have found out from the guy who runs the website. It's really creepy and there's no way Obama would want anyone knowing about that. |
| 6:20
| The Florida hiccup girl has suffered a setback. After 5 weeks they stopped last Thursday but she briefly started hiccupping again. That's just enough for her to get mentioned again. |
| 6:32
| According to court documents released today NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak learned that the man she was having an affair with, Bill Oefelein, was having an affair. She learned via email while in an orbiting space shuttle. |
| 6:33
| It certainly doesn't seem like Nowak needed to put on adult diapers and drive from Houston to Orlando but Steve likes the devotion. Obviously she'll have to stop to get gas. |
| 6:34
| Do we know if they were having sex? She told police that it was more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship. That means he was nailing her. |
| 6:36
| There's a whole attached document containing the emails but it's really hard to read. Steve's going to try anyway. |
| 6:38
| It seems like both the women were emailing Oefelein while he was on the shuttle. At one point the other woman asked Bill if some crazy lady was going to show up trying to killer. |
| 6:39
| Buzz found it fascinating that Oefelein assured Colleen Shipman that the relationship with Nowak was over. |
| 6:41
| Steve's going to look at the rest of these tonight. It doesn't seem like you should be getting these kind of emails while you're on the shuttle. It should be all professional. |
| 6:42
| Frankly, Steve is a little disappointed in Bill Oefelein. A real astronaut would have gotten both the women together at the same time. |
| 6:48
| Oefelein continued to date Lisa Nowak while his relationship with Colleen Shipman. |
| 6:49
| Should this stuff be going on on a shuttle? No wonder they blow up all the time. They are quite phallic-looking though. |
| 6:55
| That Oefelein guy is really just doing what dudes do but he was cutting it a bit close. That's also what dudes do though. |
| 6:56
| It's nice to finally know what the relationship between Oefelein and Nowak entailed though. He said it was romantic just to cover himself. Romantic to a guy is getting some. |
| 6:57
| Buzz is just glad to know that astronauts are like regular people. This is why they call them asstrounauts. |
