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| 2:01
| Steve has to say that Brendan was a little lethargic yesterday during the show. He lacked energy from the get-go and it only got worse as things went along. |
| 2:02
| Matt was out at the Jiffy Lube and he was full of energy but he was outside in the fresh air. Brendan could take a short nap after Matt's show and someone else could answer the phones for Steve. |
| 2:03
| Matt thinks Brendan should take the nap option. That would probably be a permanent nap though. |
| 2:04
| Matt and Brendan were talking about Lance Briggs during the break. Steve thinks the Bears will eventually be forced into signing him long-term so it's a good negotiating ploy on his part. There's no way he's going to give up $7 million and take out a loan to pay for his house. |
| 2:05
| The Tribune quoted Briggs saying he wants to be the leader of the team but then he said he was misquoted and would be willing to play with Urlacher. Of course the Sun-Times also had something but that's not a real paper. |
| 2:06
| Mike Dahl is here filming promos for Comcast with Steve and he's become quite the corporate shill. |
| 2:07
| Steve said something about Mark Prior blowing his arm out signing figurines but Mike said they couldn't air it because the Cubs own Comcast. |
| 2:08
| Then Steve wanted to do a promo where he was a baseball coach and he had the headset on but Mike told him baseball coaches don't wear the headsets and it's too much set-up for a 30-second spot. |
| 2:09
| During the show Comcast is going to get some footage of Steve and Buzz's bantering. They're just shooting B-roll but we're not telling Buzz it's B-roll. He's already thrown a phone today so we don't want him to do anything else. |
| 2:10
| Buzz was having some issues getting into his voicemail and he might have thrown the phone. Although when Steve went down there he was listening to voicemails and seemed fine. |
| 2:13
| Song: Good Day Sunshine, The Beatles |
| 2:15
| If you could only be in the studio right now to see a great Groundhog Day moment with Pete. He's trying to plug something into the feed box so that the Comcast people can get audio from the show and he can never remember which one to use. Buzz has been handed a baseball bat for the promo. |
| 2:16
| Pete's gone into crazy mode where he's not explaining things or even talking to Steve. Now John Valenta is here. |
| 2:17
| In the meantime Buzz has to start talking. He can't just sit there fondling the bat. |
| 2:18
| Comcast is on cable so they have lower standards but Steve and Buzz are professional broadcasters. |
| 2:19
| Steve wants to make sure they're all hooked in because they'll say something clever and he wants it recorded. Then Corporate Mike will sanitize it for the promo. |
| 2:25
| The Comcast guys can hear Steve and Buzz now. How do they sound? Fantastic? |
| 2:26
| Pete was not wrong, he plugged the feed into one of the holes that had worked in the past. Then John Valenta took time out of his busy schedule to fix the problem. |
| 2:27
| John is like that guy in The Illusionist because he won't explain how it works. He didn't have a real explanation for why the plug that normally works doesn't work today. He claimed it has never worked but it has. |
| 2:28
| Buzz isn't sure why he was handed a bat but he should stop fondling it because Mike Dahl, corporate censor, will never allow it into the promo. |
| 2:29
| Buzz thought there was maybe a whiffle ball game scheduled for today. Tuesdays are normally the game day. |
| 2:30
| Steve did a few funny, cutting edge things before Buzz came in for the promos but Mike will probably cut it down. |
| 2:31
| Mike was doing a lot of timing of Steve but he wasn't getting any useful hand signals from him. He would just tell Steve it was too long after it was over. |
| 2:32
| Steve's not really used to getting hand signals and he doesn't like getting them either. If someone tells him he has 5 seconds left he wants to talk for 10. |
| 2:33
| Mike apologizes for the technical difficulties, but it's not really his fault. He's sitting in the Wendy victim chair right now though. If it hadn't gone well Steve wouldn't be talking about it. |
| 2:34
| They need to loosen stuff up over at Comcast. Mike needs to tell Jim Cormo that Steve's ready to do the kind of sports show that will get him fired after every broadcast but then they'll have to rehire him because of the advertisers. |
| 2:35
| Are these cameras in the studio HD because Steve's going to be mad if they're not. |
| 2:36
| Everyone at Comcast really knows their stuff. Every time someone calls into the show we learn something. Just yesterday we learned that Kerry Sayers played female rugby at University of Michigan. That was hot. Comcast might want to check into girls rugby as an up-and-coming sport. |
| 2:37
| Steve told Dan Jiggetts that he wanted to do a daily report on Comcast but he just laughed at him. He could get one of those video phone uplinks but those are pretty expensive. Management is probably just as cheap over there as they are here. |
| 2:44
| It was hard to get a word in when Steve was on Chicago Tribune Live because that Sam Smith guy is a basketball know-it-all. |
| 2:45
| It'll be good to get those promos on Comcast plus there are probably some good outtakes we could put up at Dahl.com. For some reason Steve couldn't say afternoon which is key to the promo. |
| 2:46
| Steve sort of lost his temper and threw his headphones down, in tribute to Buzz throwing his phone down when he couldn't get his voicemail to work. |
| 2:47
| Buzz actually hurt his hand throwing the phone down. Steve loves when that happens. Whenever he punches a wall he manages to find the stud and that really hurts. |
| 2:48
| When Buzz walked in today Jim told him his phone had been ringing off the hook so of course he wanted to check his voicemail. So Jim started all this? Doesn't he know that if Buzz is unhappy Steve has to deal with it for the rest of the day? |
| 2:49
| Why doesn't Jim just answer the phone? Or is that not part of his job? Maybe he should come down here. |
| 2:50
| The first voicemail was from Pat Loony at the Abbey Pub and it was from last October. Pat Loony is of course the real Steve Bartman. If you look at the video you actually see Pat going for that foul ball and Steve Bartman just making an effort because he's there. |
| 2:51
| Why doesn't Jim answer the phone? If it's ringing all morning obviously it's important. As it turns out though, it was Jen Donahue from the sales department thinking she was calling Tina or Stephanie. |
| 2:52
| Jen is the brightest bulb in the sales department, you hate to see her dimming like that. |
| 2:53
| Steve has a song to play about sports but he's not sure if there's any profanity and he doesn't have the lyrics in front of them. |
| 2:58
| The song Steve was going to play is by the Bottle Rockets. He likes them and he knows this song but it rocks really hard and sounds like it would have profanity in it. |
| 2:59
| The reason Jen Donahue was looking for Stephanie or Tina is because Steve has arranged for them to get a My Chauffeur limo to the Justin Timberlake show tonight at the Allstate Arena. |
| 3:00
| Steve was trying to book a limo for tomorrow for his dinner with Shu at the Korean barbeque place on Lawrence but as it turns out that's not until next week. |
| 3:01
| If the girls end up going to the Admiral after the show they have to call Steve. |
| 3:02
| If Jen calls Buzz's office doesn't the voicemail have his recorded message on there? Let's find out? |
| 3:03
| Now that Steve is calling the office Jim will probably answer the phone. Buzz thinks he's listening to the show so he won't answer. |
| 3:04
| Buzz hasn't recorded a message for his voicemail. He needs to record a sweet one later today though. |
| 3:05
| Buzz didn't really listen to Jen's message because it wasn't for him. Then he got his message from Pat Loony who called to ask him to promote a John Popper gig at the Abbey back in October. |
| 3:06
| It seems like John Popper is on a downward spiral that started last October. He should have never gotten thin. No one wants a thin John Popper. |
| 3:07
| Steve was going through all of his sound effects and he has a ton of different phone rings. The first one is the classic, old school telephone ring. It's hard for Buzz to not reach out and pick up the phone. |
| 3:08
| Song: Telephone Line, ELO |
| 3:12
| That's not Steve's go to telephone song but it's the only one he had. During the song Steve and Buzz were chatting, as they're wont to do. |
| 3:13
| Buzz asked Steve if he ever bids on anything on eBay. Buzz is currently involved in bidding for a vintage amp. Right now the price is well below what it's worth but that's how they get you. |
| 3:14
| Buzz put in his maximum bid so he's the high bidder right now but there are at least 2 other people interested in it. |
| 3:15
| Steve's advice was to use the Buy Now option but the thrill is to get it for considerably less than that price. Right now things couldn't be better for Buzz but he knows that at the last minute all financial hell is going to break loose. |
| 3:16
| Buzz would like to be the guy who swoops in at the last minute with the extra $100 for the bid, still bringing him in well below the amp's actual value. |
| 3:17
| You can sign up for eBay email alerts but Steve is pretty sure there's also a program you can get to bid for you. Maybe a listener knows for sure but right now the only guy on hold is Robert to tell Steve and Buzz that what you have to do is bid at the last minute. |
| 3:18
| We don't really need a caller to tell us that. It's pretty obvious the guy is just calling in for a gift certificate. Brendan is already off to a bad start today. His time on the midday show seems to be getting in the way of telling right from wrong. The guy is still on hold too, he hasn't had the decency to hang up! |
| 3:19
| Caller Peter thinks there's a service called Snide or Snipe that will bid for you. This is an "I think" call? Brendan's going to get one whack at the mole before it's nap time forever. |
| 3:20
| Steve doesn't need any "I think" calls, he's already misinformed on his own, he can't take on any more misinformation water. Steve's going to take one more call, how does Brendan feel about Jeff? |
| 3:21
| Caller Jeff wants to know how it's hanging. So far, so good he's very casual which means he's confident in his information. Jeff points Steve to AuctionSniper.com, he thinks that's the website. Another "I think"! |
| 3:22
| Steve's going to go out in the hall during the break and see if maybe Brendan needs a nap. Is he being too mean? Even yesterday Buzz said that first call shouldn't have been on the air. Then when Steve was driving home he remembered how sweet it was that Buzz was mean. |
| 3:23
| Ed Silha is on the phone. He sent Steve an IM about AuctionSniper.com 10 minutes ago and he also forwarded it to Mark to put on his page. Steve doesn't need a description of the inner workings of his show right now. Because now a turf war is going to erupt between Ed and Mark. |
| 3:24
| The one that will probably appeal the most to Buzz is PowerSnipe.com. They have a money back guarantee if you don't win the auction. For someone like Buzz who probably won't use one of these services that often, that's his best bet. |
| 3:25
| Buzz can't believe the excitement that's been brought into his life since he started bidding on his amp. Steve really wants to find out what he's bidding on so he can force Buzz into purchasing at the Buy Now price. "Who the hell is Tubby69?!" |
| 3:26
| If those other callers call back Brendan can give them a dinner or something. And Brendan does a good job and he has a lot to do. |
| 3:27
| We're lucky we got anyone to call in about eBay because a lot of the people who are really into it are pretty creepy. |
| 3:28
| Remember that time Steve bought all those 45s of Harry Caray singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame? |
| 3:29
| Steve only wanted to buy one record but the guy had a lot of 250 and he somehow talked him into buying all of them and giving them away on the air. |
| 3:30
| The eBay people are the same people who were on the Dahl.com forum only they have something to sell you. The internet is a haven for bi-polar people. |
| 3:31
| Steve figured out who that guy was from last week that wanted to spit in his face so he emailed him. Then the guy emailed Steve back with some tirade about suing him for harassment. |
| 3:32
| Steve emailed him back that he doesn't really know the law because you can't sue for that. After about 15 tirade emails from the guy he finally said that looking back he might have crossed the line. That's great and all but Steve wants his afternoon back. |
| 3:33
| When you call into the show with information though, don't say "I think". You're better off just lying because "I think" freaks Steve out. |
| 3:36
| Caller Mike thinks Ed is trying to raid Buzz's wallet. We don't need to get into any name-calling here. How about just the information? |
| 3:37
| Mike recommends BidSnipe.com. They give you the first few bids for free and the rest they charge you per bid. |
| 3:38
| Steve is on BidSnipe.com and there's nothing there. Mike thinks they might have gone under but he used them about 6 months ago. |
| 3:39
| And that completes our eBay segment. Can't Buzz just use the Buy Now feature and be done with it? |
| 3:40
| It seemed like Mike was about ready to unleash another slam on Ed too. Steve might prefer it when girls call. |
| 3:41
| Steve knows that people are just trying to help but at some point they just want the free dinner. |
| 3:42
| Steve has had some weird experiences on eBay though, like the Harry Caray guy. He can't remember what exactly was on the record. |
| 3:43
| Pete thinks that Steve was looking for a version of Take Me Out to the Ballgame where Harry said White Sox instead of Cubs. Unfortunately that wasn't on this version although it was recorded when Harry was a Sox broadcaster. |
| 3:44
| The other thing about buying stuff from eBay is when someone ships it to you via USPS, all wrapped in old yellow newspapers. It's a reminder that if this person didn't have an internet hook-up they'd probably be homeless. |
| 3:49
| On the phone is Dan Jiggetts from Comcast Sportsnet. That Lance Briggs stuff doesn't sound too good. |
| 3:50
| The thing about the Lance Briggs situation is that if he sits out this year he's out $7.2 million and the Bears can do it to him next year too. |
| 3:51
| Dan thinks that one of the key mistakes early on in this process was for Lance Briggs to make it public so early on. Sometimes it works but in this situation it might go against him. |
| 3:52
| No one is going to have sympathy for Lance Briggs right now even if he is worth more money. The average football fan is going to see $7 million and think that's more than enough. |
| 3:53
| The Bears should just sit down with Briggs and try to figure it out because they both need each other. |
| 3:54
| On the other hand the Bears probably know they can't let every player do this to them. Lance Briggs is a pretty special player though which is why the put the franchise tag on him. |
| 3:55
| Drew Rosenhaus is doing Briggs a bit of a disservice in this situation because it's not the same as it was with T.O. T.O. is probably still looking for some of the money he left behind in Philly though. |
| 3:56
| Steve heard that T.O. can't even read the plays and has to be told where to go in each huddle. |
| 3:57
| Steve has a plan for the brackets which he wants to run by Dan. It's not fun for Steve to pick everyone who's going to win right now so he's trying to perfect a new system where everyone picks the winners before each round. |
| 3:58
| Sitting there with a piece of paper and trying to figure out who's going to be in the Final Four is impossible. |
| 3:59
| Steve read in the paper today that the 12th seed is often a lucky slot which could be good for U of I. They still have guys on their team who have tournament experience which could work in their favor. |
| 4:00
| The next time Steve talks to Dan he's going to have this all figured out. He has until Friday right? The play-in game is actually Thursday so he should probably get it done before that. |
| 4:01
| Steve feels that once he gets this perfected people will refer to it as the Dahl System. It's a great way to get people involved in games they might not care about. |
| 4:07
| Caller Jim wanted to let Steve know that the play-in game is actually tonight. |
| 4:08
| There are 32 games in the first round, how are you even supposed to comprehend that? You should be able to pick after each round. |
| 4:09
| Steve knows how Butler is, but how is he supposed to know who Old Dominion is? |
| 4:10
| Tina is running the brackets this year but she might only know how to print off the brackets. Brendan used to run it but he's got his own show now. He always also tired of losing to Terry Armour every year. |
| 4:11
| Brendan thinks there's a way to do it with Steve's system. You could accrue points for each round or something. |
| 4:12
| How is Steve supposed to know who's going to win with Indiana versus Gonzaga? Isn't Gonzaga a type of cheese? |
| 4:13
| Someone would have probably done it the way Steve wants to do it if it were possible. People are already calling in with pitfalls though. |
| 4:14
| Caller Matt has run a few NCAA pools and they're a huge headache. Most of the games for the first few rounds are on Thursdays and Fridays so Steve will have to call people on Saturdays to see if they want in on the next round. |
| 4:15
| Steve doesn't mind administrating the pool though. It seems like you could do the first round and then if you you want in on the next round you have to pay another $10. |
| 4:16
| It just seems really stupid to have to pick all the teams because then anyone can win. There's no strategy in that! |
| 4:17
| Caller Mike has an idea for Steve's bracket system. Everyone has to email their next round bracket on Saturday morning after the first round. |
| 4:18
| The person who wins the first round gets 75% of the money and the rest is carried over until the very end. |
| 4:19
| The way Mike's office runs the bracket is that the picks are weighted by their rank. So if you pick a #12 pick to beat a #5 pick you get 12 points. That sounds like an administrative nightmare. |
| 4:20
| Steve has lost interest in all of this. He'll just do Tina's stupid little $10 pool then. |
| 4:27
| Steve has given up on trying to pioneer NCAA office pools. It's too complicated and his attention span is too short. |
| 4:28
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:29
| Marine General Peter Pace told the Chicago Tribune that he believes homosexual acts are immoral. What exactly are immoral acts? Isn't killing people an immoral act? |
| 4:31
| A motive in the Wrigleyville apartment failure. The suspect said that she lost her shoes and was cold so she started a fire to keep warm. That woman is completely nuts right? |
| 4:32
| Last night on TV Steve saw people saying that the system had failed the woman, Mary Smith. What about the people who died in the fire though? |
| 4:33
| Betting is furious on the internet about if and when Heather Mills will lose her artificial leg during Dancing With the Stars. |
| 4:34
| Steve doesn't want to watch Dancing With the Stars to begin with and really doesn't want to to watch someone with one leg competing. He respects people who live with disabilities and all but it seems wrong to be showcasing that. |
| 4:40
| It's time for the 24 Report. BUDDY! GUH! Is the phone effect too much if Steve is doing the segment as Jeff? |
| 4:41
| Jeff is in LA and he had dinner last night at Bowa. It's not owned by former Cub Larry Bowa though. |
| 4:42
| Did Jeff see 24 last night? He actually didn't, but kept emailing Steve to ask if he saw it and if it was good. |
| 4:43
| The main thing in last night's episode was the stabbing of President Logan by his ex-wife. Jeff's also got some tapes for the segment. Hopefully he wasn't too much of a bother to Pete. |
| 4:44
| A lot happened on 24 last night, oy vey! Ricky Schroeder is back he's from Silver Spoons. Jeff used to put a silver spoon up his nose back in the 80s, they called him Silver Snout. He doesn't do that any more. |
| 4:45
| The first audio cut features Ricky laying down the law to all the computer nerds at CTU. |
| 4:47
| Cut number 2 is Powers Boothe. Is he scary or what? WHOA! Jeff was so scared that he's still in bed at the W Hotel in L.A. |
| 4:48
| The final cut is the former First Lady stabbing her ex-husband. Jeff doesn't even know if he's doing this chronologically, he just wants to get this done. |
| 4:49
| Jeff was once at a restaurant in California and the food was so bad that he took a shrimp and shoved it in the umbrella hole. |
| 4:50
| Later on Jeff felt so guilty that the food might start stinking that he called the restaurant and told them one of his kids might have stuck a shrimp in there. |
| 4:51
| Jeff has 2 more cuts but he knows how Steve likes to do things in 3s so he'll just stop. |
| 4:59
| That was a fine 24 Report without Jeff. It seems like they go better without him although Jeff's not going to like that. |
| 5:00
| Earlier today when Steve was talking about doing the promos for Comcast he was going to play a Bottle Rockets song but wasn't sure if there was profanity in it. |
| 5:01
| Stephanie listened to the song and she says it's OK. Steve assumes that she knows what OK means so he's going to play it. Neil Funk is also coming up in a few minutes. |
| 5:02
| Neil Funk was part of Steve's Thought of the Day which Buzz did get. Everyone on the mailing list gets the Thought of the Day. Buzz just got on it last night because he emailed Steve. |
| 5:03
| In the past everyone who emails Steve gets put on the mailing list, but it involves a complicated process of cutting and pasting the email addresses into a Word document and sending them to Ed. |
| 5:04
| Over the weekend Steve was looking for something to do so he answered all his emails and then started harvesting the email addresses. Steve didn't like the process so he told Ed that they should just set it up capture the addresses of people who email him, but not the ones they already have. |
| 5:05
| Unfortunately there are still about 1,100 addresses to harvest and Steve doesn't feel that he's up to the task. |
| 5:06
| Steve likes to respond to as many emails as possible. Some how he fell behind and ended up responding to emails from August. It was weird to be responding to people about Garry Meier. It was like being able to see into the future. |
| 5:07
| Steve could go for a pick-me-up, at the very least. He might also need a lap dance too. Today he went with iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts because it's 70º out. |
| 5:08
| There's an email from a guy named Mike who wanted to tell Steve that him doing the 24 Report as Jeff was the funniest thing he's ever heard. That's something Steve wants to respond to. |
| 5:09
| On the other hand, Steve gets an email from a guy who wants to know the name of the vasectomy clinic that advertises on the station. Steve already got a vasectomy plus that doesn't seem like the kind of question the host of the show should have to answer. |
| 5:10
| Steve's going to forward that question to the sales department, they're usually pretty good about answering that stuff. Some how a Meat Talk question also got to Steve so he has to forward that one to the Meat Talk email. |
| 5:11
| Song: Sunday Sports, The Bottle Rockets |
| 5:16
| That's a big finish on that song. It's the longest ending Buzz has ever heard. |
| 5:22
| Does Steve need the machine to do Neil Funk or should he just do it normally? Brendan can't reach Neil Funk, this is the second week in a row he's skipped out on us. |
| 5:23
| How about Neil in the locker room, on the telephone? How 'bout those Bulls Buzz? |
| 5:24
| Neil is glad to be talking to Buzz because he never gets to. He always has to talk to Dahl with his fake basketball knowledge. Steve doesn't even care about basketball? |
| 5:25
| Neil invites Buzz to come down to a game but he doesn't think he'll ever make it. What about Falato or Hayes? |
| 5:26
| Neil's gonna put Bill Wennington on the phone. It's like having Bullwinkle the moose as your color commentators. |
| 5:27
| Neil doesn't have much to say today. The Bulls will be in the playoffs but no one knows where they'll be seeded. Tonight they're playing the Celtics who they beat Sunday in Boston on that parquet floor they have. |
| 5:28
| Neil was so disappointed when he saw that floor because he thought it would be made of butter. It's just wood. Does Buzz know any good strip clubs in Boston? |
| 5:29
| The Bulls are wearing their green uniforms tonight which should really confuse the Celtics. |
| 5:30
| How about that Departed movie? It's all about Irish criminals in Boston. What about that scene where Jack Nicholson throws the coke on the bed and tells the girl not to move until she's numb. What does that mean? Neil asked Wennington but he didn't know. |
| 5:31
| That's about all Neil has to say, but Bill Wennington has one more thing to add. |
| 5:34
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:37
| Steve saw Patrick Bertoletti on Fox with that Mike Barz guy, who's back in Chicago now. He used to do the sports on WGN then he went to do weather on Good Morning America. |
| 5:38
| Patrick was doing a donut-eating contest but they only gave him 30 seconds. Patrick still ate 5 1/2 donuts but he was dipping them in water which caused Mike to start dry-heaving. |
| 5:39
| Patrick was sporting a Steve Dahl hooded sweatshirt. Hopefully he paid for it but he probably didn't. |
| 5:40
| It was good to see Patrick on TV though, he's always a great interview. They spent more time talking about eating than actually eating though. Steve doesn't need to see Mike Barz trying to keep down his donut either. |
| 5:41
| Steve can see how it would be nauseating to watch someone dipping donuts in water and eating them if you're eating the same thing. |
| 5:42
| Steve does like Mike Barz and he's glad to see him back here. The weather on those morning shows is really lame and he has more talent than that. |
| 5:43
| Every time Steve moves his mic stand it sounds like he's in the hold of a ship. Buzz is really enjoy that sound. |
| 5:44
| Buzz is still reeling from the departure of Scott DiMaio. Now they've got that girl who looks like a stripper on every night. |
| 5:45
| Caller Raphael (you can tell Raphael) wanted to alert Buzz to a great jalapeño popper at Joe's Crab Shack. |
| 5:46
| Steve can't believe that Buzz had never had a jalapeño popper. He doesn't like to order things when he doesn't know what they are. |
| 5:47
| The poppers are sort of like chili rellenos made with jalapeño peppers. Back in 2005 during the White Sox championship run Steve did a series of shows from Pancho Pistolas which is near The Cell. |
| 5:48
| Everyday day Steve had three chili rellenos and they reeked havoc on his system. He was like a flame thrower. |
| 5:49
| Caller Joe is a big fan (6'3", 330). He wanted to let Buzz know that Rick DiMaio was the guy who left Fox. |
| 5:50
| Fox has a new guy named Darian Trotter. Steve doesn't know much about him but according to Rob Feder he goes for shock value. |
| 5:51
| Feder's column starts off "Fox staffers are buzzing..." which is a sweet subliminal reference to Buzz. |
| 5:52
| Almost everyday Buzz says that he always has to check Feder to see if he has a job. It's like he's being paid to say that. |
| 5:53
| Trotter shocks with this wardrobe choice, from ascots-he stole Buzz's look!-to a lime green shirt under a Burberry jacket. |
| 5:54
| Is this guy black because he's dressing like a pimp. No one else wants to say that so Steve will. |
| 6:02
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 6:03
| Steve brought Buzz one of his snacks today, a chicken guacamole dish. Does he have any tequila to go with it? Steve is eating crab stuffed mushrooms. |
| 6:04
| Buzz totally inhaled his snack. Steve should probably do sports while he recovers. Does Buzz want his whiffle bat? |
| 6:05
| White Sox pitcher Gavin Floyd audition for the 5th starter spot today and gave up 6 runs in 3 innings. |
| 6:06
| Sox pitching coach Don Cooper said that pitchers need to keep their counts down and Jon Garland said his sluggish body language shouldn't be a sign that he doesn't care about Spring Training. |
| 6:07
| Today Lance Briggs reiterated his earlier statement that he would sit out the 2007 season. Why do guys want to self-destruct in public like this? |
| 6:08
| If you're a football person you know how good Lance Briggs is so you don't need him going on TV and alienating fans. |
| 6:09
| The University of Illinois has retired Chief Illiniwek's name and regalia. They will still be called the Fighting Illini though. |
| 6:10
| If only the Chief could have been a little less light in the moccasins, that could have made all the difference. |
| 6:11
| The Arizona Cardinals have fired assistant coach Richie Anderson after he was busted soliciting prostitution from an undercover police officer. Was it a boy cop or a girl cop? Either way it doesn't really matter. |
| 6:12
| Anderson was just hired by the Cardinals so he's obviously new in town. Some people call them prostitutes, Steve calls them new friends. |
| 6:17
| Buzz might recall that yesterday Steve made a reservation for himself with My Chauffeur to have a limo take him to a Korean barbeque place to have dinner with his Japanese friend Shu. With the popularity of Heroes everyone needs a Japanese friend. |
| 6:18
| Steve originally scheduled to get the car for three hours but then realized how close the restaurant was to The Admiral. He bumped it up to 5 hours but they should have given him an "as needed" option. |
| 6:19
| As it turns out the dinner is next Wednesday so Steve arranged for Tina and Stephanie to be taken to the Allstate Arena to see Justin Timberlake. Tina is calling from the limo right now. |
| 6:20
| The last time Tina called was when she forgot Buzz's laundry. They have a huge limo and they even had her last name, spelled correctly, right in the front window. |
| 6:21
| Tina's last name is Sfondeles and over the summer she checked him into a hotel downtown. As a result the people at the front desk thought his last name was Fondleus and when they called him that he said "how did you know!" He thought the had a camera in the room. |
| 6:22
| After the show who gets Justin Timberlake and who gets Timbaland? Stephanie has been a lifelong fan of Justin Timberlake so Tina will take Timbaland. |
| 6:23
| Now Stephanie is on the phone. She's OK with not having her name on the limo. That's how Tina rolls. Originally they went to the smaller town car but that's actually Buzz's ride. He says he takes a cab but really he has a limo. |
| 6:24
| Steve thinks Stephanie should raise the divider so the driver thinks they're making out. Tina might be too prudish to even do that. She's a bit of a stick in the mud. That's why there haven't been any office orgies here in a while. |
| 6:25
| News with Buzz |
| 6:26
| George H.W. Bush was has been released from a California hospital after collapsing at a golf outing and is already joking about the experience. Why aren't they presidents ever funny when they're in office? |
| 6:27
| George W. is pretty funny but he's also pretty scary. |
| 6:28
| The Iranian government is accusing the film 300 of portraying their ancestors as dumb savages. |
| 6:29
| Steve's had enough of that whole scene over there. It's time to turn it into a big glass coffee table. |
| 6:30
| Viacom is suing Google and YouTube for $1 billion for copyright infringement. |
| 6:32
| Comedian Richard was scheduled to come to Chicago last weekend but canceled his dates at the Improv in Schaumburg. Jeni died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound on Sunday. |
| 6:33
| The Improv's Tony Baldino said that Jeni didn't give a reason for canceling his shows but did hint at depression. |
| 6:34
| Why do all these people do interviews after they've dropped the ball. It's like that guy who saw the homeless woman starting a fire on the sidewalk in Wrigleyville. |
| 6:39
| Steve has a question that he can't answer on his own so he'll put it out for the listeners. At night when Steve looks into the western sky he sees a very bright object. |
| 6:40
| Steve thinks it's planet because it's too big to be a star. It might be more southwest than west. |
| 6:41
| Steve doesn't understand any of this astronomy stuff, he's not Galileo. He does know that the Earth revolves around the sun though. |
| 6:42
| Caller Paul saw the same thing and that's Venus. Mark Czerniec says that it sets like the sun. |
| 6:43
| Paul has a telescope and it came with a computer program that helps him identify what he's seeing. Sounds like someone is a bit of a nerd. |
| 6:44
| Steve doesn't understand any of the astrology stuff either, he just knows he's a scorpio and when he tells people that they think he likes to get freaky. |
| 6:45
| Caller Jeff (nerd #2) wanted to direct Steve to a sweet telescope at the Discovery Channel store. You can point it at the sky and using GPS it tells you everything you're looking at. |
| 6:47
| Steve might have to get one of those telescopes. It's nerdish, but it's a containable nerdism. He can pull it out when no one is looking and then put it away. Then he can point out Venus in the night sky. |
| 6:48
| Song: Galileo, Indigo Girls |
| 6:58
| The word zodiac literally means circle of animals. Did Steve ever tell Buzz that he's a scorpio? You know what that means? He's a freak! |
