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		Monday, March 19, 2007



2:00	Matt Dahl is a lubrican, not a lubrican't. Steve just got an email that said Matt's show is funny. It's only one email so they shouldn't get too excited.
2:01	Drew also got the email which is good because Steve still wants to represent Matt and Brendan. Who's representing them now, Brendan's wife?
2:02	Steve tried to watch Borat on Saturday but Janet didn't think it was funny. Once you're watching that kind of movie with a girl you don't think it's as funny.
2:03	When Steve saw it with the boys they were laughing from the moment the music started in the movie.
2:04	Steve reads the email about Matt and Brendan's show. The emailer thinks that Matt and Brendan are the perfect thing for the station and will attract the younger audience.
2:05	The emailer also refers to Brendan as The Greaseman. Has Matt ever used that on the air because that's Brendan's nickname among friends.
2:06	Now that Matt and Brendan have been doing a daily show they are hanging out more. They did have a bad experience at a Mexican restaurant on Saturday. Brendan promised that they'd have a hook-up and get right in but instead they waited 45 minutes for a table.
2:07	It was St. Patrick's day so it was very crowded. Brendan normally goes there when it's empty and he usually gets take-out too.
2:08	Mike Dahl started partying at 8:00 AM yesterday. He might want to get a sponsor because it seems like every weekend he's on some charity pub crawl. Matt was very impressed with Mike's drinking endurance though.
2:09	Matt is heading out to Jiffy Lube today but he should leave now to get there at 4:00. He doesn't need to be hanging out at the station.
2:11	Song: The Battle is Over (But the War Goes On), Brownie McGhee & Sonny Terry
2:13	Steve saw Brownie McGhee and Sonny Terry as a kid in L.A. and even then they were old. Buzz saw them when he was younger in New York.
2:14	Steve worked at a hip underground radio station and one of the guys from there said they had to go see these guys because they were really cool.
2:15	Buzz saw them in 1961 and someone had to help Sonny Terry onstage because he was suffering from diabetes. But once the music started all hell broke loose.
2:16	Steve remembers Sonny Terry having a sweet belt that held all his harmonicas. Buzz might want to get one of those plus it could double as a weight belt.
2:17	Steve saw a story about Sinbad, the entertainer not the sailor. Steve doesn't like to call Sinbad a comedian because he's not funny. There was some hub bub over the weekend because his Wikipedia entry said he was dead.
2:18	Anyone can put anything on Wikipedia. You could change Steve's entry to say he's dead. This probably happens all the time but eventually the moderators on that site check it out and verify the information. He probably just did it himself to get some press.
2:19	Even the AP article won't call him a comedian, they refer to him as an entertainer as well. They're duty-bound to report the truth.
2:20	Sinbad's Wikipedia has been temporarily locked because of the vandalism. It's not really vandalism is it? It's not like they spray painted a swastika on his face.
2:21	The AP doesn't even say he's out doing stand-up comedy on the road, they just say stand-up.
2:22	This article has reminded Buzz that Sinbad is still alive, but it doesn't mean he's going to see him perform. Now that Steve knows he's alive he has to try extra hard not to run into him.
2:23	Steve almost ran into Bernie Mac, who was being interviewed by Stan and Terry after their show. He had quite an entourage.
2:24	You'll recall that Bernie Mac said that he was done with the Sox before they won the World Series. Then Steve saw him at the World Series in really good seats and left halfway through the game.
2:25	Steve wrote about it in the Tribune and then got a series of mean voicemails from him. Unfortunately a system malfunction deleted all the voicemails before they could be played on the air.
2:26	Steve initially thought it was Craig Gass calling as Bernie Mac but then when he was here he yelled down to Mary and Brendan that he was still a Sox fan. He could have come on the air and said that though.
2:27	Steve's looking at his Wikipedia entry and it says that he died today although the day's not over yet. Where's Steve's call from the AP? It will probably be fixed immediately though.
2:28	Steve wouldn't mind being listed as deceased, it takes a lot of pressure off of him.
2:29	Caller Dan has a funny Sinbad story, which is why Steve put him on the air. He was in Vegas a few years ago standing in line at the Pure night club at Caesar's for three hours. Three hours for a club? Have some self-respect!
2:30	Dan was waiting in line because it was a party for Fergie's birthday. Steve wouldn't wait in line to have sex with Fergie.
2:31	Dan and his friends were just about ready to get in when the police rolled up and said a big celebrity was going to be coming into the club and jumping the line. Steve would have just been mad that someone was jumping the line.
2:32	Then Sinbad rolled up with an entourage of unattractive women, wearing a gold, one-piece suit. They finally got in and paid a bunch of money, then had to wait 20 minutes to get a drink. That all sounds great.
2:33	Mark Czerniec is on the phone and he's happy to report that Steve is alive again according to Wikipedia. Enjoy every sandwich!
2:34	It's not that big of a deal that someone changed Sinbad's entry but it is a big deal because people haven't talked about him for a while.
2:35	Steve is showing some Jesus-like qualities right now because he keeps dying and then being brought back. He's like a Jesus yo-yo. Will that get him any publicity?
2:36	You can go to the history section and see who is changing the entry. One guy seems intent on correct all the mistakes but the people who keep changing it are anonymous users.
2:40	Steve is still alive according to Wikipedia. The last time Buzz checked he was still dead. Buzz probably wants Steve dead though.
2:41	So Steve is still alive and he'd like to keep it that way. The entry now says "Steve Dahl (born November 20, 1954, and currently still a living person after resurrecting on the 19th of march after a freak showering accident which cost him his life)" Let's keep it that way.
2:42	The entry also says that at the beginning of his career Steve wore a tin foil hat beanie. Steve's fine with that too and anything that makes the entry better. It used to say Hawaiian shirt but Steve's fine with tin foil hat beanie.
2:43	Last week you'll recall that Steve had a mistake in his Tribune column. He said that in a Black & Tan the Guinness goes to the bottom but it doesn't. As it turns out they don't even drink Black & Tan's in Ireland, they drink Half & Halfs. Steve doesn't really care that he got that wrong although it seems like the vice advisor should know stuff like that.
2:44	Last week Steve was also getting complaints about his Thought of the Day emails. People were complaining about being spammed but it's very easy to remove yourself from the mailing list. One of the unintentional consequences of the emails is if you unsubscribe and then complain about the email, you get back on the list.
2:45	Today's thought of the day mentioned the Illini losing in the first round but really it's the second round. Steve notified Ed and told him to send out a new one that was a funny correction but instead he just sent out another one that was corrected.
2:46	Of course Steve got several more complaints about the two Thought of the Day emails. Can't these people just delete the email and move on?
2:47	The sad thing is that Steve watched almost every basketball game over the weekend so by the end he was a complete idiot. Steve doesn't appreciate that Kentucky's coach stole his nickname? Can't he be Black Tubby and Steve can be White Tubby?
2:48	Steve watched so many games that he couldn't keep track of when one round ended and the next began. It seems like the people at CBS don't even know what's going on.
2:49	Steve had his brackets at home but he didn't bother checking them because he only cares if he's winning. He can't tell if he's winning because he doesn't know what everyone else's brackets look like.
2:50	Steve has lost his lead in the office pool and now Ron Lewis is on top. Technically he doesn't work here so Steve is going to refund his $10 and kick him out. How does Ron have time to fill out a bracket while he's busy with tax season?
2:51	Steve reserves the right to kick anyone out who's beating him and doesn't directly work for the show. Terry is already gone and Stan, Drew and Ed are on the bubble.
2:52	Tina doesn't arrange the leader board in any sort of numerical order so Steve can't really tell who's ahead of him. Then Tina asked him if Steve was going to make fun of her for how she's running the pool. Is it really that bad?
2:53	Steve is on the bottom of the list with an asterisk next to his name because he submitted his brackets after the deadline. Steve didn't cheat though.
2:54	Steve was interested at the beginning of the weekend because he was in the lead but there were too many games to keep track of. Then he comes in today and Ron is beating his ass by 9 points.
2:55	So there were two Thought of the Day emails sent out but the first one with the mistake is now a collector's item, just like last Thursday's print edition of the Tribune.
2:56	Don't mess with Steve today, he's already risen from the dead twice today. The Wikipedia entry now says that Steve abandoned his trademark tin foil beanie in favor of multi-colored coat and unicorn underwear. That's funny and all but it just proves that the internet is still a place for Dungeons & Dragons guys.
2:59	Our own Ron Lewis tied the game for the Buckeyes over the weekend forcing an overtime which they eventually won. Ron sounds like a short Jewish guy but in fact he's a large black man.
3:00	Large segments of Steve's Wikipedia entry are now missing, they're tearing the whole thing down.
3:01	The only things missing are the stuff about unicorn underwear and tin foil beanies but that was incorrect info. It was more like a unicorn codpiece.
3:02	It's sad that Sinbad can get this much publicity but Steve can't. Sinbad probably needs it more than Steve, although it wouldn't kill him either (pun intended).
3:03	Buzz was delighted to find himself mentioned in the Mallomar entry on Wikipedia. Of course now he's probably opened himself up to vandalism. People don't want to mess with Buzz though, they want to mess with Steve.
3:04	Steve has a song to play that ties all this stuff in because he's a DJ. There's nothing about that in the Wikipedia entry though.
3:05	Speaking of music, Steve caught Snow Patrol on SNL over the weekend. Pete probably doesn't like them any more now that they were on SNL. Pete still likes Snow Patrol though. What turns him them? Jay Leno? Because Steve can understand that.
3:06	Song: Not Dead Yet, Ralph Covert & the Bad Examples
3:08	Ralph Covert has become a successful children's musician but he's a pretty good rocker in his own right.
3:09	If you listen to the show via podcast you can't hear the song but you can hear Steve humming along to it. Steve is working on getting clearance for that stuff because a lot of other CBS stations have it.
3:10	Also speaking of the podcast, the reason that the cowbell sounds so loud is that there's no limiter on it so it doesn't balance out the loud stuff and the quite stuff. John Valenta is now working on getting that fixed.
3:11	Steve did all of that over the weekend via email. After you forward Drew about 50 complaint emails on the same topic he does something about it. While Steve was talking to John about all this he also got him to look at the studio door.
3:12	There are a lot of people who abuse the email system and send Steve a ton of emails every week. People will email Steve and then he'll email them back and it just goes on and on.
3:13	People should only be able to send Steve one email per week. Some people can't stop and then Steve can't stop sending them back smiley faces and it goes on forever. It doesn't really matter though because Steve doesn't have anything else to do on the weekends.
3:18	Steve's got a ton of mail, as you can well imagine, since he went through 800 letters over the weekend. How about a mailbag?
3:19	Another thing you don't hear on the podcast is the mailbag theme but Steve doesn't understand why. He knows why it's not on there but he just has to press a button. He owns the rights to the theme so it's going on there.
3:20	We can put the music and drops on the audio stream but not the podcast because that's an actual recording.
3:21	Steve gets a lot of pitches for the show for interview opportunities. It's just a mailing list but they personalize to make it seem like it's not.
3:22	The email is about a new product called Milk Screen, which analyzes breast milk for alcohol content. Steve can do that on his own in about 30 seconds.
3:23	A woman would have to drink so much alcohol that she'd be dead before her breast milk started effecting her baby. A little alcohol might actually quiet the baby a little bit.
3:24	The next email is about last Thursday's podcast, hour 5, when Steve played Otis Redding's performance of Try a Little Tenderness at the Monterey Pop Festival.
3:25	After the song Steve mentioned that shortly after that performance Otis was on the way to a show in Wisconsin and his plane crashed into Lake Mendota. The band that was supposed to open for him was Cheap Trick who at the time were called The Grim Reapers.
3:26	A poster from the event will be going up for auction next week with a starting bid of $10,000. Buzz is going to take a pass on that.
3:27	As Steve suspected there is a different way to do NCAA brackets round-by-round. So Someone else also thought that the current bracket system was ridiculous.
3:28	Tina also arranged the leaders of the show pool from first to last. Ron Lewis is in the lead with 52 but Jim is hanging in there with 49 points.
3:29	The next email goes way back to someone who commented that Lane Closure, Steve's old traffic girl, sounded like Father Mulcahey from MAS*H. Oh yeah, Steve totally remembers that.
3:30	Now, all these years later, this emailer has a similar observation about Buzz who often chimes in with "mumbling, semi-incoherent, quick blatherings".
3:31	Then the emailer goes on to compare Buzz to some cartoon character named Blob from BJ and Dirty Dragon. Steve and Buzz have no idea what this guy is talking about. The guy sent a link to some audio of the Blob but Steve can't get to it. That would be too easy.
3:32	This emailer does laugh every time he hears Buzz talk just because he sounds like this cartoon character, which is all that matters.
3:33	Steve has a feeling that when he hears the audio of the Blob it won't sound anything like Buzz since he doesn't recall Lane sounding like Father Mulcahey.
3:38	Steve found some audio of the Blob. Hopefully Buzz wasn't offended by the guy's comments. He's just a fan trying to relive the past glory of comparing Lane Closure to Father Mulcahey from MAS*H.
3:39	None of these characters sound like Buzz.
3:40	Caller David has some info about Gigglesnort Hotel. The Blob was a Claymation Blob with eyes drawn on it. The Blob sort of sounds like Buzz when he's clearing his throat.
3:41	Steve doesn't care about any of this because he didn't grow up here.
3:43	On the phone is Mitch Robinson from Comcast Sportsnet. Right now they're getting ready for the SIU game and the Bulls game.
3:44	Saturday night on ABC that Ryan Chevarini guy was in Columbus talking to some of the SIU players. He couldn't stop asking them if they were disappointed that they weren't playing U of I.
3:45	The guys were getting pretty mad because they don't really care who they play, they're just glad to be in it.
3:46	SIU/U of I was a dream match-up for someone but the players don't really care about it.
3:47	This year Mitch is going to be report on the Cubs and the Sox while Chuck Garfein will be doing some sideline reports for the Sox.
3:48	Somehow the Bulls lost to the Grizzlies on Saturday and somehow U of I lost their game on Friday. They were winning that game and then they just fell apart.
3:49	Then after the game you had that one U of I player crying, which is something you don't like to see. Mitch was crying because he has Louisville in his Final Four but that was in the privacy of his office at work.
3:50	Does anyone really pay attention to the NIT? DePaul is playing Kansas State tonight but no one even cares.
3:51	The NIT and the Women's Final Four doesn't really get any attention from the media. Steve accidentally watched some Women's Final Four. A lot of the guys wear their hair long so it's hard to tell what you're watching.
3:52	Mitch doesn't know who's going to be the fifth starter for the White Sox. It seems like Gavin Floyd has the most experience. The Cubs fifth starter is also of some concern. It'll probably be Wade Miller.
3:53	The Cubs offense is very similar to the Mets last year. They're going to put up a lot of runs so you just need pitchers who can go out there and throw 6 or 7 innings.
3:54	In the small time we've been talking to Mitch can Buzz tell what his favorite food is? According to his Playmate data sheet it's lobster. Also his worst job, other than the midnight shift at Comcast, was selling women's shoes.
3:55	That doesn't sound like a bad job to Buzz but he's much freakier than Mitch. He likes uvula's and apparently women's feet.
4:02	Steve watched too much basketball over the weekend and he couldn't tell which round he was watching. He did it not for love of the game but for lack of anything better to do. He just watched basketball games and answered 800 emails.
4:03	Headlines with Buzz
4:04	It's the 4 year anniversary of the war in Iraq. Steve misses shock and awe, can we see more of that?
4:05	When they list the casualty count they should include people who have lost limbs. Steve can only speak for himself but losing a limb would be a huge deal for him.
4:06	Steve watched 60 Minutes last night which featured an interview with that soldier who's being charged with murdering 19 Iraqis. The reporter was some sanctimonious pretty boy too.
4:07	If Steve and his soldier buddies were driving around in 4 Humvees and one of them was blown up he'd start shooting at everyone in sight. It seems like the way to win a war is to kill men, women, children and dogs. How are you supposed to win a war if you have to wait and see if you're really shooting the enemy?
4:08	When we dropped the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki we probably killed men, women, children and dogs.
4:09	Cook County sheriff's authorities made their biggest pot bust ever over the weekend. Sheriff Tom Dart also said it's the best pot you can get.
4:10	Scott Pelli was the guy interviewing the soldier on 60 Minutes. It's really easy to be a reporter in a studio ripping on this kid, maybe he should try it out on the front lines.
4:11	All sorts of bad stuff went on during WWII but we didn't hear about it because there was no CNN. All of the other wars mostly happened on battlefields, between two armies with different uniforms on.
4:12	It might be time to turn that whole place into a glass coffee table with oil derricks.
4:21	Steve kept thinking while he was watching 60 Minutes that Scott Pelli would probably soil himself if he was even shot at.
4:22	There are a lot of reporters who have seen real action during war time but the most violence this Scott Pelli guy has seen is a football game.
4:23	Matt Dahl is on the phone from the Jiffy Lube at South Chicago & Jeffrey. It's still Chicago but close to Blue Island.
4:24	Matt got to the Jiffy Lube early and there were already people waiting for him. They probably got there early to see Matt get there late. That's his thing now, he's the late guy.
4:25	Matt's giving away prizes but he's also changing oil, rotating tires and changing windshield wipers.
4:26	Matt will be at a different Jiffy Lube everyday this week. As far as Steve can tell Matt's not near Blue Island though.
4:27	Matt just asked someone if he's near Jiffy Lube and he was laughed at. Now he's lost his cred as Mr. Jiffy Lube. He's about 12 miles from Blue Island as the crow flies.
4:28	Steve's eating right now because he's being paid to eat. That's his new thing, being paid to eat. It's a fantastic gig.
4:29	Sadly the sales department has let the pick-me-up lapse. Steve was hoping for a little continuity but today he won't be eating a donut.
4:30	Live read: Balance for Life
4:35	We still have an open mailbag, which has to be driving Pete crazy. Admittedly that's a short drive.
4:36	Steve only read two emails and one was oddly disparaging to Buzz. It seems like the guy couldn't fully form his comparison between Buzz and The Blob.
4:37	The next email is also about Buzz, from a 16-year old girl. This isn't an episode of To Catch a Predator though.
4:38	The girl was in the car with her mom and the show was going to break when Steve calmly said "hopefully amplifier will be here when we get back"
4:39	The girl's mom started laughing spastically and appeared to be speaking in tongues about amps, auction snipers and other things.
4:40	The emailer wanted to let Steve know that the show is a constant source of entertainment for her family. That's weird because this show is a constant source of embarrassment for Steve's family.
4:41	A couple of breaks ago Steve thought he heard Buzz say that Piper had chest fever but really she has chess fever because she loves playing chess.
4:42	Song: Chest Fever, The Band
4:46	Piper doesn't have chest fever, she has chess fever. Buzz wanted to teach her to play chess but it seemed hard to do.
4:47	Buzz found a game called No Stress Chess. It's a standard chess board and each player makes the first two moves, and then you pick cards that tell you how to move. Steve hates chess but this sounds like something he'd enjoy.
4:48	Now Piper has chess fever and if you've ever had it, which Buzz has, you know that all you care about is playing chess and maybe eating.
4:49	Steve once had Chinese Checkers fever, but never chess fever. Steve hates chess because he never wins and he can't think that far ahead and he hates it and he doesn't remember where the pieces move and he hates it. He'd rather play Candyland but No Stress Chess sounds OK.
4:50	Steve was looking up the song Chest Fever and found something about it on SongFacts.com, which as you can imagine has different facts about songs.
4:51	Maybe the story behind this song would sound better coming from Bill Kurtis. The intro to the song was played on an organ and the result of a very long improvisation. They don't even do improv at Second City any more, it's just a mockery.
4:52	BIll recently went to Second City and demanded his money back because there was no improv. Instead they gave him and Donna free drinks so they had a few highballs and went home.
4:53	The lyrics of the song were also improvised by The Band in the studio and loosely tell the story of a man cast aside by a woman who becomes sick with love for her.
4:55	Live read: My Chauffeur
4:56	Steve is booking a car for his dinner Wednesday night with his Japanese friend Shu. Everyone needs a Japanese friend these days because of Heroes.
4:57	Steve was going to have the limo for three hours but then it was pointed out to him that he'd be right by the Admiral and he owed them a courtesy call.
4:58	Steve would like to get them advertising on the station and it also occurred to him that he might want to be surrounded with strippers more.
4:59	It seemed like Shu was OK with going to the strip club, even though his wife and her friends are coming along. It seems like Japanese guys get to do a lot more.
5:00	Shu was telling Steve about a tradition in Japan where bosses go out with their employees after work all the time, everyone gets real drunk and then say whatever they want to anyone. But the next day, it's all forgotten about. It's like an office Christmas party every night.
5:01	Tina and Stephanie went out to see Justin Timberlake last week at the Allstate and road out in a limo. They had a great time, some of which Buzz heard all about.
5:02	Tina said that she got to touch Justin Timberlake on three separate occasions. Steve thought that was Stephanie who got to touch him three times.
5:03	Steve and Buzz can't get away with something like that but Justin Timberlake can roll into town, do whatever he wants and then roll out. If Steve and Buzz did that they'd be in court for the next year and a half.
5:04	Shu's dad is now in his 80s but when he used to run their company, he'd be out every night with employees until 2:00 AM. Shu said that Steve is the place for him.
5:05	There was a time when Steve was taking Japanese lessons because he thought he could be huge in Japan. He still remembers some of it though.
5:06	Steve can't remember who he knows that knows the guy at the Admiral. He thought it was Jeff Schwartz but now Ed is claiming it's him. That's not the hook-up you want walking into the Admiral.
5:07	Ed was hooked up at Smith & Wollensky and as a result Steve was treated poorly by the waitress.
5:08	There was a time when Ed was an amateur pornographer. He was way ahead of the webcam curve but his downfall came in the free 5 minute previews. 5 minutes is really all you need.
5:09	Steve would like to know how Ed knows the guy from the Admiral although he probably won't go there. By Wednesday he'll probably be trying to get out of the dinner.
5:10	Steve doesn't really maintain many friendships but he'd like to work at this one because he really wants to go to Japan. Once those people get a load of Steve they're going to love him.
5:11	Steve loves noodles, being washed and neon so he'll fit right in. He also loves room dividers made of rice paper and heavily lacquered wood.
5:14	Brendan brought in some sports but said there was no good audio. Steve finds that hard to believe but what can he do about it?
5:15	Buzz thought there'd be good audio from last night's brawl at a high school basketball game at Madison Square Garden. The announcer dropped an f-bomb.
5:16	Pete says he doesn't have any audio from that and he usually likes to have three cuts. This is the new excuse apparently.
5:17	Pete relies on other sources for the audio and this late in the day there isn't a lot of new stuff. Maybe Comcast can start feeding us audio. Steve doesn't really care, it was Buzz who took everyone to task
5:18	Buzz bases every thing he does on audio which is good since we're in radio. When he goes out to listen to the audio with Jim it's like the Passion play and Buzz is dragging a cross down the hallway.
5:19	Steve believes Pete and Brendan when they say there's no good audio. Couldn't Brendan at least pretend that he's upset about that though? Ever since he got his own show he doesn't care about this one any more.
5:20	Matt Dahl is on the phone from the Jiffy Lube on South Chicago and Jeffrey.
5:22	They're really working Matt pretty hard, but the Jiffy Lube people love him.
5:23	There's no new audio for the sports according to Brendan. Pete concurs. Steve will forge ahead and do the sports sans audio.
5:24	AJ Pierzynski had a scare when his flight from Florida to Arizona experienced technical difficulties. The plane's generator failed and one more problem could have caused a crash.
5:25	The Cubs may leave pitchers Mark Prior and Kerry Wood in Arizona when they return to Chicago after Spring Training. Are they going to tell then they're leaving?
5:26	David Wells has announced that he has Type-2 diabetes but it's manageable. Who doesn't have Type-2? Just have lunch and it's managed.
5:30	Steve's been waiting to get a better picture of what's happening on the Dan Ryan so Tyrone can do a special report. He's tried to go to the website but it's very complicated.
5:31	It's like the people in charge of the construction don't think they're doing their job unless they put out a really complicated explanation of what's happening.
5:32	Buzz thinks we should call someone at Metro Traffic and get an explanation. Or Tyrone could just talk about how the city and the state is trying to keep black people from their homes.
5:33	Caller Tom wanted to let Steve know that during Dancing With the Stars there's going to be a world premiere of the trailer for the final Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
5:34	Steve doesn't care about that, he never saw the second movie. He liked the first one but he's not watching Dancing With the Stars. Steve couldn't live with himself if he watched Dancing With the Stars.
5:35	Tom is 53 and he's tuning in to Dancing WIth the Stars tonight to see the trailer for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. He needs to listen to what he's saying and then make some changes.
5:36	Joe Collins is on the phone from Shadow Traffic. In a nutshell, what's the deal with the Dan Ryan?
5:37	Southbound on the Ryan all of the local lanes will be completely closed along with various exits. Starting tonight some of the express lanes will also be closed. This is getting too complicated.
5:38	Steve wants to know what happens once he crosses the Stevenson on the Dan Ryan. The next place he'll be able to get off is 31st or 35th.
5:39	Joe has to do traffic for WBBM-AM right now if Steve doesn't mind waiting. It'll be very exciting to hear it happen live.
5:40	That was a nice report, very smooth. He even goes to Kent Sumpka, the eye in the sky.
5:41	Supposedly everything on the Dan Ryan is going to be closed, but you can still get off at 31st and 35th. The entrances and exits that are closed will keep changing which is why Steve can't figure it out. All the local lanes will be closed though.
5:42	Even from the express lanes you can still get on and off and certain exits. Instead of every 4 exits though it'll be every 8 exits. Basically half the exits and half the lanes are going to be closed at all time.
5:43	Tyrone is wondering why Steve didn't ask him about this? And where's his damn music?! Tyrone's got all the answers!
5:44	Tyrone just flew right at Kent Sumpka to throw a scare into him but he's not sure if Buzz could tell that was happening.
5:45	The Dan Ryan project is a way to keep the black man from getting home. When the black man and the black woman can't get home they can't make their house payments and then all the houses get taken away from them and the neighborhoods get gentrified and white people move in. Then all the black people will be forced to live on boats on the lake.
5:46	Tyrone can't say who's behind all this specifically but it's definitely the white government. There will be an attack though. Jesse Jackson is planning things along with undercover tumblers rolling into your neighborhood.
5:48	Snow Patrol was on SNL over the weekend and Steve really liked them.
5:49	Song: Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
5:53	Snow Patrol is from Ireland but you can't tell. It does sound like U2 but they wanted to sound American.
5:54	Live read: Townstone Financial
5:55	Steve was thinking we should have some soap opera music for the serialized Townstone live reads.
5:56	Steve's not sure what that would entail and one of Pete's weak spots is background music. There was one time when Steve wanted romantic music for something and Pete brought him a CD that featured two dudes kissing on the cover.
5:57	Steve was thinking something organy. The stylings of Denny McClaine come to mind.
5:58	Steve doesn't mean to besmirch Pete. Over the years he has had some trouble with the background music. He's quite good at everything he does though.
5:59	None of these are really working. Maybe something from Young & the Restless?
6:00	Pete's stammering is really getting out of hand.
6:07	News with Buzz
6:08	A detainee at Gitmo has admitted to planning the attack on the USS Cole. This is a different guy than the one last week so it sounds like they finally got their torturing down.
6:09	Steve misses the shock & awe in Iraq. What happened to that?
6:10	Steve's solution for the whole thing is to slowly move our troops out of Iraq about 100 at a time and then nuke the whole place. It's the birthplace of civilization but it's time for a do-over.
6:13	Jury selection is underway in the murder trial of Phil Spector who's afro is a shining achievement of humanity. He's bald too so it's like an afro and a combover.
6:15	Mark Czerniec says Phil Spector's afros are actually wigs. They don't seem like wigs but Mark wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true.
6:17	U.S. health officials say they expect more pets to do from poisoned pet food. That company makes every pet food so your pet could have died and you wouldn't even know.
6:18	Spector wore a Beatles-ish haircut today along with a long Beatles-style jacket for today's jury selection. His lawyer must have told him the jury wouldn't buy into the Sly Stone look.
6:19	The London Telegraph calls it a toupee but it's definitely not a toupee. It's also not the fro that Steve and Buzz are looking for.
6:20	Maybe Phil popped the top on his afro wig and that woman realized who she had to sleep with and killed herself. They found gun powder on both of her hands so that should help Phil Spector.
6:31	Buzz has believed that Phil Spector was guilty for all these years and then he hears about the gun powder on the girl's hands. He was charged years ago, that's some good lawyering.
6:32	The girl was working as a hostess at the House of Blues. She must have really liked music because there's no other reason to hook up with Phil Spector.
6:33	Phil Spector was always pretty creepy and now he looks really creepy. Buzz remembers him as a performer but Steve can't find any of his stuff on iTunes.
6:34	When Steve types in Phil Spector he gets back a bunch of Hall & Oates. He was in a band called The Teddy Bears and they had a hit with To Know Him is to Love Him.
6:35	Song: Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
6:39	Steve and Buzz were slow dancing to that song like Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis to that song. Steve was Kelly McGillis but only because Buzz makes a better Tom Cruise. Steve also has an ample bosom.
6:44	Steve doesn't want to start WWIII here but weren't we supposed to have blues music for the rejoins today?
6:45	Pete and Buzz have to iron out a few details before they do the blues rejoins. Is one of those details that Pete forgot about it?
6:46	Buzz did forget about it but Pete did not and called Buzz about it this morning. By that time Buzz was 2 or 3 hours into looking for amps and didn't have time for that crap.
6:47	Pete should just download some songs from iTunes because it'll take Buzz forever to pick them on his own. He barely gets the music in here on time every Monday. He walks in at about 2:03 with a song that's on vinyl that he needs transferred.
6:48	Caller Ray wanted to fix one of Steve's stupid mistakes. First he wanted to say that he loves listening to Matt because it sounds like a young Steve. He sounds a little too much like Steve for his liking, he might have to sue him.
6:49	Unchained Melody is actually from Ghost. How could Steve get that wrong? First he got the Black & Tan thing wrong and now this. If someone is recording the show it'll be a collector's item.
6:50	Steve needs to set this right or it'll drive him nuts. Get ready to slow dance Buzz!
6:51	Song: You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin', Righteous Brothers
6:55	Let go Maverick! Steve has to read something!
6:56	Live read: Balance for Life