 |
 |
|
| 2:02
| It probably smells like a food court in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's house. Stan feels bad for Brad Pitt because Angelina can't stop adopting kids. |
| 2:03
| It doesn't seem like she spends a lot of time taking care of the kids, there are a lot of nannies. You see Brad Pitt lugging stuff through airports but that's just one day. The rest of the time they're probably filming movies. |
| 2:04
| Brad Pitt probably feels guilty about getting paid a lot for an easy job so he's putting up with all this adoption. It's like how George Clooney has to tell us about Africa. |
| 2:05
| Stan is guessing that Steve won't be buying tickets for the Ocean's 13 premier to benefit Darfur. Steve didn't even know Darfur was a place, he thought it was a type of Cadillac. |
| 2:06
| Steve did once try to help out a homeless guy. He got him cleaned up and got him a job. One thing he didn't consider was that maybe the guy needed rehab. At the time Steve probably needed it as well. |
| 2:07
| Steve is not donating money for the 2016 Olympics though. Maybe Angelina will come here and adopt some new babies, it would be like a 31 Flavors for her. |
| 2:08
| Steve would have no problem with Angelina adopting him but she'd have to start breast feeding. |
| 2:09
| Steve doesn't even know about this Ocean's 13 thing. Doesn't anyone remember how bad Ocean's 12 was? That was the one where they had the girl who Julia Roberts plays pretend she was Julia Roberts because he looks just like her. You know why? Because it's Julia Roberts! |
| 2:10
| Will Stan and Terry have every actor from Ocean's 13 on their show? Because it seems like they have every actor from every movie that comes out. Don't they ever want to talk to themselves? |
| 2:11
| If Stan and Terry just talk to themselves they start attacking. Steve prefers that though but his favorite part was when they were talking to Rick Schroeder with Garry Meier in the studio. |
| 2:12
| Garry was peeking his head in the studio window at the same time Rick Schroeder decided to call from the set of 24. Terry didn't want to have to call Rick back though. Terry is the biggest star f'er. |
| 2:13
| Who cares what Rick Schroeder has to say? Steve will watch him on 24 but he doesn't care what he has to say. Plus he probably gave the same interview on 10 different stations in Chicago that day. |
| 2:14
| Stan and Terry are like the black Eric and Kathy. Which one is which though? Steve's just joking, Stan and Terry do a good job with all of that. |
| 2:15
| Steve doesn't care about all the charity stuff though. He doesn't care about Darfur or Oprah's school in Africa or Bono and those red Razr phones. Celebrities just use charity to network with other celebrities. |
| 2:16
| Steve doesn't like Oprah but if one of his kids was in that school of hers he wouldn't be complaining. |
| 2:20
| It's Thursday which means Pete is here. He's very excited to be here as usual. Steve forwarded Pete an email from some guy who wanted to know about a new album from some obscure band. |
| 2:21
| The band is Kings of Leon but Pete doesn't have their new album. He never really liked their earlier albums though. Pete likes a few of their songs but he's never liked an entire album. That's important to Pete. |
| 2:22
| Pete tried to play a Kings of Leon song but Steve didn't like the vocals. Right now what whole albums is Pete really enjoying? |
| 2:23
| Pete really likes the entire Arcade Fire album. Pete's still planning to go to the Arcade Fire show with Steve. That's also on the day of the planned remote broadcast from Wrigleyville. |
| 2:24
| Pete is also very into Cloud Cult right now. Steve's aware of them because Pat is trying to get a job from someone who's brother is in the band. He wants Steve to talk to Norm Weiner about playing them on XRT. |
| 2:25
| Today's open was about Jesus and all of Pete's songs are about Jesus. Steve reads some of the tracks off the list. Does Pete see what his life is like? |
| 2:26
| Sometimes only the band has Jesus in the name so the song isn't really about Jesus is it? |
| 2:27
| Steve is still having problems with his car. He's taken it to the dealer and every time someone there takes it for a drive they can't hear the tailgate warming going off. |
| 2:28
| It might be about time for Steve to get a new car, and leave the old one at the dealer, crashed through the front window. |
| 2:29
| Steve took a limo in today and even Jeff Schwartz wouldn't talk to him. He was having a meeting with the Golden Tee people and asked if Steve wanted a game. |
| 2:30
| You would think that the people at he car dealer would just replace everything in Steve's car because they can't fix the problem. Instead they want to send a few guys from the dealership to drive in with Steve. |
| 2:31
| Steve even managed to figure out how to make the warning go off by jerking the wheel suddenly and the dealership guys can't even make it happen that way. |
| 2:32
| The dealership has probably had Steve's car for a total of 10 days and they still haven't figure out what's wrong. They even claimed that they drove his car around for 100 miles and didn't hear the warning go off. |
| 2:33
| First of all, that's a lie. It would take 2 hours to drive his car 100 miles. Plus, what are they putting 100 miles on his car for? |
| 2:34
| Steve likes to wear a seatbelt even if he's in a limo because he doesn't want to end up like one of the Detroit Red Wings. He must have short arms or something because he could barely reach the radio. |
| 2:35
| Steve tuned into XRT just in time to hear Terri Hemmert say the new Modest Mouse album was selling very well. Then she signed off and Frank E. Lee signed on with that Mr. Lee song he always plays. |
| 2:36
| His whole act is over in 10 seconds. He plays the song, then says something about the Lee-ettes, the girls who sing the song, and then he plays music for 3 hours and says who the artists are. |
| 2:37
| XRT is just a bunch of adults really geeked about music and concerts, sort of like Pete. Steve's excited about going to the Arcade Fire show just to see the young girls dancing to the music. |
| 2:38
| If Steve was on XRT he'd base his entire thing on going to concerts to see cute girls dancing. That's why Steve doesn't mind sitting in the back of the venue. |
| 2:39
| Pete's seats are not near Jim and his girlfriend. What if Steve sat by Jim's girlfriend and then him and Pete sat together and talked about the music? |
| 2:40
| Pete likes going to shows with Jim but since he has a girlfriend and he's happy he's not a very good wingman. Steve feels that nothing attracts success like success. |
| 2:45
| Pete just ran out of the studio as the break was ending. He panicked because he thought he forgot to put a music bed in after the drop. |
| 2:46
| Buzz is welcome to come in during all of this, or he can sit in his office. He probably just enjoys an hour off. |
| 2:47
| Steve would like to take this time to accuse Brendan of saving the good calls for his own show. The other night Steve was listening to Matt and Brendan talk to urban cougars. Meanwhile Steve has a girl on hold who wants to complain about her RV dealer. |
| 2:48
| Steve's car dealer believes that he has a problem but they don't know how to fix it. Can't they just fix everything instead of wasting Steve's time? |
| 2:49
| There are only 4 Porsche dealers in Chicago so Steve's choices are limited. It's also right near his house so it's convenient and normally they do a fine job with his car. |
| 2:50
| The Porsche dealer is right across from both a Mercedes and BMW dealer so there's a good chance Steve could just walk across and buy one of those instead. |
| 2:51
| All of the electronics in a Mercedes or a BMW are cutting edge but Porsche is way behind the curve. They just now added Bluetooth capability. |
| 2:52
| Maybe Steve should just take the train in everyday. He would get on the Burlington Metra if it ran more than once an hour after the rush. |
| 2:53
| Today Pete got on the train and as he settled in and opened up his Tribune, a guy started snapping at him. Pete tried to ignore him at first but he kept doing it so Pete finally looked up. Then the guy asked if he could borrow his sports section. |
| 2:54
| Pete gave him the sports section because he wasn't going to read it yet. He did keep looking over to see what the guy was doing. He did seem somewhat unkempt and then at one point he had the paper next to him, flipping it with one hand and picking his nose with the other. |
| 2:55
| Steve's going to talk to this woman on hold because it's not her fault that Brendan is saving all the good calls for himself and Matt. Maybe Steve should talk to the urban cougars and they should talk to the disgruntled RV owners. |
| 2:56
| Caller Elvie knows exactly what Steve is talking about with dealers trying to fix problems they can't find. Brendan didn't tell Steve that Elvie was a sex kitten, or at least she sounds like one. |
| 2:57
| Elvie has a 35 foot RV that she takes out the Chicagoland Speedway. She sounds perfect for Steve. He's looking to step out on his marriage with an African-American RV owner. |
| 2:58
| Steve loves RVs and boats. Everything is perfectly scaled and in the right place. |
| 2:59
| Elvie's RV has a slide-out living room but it can't be activated until the driver's seat is pulled completely up. When she got to the race with all her friends, the room would not slide out no matter how much she jammed up the driver's seat. |
| 3:00
| Of course when she brought the RV to the dealer, the guy who worked there was able to slide the room out without a problem. |
| 3:01
| Elvie was finally able to demonstrate to the dealership that the slide-out didn't work. Eventually they figured out that a mercury switch under the seat had broken. |
| 3:02
| She still hasn't gotten the switch replaced just because it got cold and there weren't any races to go to. |
| 3:03
| Steve finds it extremely hot that Elvie has an RV and she's hanging out at NASCAR races. This is way hotter than any urban cougars. |
| 3:04
| Steve takes back everything he said to Brendan, that was genius. He gave Steve the biggest break you can give a guy and he didn't even realize it. |
| 3:09
| RV's are pricey but they're quite nice. Would Buzz be interested in going in on a 35 footer with Steve? |
| 3:10
| Buzz is more interested in getting a boat than an RV. Steve's thinking of keeping his boat over here for part of the summer. That way he and Buzz can go out there after the show in their Speedos. |
| 3:11
| One of Pete's friends has a boat and he just learned about a yearly party somewhere out on the lake close to the shore. Several bars in the city have boats that they take out there and then other boats tie up to them and there's this huge party with scantily clad women. |
| 3:12
| Pete and his friend never tied up to the bar boats, they just sat off and a distance and gawking at the party. Most of the guys on those boats have abs and Pete doesn't feel like he can compete with that. |
| 3:13
| If Pete's the only guy at the party with a sense of humor it doesn't matter if he has abs or not. |
| 3:14
| Caller John wanted to let Steve know that the area Pete is talking about is called the Playpen and it's behind the breakwater near Oak Street. Some boating magazine did an article about it last year and the organizers were trying to see how many people they could get to attend. |
| 3:15
| This sounds perfect for Steve, even if it's just partial nudity. He and Buzz can go and then he'll drop Buzz off sort of near his place and he can swim home. |
| 3:16
| Steve can't believe Pete and his friends didn't pull up to this thing. Most of them were single and it's not a church outing is it? |
| 3:17
| Pete should get those Halloween costume abs and then as they get closer pull their shirts down so people think they have abs. That will give Pete the confidence to be funny. Pete doesn't think there's much talking going on. That's where the physical comedy comes in or maybe some magic. That's where Buzz would start juggling. He could get on his unicycle and juggle from bow to stern. |
| 3:22
| Pete should head out on the lake with Steve and Buzz this summer, they'll get him tied up. They have plenty of line to spare. |
| 3:23
| Caller Brandon is recommending a visit to Blarney Island in the Chain-O-Lakes. It's the best time you're going to have this summer, it's completely wild. |
| 3:24
| Steve's boat doesn't have a cabin but it doesn't have a small head that could be used for changing. There's no way to get your boat from Lake Michigan to the Chain-O-Lakes without a trailer. |
| 3:25
| Buzz should buy a boat and put it on the Chain-O-Lakes and Steve will keep his on the lake and they can switch off depending on how they're feeling that day. |
| 3:26
| Caller Julie has been listening since WDAI and she finally had the nerve to call in. She's like the female Pete, never tying up to the boats but always close to it. |
| 3:27
| Julie has been tied up to the Playpen several times and it's definitely something you want to do. Her only tip is to not show up with a group of guys, you need to bring something to the party. |
| 3:34
| Pete still has to play his song for Music Snob Corner. Today's list consists of songs that tie in with Jesus and Easter. Pete almost called an audible and tried to think of something that tied in with boating. He's really overthinking this whole thing, he's like Jeff Schwartz. He's Schwartzing it. |
| 3:35
| Let's just stick with the Jesus/Easter stuff. Pete was thinking Jews For Jesus Blues by Clem Snide. Pete always enjoys this time of year because the news will show footage of Cardinal George washing people's feet. Where does he do that? Is it at a bar? |
| 3:36
| Steve was thinking of going to a strip club tonight and washing some stripper's feet. Do they do that kind of stuff? |
| 3:37
| The other night Steve heard an ad on Matt and Brendan's for some strip club called Atlantis that sounded fantastic. Why doesn't Steve have ads like that? |
| 3:38
| Steve can't remember where the strip club is at but he's never heard the ad until the other night. According to Jim kid the ad doesn't say where the strip club is, just that it's in the Southwest suburbs. That's a bad commercial, how are you supposed to find the place. |
| 3:39
| Atlantis offers valet parking and fine dining and is located in Ford Heights, wherever that is. |
| 3:40
| Steve has been to a strip club/steakhouse in Florida called Scarlet's. Penthouse also just opened a steakhouse in New York. |
| 3:41
| Atlantis has VIP membership, why haven't Steve and Buzz been comped on that? They say they're trying to sell this station but there are two dirty old men sitting in the studio who don't have VIP passes. |
| 3:42
| Atlantis is open from 7:00 PM to 4:00 AM which is perfect for Steve and Buzz. Steve imagines all the strippers and club managers lined up listening to the show and then as soon as it ends they start up the stripping, just on the off chance that Steve and Buzz would come in one day. |
| 3:47
| Buzz doesn't have his script for the Comcast Sportsnet Report. |
| 3:48
| On the phone is Mark Schanowsky. Comcast actually has a Hawks home game on TV tonight and it's against the Red Wings so the place will be packed for a change. |
| 3:49
| Steve feels the only thing that can save hockey is HD and tonight the game will be in HD. |
| 3:50
| The Sox are playing right now and it's tied 3-3 in the 9th inning. Mark Buehrle took a line drive to his pitching arm. X-rays are negative but he might miss a start or two. |
| 3:51
| The Cubs finished up a three game series in Cincy with a loss. They're 1-2 to start the season. Jason Marquis went 6 innings and gave up 1 run but the bullpen blew it. |
| 3:52
| Lou PIniella was really squirming uncomfortably in the dugout, it could be a long season for him. |
| 3:53
| The bullpen was supposed to be a strong point for the Cubs this year but they're only three games in. |
| 3:54
| Steve saw in the paper today that Jay Mariotti has already written off the White Sox season after 2 games. |
| 3:55
| Hopefully the Sox can salvage one game against he Indians. Even though it's early in the season you'd like to see them win against division teams. Plus they've got the Twins coming in for a series next week. |
| 3:56
| The Bulls had a big win against he PIstons last night. Most people thought they'd lose because Ben Wallace was out but Kirk Hinrich came out looking like Kobe Bryant. |
| 3:57
| Tyrus Thomas was supposed to sit out as well but he came in and got under Richard Hamilton's skin. The Bulls beat them by 18 points so it definitely put some doubt in Detroit's mind. |
| 4:05
| Pete got the audio of the Sox winning the game up there very quickly, it just happened. |
| 4:06
| Steve already got an earful from Mary about AJ so he's expecting the same from Pete. AJ got hit by a pitch, but he did so by lowering his arm into the ball. The ball didn't even hit him but he sold it to the ump and that walked the winning run home. |
| 4:07
| Steve understands how people could hate AJ if they're not on his team. When he was on the Twins Steve thought about booking a flight to Minneapolis and killing him, that's how much he hated him. |
| 4:08
| Once AJ came to the White Sox Steve stopped hating him. It's hard to Pete to imagine that anyone could stop hating AJ though. |
| 4:09
| Live read: Arby's |
| 4:10
| We're still working on Music Snob Corner. Today's songs are about Jesus or the Easter bunny. Someone is missing the boat on a Jesus statue with bunny ears but that's just Steve. |
| 4:11
| Live read: Jews For Jesus Blues, Clem Snide |
| 4:14
| That was an interesting choice Pete made. It sounded like John Prine with a lobotomy. Steve never wants to hear that song again. Pete needs to pick another song from the list. How about Guster? They're popular but not too popular. |
| 4:15
| Pete was going to go with them but then Steve mentioned them earlier. He's Schwartzing it again. That guy is out of control. He's been consulting for Steve, although he hasn't been doing enough for what he's getting paid. He has all these crazy ideas like sending Chef Hans to Mars in a rocket full of meatballs because they don't have those there. |
| 4:16
| Last week Jeff told Steve about something that was going to happen yesterday, but he never heard from him. So today Steve tries to call him from the limo, because his car is in the shop. |
| 4:17
| Jeff was meeting with the Golden Tee people so he didn't have long to talk. Steve never got to ask him about the thing from yesterday because he had some new crazy idea. |
| 4:18
| Pete can attest to Jeff's love for the 24 Report. Jeff's craziness just plays into Pete's craziness though. |
| 4:19
| On the phone is Ed Farmer. Sox win! On his replay it looked like AJ was hit by a pitch. |
| 4:20
| Ed's daughter is doing much better. As Steve surely knows, whenever your kids get into a car and drive away your heart goes up into your throat and tell them to drive carefully, as if they wouldn't anyway. |
| 4:21
| Ed's daughter hat a cut on her head but she had to be medivacked to the UCLA hospital. She's out now though and walking around the house. |
| 4:22
| Steve has Ed's number and was going to call him but then realized that the last thing he needed was a call from Steve's cellphone. |
| 4:23
| The Sox did win today but yesterday was a real heartbreaker, especially the way it ended on that catch. |
| 4:24
| Ed has Steve Austin up in the booth yesterday. Ed told him that AJ wanted to wrestle him and immediately his disposition changed completely. |
| 4:25
| Dale Torborg, Jeff's son, is AJ's partner in the wrestling thing and right now he's the temporary strength and conditioning coach for the White Sox. |
| 4:26
| On Monday when Steve was at the game he saw Dale helping a Sox player stretch out beyond third base. It looked like it felt great but they should be doing that stuff in the locker rooms, not on the field in front of families or Steve. |
| 4:27
| The Twins are coming in tomorrow for a three game series. Hopefully the weather is a little warmer than it was today. |
| 4:28
| Steve will not be at the game tomorrow but he will be there on Saturday. |
| 4:30
| Pete has been in the studio for half the show today. It's not bothering Steve or Buzz at all. This has been enough time for Pete though. Buzz is halfway out the door already. |
| 4:35
| We seem to have lost Pete for good. During the entire last segment Pete was inching towards the door. Buzz noticed that his mic was off for the entire time Ed was on, but he was still laughing. |
| 4:36
| That was really irritating Steve too. Buzz almost reached over and turned it on. He really overthinks things way too much. If Pete is in the studio he should have his mic on, especially if he's laughing. |
| 4:37
| Maybe Pete should sit in a different chair. There's something about that chair that causes people to make bad choices. |
| 4:38
| If Steve didn't want Pete in the studio, he'd kick him out. This is the second day in a row that Pete has gotten the "on the air" lecture from Buzz so that means it's serious. |
| 4:39
| Yesterday Buzz pointed out that when Pete talks to Steve in the intercom it distracts him and it all ends up on the air anyway. Today Buzz almost swatted Pete, Abbate-style, when he didn't have his mic on. |
| 4:40
| Steve doesn't think it's right that that Abbate guy beat up the female bartender but she must have a mouth on her because her boyfriend had to tune her up over the weekend. Now she's saying she can't get any sleep but she should have thought of that before she released the surveillance video and then went on CNN. |
| 4:41
| On Sunday, Karolina Obrycka's boyfriend was arrested for kicking her. He was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery. How is that only a misdemeanor? What do you have to do to get charged with felony? |
| 4:42
| Buzz often grapples with the misdemeanor issue. He's probably just glad he only gets a misdemeanor right? |
| 4:43
| Caller Russ is a cop in Westchester. In order for something to be a felony it has to involve a weapon, has to have happened several times and/or has to be very severe. |
| 4:44
| A kicking is only a misdemeanor but you'd still be put in jail overnight which is no fun. |
| 4:46
| Steve and Buzz do not condone kicking of any kind, or slapping. Even if a guy kicks another guy it's not cool. That's what bitches do. |
| 4:47
| The only reason this videotape was released was for the benefit of the bartender. We haven't seen the video at the Jefferson Tap because the victim's lawyers are saving that for court. |
| 4:48
| If Buzz is ever in a fight he wants this woman on his side. |
| 4:55
| Before we do the headlines Steve wants to play Pete's other Jesus song. He hit the wrong CD player though, that's just a preview of what's coming up in the headlines. |
| 4:56
| Song: Jesus On The Radio (Daddy on the Phone), Guster |
| 4:59
| And that ends Music Snob Corner for today. We definitely got our money's worth. |
| 5:03
| The channel 7 news showed REO Speedwagon at the Wal-Mart last night and they had a pretty good crowd. They were in the children's section, ridin' the storm out, waitin' for the fall out. |
| 5:04
| Mark Giangreco was unhappy with this whole thing like the mighty have fallen. It also made him feel old but he seemed to be missing the point. If you want to sell physical copies of your CD you'll need to have a deal with a retailer like Wal-Mart. |
| 5:05
| Buzz read an article about how J-Lo refused to do an in-store appearance at a Hispanic department store chain to promote her new CD. As a result the stores won't carry her new CD and now it's tanking. |
| 5:06
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 5:07
| The British sailors held captive in Iran for the last week finally returned home, reunited with friends and family. |
| 5:08
| If Steve could go back to the coyote thing for a moment. The animal was actually sitting in a beverage cooler, which Steve hadn't noticed before. He was also sitting closer to the Sobe and not the Arizona iced tea, but Arizona is funnier to say. |
| 5:09
| Steve saw that in Britain the tabloids are breaking bad on the hostages. When you're a hostage you're not supposed to give anything up. These sailors couldn't have been more amenable. |
| 5:10
| Barack Obama has raised $25 million in the first stage of his presidential campaign. That's only $1 million short of Hillary Clinton. |
| 5:11
| Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has said he is a lifelong hunter, which is music to the ears of the NRA. In reality he owns guns but has only been hunting twice. |
| 5:12
| That doesn't really make you a lifelong hunter does it? Has he even killed anything? |
| 5:14
| J-Lo has refused to promote her CD in any Ritmo Latino music stores. So it's not a department store. |
| 5:15
| J-Lo did sign copies of her CD in an FYE in the Bronx but wouldn't appear in any Ritmo stores. It sounds like the Ritmo people just got mad that they missed out on some sort of deal with her. |
| 5:16
| J-Lo's new CD, Como Ama Una Mujer is her first sung completely in Spanish. So how is that forgetting her roots? |
| 5:17
| FYE is one of the last actual record stores around and they're usually in malls, so it makes sense for her to appear at one. |
| 5:18
| The president of Ritmo is named David Massry, that's not exactly a Hispanic name. How can he accuse her of forgetting her roots if he's not even Hispanic? |
| 5:26
| According to TMZ.com, J-Lo's new album is number 1 on Billboard's Latin charts and it's only the fifth Spanish language album to land in the top 10. |
| 5:27
| It's also highest selling Spanish-language debut album ever according to Epic Records. |
| 5:28
| Steve doesn't feel like buying the new J-Lo album but he will play some iTunes samples of it. |
| 5:29
| Buzz likes what he hears so far. Steve is going to gift the entire album to Buzz. |
| 5:30
| Whenever Buzz is driving around over the weekend he often tunes his radio to the Spanish station. |
| 5:31
| Steve's going to cancel the personal message to Buzz with the album gift. It sounds like a perfect CD for Buzz to put on when he and Aimee are driving to the Mexican restaurant. It'll really get him in the mood for molè sauce. |
| 5:32
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:34
| Buzz thinks that David Hochberg should put the entire story of his latest soap opera on his website. Because right now Buzz wants to know how it all ends. |
| 5:35
| David is usually very receptive to Steve and Buzz's ideas so he'll probably consider it. |
| 5:36
| Steve would like to read something that piqued his interest from Mark Czerniec's page. |
| 5:37
| On a recent Saturday morning at the New Life Christian Church in Morton, Illinois 250 men gathered for a breakfast of porn and pancakes. |
| 5:38
| The purpose of the breakfast is to get Christians and church officials to talk about pornography addiction. |
| 5:39
| Over the smell of maple syrup and sausage-which is a great name for a porno-guest speakers including a former porn producer talked to the men about how pornography negatively effects their lives. |
| 5:40
| Was Ed Silha the former porn producer? Because he used to run a webcam out of his condo. It failed because the girls were so good and the free preview was 5 minutes long. |
| 5:41
| If Steve was sitting at this breakfast hearing about porn it would just make him want to watch porn. |
| 5:42
| Buzz has been following the story of he suburban high school teacher who has pornography on his work computer. Steve hasn't seen anything about it, maybe it's an NBC exclusive. |
| 5:43
| The guy doesn't have kiddie porn on his computer, but there are photos of young girls. Where is Buzz going with this story? Maybe he needs to go to one of these breakfasts. |
| 5:44
| This has been an ongoing thing with the district superintendent trying to fire him but the school board president defending him. Buzz has been collecting all the tape and he might put it together for a special. |
| 5:45
| It seems like having porn on your work computer is enough to get you whack, if you'll pardon the expression. |
| 5:46
| Back to the porn and pancakes. A survey on the website XXXChurch.com found that 76% of Christians find themselves struggling with porn. Steve doesn't really struggle with porn although it might look like he does. |
| 5:47
| This guy in charge of XXXChurch.com can't stop talking about porn with people. |
| 5:48
| If they were showing porn and serving pancakes Steve and Buzz would definitely be interested in attending. |
| 5:49
| Steve is doing a series of lectures for the NFL and they will be having a pancake breakfast. They'll also be serving pigs in a blanket but that's more a way to get players to wear condoms. |
| 5:53
| On the phone is Mark Czerniec. He wanted to alert Steve to some more stuff about the porno ministry. Mark's welcome to stay on while Steve reads it. Buzz loves having him on. |
| 5:54
| We just got caught up in the middle of Buzz getting his freak on. For Mark it's all about channel 7 though. |
| 5:55
| Ministry founder Craig Gross attends adult industry conventions, handing out bibles that say "Jesus Loves Porn Stars". |
| 5:56
| XXXChurch.com also offers accountability software which sends reports to a couple of trusted friends about which websites people have visited. Steve's going to get right on that. |
| 5:57
| Steve spends all his time trying to cover up what websites he's been to. There's a deluxe version of the software available on the website for $19.99. |
| 5:58
| The deluxe version saves the website address of every questionable site you visit and sends it to your accountability partner. |
| 5:59
| When Steve goes to XXXChurch.com he gets something about music, wrestling and porn. There are different paths you can choose. |
| 6:00
| When is the MIami Porn Show? Steve would love to go down there and do a remote. |
| 6:01
| We haven't done Meat Talk today but Steve's going to say this whole conversation will cover it. Stryper is also playing one of these pancake breakfasts. Are they a Christian band or did they go Christian? |
| 6:08
| Caller Gil wanted to let Steve know that Stryper sucks and has always been a Christian band. They throw bibles into the crowd at their shows and instead of devil horns their fans make a cross with their fingers. |
| 6:09
| Steve saw an article about a couple that was trying to name their child Metallica. |
| 6:10
| A Swedish couple is trying to convince a judge that Metallica is a suitable name for their daughter. |
| 6:11
| The couple, Michael and Karolina Tomaro, have already baptized their daughter. Buzz thinks Tomaro is a fantastic last name. He'd love to be Buzz Tomaro. |
| 6:12
| There is another woman in Sweden using Metallica as a middle name. It would be sweet if the couple gave their daughter Metallica as a middle name and then something that started with a C as her first name. Then she'd be C. Metallica Tomaro. |
| 6:13
| Live read: My Chauffeur |
| 6:14
| Steve and Buzz met Ted at the Bears Fan Convention and he seems like a good guy. He also seems hauntingly familiar to Buzz. OK Stevie Nicks! |
| 6:20
| That Metallica documentary Some Kind of Monster is really good. There's a part where Lars buys a $2 million painting, it's very relatable. |
| 6:21
| The phones are ringing off the hook right now which means we're giving something away or Steve has made a huge mistake. |
| 6:22
| We're giving away tickets to see the Chicago Rush, not Rush the band. You're probably better off going to see the Chicago Rush than Rush the band at this point but Steve never liked Rush. |
| 6:23
| Steve would rather see a football game with some good-looking cheerleaders than 3 dorky Canadians in a band. |
| 6:24
| Time for some sports. The Cubs lost 5-2 in Cincinnati. Michael Barrett's passed ball allowed the go-ahead run to score. |
| 6:25
| The White Sox beat the Indians 4-3 today after AJ Pierzynski was hit by a pitch that walked the winning run in. Mark Buehrle took a line drive to his pitching arm and has a contusion on his wrist. |
| 6:30
| Song: Heavy Metal Drummer, Wilco |
| 6:34
| See what Steve did there? He tied it in with the Metallica thing. That's why they call Steve a DJ in his neighborhood. |
| 6:35
| News with Buzz |
| 6:36
| All of the British sailors detained by Iran have been returned to their homes, with their Iranian gift bags. That's standard with all hostage situations now. The Vietnamese did it too, John McCain still cherishes his gift bag. |
| 6:37
| As Steve mentioned earlier the British tabloids have turned on the hostages. Which one is Buzz's favorite because Steve would like to read from that one. |
| 6:38
| Steve can't find anything in any of the tabloids, maybe someone got to them. 4 British soldiers were killed in Iraq today so that probably put a damper on the breaking bad. |
| 6:39
| Steve is caught up in way too much British news right now. How does Buzz sift through it all? Steve's lucky he normally just has to deal with Canada. |
| 6:42
| The trial of former astronaut Lisa Nowak has been pushed back until the fall. Is that so it'll coincide with sweeps? |
| 6:44
| Coca-Cola is trying to stop the debut of an Italian film that shows Jesus Christ drinking a Coke. |
| 6:45
| The film depicts Jesus Christ if he lived and preached in the 21st century. That sounds like free advertising. |
| 6:46
| An agreement may be in the works for a Nequa Valley high school student who wants to wear a t-shirt with an anti-gay message to school. |
| 6:47
| The girl and her parents sued the school district last year after she was censored last year for wearing a shirt that said "Be Happy Not Gay." If you were her parents wouldn't you just tell the girl to not wear the shirt to school? You shouldn't sue the school. |
| 6:48
| The day before she wore the shirt students were allowed to wear shirts that supported tolerance for homosexuals. So the girl wants equal time. The family is probably religious. |
| 6:49
| Was this a school-sanctioned event because if it is Steve can sort of see the family's point. |
| 6:50
| Four Louisiana 5th graders were arrested yesterday for lewd behavior following reports of children having sex in a classroom. |
| 6:51
| Two of the 5th graders are accused of having sex in front of 17 students and 2 are accused of fondling. The other two probably got excited when the sex started. Kids grow up so fast these days. |
| 6:59
| That girl's t-shirt was meant to protest the Day of Silence, which bring's attention to GLBT bullying. What's GLBT? G is gay, L is lesbian. Steve can't think of anything appropriate for B and T though. |
| 7:00
| It seems like a Day of Silence just brings more attention and bullying. How about trying to fit in? |
| 7:01
| Steve went to play his theme because he forgot about Matt and Brendan. He's so used to going right into the Tom Leykis "I Hate Women" nightmare. |
| 7:02
| Steve went down to Matt and Brendan's office and the door was closed. He told them to keep it open and both of them have to have at least one foot on the floor. |
| 7:03
| Steve noticed that Brendan has the entire last hour of the show off. It doesn't seem like he'd be that tuckered out though. |
| 7:04
| Buzz had a great idea for Matt and Brendan's show tomorrow but there's a Bulls game so they'll save it for next week. Friday is pizza night in the Kilman household and this week Buzz's taste buds were called into question by Steve. |
| 7:05
| If Buzz gets a bad pizza next Friday he's bringing it down to Matt to prove that it doesn't taste right. Steve still thinks Buzz is the kind of person who could convince himself that the pizza tastes bad even if it doesn't. He is the guy who's been eating Domino's every week for the last 10 years. |
| 7:06
| Buzz's family is probably too scared to tell him the pizza tastes fine anyway. They just slowly back away from the pizza before he whisks it away and brings it down to Matt. |
