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| 2:01
| Stan and Terry are proposing a Roots drinking game, where you take a drink if you can't name a character. |
| 2:02
| With Terry you might want to make him drink if he can think of a character's name, otherwise he won't think of anything. |
| 2:03
| Terry vividly remembers Roots because there was a scene that showed topless women jumping off of the slave ship into the water. |
| 2:04
| Stan had an OK Easter but he was sick yesterday. Terry's wife bought him a baseball-themed Easter basket and now he feels bad for not getting her anything. |
| 2:05
| What do Stan and Terry talk about during the show because they should have covered all this already. |
| 2:06
| Steve didn't know that husbands and wives exchanged Easter baskets so Terry should be in the clear. |
| 2:07
| Steve doesn't mind talking about Roots but he won't get pulled into some sort of Don Imus conversation. Steve remembers the show being on but he wasn't entranced by it. |
| 2:08
| NBC didn't think anyone would watch Roots so they aired all 8 episodes right in a row. They invented the mini-series. |
| 2:09 | Roots didn't air 30 years ago today, does Stan know that? It aired 30 years ago in January, not April! Are Stan and Terry even black? |
| 2:14
| Song: Nice and Easy, Jimmy Burns |
| 2:19
| Buzz is sitting next to Jimmy Burns in Pete's studio as luck was have it. Buzz forgot to give him the fake musicians start time for the show so Jimmy was running a little late. |
| 2:20
| Steve told Buzz to just go in there and start jamming. Steve told him to just whip it out and he did, but it wasn't his harmonica. |
| 2:21
| Jimmy has a new CD out, Live at B.L.U.E.S. That's the bar up on Halsted owned by that little feller who plays guitar while standing on his head. |
| 2:22
| The hardest part of that has to be balancing on your head so you can play guitar. Playing a guitar upside-down doesn't seem that difficult. Now Jimi Hendrix playing the guitar behind his back is a little harder because it's backwards. It's still pointless though. |
| 2:23
| Buzz did not bring in one of his new amps today, he's just going acoustic. All that talk about amps and he's barebacking it?! Where's the Bassman amp with the pedal? |
| 2:24
| Song: Rock Me Mama, Jimmy Burns |
| 2:27
| Steve's favorite kind of Blues is the Delta Blues, but he's not from the Delta area. |
| 2:33
| Pete is very passive-aggressive with his choice of drops. He just played one from Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen ripping on the harmonica. |
| 2:34
| Pete can just do whatever he wants knowing that Steve will have to deal with it. He's completely untouchable in there, plus Steve doesn't know how to operate any of the stuff Pete does. |
| 2:35
| The good news is that Pete isn't going anywhere, unless the authorities figure out who the Rogers Park Rapist is. He says he's not leaving any evidence behind though. |
| 2:36
| Jimmy and his brother Eddie are playing at Legends this Friday, the 13th. They should pitch it as a couple of black cats crossing your path. |
| 2:37
| Song: I'm Ready, Jimmy Burns |
| 2:41
| Buzz will be playing with Jimmy Burns May 19th at the Harlem Avenue Lounge. |
| 2:46
| Jimmy was a little late today because he had some trouble parking. It's easy to find parking around here but you'll have to fork over $30. He actually found some street parking. |
| 2:47
| Steve found some street parking in the city over the weekend. He put in $1 in quarters which he got from the Starbuck's tip jar. He exchanged the quarters for another dollar bill and then put an extra one in there. |
| 2:48
| Steve's car was finally ready to be returned to him over the weekend without being fixed. Then the guy who was bringing it back to his house heard the tailgate warning go off and now they're obsessed with fixing it. |
| 2:49
| Steve is currently renting a car from Concierge Car Service Chicago. It's a really nice Mercedes, which is what Steve's going to get when he has his Porsche back. |
| 2:50
| The only thing that might stop Steve from getting a Mercedes is if Porsche pays for his rental because he's paying a fortune for it now. |
| 2:51
| The Porsche dealer used to have loaner cars that they'd give you when your car was in the shop but now they just offer to take you to Enterprise. |
| 2:52
| Steve can't be rolling up to work in a Ford Escort! |
| 2:53
| The Porsche guys never doubted there was something wrong with Steve's car, they just couldn't make it happen themselves. Eventually they just thought Steve was crazy and they wouldn't be wrong. |
| 2:54
| Then they ask Steve if it's the window in on the tailgate that is causing the problem and he tells them he doesn't even know how to open the window. Then they think he's stupid. |
| 2:55
| The Porsche guys always say stuff like people don't buy their cars for the windows or the tailgates, they buy them for the performance. A lot of Porsches don't even have cup holders. |
| 2:56
| Steve assumes that even though he's mentioning Concierge Car Service that he'll still have to pay for the car. That's OK though because this is the luxury lifestyle Steve has carved out for himself. They love it at the trailer park. |
| 2:57
| Steve wants the public to see him in a luxury automobile but it doesn't matter if he goes back to a trailer park with an outhouse. |
| 2:58
| There have been considerable advancements in the field of mobile homes. Steve misses the small ones but now they have double wides and triple wides. |
| 2:59
| Buzz spent about a year of his life living in a trailer on a chicken ranch. By that he means a ranch that had Chinese chickens, not a brothel. Buzz never saw the guy who owned the chickens because he had weird hours working at the radio station. |
| 3:00
| Buzz never understood how the guy made money with the chickens, but one day there was nothing left but feathers. An animal might have come in there and ate them all. |
| 3:01
| Maybe he was training the chickens to play Tic-Tac-Toe, that's a huge moneymaker. Steve has lost a lot of money playing chickens at Tic-Tac-Toe. There's a trick to it that isn't evident to Steve while he's playing though. |
| 3:07
| Steve likes to have a nice ride even when he's going to another city. Some people like to wander around in cabs which seems a lot cooler. It's probably much more reasonable priced as well. |
| 3:08
| Steve doesn't want to sound like some sort of snob, he knows that his car is a luxury. Tonight he'll go home to his trailer with the outhouse. They don't actually use the outhouse, it's just a reminder of where they came from. |
| 3:09
| The female British hostage is doing interviews now. Buzz probably knows this already since he covers Great Britain, but she did an interview with The Sun. If you don't get ahead of the tabloid curve they do the story without you and probably break bad on you. |
| 3:10
| Steve was only in London for a short time but The Sun seemed like the best paper because there were nude chicks on page 3 everyday. Why does the Sun-Times have that? We say we're civilized here but it doesn't seem like that's the case. |
| 3:11
| It's not full-frontal but it's everything else. If you go to The Sun's website you can see more and if you sign up you can see even more than that. Today they're featuring Ruth from Kent. She's missing her shirt, sadly it seems to have come off somewhere. |
| 3:12
| Freed British hostage Faye Turney feared she was being measure for her coffin by her captive. They could have just been measuring her for some Iranian get-up but she went coffin. |
| 3:13
| In Iran if they're measuring a hostage for a coffin it's probably from the neck down. Actually, they probably don't even have coffins, it's just a hole in the ground. They don't behead you on live TV in shame and then give you a great funeral. |
| 3:14
| The best kind of psychological torture is the kind that seems real. Steve's British accent always sounds very regal. |
| 3:15
| It does sound like they were measuring her for a coffin though. The sawing she was woken up by one morning was probably just her captors building a book shelf or something. |
| 3:16
| The cruelest thing they did to her was to separate her from her male colleagues and then tell her they had been sent home. They were probably all choking back laughter as they told her. |
| 3:21
| Faye spent her entire captivity in a 6 foot by 8 foot room. That's no bigger than Pete's studio and he's fine in there. |
| 3:22
| The cell had no furniture, nothing on the walls and a very small window. That's pretty standard cell construction. They don't have big windows because otherwise the captives would escape. |
| 3:23
| Turney passed the time playing imaginary knots and crosses (Tic-Tac-Toe) which seems really stupid. How do you keep track of where you put your mark? |
| 3:24
| Steve knows how he would spend his time alone. In a prison cell you have plenty of time to know when they're opening the doors because of all the locks they have to undo. |
| 3:31
| Faye Turney was being paid while she was held hostage but Britain's defense minister has since reversed his decision and the rest of the captives won't be paid. |
| 3:32
| Steve wants to finish this article but he and Buzz are also going to be measured for tuxes as well. Plus Pat Boyle is calling in but not until after the Cubs game is over. Steve doesn't know what the score of the game is though. |
| 3:33
| Brendan says the score is 3-2 but at the exact same time Pete told Steve, in his headphones, that it was all tied up. Pete promised Buzz on Friday that he wouldn't talk into the intercom any more but he's still doing it. |
| 3:34
| Normally if Steve wants Brendan's input on something he'll ask him directly. The rest of the time he wants an answer from Pete or Mary or someone else who knows what's going on. Not that Brendan doesn't know his Cubs but he doesn't have a TV out there. |
| 3:35
| Steve left off with Turney telling her interviewer that her captors were asking her the same questions every night. That's what an interrogation is though. |
| 3:36
| If Steve had a hostage he wouldn't let them know what time it was, it'd be like Vegas. |
| 3:37
| Her captors asked her things like what their ports of call were, what kind of defense mechanisms their boats had and what the U.S. was doing. Steve can only assume she didn't know the answer otherwise she would have given it up right away. |
| 3:38
| Steve just changed his British accent midway through this thing. He was thrown off when some male soldiers were thrown into the mix. |
| 3:40
| Turney finally realized she wasn't alone when her captors threw one of her shipmates into her cell. |
| 3:41
| That sounds like the makings of a good porno movie. |
| 3:43
| Steve heard on the news today that Turney was afraid of being raped, but that's not in this article. |
| 3:44
| If you're a girl being held captive by a bunch of dudes you probably think about that happening. |
| 3:52
| Steve and Buzz are going to get fitted for tuxes now. Buzz doesn't need a tux but Steve figured he'd like a free one. |
| 3:53
| Joining Steve is Scott Baskin from Mark Shale. There are 8 stores and he owns all of them. That's pretty impressive. He's done way better for himself than Steve and Buzz have done for themselves. |
| 3:54
| There's a big Mark Shale warehouse out by Steve. That's also where the corporate offices are. |
| 3:55
| Scott's wife Jill emailed Steve after he was talking about needing a tux for the Escoffier dinner. Steve doesn't even want to talk about the dinner any more because he's afraid he's going to make a lot of enemies within the society. |
| 3:56
| Steve got an email from Hans Jr. saying his dad would probably kill himself if he didn't go to the dinner. He would slaughter himself and then dry-age the meat. |
| 3:57
| Scott brought along Brian, the manager of the Michigan Avenue store at 900 N. Michigan and Henry Padilla, their tailor. Buzz only knows that building as the Bloomingdale's Building but Scott calls it the Mark Shale building. Now Steve and Buzz are probably going to pay triple for these tuxes. |
| 3:58
| Henry will do a few measurements on Steve and Buzz, then they'll try on a few jackets and pick out fabrics. |
| 3:59
| That sounds like too much stuff for Steve, he's just going to take his pants off. Buzz really enjoys picking out the fabrics. This coming from a guy who wears the same thing everyday. |
| 4:00
| Steve should probably go first that way Buzz can be measured during the break. He's refusing to announce his measurements on the air. |
| 4:01
| Steve has a huge over arm measurement, he's ripped. |
| 4:02
| Henry has measured Tom Thayer for a suit. He probably has the same shoulder measurement as Steve but it starts changing once you get below that. |
| 4:03
| Buzz is already planning out where to wear his tux. Steve's wearing his to the dinner and then he's going to take on a job as a casino host. |
| 4:04
| Where is Buzz going to wear his tux, the Mexican restaurant he goes to every Saturday? |
| 4:10
| It's Blue Monday and the guys from Mark Shale are here measuring Steve and Buzz for tuxes. |
| 4:11
| Steve was working a 48 waist but he went up to 49 just for the added comfort. Steve's wearing a 44 waist now but it has an elastic waistband. |
| 4:12
| Steve has no idea about style for tuxedos, he just wants something that he'll be able to wear for a while. |
| 4:13
| Steve doesn't even know how to tie a tie and he doesn't want to learn. He's managed to get through life without knowing and he's OK with that. He can barely tie his shoes. |
| 4:14
| If Steve's going to be sitting down during the dinner he should probably go with a 49 waist. They won't have the dais for him to lay on and eat like he's Caligula. |
| 4:15
| Jesse White will probably want Steve to tumble so he'll need something a little looser. Steve's Jesse White is right on, if there's ever a roast for him they'll hire him to host it. |
| 4:16
| The measuring was very professional though, even when Steve got down to his knickers. Henry kept telling him he didn't have to take his pants off but he's more comfortable that way. |
| 4:17
| Buzz doesn't know how he missed Steve in his knickers. Steve told him twice and Buzz refused to look up. He must have been viewing it from his under-the-table camera. |
| 4:18
| Steve would like to go salt & pepper with Buzz for the tuxes, Steve in black and Buzz in white. |
| 4:19
| Steve should probably get a new suit one of these days also. If he's going to get dressed up he wants to look good because he can look dorky just wearing his Garanimals. |
| 4:20
| If they can't have his tux done in time for the April 22nd dinner that could be Steve's out. They're Mark Shale though, they get it done quickly. What happened to Mark Shale, did Scott kill him or something? |
| 4:21
| Mark Shale isn't a real guy, those are the names of Scott's father and uncle. He also has three brothers who are in the business with him. |
| 4:26
| On the phone is Pat Boyle from Comcast Sportsnet. He's in the newsroom, not at Wrigley Field. |
| 4:27
| Steve watched the Sox game on WGN yesterday and then flipped over to Comcast looking for some post-game. Instead it was all about the Cubs. |
| 4:28
| They didn't throw in a single thing about the Sox. That's how they do it at Comcast though. If the Sox were on Comcast the whole post-game would be about the Sox. Steve would like a more balanced approach. |
| 4:29
| After all that Steve watched the Bulls game on Comcast. He's not trying to criticize though. |
| 4:30
| The Cubs lost 5-3 to the Astros. Bob Howry came in and gave up a 2-run home run with 2 outs and a full count. Howry thought he had a third strike but it was a ball so he got a little upset. |
| 4:31
| You can't get upset about stuff like that, look at John Danks yesterday. Steve also takes back everything he said about Javier Vazquez, at least until his next start. He can do that as a season ticket holder though. |
| 4:32
| Even though the Sox only one once over the weekend it seems like they're back on track. It seems like Ozzie is looking forward to the West Coast road trip, just to get out of this weather. |
| 4:33
| The Sox have not had a lot of success in Oakland though, they're 4-14 in the last few years. |
| 4:34
| The Cubs have also surprised people so far. There's a good chance that they'll win their division, but the NL Central isn't as tough as the AL Central. |
| 4:35
| The AL Central is just ridiculous, especially Johann Santana. The Sox basically admitted yesterday that they weren't going to get a hit off of him. |
| 4:36
| Tiger Woods has a couple of nice meltdowns yesterday during the Masters. He banged one of his clubs against a tree and bent it. |
| 4:37
| The weirdest thing about golf is when they interview the golfers after they've won. It's not a team sport and in a lot of cases they don't see what the other guy is doing, so all they can do is talk about themselves. |
| 4:38
| Zach Johnson, who won the Masters, said he didn't look at the leader board until the 17th hole. It's probably safe to assume that Tiger was doing well though. |
| 4:39
| Buzz got all measured up during the last break for his tux. Buzz normally wears a 33 but the dress pants sizes run a little bigger. |
| 4:40
| Steve is wearing a 44 waist right now but the tux pants are going to be 49. Buzz buys a 32 or 33 waist and thinks that's the size of his waist but in reality it's a 36. |
| 4:41
| Buzz thinks it's some sort of conspiracy with the pants manufacturers. But a Mark Shale wants to get you the right size, these aren't just a pair of Dockers you can throw away. |
| 4:42
| Buzz feels really good about having his own tux. When your own tux in your closet that's an accomplishment. Will they at least be matching tuxes so Steve and Buzz can be like The Temptations? |
| 4:43
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 4:44
| Steve's back on Balance for Life and not just because of his waist measurement. |
| 4:51
| Steve would like to hear the audio of Zach Johnson saying he's a good putter but the drop of Greg Norman talking about the U.S. Open, even though they're at The Masters. |
| 4:52
| It's like all those reporters who keep asking Rex Grossman about all the criticism he gets. Fans should have a way to select which reporters talk to the players on the teams they root for. |
| 4:53
| Do you want a reporter who complains about the White Sox press box to be talking to the players? |
| 4:54
| Buzz still has headlines to do but Steve has a song he wanted to play about tuxedos. |
| 4:55
| Steve has a wedding coming up in December so he'll probably be able to wear his tux there, although he probably has to have the same one as everyone in the wedding party right? Steve's not sure who's paying for the tuxes but they might have to go with a Gingiss or something. |
| 4:56
| Steve might get fitted with every one else at Gingiss and then wear his Mark Shale tux to the wedding, stealing Pat's thunder. |
| 4:57
| Song: Sharp Dressed Man, ZZ Top |
| 5:00
| Maybe Steve is an idiot but he still likes ZZ Top. You can't go wrong with that sound. |
| 5:04
| Buzz just shocked himself touching the metal frame of the window. Be careful over there Tesla! |
| 5:05
| Steve is currently forwarding all the complaint emails about the streaming audio of the show to Drew and John Valenta. The same thing has been going on for a while now. |
| 5:06
| One of the problems is that when Steve forwards this stuff to an engineer, they waste a lot of time trying to figure out if they're talking about the stream or the podcast. It couldn't be more obvious that it's about the stream but it's a good time waster. |
| 5:07
| Drew comes in to defend himself. He has called people at their work place to see what kind of problem they're having. |
| 5:08
| At some point WCKG might have to start doing the streaming in-house because whoever CBS hired to do it is doing a crappy job. |
| 5:09
| This show is one of the most popular for streaming audio anywhere and it's been really difficult to listen to. Still, people will listen to Steve talking about Atlantis while a Grizzly Jack's ad plays at the same time for two straight hours. |
| 5:10
| There have also been complaints about the signal in the Northwest Suburbs. If people in Buffalo Grove can't hear the station then we should buy whatever other station is interfering with our signal. |
| 5:11
| Does CBS need Steve for the Imus thing? Actually Steve doesn't want to talk about it with Drew because he's Say the Wrong Thing Guy. |
| 5:12
| Drew didn't want to break the 20 minute rule but he had to talk about Mark Shale. If you buy something there they give you lifetime alterations. Drew's not getting any shorter but he might get fatter. |
| 5:13
| Drew should have come down here just to keep the sales people away from Scott Baskin. There was a line of 50 people waiting to talk to him. The sales people are like beggars in Mexico selling Chiclets. They should just get the aircheck and send it to their agency instead of cornering the guy and refusing to let him leave until he buys some oranges. |
| 5:14
| Steve is sorry for interrupting the headlines but Drew just came down. This is the time of day when he's looking for a donut so he comes down here. |
| 5:15
| Speaking of that, why isn't Steve being paid to eat a donut any more? |
| 5:17
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 5:18
| Nothing Don Imus says is going to be enough for an Al Sharpton. What's with trying to get people fired anyway? What's that going to accomplish? Meanwhile rappers can say whatever they want. |
| 5:19
| Imus apologized, what more can he do? Steve wouldn't have even apologized. Once you buy into all of it there's no turning back, just look at Michael Richards. |
| 5:20
| And now Jesse Jackson is down here protesting at NBC because MSNBC airs Imus' show. Having heard the audio, Buzz doesn't understand how a professional broadcaster could have said what he said. |
| 5:21
| Steve wouldn't have said that either but there were other people in the room with him and they were all talking about it. It seems like he was trying to compare two women's basketball teams, one being a little more "street" and scaring the other team. |
| 5:22
| Steve doesn't think Imus deserves to be fired but if he's gone then technically he and Buzz would move up one rung on the ladder. |
| 5:23
| Tomorrow we should find out who the father is of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Howard Stern has said if the kid is Larry Birkhead's, he will give her to him. |
| 5:24
| A bench warrant has been issued for Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. This is the perfect opportunity for Steve and Buzz to take over the franchise. They'll have no problem adhering to age guidelines because they're old. They don't need to be messing with underage girls. |
| 5:25
| The Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double feature Grindhouse all but bombed at the box office over the weekend, taking in $11 million, well under the $20 million projection. |
| 5:31
| During the break Buzz was telling Steve that when the Easter bunny comes, the other bunnies in the house, like the stuffed ones in her room, go down and visit him. That of course totally freaked Piper out. That sounds like the plot of a horror movie. Plus she's seen the big giant bunny suit that Buzz has. |
| 5:33
| Steve just put a peanut in his mouth which is sort of bad timing. He didn't get a donut, he's probably being punished. |
| 5:34
| The peanut didn't really hit the spot the way a donut would. A peanut would be OK if there was a donut underneath it. |
| 5:35
| Live read: My Chauffeur |
| 5:36
| A limo is a good thing to have if you're going on a pub crawl with a bunch of people. That way you don't have to worry about killing anyone, or yourself. |
| 5:37
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:38
| Matt and Brendan were on David's show on Saturday at some condo conversion on the Northside. |
| 5:45
| MSNBC is suspending the Don Imus simulcast for two weeks. It should say in parentheses to let things cool off. He'll still be doing his radio show but NBC just doesn't want protestors in front of their building. |
| 5:46
| Steve wants Buzz to start wearing his hair like Don Imus. Or maybe he'll start doing it. That's the sweetest radio hair ever. |
| 5:47
| If Steve were Al Sharpton he'd be more upset that Don Imus had a nice studio than he did. Steve would also like Buzz to wear the cowboy hat when they're on the air. How many times does he have to tell him that? |
| 5:48
| It's creepy how many people Sharpton has in the studio with him. They're all just staring at him. |
| 5:49
| Steve probably shouldn't replay Don Imus' comment. They just had it on the ABC network news though. |
| 5:50
| Steve will let the one that Al Sharpton said get by though. He brought his daughter into the studio and asked Imus if he would describe her the way he described the women on the Rutgers basketball team. |
| 5:51
| If it were Steve he would have said that he wasn't talking about Temple University, where Sharpton's daughter went to school. |
| 5:52
| That Don Imus is pretty hardcore though, he told Sharpton's producer during a break that he wasn't taking any BS from anyone. |
| 5:53
| You can't play into people's hands like this though. It's already been said on ABC twice today and nothing is going to happen to them. |
| 5:54
| Imus was being a little more malicious when he said what he said, but if you're not supposed to say it then Al Sharpton should get in trouble too. |
| 5:55
| Buzz doesn't think that Imus said anything illegal though. Did he forget to take his compliance course because according to that this could be a finable offense. |
| 5:56
| Right now the main concern is blasphemy and racial language. If it's so egregious and it's being repeated over and over again on the news isn't that just as bad? |
| 5:57
| Someone can complain to the FCC is they hear the n-word on a radio station or on TV. Maybe nothing will happen but something could happen. |
| 5:58
| Buzz really didn't take his refresher course did he? ABC won't get in trouble no matter how many times they air what Imus said which is Steve's point. |
| 5:59
| Steve's not sure what he and Buzz are arguing about but it's just like being at home. |
| 6:00
| Steve's just not comfortable putting that comment on the air even if it was on ABC. He did let one get by from Sharpton though. |
| 6:04
| Tyrone has some traffic to do and he doesn't want to sit around hearing a couple of white boys talking about all this Don Imus stuff. |
| 6:05
| There's a stalled semi on LaGrange causing I-55 southbound ramps to be backed up. |
| 6:06
| Tyrone wanted to say that it's not right what Don Imus said. Those girls are just trying to play basketball and go to college, he shouldn't call them hos. If he wants to call someone a ho, he should find a ho. |
| 6:07
| Tyrone has Don Imus in the choptater right now. He's taking him over to Jesse's for dinner. You know what they're having? Don Imus! |
| 6:13
| The reason CNN gacked Soledad and Miles O'Brien is because Don Imus' ratings were so good. |
| 6:14
| All Steve is trying to say about Imus is that he should be able to apologize for what he said. If you're on the air 25 hours a week sometimes you're going to say something you don't mean to say. |
| 6:15
| The way things are now though Imus could get chewed up and spit out and never heard from again. |
| 6:16
| Don Imus is a good broadcaster so you hate to see someone like him get taken down for one slip-up. |
| 6:17
| Imus faced the music too, he was sitting in Al Sharpton's studio being stared down by all those people he brought in there. |
| 6:18
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 6:20
| Steve has some sports to do. The Cubs lost their home opener to the Astros 5-3 today with Bob Howry taking the loss. |
| 6:21
| Jose Contreras looks to rebound from his bad opening day start against the A's tonight in Oakland. |
| 6:22
| Ozzie said yesterday that the Sox new game plan for Johann Santana is to poison him with his mom's cooking. Ozzie was being pretty damn funny but no one was laughing. |
| 6:24
| Steve's not an athlete but he can see why they get a little fed up with the autograph seekers. |
| 6:25
| When Steve was at the Bears Fan Convention this guy came up to him with two identical Disco Demolition photos to sign. Steve jokingly asked if the guy was going to sell the other one, but then he went back to a table with a bunch of other guys who had about 100 different things autographed and they were cataloging them, probably to be sold off at a later date. |
| 6:26
| Then a few people asked him to sign a baseball or a football, and then a bunch of other people came up and started handing him footballs even though it seemed like they didn't know who he was. |
| 6:34
| Earlier Pete said he had a good version of Devin Hester singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame but by good he meant really bad. It had a Ditka feel to it. |
| 6:35
| News with Buzz |
| 6:36
| The AP is now referring to Don Imus as a shock jock. Does Buzz understand why Steve gets his hackles up over this stuff? |
| 6:37
| Buzz just played some Dennis Miller audio about Imus where he said the same thing Steve did. Why isn't Buzz playing a phone call from Steve? |
| 6:38
| Dennis Miller also has a radio show, apparently everyone has one these days. |
| 6:41
| Steve happened to catch the end of Oprah the other day, because that's the only part he can sit through, and she was trying to quote Gandhi but couldn't remember how it went. |
| 6:42
| Steve can't remember what the topic was but it's probably something heavy that will change his life forever. |
| 6:47
| If you're going to quote Gandhi you really should know what you're saying. |
| 6:48
| Back to the news with Buzz |
| 6:49
| The U.S. had that al Sadr feller and about 150,000 of his followers all in one place and they didn't do anything about it. How are we ever going to win this war? |
| 6:50
| KFC is upping the ante to get American Idol contestant Sanjaya to join their marketing campaign. They're also offering him $5,000 and a spot in an upcoming commercial if he sports a bowl haircut. |
| 6:51
| Is it too late for Steve to get in on the paternity test action for Anna Nicole Smith's baby? |
| 6:52
| Steve would like to throw his whatever into the ring even though he had a vasectomy. That's how fertile he is. |
| 6:53
| NBC has cancelled Andy Barker P.I. so Andy Richter is once again out of a job. |
| 6:54
| That was one of the worst shows Steve has ever seen. Buzz can't believe it's bad because Andy Richter seems so funny. If Buzz could make it through an entire episode he'd see what Steve is talking about. |
| 7:00
| Buzz has one story left. Delaware could be the latest state to ban internet hunting. That's where the owner of a herd of game mounts a high-powered rifle on a tripod and then lets users log onto a website to control the gun. |
| 7:01
| Matt and Brendan have a lot on tap tonight although it doesn't sound like it. Steve feels uncomfortable when Brendan calls him by his first name. Normally he doesn't address him at all. |
| 7:02
| Steve would prefer that Brendan not say his name, he should just cast his eyes down to the ground. Maybe Steve has just never heard him say his name when it's well-amplified. |
| 7:03
| Brendan can call Steve dad if he wants. Sometimes when he gets really drunk he tells Matt that he feels like the fourth Dahl boy. |
| 7:04
| That's not too far off since Steve knew Brendan's mom when she was younger. That whole story makes Buzz very uncomfortable. Brendan was 3 or 4 when his mom appeared on an episode of It's Too Early. She never mentioned she had a kid though. |
