 |
 |
|
| 2:03
| Terry's not going to be Mr. Bring Down about the Sox' lost trip across the border. He's confident heads will roll though. |
| 2:04
| Heads already did roll, Aardsma and McDougal were sent down. Steve hates McDougal but he could live with Aardsma. McDougal looks like Kenny Loggins with AIDS and Steve doesn't need that on the mound. |
| 2:05
| Stan wants to know what happened to Shingo? He's probably back in Japan making gay porn. |
| 2:06
| Terry is going to the Sox game with Ron Lewis tonight. Who drives in that situation, Ron or Terry? Steve sees Terry as the bitch in that relationship. |
| 2:07
| Steve watched the Yankees/Red Sox game last night. The Yankees really suck! A-Rod is still the man though. People were heckling him endlessly but what does he care, he's a billionaire! |
| 2:08
| And next time the Yankees face the Blue Jays A-Rod's probably going to get thrown at. |
| 2:09
| It almost seems like Terry is refusing to talk about the White Sox. He's got the Sox website up on his computer and his Sox hat on. Terry and Mac started in on the Sox at 10:30 this morning and Stan had to leave the room. |
| 2:10
| Terry was at the Cubs game on Saturday. So basically he'll just go wherever there's a free ticket. Angel Pagan was out by 30 feet, Lou shouldn't have gone out there like that. |
| 2:11
| Terry's take on the Lou Piniella thing doesn't really leave the door open for any sort of joke at all. Steve just liked seeing that old school style of managerial arguing. |
| 2:12
| Lou's only mistake was kicking dirt right towards the ump's feet. On one of those kicks he accidentally made contact and that was it. |
| 2:13
| It was a very exciting weekend for baseball in Chicago between Zambrano and Barrett on Friday and then Lou on Saturday. Chicago's getting national attention now but it's because our baseball teams are so bad. |
| 2:14
| Ozzie got ejected yesterday but that didn't fire the team up at all. Ozzie did say today that if the Sox had been home over the weekend there would have been a lot of people packing their bags. |
| 2:15
| It's still good to see that Aardsma and McDougal were sent packing but the team has not been playing well. That doesn't mean Steve's going to get his money back though. |
| 2:16
| Before the conversation continues, Steve would like to establish some sort of out cue to hit the break because it's been sloppy. When Steve says "alright guys, see ya later" then Stan can hit the break. Steve gets that it cuts into Stan's lastworditis but it gets sloppy with all the goodbyes. |
| 2:17
| Steve's still not fired up though after the 20 minute baseball talk with crazy baseball guy. At some point even Stan realized this was sounding way too much like sports radio. |
| 2:18
| Stan is glad that it rained because he just fertilized his lawn. One of Steve's neighbors just overfertilized his lawn and he killed all the grass. |
| 2:19
| It seems like by Steve you don't really have to do much and your lawn will be fine. Steve doesn't do any landscaping to his lawn at all. He did put some chemicals in his pool yesterday because the water was getting cloudy. |
| 2:20
| When Steve was a kid he always ended up taking care of neighbor's pools. Usually they were on vacation so there was never anyone back there hanging out. |
| 2:21
| Steve did have the house keys so he was able to go inside and go through their underwear drawers. Never give Steve the keys to your house. |
| 2:29
| Song: Losing Control, Lewis Hutcheson |
| 2:33
| That's a relatively obscure blues song, but very appropriate. One good thing about the blues is no matter how obscure the song/artist is, it's still sounds familiar. Buzz thought Steve was going to say "it all sounds the same." |
| 2:34
| Steve heard a delightful blues song on his way in today on our sister station XRT. Normally Steve listens to Nerds Radio on his way in but when he hits the underground system of streets he has to switch to FM because AM doesn't work. |
| 2:35
| By the way, Tank Johnson got an 8 game suspension which Steve feels is 4 more than he deserves. Why would you want to take a guy who appears to be trying to rehabilitate himself and take away his income? |
| 2:36
| Roger Goodell is just trying to lay down the law and look like a tough guy, as opposed to a guy who was handpicked by the guy who was handpicked by the previous guy. |
| 2:37
| Back in the day with Paul Tagliabue, which looks great on a football, if you were convicted and did time you got a 4-game suspension. |
| 2:38
| Steve doesn't think any football player who does jail time should get a suspension. He wants his football players to be criminals, doing time, knocking chicks up out of wedlock. |
| 2:39
| If Tank Johnson is as serious about changing his life and meets certain conditions set by the league the suspension could be reduced to 6 games. It doesn't say what those conditions are but it probably includes not being arrested, having any guns or knocking up any chicks out of wedlock. |
| 2:40
| He'll probably have to do some community service too, maybe hand out some turkeys around the holidays, or maybe some beef sticks and Honey Buns. |
| 2:41
| Two months in Cook County seems like more than enough punishment. All he was doing was shooting guns off his porch into his backyard. They've got roller coasters up in Gurnee, that's scary as hell, so why can't a guy fire off a few rounds into his swing set? |
| 2:46
| They should count pre-season games in any suspension. If you're a Bears season ticket holder you have to pay extra for the pre-season games. Does Tank get to play in the pre-season games? Does he even get to practice with the team? |
| 2:47
| The suspension could be reduced to 6 games if Tank has no more run-ins with the law and undergoes counseling. Two months in Cook County seems like counseling to Steve though. |
| 2:48
| Steve mentioned he heard a blues song on XRT, The Exert, when he was coming in. Certain stations tell you what they're playing on your radio but XRT doesn't change it fast enough. |
| 2:49
| The display on Steve's car stereo said it was Taj Mahal with Smith. There could have been another word but it didn't change fast enough and Steve couldn't spend that much time looking at it since he was driving. |
| 2:50
| If radio stations are going to be telling you things on those displays they're going to have to come up with a better system. Even WCKG's display doesn't change fast enough. |
| 2:51
| Caller Jack wanted to let Steve know that the XRT playlist is posted on their website. Steve can't get that involved in it though. |
| 2:52
| Jack thinks they should put the radio display right near the odometer on your car like a fighter jet. |
| 2:53
| Jack doesn't have a new car radio with a digital read-out, just the old digital tuner. Right now it says FM 2 105.9. We're on bank 2 of his pre-sets? Steve doesn't like that at all, he's a bank 1 guy. |
| 2:54
| Caller Chris wanted to let Steve know that the song he heard was Strut by Taj Mahal with Jimmy Smith. |
| 2:55
| Steve was just going to steal that info from Chris but he decided to put him on the air instead. |
| 2:56
| Steve wants to know how WXRT can podcast music but we can't. Steve actually knows why, it's because we're led by one of those most ineffective leaders of our time. He's not talking about George W. Bush either, he's talking about Drew W. Hayes. "DON'T SAY THAT!" |
| 2:57
| Caller Lisa wanted to let Steve know that 105.9 WCKG Chicago's FM Talk Station, in case you didn't know your radio was on FM, people were talking or that you were in Chicago. Then it says Steve on one line and Dahl on the next. |
| 2:58
| Steve feels like his name should be before Chicago's FM Talk. By the time it gets to Steve's name people will be bored. |
| 2:59
| It would be really could if the display had everything Steve was saying. That would really cause an accident. |
| 3:00
| One of Steve's favorite bits he used to do is to turn the FM-stereo switch on and off. At the time it was in the studio. |
| 3:01
| The reason we're getting such good calls now is because the phone lines aren't clogged with people trying to win tickets. |
| 3:02
| Steve would like to formally protest that we shouldn't have to do that every break. Buzz would like to formally protest that he doesn't want his voice to be used as the sounder to launch the contest. |
| 3:03
| We should have separate lines for contests and for regular callers. Most of the information Steve gets comes from callers but every break the lines are clogged up with people trying to win tickets then hanging up because they didn't win. |
| 3:04
| There's really no other way to give the tickets away though. In a perfect world the tickets would be available at places that sell Budweiser Select or various other advertisers. |
| 3:05
| Steve's been saying we should have a separate contest line for a long time now but as you can imagine that doesn't happen. |
| 3:06
| Of course we are being lead by the most inept leader of our time. If you don't believe Steve, just listen on the weekends. He almost drove into the lake just to make it stop. |
| 3:07
| Caller Terry is a long time listener and he's also about the same age as Steve. He wanted to correct Steve, he'll be 69 the next time the cicadas come. |
| 3:08
| Steve doesn't mind being corrected but he is a little annoyed that he's on the speakerphone. |
| 3:09
| Terry actually had Steve on speaker right at the beginning but then he transitioned flawlessly. Terry would never have Steve on speaker. |
| 3:10
| The other day Steve was talking to Patrick and he had him on speakerphone. Patrick never told him that his fiance was in the car and they were involved in some wedding talk. |
| 3:11
| Not that Steve was going to break bad but he could have had any moment since they were talking about the wedding. Steve likes to ride Patrick because since he doesn't have a job he's all about planning the wedding. |
| 3:12
| Live read: Invent Help |
| 3:13
| Buzz has actually invented something, although Steve can't say what it is on the air. He might want one or two from Buzz but can he get them in black? |
| 3:17
| Is that Buzz on harmonica in the rejoin music? It definitely sounds like his style. |
| 3:18
| Buzz got to play with Little Arthur Duncan over the weekend. Is he the inventor of the Duncan yo-yo? |
| 3:19
| Little Arthur went about 10 years without performing because he was missing his two front teeth. Do you really need teeth to play harmonica? |
| 3:20
| Buzz is losing a lot of blues friends because they're all very old and are dying off. The young blues guys don't get as famous because there aren't as many clubs. |
| 3:21
| Also, the blues have been hijacked by just about everyone. Steve's actually going to hijack the blues with a song he's writing now. |
| 3:22
| Steve has tickets to give away for Saturday night's show but he would urge the station to consider a different way to give them away for the next show. |
| 3:23
| Giving tickets away during every commercial break really ties up the phone lines and you have to give away a lot to fill the place. Also, Steve's name is not on the Pearl Room website. |
| 3:24
| Someone should drop some tickets off at The Little Guys since they're really close to Mokena. Budweiser probably doesn't care how we give the tickets away. |
| 3:25
| It's also weird when Steve walks into Stan and Terry's studio and Stan says "speaking of Steve Dahl..." and then gives some tickets away. It's a bit of a buzzkill since it makes it seem like Steve's not even there. |
| 3:26
| It also makes the tickets seem valueless when you give them away every break. It doesn't seem like everyone else is on the same page as Steve though. |
| 3:27
| Last week when Steve met with Drew and the promotions people they were all apologizing because there would be no lobster at the beach broadcasts this summer. Steve doesn't care about lobster! Did he issue an edict demanding lobster? |
| 3:28
| The lobster thing happened because someone guy Dan the Lobsterman to sponsor the event. So it was their fault but they tried to blame Steve, like he was demanding shellfish for himself and the entire audience. |
| 3:29
| It's funny when they do stuff like that though, Steve starts looking around for the camera crew wondering when Ashton Kutcher is going to walk out in his Von Dutch hat. |
| 3:30
| What Steve should have done is gone crazy and started on some PETA tangent about how he doesn't want any meat served at all. Of course they don't really care what he wants so they would serve meat anyway. |
| 3:31
| Buzz will have to make alternative arrangements now that there won't be lobster at the beach broadcasts. It's a BYOL event. Maybe Steve should have just gotten really mad at them because there would be no lobster. Is that what they're expecting him to do? |
| 3:34
| So Steve doesn't care about lobsters and it wasn't his idea in the first place. As he recalls we had a rather tumultuous relationship with the guy who owned the Oak Street Beachstro because he didn't want us bringing lobster in. |
| 3:35
| The Beachstro is only open in the summer so Steve can see why the guy wouldn't want outside food coming in. Plus they serve lobster. |
| 3:36
| This is the kind of stuff Steve tries to protect Buzz from. After the fact it's funny to talk about but before it happens it's a nightmare. |
| 3:37
| So last week we were giving tickets away during every break when Buzz said "and I want to thank Steve Dahl & the Dahlfins" This is not a contest either so don't call in or you'll make Steve mad. |
| 3:38
| It was a funny sounder the first 100 times Steve heard it. By Friday though Buzz was very cranky about it. |
| 3:39
| Steve has come up with a few other options for the contest trigger. For a while Steve was going to use the same sounder for this week but then Buzz became crazed. He was threatening people and texting them pictures of guns. |
| 3:40
| The first option is Buzz saying "it's not the blues until somebody's wearing shades" Buzz can live with that one actually. He's not shouting and he's annunciating. Steve thought it would just drive him nuts. |
| 3:41
| The second option is Buzz yelling "somebody play something" but in that one he's yelling again. The third option is Buzz thanking his Blues Jr. amp. The whole bit sort of ended when Buzz approved the first option. |
| 3:42
| The final option, the one that Steve was originally going to go with is him saying "Margarrrrrrrrita!". Steve thinks he'll get sick of it by the end of the week though but we'll go with that one anyway. |
| 3:43
| Buzz had a lot of fun at the last show but this time he'll be able to stay for the entire time. |
| 3:44
| Steve saying "Margarrrrrrrrita!" does sound kind of cool, like something good is about to happen. Jef Schmidt might not like it but he's not really like that. |
| 3:45
| Jef actually likes Steve's music but he also had an aneurysm. He might just be happy to be alive. Steve hates his music though. |
| 3:46
| Jef is a Cubs fan but he really likes Comiskey Park Song so Steve's learning that on guitar. It was originally on piano, which Steve can sort of play but he ends up having to start over a lot. |
| 3:51
| On the phone is Mark Schanowski from Comcast Sportsnet. This is a very busy day which you don't usually see on a Monday. |
| 3:52
| We found out about Tank's suspension and Lou's suspension. Based on what Mark has seen and what he knows about the people around Tank, he seems determined to shave that suspension down to 6 games. |
| 3:53
| Tank can practice with the team during the pre-season and play in pre-season games but he can't practice with them during the season. He can go to Halas to lift weights but he can't even be on the field during game day. |
| 3:54
| Lou Piniella's suspension was cut down to 4 games from 5 which still seems like a lot to Mark. Lou was just getting warmed up on Saturday. |
| 3:55
| Lou probably went out there on Saturday to take some of the pressure off the Zambrano/Barrett thing. That had become a media circus so Lou took one for the team. |
| 3:56
| Did Lou actually kick the third base umpire or did he just hit him with his stomach? Because Lou's belly sticks out pretty far. |
| 3:57
| Are you supposed to kick dirt on the umpire? It's been so long since Steve saw a good dirt-kicking. |
| 3:58
| 4 games seems like a lot but it might be good for the Cubs to have someone else in the dugout for a few games. Alan Trammell seems a bit more even-keeled although he was too even-keeled when he managed the Tigers. |
| 3:59
| Mark can hardly see how the White Sox sending down Aardsma and McDougal is going to change things significantly but it can't get any worse. |
| 4:00
| Mark tried to get Gail Fischer to use Steve's line about McDougal looking like Kenny Loggins with AIDS but she seemed uncomfortable about it. |
| 4:01
| When Ozzie got kicked out of yesterday's game it looked like he did it on purpose so he could go to sleep. Ozzie had the look of someone who'd been up all night. Steve knows that look. |
| 4:02
| They had two day games in a row on Saturday and Sunday so maybe he was up all night. The bars stay open later in Canada. |
| 4:03
| The Sox game is still at 6:00 tonight even though Roger Clemens isn't pitching and the game's not on ESPN. Roger has a problem with his old man's groin. |
| 4:04
| Also, ESPN will not be airing the final game of the Cubs/Sox game at The Cell because they consider both teams to be also-rans. So now it's on Comcast and it's during the day. |
| 4:05
| That phone call went a little better than the last time when Steve freaked Mark out. He started talking about how Mark Giangreco pushes out any young boy sports guys at ABC. |
| 4:06
| Mark took "young boys" the wrong way and it certainly is an incendiary term. All Steve meant is that Giangreco didn't want any competition as the main sportscaster by some handsome up-and-comer. |
| 4:07
| Steve likes Mark Giangreco but he would appreciate not being mentioned every time there's a big guy in a Hawaiian shirt at a sport event. |
| 4:14
| Live read: Balance for Life. |
| 4:15
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:16
| Paris Hilton is now behind bars. She turned herself in last night, 48 hours before she was supposed to. |
| 4:17
| Steve can see her going in early after finishing up at the MTV movie awards. Might as well get going. |
| 4:18
| Paris does not have a cell mate although she does have a double cell. If you're well-known that's probably what they do for you. Steve hopes that if he ever goes to jail he's well-known enough to get his own double cell. |
| 4:19
| A listener sent Steve an idea a while back that he's been sitting on. The entire Illinois Penal System is online so you can access photos of everyone in prison. |
| 4:20
| His idea was to have an Miss Illinois Penal System. It's a good idea but in order to access the database you have to have information about the prison like last name or date of birth. |
| 4:21
| So Steve just started typing random last names in. There are a ton of Smith's in the Illinois penal system and he also found a Michael Dahl. No Kilman's though. |
| 4:22
| This guy did 4 years for receiving a stole car which seems like too much. Then Steve started fixating on how much time people get. One guy he found got a year for using a stolen credit card. It made him realize that Paris has to go to jail. |
| 4:23
| One guy got a year for a couple ounces of marijuana. Buzz has some bad information about the Texas penal code and still thinks you could get 50 years for having a joint. He also thinks you can drive around in Texas with a shotgun on the passenger's seat and an open container of liquor. |
| 4:24
| So the listener had a good idea but you can't just look through all the women in prison in Illinois. There's also a concern that one of these people will come and kill Steve. |
| 4:25
| Buzz might find it hard to believe that there aren't a lot of hot chicks in prison. Steve also checked out the sex offender database. |
| 4:26
| It seems like in that database they should tell you what the person did. It seems like something accidentally happening with the babysitter is a little different than something happen with the Boy Scout troop. |
| 4:27
| Caller Mike is a detective. He wanted to let Steve know that the person's background has a lot to do with their previous offenses. |
| 4:34
| Caller Jim is a truck driver. Back in '92 he was delivering copy machines to all the state prisons. They need copy machines so they can make copies of their butts right? |
| 4:35
| Jim and his buddy made a stop off at a women's prison and they actually had to go in and set the copiers up. All of the women had let themselves go but the still wanted to touch Jim and his friends. |
| 4:36
| Even if they let themselves go they still crave the touch of a man. Sure they could fashion a crude device that would take the place of a man temporarily but after a while you'll be wanting a dumb dude. |
| 4:37
| Now back to Buzz in the newsroom, or rather the headline room. |
| 4:38
| Bad news from Iraq, it is believed that Al-Qaeda insurgents killed the three missing US troops taken last month. |
| 4:39
| A video released today claimed to show the ambush. They also set it to music, or at least what they claim is music. No wonder all those people are crazy over there, listen to that music. |
| 4:40
| Those guys need better music and they need to get laid. If that happens then it's all over, problem solved. |
| 4:41
| John Ramsey, father of JonBenet, and Beth Holloway Twitty, mother of Natalee, are romantically involved. That's sort of weird. Did they meet on America's Most Wanted? |
| 4:50
| Live read: Gierczyk Properties |
| 4:52
| Song: Surrender, Cheap Trick |
| 4:57
| Cheap Trick is playing the Taste of Chicago this year. They're headlining the big Fourth of July with Soul Asylum. |
| 4:58
| Steve likes the Trick, he's known them for a long time. His first gig with a band, Teenage Radiation, was opening for them on July 4th, 1979. |
| 5:05
| Cheap Trick will be at Taste of Chicago on Saturday July 7th. Which day does our sister station The Exert have their concert? |
| 5:06
| Pete thought the big Exert show was on July 4th but he's not sure. Isn't he the music expert? Steve's just going to call Jim kid. |
| 5:07
| What's happening in Jim's office? Steve just heard someone say "Hello, I'm Lin Brehmer." Jim was actually on the XRT website looking the information up so he doesn't know either. Apologies to Pete. |
| 5:08
| You'd think that Pete and Jim would be all over a free concert. Jim prefers to pay exorbitant amounts of money to go to concerts. Then he makes his girlfriend go get her own beer. |
| 5:09
| Steve can't believe Jim made his girlfriend get her own beer. Luckily she wasn't sitting next to Steve or they would have left together, then gone across the street and gotten on camera after the ABC news was over. They always let the interracial couples on camera. |
| 5:10
| John Mayer and Robert Randolph are playing The Exert show at the Taste. Steve likes that Robert Randolph guy and he likes John Mayer. That John Mayer must get all sorts of tail with that Your Body is a Wonderland song. He wrote a song that removes all barriers that normally prevent a dude from getting laid. |
| 5:11
| And just for good measure he also wrote that song about fathers being good to their daughters, in case Your Body is a Wonderland didn't work. The guy's a genius! |
| 5:12
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:13
| A jet went down in Lake Michigan today, near Milwaukee. 6 people were on board. Steve wants a jet until he reads a story like this. He'd prefer to be on a boat in Lake MIchigan and not in the lake, strapped into a seat belt on a plane. |
| 5:14
| In other aviation news, a small plane lost power and slammed into homes about 45 miles east of Los Angeles, injuring the pilot and two passengers. No one on the ground was injured as the plane came to rest on the roof of a garage. |
| 5:15
| That's not even news. That's like Steve reporting that he didn't get into a crash on his way into work today. He almost got into a crash because people were driving like there were two inches of snow on the ground. It's just rain! |
| 5:16
| Also, the festival where that woman crashed through the crowd was Unifest, an African-American cultural festival. Buzz said it was a music festival. They probably had great soul and gospel music. |
| 5:17
| Steve and Buzz were of course at Gospel Fest over the weekend. A lot of people thought they looked silly in their choir robes but they looked hot and they were hot. You can keep a lot of stuff under your robe like a cooler. Steve had a barstool under there and he was sitting for most of the fest. He also had a Weber grill under there and was cooking steaks. |
| 5:23
| Steve, Buzz and The Nadas/Dahlfins are going to be out at The Pearl Room in Mokena on Saturday. The Nadas start off the show then they become The Dahlfins when Steve comes out. Buzz will also jam with them. |
| 5:24
| Steve has some sports to do. Everyone should know that while Steve is doing the sports he has full knowledge that there is a Taco Bell quesadilla waiting for him out in the hallway. He decided to eat the quesadilla after the sports though because he didn't want to subject listeners to a Mike Adamle-esque sportscast. |
| 5:25
| Tank Johnson has been suspended for 8 games by the NFL but it could be dropped down to 6 games for good behavior. |
| 5:26
| It's sort of inspiring to hear Tank talk about turning his life around, you know that's all Lovie. |
| 5:27
| The Cubs are in Milwaukee to take on the Brewers tonight. Jason Marquis faces Dave Bush. Lou Piniella received a 4-game suspension for his tirade against an umpire in Saturday's game. |
| 5:28
| Lou has Steve's eternal gratitude for that outburst, he loves a good baseball shouting match. |
| 5:29
| The White Sox take on the Yankees at The Cell tonight. Jon Garland faces Nick DeSalvo, not Rogers Clemens. Clemens is out with an old man's groin. |
| 5:30
| The Sox optioned Mike McDougal and David Aardsma to triple-A Charlotte. They're going to love it there. |
| 5:31
| Billy Donovan is working on getting out of the deal he signed last week to coach the Orlando Magic. He got cold feet even though they gave him $27 million. |
| 5:32
| He must have done the math and realized that he could coast on back-to-back National Championships at Florida for at least 10 years. Plus all the co-eds. |
| 5:33
| LeBron James' girlfriend is due to give birth to their second child the night of a potential game 5 in Cleveland. Girlfriend?! We don't need another bastard child! |
| 5:34
| They could do the birth right at center court, have a c-section maybe. Buzz is wondering if LeBron isn't married for financial reasons. Buzz is just glad it's with the same woman, the palimony will be cheaper. |
| 5:35
| Buzz knows that but he's never heard of Iron Chef. He did catch the Iron Chef reference on Entourage last night though. |
| 5:36
| In an interview in GQ magazine Gary Sheffield said that Latin players have become the most prevalent minority in Major League Baseball because they're easier to control. Is that really what you want to say Sheff? |
| 5:37
| Sheff has had some trouble in the past. When he was on the Dodgers he went up into the stands at Wrigley Field and beat up a Cubs fan. Then when he was on the Yankees he was blackmailed by a minister who claimed he had a sex tape featuring Sheffield's wife. The minister is now in prison for blackmail, and he is a black male but that's just a coincidence. |
| 5:43
| Last night on Entourage they said there was a kitchen installed in a condo Johnny Drama was going to buy because an Iron Chef stayed there. That doesn't really make any sense since the show is filmed in Vegas. |
| 5:44
| it's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve's having the delicious Extreme Cheese and Beef quesadilla. |
| 5:45
| Steve couldn't remember the name of the item because it's not on the wrapper. It's only a limited-time item which Taco Bell does a lot to get you in the door. They probably didn't print up a special wrapper for it. |
| 5:46
| Buzz will be eating a taco every Tuesday but he's going to have a lot of trouble getting that quesadilla out of his head. |
| 5:47
| Steve got a Dr. Pepper with his quesadilla which is the way to do it. Buzz actually prefers the quesadilla to the cheeseburger. |
| 5:48
| We don't have to have favorites do we? Steve has three kids and on any given day he favors one of them to the other three. just based on if they did something for him or didn't do anything bad. |
| 5:49
| Steve's going to try to eat his quesadilla and take Random Phone Calls. He's pretty sure he can do it but the quesadillas are really good, like get-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night good. Taco Bell can use that if they want. |
| 5:50
| At the outset, Steve would like to say that he invented "you're in the air" when taking a call. Everyone else on the station says it though and Drew won't make them change it. |
| 5:51
| The first caller wanted to let Steve know how persuasive the Five O'Clock Taco Bell was last Thursday. He had to stop on his way home from work and grab a bag of tacos and then eat them in the car. |
| 5:52
| The next caller is out in Blue Island picking up his bean bag game, although he doesn't like calling it the other thing because it sounds dirty. Of course now the guy made it dirty so Steve has to take all that out. |
| 5:53
| The next caller is going to get a quesadilla right now. She wanted to remind Steve about Taco Bell's "think outside the bun" slogan. Buzz doesn't like to think outside the bun but that's what he's doing right now. |
| 5:54
| The next caller wanted Steve's expertise on what to get his son as he's graduating high school. How about a hooker? What sort of expertise does Steve have about this? |
| 5:55
| The caller's son is a big Boston fan but all their tickets are sold out at Fenway. Plus it's about $1000 for a weekend hotel stay. He tried looking on ticket broker sites but he doesn't know where to sit. |
| 5:56
| Steve doesn't really know what to say to this guy. Why is he an expert on graduation gifts? Brendan can use his own discretion about giving this guy tickets for the Dahlfins show. |
| 5:57
| Steve wants to talk to this guy again, he's reconnoitered his position. Is he paying for the kid to go to college? |
| 5:58
| The caller is paying for college and Indiana and he got him a laptop. That sounds like more than enough. |
| 6:03
| Live read: DeWalt |
| 6:04
| Steve's reading suffered in that live read because he'd eaten his quesadilla. He wasn't hungry any more so it was like he didn't have to work any more. |
| 6:05
| News with Buzz |
| 6:06
| Caribbean officials are stepping up their efforts to find a fourth suspect in the plot to blow up a gas pipeline that goes from New Jersey to JFK Airport. |
| 6:07
| Of course before this no one even knew about the pipeline. These knuckleheads didn't even really know about it, they just had some Google Maps. |
| 6:08
| Caribbean Muslims? Now Steve can't go there either? |
| 6:09
| Air Force One has landed in Prague and it was met with dozens of Czech protestors. Bush passed some bad Czechs. |
| 6:10
| A Washington DC woman is due in court on charges of ramming her car into a crowd of festival-goers on Saturday night. Police say the woman may have been high on crack, which she'd been smoking the entire day. That'll really impair your driving. |
| 6:11
| Whenever Steve sees people smoking crack on TV it seems like a lot of it is wasted. You cook it on tinfoil and then suck in the vapors with your pipe but it seems like a lot of it is wasted. That's probably why it's only $10 a rock. |
| 6:12
| Buzz feels a lot of the time the wasted vapors are due to the inefficiency of the crackhead. Maybe there are some crackheads out there who can call in or some law enforcement officials. |
| 6:13
| It just seems like a lot of your crack vapors are going up in smoke and that bothers Steve as both an addict and a conservationist. |
| 6:14
| Caller Mark (if that's his real name) has been in recovery for 11 years. Right on! Steve's coming up on year 12. When they show crack smoking on TV it's more for dramatic purposes. |
| 6:15
| When you're an actual crack smoker you don't want to waste anything. Also the tinfoil thing is more with heroin, it's called chasing the dragon. |
| 6:16
| Crack goes in a pipe with some Chore Boy which is like Brillo. You put the crack on the Chore Boy. light it and it oozes in. Then you sick in the vapors but you don't want to get your lips on the pipe because it gets really hot. |
| 6:17
| Steve is wondering what leads someone to crack because he's heard it's the worst thing that can happen to you. For Mark, he started drinking way underage then moved to pot then he was snorting coke. |
| 6:18
| Eventually Mark started suffering from severe nose bleeds and had to figure out a different way to get high. He stopped at shooting heroin because it was the 80s and there was the AIDS scare. |
| 6:27
| That's probably enough Crack Talk today right Buzz? But know Steve will know what's going on when he's watching COPS. |
| 6:28
| Buzz doesn't watch COPS but he periodically notices a marathon on CourtTV. It's on every Saturday night but by that time Buzz is probably out at his Mexican restaurant. |
| 6:29
| Actually when COPS is on Buzz is taking his late Saturday nap before he goes out to the Mexican restaurant with Aimee. |
| 6:30
| Hustler publisher Larry Flynt is offering $1 million to anyone who has had sex with a Congressman. Steve is saying he had sex with that one Congressman who's in all that legal trouble. |
| 6:31
| You need some sort of documentation of the affair to get the $1 million. Steve doesn't have that. |
| 6:32
| The plane that went down in Lake Michigan was a medical transport carrying organs. At first only jet debris was found but now people have started spotting human body parts in the lake. |
| 6:33
| Those are probably the organs the plane was transporting. So if you're in the Milwaukee area and you need a kidney, head out to the lake, they're probably still preserved because the water is cold. |
| 6:34
| Paris Hilton reported to police custody last night 48 hours before she was scheduled to report. That's probably because she wanted to avoid the paparazzi. |
| 6:35
| Paris' meals will be served in her cell and he free time will be spent watching TV, talking on the phone or hanging out in the yard. |
| 6:36
| Paris said she could have gone to a pay jail but she wanted to do real time. She's probably writing a book or something. She wants to be in gen pop! She'll probably come out with a tear-drop tattoo. |
| 6:38
| A beloved Brooklyn grandmother who only left her house to go to church was struck and killed by a Mr. Softee ice cream truck yesterday. |
| 6:39
| Mr. Softee is a bad name for an ice cream company. What kind of guy wants to be called Softee? Right there he shouldn't be trusted. |
| 6:45
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 6:46
| We talked to Mark Schanowski earlier today and he said ESPN wasn't carrying the Sox game tonight. It seems like they're on ESPN, at least here, because Steve just heard The Red Baron. "What's the best city in the world Mud?" |
| 6:47
| Pete's trying to talk to Steve in the intercom. The Sox game is on The U tonight in Chicago. Since it's on ESPN it has to also be on a local station in Chicago. |
| 6:48
| Don't watch the game though, listen to Matt and Brendan. The Sox are losing anyway. |
| 6:49
| Steve thought it was funny that ESPN hijacked the game because Roger Clemens was supposed to make his season debut tonight. Then he threw out his groin. |
| 6:50
| Mike Dahl is at the game tonight, it's his birthday. Also, if you see someone in the Scout Seats in a leather, yellow M & M's jacket, that's not Steve. |
| 6:51
| Steve would not wear that to get attention. Everyone knows he wears a full Sox uniform. |
| 6:52
| You can see that guy in the yellow jacket on TV as well as the guy's from Jam Productions. Steve feels he looks better than the guy in the yellow jacket although he is super rich. He walks around like he owns the place but maybe he does. |
| 6:58
| The Sox game is on the main ESPN channel as well as WCIU. Even though Roger Clemens isn't pitching tonight ESPN is still using al these graphics they created for him. |
| 6:59
| They run through Clemens' career highlights and he's not even pitching. |
| 7:00
| Matt Dahl estimated that he'd need 100 cicadas for Patrick Bertoletti, who's coming in tonight. Steve gave Matt some cicada-gathering tips and he managed to get about 100. |
| 7:01
| Patrick said he ate a cicada and thought he could finish two garbage bags-worth of cicadas. If he managed to eat one without puking he'd surpass Matt and Brendan's record. |
| 7:02
| Matt should ask Patrick about the new hot dog-eating record. That Joey Chestnut guy beat Kobayashi's record but it wasn't at Nathan's. Also Kobayashi wasn't even there. |
| 7:03
| Matt thinks he might puke just watching Patrick eat the cicadas. Steve thinks Matt and Brendan are a couple of nancies. It's just a bug! |
| 7:04
| There's a photo circulating on the internet of two cicadas mating. Steve's gotten it from a ton of people but Jeff Schwartz sent it to him and claimed he took it himself in his backyard. |
| 7:05
| Based on what Steve is seeing in the photo it doesn't seem like a good way to mate. After 17 years he'd want to at least look into someone's eyes when doing it, not off into the distance. |
