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| 2:03
| Stan and Terry's last caller is a huge Rosie Perez fan. Every guy has one actress who they love. Steve thinks you can do a lot better than Rosie Perez. |
| 2:04
| Stan agrees but still admires certain attributes that Rosie possesses. Maybe it's a black thing? |
| 2:05
| Steve's not really going to argue against Rosie Perez with Stan, he just made the comment to get the conversation starting. |
| 2:06
| Stan brought Steve a story from the Tribune. It's an interview with Michael Jordan when he was out at Road America over the weekend. |
| 2:07
| Steve's going to hang on to this article at least until Stan and Terry leave and then he'll shred it. Why would he want to read an 18 page article about Michael Jordan? |
| 2:08
| Steve has to use the public bathroom just before the show because he was running late. It was horrible, it smells like poop and toothpaste. Steve gets the first smell but who's brushing their teeth in there? You're better off with dirty teeth. |
| 2:09
| Steve did not go to the Sox game tonight but he has tickets tonight. He doesn't really feel like going even if it is the Yankees. Terry would go just for the primo Yankee-hating going on. Maybe he wants to buy the tickets? |
| 2:10
| Maybe Steve will go, it all depends on the weather. He only has shorts on and it's supposed to be cold. He does have a jacket and he doesn't have feeling below the waist so he should be fine. Stan has a look on his face like he actually wants to stab Steve in the legs to see if he really doesn't have feeling there. |
| 2:11
| Stan doesn't like wearing shorts unless it's at least 80º. Steve thinks that his legs are big enough that he doesn't really feel the cold. He's also likes showing off his calves, he's really been working on them. |
| 2:12
| Terry is checking out Steve's calves now, he really likes what he sees. Is he going to get Steve some high heels to wear? |
| 2:13
| Stan is wondering if Steve wants to go to the Barack Obama fundraiser on Friday. Steve needs the presidential race narrowed down to two people before he starts to care. He needs a Democrat and a Republican to choose from. |
| 2:14
| Terry can never keep track of all the people running, he usually only remembers three names. Stan is always pays attention to that kind of stuff. It's probably that kind of voting that got us Todd Stroger. |
| 2:15
| Stan didn't want to vote for Peraica because he didn't think he would be able to accomplish everything he promised. Sometimes you're better off just going with change though, even if you don't think anything will happen. |
| 2:16
| Todd Stroger's is even crazier than everyone thought he'd be. Right out of the gate he started giving high-paying jobs to his friends and relatives and said with a straight face that they were the most qualified. |
| 2:17
| There's some sort of bikini car wash happening on whatever Spanish channel Stan and Terry are watching. They really need to get an English SAP on this channel. |
| 2:18
| Stan never knows the name of this soap opera because the TV remote he has won't bring up the menu. The original remote broke so he had to buy a new one from The Little Guys but it won't bring up the menu. |
| 2:19
| It sounds like Stan didn't type the right code in for the remote. He just settled on whichever one turned the TV on and off and changed the channel. He settled just like he settled for Todd Stroger. |
| 2:20
| We should have a bikini car wash to raise money for the station. |
| 2:21
| Is there anything else going on? Buzz won't come on until 2:30 now so we should probably keep going. |
| 2:22
| Caller Kathy has some info about Spanish-language soap operas. |
| 2:23
| When Stan tells the caller that he's going to see if there's anything in the prize closet for them does he really go down there and take inventory? Steve can just give Kathy something from the prize wheel. |
| 2:24
| Are Stan and Terry mad at Steve because he has no many prizes? It might be because he's white. |
| 2:25
| Steve can't wait until Stan and Terry place the race card, Drew is going to totally freak out. Can they play the race card on Steve's behalf sometime? |
| 2:26
| If Stan ever places the race card it'll be to get in Steve's Green Room bathroom. Stan will just ask them why he and Terry have to use the blacks-only bathroom that no one cleans. |
| 2:27
| Stan and Terry should take over Dan Falato's office and convert it into a bathroom. He doesn't do anything in there, he just fields calls from Mark Grace. |
| 2:28
| Stan doesn't want to take over he wants to share with other people. He thought it would be cool if Steve walked into the Green Room one day and he and Terry were sitting there reading the paper. |
| 2:29
| If Stan and Terry are in the Green Room are they in valet uniforms? Because if they're going to be Steve's valets that might work. |
| 2:35
| Song: Ever Present Past, Paul McCartney |
| 2:38
| That would be Paul McCartney from his new album which is out today. The new album is getting good reviews but Steve's not a big fan of that style, whatever that is. |
| 2:39
| Steve's not a fan of the whole whimsical thing but as someone who writes songs he doesn't know if he should criticize him. |
| 2:40
| ITunes has been bugging Steve to pre-order the new McCartney album for 2 months but there weren't any previews until today. Hopefully the previews are better than the song Pete selected. |
| 2:41
| Pete has a very gay side to his musical tastes. He likes music you can skip to, like that one Steven song. Even that song has a Paul McCartney feel to it which is fine if John Lennon is riding shotgun. |
| 2:42
| Steven reminds Buzz of Maxwell's Silver Hammer. When McCartney first wrote it it was probably Wednesday's Silver Sunshine and then Lennon came along and suggested they make it about someone murdering someone else with a hammer. |
| 2:43
| There's a certain style of music in England that sort of sounds like half-assed Gilbert & Sullivan. |
| 2:44
| You'd think McCartney would have more of an edge after losing $80 million to that one-legged bimbo. He doesn't even care though he's just trying to show people he's happy. |
| 2:45
| Steve thought Linda McCartney was dead but it sounds like she's singing background in one of these songs. Maybe Heather Mills got mad that Paul wouldn't let her sing background on his songs. It was probably too hard to her to stand for an entire concert on the stage riser. |
| 2:46
| There are a couple of songs that Steve doesn't mind on here, he just doesn't like that happy-ass stuff. |
| 2:47
| Maybe Steve should go back and listen to the first two songs and see if his mind has been changed. All of the sudden he doesn't mind it as much but the whistling is still a put-off. |
| 2:48
| Steve doesn't hate Ever Present Past any more either. OH MY GOD! He's talking about being a Beatle and now Steve is sucked in, he can't wait to download the whole album. |
| 2:49
| A lot of times it takes a while to get used to a Paul McCartney song. He's lost his edge but it's not his fault, his edge is dead. |
| 2:50
| If you think about a lot of those Beatles songs, people heard them for the first time at just the right time, when they were stoned. Buzz was a big Beatles fan but there were still a lot of songs he didn't like. |
| 2:51
| So far Steve likes That Was Me the most. He and Buzz are going to have to have a listening party for the whole album. Buzz doesn't think he'll be able to host, Aimee hates The Beatles. |
| 2:52
| The Paul McCartney songs that Steve really likes are the epic-sounding ones. There's one on the new album that sounds epic but it's only 2 minutes long. An epic song needs to be 5 or 6 minutes at least. |
| 2:53
| Hearing this last song Steve can see how McCartney got some hot twentysomething girl. She only had the one leg so you know he was just there to get his freak on. It had to fall apart eventually. |
| 2:58
| Steve likes The Beatles but he never gets a crazy craving for them. Buzz was 20 when the Beatles first broke out. |
| 2:59
| Buzz remembers working at a newspaper in Florida and taking the first photo of them off the wire. He was probably one of the first people in America to see what they looked like. |
| 3:00
| Steve was 10 when the Beatles broke out. They did a skit in Cub Scouts to I Want to Hold Your Hand. Half the den came out dressed as the band with cardboard guitars. |
| 3:01
| Even at that age Steve knew the skit wasn't funny and he wanted to no part of it but he had no choice. |
| 3:02
| In the middle of the song the den mother, Mrs. Kinkle came out and said "ladies and gentlemen there's been a mistake, these are the real Beatles." Then the other half of the troop came out dressed as bugs. |
| 3:03
| If Steve were planning it he would have had the kids dressed as bugs come out first. He might have even lobbied for that but no one listened. |
| 3:04
| Steve was eventually kicked out of Cub Scouts because he had a bad attitude. Buzz was kicked out for setting up a gambling ring at a campboree. |
| 3:05
| Steve always wanted to go to Scout-o-Rama and he sold tickets but never got further than a tiki god neckerchief tie with glowing eyes. |
| 3:06
| Steve never understood the point of the neckerchief, it's like a shawl around your neck. They still wear that neckerchief though. |
| 3:07
| Steve's boys were in Cub Scouts but at that time they'd become very lax and didn't even wear the uniform any more. The uniform was the best part of being a Cub Scout. Once the Boy Scouts started dying off the Cub Scouts didn't seem to care any more. |
| 3:08
| The Cubs Scouts had also taken on some bizarre born-again Christian feel too. Of all the Dahl boys Mike was the most into it. |
| 3:09
| There was one time when Mike's troop had a bake sale. Steve helped him make a cake and they put Skittles all around it. There are rainbows that aren't gay but when they got to the bake sale all of the other dad's helped their sons make war-themed cakes. |
| 3:10
| This was right around the time of the first Gulf War but Steve still felt he had made an appropriate cake for Mike's age group. |
| 3:11
| Steve also became stymied on the Pinebox Derby. A lot of the other dad's got really into building their kid's cars but Steve just nailed 4 wheels to a piece of wood. They were out in the first round. |
| 3:12
| One of the dad's was an unemployed toy maker so he had built a Corvette that opened up and had Mickey Mouse inside. |
| 3:13
| If Mike had wanted to make a war-themed cake Steve would have. It was still a nice cake though, Dan Falato probably would have paid $500 for it. |
| 3:16
| We're getting a lot of calls about scouting but Steve doesn't have anything else to say and he doesn't need to be set straight on any misconceptions he has. |
| 3:17
| The first caller was going to tell Steve that the neckerchief denotes rank and can be used for a splint if you hurt your arm. That's a Stan Lawrence call right there. The second caller wanted to let Steve know that the Boy Scouts are still around. |
| 3:18
| All Steve knows is that when the boys were in Cub Scouts they didn't have uniforms and it had taken on some bizarre born-again thing. Plus they met in a public school but they said God in their pledge so there was a problem there. Buzz is pretty sure his former scout leader was a child molester. |
| 3:19
| Steve's not trying to be mean about scouting, he just doesn't want to get bogged down in a scouting conversation. Brendan should give the callers something though. |
| 3:20
| Buzz remembers one camping trip where his tent was too noisy so their punishment was to carry rocks in their underpants. Someone must have been enjoying that. The real punishment was that they were walking around in bare feet. Did his scout leader make them put on the sash or neckerchief? |
| 3:21
| There was one time when Steve was a kid that he was punished for playing in a creek and getting his clothing all wet. His friend's mom made him and all his friends drive home covered with towels but otherwise completely nude. |
| 3:22
| There were girls in the car and Steve knew that was hot but he still left feeling that something was wrong. Then he got home and he beseeched his parents to speak on his behalf but they just beat him. And he'd already been beaten by his friend's mom, that's what happened back then. |
| 3:23
| Steve just doesn't want to talk to real scouting people because then he can't make all the pedophile jokes. |
| 3:29
| Scouting is probably a fine program but Steve has no use for it. If you want to get involved with some sort of paramilitary group just join the Marines. |
| 3:30
| Scouting sort of seems outmoded to Buzz. This is just going to cause us to get more calls though. |
| 3:31
| Periodically you'll hear mention of someone like an Olympic winner who was also an Eagle Scout. Steve's nephew is an Eagle Scout and it was a hard thing to accomplish. |
| 3:32
| Steve's favorite part of being a Boy Scout was getting Boys Life, which in and of itself sounds weird. He loved the funnies section on the last page. It was like the Playboy party jokes page for kids. |
| 3:33
| Yesterday Steve forgot to take a box of tapes from Pete's studio so he needs to do that today. He also needs Pete to grab a copy of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance because of all the times they say "dude" in the movie. |
| 3:34
| Pete has a room full of tapes but the one thing Steve needs he doesn't have. If Steve needed something from Whoopi Goldberg's sitcom or Becker. |
| 3:35
| It's really funny to hear John Wayne call Jimmy Stewart "dude". It's like he's a surfer. |
| 3:36
| Pete has a few drops from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance but he's not sure if it's what Steve is looking for. It'll take Pete a little bit to pull up the drop though, they're backed up on CD. |
| 3:37
| Maybe if all those tapes weren't in there Pete would have the CDs at his fingertips. It doesn't sound like they're at his fingertips. Pete has started narrating his searches but he's off mic. It does make the show sound very big though. |
| 3:38
| Steve can see why Pete doesn't want him messing up his system, so far it sounds flawless. |
| 3:39
| There's one dude in the three drops Pete has. One would wonder why Pete has kept the drops for all these years. |
| 3:40
| Steve is going to come get a box now, Pete needs to sit still and not try to save them. Buzz does feel bad for Pete because he recognizes the anxiety he's going through. |
| 3:41
| Steve thinks Pete moved some boxes out of his studio, there aren't as many as there once were. Buzz feels that as long as the boxes aren't in that studio it's a victory. |
| 3:42
| So far Steve hasn't had any problem throwing out the boxes. The first box contains a tape from 12/24/05 which Pete feels is recent. That's recent? That tape contains a Ray Raynor/Garfield Goose but Steve can't read the rest of Pete's handwriting. |
| 3:43
| Steve doesn't know the Ray Raynor stuff so we don't need this tape. That show is on all the time anyway. |
| 3:44
| Pete was keeping that tape because he loves Christmas. That's the time of year when he's even lonelier than he is the rest of the year. Maybe give this tape to Garry, he likes to talk about all that stuff. The only two people who care about Ray Raynor are Garry and Bob Sirott. They should start up their own show about him. |
| 3:45
| Pete also has a tape with a Lingerie Bowl as well as a Margaret Cho comedy special. It's biting comedy but we can't air any of it. |
| 3:46
| On 7/10/03, Trigger Happy TV as well as Tough Crowd and The Tom Green Show. Steve doesn't think this tape is going to make the cut. Pete wants to keep that tape because of Tough Crowd, the Colin Quinn roundtable about the events of the day. Events of the day 4 years ago. |
| 3:47
| This box is the closest we've come to a keeper. On 4/13/02 an SNL with The Rock and Andrew WK. On 4/14/02 Meet the Press and NBC basketball. That's just whatever Pete was watching that particular Sunday morning. |
| 3:49
| Pete is confident there are tapes in these boxes we can use. If anyone wants a VHS copy of Club Dread taped off Showtime, Pete has it. |
| 3:50
| That's another box that's being thrown away. Stephanie knows how much this hurts Pete but she still seems to enjoy wheeling the box of tapes out of the studio. Pete tried to implore Stephanie to stash the boxes somewhere else but she didn't. Steve feels everyone around here is sick of Pete's quirkiness. He's quirkier than Steve and Buzz combined and people are tired of working around it. |
| 3:51
| Steve's going to get another box since we didn't do one yesterday. These boxes are really heavy. |
| 3:52
| On 2/10/03, King of Queens, Raymond and Still Standing. Still Standing is in reruns, that's the fine Jamie Gertz vehicle where she has the really bad Chicago accent even though she grew up here. That's how bad of an actress she is. |
| 3:53
| On 2/11/03 Real World, The Osbourne's, Daily Show and Clone High. We've got to keep Clone High! Pete realizes that tape has to go but he knows there are hidden gems in each box. |
| 3:54
| Maybe on Memorial Day Pete should have been going through the tapes looking for the gems instead of putting them in a box. He took a vertical stack and made it horizontal. |
| 3:55
| On 12/30/02, Bernie Mac and Cedric. There's only one Bernie Mac tape we play around here. |
| 3:56
| The other two tapes are the same as the first two, King of Queens and some MTV stuff. Somehow the days of the week all ended up in the same boxes. On 12/14/02, Al Gore and Phish on SNL. That's a classic! This box is also going. Pete wants Steve to pull out one more tape. |
| 3:57
| Another tape is more King of Queens and Raymond as well as a Real Sex episode. Pete! Is that what he was looking for? That's one of the most disgusting shows on TV, it's all people you don't want to see naked explaining things you don't want explained. |
| 3:58
| That's 200 pounds of bad VHS going right out the door. Pete thinks we should save the actual tapes and re-use them because it's a hot commodity. |
| 3:59
| Some other psycho, like Pete, emailed Steve and told him to sell all these tapes on eBay. Is he nuts? There are 200 tapes in each box plus you can't sell other people's copyrighted material. |
| 4:00
| Then the guy suggested selling the tapes as blanks. Who's going to need blank tapes in this country? No one! Should Steve sell them on eBay Bangkok? |
| 4:04
| There ya go, that's your drop in from Club Dread. Pete already had that drop so we still don't need the VHS. |
| 4:05
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 4:06
| Steve made a special request for Billy Jack to call in today and he did even though it's his day off. Steve has a few Tank Johnson questions. |
| 4:07
| There's nothing new to report about Tank. The Bears were just waiting to hear what the suspension would be before they decided on a regiment to keep him in shape. They're still viewing it as a 6 game suspension because they believe Tank will stay out of trouble. |
| 4:08
| Tank can practice with the team and play in games during the pre-season but once the season starts he can only come to Halas Hall to work out. |
| 4:09
| Billy Jack is looking at it like it's 6 games or bust. If he can't stay out of trouble and get that suspension down from 8 to 6 it's probably all over for him. |
| 4:10
| Tank should have gone with a more low-key shirt for his press conference today, maybe a nice Polo. He got ride of the dreads but he was still wearing the crazy hip-hop shirt. |
| 4:11
| The most important thing for the Bears though is getting Tommie Harris back, he's on the strong side. There's some concern about speed after hamstring surgery but Tommie said he'll be even faster. |
| 4:12
| Billy Jack talked to Tommie and he seemed pretty jovial, which makes him think everything is fine with him. If everything wasn't fine that would be on his mind. |
| 4:13
| Billy has been out at the Bears practices and he's seen some great, surprising things. Every time Devin Hester is on offense and touches the ball it's magic. Greg Olsen has also been impressive. |
| 4:14
| Garrett Wolfe has also been impressive in the backfield so it looks like the Bears have given Rex Grossman a few more weapons to use. |
| 4:15
| Billy Jack is the best Bears guy there is so Steve wanted to hear all this from him. The Bears players like him too. |
| 4:16
| Buzz never realized until recently that Tank Johnson is actually quite likable. |
| 4:22
| Before Steve gets too far away from talking about The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, he did get the DVD. Hopefully we can hear some quality "dudes" from John Wayne. |
| 4:23
| Steve could play the fine Gene Pitney song The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance but instead he's going to play the James Taylor version. |
| 4:24
| Song: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, James Taylor |
| 4:27
| The first time Steve heard that version the lyrics actually stuck out. He's heard the Gene Pitney version a million times though. |
| 4:28
| The Gene Pitney version has a lot of other weird stuff going on that draws attention away from the lyrics. |
| 4:29
| Steve's going to watch The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance when he gets home tonight. |
| 4:30
| John Wayne says "pilgrim" in the movie a lot but he also says "dude" and it sounds much funnier. Dude should replace pilgrim as far as Steve is concerned. |
| 4:31
| Live read: Gierczyk Properties |
| 4:37
| Steve still has the tickets for tonight's Sox game but he doesn't really want to go. He only has shorts on and it's pretty cold out. |
| 4:38
| Ed Farmer is on hold and it's going to kill him that Steve's not going tonight. It's also going to kill him to hear his intro, he doesn't like hearing himself. |
| 4:39
| Thome hit a 2-run home run last night and Konerko hit really well out of the 7 hole. |
| 4:40
| The bullpen started to falter a little bit last night but Bobby Jenks came in and shut down the Yankees with the tying run at home. |
| 4:41
| The Yankees certainly helped the Sox though, they made a few bad defensive plays. |
| 4:42
| The Yankees are 6 games under .500 and they're very out of first place in the AL East. All of their pitchers are injured including Clemens who might have scar tissue in his groin. |
| 4:43
| One thing the relievers still seem to not realize, that Ed pointed out last week, is that you still need to stick to the game plan and throw the ball. |
| 4:44
| When a reliever comes in there's already a game plan, all you need to do is follow it. Ozzie is going to send the signs to AJ and AJ gives the sign to the pitcher. |
| 4:45
| Buzz actually told Ed's story about hitting his teammate in batting practice. He doesn't tell baseball stories but he had a lot of fun telling that one. |
| 4:46
| Wayne Gross hit a grand slam off of Ed in a game. As he was rounding the bases he was doing his Babe Ruth imitation. |
| 4:47
| 2 years later Ed and Wayne were on the same team. During batting practice Ed hit the guy in the back with a fastball. He told him he was going to do it but the guy didn't believe he was that crazy. |
| 4:48
| Ed and Wayne ended up being great friends though. Something like that either makes you great friends or enemies. |
| 4:49
| Wayne knew that if he got hit by a pitch Ed would hit the team's next batter. Tony LaRussa's rule is if they hit you, you retaliate and hit their best player. |
| 4:50
| That was back in the day when you could do that stuff without worrying about warnings from umpires. |
| 4:51
| Steve's not coming out to the game because it's supposed to be cold and he's only wearing shorts. He'll probably go on Thursday though, it's supposed to be in the 90s. |
| 4:52
| Steve wants Ed to rank Lou Piniella's tirade on Saturday. It's pretty high up there. If Lou's tirade was an 8 then the guy in the minor leagues is a 10. |
| 4:53
| The thing with the guy in the minors is that all of the players he's coaching are really young. The coach is supposed to be the mature one. |
| 4:54
| Steve thinks the Cubs should have a base on the field that's a little easier to remove.It seemed like Ed might have wanted to pull a base out but was afraid he couldn't. |
| 4:55
| It seems like Lou wanted to get thrown out to fire up the team and take the attention off Zambrano and Barrett. That's good managing right there. |
| 4:56
| Lou's post-game press conferences are the best because you never know when he's going to go off on someone. Steve has isolated the problem in the press conferences, it's Bruce Levine. |
| 4:57
| Bruce Levine will ask an irritating question and then when he gets the answer he'll press further. He's like the kid who keeps his hand up even when the teacher is answering his question. |
| 4:58
| In school that was the kid you gave a swirly to. Maybe they should enact a swirly policy to get the press in line. |
| 4:59
| Ed has never heard the Bruce Levine/Ed Lynch tape, Steve wants to play it for him. Of all the tapes Steve has this is one of his favorites. |
| 5:00
| Ed thinks Bruce was right, without him Ed Lynch doesn't have a job. Bruce is still here, Ed is gone. |
| 5:01
| Steve likes that kid filling in for Erstad, Owens. He's really fast. If he gets on base there's a good chance he can get to third really quickly. |
| 5:02
| Steve will probably just give the tickets to Tina and Stephanie. You'd think Jim or Pete would just suck it up and take the tickets because the seats are so good. It's still a baseball game. |
| 5:03
| Pete went with Steve to a game last summer against the Astros, they had a great time. Pete even rooted for the Sox, or at least he didn't root for the Astros because they're an NL Central team. |
| 5:04
| Pete would go to the game tonight if he was wearing pants. He really should put some pants on, it's sort of creepy. Steve will just give the tickets to Tina and Stephanie, they're fans and they work hard for very little money. |
| 5:05
| The Sox almost had Steve pulled back in last night but the bullpen was still a little shaky in the 9th. Meanwhile the Cubs are just rocking ever since the Lou Piniella tirade. Meanwhile he's just hanging out in a sky box drinking beers. |
| 5:06
| Ozzie needs a similar tirade to inspire the Sox. That ejection on Sunday was weak, he just wanted to get thrown out so he could go into the clubhouse and take a nap. |
| 5:10
| Drew was just down in the studio trying to mooch a quesadilla. Steve doesn't have any today because it's Taco Tuesday. |
| 5:11
| Both Steve and Buzz will together enjoy a delicious Taco Bell taco with mild sauce. Steve finds the mild sauce to be delightful but it's not too mild. |
| 5:12
| Drew was asking if there were extras but Steve told him, repeatedly, that they only order what they're going to eat. |
| 5:13
| The other day Drew was driving home from some kid's birthday party with his son and he passed by a Taco Bell. He wanted to stop in and get a quesadilla but his wife wouldn't let him. Who wears the tortilla in that family? |
| 5:14
| Steve also got Buzz a Dr. Pepper but tomorrow they'll be sampling a special Pepsi/Mountain Dew/fruit juice blend that they have at Taco Bell. |
| 5:15
| Buzz is wondering how much a taco costs at the Taco Bell. Why does he always have to ask questions that Steve doesn't know the answer to? This is a guy who doesn't even know what Iron Chef is. Buzz needs to get out and explore the city a little more. |
| 5:22
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 5:23
| Scooter Libby has been sentenced to 30 months in prison. Imagine what would have happened if they'd actually caught the real guys behind the leak. |
| 5:24
| Speculation is running rampant that Bush will eventually pardon Libby. Ya think? Why doesn't he just do it now, he's got nothing to lose. |
| 5:25
| Stan asked Steve today if he wanted to go to the Barack Obama fundraiser at Rockit Bar on Friday. Why would he want to do that? Obama has enough money as it is. |
| 5:26
| Rockit is bringing burgers in tomorrow. They were instructed to only bring the Kobe beef burgers because no one here is interested in the turkey burgers. If they want to bring those in and display them in the lobby that would be fine. |
| 5:27
| A new survey of British women shows that 72% of them prefer chocolate to sex. Steve was only in Britain for 3 days, he did what he could. |
| 5:28
| Dateline San Jose, California. A man apparently became enraged that his pizza was taking so long so he drove to the Pizza My Dear and attacked the manager with a machete. Who would order pizza from a place called Pizza My Dear? |
| 5:34
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:35
| Steve's having some trouble with the math in this live read. Steve's pretty fiscally conservative and it seems like David is playing a little fast and loose. |
| 5:37
| Steve has a guy on hold to talk about pizza delivery horror stories but first David Hochberg is on the phone. |
| 5:38
| David was going to help Steve out with the math but he thinks he's figured it out already. |
| 5:39
| Steve still wants David to help him find a clubhouse. The last place he found in the South Loop was about $5 million. |
| 5:40
| David thinks maybe The Nadas could help him find a building in Des Moines. Steve can't talk to David any more, he's really become full of himself. |
| 5:41
| Something happens between David buying radio time during Drew's Weekend Whorehouse and David having lunch with Jeff Schwartz everyday talking about how funny they both are and how they should be on the radio. |
| 5:42
| Steve just thought that since he spends so much on storage he could use a building. |
| 5:43
| Caller Steve heard Buzz's news story about a pizza guy getting cut by a machete. Steve was working at a pizza place in Bridgeport and he had 2 pizzas to take out to two different places. |
| 5:44
| When Steve got to the second house the guy went completely nuts on him. He started swearing them grabbed the pizza warming bag and started hitting him with it. Did he hit him with the pizza or the bag? |
| 5:45
| The guy hit him with the warming bag but then the pizza flew out and burned Steve. Steve went into defense mode and started swinging and then the guy started swinging. |
| 5:46
| Eventually a third of the 9th district police force showed up. He probably didn't get a tip either. The guy was arrested and charged with battery. |
| 5:47
| Did Steve have pizza on his shirt that he could eat while he was in lock-up? Maybe some pepperoni or some sauce? Steve actually didn't end up in the lock-up. |
| 5:48
| Most pizza places give you the 45 minutes to an hour time frame and Steve always expects the worst. Then he's pleasantly surprised if it gets there in 45 minutes. |
| 5:49
| Steve always gives a big tip. If it takes the maximum time he tells the guy "next time, bring mine first." Then the guy knows he's getting a big tip every time and he'll bring the pizza first. |
| 5:50
| People don't always tip but a lot of people consider a tip to be a dollar or less. Steve always tips big. If the bill was $22 he'd give the driver $30. He doesn't like anything less than a 10 in his wallet. |
| 5:51
| Steve has wanting to debut a Pizza Tragedies feature for quite some time and this looks like it's the beginning. He even has a theme song for it. |
| 5:52
| Caller Gary doesn't know if he can top the last one. Caller Steve's story wasn't that good. Steve tried to spice it up but he was fighting him on it. |
| 5:53
| Gary was having a party and decided to order up some pizzas for his guests. The pizzas came fast and it was pouring rain. The guy pulled up but Gary didn't go out there. |
| 5:54
| After a few minutes the guy wasn't at the door so Gary went to investigate. Turns out the guy had locked his keys in the car before getting the pizzas out. Did Gary beat the guy? |
| 5:55
| The pizza guy's girlfriend had a spare set of keys so he asked Gary to drive him over there to get them. Is that when Gary picked up the big boulder and smash it through the window? |
| 5:56
| Gary tried to supply a coat hanger to try to get the lock open. They were going to call the cops but they wouldn't do it for insurance reasons. |
| 5:57
| Just to make it a complete Pizza Tragedies segment Steve will have to take one more call. |
| 5:58
| Steve was trying to buy a bunch of pizza songs on iTunes. One track he bought ended up being a different song because the artist and track names are all different. |
| 6:05
| And now back to Pizza Tragedies. Steve's going to end the segment with a pizza tragedy courtesy of our own Brendan. |
| 6:06
| Back in Iowa, where Brendan went to school for 8 years but did not receive a medical degree, he and some friends were heading to a party and saw a pizza guy making a delivery. |
| 6:07
| Brendan and his friends began pelting the guy with snowballs, which is nice. Brendan hit him right in the back of the head with an icy snowball which angered the guy. They took off running and he started chasing them in his car. |
| 6:08
| Eventually the guy caught up to Brendan and got out of his car with a bat. Brendan was drunk and feeling a little cocky so he told the guy he didn't think he'd hit him because he knew where he worked. |
| 6:09
| Then the guy pulled out a bottle of pepper spray and shot him right in the mouth. Brendan would have rather been hit with the bat. He went down after that and started shoveling snow into his mouth. |
| 6:13
| Bill Kurtis is here to read an open letter from himself to the Peapod customers. |
| 6:14
| Bill is pleased to join Peapod to tell people about Tall Grass Beef. THe story begins when he bought a ranch in Kansas. Buzz is wondering if this story is going to get uncomfortable. |
| 6:15
| How does Buzz like it when Bill works in the acreage of his ranch in the open letter? It's called whipping it out. |
| 6:16
| Bill soon learned how the cow shaped the grasslands of Kansas. They eat grass unlike Bob and Ron who smoke it. |
| 6:17
| Bill's cows are treated very humanely. Just last weekend he took a few of them to see Knocked Up at the local cineplex. |
| 6:18
| More and more doctors are recommending people eat grass-fed beef instead of corn-fed beef. |
| 6:19
| Peapod will now be offering Tall grass Beef. Bill feels your family and your body will thank you for it. |
| 6:20
| Steve has not had the Tall grass Beef yet. Once again Bill is on the cutting edge of something but he probably just lucked into it. Corn prices are skyrocketing because of the biodiesel which means they'll have to start feeding cows more grass. |
| 6:21
| It can't be as good as corn-fed beef but Steve will try some anyway. He hasn't ordered from Peapod since he had that bad experience with the female delivery driver who wouldn't bring the food into his house. |
| 6:22
| Steve's afraid to order from Peapod again in case he gets that same woman. He'll start off making fun of her bad 70s perm but he doesn't know what will happen after that. |
| 6:29
| News with Buzz |
| 6:30
| The Republican presidential debate is under way. We're missing it! |
| 6:31
| Scooter Libby was given 30 months in prison for leaking the identity of a CIA operative. Dick Cheney dodged the heat, HOW 'BOUT THAT! |
| 6:32
| Doctors say Andrew Speaker's TB has a relatively low chance of spreading. Steve thought Buzz was going to say the TB has a low chance of killing him. |
| 6:33
| Congress introduced a bill to fund the fight against TB. Or that Speaker guy could just not fly when he has it. |
| 6:34
| Buzz still hasn't seen Speaker's wife without her mask on. Actually it's not her wife because they still haven't gotten married. That guy is such a chach. He's an Atlanta chach lawyer. |
| 6:35
| Steve's going to fly down to Atlanta, find the Buckhead bar that guy hangs out in and then beat him up in the alley. Then he's going to do his girlfriend on top of a dumpster. Buzz would like to watch. That's fine if that's what he's into. |
| 6:36
| Jack Kevorkian has said his new fight will be for the 9th amendment not the right to physician-assisted suicide. |
| 6:37
| Day 2 of Paris Hilton's prison sentence is not going well. She was overheard complaining on the phone that her cell is too cold and she only has 3 blankets and one pillow, one of which she has to use as a pillow. |
| 6:38
| She's still doing better than Joe Francis though, he broke down much quicker. |
| 6:39
| A judge has thrown out all the lawsuits filed to keep Chief Illiniwek as the University of Illinois' mascot. |
| 6:40
| After watching that Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee movie on HBO Steve can sort of see how Native Americans wouldn't like Chief Illiniwek. That was actually a pretty good movie and HBO is running it a lot. |
| 6:41
| Buzz has been thinking of watching the movie and now he will with Steve's recommendation. He'd also like a reciprocate and recommend Mr. Brooks with Kevin Costner. |
| 6:48
| Fred Thompson is in that Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Pete didn't grab the most compelling drop from the movie but it's sort of boring. |
| 6:49
| There were a few interesting things in the movie though like how the various tribes actually fought each other a lot. It seems like if they would have banded together they could have won. |
| 6:50
| It seems like the people who have the biggest problem with Chief Illiniwek are the irritating students who feel like they need some cause to get behind. |
| 6:51
| Time for some sports. The Yankees and White Sox face off at The Cell tonight at 7:11. Mark Buehrle takes the mound for the Sox. |
| 6:52
| Ozzie Guillen complained that Lou Piniella looked a little slow on Saturday when he walked onto the field to argue a close call at third. |
| 6:53
| Bears GM Jerry Angelo answered email questions from fans on the team's website today. He also did some sweet webcam action, you could ask him to do things like take his pants off but it cost extra. He was just taking over webcam duties from Virginia McCaskey and her Prune Cam. |
| 6:54
| Angelo said that the chances of a Lance Briggs trade were remote and that he believed Rex Grossman would be the team's QB for a long time. |
| 7:00
| That was a very self-effacing drop Pete just played of Stephen Colbert making fun of the Cubs. That was just from last night. |
| 7:01
| Stephen Colbert is pretty funny but Steve always forgets to watch that show. He's worried that he'll inadvertently steal jokes from him or accuse Colbert of stealing jokes from him. |
| 7:02
| Last night Patrick Bertoletti was on Matt's show eating cicadas. He ate about 187 of them which is all Matt had. |
| 7:03
| At one point Patrick shoved about 90 of them in his mouth which is when Matt and Brendan started dry-heaving. |
| 7:04
| Matt and Brendan are done with cicada eating. What's next on the menu, maybe a pizza? |
| 7:05
| Matt sort of wants to get more cicadas just to see how many Patrick can eat. Maybe they could make it some sort of official record which could probably stand for the next 17 years. |
| 7:06
| Doesn't Matt have school stuff to do? The other day Steve had to send him up to his room to finish a paper so he could graduate. Matt needs to graduate or Steve will be in big trouble. |
| 7:07
| There will be serious repercussions if Matt doesn't graduate with his class. It'll be the Brendan Greeley Show with Jim kid. |
| 7:08
| Matt says it's handled. He needs to actually walk across stage on Father's Day at the Allstate Arena with the rest of his class and get a diploma. That means no summer school either. |
| 7:09
| Even though radio has been good to Steve and his family it's still looked down upon in his house. |
