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Monday, June 11, 2007

     
 
2:02 That lead singer from Creed is in a lot of trouble but Stan can't remember why. Terry could Google it but he's already got one foot out the door.
2:03 Stan feels Terry should do it because he's the newspaper guy. He's the fact-checker around here.
2:04 Terry's not a newspaper guy, he gets paid to go out and drink. Over the weekend someone emailed Terry and claimed that he had put an incorrect date in his column for the Columbian Exposition. Terry didn't remember that column but he looked it up and he had the right day.
2:05 Steve gets a lot of that stuff too. Someone came up to him on Saturday and said "loved the concert but the sound was a little louder than your voice."
2:06 Scott Stapp asked a judge to lift a restraining order placed by his wife so that he can see their daughter.
2:07 How does Creed sell 25 million records?
2:08 Drinking and drugs aren't technically Christian. Throwing the bottle at your wife probably doesn't fit into the doctrine either.
2:09 Stan didn't know Scott Stapp was no longer in Creed. It's like Alice down the rabbit hole. Stan doesn't even know any Creed songs, he should stop pretending like he cares about them.
2:10 Other than the one complainer the show on Saturday went really well. Steve didn't see Stan and Terry there though.
2:11 Steve didn't see anyone from the station except Drew. Drew was mad because it took him 2 1/2 hours to get to Mokena. They've been saying for months that the Dan Ryan is bad, you would think he could have found another route.
2:12 Drew is the only person who's come out to support Steve but he's the last person he wants to see. Terry has had something come up every time Steve's had a show.
2:13 Stan's son Jeffrey had a baseball game Saturday night. When is everyone betting Jeffrey will have his first nervous breakdown?
2:14 Stan had to yell at Jeffrey yesterday because he was pumping gas for him and got it all over the car. Did Stan make him lick it off? Jeffrey has pumped gas for his mom but she only gets it from one place. Stan will switch it up with Mobil or Shell.
2:15 Stan let him finish pumping the gas then he told him that when they got in the car he'd see why you shouldn't spill gas on the car. Did Stan hit him?
2:16 You can smell gas if you spill some of it on the outside of the car. How much did he spill on the car?
2:17 Caller Scott wanted to let Stan know that it's illegal for a 10-year old to pump gas He saw a cop stop someone who's kid was pumping gas. He heard you have to be 16. This is all falling apart here.
2:18 Caller Tony is surprised Stan doesn't know that Shell was one of the main contributors to apartheid in the 1980s. They have nothing to do with any of that any more though.
2:19 Caller Walter just left a Citgo on Irving Park and there's a sign that says it's illegal for minors to pump gas. What does minors mean though?
2:20 Caller Jeff has some great pipes. He sees a sign at the Speedway that says you must be 16 to pump gas. So that first guy was right.
2:21 Stan's breaking the law, maybe Jeffrey will call the cops on him. Steve is surprised as anyone that Stan broke the law yesterday but the truth is he did.
2:22 Hopefully Stan offers Jeffrey a full confession at dinner over the sweet potato pie or whatever they eat. Or maybe Stan will just blame Jeffrey for not reading the sticker.
2:27 Song: People Sure Act Funny, Bobby Rush
2:31 Is that Bobby Rush the congressman? It was actually Bobby Rush the blues man, who closed out Blues Fest last night. It gave NBC a great end-of-the-news segue.
2:32 They were doing a story about Bobby Rush the congressman and then segued into footage of Bobby Rush the blues man.
2:33 Instead of saying it was Bobby Rush though they said it was Koko Taylor. It's like one of the newswriters felt that it wasn't Bobby Rush the congressman at Blues Fest so they didn't even mention him. Why does Buzz keep watching NBC?
2:34 Steve has the end of the NBC news from last night to play. Bobby Rush is a big blues man in Chicago.
2:35 He was in that Martin Scorsese blues documentary though. Some guy was interviewing him by his tour bus when he whipped out his harmonica, played about 30 seconds and then casually said "that's the blues." It was one of the coolest things Buzz has ever seen.
2:36 On a final blues note, Buzz will be playing with the Blues Rocket Scientists on Saturday at the Harlem Avenue Lounge in Berwyn. That's at Harlem and Ogden by the White Castle. There's also a good Mexican restaurant near there.
2:37 Steve keeps meaning to go to one of Buzz's gigs. He's playing at the House of Blues at the end of the month, that's pretty convenient.
2:38 Is that a blues brunch? Because they have a gospel brunch every Sunday. Gospel music seems to agitating to have brunch too though.
2:39 Steve felt bad for Buzz on Saturday because he brought the jewel of his amplifier collection but it's only 4 1/2 watts so his stage volume wasn't what he needed.
2:40 The sound guy was poised like a cheetah because he knew he would have to push Buzz's volume up. At some point though he pushed it too much and Buzz could hear bad things happening.
2:41 Steve's amp is 60 watts and most of other amps are about the stage. Steve's was only on one which is more than enough.
2:42 Buzz just ended up using the vocal mic for the harmonica so it was fine. Everyone liked Buzz's performance which is all that matters.
2:43 That was actually Steve's mic from home. At the Cubby Bear show he didn't know he was supposed to bring his own mic. The Nadas bring their own because they know which ones they sound good in.
2:44 The Nadas also don't want to get sick off some used mic that smells like smoke or puke. Steve was a little miffed at the Cubby Bear show when he went to talk in Jason's mic and he had a really sweet, nice-smelling mic.
2:45 On Saturday Steve brought an array of vocal mics with him. Steve had the SM87 mic which was sweet because it has a spot for your lips.
2:46 Then The Nadas were jealous because Steve had better mics than they did. They gave him a bar mic the last time! He could have gotten AIDS!
2:47 Steve was on The Nadas bus on Saturday and that thing needs a full cleaning, it's funky. It might not have been cleaned since they bought it from Meat Loaf.
2:48 Jason prefaced things by saying "the bus is a little messy". When a dude says that you know things are bad because dudes have a pretty high tolerance for that kind of stuff.
2:49 The Nadas also have a 14-passenger van that's pretty funky. You could see fast food wrappers from at least the last 3 weeks.
2:50 The Nadas sound guy Chris put tape on Steve's mic so they'd know it was his. He's a good sound guy and he also drives the bus.
2:51 Their road manager Tyler also drives the bus but he was off-duty on Saturday because he was pretty hammered. Steve still hasn't really figured out what Tyler does, other than carrying around the briefcase.
2:52 As far as Steve knows there was nothing in that briefcase except a check he gave the band.
2:53 Hopefully Tom from Shure microphones is listening to the show today. He got a little mad when Steve went with Electrovoice mics in the studio.
2:54 Tom had lent Steve some Shure mics for the studio. Steve thought they were his to keep but apparently not. On stage Steve and Buzz use Shure mics though.
2:55 Buzz has a vintage Green Bullet mic and one from when Shure re-issued them a few years ago. The first 10 off the assembly line were given to some really good harmonica players. Buzz got #6.
2:56 When Tom saw a photo of the new studio he sort of freaked out. He might have thought Steve was cheating on him but there are some things he just can't control.
2:57 Live read: Fitness Factory Outlet
2:58 Steve got an email from a girl who was at the show on Saturday and she said he looked hot. Buzz really liked his Tommy Bahama shirt, as they say in the clothing business "it popped!"
2:59 The Pearl Room is a big rock club, they do a lot of heavy metal there based on the posters Steve saw. There was an upstairs area with a VIP lounge attached to the dressing rooms.
3:00 The room was pretty enjoyable after the show. Beforehand Steve was just in his dressing room fretting. But after the show Mike and Matt and all the kids from the show and The Nadas were all sitting there.
3:01 Ed Silha got into some sort of Templeton Rye thing with The Nadas. It was some sort of bootleg whiskey that Al Capone brought into Chicago but now The Nadas are actually making it. Ed is so into it that he calls it TR.
3:02 Tyler might actually be in charge of the bottle of whiskey. They're running out of the very first batch they made so Jason knows exactly how many are left. He gave Ed half of a bottle but he couldn't find any shot glasses.
3:03 Then Steve left and took The Nadas rhythm section back to his hotel. It was on his way so he couldn't say no and they were tired and wanted to go to sleep.
3:04 Steve won't name the hotel but there was blood on the top sheet of his bed. It had been laundered though so at least it was clean blood. Steve only slept for a half hour and then went down to the lobby and drank coffee until it was time to leave.
3:05 Steve thought about stopping at Buffalo Wild Wings before the show but he knew that he'd eat too many and would be in no condition to perform.
3:06 After Steve dropped the two Nadas off at the hotel he thought about going to Buffalo Wild Wings again because it was still open. He didn't want to eat 24 wings and then fall asleep no the way home.
3:07 Closer to Steve's house he stopped at a White Castle. One thing he's figured out about that place is that it's faster to go inside and order when it's late at night.
3:08 Then there was a guy there who Steve sort of knew but hadn't seen in about 15 years. He was telling him about all the people they knew who had died
3:09 Steve needs to take a break because he's trying to not fall behind on the breaks. There's some stupid rule that someone made up so people would follow the format. If you don't play the break within 15 minutes before or after they're supposed to air you have to write every commercial down on a separate piece of paper and indicate that it ran late or early.
3:10 There are two things that corporate shills hide behind, human resources and the Sarbanes-Oxley law. Drew invokes the Sarbanes-Oxley whenever Steve brings up this commercial thing.
3:11 Sarbanes-Oxley has something to do with insider trading. There are different prices for ads on the show depending on what time they're going to run. Steve feels that if the sales people worked hard enough they could get it all at one price.
3:15 There's a White Castle by the Pearl Room and when Steve came out and saw their gleaming white sign he knew he had to have some.
3:16 He had to go a little out of his way to get to the White Castle near his house but it was worth it.
3:17 The Sarbanes-Oxley Act changed the way corporate boards and executives interact with each other and auditors. It also removes the "I wasn't aware of financial issues" defense used by CEOs or CFOs. So Drew wasn't lying about that.
3:18 Live read: DeWalt
3:19 Steve's back on Balance for Life which you have to do after he got some pizza and fried shrimp to watch the final episode of The Sopranos. You've got to go Italian! Buzz had pasta.
3:20 Whatever damage Steve did over the weekend should even out by the end of the week and he might even be lower than he was last Friday.
3:21 Steve can only be deprived of so much and he had to hit The Castle on the way home Saturday night. Inside is the play you want to make at White Castle, it took him about a minute to order and get his food.
3:22 They're constantly making burgers in there so everything comes out really quickly.
3:23 Live read: Balance for Life
3:24 Steve was given a CD with a few songs from Saturday. He hasn't heard it yet but he assumes it sounds good. He's going to play Crucifixion Steaks, which is a song he hasn't done in a while.
3:25 When Steve wrote the song he was at AM1000. Jim DeCastro was trying to get the Notre Dame football games for the station. At the time, Jim and Tammy Faye had opened their religious-themed amusement park which featured The Passion Play dinner theater. Steve thought that was a weird combination of entertainment and religion so he said they were serving crucifixion steaks there.
3:26 Steve thought he was saying that more on behalf of organized religion but the Notre Dame people didn't see it that way and pulled out of AM1000.
3:27 The song also references Ed Schwartz's attempts to sue Steve because he called him a fat pig. He also said he didn't like Fred WInston's chili and he also tried to sue him.
3:34 Steve might be the only person who still cares about Eddie Schwartz. He's the only one who still puts him on the air. Buzz heard he's writing again, that's good.
3:35 You can't sue someone for calling you a fat pig when you weigh 800 pounds. In the song Steve shaved off 200 pounds just to show he's not the bad person everyone thinks he is.
3:36 Song: Crucifixion Steaks, Steve Dahl & the Dahlfins
3:40 If Steve were mixing that song he'd probably turn the guitar down at the end but that recording was right off the board. It's also the first time they'd done the song live. Those guys are good.
3:41 Steve accidentally called down to the news room. Jim had a great time at the show. That's not why Steve called though. Steve saw Jim and his girlfriend, who's not black, at the show.
3:42 Steve sort of gets the feeling that the girlfriend is getting sick of that. It's not Steve who says it to her though, random people just walk up and ask her. Towards the end of the night Buzz saw Jim's girlfriend sitting by herself and asked her if she was offended when people say she doesn't appear to be black. Did she then slap Buzz?
3:43 Steve was being driven nuts on Saturday night because all the food smelled really good but people kept telling him it didn't taste good. Steve's a little disappointed at Jill for not getting better food.
3:44 Palermo's Pizza in Frankfort sent over some pizza on Saturday afternoon that was very good though. Steve was not happy with how The Nadas ate the pizza though.
3:45 They got three pizzas and everyone from the band just tore into it, grabbing a piece from each box and then leaving it open. Steve hates when people do that because all the heat escapes.
3:46 Jill really dropped the ball on the late-night food though. The Cheeseburger in Paradise guys probably could have done something nice.
3:47 Jill did a good job with everything else though but the food was disappointing. And Steve was being warned by non-snobbish people not to eat the food.
3:48 Steve meant to call Jill but he called Jim. It was good to talk to Jim though, he seemed to be having a good time though. He was a lot more low-key than some other staff members. Pete might have date raped him.
3:49 Pete was drunk and he grabbed Steve's arm. Steve told him to stop and then he started grabbing his muscles. He might file charges and Pete thinks he has a case.
3:51 On the phone is Luke Stuckmeyer from Comcast Sportsnet. Luke would like to say everyone is talking about sports but everyone is talking about The Sopranos.
3:52 Steve was disappointed about The Sopranos ending at first but the more he thought about it the more he liked it. In that whole last scene you thought he was going to get whacked but that just shows you that his life will go on with that constant fear.
3:53 Plus it had the nice White Sox/Journey tie-in. The Sox are dead to Steve now. Haven't they won only 2 out of their last 19?
3:54 Before yesterday the Sox had lost 12 of their last 14 games. They're in Philly tonight and Jim Thome will be on via satellite. Of course they're facing Aaron Rowand who's having a career year.
3:55 Steve saw Ryan Dumpster of the Cubs fall off the mound last night. He hasn't seen that since Pink Floyd did that for the Sox in spring training.
3:56 That resulted in a wild pitch which lost the game for the Cubs. It was a crazy game from 11 pitches in. Ted Lilly got thrown out after hitting the 3rd batter in the game even though no warnings were issued.
3:57 The Bears have another week of OTAs coming up. Tommie Harris is back working out but you probably won't see Lance Briggs all summer.
3:58 Steve felt really bad for Tommie Harris and Mike Brown because they missed the Super Bowl. Then he started feeling bad for himself because he had to sit in the rain in shorts and they lost. Of course if they'd won it would have taken on a mythical status like the rain is Papa Bear's tears.
3:59 It was quite a comedown from the Devin Hester touchdown, then the interception, then the Thomas Jones run. Plus Steve missed the Prince halftime show because he had to use the bathroom.
4:00 Steve had to dump everything Luke just said. This is the second problem we've had with a Comcast person. Those cable guys think they can say anything.
4:01 Steve's not mad and he's not scolding Luke. Luke said something but Steve probably made it worse but he took it all out anyway.
4:02 Comcast has the Sox game tonight at 6:00 and then the Cubs/Astros make-up game on Comcast Plus.
4:03 Luke knows that Steve's not mad right? Because Steve doesn't want to see a sad little face on Comcast tonight.
4:04 Buzz sent Luke some summer sausage since he'd never heard of it. No wonder he thinks he can talk dirty. Was it Luke we were talking to about summer sausage? Steve thought it was Chuck Garfein or Pat Boyle.
4:05 Buzz sent it to Luke so that means he's got someone else's summer sausage.
4:09 Luke Stuckmeyer is on the phone. He did get a sausage but it didn't say who it was from. It didn't say "love Buzz"?
4:10 Luke got a giant sausage in a box last week and it's now become a running joke at the station. The card says "as promised" but the name was blurred out by the rain.
4:11 That sausage was meant for Pat Boyle but it's been sitting on Luke's desk. Luke's just glad to know who this is from.
4:12 People have been making fun of Luke since he got it but Pat has been on vacation since last week.
4:13 A couple of weeks ago Luke got 2 deodorant sticks and a basketball jersey and that also didn't say who it was from. He thought it was from the same person.
4:14 Buzz's follow-through is so bizarre. It was very late at night and once he found the Hickory Farms website it was so easy to send it out.
4:15 Buzz claims that he gives out summer sausage every Christmas but it's from Target. Steve feels the quality of sausage at Target is not as high as what he could get from Hickory Farms. Buzz thinks Steve is biased against Target. He's really only biased against Buzz's dirty gym bag, which he carries the sausages to work in before he gives them out.
4:20 Caller Roxanne has to be sick of people making Police references to her. She's actually not, Steve and Buzz can go ahead and sing if they want.
4:21 Roxanne has bought Hickory Farms products at Target. There's nothing wrong with that, Steve has nothing against Target. It's Buzz's dirty gym bag that he has the problem with.
4:22 Buzz has never been to a free-standing Hickory Farms store in a mall. At Target he just grabs handfuls from a cardboard stand. Then he puts a red-ribbon on them. Each sausage gets a ribbon.
4:23 Is Buzz going to start giving away summer sausage again at Christmas because Steve would love one. Buzz really gets a kick out of handing out the sausages and then watching people leave with them. If he gives one to Drew it'll be just as tall as he is.
4:24 Before headlines Steve needs to make a phone call. The call doesn't seem to be going through though. How can that be?
4:25 Steve wanted to call Drew to thank him for coming out to the show on Saturday. He's the only person from the station who comes to support him.
4:26 Drew had a good time, he loves Steve's music. He didn't eat any food off the trays though but he would have warned Steve if he'd seen them.
4:27 Buzz was near Drew during the show and he was paying completely attention to the stage. He was rocking too.
4:28 Drew wants to be the chronicler of all the songs for the younger people who are there so he explains the meaning behind all of them. That's weird to Steve because it seems like Drew has adult ADD.
4:29 It took Drew and hour and a half to get down there via the Dan Ryan. They lure you in with the express lanes and then you get into it and it comes to a complete stop.
4:30 Besides Jill and Carolyn from promotions Drew is the only person with a perfect attendance record at Steve's shows. Rod Zimmerman came to the first one only because it's near his house.
4:35 Live read: Balance For Life
4:36 Headlines with Buzz
4:37 The US Appeals Court ruled that the Bush administration does not have the right to detain citizens and hold them indefinitely as enemy combatants. The ruling also means the government must release Ali al-Marri, which is delicious.
4:38 In George a judge ruled that Genarow Wilson can be released from prison after being sentenced to 10 years for having consensual oral sex with a 15-year old girl while he was 17.
4:39 Wilson's attorney begged the Attorney General not to appeal that decision but he did anyway so he's still in prison. 17 to 15 doesn't seem all that bad.
4:40 Paris Hilton has given her first jailhouse interview to Barbara Walters. He revealed that her medical condition was related to her refusing to eat or drink anything for fear that a guard would take a picture of her using the bathroom and sell it to an internet site. There are probably a lot worse photos of her on the internet than that.
4:41 Last fall Steve signed up for that Paris Exposed website. It featured photos and videos that someone had purchased from a storage locker she abandoned. Then her lawyers got the site taken down.
4:42 Brendan was trying to tell Steve earlier that the website was back up but he started rambling a little bit. Does Brendan still have the password because Steve paid for a one-year membership. Brendan wrote it down somewhere but he can't remember the password.
4:43 Paris has now said she found God and will no longer act stupid because it's not funny. She found God in a day?
4:44 Steve purchased a one-year membership and then they shut the site down the next day. He really needs to get back in and see all this stuff.
4:45 The Smoking Gun has a few pictures from the Paris Exposed website and one of them features her on a toilet.
4:46 There are also photos of her and Nicole Richie at a urinal, Paris pretending to smoke a tampon like a cigar and Paris talking on a headset while the phone is stuffed in her panties. Maybe Steve doesn't need to log back in.
4:47 In St. Petersburg, the girl who's marathon case of hiccups has run away from home. It's fake right?
4:48 TMZ has learned that Paris Hilton suffers from severe ADD and claustrophobia. Does she get mad if no one's paying her any attention?
4:49 At one point Paris was too debilitated to even push the panic button in her cell but now she's not crying and is writing down her thoughts on a pad of paper. That shouldn't take too long.
4:50 If Paris Hilton was on Adderall they shouldn't just take her off it cold turkey. You can really freak out if you come off it too fast.
4:58 Paris was photographed before going to jail coming out of a Borders with a bible. It's nice that she can find God so quickly.
4:59 Buzz can't wait to hear her when she's smart. Steve doesn't think she's dumb she's just rich and spoiled and comes off dumb.
5:00 It's seems like you'll need more than 2 days in prison to find God. It sort of has the feel of when you're throwing up into a toilet promising God you'll never drink again.
5:01 Adderall is used to treat ADD, ADHD and narcolepsy. Steve wouldn't mind a hit of that but he's going to go in a different direction.
5:02 It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve's having a taco with the mild sauce. Tom Thayer was here on Friday and he an extreme quesadilla which he really enjoyed.
5:03 The Taco Bell people offered up their Bourbonnais location as a place for Steve and Buzz to broadcast from if they go down to training camp. Steve will probably want to be on the field but they could send some tacos over.
5:04 On Saturday Steve introduced a new song that he wrote. Sometimes if you write a song in the regular guitar tuning everything sounds the same, so it's hard to tell if what you're doing is something new. Steve wrote the song with a capo on the second fret which changes the tuning.
5:05 Even though Steve rehearsed the song with the band that afternoon he made 3 or 4 attempts during the show. We can't play those attempts on the air because there's a lot of profanity in it. He'll just start it from the attempt where he got it right.
5:06 Steve's still not happy with the bridge and he might have been trying to be a little too fancy with the capo, but it looks really cool when you have it on there.
5:07 Steve's trying to decide if he wants to play this song or a different song, at least for now. He needs to listen to it again because there might be some disparaging things about sponsors in there.
5:08 Song: Cicada, Steve Dahl & the Dahlfins
5:10 Steve caught Buzz eating another taco. He might have to have one more just to do things in threes. Like 300 pounds.
5:13 Steve might be having his third taco right now but that won't stop him from doing some sports. Why should it? It might slow him down a little. It's really hard to leave a taco unfinished.
5:14 Drew made a gratuitous appearance down in the studio during the last break. Steve made the phone call earlier just so he wouldn't come down here.
5:15 Drew likes to be down by the studio where all the action is. He should have been more talented. That's God though, that's not Steve.
5:16 Steve loved that show after The Sopranos last night, John From Cincinnati. It's tough to shift gears from The Sopranos to a show like that but it was really good.
5:17 The White Sox are in Philadelphia tonight. Javier Vazquez starts for the Sox against Adam Eaton. Maybe Aaron Rowand could accidentally get on the Sox team bus when they leave.
5:18 The Cubs host the Astros for a make-up game since they were already in town playing the White Sox.
5:19 Mike Ditka continued his war of words against NFL players union chief Gene Upshaw. Coach is mad at the players union for refusing injury claims from some retired players.
5:20 It seems like if you're in the NFL and you go to the players union because of an injury they'd believe you. Coach is probably tired of his football buddies asking him for money.
5:28 Pat Hughes and Ron Santo were talking about American Idol last night during the Cubs game which is very timely. It's only been off the air for a month or so.
5:29 Simon Cowell is going to be on with Steve Cochrane and not a moment too soon. Who cares about him now?
5:30 Live read: Gierczyk Properties
5:31 Dateline LA, Paris Hilton's jail cell in the medical unit of the Twin Towers correctional facility is referred to as "the crazy ward" because is houses psychiatric patients. That's a good name for it then.
5:32 Denise Allen stayed in the ward because he had seizures and called it the worst of the worst. She did time with a woman who thought she was Spider-Man and spun toilet paper into makeshift webs. That's entertainment behind bars though.
5:33 Inmates where bright yellow jumpsuits and people on suicide watch are giving special blankets and jumpsuits that they can't tear into strips to hang themselves with.
5:34 Another prisoner called it "the dungeon" after spending time there with torn ligaments. How does that happen in prison?
5:35 Prisoners in the medical unit are served mystery-meat sandwiches which are commonly referred to as s___ on a shingle.
5:36 Buzz hates to enjoy someone's incarceration the way he's enjoying this. He doesn't want it to go on for too long though.
5:37 We have been hearing about everyday that she's spent in jail. We heard everything about Martha Stewart's time in jail too but she looks like Al Capone compared to Paris. Martha is also a self-made woman.
5:38 Steve's not a doctor but his medical opinion is that Paris was on Adderall and then Zanax to come down from the Adderall. You can't go cold turkey on the Zanax either.
5:39 If we have to hear about Paris everyday Buzz is hoping she at least keeps it interesting. He's wondering what will happen after she gets out though, will she drop Jesus like a hot potato?
5:40 Paris is writing her thoughts down which shouldn't take long. She's also reading that book The Secret. It seems to have helped a lot of people but if it's on Oprah it's not for Steve.
5:41 Steve won't do her full sentence either so what's a few weeks in prison? There are times when Buzz wouldn't mind 3 weeks in prison. For Steve the worst part of prison would be who else has access to you. In Paris' case she's completely alone in her cell in a special area.
5:42 It doesn't sound that bad to Buzz, she can nap all day and she has access to the prescription meds she needs. Steve doesn't think she can get the meds unless she's in the medical ward.
5:43 Steve doesn't really know that much about prison so he's not sure how it works. Buzz seems to have a working knowledge of prison but it's not contemporary, more like Cool Hand Luke.
5:44 Buzz is imagining a nice one-person cell where Paris can just hang out and read The Secret all day, trying to figure out what the secret is.
5:45 Does anyone know what the secret is? Buzz has been reading a magazine that features one highlighted line in every article that sums the whole thing up in case you don't have time to read the whole thing.
5:46 Paris had a visit from her lawyer today and her psychiatrist, but not Stavros or Nikki. Who's Stavros? Is that Nikki's boyfriend? Buzz thought it was Paris' on-again-off-again boyfriend. He dates a lot of those starlets.
5:47 Caller Doug works at a drug treatment center. About 80% of the people who come to them are from prison. In jail you can get prescription drugs in the normal cellblock but you only get the doctor recommended dosage.
5:48 Stavros is a professional kiteboarder and a Greek shipping heir. He's dated Paris, Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen. It hasn't ended well for any of those girls.
5:49 Caller Megan has some info about The Secret. It's basically all about putting out a good vibe and getting a good vibe back. It's like karma.
5:50 Is that Stavros guy at least handsome? Buzz says he's very handsome. All those Greek guys are. Steve's always finding hair in his flaming saganaki.
5:51 Live read: Townstone Financial
5:57 The other thing about Paris is that she might not be on prescribed medication. She's a partier and might be dumb enough to think that you can party right up until you go to prison. Then she detoxes.
5:58 If you want to stay up on all the Paris stuff just go to TMZ.com. Every 20 seconds they're updating something.
5:59 TMZ seems like the best site for all of this stuff. A lot of the other gossip sites waste a lot of time being bitchy but Steve just wants the facts.
6:00 That Stavros guy doesn't look handsome enough to be pulling that kind of tail but maybe that's what the young girls are into.
6:01 Buzz isn't ready to do the news so Steve's going to play another song from Saturday. It's the first time he's played this song without a piano and the first time he played it with The Nadas as The Dahlfins.
6:02 Song: Comiskey Park, Steve Dahl & the Dahlfins
6:06 Steve didn't listen to that because he doesn't like hearing himself but he was told it was all good. He heard some scat singing at the end which he'd like to take back.
6:07 People said they had a good time though and Steve had a good time he just doesn't want to hear himself. The next show is July 14th
6:08 Buzz remembered it was July 14th because that's one of his favorite holidays, Bastille Day. That's where the rebels stormed the prison to release the captives but there were only 3 people in there.
6:09 Steve remembers when Buzz's interest in Bastille Day first developed. He was living across the street from a French restaurant that had a huge Bastille Day celebration every year.
6:10 Live read: Cheeseburger in Paradise
6:11 Is Buzz ready for the news? Steve doesn't have the CD yet. Run Jim! It took longer for Jim to bring the CD in than if Steve had ordered it from Amazon. He was all shaky and fidgety, it was like a game of Knick-Knack Paddy-Wack.
6:12 News with Buzz
6:13 The GOP blocked a no-confidence vote by the Democrats on Alberto Gonzales. Who cares? It's just another meaningless vote from the Democrats. You can't shame any of these people anyway.
6:14 If the election were held today John Edwards would face off against Rudy Giuliani. They have to get the nomination from their parties first though.
6:15 A woman in a hotel in Pueblo, Colorado has died from TB. No word on if it's connected to the globe-trotting TB lawyer though. The weird thing is that pueblo means lung in Spanish. Not really.
6:16 A Georgia Attorney General is appealing a judge's order to release a 21-year old man sentenced to 10 years in jail for having oral sex with a 15-year old girl when he was 17.
6:17 Steve played the wrong CD which he knew was going to happen because he put the CD in himself. Where did he put the CD?
6:18 Steve put the CD in and it said "no disc". Now it says there's a disc in there.
6:19 Former actor Robert Conrad has been given an early release for probation that he was serving for drunk driving.
6:20 2 men who prosecuted Nazis at Nuremberg are no speaking out against the Guantanamo tribunals.
6:21 Where does Buzz get these stories from? He sees Nazis and he gravitates towards it.
6:22 Police in Plainville, Illinois have used cadaver dogs to search the home of Lisa Stebic. Is he sure that's not Plainfield? The Naperville Sun reports that the dogs had a positive hit at the home. She lived there though, of course it's a positive hit!
6:24 Mark Czerniec is on the phone. Cadaver dogs were searching in Lisa Stebic's house and they had a positive hit. But that could just be a dead rat or maybe even some bad meatloaf.
6:25 It was in Plainfield though, not Plainville. People were calling in and saying there is a place called Plainville but that's what we get for answering the phone. Maybe Buzz was thinking of Smallville?
6:26 Steve would have been Lisa Stebic's workout partner but her Craigslist ad said no dudes.
6:27 Actually she was looking for a walking partner and Steve's a good walker. He feels it's sort of sexist that she said no dudes. Just because he's a dude doesn't mean he'd try to get up on her at the forest preserve. He probably would though.
6:31 Buzz is probably right, that Lisa Stebic thing won't end well.
6:32 Steve still has 2 more audio cuts for Buzz's news, Barbara Walters on Paris Hilton and some reaction to The Sopranos finale. Does he want to hear them now?
6:33 Barbara Walters talked to Paris Hilton today on the phone. Prison doesn't sound too bad if you can use the phone that much.
6:34 At first Buzz was disappointed by the ending, he couldn't believe they were going to do that to him. He didn't want Tony to die though because he wanted to imagine him still running the whole New Jersey family.
6:35 The Phil Leotardo hit was pretty sweet but Buzz didn't really get to savor it because he was worried about what would happen to Tony.
6:36 When you think about it though it was a pretty good episode. Steve thought his cable went out at the end, at the worst possible time.
6:37 Those onion rings looked really good though. Steve could use some or maybe a nice onion loaf.
6:38 Steve has yet to take a box of tapes from Pete's room. Steve still would like to know about that unwanted touching on Saturday. Pete wanted it.
6:39 It was after the show and Pete was drunk but Steve wasn't. Pete came up and started touching him and Steve told him to stop. Then Pete tripled-down and starting rubbing his muscles.
6:40 Buzz would like to say he's experienced something similar. Steve has never experienced anything like it. Half the time Pete doesn't even look Steve in the eyes!
6:41 Pete didn't even think about it until Sunday afternoon. It was probably the most uncomfortable thing that's ever happened to Steve. Maybe Pete likes Steve taking the boxes out more than we know. He likes him going alpha male. Plus it's probably sexy when he bends over to pick up that box.
6:45 If you go to Dahl.com on the front page you can see a staff photo of everyone in attendance on Saturday night. It'll give you a feel of how much Pete was touching Steve.
6:46 Caller Wade wanted to remind Steve about an episode earlier in this season of The Sopranos. Tony and Bobby were in a boat talking about what it's like to be whacked. Tony said it probably just fades to black.
6:47 In almost every scene last night Steve thought something bad was going to happen. When Paulie was sitting outside and the cat walked by he was expecting a truck to crash into him.
6:48 Steve's coming into Pete's studio to get a box now. Pete always comes into the main studio after Steve tells him to. Apparently he likes doing what Steve tells him to.
6:49 Pete couldn't look happier in this photo from Saturday. That's probably because he thinks he's going to have his way with him. Buzz should watch out at his next gig.
6:50 Buzz doesn't think he'd mind a rub-down after his next gig. Now Steve's wondering why he was fighting it. At least he put-out.
6:51 It still takes Pete too long to get in here because there are a lot of tapes left in his studio. That only highlights the purpose of all of this.
6:52 On 11/11/01 a tape with 60 Minutes, ESPN, King of the Hill, Simpsons, Malcolm and a Band of Brothers documentary. That can probably go. Also a a cable showing of Miracle, the Kurt Russell vehicle. Why not just get the DVD
6:53 On 10/21/04 the Keyes/Obama debate. That might be worth keeping actually. Technically Pete gets to keep this box, this has never happened before. We'll just assume that tape was misfiled. Now that Pete touched Steve he's starting to think like him! Steve wants to please his man although he felt like he was the chick in that situation. He felt like a slut although that wasn't too bad.
6:54 Alright this box can go, Stephanie can wheel in the cart now. This always seems to bring a smile to Stephanie's face. One can only imagine what Pete's done to her at a post-show party.
6:58 The Matt Dahl Show is coming up featuring Matt Dahl or Hef as Steve likes to call him. Steve left his own VIP party and had to defer to Matt before he left. He was surrounded by women.
6:59 Matt and Brendan rolled down to Mokena in a stretch limo from My Chauaffeur.They even made it through the drive-thru at White Castle just like in the commercial.
7:00 Matt ended up having to pay for the limo and he did not feel good signing that bill. It really wasn't too much money considering how long they had it for.
7:01 There were other people in the limo too and Matt's been shaking them down. Pete offered to pay him too. He'll probably pay him in sex.

 

 

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