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		Thursday, July 5, 2007



2:03	Terry got a phishing email from some guy with 250 kilos of gold dust that he needs help unloading.
2:04	Terry's too late, Steve's already helping that same guy. He gave the guy all of info. Today and tomorrow will probably be his last days of work between the gold dust money and the Nigerian money.
2:05	Steve is back and he looks tan. Terry looks tan as well. Stan's just glad Steve survived the fire on Maui.
2:06	The fire closed down the road and Steve and his family were on the other side of the island. They had to rent another hotel room because they couldn't get back to their hotel.
2:07	Steve and his family got the last two rooms on the other side. Ed was also there and he had a much nicer room in a nicer hotel. Steve feels he should have offered up his room.
2:08	He probably would have offered up his room if there wasn't something weird going on in there. It's probably a no-fly zone.
2:09	When they tried to drive back to the other side of the island they got stuck in a traffic jam. Then some guy on the radio said the road was completely closed so Steve called Civil Defense.
2:10	Terry and his wife are going to Maui at the end of the month. Aren't mixed-marriages illegal over there? It's not really illegal, Terry has been there with his wife before.
2:11	Stan thought Hawaii was really progressive, it is the rainbow state. Isn't the college team the Rainbow Warriors?
2:12	The University of Hawaii actually dropped rainbow from their name. Rainbow Warriors sounds like a gay bar.
2:13	Whenever Steve goes on vacation tons of stuff happens. During the hiatus that Channahon guy was arrested, that wrestler dude killed his family and Tank Johnson was pulled over. He wasn't drunk though.
2:14	Steve needs to start a seminar for professional athletes. They're all millionaires, they can afford a limo. Tank should have played the race card when he got pulled over though.
2:15	Steve felt bad for Tank though. It seems like the Bears could have waited until the blood-alcohol test results came back. It seems like Lovie got the Bears to back Tank in the first place and then he gets pulled over and someone else steps in.
2:16	Arizona roads are really fun to drive on but there's a lot of law enforcement out there. Stan always thought you could drive as fast as you wanted to since it's all desert.
2:17	Steve got tagged doing 95 on his way to Iowa in May. Steve normally uses the jack-rabbit theory of letting someone in front of him go faster than he is, that way that guy gets pulled over.
2:18	Steve wasn't able to do that on this particular trip. He's going to save some of this for his own show but he had to make a court appearance over the hiatus because of the ticket.
2:19	Stan feels that if you have a groovy car, you should be able to drive it as fast as you want on the open road, as long as it's properly maintained.
2:20	Steve has a high-performance vehicle, he has to go fast or else the car will be damaged.
2:21	On the way home from the court appearance Steve did 55 the entire way. He was getting passed by trucks, motorcycles and people walking.
2:22	When Steve finally stopped his car wasn't pinging but it was making a weird noise. It sounded like a helicopter was hovering over him.
2:23	The truckers were really getting mad at Steve for going so slow but he had to stay at 55. Then he got off and the speed limit for the I-Pass lane of the ramp was 15. Steve was doing 30 and thought he'd be immediately pulled over and arrested.
2:24	It's really hard to do 45 through a construction zone too. Even the guys working on the road are yelling at you to go faster.
2:25	Stan always sees light posts that extend over the highway with cameras on them but he doesn't know what they are.
2:26	There's a guy on hold from the Porsche Club but Steve doesn't want to talk to him. He knows what it is,it's just a track down in Joliet.
2:27	A lot of people think Steve's car is a chick car. It was the one that Tony bought Carmela on The Sopranos. Steve doesn't think he'd look too cool with his car at the Porsche Club.
2:28	Caller Mike is in the air with Stan and Terry and Steve on Chicago's FM Talk Station.
2:29	Mike has some info about those cameras above the road. They're used to measure the weight of trucks and also determine if any trucks skipped the weigh station. How do they do that? Magic? Mike owns a trucking company and the state makes a lot of money with those cameras.
2:30	Caller Steve is in the air with Stan and Terry and Steve Dahl on Chicago's FM Talk Station.
2:31	Caller Vince is in the air with Stan and Terry and Steve Dahl on Chicago's FM Talk Station. Steve wants Stan to record a similar phone greeting for his show.
2:32	Vince has some more info about those overhead cameras that Stan sees. They communicate with transponders in trucks to tell the driver if he needs to go to the weigh station. There are also weight sensors underneath the road.
2:41	It's Thursday which means it's time for Music Snob Corner. Pete is glad to be back. Did Pete go on vacation?
2:42	Pete went to New York City. Was he there to hear cool music? Pete was there with Catman, the guy who tried twice in one night to steal Ed Silha's date.
2:43	That was also the night he came to Matt Dahl's birthday and totally ignored Steve. Pete feels he was nervous but he faults himself for not introducing Pat to Steve.
2:44	Pete worked here for three years before even making eye contact with Steve. Catman could have been having the same problem.
2:45	So Pete and Catman went to New York. He's called Catman for the obvious reason right? Did he nickname himself because he has the look of a guy who would nickname himself.
2:46	Pete has probably been convinced that he came up with the nickname himself.
2:47	Just so everyone out there listening knows, Steve is talking to Pete right now. Apparently during the Best of Dahl people call in demanding to know who Steve is talking to. What does it matter as long as it's interesting?
2:48	Pete was a little nervous traveling with Catman. He seems like an every-man-for-himself type of person after a few cocktails.
2:49	On the first night they went out Catman said something to a girl and she replied "easy cheesy". That just further backs up Steve's assessment of Catman.
2:50	That put Catman in his place and he ended up being pretty subdued for the rest of the trip. Where do Pete and Catman go when they get to New York, Coyote Ugly?
2:51	Catman did want to go to Larry Flynt's club. Do they have topless wheelchair waitresses?
2:52	Pete and Catman were up near all the TV studios because they had tickets for Stephen Colbert's show. It's a lot like Vegas up there, very over-the-top.
2:53	Did Pete and Catman hit up Chili's or get some authentic New York pizza at Sbarro?
2:54	Where they at a Cats-themed bar on the first night? Pete doesn't remember what bar he was at but it was across from a place called Matt's Grill. Pete wanted to get something there for Matt Dahl but was worried about setting a precedent.
2:55	Steve didn't bring anything back for anyone but he usually doesn't so there's only a half-hour of disappointment and then everyone is fine. So far the only person who's been disappointed is Bonnie from Stan and Terry's show.
2:56	If Steve was going to bring stuff back for people Bonnie wouldn't not be one of them.
2:57	In case this makes the Best of Steve is talking to Production Pete. Why is Jim taking calls during the Best of? Is he trying to pull some tail off the request line?
2:58	So Pete and Catman are in New York. No matter what Pete says the Catman is self-nicknamed.
2:59	Did they talk about Pete touching Steve at the last Dahlfins show? That's not going to happen again is it?
3:00	So Pat was putting the moves on some girl and she said "easy cheesy". It was the bartender too, which is pretty hardcore.
3:01	The area Pete and Catman were in is pretty touristy, hence why those two knuckleheads were there. If Pete ever goes back to New York he'd probably avoid that area.
3:02	Pete only took one picture on his trip of a place called Greeley Square. Maybe Pete should buy gifts for people since he's thinking of them on his entire trip. They have all the same stuff we have here except it says "I Love New York".
3:03	Pete also went to a Yankees game while in New York, he wanted to see Yankee Stadium before it was torn down. It's kind of a dump but Pete is a guy who likes Wrigley Field.
3:04	Their seats were so high up that every time someone hit a pop-up Pete had an anxiety attack and clutched his seat. Sounds like they were in some great seats!
3:05	Is this a long story because Steve needs to take another break to catch up. Is Buzz even here yet or is he still in Lake Geneva?
3:07	So Steve is talking to Pete Zimmerman, the production guy. He's telling his story about his trip to New York then he'll play his song. This is really the only time during the week and Steve and Pete talk.
3:08	On the first night of the trip Pete and Catman went to the Colbert Report taping. On Friday they walked around and went to some trendy shops. What kind of shops do two dudes go to? Did they buy a couple pairs of $600 blue jeans?
3:09	Catman did buy a fake Rolex off the street in Chinatown. They didn't eat there but they should have. They have great Chinese food in Chinatown and great Italian food in Little Italy.
3:10	When they were walking around they happened to notice some people unloading video equipment. Did Pete and Catman end up in a porno, is that where this is going?
3:11	Catman asked one of the people what was going on and they said they were filming a music video for Regina Spektor. Pete loves her so his ears perked up. Then he asked what song the video was for. If it was a song Pete didn't like would he have left?
3:12	The guy on the crew didn't know what song the video was for and he also said he'd never heard of Regina Spektor until that day.
3:13	After they were done filming Pete knew he had to at least say hi to Regina. Did he spend the night with her, is that where this is going?
3:14	Regina Spektor is cute in that Eastern European way. Does she look like the Russian bride Pete will one day marry?
3:15	Pete felt like a bit of a bumpkin saying hello though. Did she end up with Catman? Pete just walked up and told her he really likes her music and she said thanks but he didn't know what else to say. That's where the Catman should step in and help him close the deal.
3:16	Pete only wishes he would have had his phone with him to take a picture but it was back in the hotel room. That's the perfect place for your cellphone.
3:17	When Pete got back to his room at 2:00 AM he texted everyone he knew that he'd met Regina Spektor. He probably should have tried to close the deal, maybe ask her if she wants to get a drink, it seems like it's fate.
3:18	Pete does sort of feel like he missed an opportunity here but he's glad he at least said hello. There are a lot of prostitutes from Eastern Europe who look like her, Steve can probably get one for Pete.
3:19	Pete imagines that if someone from New York was in Chicago and saw Jeff Tweedy, they'd probably go up to him. As long as you just walk up to someone and say something nice and then they're on their way.
3:20	A lot of times people come up to Steve and say something like "hey I used to listen." That happened at a Sox game over the hiatus. There was a guy sitting near Steve who said that and he tried to just be nice to him.
3:21	Then the guy asked Steve if he still did the Anthony voice. The guy was there with his friend who claimed he also used to listen but didn't remember Anthony. The friend looked like a child molester too.
3:22	Pete felt pretty good about talking to Regina Spektor because right after that he found out that the Cubs came from behind and beat the Brewers. That was the game where Aramis Ramirez hit a home run and then was pleasured by another player in the dugout.
3:23	Pete hasn't seen the Aramis video that Steve is talking about. It's funny how every Sox fan has seen that video but no Cubs fans have.
3:25	Aramis Ramirez was pleasured from behind by a gentleman in the dugout after he hit the game-winning home run last Friday. That sort of thing shouldn't go on in the dugout. Pete's touching of Steve was nowhere near as inappropriate.
3:26	Sure it was really exciting at the Cubs had won but Steve has had exciting things happen to him and never had the urge to make a fist and stick it between a guy's legs.
3:27	Is today's song by Regina Spektor? That seems like the logical conclusion to this story but Steve doesn't want to mess up Pete's plan.
3:28	Pete was going to play a new Rilo Kiley song. He doesn't want to pay off his whole Regina Spektor story? What's wrong with him, it's like he has a showbiz death wish.
3:29	On the flight back from Hawaii Steve bought a Rolling Stone to read on the plane. The articles are a perfect length for Steve's attention span.
3:30	There was a list of bands that Pete liked in the Rolling Stone and the last thing was "...and all the other bands your little sister likes." Steve wanted to get that framed for Pete.
3:31	It seems like Rolling Stone is skewing more towards the hip-hop music, there was a lot of stuff mentioned that Steve had never heard of.
3:32	Song: Samson, Regina Spektor
3:35	Was that the song Regina Spektor was doing a video for? Playing that song caused both Ron Lewis and Mark Czerniec to IM Steve with song suggestions and Regina Spektor trivia. That's the kind of company Pete is keeping right now.
3:36	Ron told Mary that he already played that song on his show on WNUR. It doesn't matter though, Norm Weiner will get credit for it even though XRT wasn't the first to play it.
3:37	Pete was feeling so good after meeting Regina Spektor and the Cubs winning that when he went out on Friday night he met a woman who's from Chicago but living in New York.
3:38	If the girl isn't immediately attracted to Catman Pete somehow becomes more attractive. They probably just Pete is the more thoughtful of the two.
3:39	Pete and Catman were both talking to this girl but Pete felt he had more of a connection to her and kept making eye contact. So Pete was selling Catman out this time?
3:40	The girl actually came to Chicago the next day so Pete went out with her again when she was in town. Hopefully it all works out plus it's not totally a bad thing to date someone who lives in another city.
3:41	Plus she's from Chicago so ultimately she might end up back here.
3:45	On the phone is Mark Schanowski from Comcast Sportsnet. The Sox are dead to Steve and Buzz.
3:46	Steve still managed to catch one game during the hiatus. They did sweep the Rays and win 2 of 3 against the Royals but then they lose to the Orioles. That team is DOA.
3:47	Usually after a World Series there's a slow fall-off where the team gets older but it all seems to be happening to the Sox at once.
3:48	Even last year before the All-Star break the Sox were really close to the TIgers. Everyone figured they'd make the playoffs and have a chance to defend their title. Then it all just fell apart.
3:49	No one on the Sox is hitting for average. When Steve is at a game he thinks the scoreboard is broken because everyone's batting average starts with a 2.
3:50	Steve is no longer ashamed about his Scout Seats. The team is bad but he still has to pay for his seats. He should get frequent flyer miles for every game though since they're United Scout Seats.
3:51	Steve was at the game on Monday. The Sox had a 5 run lead which was soon erased after Buehrle came out. Then they brought in that Bukvich guy, the pride of Naperville. He proceeded to give up 5 runs.
3:52	A ball was hit to Luis Terrero but he misplayed it. Bukvich was covering home and made a big deal about Terrero missing the ball.
3:53	Steve doesn't normally say anything to players but he unloaded on Bukvich. He didn't turn around but Steve knows he heard him.
3:54	The Cubs are doing alright though, they're back above .500 at 42-41. Milwaukee is playing right now and losing to the Pirates.
3:55	What's the deal with Ramirez and that guy in the dugout? Mark hasn't seen it now. If Steve were Ramirez he'd file charges.
3:56	It seems like Lou Piniella finally figured out a line-up that works. Soriano is finally hitting like he's supposed to and they're getting a lot of production from Mike Fontenot.
3:57	Tonight there's a story on Comcast that Mark knows Steve will tune in for, a local couple is competing in the World Wife Carrying competition in Finland.
3:58	That went well with Mark. Remember the last time it went badly because Mark messed up on the White Sox score. Then Mark felt really bad and he and Steve exchanged some emails. Steve told him not to worry because he makes a million mistakes. This is mistake-prone broadcasting.
4:01	No charge for that hour and 40 minutes of downtime for Buzz today. He caught a nap and worked on his tan. Does that break throw Buzz off?
4:02	On Thursdays Buzz has a different job, he listens to the show and thinks of things to add if he hears something. Then he works on the headlines.
4:03	Steve needs to talk to Pete and help him through some of his problems. People need to be cured, if they're not cured you get Drew and Dan.
4:04	Drew is actually in Italy right now. Over there he's the normal size. He actually towers over most Italians. Is that a one week trip for Drew?
4:05	This might be the time of year when the cheapskates go to Italy becuase it's totally shut down. When Mike Disney worked here he told Steve he had to go to Tuscany. Steve's working, he can't go to Tuscany!
4:06	Dan probably hooked Drew up with some special places in Italy. Dan's been there, he actually went with Mark Czerniec and his wife. They had a weird arrangement where they were all in the same hotel room.
4:07	Drew is probably spooling pasta right now, dressed like a gondolier. August is the time when Italy totally shuts down so Drew isn't as cheap as Steve thought.
4:08	Drew's auto-response on his email is that he's out-of-town but it doesn't say what to do if there's a problem. Steve can only assume Dan is in charge but he hasn't seen him or anyone else around today.
4:09	Steve and Buzz had 2 weeks off. That's just enough time for Buzz, after that he starts to get worried. Buzz could have cleared the entire week and maybe gone to the Taste.
4:10	The Taste is actually closed down so it's a good thing Buzz didn't go out there.
4:11	As is always the case when Steve is on hiatus a ton of important stuff happens. That Channahon dad was arrested almost right after the hiatus started, then that wrestler killed his whole family.
4:12	A lot of stuff happens when Steve is here but when he's off and can't talk about something it really stands out.
4:13	They arrested the Channahon guy right before the funeral service so everyone would know the wife didn't do it. How sweet was that?
4:14	Caller John wanted to let Steve know that the Taste closes on the 8th. Steve drove right by it and didn't even notice. He'll have to walk down after the show and get something on a stick.
4:15	Did Steve give the wheel a good spin? It seemed sort of lackluster and limp-wristed, like a Ben Gay spin.
4:16	There ya go, right out of the box and Steve is wrong. He couldn't have been more wrong about the Taste.
4:17	It makes sense to keep it open since a lot of people probably took today and tomorrow off. Steve got a lot of auto-responses to the Thought for the Day email from people who are out of the office.
4:18	Steve also gets the standard responses to the people who can't help but make a comment about the Thought for the Day. Steve keeps meaning to send those from an address that can't be responded to.
4:19	The most egregious offender is Thomas J. McGuire, he can't help himself. A lot of the times he just adds on to the Thought for the Day but sometimes it's a nice compliment which Steve appreciates.
4:20	Matt and Brendan are back on tonight at their normal time. Matt went to Hawaii with Steve and returned safely. Steve didn't kill his family.
4:21	Buzz has heard of J's who go to Hawaii and get totally swept up in island fever. Steve doesn't think his socioeconomic needs could be met with a job in Hawaii.
4:22	Buzz was actually thinking that Matt would get the island fever and just throw up a lean-to on the beach.
4:23	Steve had a little island fever just getting stuck on the other side of the island because of the brush fire. Steve and the family met Ed Silha for lunch and then got stuck on the other side away from their hotel.
4:24	Ed was in a much nicer hotel and Steve felt like he should have offered it up to him. There were probably a lot of weird devices in Ed's room but a simple call to house keeping can fix everything.
4:25	Steve was going crazy trying to figure out how to get back to his hotel. He was either going to rent a boat or take a road on the back side of the island.
4:26	Steve stood in his hotel all night watching the fire, thinking it had gone out. Then he'd call a Maui County hotline to see if the road was open.
4:27	Live read: Gierczyk Properties
4:28	Mitch Pink, AE, left WCKG as soon as he closed the Gierczyk account. That means the copy for this live read will probably never change.
4:29	That explains why Mitch was pushing Steve so hard to get up to New Buffalo and look at their properties.
4:30	Headlines with Buzz
4:31	The London terrorists car bombs that did not go off failed to go off because of a faulty syringe. The bombings were staged by a group of doctors. It's easy to get in over there if you're a doctor because there's a shortage.
4:32	Al Gore's son is out on bail after being pulled over yesterday in California for speeding. He also had just about everything in his car.
4:33	Joey Chestnut is the new champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest. Steve saw a little of that yesterday and Kobayashi had a reversal of fortune. Steve was under the impression that a reversal means instant disqualification.
4:34	The judges took 4 hot dogs off Kobayashi's total but he should have been DQ'ed, moving Patrick Bertoletti to second place.
4:35	Patrick was sporting a new mohawk. He should hit the tanning booth if he's going to shave his head though.
4:36	None of the local stations mentioned that Patrick came in third place. They're all willing to travel hundreds of miles to find a local connection for a story and here's it's staring them in their face.
4:37	Somehow Kobayashi puking got left out of most of the coverage as well. It made Steve never want to eat a hot dog again.
4:38	At least two are dead in fireworks-related injuries over holiday including a Michigan mother of 3. Buzz doesn't know what a mortar is but that keeps coming up in these stories.
4:39	A mortar is just a cardboard tube and a charge is dropped into it. The tube is used over and over again.
4:40	A Minnesota girl remains in the hospital after having her intestines sucked out by a kiddie pool drain. Is this one of those fake stories that Buzz occasionally finds?
4:41	That's too much pump for a kiddie pool if it's sucking out people's intestines. Buzz finds the whole thing very difficult to think about.
4:42	A new study finds that men and women talk for the same amount of time on a given day. Maybe the guy doing the study just stopped counting when the women were talking.
4:46	Caller Ken wanted to let Steve know that ESPN did a short feature about Patrick Bertoletti before the contest.
4:47	Patrick said he was dedicating his performance to Nikki Hilton. She always lives in the shadow of Paris much like Patrick lives in the shadow of Joey Chestnut. "YOU TALKIN' TO MEAT?!"
4:48	Steve went on the IFOCE website to find something about reversal of fortune but they hadn't even updated it for the Nathan's thing.
4:49	This is the only time when Steve actually wants Patrick to call in and of course he's not.
4:50	Pat Dahl is on the phone. The official reversal of fortune rule is that if you catch it in your hands and eat it again you aren't disqualified.
4:51	They took 4 hot dogs off of Kobayashi's total because he didn't swallow what was in his mouth.
4:52	That's unacceptable to Steve, as is the dipping of buns in water. Buzz couldn't watch the whole thing but he periodically checked back in.
4:53	Steve doesn't understand how this contest helps Nathan because it's so disgusting. Whenever Steve was in New York he'd get a couple of Nathan's hot dogs at La Guardia but he won't any more.
4:54	Buzz passed on a hot dog the day after the Nathan's competition. That would be today wouldn't it? Did Buzz pass on a hot dog last night?
4:55	Buzz was at the movies last night and passed on a hot dog. Finally! Buzz loves eating hot dogs at the movies, in the dark, worrying that the mustard is going to drip on his shirt.
4:59	Caller Stacy worked at a movie theater in high school. They used to remove the hot dogs from the rollers at the end of the night, put them in the freezer and then take them out the next morning. Buzz feels that Stacy's movie theater is just one of many. This order came down from management. So Buzz has been warned and he can do what he likes from here on out.
5:01	Live read: Saturn of Libertyville
5:02	Buzz saw a Saturn sports car the other day. He didn't know they made sports cars but it looked fantastic.
5:03	Steve will look up the sports car for Buzz, his Googler is broken.
5:04	Buzz's daughter has been learning how to use the computer. The other day she wanted to go on a Cinderella website. So she started searching by herself and the first thing that came up was porn.
5:05	Piper was outraged that this was on her computer and said she never wanted to see it again. Then Buzz tried to do a search and he came up with the band Cinderella.
5:06	Cinderealla.com features the web's freshest, newest porn. Someone at Disney really dropped the ball on getting that domain name.
5:07	It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Before Steve and Buzz went on hiatus they taped 10 segments. Buzz had a lot of fun doing that.
5:08	The last thing Steve had before the hiatus was a taco which he's having again today. Buzz wishes he could have had a mic on Jim who had one of the left over tacos.
5:09	Jim's face lit up as he said "I forgot how good these are!" If Buzz could have recorded that and sent it in to Taco Bell we'd really have something.
5:10	Steve's trying to call down to Jim but the phone still isn't dialing. He was told to wait in the queue to have his chance to dial, he's doing that and it's not working. Of course Jim could call in to alleviate Steve's problem but it seems like he wants him to twist in the wind.
5:11	Jim is on the phone. He forgot how good the hard shell taco was. In the 90's he switched to the soft shell which might have been a mistake. The hard shell is where it's at.
5:12	Steve sort of took out the phone problem on Jim, it's not really his fault. The engineers told Steve what to do and he did it and the phone still doesn't work. Then when the engineers come into the studio Steve has to recreate the problem for them as they roll their eyes.
5:15	Buzz can probably determine by looking over and seeing a Swiss gentleman next to him that it's time for Meat Talk.
5:16	Steve is trying to log in to the Meat Talk email and he can't remember his email. If Steve has a minute Hans as a few things to tell him. Roe Conn came to Smith & Wollensky and told Hans what a great job he does on Steve's show. Did he also ask Hans to mention his name on the show?
5:17	Roe also told Hans that he really respects Steve and his son. Was Roe drunk?
5:18	This was right after 7:00 when Roe's show is over. He's done at the same time Steve is because they're on at the same time. Does Steve mention Morton's when Hans is on? No!
5:19	Steve's just kidding, he doesn't care if Hans mentions Roe Conn. Hans' new boss Luigi is listening from New York. Hans should have told Steve that before he mentioned Morton's.
5:20	If Hans' new boss is listening right now he should know that Chef runs the best steakhouse in Chicago.
5:21	That's not Luigi Negroni right? He's still over in Italy and he's injured. He goes back to Italy because all the medical treatment is free and his dad is a doctor.
5:22	Luigi is bunking with Dan even though Dan is married. There's some weird arrangement going on. Luigi lives in Dan's old place and Dan stays there occasionally.
5:23	Luigi is probably showing Drew around Italy as we speak. They're probably going to see the Pope together.
5:24	Chef Hans notes that Steve has a nice little package in front of him. That sort of stuff should really stay off the air. Whatever Hans sees in the locker room stays there.
5:25	Hans actually brought Steve a vacuum-packed tri-tip steak.
5:26	The first email is inappropriate for Meat Talk, or maybe not. The guy wants to know if Steve has a link to Aramis Ramirez being groped by Cesar Izturis. Apparently Cesar is proctologist in his native country.
5:27	The next emailer wants to know the best way to cook pork ribs. Steve's going to say over heat.
5:28	The emailer says his wife slow cooks ribs over a water bath in the oven. Usually when people ask a question and then answer in a very specific way they're just trying to show off and get the free dinner.
5:29	Steve will continue anyway. During the slow cooking his wife bastes the ribs in the sauce. Steve can already see one problem with this method.
5:30	You're really not supposed to put the sauce on until the end. Barbecue sauce has a lot of sugar in it and sugar burns. Some people don't even put the sauce on until the very end.
5:38	On the phone is Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti. That nickname never really caught on did it?
5:39	Patrick couldn't believe all the bad references he made in the ESPN interview. It wasn't that bad.
5:40	Steve was wondering what it would take to get into that Kendall College culinary school. They have night classes.
5:41	Patrick finished third in the Nathan's competition, eating 49 hot dogs. That's three more than Patrick's personal best. He hates to sound like a Cubs fan but maybe next year.
5:42	Patrick also felt that Kobayashi should have been disqualified from the competition. Patrick talked to the IFOCE president yesterday and he agreed but it can't be reversed now.
5:43	Every time Steve talks to Patrick it makes him want to buy the IFOCE and run it properly. His first move would be to ban the dipping of buns in water. And how does a Japanese kid puking up your hot dogs equal good press for Nathan's?
5:44	Patrick remains ranked #3 with Chestnut at #2 and Kobayashi at #1. Chestnut will have to beat Kobayashi several more times to become #1.
5:45	Steve thinks Patrick has a case to get Kobayashi disqualified, he needs to get a lawyer.
5:46	Patrick doesn't want to move into second place on a technicality. Kobayashi puked all over the place though!
5:47	At the very least Patrick needs better representation. Steve should represent him and they can travel to events. They won't stay in the same hotels though.
5:48	Steve has had almost a year to think about the "you talkin' to meat" thing and he's realized it was genius. Patrick didn't put Steve's name on his shirt because he thought he was in the dog house.
5:49	Patrick's not sure what his next competition is. He was going to do the rib competition in Oregon, but it's 2 hours from Portland and he has to work the next day.
5:50	How much could it cost to buy the IFOCE? Steve really wants to run things right over there.
5:51	There's also a Crystal burger competition in Chattanooga that Patrick might compete in. He's won that one before.
5:52	Patrick actually prefers Crystal to the White Castle slider but you can't get them up here. Steve has only recently got into White Castle because he didn't grow up here.
5:53	Patrick's in a car right now on his way to the airport. Who's that chick in the background?
5:54	That's Patrick mom in the car, does Steve want to talk to her? Patrick doesn't want to put his mom on the spot here.
5:55	It seems like Steve is being put on the spot here but he'll talk to Patrick's mom anyway.
5:56	Steve feels that Patrick's mom should retain an attorney to try to get Kobayashi disqualified.
5:57	The entire Bertoletti family was sporting blue mohawks at the competition yesterday. What a lovely family outing that must have been.
5:58	Live read: Famous Dave's
5:59	Steve would like to recommend the Famous Dave's sauce on Lil Smokies. There isn't much that can't be improved with Famous Dave's sauce. Steve puts it on ice cream.
6:05	It seems like even the announcers yesterday thought Kobayashi should have been disqualified. They're all shills for Nathan's though since they're the ones who hire them.
6:06	Nathan's buys an hour of time from ESPN. Buzz didn't know that but he was really surprised when he heard some of the stuff the announcers were saying.
6:07	Live read: Townstone Financial
6:08	Steve accidentally started up a song but he didn't mean to. A couple weeks off and he's already lost his touch.
6:09	Song: The American in Me, Michael McDermott
6:12	That's from Michael's new album Noise From Words. Steve downloaded it somewhere but he remembers it being really complicated.
6:13	Steve has a compendium of fireworks stories but he doesn't want to cut into Buzz's news. Steve prefers the stories involving grown men.
6:14	In one story a pair of brothers were hurt trying to make their own fireworks. Buzz doesn't mind the injury stories, those are life lessons.
6:15	An 8-year old boy was injured when a fireworks canon went off. That seems like too much for Buzz but that's how you shoot off the big ones.
6:16	If you saw how they did the fireworks on the lakefront, you'd see the same thing. It's just a bunch of tubes on a wood board that have charges in them.
6:17	Investigators in Independence Township in in MIchigan were trying to determine if any illegal fireworks were used in the death of the boy. It seems like something that could kill a kid standing 100 feet away is going to be illegal.
6:18	Andy and Lee Marvin Impola were in serious condition following the blast. Was he named after Lee Marvin the actor?
6:19	In Florida a woman and her son suffered minor injuries when a man lit a firework that said off a chain reaction of hundreds of fireworks.
6:20	A woman in the suburbs of Detroit was killed in front of her children and fiance as she tried to light a three inch mortar that exploded in her face. You gotta think the Channahon dad was looking for that kind of Fourth of July.
6:21	Once again when the fireworks don't go off you just have to accept it and move on. You can't troubleshoot a broken firework. Just shoot it with a hose and light the next one. Then if the other one goes off you're pleasantly surprised.
6:22	This is the first year Buzz remembers seeing the word mortar used to so often. A guy in Kansas died after lighting a commercial grade mortar. Those are the ones they use in professional fireworks shows.
6:23	They've always been called mortars but it's not now making it into the press. Mortar doesn't sound festive though.
6:24	They used to sell the mortars on a board and you lit them all off at once. Somehow they were attached to the board but once you lit it you couldn't stop it.
6:25	On one Fourth of July Steve put the board out on the wall between the hot tub and the pool. The wall was much thinner than the board which started rocking back and forth and shooting fireworks in every direction.
6:26	Steve felt he was pretty calm as the fireworks were going off, ushering everyone into the house. It was foolhardy, sure, but it was also beautiful. It was the perfect display of our independence.
6:27	On that same night Steve also put his head over one of the fireworks that didn't go off. Luckily Pat had the good sense to kick it into the pool.
6:28	It's really hard to resist the urge to look into a firework that hasn't gone off, especially if you're drunk. It's like going into a port-a-potty and not looking into the toilet.
6:35	That's a nice drop Pete just played. It can probably go right next to the drop of the rock drummer who got his hand blown off. He's still lighting fireworks but sticking to the legal ones.
6:36	Steve has a handful of peanuts in his mouth. He didn't have to put it in his mouth but he did. Steve's goal over vacation was to not gain any weight and he didn't.
6:37	Buzz was in Lake Geneva for an entire week during the hiatus. Wisconsin people are really nice but it seems like they don't care what they eat.
6:38	When you're there you don't really care because the food is so good. Buzz went Mexican one night and it was great.
6:39	Steve doesn't think Lake Geneva is really Wisconsin, it's all people from Chicago. Is just saying this because he wasn't recognized on the trip?
6:40	You can go two ways with weight gain, you can try to control it or you can become Eddie Schwartz. Did Buzz gain weight on his trip, is that why he's mad?
6:41	Buzz came home a pound heavier which isn't that bad. He ran and worked out on the trip which is key.
6:42	If you're working out you start to think about what you're eating. You burned off all of these calories and you don't want to eat certain things all of the sudden.
6:43	A lot of people are predisposed to think like that and those people aren't fat. Steve has only started to think like that now. You can't really think of food as a reward for something. Steve doesn't really do that any more.
6:44	Steve did do one weird thing in Hawaii. He was reading Tapping the Source which is by Kem Nunn. He's the co-creator of John From Cincinnati
6:45	Steve just wanted to once again say that Buzz really needs to give that show another chance. They're all on On Demand. If Buzz watches 2 episodes and doesn't like it then Steve will never bother him about anything like this again.
6:46	So Steve is reading this book and he doesn't want it to end because he really loves it. That might be one of the reasons he doesn't like reading, when he likes a book he doesn't want it to end.
6:47	So Steve is getting to the end of this book and he's freaking out. So he goes to the fridge and gets a pint of ice cream. Then he reads a page and eats two spoonfuls of ice cream. It was a really great book though.
6:48	Steve's trying to make a phone call but the phone isn't working again. Jim is on the line but Steve would rather talk to him on the other line.
6:49	Jim is still watching John From Cincinnati and he still loves it. Not only is it a great show but it has everything that Buzz loves in a show.
6:50	Pete is still watching the show as well and he agrees with Jim, it's so weird and you have no idea what's going on and Buzz would love it.
6:51	There are a ton of people on the show from Deadwood like the geologist guy who killed prostitutes.
6:52	How many shows has Steve been right about that he recommended to Buzz? For starters, The Sopranos. Plus The Shield and Rescue Me.
6:53	Steve got in late on Heroes but Buzz and Jim and Pete all told him how good it was and he started watching and he was hooked.
6:59	Alright back to John From Cincinnati. The dialogue sounds a lot like Deadwood because it's David Milch and a lot of the same actors.
7:00	Jim just wanted to add that the kid who plays John was on Wolf Lake. That was one of Buzz's favorite shows of all time. He was apoplectic when it got canceled.
7:01	Matt Dahl finally checked the show out, he and Pat Dahl had a mini-marathon yesterday. Sure they didn't put on the charger or clean up their dirty dishes but that's alright.
7:02	Who's typing? It's Jim, he's doing the show log. Steve will let him go then.
7:03	Matt and Brendan are back in their regular time slot. There were a lot of weird things going on in their time slot and Matt wasn't happy about it.
7:04	Steve just told Matt that those shows will make him and Brendan sound better. Matt's just glad to be back. There ya go.
7:05	Brendan is also watching John From Cincinnati. Is he just passing the time until Cathouse starts up again?
7:06	John From Cincinnati might be the best thing Steve has ever seen. What really drives him nuts though is that David Milch has created a great show and everyone is giving it bad reviews.
7:07	Steve is determined to make the show a hit even if he has to do it alone. A little help from HBO would be nice though. It might become a religious experience for Steve.