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| 2:00
| Stan's saying Einstein with an extra I sound. That's not how you say it. Is that how Stan's going to send Jeffrey to the science fair? |
| 2:01
| Stan doesn't like how most people say Einstein even though it's not the correct pronunciation. |
| 2:02
| Steve can't believe he's arguing about this with Stan. Jeff Schwartz gave Stan a golf ball with what he thought was Albert Einstein on it. Steve's pretty sure it's just a caricature of Jeff. |
| 2:03
| Jeff probably owns a giant golf ball with the caricature on it. The caricature looks like it was drawn by the guy who does all of the posters for the remote broadcasts and trips. |
| 2:04
| Stan might remember that when Kevin Matthews was here doing those homecoming dances there was a poster of Principal Schwartz. |
| 2:05
| All of Kevin's kissing up really got him nowhere. And just for the record, Steve likes Kev. He tried to help him stay here but Kev didn't listen. |
| 2:06
| Stan and Terry don't want Kev back here anyway do they? Garry probably took all the money that could have gone to keeping Kev so they should be alright. Plus they're sitting on that sweet race card. |
| 2:07
| Stan doesn't think they'd be able to play the race card because they don't run in that crowd. They're not going to get invited to Oprah's Barack fundraiser. |
| 2:08
| Terry was reading Steve's blog today which features a picture of Michael Vick with a puppy. Is that one of the dog fighting dogs? |
| 2:09
| Steve doesn't do the pictures for his blog, just like in the paper. It looks like a pit bull though so it must be. |
| 2:10
| Terry was trying to understand the allure of dog fighting. He couldn't imagine being at someone's house and then the dog fighting starts up. That's what Steve was saying in his blog. It must be the gambling although he's been attacked by a dog and had to break up dogs fighting. |
| 2:11
| It seems like being a football player would make you enough of a man where you wouldn't have to get into dog fighting. Dog fighting isn't cheap either. There was one story about how Vick had to pay off a $22,000 bet which is a lot to Steve. |
| 2:12
| If Michael Vick wants to be a man he should get in the ring and fight with the dog himself. That would impress Steve. |
| 2:13
| Terry has access to farm property because of his wife, maybe pit bull breeding is something he should look into. |
| 2:14
| The dog fighting thing seems like a lot of overcompensating to Steve. Carrying a gun around does too though. |
| 2:15
| Stan is a little distracted looking at the cover of the Sun-Times, trying to figure out if the picture is of the front or the back of Oprah's house. If it's the front there's no front door. |
| 2:16
| Oprah's house is on the sweetest part of the California coast. Why does she need that much house if she's all by herself? At least Michael Vick shares his house with dogs. |
| 2:17
| The Cult of Oprah seems to overlook the fact that she has all these giant houses and owns half of Maui. |
| 2:18
| Oprah does have dogs though, one of them died recently. She said that the whole pet food poisoning thing effected her but everything effects her. The dog probably just choked on something. |
| 2:19
| Stan has some Oprah audio to play for Steve. It sounds like the Oprah sex tape but it's her in Africa trying to put a heavy jug of water on her head and walk around with it. |
| 2:28
| Song: The Puppy Song, Harry Nilsson |
| 2:31
| Can Pete come in the studio? Steve's pretty sure that song is from The Point! Pete's only familiar with it because of You've Got Mail. He's a sucker for romantic comedies. That was like Sleepless in Seattle on the internet. |
| 2:32
| Buzz thought You've Got Mail was a sequel. Steve can see Buzz saying "this is just more of the same crap" while watching You've Got Mail so in a way it is a sequel. |
| 2:33
| The real reason Steve pulled Pete in was because some engineers were in his studio poking around and that usually throws him off. Steve wants to center him. |
| 2:34
| The engineers were installing cable boxes in Pete's studio and in the main studio. Steve told the engineers several times to hook his TiVo up through the cable but they didn't. |
| 2:35
| Pete actually told them not to do that yet so Steve would at least be able to use the TiVo for now. This is very troubling on a whole new level. The engineers were acting like they didn't even know about Steve's TiVo but also Pete is making important decisions for him. |
| 2:36
| The TiVo is now hooked up to the emergency lifeline cable so Steve will be able to use it for the rest of the week. That makes sense then. |
| 2:37
| One of the engineers acted like he didn't know about the TiVo. Pete thinks he might not have known. If the other engineer knows about it shouldn't he share it with everyone else? |
| 2:38
| Steve would prefer to keep the TiVo and not get a DVR cable box. He prefers the TiVo interface, at home he's like Merlin with that thing. |
| 2:39
| The cable up in the office is still not working though. There used to be a cable line that went up to the office and was split between 12 TVs which Pete used to record shows and get drops from. |
| 2:40
| Then Comcast started cracking down on high rises downtown that were stealing cable. Steve didn't think they were stealing cable but he knew they weren't paying for 12 TVs. |
| 2:41
| If someone is going to be charged with stealing cable Steve would like it to be Drew. The trial, sentencing and subsequent prison visits would all be fantastic. |
| 2:42
| Someone from Comcast came in to install 12 separate cable boxes which were all left on the floor. Now Pete and Ed are having temper tantrums on alternate days because of this whole mess. |
| 2:43
| You can't change the channel on each cable box without a remote so Pete is trying to isolate every individual box and change the channel. |
| 2:44
| Steve would like to bring Ed in on this. Someone came in and had their way with someone without warning and ripped up all the cable wires. |
| 2:45
| Ed's going to come in and rebuild the entire rack system this weekend. Pete's suggestion to Ed is to get 12 DVR boxes so Pete can change the recordings manually. Ed can get another rack, Steve likes racks. He'd also like the station to pay for them. |
| 2:46
| Ideally one day we'd get rid of the VCRs and only use DVRs but that seems complicated. That would require moving all the recording equipment to Pete's studio. |
| 2:47
| This whole thing sort of happened out of nowhere. Then the Comcast guy just came in and installed 12 cable boxes and Pete wasn't even there. |
| 2:48
| The guy was hardcore Polish and didn't speak much English. Tina and Stephanie tried to give him instructions but he didn't listen. Steve's guessing that off-the-boat Polish guys don't listen to women. That's why all the Polish women are cleaning ladies. |
| 2:53
| Just as the break was beginning an engineer went into Pete's studio with a step ladder, perhaps undoing all the centering Steve had just done. Pete looked frightened and he should be. The step ladder looks like something you'd use to gas up a plane. Pete's fine now, the engineer was retrieving a leftover power supply. |
| 2:54
| Power supply? Like from the ceiling? It was actually something from the cable box. Does he mean the plug? Do the engineers have to use special terms for everything? It was just a cord though, not one of those wall wart things. |
| 2:55
| According to Pete is was a wall wart. Pete should feel free to stop Steve anytime he's saying something that's wrong. |
| 2:56
| When have you ever seen a cable box without a power supply? Whenever you call the cable company with a problem they tell you to unplug it, which usually works. |
| 2:57
| Sometimes Steve unplugs it and then calls the cable company. Even if he tells them he already unplugged it they make him do it again. Steve pretends to do it, putting down the phone and staging an audio play in which he's walking across the room to unplug the cable box. |
| 2:58
| Alright back to work Pete. It was quite a surprise when Comcast came in and lowered the boom on everyone. It was like a raid. Just in Steve's world they took out 16 cable boxes. That's a good raid. |
| 2:59
| Steve's operating under the impression that he's not financially responsible for the new cable boxes. Buzz now has a controller for his TV too. |
| 3:00
| Steve sort of wanted to get HD boxes since there are HD TVs in the studio but that would distract both he and Buzz. |
| 3:01
| Steve is squawking CLTV right now because he's back on his TiVo. He doesn't mind CLTV either. They've got this traffic girl who looks like she's some society girl. She's hotter than most of the anchors. Buzz loves the girl with the crazy eyes. |
| 3:02
| It looks like the traffic girl is doing something for Town & Country magazine where a rich girl pretends to do traffic. Everyday she looks better and dresses better than all the anchors, including the girl with the crazy eyes. |
| 3:03
| Buzz won't rethink his position on the girl with the crazy eyes. He knows what that crazy look means. |
| 3:04
| Steve doesn't even know the traffic girl's name, they're not good with names on CLTV. It's how they keep the reporters down. If you don't know their names they'll never move up to a better station. |
| 3:05
| Right now Steve is enjoying some Craig Stebic stock footage. A Will County judge dismissed the divorce papers filed by Craig Stebic. |
| 3:06
| It makes sense to dismiss the case, you can't have a divorce with only one person. Now Craig gets the house and the pool as swam in by Amy Jacobson. He could probably sell vials of the water for $5 a piece. |
| 3:11
| Live read: Illinois Lottery |
| 3:12
| Steve forgot all about the Summer Millions raffle. He's down for 5 tickets. Steve can't remember how much that's increased his odds of winning though. |
| 3:13
| 70.89% of the tickets have been sold for the Millions raffle. You have a 1 in 125,000 chance of winning the million. |
| 3:14
| Steve is hoping all of his tickets win him the cycle, $1,000, $100,000 and $1,000,000. He wouldn't mind $2 million but he's fine with two tickets are losers. |
| 3:15
| If all 5 of Steve's tickets win you won't see him at work the next day. Actually, he probably would come in. You wouldn't want Steve sitting at home with $4 million, it would be a long week. |
| 3:22
| Steve's odds of winning $1,000 is 1 in 200. Steve knew his odds were better than he first imagined. |
| 3:23
| Consequently Steve's odds of winning $1 million are whatever 125,000 is divided by 5. Steve can't calculate that one in his head. Buzz is trying to figure it out but Steve has his calculator. |
| 3:24
| Steve's odds of winning the million are 1 in 25,000 according to Buzz. Whatever Steve tried to figure out on his calculator the answer was 1 which can't be right. |
| 3:25
| It's a good thing Buzz saved Steve on that because the next step was his odds were 1 in 1. 1 in 25,000 isn't that bad though. |
| 3:26
| Song: Dog Problems, The Format |
| 3:30
| That wasn't supposed to fade out the way it did. The Format was at one of the beach parties last summer. Would Buzz like to hear the end of the song just for fun? |
| 3:31
| Steve made fun of The Format last summer because their album sounded like circus music. They rode it out though. |
| 3:32
| That was Dog Problems because of Michael Vick. Steve's trying it all in, he's trying to get a job at XRT. |
| 3:33
| Steve doesn't mind playing a song just because he likes it but he tried to tie it in with what's going on. That's the kind of stuff that gets people talking on the internet. |
| 3:34
| The Dow only went down by 53 today. Steve doesn't even know where that leaves him but he doesn't keep tabs on that stuff because it makes him jumpy. |
| 3:35
| Ron Lewis doesn't deal with that side of Steve's finances. Steve doesn't want him to and Ron doesn't want to do it. Ron knows that if something went wrong Steve would blame him or end up living at his house forever. They sought professional help. |
| 3:36
| Steve does listen to the Noon Business Hour on WBBM when he comes in though. Usually they have a good mix of analysts who are bullish, bearish or hitting the panic button. Today everyone was very reassuring. |
| 3:37
| Whenever Steve hears there's going to be a correction in the market Steve wants to call his guy and have him put everything into cash. Then he goes underground and can't hear WBBM, switches to music and forgets what he wanted to do when he gets to his office. |
| 3:38
| Steve promised himself during the whole dot com fall out that he'd never get greedy again. He does think he's pretty adaptable though. If he lost everything and became homeless he'd probably go back to drinking. |
| 3:39
| It would be hard to fit in with the other homeless people and be preaching sobriety. He'd definitely align himself with the Oliver Garden soup kitchen though. |
| 3:40
| Steve meant Pacific Garden soup kitchen. The food at the Olive Garden always looks really good but the people in the commercials are so irritating. Steve wants to take a bat to their heads and steal their food. |
| 3:41
| Steve used to do live reads for Olive Garden. There was a cute fat girl who looked like Monica Lewinsky who ran their account and Red Lobster as well. |
| 3:42
| A problem arose though because they wanted Steve to go out to dinner with other radio guys doing live reads. He wasn't about to have dinner with Ramblin' Ray and John Landecker so he demanded a private dinner. |
| 3:43
| Then at some point Steve didn't want to keep going out to eat there and keep doing the live reads. There might have also been some untoward Alfredo sauce references too. He was young, he didn't know any better. |
| 3:44
| Steve doesn't mind going out to a restaurant once, like with Cheeseburger in Paradise. Olive Garden wanted him to come out every time they had a new entree. Steve gets it, it's going to be better than you think it'll be, it always is. |
| 3:45
| What they really should work on is the perception that the food is going to be bad but it's good. Try that instead of a bunch of happy-ass people in the commercials. |
| 3:46
| Steve wanted to Olive Garden before the show at North Beach but he figured he'd order the wrong thing and be sleepy. That's why Buzz didn't go to Cheeseburger in Paradise on Saturday. |
| 3:47
| Steve wouldn't mind eating on stage during the show. That could even be a comedic bit, have some appetizers on stage. Steve didn't eat all day Saturday except when he got to the hotel. |
| 3:48
| Steve was in the handicap room which is always the last one available in the hotel. Steve knows it's wrong but no one ever wants to stay in that room. It's weird with all the railings in the shower. They're helpful for people in a wheelchair but if you're not it's all just in the way. |
| 3:49
| Steve ordered something off the room service menu that said it was heart healthy. He went with a steak and spinach which he thought would be healthier than a burger and fries. |
| 3:50
| Turns out they didn't have spinach so he got fries anyway, undoing his attempt to get something healthy. Then the woman taking his order must have forgotten to write down the room number so she called all of The Nadas to see if they ordered room service. |
| 3:51
| Then when the guy finally arrived he rang the doorbell of the room which sets off a loud buzzer and a strobe light in case your deaf or blind. |
| 3:52
| The steak was good but it wasn't worth $47. Steve was very uncomfortable in the room because he thought he would catch something, which he knows is wrong. The whole time he was wondering what group of handicapped people have a meeting in his room that had a conference table. He knows that's wrong, he's ashamed of himself for thinking like that. |
| 3:53
| Steve should have just gone to Olive Garden although he did get to watch COPS and it was an episode he'd never seen. It featured the little person from an earlier episode who was arrested in Vegas. In this episode a cop got him a job at a place where little people work as entertainers. |
| 3:56
| On the phone is Gail Fisher from Comcast Sportsnet. The White Sox won a series, how about that? |
| 3:57
| They could have swept the series but they had some trouble last night. Turns out Buehrle is the only guy they can rely on, good thing they signed him long-term. |
| 3:58
| The Sox bullpen is pretty scary, you can't even depend on Bobby Jenks any more. They took him right down the toilet. |
| 3:59
| The Cubs are playing right now, they've got a nice 9-0 lead over the Giants. Barry Bonds didn't play again today. They're trying to make it so he breaks the record at home where they like him. |
| 4:00
| Barry came in last night to pinch hit and of course got booed. Gail was pretty surprised he talked to the media last night. |
| 4:01
| Carlos Zambrano should get his 12th win today. He's really be cruising since he kicked Michael Barrett's butt. Turns out that guy might have been a problem. The Cubs did have to go out and get Jason Kendall, who hasn't been good since the 90s. |
| 4:02
| It remains to be seen if Steve will become interested in the Cubs/Brewers playoff chase. He's not mean-spirited about it like some people he knows. |
| 4:03
| The Brewers used to be an AL team but then Bud Selig moved them to the NL so they could play the Cubs more often. |
| 4:04
| Steve certainly wouldn't root for the Brewers. He's probably just watch in stunned silence. |
| 4:11
| What happened to Kerry Wood? He's back actually. Well not really back but he's pitching again. |
| 4:12
| Kerry Wood's pitching at the spring training facility in Arizona. It seems a little too hot to be pitching out there but it'll loosen him up. |
| 4:13
| What about Mark Prior? Steve was thinking maybe the Sox could use either of those guys. Pete hates to admit this but this morning he was saying to Jim how great it would be if Kerry Wood came back. |
| 4:14
| It doesn't seem like the Cubs need Kerry Wood. Maybe Pete doesn't really want the Cubs to win which is why he wants Kerry Wood back. |
| 4:15
| Pete just remembers all the potential that Kerry Wood had. That's nice and loyal and cute but the Cubs don't need him. |
| 4:16
| Maybe when Kerry Wood comes back Dan can introduce them since he knows him. Pete doesn't really need to meet players, he just likes Kerry Wood. |
| 4:17
| Pete did hear from Jim kid that Dan had lunch with Barry Bonds this week. Steve will have to check in with Jim about that. |
| 4:18
| On Monday Dan asked Jim if he wanted him to put a hex on Barry since he was having lunch with him. Jim doesn't really believe in hexes does he? That's just an excuse for Dan to drop a name. |
| 4:19
| Dan said that he was having lunch with a Giants player and Barry wanted to come with because he remembers him from when he lived with Mark Grace. Jim couldn't exactly connect the dots but he doesn't have to, that's the beauty of it. |
| 4:20
| Jim didn't hear how the lunch went and he doesn't know where it was. It sounds like a Smith & Wollensky lunch. If Barry Bonds was at S & W Chef Hans will tell us about it, after some prompting. |
| 4:21
| Jim didn't hear any follow-up about the lunch though. Dan will probably call Jim and yell at him for talking about this. Steve doesn't get why Dan doesn't just call in to the show though. |
| 4:22
| Steve knows that when Gracie and Thom Brennaman were in town to call a White Sox game Dan went out with them. It's good that Dan and Mark are back on going out terms. Buzz didn't know they were. |
| 4:23
| Mark is no longer married which means he and Dan can go out again. You can connect those dots on your own. Steve doesn't understand why Dan is so secretive about all this stuff. If he's having lunch with Barry Bonds Steve would like to hear about it. |
| 4:27
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 4:28
| Steve has a pair of one-day passes to give away for Lollapalooza. That's Sunday which is your big day with Pearl Jam and Modest Mouse. Be the 1,059th texter to 41059 with the word Pearl to win the passes. |
| 4:29
| Caller Chuck thinks he knows who Dan's mystery lunch partner on the Giants is. Steve's going to get Jim on the phone for this. |
| 4:30
| Steve can't dial out on this bank of phones so Jim will have to call in. No need to fix the phones, even if the engineers were in here all day. Why fix it, this is FM? We're all free and loose here. |
| 4:31
| Chuck thinks that Dan's lunch partner was the Red Baron who was in town on Monday to call the Cubs game for ESPN. Sut! Of course! What's the best city in the world Mud? San Diego! |
| 4:32
| There should be a newspaper column devoted to what Dan does everyday. Maybe Dining with Dan, written by Dan. Steve would read that everyday. |
| 4:33
| There was a time, during the 1984 playoffs when Steve and Dan were hanging out with Rick Sutcliffe at the team hotel. That was the series where the nobody thought the Cubs could lose 3 games in a row in San Diego and they did. |
| 4:34
| They spent most of the day drinking tequila and trying to line the rim of the pool with shot glasses. |
| 4:35
| At some point Steve decided they should go to Tijuana to see a donkey show. So they got into two cars and just at the boarder Steve decided to turn around. He was in no condition to cross an international border. |
| 4:36
| Rick Sutcliffe did get singled out by the MC of the donkey show who put a spotlight on him. |
| 4:37
| Buzz can't believe that Steve wanted to go see a donkey show and then turned around. If it were him he would have done whatever necessary to see the show. |
| 4:38
| Steve actually saw several donkey shows when he was growing up. They went to Tijuana quite a bit. They're actually pretty disgusting and Steve decided he didn't need to go. |
| 4:39
| Live read: Gierczyk Properties |
| 4:45
| What's the best city in the world Buzz? San Diego! Steve blames the Padres announcers for letting Sut in the booth on his day off. |
| 4:46
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:47
| The National Guard Sniper who shot and killed his wife while she was singing in a bar was found dead with a gunshot wound in his chest. That's no fun. Yesterday he was being compared to Rambo, at least he could have let the police hunt him down. |
| 4:48
| The divorce case of Craig and Lisa Stebic has been dismissed by a judge. Craig is still a person of interest in Lisa's death. Did Craig offer to take her back? Hopefully she hasn't heard about the pool party. |
| 4:49
| At the Chicago mob trial there was testimony that one of Mayor Daley's pals was involved in a restaurant bombing 20 years ago. Is that the Family Secrets trial that only Chuck Goudie cares about? |
| 4:50
| Buzz can't believe more people aren't interested in this trial. It's all old stuff though and it sort of shows that they've lost their touch. Steve does enjoy Chuck Goudie's coverage of the trial, he does a mob speak segment where he tells people what different terms mean. |
| 4:51
| New research reveals that all human beings may have come from one specific point in the world. Is that supposed to be the Garden of Eden? How does this effect the Geico caveman commercials? |
| 4:58
| That was a drop of Chuck Goudie explaining gangster speak in case Buzz didn't know what they were talking about. |
| 4:59
| Live read: Famous Dave's |
| 5:00
| Has Steve talked about Michael Vick yet? Sometimes Stan and Terry get Steve talking about something he doesn't want to talk about. |
| 5:01
| It seems like he's in pretty big trouble if all of this is true. Vick's cousin, who lives on Vick's property was not indicted. |
| 5:02
| Steve's guessing the authorities were somehow able to turn cousin Boddie and get him to testify. |
| 5:03
| Vick and his co-defendants are charged with training pit bulls, organizing fights and executing dogs that lost fights. Well, you gotta send a message. |
| 5:04
| It seems like killing the dogs was the worst thing Vick's being charged with but there's also the gambling. |
| 5:05
| Buzz once videotaped a dog fight. For what, a documentary? |
| 5:06
| It ended up just being a document of a dog fight. Once the dogs get locked up they're separated and then left to decide if they want to fight again. |
| 5:07
| There was one dog who didn't express any interest in fighting any more so that means the other dog wins, even though he was all chewed up. Just to see how much up to snuff he was, they put a fresh dog in. |
| 5:08
| In the second fight one dog somehow latched onto the other dog's tongue and just about ripped it out of his head. |
| 5:09
| It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve's having the original hard shell taco. |
| 5:10
| Today Steve's taco sauce packet says "Will you scratch my back?" The packets always have funny things written on them. |
| 5:11
| Steve has not eaten all day, this is really hitting the spot. The original taco really is a thing of beauty. |
| 5:17
| A couple things before Bob and Ron come on. There's not much else to say about Michael Vick for now but people on TV can't stop talking about it. |
| 5:18
| Steve imagines that the gambling and the not paying taxes is why the Federal government is after him. |
| 5:19
| It seems like a lot of these guys are idiots. Sometimes that goes hand in hand with being a football player. You sort of have to be if you're going to allow guys to pound on your all day. |
| 5:20
| That being said there are a lot of smart football players out there. It seems like a lot of football players and guys from the south are into hunting and you can see how that leads to dog fighting. |
| 5:21
| Why is it legal to shoot deer though? Steve's just trying to look at both sides of this although Michael Vick is an idiot. |
| 5:22
| It's not drugs though, it's just dogs. That was Steve's campaign for a while, dogs not drugs. Speaking of drugs, Bob and Ron are here. |
| 5:23
| Steve had a nice little bit he was going to do with Ron owing Buzz money for a guitar pedal. Turns out Buzz's friend Chris called Bob and Ron's show when they were driving home from North Beach and threatened them. |
| 5:24
| Steve was going to do all that but then during the break Ron comes in and pays Buzz. Couldn't he wait until they were on the air? |
| 5:25
| Buzz bought a pedal and decided he wasn't going to use it. Then Ron said he'd buy it. He sort of assumed he wouldn't have to pay for the pedal. If Ron was dealing with Steve he probably wouldn't have had to pay. Buzz is serious about the money stuff though. It would have been nice to get an on-air payoff though. |
| 5:26
| Buzz feels that over the last week he has several opportunities to torpedo Bob and Ron's radio career. He was present to overhear conversations between certain people about them in which he could have given his input but didn't. |
| 5:27
| Was it Drew? Did Bob and Ron come up during their ride back from Blarney Island? Steve's going to eat his taco while Buzz keeps talking. |
| 5:28
| Was Drew talking about who Bob and Ron appeal to, what their scope is? Maybe Steve will torpedo their careers. Even they know their appeal isn't very broad. |
| 5:29
| Buzz road back from Blarney Island with Drew, Gabe and his wife in a town car. How did that happen? Drew must have gone nuts after his 9 passenger limo didn't show up. |
| 5:30
| So it was Drew in the front seat because he's the smallest and then Gabe on one side, his wife in the middle and Buzz on the other side. Was there any inappropriate touching? |
| 5:31
| Buzz did talk to Gabe's wife since they both have 6 year olds. That's probably where he went into uber-dad mode and started talking about making beignets and sledding. |
| 5:32
| Buzz bought the pedal for $149 and sold it to Ron for $125 so he got a deal. Ron actually gave him $140 though. |
| 5:33
| Steve had a really bad experience at Guitar Center on Saturday. He's been ordering stuff online lately as well as a few other websites. |
| 5:34
| Steve ordered some stuff for the show on Saturday but two days later he got an email saying it was back ordered. So he went to the Guitar Center in Lombard and it was pretty empty, other than the 50 dudes working there. |
| 5:35
| The guys at Guitar Center ask if they can help you but they don't really want to. Steve asked the guy for something very specific and he said "it's behind you." There's a whole store behind him. |
| 5:36
| Steve found what he was looking for but it wasn't where the guy said it was. Then the guy tells you what the thing does, in case you didn't know. Steve knows what it does, that's why he's buying it. |
| 5:37
| Then Steve goes to pay for it and whips out his American Express card. Even though the card is on the counter the guy asks Steve his name and if he's shopped there before. Steve said he didn't remember. |
| 5:38
| There are probably a ton of different addresses in their computer but the guy said he'd never shopped there, even though he has. The phone number they had was 591-WCKG which Steve would never give out. |
| 5:39
| It took forever for the guy to enter the correct address and Steve's number and all that stuff. Then he asked for Steve's driver's license. He's a 52-year old man, why would he steal an AB switch from Guitar Center? |
| 5:40
| Plus, even if this guy wanted to pretend he didn't know who Steve was he probably did. So why does he have to act like such a twit about it? |
| 5:41
| Meanwhile the store manager, who knows who Steve is, is watching all this happen. Then the guy at the counter told him he needed his receipt so the guy at the door could check him out. |
| 5:42
| Steve gets that Guitar Center deals with musicians and they're mostly scum but he had to be in the system at least 100 times. |
| 5:43
| Guitar Center advertises on the radio but they don't advertise here so screw 'em. That's what they get for not advertising. Steve's never going in there again and he might order from another website after the whole back-order thing. |
| 5:44
| The guys who aren't working the store with the greasy hair and bad skin are all smoking out front with their tight black t-shirts and skull belt buckles. They're all fat too. Don't you have to be in shape to wear a tight black t-shirt? |
| 5:47
| Bob and Ron are here but Steve could also do Guitar Center Horror stories. It seems like the damage has been done and the only way to stop it is to buy a schedule. |
| 5:48
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:49
| If you're going to co-sign a loan for your kid it seems like you're better off letting the bank try to collect the money. Steve wouldn't be able to collect money from his kids. They wouldn't want to pay him because they think he has enough money already. |
| 5:50
| David Hochberg is in Croatia with Eric and Kathy because he needed some strange. He wanted two people to do live reads that alternate lines in the script and Steve and Buzz won't do that. |
| 5:51
| Once you realize Eric and Kathy do that you can't think of anything else. It's like when you're stoned and you notice how much you're breathing. |
| 5:52
| Caller Colleen's parents went to Guitar Center a few years ago to buy gift cards for her brothers. Her mom signed the receipt and then the kid look at it and said it wasn't the same one on the card. |
| 5:53
| The signatures looked identical so Colleen asked for a manager. Then the female manager came out, took the card and receipt and went in back to compare. |
| 5:54
| When she came back she also said the signatures didn't match. At that point Colleen got loud and someone finally took care of it but she vowed to never go back again. |
| 5:55
| Then did Colleen go to Chi Chi's after for lunch? There was no lunch that day, it was just a shopping expedition. |
| 5:56
| Steve went to Starbuck's after his Guitar Center experience and had an iced coffee with an extra shot. The girl who took his order had one of those names that girls in high school have and she couldn't have been nice. |
| 5:57
| Steve is now stunned that David Hochberg is calling him. It's like he's making some sort of booty call. Should we see what he wants so he can break Steve's heart again. |
| 5:58
| David is in Philly right now but he'll be home tomorrow to give Steve a hug. It's too late, Steve filed the papers and David's stuff is on the driveway. |
| 5:59
| David just got in, he flew from Venice to Philadelphia. How convenient. Steve might not travel to Croatia with David but he'll get him somewhere from ORD. He's not going to make him take a shuttle bus to another terminal. |
| 6:00
| Does Eric have his arm around David right now, whispering stuff in his ears? If it makes Steve feel any better, David will not be doing live reads with Eric and Kathy, just the live chat. |
| 6:01
| Doesn't David see that they don't want him on the air, they just want his money? That's fine with Steve though, he'll keep being David's slut. |
| 6:02
| David is consulting for Jeff right now. Steve loves Jeff but you can't go into a building downtown without finding someone that Jeff hates. It's probably all part of some sort of passive-aggressive lashing out. |
| 6:03
| Steve had a meeting with Jeff today and of course he started out talking about himself. Kevin Matthews called him. Steve doesn't want to talk about any of that and he doesn't want to talk about how bad radio is or how everyone around here is a jerk. |
| 6:04
| Steve also doesn't want Jeff sending him a break-up email after hearing this. He's just trying to highlight some of the funnier things about him. |
| 6:09
| Steve does like Jeff. He's doing some sort of Fantasy Football thing that he's tying in with National Lampoons and Mr. Skin. |
| 6:10
| He was exhausted today after doing 3 radio interviews. He makes everyone call him Spaceball. |
| 6:11
| We still haven't executed a full Bob and Ron segment. Ron paying Buzz the money he owed him took a bit away from Steve and he went in another direction. |
| 6:12
| Ron doesn't go to Guitar Center but it's all just guys who couldn't make it as musicians. Steve said all that already, he doesn't need Ron saying it again. Bob and Ron are the reason Steve is hassled when he goes into Guitar Center. |
| 6:13
| This week we celebrate the birthday of Brian May of Queen who's probably never been to Guitar Center. Steve wants to play the Queen song today, even if it messes them up. |
| 6:14
| This Friday is the 60th birthday of Carlos Santana, another great guitar player. He's probably never been to Guitar Center either. Santana's from San Francisco which is where Guitar Center started so he's probably been there. That original one is really sweet though. |
| 6:15
| Song: Keep Yourself Alive, Queen |
| 6:18
| Bob and Ron still enjoy wearing the Queen/Mork from Ork outfit. |
| 6:19
| Live read: Illinois Lottery |
| 6:23
| Ben Gay is here and he's fantastico! It's always a pleasure to see Buzz, he's looking tanned and ready to party. Ben wants to see his Buzz's watch tan. |
| 6:24
| Steve says he has a sexy watch tan but he doesn't. Wouldn't is be nice if Buzz could wax his watch tan area? Ben will pay for it if he can watch and keep the video of it. |
| 6:25
| Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick will go before a Federal Court in Richmond, Virginia next week on charges that he participated in a dog fighting ring that spanned 9 states. The spanning of states is what gets the Feds involved. |
| 6:26
| Vick's NFL career could be over as well as his endorsement deal with Nike. Maybe he could start endorsing Petco or Alpo. |
| 6:27
| Mark Buehrle beat Cleveland for the first time in more than 2 years and Paul Konerko hit a 2-run home run as the Sox beat the Indians 5-1. It's too late for the Sox though. |
| 6:28
| Ben got himself one of those iPhones which is super cool. He's got all his Liza Minelli, Peter Allen and the Wicked soundtrack on there. Buzz would have pegged Ben as an oldies listener, he doesn't have the Oklahoma! soundtrack on there? |
| 6:29
| Ben prefers the movie version, maybe Buzz would like to come over some time and pop some popcorn and melt some butter and not put it on the popcorn. |
| 6:30
| The Cubs beat the Giants 12-1 today. Currently they're 4 games behind the Milwaukee Brewers which is doable. The Brewers haven't played yet so the Cubs could rise up even more. |
| 6:31
| 12:1 is a sound beating. Ben's been beaten like that in San Francisco but he had to pay for it. |
| 6:32
| Ben's asking for a pronunciation on Koyie Hill. Is it Coy or Koy-ee? Pete says it's Coy. Why is it spelled so weird though? |
| 6:33
| Ben should probably know how to say his name but he doesn't get too involved with the young players. He hates when they leave. If Buzz would like to join Ben he'll be holding a candle light vigil for Michael Barrett. Buzz had no idea he felt that way about Michael. |
| 6:34
| Barry Bonds again was out of the line-up today to rest his "oh my achin' knees!" Ben understands that WCKG"s own Dan Falato had lunch with Barry earlier in the week. So far no details have emerged about the lunch but Dan is very mum on that stuff. |
| 6:35
| Gary Player said Tuesday that he knows of at least one golfer who has used steroids and he urged golfing officials to begin testing for it. |
| 6:36
| One golfer who's sample Ben thinks would be interesting is John Daly. Not even for the steroids but just to see what else he's doing. |
| 6:42
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:43
| The Little Guys are having a giant tent sale. They don't sell giant tents, they put all of their electronics under the tent. |
| 6:44
| News with Buzz |
| 6:45
| Al Sharpton will not object if Don Imus returns to the air waves because he has a right to earn a living. Now he says that! Steve would like to hear Imus do play-by-play for the Rutgers women's basketball team. |
| 6:46
| An all-night debate in the Senate didn't do anything to help the Democrats pass an Iraq withdrawal bill. Way to go Democrats! |
| 6:47
| Marianne Pearl is suing Al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups for the murder of her husband Daniel. Osama is loaded so if she can get him into court, watch out. |
| 6:48
| That Al-Qaeda guy they caught in Iraq is apparently talking but he's saying that the group he works for has a fake name. So it's not much of a confession. |
| 6:49
| As it turns out only a small percentage of the violence in Iraq is from Al-Qaeda, the rest of it is just those knuckleheads fighting each other. |
| 6:50
| We should just pull out of Iraq and go find Osama. Leave a note that says "out to find Osama" and then leave. |
| 6:56
| Back to Buzz in the news room. Authorities in Wyoming believe National Guard sniper David Munis killed himself with a gunshot to the chest. |
| 6:57
| Authorities believe Munis shot his wife while she was on stage at a Cheyenne bar in the middle of a song she was singing. |
| 6:58
| Buzz has some bad news for Steve. Former astronaut Lisa Nowak is now saying that she never wore diapers while driving from Texas to Florida to confront the lover of her ex. That's too bad, Steve was hanging everything on that. |
| 6:59
| A couple in Modesto, California have been arrested for keeping a horse in their house. Police officers arrived at the house and found horse feces ankle-deep. |
| 7:00
| When Steve was a kid he went to a friend's house to practice with his band. When they walked in there was dog do all over the house which the parents didn't seem to care about. They also didn't care when he did things like make a flamethrower out of a can of hairspray. |
| 7:01
| Oprah's dog Gracie died after choking on a plastic toy. Oprah got something out of this though, she says that her dog lived everyday like it was her last. Don't all dogs do that? |
| 7:02
| Steve heard a promo for Matt and Brendan's show where Matt talked about his broken kitchen sink. That reminded Steve that he needs to start charging Matt rent now that he's out of college. |
| 7:03
| In the future if there's a problem with the sink Steve can get that fixed as the landlord. If Matt has his checkbook with him he can go ahead and take care of August right now. Steve won't even charge him a security deposit or do a background check. |
| 7:04
| Matt did get the sink fixed which Steve appreciates. There was a problem with the previous tenant and her long black hair which stopped up the sink. |
| 7:05
| Steve didn't think it would be this easy to collect the rent from Matt. It's sort of taking the fun out of it. |
