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| 2:03
| Just so Matt and Brendan know, the out cue for the cross talk is "see ya later guys." That's not out cue though, that's just what it is. |
| 2:04
| Matt and Brendan were in New Orleans over the weekend. Steve's never been and at times he's thought he was better off not going during his drinking days. From what he's seen in episodes of COPS, he'd probably end up in an alley with a transsexual. |
| 2:05
| Matt thought Steve had been based on all of his recommendations. Commander's Palace and Cafe du Mond are pretty standard go to New Orleans locations. |
| 2:06
| New Orleans doesn't seem like a very fun place to go sober though. Matt and Brendan were duped by a con-man, who said he could guess where they got their shows. Brendan didn't think the guy would be able to guess where he got his shoes. Brendan got his shoes on his feet. That's when you have to say "I don't have any money." |
| 2:07
| Over the weekend Steve stopped at the Hinsdale Oasis to use the bathroom. The bathroom at the gas station on the one side was closed so Steve had to talk across to the other side. |
| 2:08
| When he got back to his car some guy was giving him a story about how his car broke down and him and his girlfriend needed money for a tow. Steve told him he didn't have any money and then got into his Porsche. |
| 2:09
| There's nothing to say after "I don't have any money." That's the end of it. |
| 2:10
| Matt and Brendan did not get a Hurricane while in New Orleans because they couldn't find one. That's like the time Buzz went to the whorehouse and couldn't get laid. |
| 2:11
| They did have a couple Hand Grenades on Patrick Bertoletti's recommendation. It was more than enough sweet and sugary drinks for them. |
| 2:12
| Hurricanes have a lot of alcohol in them, like 2 of 3 shots of booze. Are there strip clubs down there? |
| 2:13
| Matt and Brendan went to Larry Flynt's Barely Legal which left a lot to be desired. It seems like a lot of those places on Bourbon are clip joints, did they have to buy the girls drinks? |
| 2:14
| Brendan did get yelled at by a stripper. This girl on stage looked at Matt and said "I think this guy wants a lap dance." Again, it was an ugly girl and Matt didn't want to pay for that lap dance so he said no. |
| 2:15
| Then she yelled at Brendan "why would you tell me he wanted a dance?!" Brendan didn't look too happy being yelled at by a stripper. |
| 2:16
| After the Hand Grenades Matt and Brendan didn't feel like drinking a Hurricane. There were a lot of shot girls walking around every bar too. A wise man, Jim Koch, once told Steve that drinking shots is where you get into the most trouble. That guy would know too. |
| 2:17
| The shots in the test tubes are a new phenomenon to Steve. It's only half a shot anyway. |
| 2:18
| At least Brendan's making an effort to get Matt a lap dance even if the girls have been good from far but far from good. |
| 2:19
| It can't be that hard to find a Hurricane in New Orleans though. It's probably better that they didn't get one. A Steve Dahl would go to Pat O'Brien's and drink two Hurricanes just to make up for not finding them in the first place. |
| 2:20
| After the two Hand Grenades it was only 10:30 and they wanted to get the full Bourbon Street experience. They ended up staying out until 4:30. Some of the bars close at 1:00 and some close at 8:00 AM. |
| 2:21
| Matt's favorite part of the trip was kissing a bride who was in New Orleans for a bachelorette party. |
| 2:22
| Matt and Brendan also almost got into a fight over Matt's fedora. They were in the bathroom and some guy walked in and said "Hey, Justin Timberlake called, he wants his hat back." |
| 2:23
| Brendan was in the stall and just started yelling at the guy. That hat is asking for trouble, Steve's not surprised. The women love that hat which is why it's trouble. |
| 2:24
| Matt kissed the bride on the lips but had to make out with the maid of honor who was probably the ugliest girl on Bourbon Street. The rest of the bridesmaids were hot though. |
| 2:25
| Brendan also dragged Matt to a club where they were the only two white dudes in the place. He tried to get a girl to dance with him and she made him buy her a drink. She still wouldn't dance with him though, it might be frowned upon. |
| 2:31
| Song: My Life, Melvin Taylor |
| 2:35
| Melvin Taylor is going to play for us live after Steve takes a break. First though, could Buzz tell us something about Melvin? |
| 2:36
| Buzz went up to see Melvin Taylor at Bill's Blues in Evanston on Saturday. It's Ron Lewis' favorite place but he wasn't there. Buzz didn't try to line up a double date or anything? |
| 2:37
| Buzz hasn't seen Melvin for quite some time. They used to play U.S. Blues on Wells Street back in the day. Buzz forgot how good Melvin was. |
| 2:38
| It was also funny that Eric Clapton had his Crossroads Festival in Chicago over the weekend and Melvin wasn't there. He's as good as anyone who played that thing. Buzz thinks he's definitely the best guitar player in Chicago and maybe in the world. Is this Buzz's own Crossroads Festival? Is he still mad at Clapton for stealing his look? |
| 2:39
| Melvin Taylor is the best guitar player Buzz has seen since Jimi Hendrix. Not only does he play the licks but he guitar is moving all over the place when he's on stage. |
| 2:47
| Melvin Taylor is here with his bass player Greg Rzab. Melvin has a box of old records, he was wondering if Steve could blow them up for him. |
| 2:48
| Melvin's latest album is available on his website. The song Buzz played today is not from his latest album though. All of Melvin's albums as well as some concert bootlegs he made of shows are available on there. |
| 2:49
| Steve has been making bootlegs of his shows but he's not sure if anyone is buying them. |
| 2:50
| Melvin's drummer is not here today. He's the brains of the operation and he works downtown but his drums are in Round Lake. The town or the lake? |
| 2:51
| Is Melvin gonna do any tricks while playing guitar because Buzz says he'll whip it around or play it with this guitar cord. He also plays his guitar with another guitar. |
| 2:52
| Melvin and Greg perform Sitting on Top of the World. |
| 2:55
| Steve snuck over to watch Melvin play and it was pretty awesome. Why kind of guitar is he playing? |
| 2:56
| Everything Melvin plays is homemade. Steve thought it was a Gibson and it was modeled after that. The guitar Melvin has came from Muddy Waters' band after they quit. |
| 2:57
| Pinetop Perkins was in that band and they went out on tour by themselves. Pinetop got hit by a train but he survived and he's still alive and he can still wail. |
| 2:58
| So Melvin is playing an Ibanez guitar with the Gibson pick-ups, so it's customized. Now what he needs to do is go to Gibson and get them to make a Melvin Taylor custom guitar. |
| 3:03
| Steve is all alone in the studio and he assumes it's because Melvin has stole Buzz from him. |
| 3:04
| Steve thought he heard the wail of a lonesome freight train in the hall during the break or it could have been Buzz practicing. Melvin might not know this but Steve and Buzz met in prison. Buzz was playing the harmonica in the cell next to his. He paid him handsomely in sex to stop playing. |
| 3:05
| Melvin's next gig is this Friday at the Maple Leaf Pub in Lisle. On August 11th he'll be at the House of Blues Pack Porch Stage. That's actually the Maple Pub in Lisle, the Lilac Village. |
| 3:06
| Melvin, Buzz and Greg perform Blow Wind Blow. |
| 3:10
| Steve might have to come out and see Melvin on Friday, he lives pretty close to Lisle. |
| 3:11
| Melvin has another idea for Steve, he has some old guitars that he wouldn't mind blowing up. |
| 3:18
| Buzz said that Steve has to go see Melvin live just to see the stuff he does with his guitar. He did balance his guitar on his hand by the head. The bass player threatened to do it too. |
| 3:19
| Steve wants to go see Melvin but he doesn't want him asking him up on stage. Buzz has the feeling that once Melvin gets on stage he forgets all about it. |
| 3:20
| Buzz sounded great on that last song too. And kudos to the Steve Dahl Show staff for putting it all together. Steve imagines it was a late-night phone call from Buzz after he saw Melvin play. |
| 3:21
| Pete probably thought it was a booty call from Aimee because her name comes up on the caller ID. Then it's Buzz asking if it's possible to have Melvin on the show on Monday. |
| 3:22
| If this is going to be a long story could Pete turn down the TV? It's actually Melvin and the gang packing up. He can tell it after they leave because Steve doesn't want anything hampering Pete's story. He wants every morsel of the Weekend Working Buzz story. |
| 3:23
| A correction from earlier, Lombard is the Lilac Village. Lombard, Lisle, it's all the same to him. Buzz is positive he's been at the Lilac Fest. Steve played it once but he doesn't like any of those festivals. It's a lot of people who like you and a lot of people who don't know who you are, walking by and yelling stuff. |
| 3:24
| Steve would rather have people hate him than not know him. When people don't know who he is it's like free-falling. |
| 3:25
| Steve's got CNN right now, Chief Justice John Roberts was taken to the hospital today. According to Newsweek he suffered a seizure 12 years ago on a golf course. |
| 3:26
| How can you tell if someone is having a seizure on a golf course, everything is so slow there. |
| 3:27
| Roberts fell while vacation at his home in Port Clyde, Maine. That sounds like the name of a fake town in a cartoon. |
| 3:28
| It's funny that the youngest guy on the Supreme Court, Joe Football, is being taken to the hospital. Maybe he tripped on his robe or something. Do they wear a summer robe? Maybe a nice white linen robe. |
| 3:29
| And also the Dow closed 92 points up today. Buzz took stock of his stocks over the weekend, did some math and got a little worried. Doesn't he have his money in funds? Let them take care of that. |
| 3:30
| Steve assumes that someone else is taking care of all that for him, taking his money out of one fund and putting it into a better one. He won't find out for another three months when he gets his quarterly statement. |
| 3:31
| Steve saw Len Walter today and he told him it's a good time to buy. Steve knows it's a good time to buy but it's all out of his hands. |
| 3:32
| Steve just doesn't want to run out of money and have to eat dog food. Buzz wouldn't want to serve dog food to his family. |
| 3:33
| Buzz is thinking more along the lines of dog biscuits but Steve was picturing the canned wet food, something you could heat up on put on bread. |
| 3:39
| Is Pete alone in his studio now? Is he even in there? Steve saw him walking down the hall to fill up his water bottle, which is a sorry sight. Can Steve just give Pete bottles of water? |
| 3:40
| Pete is trying to limit his consumption of plastic bottles. Maybe he should move out to Steve's house then. |
| 3:41
| So Buzz saw Melvin Taylor on Saturday night and then called Pete at 12:30 and left a message. He did the math outloud and told him to call at 5:00. Did Buzz see two movies? |
| 3:42
| There's other stuff that goes on with the movie trip. Buzz did not see The Simpsons Movie with Piper because they didn't not have the time. Saturday is movies with Piper and Sunday with Aimee. |
| 3:43
| Buzz and Aimee saw Rescue Dawn, the Werner Herzog movie with Christian Bale. Werner Herzog? Didn't he manage the Cincinnati Reds? Oh that was Whitey Herzog! |
| 3:44
| When Steve hears Werner Herzog he thinks art film. Steve was off course at his Werner Fassbinder festival, he loves foreign films. Actually, the only foreign films he likes are pornos. |
| 3:45
| When Buzz got home from the movie Pete hadn't called yet. Pete had the phone in his hand right at 5:00 when it rang and it was Buzz. When a Buzz is working on the weekend like that Pete shouldn't take any chances. |
| 3:46
| Buzz told Pete he was going to call Mary and then call him back, as long as Pete answered the phone, later. |
| 3:47
| By 10:30 Buzz hadn't called and Pete was wondering if they had different definitions of later. We learned last week that Pete was setting his alarm clock during the replay of the Townstone Financial show which is from 6:00 to 9:00 so they probably do have different definitions. |
| 3:48
| Buzz never called Pete back but only because he had already said it wouldn't be a problem to have Melvin in. |
| 3:49
| Steve appreciates Buzz calling everyone and it worked out fine. It's just funny to think of Buzz doing all that on a Sunday afternoon. |
| 3:50
| Pete always says it's not a problem and then figures out how to do it. Pretty much everyone on the show says that. |
| 3:51
| Buzz can keep the blues guys coming too, it's a good way to start off the show. Plus it expands the scope of how many black people Steve knows. |
| 3:52
| Steve gave Melvin a sweet soul shake after he played. There might even be a photo of the conclusion of the soul shake. |
| 3:53
| Even if it's just one guy and a guitar it's still good, like Jimmy Burns. Steve saw Jimmy in Hinsdale shortly after he was on the show. At first he said "i know that guy!" You don't see that many black people in Hinsdale except maybe Marv Dyson and his wife is white so it's a little different. |
| 3:54
| If it's one guy and a guitar then there's no chance of Steve being asked to jam with him. Steve doesn't really like to jam like that. Some girls only like to be seem when they're made up and Steve only likes to play in certain lights. Why do you think he rehearsed with The Nadas all those times? |
| 3:55
| Steve has another gig coming up with The Nadas but he hasn't announced where it is yet. That's always a big deal to Jill, announcing the location of the next show. |
| 3:56
| Apparently they're waiting until after Lollapalooza. Are they worried that people will be trying to see Pearl Jam and end up at Steve's show? |
| 3:57
| Steve can say that it's north of Half Day Road but it won't take you a half day to get up there because you won't be on a horseback. Now people are going to call in and say that's not why they call it Half Day Road. |
| 4:01
| It's a sad day when Lovie Smith can freak out Ryan Baker with a race joke. |
| 4:02
| Steve has some information on Half Day Road. It might be Mark Czerniec who always corrects Steve when he. Half Day Road comes from the name of the town Half Day which is now Lincolnshire. That's where Ron Lewis bases himself out of, they've got a Big Bowl and a Wildfire. That's actually where Steve's international headquarters are but he's only been there twice. |
| 4:03
| Steve's headquarters are located in the 60-story building that looks just like him. It's quite nice. |
| 4:04
| Lincolnshire looks better on the stationary but Half Day, Illinois has a certain ring to it. |
| 4:05
| It was thought that Half Day was named for the half day's travel it would take on horse back from there to downtown Chicago along Milwaukee Avenue. |
| 4:06
| In reality, and this is where Mark waits to burst Steve's bubble, the town is named after Halfda, a friendly Indian chief who's name meant "sun at it's meridian" or half the day in Aptakisic. |
| 4:07
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:08
| Buzz has a hideous hat trick of celebrity deaths to report. First it was Tom Snyder last night, then Ingmar Bergman and Bill Walsh, the white-haired wonder. Bergman died peacefully on his island in the Baltic, in black and white. |
| 4:09
| Steve was on Tom Snyder's show after Disco Demolition. He was wearing his army jacket and helmet and Meatloaf was there as well. Tom referred to them both as "Meatball and Stan Dahl." |
| 4:10
| When Steve was growing up in LA Tom Snyder was one of the main news anchors. After he left to do late night he was replaced by a guy who looked and sounded just like him and he's still there now. Ron Magers brother is also an anchor out there and he's a real jive-ass. |
| 4:11
| Steve also had disco records which he broken on his head and a tank of helium. Steve figured it would be easier to bring out props than to explain who he was. Steve's pretty sure we have that tape but he's not sure if it's readily available. |
| 4:12
| Pete has it available but Steve feels like he's in the middle of a Mexican stand-off. Pete probably wants to play it as a rejoin but he tells Steve it's available anyway. |
| 4:13
| Steve wants to hear the part where Tom Snyder does helium. It'll take Pete two seconds to find that but in the meantime he can play the part where Steve does helium. |
| 4:14
| Is there anyway Pete can play the one without the annoying 60 cycle hum? Because it's hard to hear what people are saying. |
| 4:15
| Steve did not have a second line after "well you can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a Chinese cook." But in classic showbiz fashion, Meatloaf asked him if he did, because he had nothing. |
| 4:16
| Steve feels that he deftly changed the subject and then changed to a different song rather than saying he didn't have a second line. |
| 4:17
| Steve felt he should have been on Tom's show for the entire hour or at least a half hour. He doesn't even remember what Meatloaf did on the show but whatever it was, he went onto his tour bus which now belongs to The Nadas and did something that is still on the bus to this day. |
| 4:18
| That tour bus is funky. Whatever he did is still buried in that bus, deep under the carpeting. |
| 4:19
| Buzz is wondering if Pete has access to the Ingmar Bergman tapes. Steve was in one of his movies, doing helium. |
| 4:20
| Steve always thought Tom was a really good interviewer. He started off doing radio in Milwaukee so they were kindred spirits. |
| 4:25
| Steve's pretty sure Tom was a little drunk when he appeared on his show. He used to say "fire up the colortini" at the beginning of every show so he probably had a nice set-up in his dressing room. |
| 4:26
| Of all the TV appearances Steve has done that was probably his best one. |
| 4:27
| Back to the headlines. The Iraqi soccer team, fresh off their victory at the Asian Cup is now afraid to return home, fearing they'll be killed by insurgents. |
| 4:28
| Under Saddam Hussein the soccer players were killed if they lost but now they're killed if they win? The captain of the team will not be returning home and also wishes that U.S. forces would leave as soon as possible. |
| 4:29
| Albert Gore III, or Mr. Party as Steve likes to call him, has plead guilty to possession of marijuana and prescription drugs that weren't his. |
| 4:30
| Former astronaut Bill Nelson is outraged at reports that NASA astronauts flew shuttle missions drunk. According to Nelson, that was a no-no back in his day. That doesn't mean it didn't happen though. Murder's a no-no but that still happens. |
| 4:31
| Boston's Brigham Women's hospital has announced it will begin doing face transplant. Buzz is fascinated by this story isn't he? He probably has been ever since he saw Face/Off. |
| 4:32
| It's not like they'll be doing the transplants for fun, yet. It's just for people who are born with a deformity or become burned or something. Buzz is still holding out for the day when he'll be able to open a catalogue, flip to a page and pick out a face. |
| 4:40
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 4:41
| Steve brought two cookies and he has selected the turtle nut for Buzz. He's not sure if Buzz enjoys a chocolate-based cookie but he thinks he'll like this one. |
| 4:42
| Mary's sister is going on Balance for Life and she's not even fat, she's starting a business and knows she won't eat healthy. |
| 4:43
| Steve will still get credit for her signing up right? Because Troy always complains about the number of people who call and sign up. Mary's sister is paying for the program so it should still count, even if she does know someone who works on the show. |
| 4:44
| Live read: Gierczyk Properties |
| 4:45
| Steve took a look at the Gierczyk boat-storage over the weekend after having some problems with his boat cover. He actually had two different covers and neither one of them seemed like the right one. |
| 4:46
| Steve and Mike Dahl were trying to cover the boat as Janet and Mike's girlfriend waited for them. Steve really didn't want to fight with Mike about it so they worked through it. Steve had to take his shirt off though because he really worked up a sweat. |
| 4:47
| Steve would like to say that if you're going to use a boat, you should leave it in the same order you found it for the next person. He can blame Matt and Pat for that since they were the last ones to use it. |
| 4:48
| Steve really didn't want to lose his temper and start getting mad in front of everyone. Buzz always feels guilty when he loses his temper in front of Piper. It doesn't get any better when they're older either. |
| 4:49
| Steve and Mike are both very similar temperament-wise but they did a good job of not going nuts about the boat cover. |
| 4:50
| So Steve's going to take a look at one of these boat garages. They have garage doors and regular doors so Steve could potentially sleep in there. |
| 4:51
| The whole thing was further complicated by Matt Dahl having all the parking passes for the marina. He was in New Orleans. |
| 4:52
| The boat garage also has a storage loft where Steve could probably sleep. Even if you don't have a boat, get a garage and have front row seats to watch Steve trying to boat. |
| 5:00
| It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Today Steve will be debuting a new segment within a segment, Manager Monday. |
| 5:01
| Everyday Monday Steve will talk to a different Taco Bell manager. Today he's talking to Sheila from what he believes is his Taco Bell, the one at the train station. |
| 5:02
| Buzz is wondering what Sheila eats when she eats Taco Bell. As the manager she tries everything. If she ever needs a taster, Steve's available. |
| 5:03
| Theoretically everyone has their own Taco Bell. The one at the train station is Steve's downtown Taco Bell. He has another one in Countryside too. |
| 5:04
| When Steve met with the Taco Bell people they told him the company had tasters that go around to the various restaurants. He told them he'd be willing to do that on the weekends. He's fill out an accurate report too and he could keep it off the air. |
| 5:05
| Steve and Buzz did not talk to someone at Comcast at the normal time today because their phone systems are done. Then it came back on and Dan Jiggetts called in. He has to go on the air at 5:30 today though. |
| 5:06
| If there's anything to report in the sports, it'll be part of the sportscast Steve does a little later. Tina is preparing it as we speak. She seems to have a way with words that Brendan doesn't. |
| 5:07
| Brendan is of course not here right now because he and Matt and filling in for Stan and Terry all week and doing their regular night slot. Matt was acting like it was so brutal but Steve does 5 hours everyday. |
| 5:08
| Steve thought Comcast's lines were all tied up because they had come out in favor of dogfighting or something. |
| 5:09
| There's a new thing that's happening to Steve that doesn't really need to happen. Lately he's been getting emails forward to him from the promotions department. He doesn't need those if they're negative. They've opened up a third avenue for people to email him through. |
| 5:10
| Steve's not sure why these emails have been forwarded to him but maybe Adam is lashing out at him. |
| 5:11
| People are getting crazy about this dogfighting stuff though. Buzz just wants to make sure that everyone on the show has come out against dogfighting. We are against it, totally. |
| 5:12
| Someone emailed promotions after Steve said Michael Vick should still be able to work. The person said that he doesn't deserve to keep his fame and fortune for torturing and killing hundreds of animals. Steve assumes this woman is talking about Michael Vick here. |
| 5:13
| At some point the animal people do get really irritating. It's never a good idea to encourage someone to be made an example of something. One day, it could happen to you. |
| 5:14
| Does Steve really need this on a Sunday afternoon? Steve just wrote back that as of now Michael Vick is not guilty. |
| 5:15
| What does Drew want, he's outside the studio with something. Steve doesn't need some sort of awkward gift-giving. |
| 5:16
| Drew has what he thinks is a really cool gift for Steve, an umbrella. Drew knows we're on the air right because he's not talking into his mic. It's like he's on a TV show doing the weather. |
| 5:17
| Drew actually used to do the weather in Columbus, Ohio. Did he always say "it's gonna be Hayesee this week"? |
| 5:21
| We were treated to a live in-studio blues performance by the legendary Melvin Taylor. Pete did a fine job engineering it even though he doesn't approve of the blues. |
| 5:22
| To make matters worse Steve said Pete likes Emo during the set-up and that didn't mess him up either. |
| 5:23
| Pete likes Emo music but he wouldn't want to be characterized as liking only one specific type of music. Emo doesn't seem like a moniker Pete would want hung on him. Steve likes Emo, he's all about Jimmy Eat World. |
| 5:24
| Buzz didn't know they were Emo, maybe he likes Emo too. Emo is for Steve and Buzz's sensitive side but all of Pete's sides are like that. He's like a marshmallow, no edge. |
| 5:25
| One way for Pete to get an edge it to kill a few people and then get some tear-drop tattoos. The girls in the gang would then be pulled in by the Emo side of him. |
| 5:26
| Steve has joked about Pete killing people in the past but hasn't lately because he actually thinks he's killed someone. Pete's like Jeffrey Dahmer but for women. He's got human skulls all over his apartment but nothing is labeled properly. |
| 5:27
| Pete feels that if, God forbid, he died today, the person who took over would have no problem understanding all the labels in his studio. They might have to relisten to about 1/3rd of the tapes. |
| 5:28
| Pete has actually had nightmares about Steve dying. In the dream he wakes up and there's breaking news on the TV. Then Pete selfishly thinks what he'd do if Steve died. He'd probably try to join him. |
| 5:29
| That seems like a drastic move to make but it's a nice thought anyway. Steve's pretty sure he'll be alright, he seems somewhat indestructible. If he does die though, Pete will have a great tape to bring in to Buzz. Then some local hip-hop artists can put a nice beat to it. |
| 5:30
| Speaking of hip-hop beats Steve got a letter about the whole Package thing. After Drew conducted the focus group he realized that Steve might actually have some good ideas he should listen to. |
| 5:31
| Steve would have advised WBBM-AM to not go with the Noon Business Hour umbrellas. Has anyone ever seen those on the street? |
| 5:32
| Since we changed to The Package Steve's been waiting to see some artwork for it. And where are the billboards at? Jack FM has billboards everywhere and they're no different than Steve's iPod. Buzz heard they've gone back to oldies. |
| 5:33
| Someone sent Steve a nice hip-hop jingle for The Package that he'd like to use. |
| 5:34
| How cool would Steve and Buzz be if they used this? Steve can see the Buzz Kilman Dancers on this one too. |
| 5:35
| Time for some sports. The Cubs will move into first place in the NL Central when they open a 4 game series against the Phillies tonight. Steve left out the word "try" from that sentence, probably because the entire thing is so egregious to him. |
| 5:36
| Ted Lilly faces Cole Hamels. The Cubs are within a half game of the Brewers, the closest they've been since opening day. |
| 5:37
| General manager Jim Hendry put to rest rumors that he would trade prospect Felix Pie to the Rangers in a package deal. See, it's everywhere! Subliminal advertising. |
| 5:38
| Steve knows it's pronounced Pee-ay and pie like apple pie but it's fun to say Pee-ay. |
| 5:39
| A deal that would have sent Jermaine Dye to the Boston Red Sox fell through. Steve's been trying to ween himself of the White Sox. It's helpful with football season starting up. |
| 5:40
| Former 49ers coach Bill Walsh died today. He invented the West Coast Offense. |
| 5:41
| The family of Josh Hancock, Mr. Party, has dropped their suit against Mike Shannon's Restaurant in St. Louis. The lawsuit alleged that several parties were to blame for his death including Shannon's restaurant, the Cardinals, the tow truck company that owned the truck he ran into and the driver of the car who was being helped on the side of the road. |
| 5:42
| Did Tina miss the run-on sentence class at Columbia? She just wanted to show how ridiculous the lawsuit was. Steve doesn't need that in the sports though, he needs a paper bag now after reading that sentence. |
| 5:43
| Falcons, or Fallcons QB Michael Vick appeared on V103's Porsche Fox this morning in Atlanta. Steve's very close to saying Fallcons the way Buzz does. |
| 5:44
| Former Bull Eddy Curry was the victim of a home invasion early Sunday morning in his Burr Ridge home. Curry, his family and an employee were all restrained with duct tape and robbed. |
| 5:45
| The incident sounds suspiciously like an earlier incident that occurred in the home of Antoine Walker. Is that Tina's commentary again? When did Steve become a mouthpiece for Tina Fondleus? |
| 5:46
| Curry and Walker have already spoken to discuss similarities. Steve assumes they're talking about the case and not the fact that they're both tall, black and have two arms. |
| 5:51
| That was a drop of Ron Santo from Saturday's game talking with who? He's trying to talk like Len Kaspar or Thom Brennamen which you don't need to do with Ron Santo. |
| 5:52
| You'd think Ron would be happier with the Cubs being so close to first place. Maybe he was upset because Pat Hughes was under the weather and back at the hotel. |
| 5:53
| Ron sounded as unhappy as he did when he got the call from the Hall of Fame saying he didn't get in. Of course Steve sounded the same way when he got the call that he wasn't getting in to the Broadcast Hall of Fame. |
| 5:54
| Are the Cubs going to do anything before the trade deadline? Steve heard they might try to get a catcher but Pete doesn't think they need one since they just got Jason Kendall. Plus they might get Woody back this week. |
| 5:55
| Is that Cialis or Viagra? Speaking of that, has anyone seen that new Viagra commercial? It's a bunch of dudes sitting around in the gayest jam session every singing a parody of Viva Las Vegas called Viva Viagra. |
| 5:56
| First of all, who admits they take Viagra or Cialis except maybe Coach. C'mon gang! |
| 5:57
| Buzz hasn't seen the commercial. It's just dudes in this gay roadhouse jamming on this song and looking like it's sounding really great. |
| 5:58
| Steve has the audio but Buzz really needs to see the chaches who are singing this song. They're not anyone famous, just chaches. |
| 5:59
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:00
| Steve doesn't know why he cares about understanding everything in these live reads. It's like he thinks he should understand everything on his show but those days are long gone. |
| 6:07
| Buzz just did a read for Hot Tubs Etc., their spokesman is Hot Tub Tony. They say you can trade your old hot tub in for a new one, how does that work? |
| 6:08
| They probably take your old hot tub when they deliver the new one. They probably don't expect you to carry it in yourself. |
| 6:09
| Steve's going to do a commercial because Pete is looking for a third piece of news audio that would actually be the first one played. He's pretty sure that's what Jim told him in a very roundabout way during the break. |
| 6:10
| Jim gave a very detailed explanation of the audio come from somewhere on earth and it would be the first tape played, through Pete's studio but he wasn't sure if it even existed or if John Roberts was still alive. He was saying crazy stuff like that. |
| 6:11
| Steve calls down to the news room. Hey Jim from Cincinnati! He sort of had a John Monad thing going when he was explaining where the tape was coming from. Did Jim watch John From Cincinnati last night? Was that not the best episode yet? |
| 6:12
| Jim loved it and he also thought it was the best one yet. Is Pete just going to let Jim bitch-seat him like that? Pete's looking for the John Roberts audio so he can't even say anything, which was probably all part of Jim's plan. |
| 6:13
| At this point Steve feels that the people making the show don't even care what happens to it because they'll be able to say they made something that good. |
| 6:14
| Is the audio of John Roberts having a seizure because Steve could probably approximate that on his 360º machine. |
| 6:15
| Pete's not looking for audio of John Roberts, it's actually his doctor, Katrina Furlich. |
| 6:16
| Steve's going to just cut off contact with Jim and Pete because they're both leading him down a path here. Was this all part of their plan? |
| 6:17
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 6:18
| Steve discovered something over the weekend that he really likes, croissants and ketchup. There's something about the combination of those two flavors and he's wondering if the French already know about it. |
| 6:22
| Steve's pretty sure there are 2 more episodes left of John From Cincinnati and he's not sure what happens after that. |
| 6:23
| Steve doesn't even care what happens. If those 2 are the last ones then that's fine with him. Steve's mind has been completely blown. Normally he can watch a show and at least figure out the process that the creators went through. |
| 6:24
| He's pretty sure John From Cincinnati wasn't created by humans. They've earned the right to do whatever they want to do with that show. |
| 6:25
| We are no ready for Buzz with all of his audio needs. Pete is poised and ready to go. Cue Buzz in 3, 2, 1. |
| 6:26
| News with Buzz |
| 6:27
| Chief Justice John Roberts had a seizure and fell on a dock near his Port Clyde summer home. Was that a boat dock or a doctor? |
| 6:28
| It seems like having a previous history of seizures would disqualify you from being on the Supreme Court. What if he had a seizure on the bench and started gaveling Ruth Bader Ginsburg, breaking all of the bones in her hand. |
| 6:29
| Paris Hilton's grandfather is so embarrassed by her jail sentence that he's taken away her $60 million inheritance. That's Baron Hilton, he invented the Hilton hotels. |
| 6:30
| Does Buzz want to know something that will alter the past and the present and Steve and Buzz's knowledge of Paris? That story about her inheritance is false. |
| 6:31
| That's according to TMZ though so who knows for sure. They're usually right though. |
| 6:32
| Caller George needs to correct Steve. It was Conrad Hilton who started the hotels. When he died he left $50 million to the Catholic Nuns of California. |
| 6:33
| The captain of the Iraqi soccer team, fresh off their victory at the Asia Cup, said he will not return home, fearing for his life. When Saddam was there the soccer players were killed for losing, now they're killed for winning? They probably wish he was still in power, this was what they were waiting for. |
| 6:34
| One of Michael Vick's co-defendant's plead guilty to all charges against him and agreed to cooperate with the government in their investigation. Buzz's audio is of a Humane Society guy saying that will be bad for Vick. Do we really need him telling us that? |
| 6:35
| Steve has a little more information about the Vick thing. Tony Taylor will cooperate with the government in it's case of Vick and 2 defendants who are charged with running an interstate dogfighting enterprise known as "Bad Newz Kennels" That was Steve's favorite part. |
| 6:36
| When you're thinking of starting up an interstate dogfighting enterprise, you want to pick a name that's going to look the weirdest on court documents. |
| 6:37
| A news chopper pilot is Los Angeles is calling for TV stations to pool their cameras into one vehicle so there aren't 5 in the air at once. |
| 6:38
| All of this chopper stuff gave ABC the chance to show off their news chopper and talk about why a crash like that would never happen to them. |
| 6:39
| Talk show host Tom Snyder, dead at the age of 71. Earlier in the show we covered Steve's appearance on the show. You'll have to listen to the podcast for that one. |
| 6:40
| Tyrone's checking in because Buzz is talking about all of his fellow choptater pilots. |
| 6:41
| Tyrone saw that ABC piece today because he's dating Stacey Baca. She's married so Buzz needs to keep that on the QT. He won't say down-low because that sounds gay. |
| 6:42
| Those two choptaters crashed because they were too close to each other! |
| 6:50
| Back to Buzz in the news room. |
| 6:51
| Some drivers are threatening a work stoppage in Chicago unless they get a fare increase. The last one was in 2005 and drivers say they need more money because of rising gas and insurance prices. |
| 6:52
| Neighbors from 10 towns in the area have banded together to exert pressure of BP and prevent them from dumping hazardous chemicals into Lake Michigan. Good luck with that! |
| 6:58
| Matt and Brendan are back from another round. They brought something back for Buzz which is coming down the hall as they speak. |
| 6:59
| Skynyrd's going to perform a stripper-gram for Buzz. Actually it's beignet mix from Cafe du Mond. |
| 7:00
| Matt and Brendan went to Cafe du Mond and it was great. They didn't have any chicory coffee because they didn't know it was part of the experience. The best part is you can make a complete mess in the restaurant and they don't care. |
| 7:01
| Matt and Brendan didn't take a nap during their 5 hour break, they went to see The Simpsons. Did Matt try to put his arm around Brendan or anything? |
