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| 2:02
| If you're married and you die, your wife gets all of your stuff. Even if you make a will that says otherwise. Stan would like to get an estate attorney on the line. |
| 2:03
| Why do we need to talk to an estate lawyer? Why are they talking about this? Because of Leona Helmsley? Steve doesn't care about that. |
| 2:04
| Steve has a will but Terry doesn't because he's irresponsible. Plus does he have anything to pass on? |
| 2:05
| The Leona Helmsley thing has nothing to do with her spouse though. Stan was just wondering how she could leave her dog $12 million, her chauffeur $100,000 and nothing to her grandkids. |
| 2:06
| Stan was just getting Terry nervous and worked out about the upcoming Armour family barbecue. Stan thinks people will act weird after he said that Terry's family like his cousin and his white wife more than they like Terry and his white wife. |
| 2:07
| Stan has been to a family outing with Terry's family and it seemed to him that they liked cousin Gene's white wife more than Lanelle. Stan thinks it's because the family likes Gene more than Terry. |
| 2:08
| Lanelle has the Terry stink on her because he's always sending her to do his bidding like make him a plate of food or something. |
| 2:09
| After the family blesses the food there's a mad dash to get to the food. Terry doesn't even ask Lanelle what she wants he just sends her to cut in line. Is Stan just mad that he can't do that? |
| 2:10
| Stan thinks the rest of the family doesn't like Lanelle cutting in line because she's not really part of the family. If Steve were in the family he'd be happy that Terry's got a white woman doing stuff for him. That's exactly what Terry's trying to say! |
| 2:11
| That's a weird observation from Stan. He shouldn't be invited to any more Armour family barbecues. He was already invited to this weekend's barbecue by Terry's mother. |
| 2:12
| Terry's mom also asked if Stan or his family wanted anything special. So Terry's also mad that she's not asking him what he wants. Terry's mom is a Catholic and in that religion strangers are always right. |
| 2:13
| Stan had a scam going last time where he took over and tried to say grace. He had 30 people holding each others hands saying a prayer. It sounds like Stan is trying to steal Terry's family. He wants to be the son. |
| 2:14
| Stan volunteered to say grace because he knew Terry wouldn't be doing it. Terry's grace has to be pretty weak though right? It's probably drunken slurring and shout-outs to Ozzie Guillen and former Bulls players he used to cover for the paper. |
| 2:15
| Why does Terry need Stan hanging out at his party? His mom probably thinks he's such a nice young man with a lot to say. Stan acts like he knows a lot but he really doesn't. Steve's listened to their show, everything he talks about involves someone having to call in to tell Stan what's going on. It's a bit of a front but kudos to Stan for making it work. |
| 2:16
| Stan went to grade school with Terry's uncle Chico so he's sort of in the family. The last time they were talking about some sheet metal work Chico's doing. Stan does know stuff about that so he just burrows in on that and then when he starts talking about Haiti or whatever people believe what he's saying. |
| 2:17
| It's been two years since Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. If Steve lived in that city he'd be really mad it wasn't rebuilt yet. |
| 2:26
| Song: The Saints are Coming, U2 & Green Day |
| 2:29
| That was rousing. That song was from the first Monday Night Football game last season in New Orleans. |
| 2:30
| That was a big deal and yet the city still isn't rebuilt. Shouldn't some do an exposè on that? |
| 2:31
| Buzz thinks there are exposès about New Orleans but no one cares. There's other stuff to worry about like the war and the toe-tappin' Idaho senator. |
| 2:32
| Steve taps his feet all the time when he's in a bathroom stall, he had no idea it was a come-on. He's driving guys crazy in there. Steve doesn't think he'd want to have sex with another dude in a dirty, stinky men's bathroom. Steve still thinks that you don't have to be gay to engage in that kind of behavior. At some point some dudes are just hard-up and the only place to get automatic sex is from another dude. There's no place with a bunch of girls hanging out who will have sex with you if you tap your foot. Not for free at least. |
| 2:34
| The whole thing is creepy though. Men's public bathrooms are pretty creepy in general. Every time Steve goes into one he thinks something like that is going on. That's why he belongs to the Admiral's Club at the airport. |
| 2:35
| Steve has never been propositioned by a man in a bathroom but Buzz has. It was in a grocery store when he was around 16. The bathroom is it's own playing field. |
| 2:36
| The guy didn't say anything to Buzz but he showed him something that he can't describe in a public forum. "Look what I found in the produce aisle." |
| 2:37
| The bathroom was a mess and there just happened to be a hole in the wall that separated his stall from the next stall. He looked in and you wouldn't believe what was looking back. Generally speaking if you go into a bathroom and there's a hole in the wall you should leave. |
| 2:38
| Nothing like that has ever happened to Steve because he really keeps to himself in the bathroom. He looks straight ahead, he couldn't be any closer to the urinal and he doesn't say anything to anyone. |
| 2:39
| There was one time, returning from a Teenage Radiation gig, when Steve and Garry stopped at a truck stop. There were three urinals and Steve went to the middle because it was empty. |
| 2:40
| There were two truck drivers who knew each other, came in together and bracketed him. They didn't say anything but it felt weird. Buzz is surprised he chose the middle urinal. |
| 2:41
| Buzz goes through the dilemma of which urinal to choose every time he goes to the bathroom on the floor here. And by that he doesn't mean he's going to the bathroom on the floor. |
| 2:42
| Maybe choosing the center urinal is some sort of code along the lines of foot-tapping. People need to know these codes so they don't get arrested or whatever else. |
| 2:43
| It doesn't sound like the Idaho Senator did anything wrong, he was just tapping his foot. Maybe he had a Charlie horse or something. There are apparently past incidents with him and he didn't tell his family about it. |
| 2:44
| There should be a list of rules so people know what not to do. People as sexy as Steve and Buzz need to know these things. It'll also help to know what to do if they are looking for something. |
| 2:45
| Can't we just go to the bathroom in the bathroom and leave the sex for the forest preserves? Because Steve never goes to the forest preserve. |
| 2:46
| Every time Steve talks about this guys call in who are into this sort of stuff. That's freaky because that also means they're fans. Then every time he drives by a forest preserve he wonders if there are any fans in there. |
| 2:47
| If Steve is ever caught in a forest preserve he should just say he's out there signing autographs. He's got a huge fanbase in the forest preserves. |
| 2:48
| Larry Craig plead guilty to the charges against him but you can't really plead guilty to something like that unless you're really guilty. What happens in Minneapolis does not stay in Minneapolis. |
| 2:49
| Caller Tom has some info about a signal that might attract a male suitor in a public bathroom. His wife used to work at the forest preserve but this was 20 years ago so the signal might not be active. |
| 2:50
| Guys would carry a Diet Pepsi can and put it down on the floor of the stall in the bathroom if they were looking for something. Steve drinks Diet Coke so he's fine. |
| 2:51
| Steve will never forget the one guy who called in a few years ago and said he picked a guy up at a forest preserve and then brought him home. |
| 2:52
| That does seem much easier and it's not illegal. You'll never get rejected either and on a surface level guys can usually get along with each other. Pop a beer, watch some sports center and then have sex. |
| 2:53
| Steve thought that parking your car backwards at the forest preserve was a signal and he sees that every time he drives by. It's sort of exciting to see that but in a "wow, that's going on where a family just had their picnic" way. |
| 2:54
| Steve really would like a compendium of signals though. We know about the foot-tapping but what else is there? If Steve's hand comes under the stall that means he's out of toilet paper. |
| 2:55
| People are calling in but none of them seem to know any signals so God only knows what they're saying to him. Maybe Brendan's just writing them all down for himself. |
| 3:00
| Idaho's not so bad but apparently their airport doesn't have the same kind of action they have in the Minneapolis airport. They will soon though. |
| 3:01
| As Steve mentioned in his blog today, ironically all Senator Craig had to do was go to the Boise Craigslist and find all sorts of dudes looking for action. |
| 3:02
| If Steve should die suddenly and his computer is seized Buzz will have to explain why it appears as if he was cruising for dudes in Boise. |
| 3:03
| The first ad Steve came across ended up just being a woman making fun of the Senator which was a little disappointing. |
| 3:04
| Steve needs to stop looking at these ads. Buzz would imagine that sometimes this is how it starts. Steve had to make sure there was a Craigslist for Boise and they had this sort of stuff. |
| 3:05
| Steve doesn't really aspire to be a writer although he has a column in the Tribune. He's been doing it for two years and yet he still hasn't been nominated for a Pulitzer. |
| 3:06
| But writing a blog everyday has really helped Steve become a better writer. It's the same thing as radio, if you do it everyday you get better at it. |
| 3:07
| People ask Steve how to get into radio and he used to say "you shouldn't have to ask" but now you can do a podcast everyday and probably get better at it. |
| 3:08
| Why would Steve want to give someone advice about getting into radio anyway? So they can take his job? He really needs to start working on keeping Matt and Brendan down because they're getting too good. |
| 3:09
| Live read: The Admiral |
| 3:10
| Steve's goal is to have the first Admiral/Monday Night Football event be so good that they'll want him there every week. Buzz will be there, it's sort of in his neighborhood and he's never been. Steve's never been either but as Joe Walsh would say "they tell me it's nice". |
| 3:11
| Steve is tapping his foot right now but that is not a come-on. |
| 3:12
| The Monday Night Football event will also feature a topless field goal kicking competition with instant replay. Steve's pretty sure he'll be emceeing that. |
| 3:13
| Steve told the sales department that he wants to go to The Admiral every Monday night. They probably want to make sure he actually likes it. What's there not to like? He's getting paid to go to a strip club. |
| 3:14
| What a country this is that we live in where a young man, such as Steve, can get to the point where he can get paid to go watch nude girls in a field goal kicking competition. |
| 3:15
| We started the show off with a song from the first Monday Night Football game last season in New Orleans. What a different a year makes, this year Steve will be hosting an event at The Admiral. |
| 3:16
| That song got Steve thinking about Shawn Mullins cover of House of the Rising Sun from his last album 9th Ward Pickin' Parlor. |
| 3:17
| Song: House of the Rising Sun, Shawn Mullins |
| 3:22
| Shawn recorded a lot of that album in New Orleans after the flood. This is a joke strictly for musicians but he probably used a lot of wet reverb. Steve will be at Guitar Center all week folks. |
| 3:28
| Steve has some important information for Buzz that he should probably know. The location of the next beach broadcast has been changed because the Broken Oar is under water. |
| 3:29
| Buzz cannot broadcast underwater. Steve can though as a scuba diver. The bar is on Lake Barrington which flooded because of the storms. |
| 3:30
| When Steve goes over the Des Plaines river on his way home, in a canoe dressed as Lewis or Clark, he's never seen it that flooded before. |
| 3:31
| Steve has moved the last broadcast to extremely dry land at Bandito Barney's in East Dundee. There's just a stream nearby but that's very manageable. |
| 3:32
| We've already given away some VIP passes which will of course be transferable to Bandito Barney's, which isn't that far from the Broken Oar. |
| 3:33
| Listen this Friday to win more VIP passes which include special VIP seating, right on Buzz's lap, as well as food and drink. |
| 3:34
| Did Steve say the sponsor names alright? Because the last time he did someone made it into a promo and Steve thought he slurred "Saturn" and then had to hear it several times a day. |
| 3:39
| Caller Laura wishes Buzz a happy birthday. Is it already his birthday again? |
| 3:40
| Laura wanted to let Steve know that Bandito Barney's is very close to the Fox River. Steve was mislead earlier this week by a description of the bar. It has a fake stream in the beer garden. |
| 3:41
| The Fox River is very high, just like Steve and Buzz. Laura doesn't think Steve will pass over the river when he drives up to Bandito Barney's. |
| 3:42
| Steve was planning on riding his bike up the trail along the Fox River to the bar. That could take a few days though. |
| 3:43
| Laura also wanted to add that the last Dahlfins gig was great. Her sister treated her to a hotel room down the street and a cab ride to and from the bar so she could drink all night. Why wasn't Steve alerted to that? |
| 3:44
| It was raining when Steve left the bar and he had to go around to the other side of the car and make sure Buzz didn't ram his door into his car. Buzz was parked right next Steve and that seemed like something he would do. |
| 3:45
| Actually Steve imagined Chris Wood doing that to his car while Buzz and Aimee are in the backseat making out. |
| 3:46
| Steve had a really good time at Austin's. Laura didn't bring the beach ball did she? That was really annoying. Steve threw it back out into the crowd because people were whining, then The Nadas started doing funny stuff with them. |
| 3:47
| The Nadas can never think of anything funny to do on stage but when Steve's in the middle of something suddenly they're doing physical comedy. |
| 3:48
| Eventually Stephanie found the beach balls and popped them. There was also this irritating guy off to the side who kept yelling things like "put some Mick Jagger into it!" How do you respond to that? Steve had someone shine a light on the guy which shut him up. |
| 3:49
| If you have a bar on a river it's probably going to get flooded eventually. As usual people were mad about the flooding, even though they knowingly bought a house on a river. |
| 3:50
| Sometime people accept the fact that they're going to get flooded eventually but some people are really mad about it. |
| 3:51
| Last year there was a really bad storm around Steve's neighborhood that produced similar damage to what happened last week up on the North Shore. Last year there was no news coverage but if you throw it up in the Wilmette/Winnetka area all of the stations cover it. |
| 3:52
| There was one guy up in that area who was super mad about Com Ed not having the power back on. Maybe it wasn't on because the guy was such a jerk. |
| 3:53
| Does Pete have that? Steve's not sure what channel it on but if Buzz didn't see it then it wasn't on NBC. |
| 3:54
| Last summer Steve's power was out for a week and there weren't any reporters out to ask him how he felt. |
| 3:55
| Buzz's power was out for 3 hours and he totally panicked. Mainly he was worried about that pint of Haagen-Daas in his freezer. Because that's hard to come by. |
| 3:56
| Steve's favorite part of the power outages is when people open their refrigerator so the camera can look in there, thereby letting any cold air out. |
| 3:57
| On the phone is Pat Boyle from Comcast Sportsnet. Not to be Programming Guy but Pat doesn't know why Buzz is promoting the Sox game on Friday when they still have the Cubs game tonight. |
| 3:58
| Steve was going to mention that because it's a big game for them. Last night was their biggest rating for a Cubs game ever. Pat's wondering how Steve is taking this run by the Cubs. |
| 3:59
| Steve doesn't hate it but to him the baseball season is over. He doesn't have any animosity towards the Cubs and he wouldn't mind if they won it just to balance things out a little bit. |
| 4:00
| It's be nice for the Cubs to win it just so we don't have to hear about the 98 years of not winning or whatever. |
| 4:01
| Of course if the Cubs do get to the World Series the media will probably queer it by dragging Sam Siannis out there. |
| 4:02
| Pat thinks it's a fun team to watch, like the 2005 Sox where it's a different guy every night getting the job done. They're finding ways to win as Hawk would say. |
| 4:03
| Steve tuned in just as the Cubs were starting to get some runs. A lot of people are crediting Bob Uecker's rendition of the 7th Inning Stretch with sparking the crowd and then the Cubs. He was booed mercilessly for his rendition which included "root, root, root for the Brewers" but he also threw in something about the Cubs. |
| 4:04
| Then the Wrigley faithful sang their own rendition of the song after he was done. Steve doesn't get why they let Uecker sing the Stretch but they won't let him up there. |
| 4:05
| Steve likes Lou Piniella also so that's making the Cubs winning a little easier to take. Steve hates St. Louis too, he doesn't like the town. All the people from St. Louis are cheeseballs. |
| 4:06
| Yesterday Mark Schanowski was on the show and Steve imagined Pat waiting out front for him to drive up to Wrigley. Is Mark now waiting in front in the Comcast Yugo, honking the horn? |
| 4:07
| The 2005 World Series definitely makes it easier for Steve to appreciate what the Cubs are doing. Plus if they do win then Cubs fans will experience that post-Series depression. |
| 4:08
| Steve's not rooting against the Cubs, it's just interesting that it's happening. Especially given their tawdry history. Steve has a lot of fans who are Cubs fans so he doesn't begrudge them this. |
| 4:09
| Steve's still go the Bears to look forward to. The baseball season is too long anyway. |
| 4:10
| Could Steve get Buzz's TV off the religious station? That's not what he wants to watch? Steve doesn't know how to change the channel with the remote, the TV situation in the studio is still being worked on. |
| 4:11
| The Little Guys are supposed to come in and fix it but as Steve mentioned yesterday Ed faked a heart attack and couldn't come in. He was able to get to Buzz's house to scout locations for his surround system. |
| 4:16
| Why is Bob Uecker even singing the 7th Inning Stretch? He's not even famous any more. The only reason people might still know him is because of that chick who's stalking him. |
| 4:17
| Caller Randy also wishes Buzz a happy birthday. Alright let's not start that, Buzz's birthday was two weeks ago. |
| 4:18
| How are things out in Sandwich today? Do they still skydive? Everyone in Sandwich is getting ready for the big festival. Do they have good sandwiches? |
| 4:19
| Randy wanted to comment on the guy from the North Shore who was really mad that Com Ed didn't turn his power back on. Did Pete find that yet? |
| 4:20
| Pete hasn't found it yet. It sounds like he's given up in there. If he can't find it that's OK but he should say he can't find it. |
| 4:21
| Randy still has the guy on his TiVo and wants to put it on YouTube because it's so funny. The guy asks the cameraman and reporter to put their stuff down and help him fill sandbags. Does Randy remember what channel it was on and what day so we can get Pete out of his dither? |
| 4:22
| Randy says it was on Tuesday, as in yesterday. It can't be yesterday, it must have been Monday. |
| 4:23
| Randy watched it yesterday so that's what he's going on. Does he see the flawed logic in that? We can't go by the Randy TiVo timeline. Suddenly Pete doesn't look so bad. |
| 4:24
| The funniest part about the whole thing was the camera guy shaking the camera because he was saying no to filling sandbags. That's a nice payoff right there. Steve didn't think he'd payoff but he did. |
| 4:25
| Live read: Gierczyk Properties |
| 4:26
| Should Steve take the rest of these calls or does Buzz want to do headlines? One guy wants generator-buying advice but if Steve takes that call he'll sound like Stan. The other guy has a bit worked out about Miss Teen South Carolina singing the 7th Inning Stretch. |
| 4:27
| Steve doesn't want to recommend a generator to someone. What if something happens and then they blame him. |
| 4:28
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:29
| Richard Jewell, the man once suspected of bombing the 1996 Summer Olympics, is dead from complications of diabetes. Once you're accused of bombing the Olympics your life probably isn't the same after that. Even when they say you didn't do it there's no coming back. |
| 4:30
| A new report issued by NASA says there's no evidence that indicates astronauts were drunk during any space missions. Of course there's no way to prove that. |
| 4:31
| US Weekly is reporting that Owen Wilson was doing heroin and speed at the time of his suicide attempt. It's also being reported that he was influenced to take the drugs by actor Steve Coogan. |
| 4:32
| Wilson has also pulled out of a movie he was planning to do with Ben Stiller which would have been their 8th movie together. Buzz couldn't believe they'd done 8 movies together. |
| 4:33
| Steve can think of a few of them. There's Zoolander of course and Meet the Parents. Wedding Crashers comes to mind as well as Shanghai Noon. And of course Owen Wilson was in the Cable Guy, that's when Steve first became aware of him. |
| 4:34
| Idaho Senator Larry Craig still claiming he's not gay but now at least one man has come forward to say that he had an encounter with Craig in a bathroom at Union Station in Washington. The man's voice has been altered to hide his identity. |
| 4:35
| The TSA will begin searching headwear at U.S. airports including hats and turbans. Do only Muslims wear turbans? |
| 4:36
| According to Mark it's actually Sikhs who wear turban. That must be hard to wrap everyday. Do they have clip-on turbans for kids like how Steve had a clip-on tie when he was a kid. |
| 4:43
| Someone sent Steve an email saying he has the Senator Craig story wrong and that he tapped the foot of the undercover cop. That's not what happened though. |
| 4:44
| You'd think that before you sent an email to Steve saying he was wrong you'd check to make sure you were right. Steve would still like a list of the telltale signals in a men's room. |
| 4:45
| It seems weird that he went all the way to Minneapolis to do that in a men's bathroom too. Did he have business there? He sure did! |
| 4:46
| Minneapolis is probably the biggest city near Idaho, it's a hub. If he went to a bigger city this bust would have never happen. You tap your foot in a bathroom stall in a bigger city and you're in for a wild weekend. |
| 4:47
| If you're going to correct Steve at least make sure that you're right. Steve's willing to admit when he's wrong but he doesn't have time to show why other people are wrong. |
| 4:48
| Just to prove Steve's right he's going to read from the police report which describes exactly what happened. |
| 4:49
| In a way you have to give kudos so the guys who know what they want and know how to get it. They know all the foot signals. |
| 4:56
| There was some dude on ABC talking about "cruising" and he's some sort of expert. He even has a website that lists all the places. |
| 4:57
| Steve went to that website also so once again if he should die and people look at his computer, Buzz will need to explain it. |
| 4:58
| Steve learned on that website about the foot tapping signal. As a broadcaster you need to have all the information so you can talk about it. That being said, Steve's browser has a troubling history. |
| 4:59
| Steve started out on the legit sites like ABC7.com but then they had links to other websites and messageboards. Then Steve did a Google search for "cruising codes" but spelled cruising wrong. |
| 5:00
| Then he searched for "cruising bathrooms" and didn't find anything he wanted. Then when he was writing his blog he had to go to Craigslist to see if they had a Boise page. |
| 5:01
| An interesting thing about Boise is that the dudes don't like to include pictures of their willies. Usually guys can't post enough photos of their willies. |
| 5:02
| So Buzz understands that now, just in case. Steve could just clear his browser history but there are a few things he'd like to go back to. None of this cruising stuff though. |
| 5:03
| Buzz feels he'll have a lot of explaining to do but Steve disagrees. All he has to do is put this up on a dry-erase board and chart it all out. |
| 5:04
| Once again Steve would like to read from the police report of the incident just to prove he's right. He was taken to task by a listener who said he was wrong about what happened but he wasn't. |
| 5:05
| Steve did the research about this and once again he would like Buzz to explain all of this should the need arise. We could even play back this audio. |
| 5:06
| Caller Mike was talking about this at work and someone else Googled the story. Was that somebody Mike? Because there are probably a lot of dudes walking around with a questionable browser history. |
| 5:07
| The person at Mike's work found some more info about the code and how many times the first guy is supposed to tap and then how many times the second guy taps back. |
| 5:08
| Ironically the video of George Michael's Faith starts off with a close-up of him tapping his foot. That's interesting. |
| 5:09
| Does Mike ever watch Flight of the Conchords? One of Steve's favorite things on that show was when the band's manager said that they didn't need girlfriends to be successful because Wham didn't have girlfriends. |
| 5:10
| Steve's officially done talking about this. If he takes any more calls on it he and Buzz will be pulled into another dimension. Although now Steve knows not to tap the beginning of Faith when he's in a men's room. |
| 5:11
| Does Pete have that audio? Can we play it or was he waiting for the break? Steve's not sure if he did a good job of explaining it but he was very distracted by Mike acknowledging everything he said and his loud car. The show is very subtle too. |
| 5:12
| Pete plays the audio. Steve doesn't think he could do it justice without the New Zealand accent. He's not sure if that's a funny accent in New Zealand but it's funny here. |
| 5:13
| The band is compared to Tenacious D and in the last week they sort of did a Tenacious D-type song. They're funnier than Tenacious D anyway. |
| 5:14
| It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. All of this research made Steve very hungry. |
| 5:20
| Steve knows that Buzz has all of his TV shows scheduled but he should check out Flight of the Conchords. It comes on right after Entourage and it's on On Demand also. |
| 5:21
| Steve would like to know if those are funny accents in New Zealand too. Steve thought the show was on there before it was on here so they must be. |
| 5:22
| Caller Fred is a member of Steve's big gay fanbase. He'd have to say that a large majority of gay men think this Senator Craig is creepy. Who wants to do it in a dirty bathroom? |
| 5:23
| Time now for idiot #1 and idiot #2, Bob and Ron. They are not gay, just idiots. They probably are perverted though, especially Bob. He might know all the signals, we just haven't asked. |
| 5:24
| All Bob knows about that is the dudes standing in shopping bags to hide their numbers. |
| 5:25
| Bob and Ron are here and they'll be hosting a Labor Day show, on this station. What are they doing, a countdown or something? |
| 5:26
| That countdown is from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM on Monday. They'll be playing a bunch of songs about work but it's not a countdown in case they don't finish it. |
| 5:27
| This week in rock history we celebrate the birthday of John Phillips from The Mamas and the Papas. You wouldn't think of them as a big drug band until you read his autobiography. He took more drugs than the Grateful Dead. |
| 5:28
| Of course John Phillips went on to found the Papa John's pizza chain and now looks younger and dorkier. Why does Steve want to see the founder hawking pizza? Plus it doesn't taste good anyway. There's sugar in the sauce! |
| 5:29
| Also this Friday is Van Morrison's birthday, probably Ireland's greatest singer. He started in Them and went on to great success as a solo artist. |
| 5:30
| This week is also the birthday of Danny Seraphine from Chicago. Steve noticed that they've chosen a short Chicago song this week which is just more work for him. |
| 5:31
| Danny was up in the studio a few weeks ago and he left some autographed CDs. Do Bob and Ron accept CDs? |
| 5:32
| Steve and Buzz have a fair amount of people up in the studio for interviews but he's never gotten more compliments than he did after the Danny Seraphine interview. |
| 5:33
| Steve thought it went very well but the only thing he didn't ask him-which was something Buzz wanted to know-was why he was kicked out of his own band. |
| 5:34
| Steve had already asked him about Terry Kath and he figured that something must have happened to get him kicked out of a band he co-founded. |
| 5:35
| Song: Free, Chicago |
| 5:37
| The CD started to go into another song at the end, was that sloppy? Buzz is wondering who wrote those lyrics. They seem a little repetitive. |
| 5:38
| Well now Steve has to replay it or else everyone will think he's crazy. Who edited this? We're not going to have that kind of thing on Labor Day are we? |
| 5:39
| Steve wants to play a Van Morrison song too. Bob's wondering which one he wants to hear because they brought a few. |
| 5:40
| Steve has the CD so he can just pick whatever he wants. Did Bob think he'd play it from in there? |
| 5:41
| Song: And It Stoned Me, Van Morrison |
| 5:49
| Ben Gay is here and he's late. He missed his cue by at least a measure. Buzz was wondering if Ben's heard the show today, does he have anything to add about the Senator from Idaho? |
| 5:50
| The reason Ben was slightly lately getting in here is because he had to remove his tap shoes. He always wears them into the bathroom. |
| 5:51
| Ben doesn't have much to add but he did have sex with that Senator in a bathroom. It wasn't that great either, he's very selfish. |
| 5:52
| Ben's best bathroom sex experience was with George Michael. It's not really Ben's favorite place to have sex though because men's rooms are always filthy. |
| 5:53
| Ben had sex with him in a bathroom at John Wayne Airport. There are even some rumors about John Wayne's manhood. He might have been cruising his own bathroom. |
| 5:54
| OK onto the sports. Ben has some stuff about the Cubs even though everyone's probably aware of what's going on. For those out there just awaking from a coma Ben will go on. |
| 5:55
| The Cubs host the Brewers tonight again at Wrigley Field. The Cubs are now 2 games ahead of the second place Cardinals and 2 1/2 games ahead of the third place Brewers. |
| 5:56
| Carlos Zambrano takes the mound for the Cubs and he also takes the cake as far as Ben is concerned. The Brewers send their ace Ben Sheets to the mound and he's someone Ben would like to get between the sheets. |
| 5:57
| Do guys cruise up at Wrigley? It's probably too open to do that but they do have those long troughs in the bathrooms. |
| 5:58
| The White Sox...who cares about that. |
| 5:59
| An Aurora man was charged with cyberstalking the girlfriend of Bears safety Adam Archuleta. |
| 6:00
| Authorities say the man began sending threatening emails to to former Playboy playmate Jennifer Walcott who is carrying Archuleta's baby. |
| 6:01
| So he must be harassing her because of Playboy and not because of who she's dating since Archuleta just came to the team and the season hasn't started. He just happens to be the guy who knocked her up. |
| 6:02
| Ben would also like to say that he was listening to the show the other day, because he's Buzz's biggest fan, and he heard him talking about dogfighting. |
| 6:03
| Buzz said he used to know guys in Florida who were involved with dogfighting but there was no killing of animals. Steve disagreed with Buzz but as it turns out he was right. |
| 6:04
| There is a more genteel world of dogfighting and then there's the hip-hop guys who kill the dogs. |
| 6:05
| Ben is being informed that he needs to take a break. He's going to put his tap shoes back on and see if Pete or Jim kid are in the men's room. They know they want it. |
| 6:10
| That Adam Archuleta sounds like the kind of guy you'd want to have a baby with. Ben would like to but he can't because he had a hysterectomy. |
| 6:11
| Now back to the sports. Maria Sharapova, who is not the one who loses all the time, showed up at center court in the US Open last night in a bejeweled dress and sequined purse which she borrowed from Ben. |
| 6:12
| Bengals defense end Frosty Rucker has been suspended for the team's season opener after he plead guilty to one count of false imprisonment and one count of vandalism. So he tied up his girlfriend and spray painted her? Those football players are crazy. |
| 6:13
| Speaking of crazy football players one-time USC stand-out Todd Marinovich faces the latest in a long line of legal troubles. Ben went to USC and he was also one of the Trojan mascots. |
| 6:14
| Marinovich is facing felony drug possession charges after he was arrested while skateboarding on the Newport pier. |
| 6:15
| Ben is pretty sure that a young Steve Dahl used to work that boardwalk, handing out leaflets for a record store/head shop. He gave them to people coming off the ferry to and from Balboa Island. |
| 6:16
| Steve used the money he earned to buy records and and frozen bananas, which is very big down there. He fed his frozen banana habit which got up to 6-8 per day. He has some problems with excess, it was a monkey on his back. |
| 6:17
| He also ate 4 orders of fish and chips per day from this one place. It was a cry for help that no one heeded. There was one summer that Steve was on speed to lose weight and it did work. |
| 6:18
| Ben's ghost-writing Steve's autobiography so he knows all of this stuff. Steve's favorite frozen banana was from Banana Roll-a-Rama, dipped in chocolate with sprinkles. |
| 6:19
| Police found Marinovich hiding in a car port which is what they call garages out there. Robert Blake had a nice carport at his Taj Mahal house out there. |
| 6:20
| Marinovich was in possession of meth when he was arrested. Do you really want to skateboard after doing the meth? |
| 6:28
| That drop about meth from My Name is Earl reminded Buzz of Spun with Mickey Rourke. That is a great movie. |
| 6:29
| News with Buzz |
| 6:30
| Richard Jewell, the former security guard at the Centennial Olympic Park who was accused of the Olympic bombing, is dead. |
| 6:31
| Jewell was initially hailed as being a hero for noticing a suspicious backpack containing the bomb. He was later accused by the FBI of being the bomber and his life was subsequently ruined. |
| 6:32
| How about that bill Blago just passed to help people pay for their electricity bills? If you can't pay your electricity you should be living in a car. That guy is the worst governor Steve has ever seen. |
| 6:35
| Oprah is reportedly scouting the Big Easy for possible locations of upcoming shows. Shouldn't she have been there today? |
| 6:36
| Remember when she demanded to be let into the Superdome after the hurricane hit but they told her she shouldn't. Then she went in and got sick. |
| 6:37
| A majority of Falcons fans don't want Michael Vick to return to their team after he serves his prison sentence. |
| 6:38
| Steve did some research about the Falcons owner saying he wouldn't rule out Vick coming back to the team. Turns out the only way they can recoup the signing bonus from him is if he stays on the team. |
| 6:39
| Alleged drug abuse by Owen Wilson may have led to his suicide attempt earlier this week. |
| 6:40
| He was reportedly influenced to do heroin and cocaine by actor friend Steve Coogan. Wilson was warned by Coogan's then-girlfriend Courtney Love about Coogan's negative influence. It would be pretty hard to take any warnings from Courtney Love though. |
| 6:48
| Mark Czerniec is on the phone from Racine where it's getting cold and overcast. How's the tomato crop going? |
| 6:49
| It's not just a big mess of vines and tomatoes because of all the rain they got. All the cages Mark built for the tomatoes collapsed so he'll just be planting annuals next year. It's good to know he's planning ahead. |
| 6:50
| Mark wanted to let Steve know that they reran the Katrina special from two years ago. Her new season begins next week with a show from New York. |
| 6:51
| According to the promo for the season premiere Harpo Studios weren't big enough for the premiere. That's sort of a slap in the face to Chicago, there has to be a theater in this city big enough to house the premiere. |
| 6:52
| A Swedish newspaper defended a cartoon it ran with Muhammad's head on the body of a dog. Well at least they learned their lesson. |
| 6:53
| Lindsay Lohan has been caught taking drugs in rehab. A test administered by rehab employees came back positive. |
| 6:54
| Lindsay has been warned that if she can't stay clean she will be thrown out. What good will that do her? |
| 6:55
| Lindsay was also caught having sex in a toilet cubicle and is frequently late to group meetings. Steve needs to go to rehab! How great would it be if you're in rehab, nailing Lindsay Lohan and she has blow. Who'd want to leave? |
| 6:59
| Did Matt get that email Steve sent him? Someone was going out of their minds trying to correct Matt about the proper ingredients of a High Ball. |
| 7:00
| Matt took offense because the emailer referred to it as the "Mike and Brandon Show". Maybe they should say their names wrong. |
| 7:01
| Matt was making fun of Mike for ordering a Jack Daniels and ginger ale at the Bears game last weekend. However when Mike hosted a Comcast skybox for some guys from Jack Daniels they were all drinking that and suddenly it seemed cooler. |
| 7:02
| Turns out a High Ball is rye whiskey and ginger ale. Steve always thought a High Ball was whiskey and 7-Up but that's a 7 and 7. And what manly drink was Matt drinking? |
| 7:03
| Matt wanted to order a Jack and Coke, which doesn't seem very manly to Steve either. Where he's from that's what chicks used to drink. Then Matt ordered a Jack and soda which is completely different. Matt just wanted the Coke part. So why didn't he order a Coke? |
| 7:04
| Matt can't drink the whiskey straight, except for that Templeton Rye stuff. Matt should try it on the rocks then, that way the ice melts into it. That looks much more manly. |
| 7:05
| Brendan's drink of choice is beer but he also drinks a lot of vodka and 7-Up. OK Brendina. Vodka and 7-up, that's called a Low Ball. |
| 7:06
| Steve has one more commercial to read but he doesn't want to read it if David Hochberg isn't going to pay for it. Maybe David could call in. |
| 7:07
| Steve's doodled all over the copy anyway so he'll just read two tomorrow. Steve doodles the same thing everyday so that must be what the inside of his brain looks like. |
