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| 2:01
| Stan and Terry are really excited about seeing Steve tomorrow night. This is the first time they haven't had to drive somewhere for a show. |
| 2:02
| Stan and Terry never did drive to see Steve though. Terry's trying to take credit for making the trip to Libertyville but he never did. |
| 2:03
| Terry has no problem driving great distances for the DMV or a shoe sale though. Maybe we shouldn't let Terry in because he hasn't been to any of the other shows. |
| 2:04
| Terry's coming with his wife Lanell. Her name sort of sounds like a Southern name, like someone didn't know how to spell Lynette. But maybe it's just because Steve knows she's from downstate. Actually it's a very sophisticated name. |
| 2:05
| Terry's just coming for the free drinks anyway, let's be honest. Steve's glad they're coming though, they should enjoy the show. |
| 2:06
| Stan used to pride himself on knowing all the lyrics to Steve's songs. Steve still doesn't really know all the lyrics to his songs though. |
| 2:07
| If Terry's in the VIP area then there are free drinks. Steve assumes that's where they are. Terry was trying to push Bonnie out of the VIP area though. |
| 2:08
| Stan said that he didn't need to get into the VIP area though so Bonnie could have his place. Because the Back Porch Stage is a little smaller than the other venues there's not as much room for the VIPs. |
| 2:09
| If Steve could get a copy of the list he could probably cross some names off and get Stan and Terry and Bonnie in. It seems like they should all be able to get in. |
| 2:10
| Buzz will be jamming with the band tomorrow as usual. Sadly it's usually the highlight of the show. |
| 2:11
| Steve wouldn't mind going back to the days when Stan was his valet. Actually he was more in charge of wardrobe and props. He always made sure that the Karen Carpenter skeleton got to where it needed to go. Steve also had to be powdered and sometimes greased up for his Elvis costume. |
| 2:12
| Did Stan's job as prop manager lead to his love of cardboard cut-outs? Stan had a very gentle backstage presence. It was like Steve was a race horse and Stan was his stable goat, keeping him calm. |
| 2:13
| Hanson is actually playing the mainstage of the House of Blues tomorrow. Who would want to see them? They're actually on the cover of the Sun-Times weekend section today. |
| 2:14
| Steve still thinks he could take all three band members. |
| 2:19
| Steve was just looking at the Hanson article, they've got the House of Blues sold out. They also have new music so this isn't just on the strength of Mmmbop. |
| 2:20
| So it'll be sold out upstairs and downstairs. Steve feels he could sell out the upstairs but as we learned from Chef Hans yesterday the House of Blues gig was booked at the last second. |
| 2:21
| Before we get too much further into the broadcast Steve would like to say to Pete that he doesn't think Feist is hot. She looks like a witch and not the Stevie Nicks kind. |
| 2:22
| Pete has to stop Steve for a second because Jim Wagner is talking. What does that mean? It's the guy from CLTV, Pete's just turning the TV down. |
| 2:23
| It's just some report about how there's a 40% greater chance of divorce if someone has testicular or cervical cancer. What good does it do anyone if they know that? Will that stop them from getting cancer? |
| 2:24
| Plus you get the cancer and you also find out you have an almost 50% chance of getting divorced. That's too much bad news. |
| 2:25
| Hanson will also perform at the White Sox game this Sunday a for Fan Appreciation Day. Some fan appreciation that is. |
| 2:26
| Steve will not be there on Sunday, he'll be watching the Bears game. The Sox could have done a better job of showing their fans appreciation but instead they're probably going to finish 25 games out. |
| 2:27
| Steve's going to play a few samples of the new Hanson songs but he won't buy them. One of them has some African name. They must be trying to show they're cool by going to Africa. |
| 2:28
| Really it just means you ran out of ideas and have to go to Africa to steal some poor persons songs. Then you bring them over here and let a few of them be on SNL like Black Loafer Mumbazza or whatever their name was. |
| 2:29
| Some of these Hanson songs sound a little distorted. Maybe it's just iTunes. Steve's going to check out his own songs and see what they sound like. |
| 2:30
| Caller Bob wanted to let Steve know that Hanson song the National Anthem at a Nascar race in July in Joliet. Once they were announced everyone started booing. |
| 2:31
| Steve's not sure if he would have the energy to boo Hanson though. When you're at one of those races though you're usually drinking for the entire weekend. |
| 2:32
| Hanson was on the Eric & Kathy show today which has to be a feel-good. Steve just hopes they're not on his floor at the House of Blues hotel. |
| 2:33
| The good news for someone like Pete is that the House of Blues should be happy hunting grounds with all the Hanson fans. So there's the silver lining. |
| 2:36
| Live read: WCIU |
| 2:37
| Steve's favorite new thing is that he gets to read what the King of Queens is about on WCIU at 10:00 PM. |
| 2:38
| Steve does like that show and he likes being able to tell people what it's about tonight in an official capacity. |
| 2:39
| Song: Aloha Friday, Steve Dahl and the Dahlfins |
| 2:42
| Steve's working on rerecording some of his older songs and recording some new songs. |
| 2:43
| Steve said he'd put a CD out on The Nadas label but he's trying to figure out what the advantage of doing that would be. Steve can get the songs on iTunes himself. |
| 2:44
| Steve does like The Nadas though but he could probably just put it out himself. Plus he was thinking of recording at Jim Peterik's studio but The Nadas would probably just be hanging out on the driveway smoking. |
| 2:45
| Steve could see Jim being a pain about that since he wouldn't even let him park in his driveway the last time he was there. |
| 2:46
| Speaking of smoking, it's really disgusting walking around down here, amongst the buildings and the smokers. Steve was walking around down here before the show yesterday trying to get to the lakefront and they're everywhere. |
| 2:47
| Also for those of you that care, there's no blog up today at Dahl.com. Ed Silha was in Florida to see the Cubs clinch, but they got swept. Last night he missed his flight from MIami to Cincinnati because the game went late. |
| 2:48
| This morning Ed was going to fly from Miami to LaGuardia and then on to Cincy but the flight in Miami was delayed because the pilot opened a cockpit window and couldn't close it. Ed was supposed to be in the Admiral's Club at LaGuardia at 10:30 AM to post the blog but that didn't happen. |
| 2:49
| Ed is taking out his travel frustrations on Steve though. The first email started "I'm in hell!" Then Steve asked if there was a way he could post the blog himself and Ed told him that he wouldn't even understand it. Steve was just trying to help out. |
| 2:50
| Steve's going to keep rolling with the emails because he's got another one that's unbelievably mean. He didn't even think it was mean at first. Actually, Steve's going to take a break and then talk about it. |
| 2:56
| As it turns out, Ed just posted Steve's blog so maybe he'll let that do the talking. He also sent out the Thought for the Day so he must be in Cincy. |
| 2:57
| Ed's on this journey all by himself which is kind of sad. But on the other hand Steve enjoys being alone. It wouldn't kill him to go down to MIami to watch a baseball game on his own. |
| 2:58
| The main thing is that Ed wants to see the Cubs clinch it. Plus he might be involved in some sort of tour of Major League ballparks. Buzz feels better knowing his motivation. |
| 2:59
| So Steve's blog is about Ed's travels as well as what he's going to wear tonight. He had a striped Tommy Bahama shirt but he might just go with what he has on now. |
| 3:00
| Steve doesn't really like dressing up for things. It's a charity so he's always on the verge of breaking bad, like he did for the Harry Teinowitz child abuse thing. Steve's going to be improv'ed about by Second City while he's standing there so dressing up for that just further sets him up. |
| 3:01
| Steve got an email from Ed saying he posted the blog and the TFTD (Thought for the Day in Steve Dahl Show parlance) is on the way. |
| 3:02
| Someone asked the Gilda's Club guy what Steve should wear tonight. Lance wrote back that he should wear whatever he wears when he goes clubbing. Clubbing baby seals? Last year Eric Ferguson wore a leather jacket and hip blue jeans. |
| 3:03
| Steve should go with the shorts though right? Buzz noticed he had them on on TV yesterday. Did he tell Aimee how casual Steve was? |
| 3:04
| After thinking about it for a while Buzz decided that shorts were Steve's look and it worked for him. |
| 3:05
| Steve also mentioned the mean email in his blog today. It had a link to this guy's blog and he's really mean to Steve. Also the guy is in a wheelchair so it makes Steve feel like he's in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. |
| 3:06
| Steve's been getting a lot of mean emails lately and there have also been some angry blogging about him from the cycling community. They feel that they have just as much right to the road as cars do. Steve disagrees. When you buy gas for your car you pay a tax and that goes towards roads. |
| 3:07
| Steve's just going to read this guy's blog. He's in a wheelchair so you want to be sympathetic. The post is titled When Idols Die or Just Get Old. Steve was hoping it would be about Garry. |
| 3:08
| Being disabled, Mark Plocharczyk's career choices were limited. Growing up listening to Steve and Garry made him want to get into radio which he started out doing in high school. Eventually he gave up on his dream because he was unable to travel around the country paying his dues at various radio stations. |
| 3:09
| This guy seems bitter and he wants to take it out on Steve. He could have just stopped at a certain point but he kept going saying that eventually he realized that Steve was boring. What did Steve do?! |
| 3:10
| Mark says that everyday is the same thing with Steve, complaining about his wife or his kids or management or a hum that only he can hear. OK, Steve will give this guy the hum, even though he still hears it. |
| 3:11
| Mark decided that Steve, his idol, was a grump and not a funny one. Is he maybe confusing Steve with Buzz? |
| 3:12
| You don't really have to travel all over the country paying your dues at various radio stations. That's not a good enough reason to give up your dreams. |
| 3:13
| It seems really mean to send Steve an email linking him to this blog. Steve can take it though and he's certainly had way meaner things happen to him but this guy went out of his way. The guy being disabled makes it seem even meaner. And Steve was just thinking of adding a disabled correspondent to the show. |
| 3:14
| Steve gets it though, he'd be mad if he was in a wheelchair. As this guy pointed out Steve still gets mad and he's not even in a wheelchair. That's his act though! |
| 3:20
| Song: Brown Eyed Girl, Jimmy Buffett |
| 3:24
| It doesn't seem like Jimmy Buffett has all the lyrics right on that one. It's "standing in the sunlight laughing" not "standing in the sunlit light" right? Steve can see Jimmy not really checking the lyrics. |
| 3:25
| The infamous airport men's room where Senator Craig was arrested is getting new stall dividers that drop nearly to the floor. That's going to make Steve and Buzz's trip up there pointless! They were going up to take in the sites! |
| 3:26
| That bathroom was a popular place for cruising. How inviting does it have to be if you've decided to have sex in a bathroom? |
| 3:27
| Steve forgot all about the "presentation" portion of the bathroom exchange. He'll walk through the whole thing. FIrst one person taps. Then the other person taps as well. |
| 3:28
| After that the first person slides their foot over and ideally they'd like to see the other person's foot slide towards them. Then your shoes sort of have a mating dance like swans. |
| 3:29
| Steve doesn't remember the rest of it but Mark Czerniec had it at one point. Buzz finds it amazing that all of this could happen without you seeing the other person. |
| 3:30
| Mark Czerniec is on the phone and he has the whole thing memorized for reasons we don't know. We're not going to judge though. |
| 3:31
| There's a tap, then a return tap and then a hand ventures underneath. The shoes don't have to slide towards each other which saves wear and tear. |
| 3:32
| Steve thought he remembered some foot touching in the Larry Craig case. The next step is putting your hand under to receive the goods. Also you can show that you're married which heightens it. |
| 3:33
| Steve thought there was something else that Mark sent him something more complicated from Salon.com or something. |
| 3:34
| Steve's going to continue reading this article while Mark searches for the other one. |
| 3:35
| While Mark was searching his IM was flashing, Jim kid sent him a link to the Slate.com article. He also said there was no need to mention he sent it. |
| 3:36
| Why does Mark do that on his page? He always attributes stuff on his page. Buzz enjoys seeing who sent what. Now Steve has to wonder why Jim had that page so quickly. What else is bookmarked on his computer? |
| 3:37
| Mark likes to give credit where credit is due. If he gets something to Steve, Steve gives him credit. |
| 3:38
| Steve likes to do that because Mark is all the way up there in Racine. Mark actually called the cable company the other day because there was a cable blackout and CBS wasn't on. |
| 3:39
| Mark called the cable company and told them about the problem. The woman asked for Mark's name and number in case they were disconnected. When he gave it to her she said she knew why Mark needed the cable back on, because he had to get information for Steve. |
| 3:40
| Steve needs to take a break and then we'll be talking to someone from Comcast. Depending on who we're talking to we might have to pick this up on the other side. |
| 3:41
| If it's someone like Chuck Garfein he could probably roll with it. Usually when he calls in he wants to reminisce like it's a Wonder Years episode. He just wants to talk about high school. |
| 3:45
| Alright we're getting Chuck Garfein on the line. In the meantime Steve does have some info about how to get the ball rolling for sex in the men's room. |
| 3:46
| Does Chuck want to be involved in this? Steve doesn't want to get him in trouble but he and Buzz wanted to get this out there before the weekend started. |
| 3:47
| If Steve was talking to Gail Fischer he'd stop right now and then start it up later. The odds of that happening wouldn't be great though. If Chuck has anything to add he shouldn't hold back. |
| 3:48
| The foot tapping signal has been around for decades. The first person taps then the second person taps in a similar fashion. |
| 3:49
| After that the initiator begins moving his foot towards the other person. That's how Steve and Buzz like to do it but they're old school. The kids these days probably try to shortcut it, they're taking all the romance out of it. |
| 3:50
| The other person makes a similar move of his foot towards the initiator. That's the dance right there. The two people go through these signals several times to make sure there's not a mistake. |
| 3:51
| Then the initiator reaches his hand under the stall which is a signal to "present yourself". The other person can either kneel down and...ya know...or wave their hand which is a signal for "you first". That's how Steve would roll. |
| 3:52
| Some men often make it a point to show the other person that they are married, which just heightens it. That's like saying that you prefer the dude in the dirty men's room over your own wife. |
| 3:53
| Buzz can't believe Mark blew off the entire dance. He lives near a lot of truck stops and he might be damaged. He goes to get a pretzel and the next thing you know his parents have sent him away to have the baby. |
| 3:54
| Steve thinks he should take a break before the sports. It'll be best for everyone. When this tape is replayed in Jim Corno's office at least he'll see there's a commercial break in between topics. |
| 3:57
| Alright back to Chuck Garfein. He's in the epicenter of the sporting universe at U.S. Cellular Field. It's a big weekend coming up! |
| 3:58
| Steve ended up watching the White Sox last night. Lance Broadway ended up pitching a good game for a guy named Lance Broadway. |
| 3:59
| Why didn't they just leave him in? It's his first start, he had a shut-out going what's the harm in leaving him in? |
| 4:00
| Chuck is guessing that maybe they had a pitch count on him and he had reached it. Or maybe they just figured they'd take him out when he had a lead. |
| 4:01
| Chuck liked to see how pumped up and excited he was getting though. He's sort of like Carlos Zambrano although he wasn't that in-your-face. |
| 4:02
| So it's fan appreciation day on Sunday. If the Sox really appreciated their fans they would have won more games. |
| 4:03
| The Cubs are in Cincy tonight. They actually can clinch today if they win and the Brewers lose tonight. |
| 4:04
| The Brewers committed 5 errors last night, that is not a good team. The Padres are a good team too and Maddux is pitching. The Cubs should win tonight with Zambrano on the mound and the Reds missing Griffey and Dunn. |
| 4:05
| They Cubs should win 2 games but they could probably win 1 and be OK. They're up 2 games with 3 to play, they should be fine. |
| 4:06
| Steve has decided that Brian Griese looks like Gary Cole if he was made up to look like an elf in a Santa Claus movie. |
| 4:07
| Gary's a good actor, he and Steve and Buzz all broke in together at Steppenwolf. Actually only Gary did but Steve and Buzz owned records by the band Steppenwolf. |
| 4:08
| The Bears will probably be without Vasher and Tillman this weekend. Right now even Mike McCaskey is questionable for Sunday. |
| 4:09
| If Chuck were a betting man he'd steer clear of this game because he has no idea what's going to happen. |
| 4:10
| If Steve was Brian Griese he wouldn't want this game to be his coming out party with the defense decimated. In the past though they've really come out strong after a bad loss. |
| 4:11
| Live read: WCIU |
| 4:12
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 4:13
| President Bush addressed an international climate change conference and stressed that his administration takes global warming very seriously. As in they seriously don't believe it. Steve would like someone to just figure out the whole global warming thing though, just so he knows. |
| 4:14
| Protestors in Myanmar, formerly Burma, have switched to English and are using profanity. Is that because it looks better on TV? Protestors are now chanting "F you army, we want Democracy!" |
| 4:15
| Steve was involved in an eBay auction with a guy from Myanmar. He was trying to buy some Burma shave memorabilia but now he can't get through because their government shut down the internet. Steve is also addicted to Burmese porn and none of his favorite sites are coming up. Steve's favorite site is of course BurmaShave.com |
| 4:16
| OJ's book If I Did It (Which I Did) is now number 2 on the New York Times Bestseller list. |
| 4:17
| That armed robbery thing really put the book on the map and he's not getting any money from it. |
| 4:18
| A brain-eating amoeba has caused the death of at least 6 people this year with predictions of more to come. The amoeba lives in lakes and enters through the nose. It then settles in the brain. What country is this in? |
| 4:19
| Steve has a zebra mussel up his nose that he got this summer and he can't seem to shake it. |
| 4:20
| Steve has the full story, it's from the AP so it's real. |
| 4:24
| Caller Rick wanted to shed some more light on the brain-eating amoeba story. Sanjay Gupta had a more in-depth report on CNN this morning. More in-depth than Steve and Buzz's? |
| 4:25
| Gupta had reports of over 20 cases in the last 15 years but 6 recent cases this year. |
| 4:26
| Steve said pretty much everything Rick did though. He sort of had a know-it-all feel to him. |
| 4:27
| Buzz got an email the other day from a guy who wants to know why he and Steve don't spend more time talking about 9/11 conspiracies. |
| 4:28
| Steve's been ignoring that guy for 4 years. Even if there is a conspiracy what is he supposed to do about it? He's just trying to get to the next break and say something interesting. |
| 4:29
| Buzz doesn't know anything about 9/11 conspiracies, he's still trying to put the JFK assassination to bed. Steve's money is on the mob. They were getting him back for nailing Judith Exner and messing up Cuba. |
| 4:30
| Buzz really thought Judith Exner let herself go in her later years. What does he want, she was probably 90! |
| 4:31
| It's like with the global warming. Steve can't get in the middle of two sides arguing only for their own good. Him driving to and from work everyday can't be causing global warming but if it is he'll stop doing it. |
| 4:32
| All Buzz knows is that the polar bears are really hurting. Their ice is melting and it's getting too warm for them. |
| 4:33
| Steve doesn't really like to watch any documentaries that have something political behind them. Buzz just saw something about the bass player from the New York Dolls. Now that's something Steve would be interested in watching. |
| 4:34
| After the New York Dolls broke up the bass player had a really hard time with drugs. Somehow he pulled himself out and ended up joining the Mormon Church in LA. |
| 4:35
| 30 years later he gets the call for the New York Dolls reunion. So he starts practicing bass and gets back with the band and they do this great show in this huge venue in London. |
| 4:36
| Then the guy goes back to his life at the Mormon Church. 22 days later he dies of leukemia, which he didn't know he had until a week before he died. Buzz was on an emotional roller coaster. |
| 4:37
| Buzz was never really into the New York Dolls. There was some sort of feminine quality to all of them. But in London the band is sort of regarded as the punk version of the Rolling Stones. |
| 4:38
| Is it necessary for Steve to purchase Hot, Hot, Hot by Buster Poindexter? That's a good song to hear right? |
| 4:39
| Steve's going to download it while he reads a commercial. What a great age we live in. |
| 4:40
| Live read: Gierczyk Properties |
| 4:41
| Steve downloaded the song but now he can't find it. Is it called Hot, Hot, Hot or Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot. |
| 4:42
| Song: Hot, Hot, Hot, Buster Poindexter |
| 4:46
| Buster Poindexter, formerly David Johansen or Yohansen as Buzz said. He just saw the documentary so he'd know. |
| 4:47
| Buzz is actually going off the last name of his brother-in-law. The family name is Johnson but for some reason he decided to change his name to Johansen. It's not one of the twins though. |
| 4:48
| Steve never got through the entire article about the bathrooms at the Minneapolis airport because it wasn't that interesting. |
| 4:49
| If it's a cruising destination though it must be before you get through security. Speaking of bathroom sex, two intoxicated Badgers fans were banned from Camp Randall stadium in Madison for having sex in a woman's bathroom. |
| 4:50
| While the Badgers were getting lucky on the field two intoxicated fans were caught having sex in a woman's bathroom in the upper deck. |
| 4:51
| An officer tending to someone with heat exhaustion during the September 1st game was approached by a woman who said she heard two people "going at it pretty good" in the bathroom. |
| 4:52
| The officer asked a female concession worker to go into the bathroom and warn them to stop or else he would come in. It's very hard to get people to stop and when you ask them to it doesn't make things go any quicker. |
| 4:53
| The officer finally entered the bathroom and found the pair pulling their pants up. Then he asked them for their game tickets. You have to make sure they're supposed to be at the game. |
| 4:54
| Police officers couldn't recall a similar case at a Badgers sporting event. At least that has ever been reported. Usually people just let that stuff go but these two got caught by the one woman who says something. |
| 5:00
| On the phone is Jeff Joniak. It sure sounded like the Bears won that game based on Jeff's intro. That was all when things were going good. Then there were 24 unanswered points. |
| 5:01
| Something cute happened when Brendan called for Jeff. His daughter said Jeff was sleeping so they called back a little later. It wasn't on the air though, we don't just cold call people. |
| 5:02
| Obviously we know what happened with the quarterback situation. It's been quite a week at Halas Hall but it had to be done. Steve was there and he knows it had to be done. Even Rex seemed to know it. |
| 5:03
| It's not all Rex's fault but the rest of the team is going to play better when they're playing for something. Once again the time of possession factors in. A lot of the injuries on the defense could be traced back to too much time on the field. |
| 5:04
| Nathan Vasher will definitely not play on Sunday but everything else is in the air. |
| 5:05
| Detroit is going to pass the ball a lot on Sunday. Passing is pretty much all they do which goes against the grain of the NFL. So the Bears defense has to remember their assignments. |
| 5:06
| Steve has a question for Jeff and it's going to sound negative but it isn't. Since he didn't play football, how does he know so much about it? It sounded to Buzz like Steve was going to ridicule Jeff. |
| 5:07
| Jeff has dedicated 12 years of his life to studying football so it just took a lot of time. Every fall he wonders why he didn't at least try to play but then he remembers he didn't have the size for it. |
| 5:08
| Jeff tries to be as well-versed as possible without ever having played the game. Sometimes there are things he doesn't quite understand so he asks a question. It certainly helps for Jeff to be around a former offensive lineman. |
| 5:09
| Steve remembers that last year in Detroit Jeff wanted to go to dinner with a former WBBM-AM program director. |
| 5:10
| That was actually a few years ago. This trip is where the 20 minute dinner rule came from whenever Jeff and Tom travel. There was a bad storm and their cab driver had never driven in the snow. |
| 5:11
| It took them an hour to make what is normally a 20 minute trip and the whole time Tom is just looking at Jeff. Their former boss gave them a ride home and since she had just moved to Detroit she didn't know where she was going. |
| 5:12
| At one point Tom said "If we don't know where the blankety blank we're going let me out of this blanking cab". Jeff was sweating at that point, in sub-zero weather. When they get to the hotel Jeff tries to get to the elevator as fast as possible. Jeff is standing there, waiting for the doors to open when he feels a sharp pain from his kidneys to his brain. It was Tom who then told him to never lie to him again. |
| 5:13
| So now they don't get anywhere for dinner that is more than 20 minutes away. And Tom is very precise about it too. |
| 5:14
| Jeff's not sure where they'll go for dinner since he's not a big fan of Detroit. They're staying downtown so Steve can give him a good recommendation. |
| 5:15
| One of Steve's favorite steakhouses is in downtown Detroit, Carl's Chophouse. The only caveat is that he hasn't been there in a while but it's old school and he still hears about it. |
| 5:16
| Or they could go to Lafayette Coney Island for a Detroit chili dog. If Jeff takes Tom to those two places he won't hear another peep out of him. |
| 5:17
| Jeff is not sure that'll work because of a no-hot dog rule Tom instituted a few years ago during the season. Tom might feel that health is an issue for everyone else. He doesn't like tomatoes though. |
| 5:18
| Jeff should probably sent Little Z on a fly-by at Carl's Chophouse just to make sure it's OK. |
| 5:19
| Hopefully Steve didn't give Jeff any bad tips. He doesn't want him to get kidney punched again. Steve's pretty confident that if Carl's is up and running Tom will like it. And even if there is a hot dog ban in effect they can get around it. |
| 5:20
| It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve's having the Burrito Supreme today, extra meat, no beans, no sour cream. |
| 5:25
| Caller Mark wanted to let Steve know that Carl's Chophouse is still good. The area is not as bad as it used to be because of the casinos. |
| 5:26
| All Steve remembers about that area is that one of the Supremes used to live in the projects. |
| 5:27
| Alright time for some sports. The Cubs are at Cincinnati with Carlos Zambrano on the mound. The Cubs magic number is down to 2 with 3 games left to play. |
| 5:28
| Milwaukee continues there series against San Diego. Greg Maddux takes the hill for the Padres against Chris Capuano. It would be kind of cool if Maddux beat the Brewers and put it away for the Cubs. |
| 5:29
| Devin Hester hopes to revert to his all-Pro form against the Lions this Sunday. Maybe he should do a little less of the cheerleading. |
| 5:36
| Bill Murray said the Cubs have won 5 World Series. Is that right? Buzz thinks they must have won those when there were only 2 teams in the league. |
| 5:37
| Pete's pretty sure he's correct. The last 2 were in 1907 and 1908. So they were hot 100 years ago. How are Pete and Jim kid holding up? Pete felt better after the Brewers won but he's still nervous. Steve calls down to the newsrooms. |
| 5:38
| Buzz just wanted to make sure that it's still possible for the Cubs to blow it. Buzz needs to stop. All these people do is help him all day long and he wants to break their little hearts. |
| 5:39
| Buzz doesn't want them to lose but if they did it would be spectacular. Buzz is mean-spirited. He feels a loss would cement their reputation for the next 100 years. Pete hopes the playoffs are during the week so Buzz can't get home. |
| 5:40
| Even if Buzz were a Cubs fan it seems like he could appreciate a good disaster. Steve's sure there are some Cubs fans who see it that way but Pete and Jim aren't like that. |
| 5:41
| Jim would be despondent if the Cubs blew it, he doesn't like being a lovable loser. It's way better to be a loser than a lovable loser. Phillies fans aren't lovable losers, they're angry. |
| 5:42
| The Cubs are two games up with 3 games to play and Zambrano and Lilly have been very reliable. There will also be a lot of Cubs fans in Cincy this weekend. The Sox clinched a little earlier but it was still fun to go down to the wire. |
| 5:43
| Steve was checking out the Padres/Brewers game, it's exciting. Steve would have watched it on DirectTV but Grey's and Office were taping on there. Steve probably would have paid the price if he would have canceled the Grey's recording. |
| 5:44
| Steve didn't want to order the MLB package on Comcast though. He's good with his NFL package on DirectTV anyway. A few weeks ago Pete remembers Jeff Joniak saying the NFL network was no longer on Comcast. It still is but it's a premium. Steve can't see the Joniaks springing for the premium channels. Mrs. J probably didn't want any more football. |
| 5:45
| The Big Ten Network is not on Comcast though but it is on DirectTV. There's enough sports everywhere so it's not a big deal. |
| 5:46
| Steve is sort of following Illinois though and he did amuse himself with Notre Dame last weekend. Pete can't watch Charlie Weiss in those ill-fitting pants. He needs to make some better clothing choices. |
| 5:47
| He needs to stop tucking the shirt in and highlighting the dunlop. It looks like he's got two loaves of bread down there. |
| 5:48
| Buzz points out that Notre Dame could be making history this season if they keep losing. He is really mean. He should do some sort of mean sports report. Buzz Kilman's Really Mean Sports Machine. |
| 5:49
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 5:50
| Buzz seems very concerned about the people in his live read, complete strangers, but he is hoping the Cubs don't make the playoffs. |
| 5:51
| Song: Buffalo River Road, John Hiatt |
| 5:56
| Caller Ellen has been listening to Steve forever but she imagines he gets tired of hearing that. Who told her that? Steve never gets tired of hearing that. |
| 5:57
| Ellen has a correction for Steve from the Townstone live read. The person's name, Nehimiah, is Biblical. |
| 5:58
| Ellen was spanked 22 teams by Steve on her birthday many years ago. How does that factor into the Christianity? Did she get into that after the spanking? |
| 5:59
| David Hochberg is on the phone. He's getting pumped up for the Park West party. That makes one of us. |
| 6:00
| David was calling to confirm that Ellen was right on the pronunciation of the person in the live read. |
| 6:01
| The names aren't changed to protect the innocent? |
| 6:08
| News with Buzz |
| 6:09
| President Bush has set a new goal to lower greenhouse gas emissions. So that's good news. |
| 6:10
| A Nevada man may face jail time after he gave authorities a video of a minor girl being sexually assaulted. |
| 6:11
| The man claimed he found the video in the desert. Possession of the tape could carry life in prison. |
| 6:12
| Another man is a person of interest in the case but the man who discovered the tape didn't turn it in for 6 months. |
| 6:13
| Armed men stormed a Mexican hospital and freed a man undergoing surgery. |
| 6:15
| Actor Tom Cruise is reportedly building a bunker in his Colorado home to protect his family from an intergalactic war. |
| 6:16
| Cruise fears that the deposed ruler Xenu is plotting to take over the Earth. That's very deep background Scientology though. |
| 6:17
| Steve thought that Scientology was that it's not your parents fault who you ar and you can do your own thing. He didn't know it was all about space and aliens. |
| 6:19
| Authorities have confirmed that a body discovered yesterday is that of missing woman Nailah Franklin. |
| 6:20
| A woman woozy from giving blood fainted and fell of an EL platform onto the tracks. However the woman was alright and only sustained minor injuries. |
| 6:21
| Didn't she get a cookie and some orange juice? If she had been hurt she could have got some of her own blood though. |
| 6:28
| According to L. Ron Hubbard, Xenu was the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy. 75 million years ago he brought billions of people to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft. |
| 6:29
| Xenu stacked people around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs. Wow! Scientology holds that their essences remain and cause people in modern times spiritual harm. |
| 6:30
| People believe this? Successful people too! Steve might laugh at it now but wait until Xenu gets here. |
| 6:31
| The Church avoids making public statements about Xenu which is probably a good idea. Buzz isn't helping with his news stories though. He's actually secretly recruiting. |
| 6:32
| Don't forget Steve and Garry Meier are at the Park West tonight for the Night of a Thousand Noogies. Tickets are still available. |
| 6:33
| The event goes from 7-11. The Hungry Hound will be there at some point but has to leave at 9:30. He'll be on stage with Amanda Puck. |
| 6:34
| Steve would imagine that he and Garry go on last but he's not sure. You also might be able to roll up at the Park West and get tickets but who knows. |
| 6:35
| Buzz isn't sure why but he's fascinated by the Hungry Hound. He has to leave at 9:30 to get on TV so if Buzz wants to get there for a photo he should make it by 8:00. |
| 6:36
| There's guy on hold who said that L. Ron Hubbard came up with Scientology while drunk. Steve doesn't want to get involved in it but he would say drunk at minimum. |
| 6:41
| Pat Dahl used to live across the street from a Scientology center in LA. One night he and a friend were drunk and went over there. |
| 6:42
| They got through 3 people but there's quite an extensive screening process before they reveal to you all the secrets of the Galactic Confederacy. |
| 6:43
| Steve is just lucky that Pat Dahl got out of there and he didn't have to send in a van with some dudes in white coats. |
| 6:44
| Alright it's time for Pizza Tragedies. Steve hasn't done it in a while but he'd like to do it more regularly. In addition to the theme song Steve has added a new element, a singing, talking Elmo doll making a pizza. |
| 6:45
| Not only does Elmo sing but the pizza sings also. It's almost psychedelic. So they have a theme song and then Elmo is the mascot, at least until the Sesame Street people find out and haul them into court. |
| 6:46
| The first email is from a driver who used to deliver for a suburban pizza place in the suburbs. Most of your suburban pizza places are in the suburbs. |
| 6:47
| Back in his day they used a metal box that was heated with a sterno. You can probably see where this is going. A driver came back and get a load of pizzas. You don't like to think of your pizza as part of a load. |
| 6:48
| The sterno had spilled in the box and soon the driver's car was engulfed in flames and he was unable to make any deliveries. |
| 6:49
| The next emailer is the owner of a small pizzeria. Now we're getting tragedies from the other side of the counter. |
| 6:50
| Buzz is pointing at the TV behind Steve because Demme is on CNN. Steve doesn't have his TV on that channel. Maybe he's just spouting his political ideology. |
| 6:51
| The owner has a number of tragedies but one of the best involves a delivery driver. Steve still wouldn't mind being a delivery driver and he'd be a good one. He has a GPS so he won't get lost. Buzz thinks it would be a recipe for disaster because Steve would be racing other drivers. |
| 6:52
| Steve would just be satisfied to get someone a piping hot pizza in time. And if there's a lonely MILF out there so be it. |
| 6:53
| One pizza order came in and the owner didn't think nothing of it. 10 minutes after the driver left he called in to say he couldn't deliver the pizza because there were a ton of cops outside the guy's house. |
| 6:54
| The police officers then used the driver to get into the house. Buzz feels like he's seen that a lot in movies. Steve would work along with law enforcement but he'd want a bullet proof vest. |
| 6:55
| The guy didn't come to the door and the police weren't interested in buying it so he was stuck with the pizza. |
| 6:56
| Is this hard for Pete since he's currently not eating pizza? Maybe he should have one this weekend. He might need one for this Bears game but then again he doesn't want to feel any worse. |
| 6:57
| Steve has Ranger Rick here, he could ask him about the whole pizza delivery driver. Rick is retired now even though he's younger than Steve and Buzz. |
| 6:58
| If there's an offender in the house and the cops want to lure him out does he actually have to come outside? It's much easier to have the guy outside when you apprehend him. You don't want to go into his house. |
| 6:59
| The final tragedy comes from a couple vacationing in Key West. The pizza they got was cold so they heated it up in the oven and sat on their bed eating it. |
| 7:00
| The wife accidentally dropped a piece of cheese on her leg and she wiped it off along with her skin. Why is this interesting? Because they were watching Silence of the Lambs which ties in with everything. |
| 7:01
| Steve can smell the hot oil which means it's Fry Daddy Friday. Matt's not sure what kind of oil he uses but he doesn't change it. He might want to think of doing that because if you use old oil everything tastes the same. |
| 7:02
| If you don't change the oil then you lose the sublteties of what you're cooking. Maybe that's why Brendan doesn't like anything Matt makes. Then Matt freaks out when he doesn't like it. They're like The Odd Couple. |
