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		Tuesday, October 23, 2007



2:02	Can Bonnie hear Steve? Because he's talking right now. Steve doesn't want to hear about Terry getting his feet massages, that's gross.
2:03	Steve gets a massage every week, you don't hear him coming in with all these details. Buzz's wife is a massage therapist, he doesn't say anything either.
2:04	Nobody wants to think about Terry naked up on the massage table. Terry probably shouldn't talk about being up on the table with his butt in the air for the deep glute massage.
2:05	Where is Terry getting a massage? That sounds like a prison massage. They might have to do that on Terry's fat ass because they can't get at the muscle.
2:06	Steve has never heard of anyone getting a massage like that, even at the happy ending places. They just ask you to roll over.
2:07	Terry gets massaged at a place on Halsted and Diversey. It sounds like he's part of a some sort of hidden webcam. That's Boystown isn't it?
2:08	During one Pride Weekend Buzz came out of his building and there was a huge rainbow American flag hanging out of a window.
2:09	Buzz furiously objected because he didn't know what it meant and it also seemed like flag desecration. If you want to wave a flag, get a flag poll.
2:10	Buzz sounds like a crotchety old man. Just so he knows the only person who agrees with him is Stan.
2:11	There's a house in Steve's neighborhood that hangs their flag improperly and he always wants to go fix it. The field is in the wrong direction, it's supposed to be North or South.
2:12	Actually the blue part has to be facing North or East, depending on how you're hanging the flag. Steve's just glad the neighbor of that family can't see the flag. He was in the Seabees and he has a sweet Seabee flag, but he can't see it because he never leaves the garage.
2:13	Steve doesn't really want to take flag phone calls right now. No matter what caller Chris thinks, the starts don't have to be on the left, Steve looked it up.
2:14	Who did Buzz call to get rid of that rainbow flag? He truthfully didn't know what the rainbow flag meant, he thought some Deadhead had moved into the building.
2:15	You normally have to wait for the condo board meetings but Buzz doesn't go to those. He's the worst kind of crank, the one who doesn't actually go and argue his point.
2:16	Instead Buzz wrote a letter which got wide distribution in the building. One of his neighbors who's a Social Studies teacher actually took the letter into his class as an example of dissension.
2:17	Buzz is normally not in town for Pride Weekend so this has probably been going on for years. He's fine with any flag someone wants to hang if there's a flag pole.
2:18	Maybe Buzz should nominate himself as the head of the flag pole committee. He wouldn't mind running the flag up and down the pole everyday. Plus he could have different flags for different occasions. He'd probably have to go U.S. flag, then Chicago, then decorative. Actually he'd probably have to put the Illinois flag below the U.S. flag.
2:24	Steve applauds Buzz's citizenship as he fired off angry letters as "the coot in 416" Buzz knew better than to make the mistake that most indignant people make. He kept the letter down to three paragraphs.
2:25	Most times the people who get really indignant end up writing 4 page letters. You can look at that and immediately dismiss it.
2:26	It's hard to deal with those condo association meetings. For a lot of the people in New Buffalo this is their second home, so they're not used to be part of a community.
2:27	Buzz would have never thought he'd be close to a conversational relationship with a neighbor. He knows people! He does have a daughter and a wife so he has to be part of the community. He's not running 18-year old girls up to his place any more.
2:28	That guy who called earlier about the flag might have been correct but Steve misspoke. If you're hanging a flag off a building the blue has to be on the left side.
2:29	Steve's grandfather once went nuts on him for hanging a flag improperly on his ceiling.
2:30	What Steve was referring to is if you hang a flag vertically, as some of the flags in his neighborhood are hung.
2:31	Steve doesn't really care but he sort of does. Every Fourth of July they hang out miniature flags for everyone to stick in their front lawn.
2:32	But after a few weeks the flags are on the ground so Steve has to go around sticking them back in the ground.
2:33	Steve respects the flag enough that he demands it be treated properly but he doesn't have the guts to confront anyone about it.
2:34	That's all Steve knows about flags for right now, that's probably enough. That guy who called in was probably right though so if he calls back Brendan can give him something.
2:35	Actually no, don't give him anything. That whole thing needs to stop, we're giving out too much stuff. It's like when people call in to talk to Tom Thayer, it's awkward because it seems like they expect something.
2:36	Steve doesn't want to create a welfare system with listeners here. It seems like it's up to Brendan to screen these people out.
2:37	Brendan might just get ear-weary from taking so many calls. If you've ever heard him screen calls you know how many he takes and how the people who end up on the air look like geniuses. A lot of people change their stories once they get on the air too.
2:38	The prize wheel is a great way to end a conversation so maybe Steve should just things as they are. Occasionally he'll decide not to give someone a spin of the wheel, maybe he should do that more.
2:39	This is a popularity contest though. Steve's buying people off $100 at a time.
2:42	Steve found two songs in his collection about flags. First there's Ashes of American Flags by Wilco and Groovin' is Easy by The Electric Flag but that's not really about a flag.
2:43	Then it occurred to Steve that maybe the Wilco song had a profanity in it so he checked the lyrics. It does have a profanity, a major one, right in the first verse, so he can't play that one.
2:44	Song: Groovin' is Easy, The Electric Flag
2:49	Buzz doesn't watch Friday Night Lights so Steve will have to bring Jim and Pete in on his conversation. Steve has seen the first episode of the season and most of the second episode.
2:50	Jim is still watching Friday Night Lights, as is Pete. In the first episode, that Landry kid killed someone. Steve doesn't need that on his Friday Night Lights! Pete and Jim were also not happy with that plot development.
2:51	A murder is too much angst for Steve. The big drama on the show should be if the team is going to win or lose. Pete was more angry that they dumped the body.
2:52	Sure Landry did get Tyra after the murder but it's just too much. He murdered somebody, it wasn't self-defense. It makes it a different show. It's a totally unnecessary subplot. Plus now Tyra is an accessory to murder.
2:53	If Tyra and the cheerleader go then Steve is out. She was in a bra in the third episode but she also found Jesus. Steve thinks Riggins will get her again.
2:54	Steve can't handle a murder though. It's bad enough Kyle Chandler isn't coaching the team any more. Someone at NBC must have told them they needed a murder to make the show more hardcore.
2:55	Friday Night Lights needs to be about football, partying and sex. This week Jason Street was looking for some sort of miracle cure for his paralysis. That's OK with Steve since it's part of football. The murder isn't though.
2:56	Why couldn't Landry just come out and hit the guy then call the police? Steve understands that Tyra is hot but he shouldn't have beat the guy twice with a log, killing him.
2:57	Steve is still watching Journeyman though. Jim didn't see last night's episode because he was at the Drive-By Truckers show. Steve didn't go because he figured there wouldn't be anywhere to sit and he knew they tend to play longer shows.
2:58	Steve is not caught up on Heroes but he did see Curb from Sunday. That might be the best episode ever.
3:03	Live read: The Little Guys
3:04	How's Buzz's surround sound doing? Buzz can't believe he waited this long. If you went back to the tape you'd probably hear Steve telling Buzz not to wait. It's at least half of the experience.
3:05	Did Buzz happen to see Marie Osmond fainting on Dancing with the Stars? He saw it on YouTube which is also where Steve saw it. It's important to get that fact out there too.
3:06	Steve thought it was kind of hot that she fainted and then got right back up again. Steve doesn't know anything about the show and he doesn't watch it although there is one really cute, blond dancer.
3:07	Sometimes Steve gets tricked into watching it when that girl's not on the show. He also doesn't like Tom Bergeron. In general he doesn't like utility TV guys like him, Pat Sajak and Ryan Seacrest.
3:08	Those guys always have more than one job which seems unfair because they're taking up all the jobs and they have no talent. Their only talent is being able to fit in anywhere and be lame.
3:09	Brendan is getting a lot of bad information from the callers today. One woman finally hung up but she was going to tell her that Riggins got with Laila on Friday Night Lights last season. Steve knows that, that's why he said "Riggins is gonna get her again" Sometimes the clues are in Steve's words.
3:10	Also the blond girl Steve is thinking of is not Jenny Garth. Don't you think he'd know what she looks like? It's like people are just calling in with anything that comes to mind in hopes of getting a spin of the wheel.
3:11	Julianne Hough is the dancer Steve is talking about, she's paired up with Helio Castronevas. He's gotta be having the time of his life.
3:12	The show is not worth watching just for her. Steve is quite taken by one of the judges. He has a French-accent and he seems gay. Is that wrong?
3:13	Good news, Julianne Hough is 19 so she's legal. She looks older though. Steve's not sure how long she's been on the show but he's pretty sure she wasn't legal when she started.
3:14	She might have been 17 when she started but that's a grey area. Sometimes it's legal, sometimes it isn't.
3:15	It was weird when she fainted because they didn't go to break until Tom Bergeron went over to make sure she was out cold and then said "go to break". It was a real power trip.
3:16	Steve accidentally watched several clips of Marie Osmond from Dancing with the Stars. In one Donny Osmond was there but Steve's not sure if he was there when Marie fainted.
3:17	They also showed Marie Osmond in Branson at their family's theater, introducing her Dancing with the Stars partner to the audience.
3:17	Now it seems like people are afraid to call, and rightfully so. If Steve doesn't know anything then you should call in. Don't call in to tell him Riggins got with Laila last season.
3:18	Live read: WCIU
3:19	Caller Jeannie didn't see Donnie Osmond on Dancing with the Stars last night. Steve accidentally watched one of the clips with him in it first.
3:20	Jeannie also saw the clip of Marie and her partner, that was actually at a theater at Governor's State University.
3:21	It really looked like Branson to Steve but everything associated with the Osmond's looks like Branson. They are Branson.
3:22	Jeannie says the Osmond Brothers actually play in Branson but Donnie is on his own tour. That makes sense to Steve. If you're in Branson you've already ratcheted down your expectations so you're willing to see the Osmond Brothers without Donnie.
3:23	When Steve took an audio engineering class at BYU he always saw the Osmond brothers working chicks at the local teen club. They got the girl every time but it didn't really matter since the Mormon chicks didn't put out.
3:24	The Osmonds had a concert at Drury Lane one year and there was a panic that ensued when they fired up the fog machine. The audience thought the building was on fire so they all ran for the exits, trampling people.
3:25	Steve and Garry used to make fun of it all the time and this woman used to call in, saying she was part of the Gronkowski Raiders and that she was going to shut them down.
3:26	Steve's not sure if he has access to the original voicemails, which he and Garry played on the air, but he does have a pretty dead-on parody of it.
3:32	The woman actually called the show if they took unscreened phone calls and would play a tape of her message. They didn't have voicemail back then.
3:33	Steve's not sure why he has the parody but not the original calls. Buzz thought it was the original call and he thought the woman was a comedic genius.
3:34	Pete has an original Randkowski Raiders message but he's not quite ready to play it. Why doesn't he say he's not ready yet? We don't need the foreplay.
3:35	The parody is much funnier than the original. This was back in 1983, Buzz wonders if she's still going at it.
3:36	If it was Steve he would have given up already since it's 2007. Maybe this will renew her interest.
3:37	It had to be said for her on the day she realized that she hadn't got Steve off the air after all her hard work.
3:44	On the phone is Mark Schanowski from Comcast Sportsnet. The big news around the station is the potential deal to air Hawks home games.
3:45	It was a long-standing policy to not air home games on TV but it looks like that's all changing. It seems like good timing too because the Hawks seem to have a pretty good team.
3:46	The World Series starts tomorrow in Boston. Everyone is picking the Red Sox to win even though the Rockies have won 20 of their last 21 games. The Rockies have also had 8 days off which could cool a team off. That and the snow.
3:47	Steve was disappointed that the Bears made Griese change his story about that last drive in the game on Sunday.
3:48	Now Griese is saying that he didn't call all the plays and that he was reading Pep Hamilton's lips when the clock stopped.
3:49	It's just really lame that the Bears made him do that. They're stretching believability a bit.
3:50	Even if he just thinks he called the plays, then let him think that. No wonder we've never had a good QB here.
3:51	Usually Halas Hall is pretty empty on a Monday afternoon after a win so it as a pretty big deal for Griese to go out there and talk to the press.
3:52	It was really weak that the Bears made Griese do that but he did handle it perfectly.
3:53	Steve is really looking forward to the game on Sunday now. It's tough to know what they'll get with the Lions, they've been good and bad so far.
3:54	The Lions are not a good road team either but Roy Williams will come in talking a lot of junk.
4:01	You can tell Brian Griese knows what he's saying is a load. Mark Schanowski is right though, Griese doesn't care what they're making him say.
4:02	Griese's starting, he's making money, he doesn't care. He knows what really happens and the guys know what really happened.
4:03	If the Bears want to save Ron Turner's bacon again that's fine. Can Steve just say Turner is an idiot?
4:04	Buzz imagines that it's a relief to not have anyone talking to you in that headset, especially in a situation like that. He'd love to hear what is being said in that headset.
4:05	For a time Mike Dahl worked for the Bears on the sidelines, managing all the headsets. He said it was pretty cool.
4:06	Headlines with Buzz
4:07	The shuttle Discovery is hurtling through space on it's way to dock at the ISS. It took off from Florida this morning.
4:08	California Pete Stark has finally apologized for accusing President Bush of sending kids off to war to have their heads blown off for his amusement. No one was backing Stark on that one. No one.
4:09	The voice on the new Osama bin Laden tape is in fact Osama bin Laden. Shocking. Meanwhile President Bush is warning us about the emerging threat of Iran.
4:10	The Preppie Killer is back behind bars, he was arrested for selling cocaine to undercover police officers.
4:11	Robert Goulet needs a new lung or else he'll die. Buzz, can you spare a lung? Buzz needs both of his lungs, although he is a Robert Goulet fan.
4:12	Garrison Keilor has taken out a restraining order against a woman he says is stalking him.
4:13	Oprah has made two emergency trips to her school in South Africa this month. That's not a short drive either.
4:20	That's a drop of Elvis shooting the TV with Robert Goulet on it, from Elvis Meets Nixon. Buzz hasn't seen that movie but he really should.
4:21	We've been running commercials for this new Eagles album that's coming out soon. The only way Steve knows how to get the new single is from their MySpace page but he's having trouble getting to the beginning of it.
4:22	Song: How Long, Eagles
4:25	That's from Eagles' forthcoming album. Steve hasn't talked to Joe in a while, he usually just calls in when he wants to.
4:26	Steve saw that Eagles are playing a bunch of shows at the Nokia Theater in LA but there are no dates scheduled in Chicago.
4:27	Steve has a review of one of the shows. Apparently it was a good show and there's a picture of Joe and he's rocking.
4:28	Steve saw Eagles with Matt at the Allstate a few years ago and Joe stole the show. Everyone in the band is good but Joe rocks.
4:29	Live read: Balance for Life
4:35	It seems like all the Cubs color announcers are Joe Walsh. We've got that tape of Steve Stone talking about seeing him in college and then Bob Brenly saying he met him once.
4:36	Caller Bob thought the Eagles commercial said the new album is available at Wal-Mart on October 30th.
4:37	Steve doesn't normally go into Wal-Mart because he doesn't like being greeted by an old man in a vest. What if Buzz lost the vest, and the button, would that help?
4:38	Steve's going to open the mailbag. There's no reason he can't include the music in the podcast since he owns it. All the podcast people hear is Steve humming along to the music.
4:39	The first email is from a guy who sent Steve a critique of the show which he ignored. All of the critiques were about stuff he couldn't change, like him or Buzz. Maybe he just wasn't meant to listen to the show.
4:40	However if you send an email to Steve's email address you're automatically subscribed to the Thought for the Day email.
4:41	So Steve got this response which was piggybacked on a Thought for the Day from last week. This guy might have been telling Steve that he's not funny unless he's drinking.
4:42	There's another email pleading with Steve, in giant capital letters, to take them off the mailing list. If he doesn't, the emailer and everyone she knows will stop listening.
4:43	Steve doesn't see any more fresh hate for a third letter but he could try to go back a few weeks in the mailbag.
4:44	Steve might have a wheelchair mean email here. He was asking if Steve knew how to speak Spanish which he doesn't think will be a problem. He does know how to speak Spanish though.
4:45	The final emailer is wondering if anyone has talked about how Ed Hochuli took a minute off the clock during Sunday's game. If that's true it seems like it could be a big deal.
4:46	Steve wishes he had some more fresh hate for Buzz, other than the wheelchair mean guy, but he doesn't. That one was very fresh though, it was steaming.
4:47	Steve should have saved that first emailers original critique. At some point though when things are so mean it bugs Steve to even have them in his mailbox.
4:54	It's creepy enough that Ed Hochuli has those guns but then everyone talks about it.
4:55	Caller Tom wanted to let Steve know that they talked about the clock thing on The Score yesterday.
4:56	Steve puts Tom on hold. Did Brendan really think that guy, who could barely speak English and was on a bad cellphone, was the best spokesperson for this topic?
4:57	Even without the bad cellphone he wasn't the best person. There goes Steve scaring off callers again. Does Brendan have his number? Call him back.
4:58	Steve has the information from the Philadelphia Inquirer. They said it was the right thing to do.
4:59	Steve thought it was understood that Brendan tells people not to say that they heard something on The Score.
5:00	Steve has to say that Brendan's call screening is a little lackluster today. In general he seems lackluster. He's coming off a big weekend and that usually catches up with them on Tuesdays.
5:01	It was such a big weekend that Brendan was wondering around Champaign-Urbana on Saturday night looking for a Greyhound bus so he could go home It was his idea to go down there and he just left Matt so Steve has to come down on Matt's side.
5:02	Matt drove down there but they didn't have a place to stay so Brendan was looking for his friend's house. When he couldn't find that he got on the Greyhound.
5:03	It's time for the Five O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve and Buzz will both be enjoying an original hard shell taco with mild sauce.
5:04	Alright back to the Bears/Eagles game. it took Ed Hochuli an entire offensive series to realize that the clock had be reset with an extra minute after the Olin Kreutz errant snap.
5:05	Today Steve got an email from iTunes asking him if he wanted to pre-order some new albums. He always pre-orders and then forgets he pre-ordered and bought it again.
5:06	Today Steve pre-ordered the new Killers album and got the first single from it, Tranquilize.
5:07	Song: Tranquilize, The Killers
5:10	In fairness to Brendan he is getting a lot of calls from people asking if we're changing formats. If Steve had something to say he'd say it. It seems like a lot of people are calling just to revel in it anyway. One guy called to ask how much Steve weighed.
5:11	Also that last guy called back and he was MFing everything saying he didn't need a $100 gift certificate.
5:12	But if you're calling Brendan about a format change do you really think he knows anything? Steve knows what he knows and he doesn't know anything about that. He doesn't need to know, he's just answering phones and then he's got his own show to do.
5:13	Plus, we're running a business here. We can't just tell people whatever they want to know. It's not relevant today if we're changing formats. Right now we're doing a show and it's in English too.
5:14	Alright time for some sports. WIth two sacks early in the 4th quarter on Sunday Tommie Harris set a career high with 6 for the season. Harris may have given the Lions some bulletin board material saying the Lions don't come into Chicago and beat the Bears. That's not that bad. What else is he supposed to say?
5:15	Ben Gordon will be serving donuts and coffee to customers at the Dunkin' Donuts in Deerfield. Remember a few weeks ago when there was all that stuff on ABC about Joakim Noah not bringing the right donuts for the team? Dunkin' Donuts is a huge sponsor of the team but they were all saying they don't eat Dunkin' Donuts and wanted Krispy Kreme.
5:16	The White Sox have hired Jeff Cox as their third basemen and Juan Nieves (or Johnny Snow) has moved from pitching coach to bullpen coach. He's not the Sox pitching coach though, Don Cooper is.
5:17	Due to wildfires the San Diego Chargers moved their practice to Arizona. They are supposed to host Houston this week.
5:18	Frontier Airlines is in talks with DirecTV to air World Series games live on their flights.
5:19	Not that Buzz cares about the Hurricanes any more but the injury to Kyle Wright is worse than previously thought. The Hurricanes aren't totally dead to Buzz since they just beat FSU.
5:23	Steve's going to make a phone call and get something straightened out. He's not going to tell Buzz who he's calling, that takes all the fun out of it.
5:24	Steve was trying to call Tina up in the office but she's not there. She told Mary that that Killers song is not from a new album. Tina's a music snob but she's an ill-informed music snob. Say what you will about Pete and Jim, they take their snobbery very seriously. Jim is concurring with Tina so maybe she's right. They keep saying it's a b-side but there's no such thing as that any more.
5:25	Steve calls down to the newsroom. Whenever Steve calls Jim he hangs up before he can turn off the phone and it makes a noise.
5:26	The new Killers CD is being called b-sides but there are no b-sides. It's new stuff like that song Steve played. Some bands still release singles and sometimes those feature remixes or other songs. They're usually just CDs with two tracks on them that you pay $10 for. That's not a single, that's a rip-off.
5:27	There are new Killers songs on Sawdust but Steve doesn't have it yet. There are a few covers and remixes as well. DId Pete or Jim call Tina and tell her to straighten Steve out? Pete probably doesn't even care about The Killers because they're too popular.
5:28	What does Pete have planned for Thursday, a couple thousand songs? He was grabbing a bunch but then remember what happened last week so he has one song on one CD. That'll be exciting to see, it'll be a two minute segment with him.
5:29	What will Steve do for the next hour and a half when he normally analyzes psychotic life? Pete likes to stir his yogurt and then right before he sticks the rag in the girl's mouth he dips it in the yogurt.
5:30	A Mundelein gas station employee has been arrested after videotaping at least one woman in the gas station's bathroom.
5:31	A woman using the bathroom found the camera in the garbage can after noticing a red light. You really need to put tape over that red light.
5:32	The woman then grabbed the camera, put it under her coat and brought it to the police station. She was the only person on the tape.
5:33	If he was busted on his first time that's pretty disappointing. He won't even be able to enjoy the tape until his trial.
5:34	The employee was fired from the gas station on the day he was arrested. So apparently they're not behind him.
5:35	That's not good perverted behavior, you really need to say state-of-the-art. If Steve had to guess you'd put a camera right up in the ceiling tile.
5:36	Live read: Townstone Financial
5:42	The State of Illinois is redesigning driver's licenses to make them harder to replicate for fake IDs. That's really going to cut into Buzz's fake ID business. Luckily he sold it just last year.
5:43	New security features include two photos instead of one. The second photo will be a semi-nude. Also included is the date-of-birth in two places. So really they're just making it harder to make fake IDs but not impossible.
5:44	Speaking of that did Buzz get his wallet returned to him? He canceled all the credit cards but now he has to go get a new driver's license. He was very concerned about his Social Security card because he spent a lot of time getting a new one.
5:45	Buzz thought he put his Social Security card in his wallet, which you're not supposed to do. He was laying in bed last night thinking he couldn't have possibly done that so he went to go check his lockbox, which is where it is.
5:46	That was the worst part of losing the wallet for Buzz. He didn't want to have to sit in that Social Security office for an hour and a half again.
5:47	Steve never had a fake ID, he didn't need one. He didn't start drinking until he was a little older.
5:48	Buzz started early so he had a fake ID. Maybe Steve should have started earlier. He burned out already but Buzz didn't.
5:49	Buzz was once picked up by the cops while drunk. The smelled the beer and put him in the back of the car, then they brought him home.
5:50	Buzz's mom totally lost it, probably becuase she was already dealing with his dad. Then Julian III comes home hammered at age 15. She told him if he did it again he'd be out of the house.
5:51	The next time Buzz came home drunk he walked right into the house to brush his teeth. His mom was persistent, following him around the house. Then she realized he was drunk and told him she wanted him out the next morning.
5:52	Buzz woke up the next day afraid to come out of his room. When he finally did his dad told him he really screwed up but he convinced her to let him stay anyway. He probably had the rap down already trying to convince her to let him stay.
5:53	At age 17 Buzz finally did leave home. He was tired of washing the windows at the house so he made a stand and she kicked him out.
5:54	There's a part of Steve that's a stickler for the rules so he didn't drink until he was 21.
5:55	Caller Jeff wanted to pass on some good advice to Buzz. His wallet was also stolen over the weekend. His advice is to file a police report. If someone does turn it into the police they'll know who it belongs to.
5:56	Also, if Buzz happens to get pulled over it'll be in the system that his wallet was stolen. Buzz only gets the car on the weekends, like a teenager, but he'll have a new license by then.
5:57	That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Buzz wanted to look through the garbage near the concession stand but decided not to.
6:04	The more Steve watches The Office the more he likes that Creed guy, formerly of The Grassroots.
6:05	Caller Paul was calling in about Buzz's wallet situation. He's part of an adopt-a-highway program with the Knights of Columbus.
6:06	Paul must look pretty sweet in that hat with the sword. Have they ever thought of using the sword to spear roadside trash?
6:07	Paul has often found wallets on the side of the road which he brings into the local police station.
6:08	Near Steve's house today there was a chain gang paving the road. Or maybe they were just preparing it. Do they take people out there for community service?
6:09	Steve honked as he drove by and flashed his breasts as he normally does when he sees prisoners. He kept driving though because they can't have him.
6:10	Caller Russ is a cop in Westchester. They have those chain gangs out there but it's mostly community service for stuff like DUIs.
6:11	Buzz would love to see Steve out on a chain gang. He doesn't really do anything bad any more but he is under court supervision in Whiteside County.
6:12	Before Steve had his court appearance out there he had a wonderful experience at a local coffee shop. He was also there on the first day they offered WiFi which was very exciting for everyone. Steve also had a delightful scone with whipped butter.
6:13	Sometimes Steve has been known for speed through Westchester, accidentally. That Wolf Road is very open.
6:14	Russ is often set up along Wolf Road, it's easy pickings Steve always gets pulled over right in that scary forest preserve area, then you really think you've done something bad.
6:15	Live read: The Little Guys
6:22	News with Buzz
6:23	Steve is ready for Buzz with some breaking audio that just came in.
6:24	About 6,000 firefighters are battling wildfires that are threatening over 60,000 homes.
6:25	When Steve was a kid there was nothing cooler than seeing those World War II bombers dropping that pink stuff on the fire. When he was a kid that's all you wanted to be, a forest firefighter.
6:26	The Preppie Killer is back behind bars after selling cocaine to an undercover police officer multiple times.
6:27	Buzz remembers the Preppie Killer movie. Who played Robert Chambers? Was it Judd Nelson?
6:28	It seems like it would be someone we know. He might be ready for a new movie though.
6:29	William Baldwin played Robert Chambers in the Preppie Killer movie. Lara Flynn Boyle played the girl but it was a made-for-TV movie so it probably wasn't that good. They should remake it fro HBO or something.
6:30	One show on HBO that they need to stop making is Real Sex. Steve doesn't want to see any of those people naked.
6:31	Representative Pete Stark has apologized after saying that President Bush was sending troops to Iraq to die for his amusement.
6:32	Buzz has a severely edited version of the apology. He didn't really apologize though but he kept going on and on.
6:33	Oprah has made two emergency trips to her school in South Africa. That is not around the block but luckily Oprah has her own jet with long-range fuel capabilities. It's not a school either Buzz, it's an academy!
6:34	Oprah calls them her "children" but they don't live with her. That's the worst part of having kids, they live with you and you can't get rid of them.
6:35	A matron on the school allegedly grabbed a student by her throat and threw her into a wall. That happened to Steve once in prep school. She might do the same thing if she spent any time there.
6:36	Oprah has hired a team of investigators to look into the matter. That'll be happening tomorrow at 9:00.
6:37	Garrison Keilor has filed a restraining order against a stalker who called him, and sent him emails and packages containing bizarre items like petrified alligator's foots and dead beetles. Steve has a more complete list of what he was sent including mugs, keychains with their initials on them and oranges that had rotted by the time they arrived. And that's all from Lake Wobegon.
6:38	Robert Goulet is in the hospital and he needs a lung transplant in order to live. Buzz has already said he's not donating one of his even though he's a match.
6:39	Mayor Daley blasted aldermen who petitioned a federal court to release info about city cops who are most often accused of using excessive force.
6:40	Daley said it was a grandstanding ploy to kick police officers when they're down. Buzz really wishes we had the audio on this.
6:41	Steve think we might be able to find the audio since all the city council meetings stream online.
6:46	Back to Buzz in the newsroom. The ambulance dispatched to pick up a runner who collapsed during the Chicago Marathon got lost on the way to the hospital.
6:47	Call Steve old fashioned but how about GPS in ambulances? Although normally an ambulance goes to it's local hospital. Still though as a taxpayer, Steve is authorizing this expenditure. He doesn't want to die.
6:48	Finally people who used to work for Britney Spears are asking fans to boycott her new album. This sounds like that group of people who used to work for Steve but now hate him.
6:49	The group is trying to help Britney, hoping poor album sales will send her to rehab. Steve feels very bad for Britney. Buzz does too but he keeps thinking of Perez Hilton. He seems like a disgusting creature but he hit the nail on the head when he said she's just stupid.
6:50	The only thing that's going to help Britney is for Steve go out there, check into a hotel, empty out the minibar of everything but Diet Coke and Tolberone and then fire up the hot tub. He'll tell her she doesn't need all that stuff and then when they'll done they'll have some egg-white omelets.
6:56	Earlier in the broadcast Steve might have misrepresented the sad yet interesting yet funny yet heartbreaking saga of Matt and Brendan in Champaign-Urbana. Steve took Matt's side thinking that Brendan bugged out on him.
6:57	Turns out Matt also bugged out on Brendan. That's now how the story was presented to the Dahl family, just so Brendan knows. Janet didn't like that Matt had to drive home alone.
6:58	How old is Matt? He can drive home alone. The boys don't need to chronicle every moment of their life with their mommy.
6:59	Steve saw a picture of the boys from the weekend, why weren't they wearing orange? They were the only guys down there who weren't in orange, how did they expect to get laid?
7:00	If they're going to keep do this college tour they really should have a change of clothes for every Big Ten team. They looked like locals and locals probably don't get laid in a college town.
7:01	Matt had orange with him but he left it in the car. He also told Mike to bring some orange but he's not going to do anything for Matt.
7:02	Steve saw some photos of Mike sent Janet of him doing a beer bong, why is he doing that? Are they sending her pictures of them having sex too? What about the reverse-cowgirl, what do you think? What's wrong with them?!
7:03	Steve doesn't want to see any of this stuff. Really he wants to see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas, that's it. It's these cellphones with the unlimited minutes. Parents are the new radio for kids when they're in the car.