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| 5:32
| That song (Love Shack) just further proves to Steve that Jack might be gay, or at least bisexual. It has that Rock Lobster feel that Buzz loves. |
| 5:33
| Jack has this tough-guy persona, saying he plays what he wants, but he's a wuss and he might be gay. That's fine with Steve as long as he doesn't have have to play his stupid songs. Does Steve look like he's at a gay rave? . |
| 5:34
| When Buzz heard we were playing Love Shack he got it confused with Sugar Shack. When that song was popular Buzz was working at a news station, it was his first morning shift. |
| 5:35
| Every time Buzz got in the car for work that song was on the radio. It was programming his entire day. |
| 5:36
| Steve doesn't have that song on his iTunes, he'll have to buy it. Maybe he'll just play the sample. Is Buzz sure he doesn't want to hear the full song? |
| 5:37
| Imagine Buzz, being 18, with his first real radio gig and this song comes on the radio every morning when he's going to work. It's embarrassing. |
| 5:38
| Steve knows random lyrics in the song but not all of them. He only knows it because he was a dork. Steve doesn't have any cool excuses like it was his first job at a news station. Steve remembers thinking it as a cool song. There was a chick waiting for this guy at the Sugar Shack with coffee! |
| 5:39
| Steve always assumed the Sugar Shack was a whore house. What kind of whore house has coffee though? Steve might have to download it and analyze the lyrics. Steve's already putting money back into the show. |
| 5:40
| Steve was given 2 iTunes gift cards by Todd Cavanah, from B96. He said there were 50 downloads on them but he got about 20 songs and it said they were empty. B96 listeners probably can't count to 50 so it doesn't really matter. |
| 5:41
| Buzz begs to differ, his daughter is a B96 listener and she can go to 50 and beyond. |
| 5:42
| Alright Steve's got the song. What the hell is this instrument they're using? It sounds like some weird Brazilian flute. Those are now exclusively used for massages. |
| 5:43
| So the Sugar Shack is a coffeehouse made of wood, not a whore house. They also serve espresso coffee which is way ahead of it's time. At the time Steve thought it was coffee with heroin in it. He can't imagine coffee being a good conveyance for heroin though. |
| 5:44
| This song is sort of like Steve going to Dunkin' Donuts, there's a cute little girlie working at the Sugar Shack. She's wearing leotards with no shoes though, that sounds like a health code violation. |
| 5:45
| Steve got distracted trying to turn down the temperature in the studio. Someone (Mary!) is trying to heat the place up. It's boiling in the studio right now! It's not that much colder than in the afternoons usually. |
| 5:46
| Mary won't even come into the studio any more because she says it's too cold. She acts like she just fell through the ice, like that scene in It's a Wonderful Life. And Brendan's riding down the hill on the shovel into the lake. |
| 5:47
| Steve can't be warm, it makes him crabby. Buzz dealt with this back in 1981 and he's just learn to deal with it. Steve's like an engine, if he overheats he's no good to anyone. |
| 5:48
| Now Steve knows why Mary comes down here early. They're upstairs talking about the show and then suddenly she has to go. It's only 5:10 but she has to get down here to turn on the flamethrower that's in the ceiling. There's a puddle beside Steve now, it's like he wet himself! |
| 5:49
| OK, back to Sugar Shack. "Make that girl love me when I put on some trash", what does that mean? That might be why Steve thought they were talking about heroin. People didn't say "talkin' trash" back then. |
| 5:50
| Steve feels this is a drug song. Or it's completely stupid and it makes no sense. Now they're married, how did that happen? What trash did he put on? It's not a condom because if he knocked her up he'd have to marry her. |
| 5:51
| Steve's got a few calls he'd like to take but first he needs to take a break. So Bob and Danny McGowan from L-Woods should hold on. Danny's up early, working the hitlines. We're not allowed to call them request lines because Jack says we don't take requests. Frankly, Steve's a little sick of hearing about Jack. |
| 5:56
| Could Mary be any meaner to Steve? She came in to point out that she wrote the "Not a morning person? Neither is Steve Dahl" promo. It's like Todd Cavanah is Jim Jones, passing out Kool-Aid to everyone. |
| 5:57
| Frankly, Steve doesn't get the "we play what we want, not what you want" either. You being the listener? Unless the listeners love iconoclasts. But we can get to tearing apart this format in the weeks to come. |
| 5:58
| Steve doesn't like hearing those promos, especially when he got home last night at midnight at woke up at 4:00 AM. Plus Steve had a little meltdown last night when Matt informed him that his dog was at their house. |
| 5:59
| Steve really doesn't want to be associated with this dog but Janet is equating it to a kid. And he's pushing Janet to take care of this thing. It's a butt-ugly dog too. |
| 6:00
| Steve was on the phone at midnight, on his way home, yelling. He eventually apologized even though he knows he's right. |
| 6:01
| Caller Steena is glad to hear Steve and Buzz in the morning, even though Steve's not a morning person. At least according to Jack, and Mary his evil henchman. |
| 6:02
| Todd commissioned those promos during the week when he was still mad that Steve was coming to wreck his computerized station. Todd commissioned hate, it's like he's The Klan but just against Steve. Steve wakes up in the middle of the night and there's Todd burning a giant CD on his lawn. |
| 6:03
| Steena wanted to let Steve know that "putting on some trash" means getting there anyway possible. |
| 6:04
| Alright we are officially done analyzing Sugar Shack starting...now. Steena did however win the bonus prize. This is the second week in a row that the first caller has one the bonus prize. |
| 6:05
| Back in the day Steve would say "cart it up" and have that woman's voice on a promo for him and Buzz giving away prizes. Maybe they can say something like "Steve Dahl is fat, that's why he gives away food!" It's so bad-ass. |
| 6:06
| Buzz was doing a charity gig over the weekend and he was sitting at a table when someone woman came up to him hopping mad. She said "where are you?!" which made Buzz think he was supposed to be on stage or in the kitchen. |
| 6:07
| She was actually wondering why Steve and Buzz weren't on afternoons any more. Apparently she missed all the promos saying he was moving. That's good to hear. It seems like you'd really have to not be paying attention to have missed that. |
| 6:08
| Last week Steve got an email wondering where Wendy was. They all say "I must have missed something." She's been gone for almost a year! She's had several jobs in radio since then! |
| 6:09
| Alright Danny McGowan from L-Woods and Big Bowl is on the phone. He's not sure if we can keep giving away all these bonus prizes. |
| 6:10
| Steve got a funny email over the weekend from a listener who won a gift certificate. Buzz told her it was for Mon Ami Gabi. but Steve thinks he just says whatever restaurant pops into his head because the print is too small on the prize sheet. It's either Mon Ami Gabi, Scoozi or Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba. |
| 6:11
| The woman got a gift certificate from Mity Nice Grill which she said was fine, since the money will go further, but she had already made plans to go to Mon Ami Gabi. Steve forwarded it on to Buzz. |
| 6:12
| So why is Danny calling in? Shouldn't he be at the South Water Market buying bean sprouts for Big Bowl? |
| 6:13
| Danny knows that Steve doesn't want to talk about Sugar Shack any more but he's seeing a lot of parallels between the song and Steve's recent trips to the Dunkin' Donuts. |
| 6:14
| The girl isn't that hot but Steve decided he'd go in there and work her. Frankly there's a dude there who's hotter. |
| 6:15
| Danny also wanted to let Steve know that the guy who designed their Big Bowl uniforms could probably get him a pair of jeans with a dragon on them. Steve does not want a pair of size 50 jeans with a dragon on them. |
| 6:16
| Steve doesn't really want to go into the Dunkin' Donuts any more because he can't start his day off with a donut. He just wants the girl to like him. There are regulars who come in and as soon as she sees them she starts making something for them. |
| 6:17
| She doesn't talk to the guys, she just makes what they want. She doesn't seem like a talker but she might be a screamer. |
| 6:18
| Caller Bob just got off 355 and it was luxurious. 355 now goes south from I-55 to 80. Steve always liked 355 just when it was going north. If he ever wanted to go out for a cruise he went on 355. He can't do that now that he's under court supervision though. |
| 6:19
| Steve was one of the first people on the new Lower Wacker, accidentally. Somehow he got in with the group of cars on that parade. He was sandwiched between the Bluesmobile and the Weinermobile. |
| 6:27
| It's time now for today's web poll question. Friday's question was how people wanted STeve to bet the Bears game on Sunday. Against the spread was in the lead with 29.2% which is what Steve did. |
| 6:28
| Steve sent out an email to the Steve Dahl Show group asking anyone if they wanted him to put money down on the game. Pete sent in a request for $25 but Steve put down $50. He doesn't even want to put down a bet for $25. |
| 6:29
| Steve put down a bet for $500 with the Bears at minus 3 1/2 points. Steve and the boys went to the ESPN Zone to watch the game, which is a whole other story he can talk about later. It was Pat Dahl and his friends and Mike and a few of his friends and Matt. Apparently Matt doesn't have any friends except his dog and Brendan. |
| 6:30
| Why wasn't Brendan in Vegas with them? Steve would have enjoyed Brendan in Vegas. That was an oversight. |
| 6:31
| They had to leave the game early to get to the airport. Steve didn't have to because he was in first class and would have been expedited. Selfish Steve doesn't care but he didn't want to leave Mike's friends behind. Turns out they had enough time but you never know at that airport. |
| 6:32
| They took a 5:45 flight which is a good time to leave Vegas, the airport isn't too crowded. Steve did see the key plays in the game on Post Game Live. He saw the pass to Berrian and the Benson TD. |
| 6:33
| Sometimes you need gunslinger. It's fine with Steve if this all has a happy ending. Grossman laid that pass in perfectly, Berrian didn't even break stride. That would be the point in the game where you go nuts but Steve was in a limo on the way to the airport. |
| 6:34
| Buzz made up for Steve not going nuts. He was in the room alone by himself and the whole family ran in, and then did various versions of the touchdown dance. Aimee attributes Grossman's success to his new facial hair. He has the beginnings of a beard. |
| 6:35
| Today's web poll question is "How do you like your coffee and porn?" The options are "hot and black", "with cream", "with sugar" and "with cream and sugar". |
| 6:36
| And from the Tribune yesterday, a John Kass article about coffee. Since it's a John Kass article it'll have that fake Mike Royko feel to it. |
| 6:37
| Steve was getting updates from Stephanie about the Bears game. She was on-call all weekend. As Steve was advancing from place to place he wanted someone to do the advancing for him. She did a great job. |
| 6:38
| John Kass often reads the newspaper and has breakfast at the Billy Goat. That shows he's a hardworking reporter. |
| 6:39
| The Billy Goat servers coffee for 50 cents a cup, 55 cents with tax. They won't cross the line into coffee porn though. |
| 6:40
| Kass wonders if there are nutty, smoky traces of oak or salami in the coffee. What about tobacco or smooth oaky finish? Is this going to make sense if Steve keeps reading? |
| 6:41
| Spiros, at the Billy Goat, says Americans love coffee in unnatural ways. John Kass calls it coffee porn. |
| 6:42
| This reminds Steve of a classic moment that happened to him over the weekend. He was staying at the Four Seasons in the Mandalay Bay. There's no casino in the Four Seasons which is actually good. It's away from that stuff. Steve was sent a lovely tray of candies from the people at the Four Season in Chicago. |
| 6:43
| There's a spa at the Four Seasons on the floor below the lobby. Steve got on at the casino floor and there were 6 women in bathrobes, coming from the spa. Then Steve said "I have a dream that starts like this". Steve got a huge laugh. |
| 6:44
| Then a guy gets on and Steve says "In my dream this guy doesn't get on the elevator" and he gets another huge laugh. Then one of the girls says something like "looks like his party might be more fun" because he had a bottle of wine. |
| 6:45
| Then the guy said something like "yeah my party will be better" and he got a laugh but it was just a piggyback from Steve's jokes. Plus his non-joke trampled all over Steve's attempt at a third joke. Steve vowed that if he saw the guy again he'd make him pay. |
| 6:46
| That elevator was primed for that guy. He would have never even thought of his joke if Steve hadn't said his two jokes. Steve was going to say something like "you want to have a party, come with me. You'll need a wheelchair when you leave here" but he thought he'd be arrested. |
| 6:47
| Steve was really irritated by that though. He should have punched the guy, given the girls his wine and then told them to stop by when they were hammered. He's in 37101! |
| 6:48
| Steve can share some of the details of the weekend but he should probably finish this article. Steve's not sure what he should talk about though. He's trying to get his boys to ascribe to a higher level of guy code. |
| 6:49
| The boys had a good time and there are a few things he can talk about. He did his best to not find out too much though. There are some things he heard yesterday that he didn't want to know about. They weren't even good things either. |
| 6:50
| Caller Mindy is glad to hear Steve and Buzz on mornings. She used to listen when Steve was on the AM radio. Mindy works the overnight shift so she's driving home right now. |
| 6:51
| Mindy works as a 9-1-1 dispatcher. That has to be pretty crazy on the overnight shift. |
| 6:54
| OK back to John Kass, who's just a regular guy who enjoys regular coffee. He thinks that people like their fancy coffee too much and that amounts to coffee porn. |
| 6:55
| Porn gets attached to a lot of stuff these days. Porn is people having sex with stuff. So you're having sex with your coffee or your percolator. Steve would like to reel back in real porn. |
| 6:56
| Kass is basically bad-rapping the Trib for having an article about coffee with a smooth, oaky finish. He says he's not though, he's just a regular guy who drinks 50 cent coffee. |
| 6:57
| Who cares how much coffee costs? If you care about how much coffee costs then you're not successful. Coffee is a measure of success. |
| 6:58
| Kass says that people willing to pay $400 a pound for coffee beans that were digested by a cat is the worst example of American excess. Steve was just in Vegas, he saw way worse. Seeing that would have been grounding actually. |
| 6:59
| Kass recommends drinking coffee from a percolator, if you can find one. The kids these days, who let their shirts hang out when they're wearing a suit, don't know percolators. That's how all the kids dressed in Vegas. He's just a regular guy like MIke Royko. Even though Kass lives in the suburbs, right by Steve. |
| 7:00
| Buzz knows of a great song about percolators that we're not playing. That's right, we're not playing it! Buzz can play it on his Swing show. |
| 7:01
| Alright, on the phone is Tom Thayer. Tom got in pretty late last night. Steve was in Vegas and up until he left for the airport nothing good was happening. |
| 7:02
| Steve was hoping the Bears would come out and dominate the Raiders but they didn't. Tom was really disappointed about that but the defense was great. |
| 7:03
| The Raiders were trying to create an atmosphere at the stadium, starting the second half of the season. They could have been 1 game behind first with a win. |
| 7:04
| JaMarcus Russell didn't accidentally get on the Bears plane coming back here did he? He's still safe in Oakland. |
| 7:05
| It was good to see Air Grossman back in the game. Tom was just glad to see that Rex was prepared when he came into the game. And he was trying to fire up guys on the O-line and get things going. |
| 7:06
| And there were guys on the offense like Muhsin Muhammad who haven't had a lot to celebrate about lately, congratulating Rex. |
| 7:07
| Both of the Raiders starting corners were out of the game yesterday. But the Bears were missing Nate Vasher too. That Trumaine McBride kid has been doing a good job though. |
| 7:08
| It's good to have him in there now, building his confidence up. When Vasher comes back that will just give the Bears more options for defense. McBride is playing athletically and instinctively. |
| 7:09
| Tom had a chance to watch the tape of the game on the way home last night and he was able to reconfirm that McBride played a good game. The Raiders have some weird QB things going on but they still have receivers who can run. |
| 7:10
| Does anyone know the extent of the injury to Griese? It seemed like a shoulder separation to Steve. It is his left shoulder which is the good news. They can just tie it to his side and go shotgun the whole time. |
| 7:11
| When Grossman came in and fumbled the first snap Steve was like "oh great" but then it got a little better. Griese also had a problem with this first snap and of course Olin Kreutz took the blame. |
| 7:12
| Rex got it together and the defense definitely helped. Tom can't say enough about the defense. There were some great individual efforts but the team defense was pretty overwhelming. |
| 7:13
| The way they were attacking the line of scrimmage was pretty impressive. It's important for the defense to stay rested though so they can "get their blitz pants on" as Tom said yesterday. That might be Steve's favorite new phrase. |
| 7:14
| The Raiders did kick to Hester and he ran one back for 60+ yards but then it was called back because of a penalty. |
| 7:15
| Tom was getting a little disturbed watching Hester yesterday and that's something Dave Toub will have to address. Tom's not sure if Hester was being allowed to do all those reverses, running back and forth. |
| 7:16
| It doesn't seem like a good idea for him to be doing that because it allows the Raiders to triangulate where you're going to be. Tom likes that word, triangulate. He's going to use it next week. |
| 7:17
| Buzz was really surprised to see Devin Hester run out of bounds without being hit. Tom feels that it was a good option because the triangulation was such that he'd have 6 guys landing on him. |
| 7:18
| Is Buzz questioning Hester's manhood? That's not the Miami way! There was that one play when Muhammad caught the ball and then ran out of bounds. |
| 7:19
| Tom's OK with Moose doing that since he's been in the league for 13 years. The Moose play that really killed Tom was the unnecessary block in the back he had on the pass to John Tait. |
| 7:20
| Tom mentioned yesterday that Hester needs to work on his routes a bit more. If he wants to be a big play receiver he's going to have to do that. |
| 7:21
| He seemed a little undisciplined yesterday to Steve both on the routes and on the returns. |
| 7:22
| Cedric Benson had 97 yards but Tom thought he should have had more. He's a tough runner when he runs straight on. Some guys are blessed with speed when they turn the corner but they're not going to have a lot of in-line power. |
| 7:23
| After watching the tape again it seems like Benson is going to be really sore today because he took a lot of hard hits. |
| 7:24
| Benson seems terminally glum to Buzz and he feels that's hurting the perception of him. Tom would like to see some false enthusiasm from him at least. |
| 7:25
| Thomas Jones wasn't exactly Mr. Personality either but he was a lot more action. As Tom did a few weeks ago if you compare their stats up to this point it's pretty equal. |
| 7:26
| Tom was a little bummed out yesterday that there was no live read for him and Jeff being on the show. |
| 7:27
| That's Drew's fault, he should have known there was supposed to be one. Tom doesn't want to blame Drew. He's just being an O-lineman, taking the blame for a position player. |
| 7:28
| Buzz was wondering if that announcer yesterday purposely said "Favra" instead of Favre. |
| 7:35
| Alright Tom Thayer is on the phone. It was Matt Vasgersian who said "Bret Favra" yesterday. It must have been a There's Something About Mary reference but he didn't set it up properly. |
| 7:36
| Buzz can't imagine that an announcer wouldn't know how to say Bret Favre's name. He didn't say it as a joke though. Neither of those guys seemed very funny. |
| 7:37
| Those guys they had yesterday were the worse announces. Whoever was doing the commentary, they kept showing little lists he'd put together like his top 5 college football teams. That's JC Pearson. |
| 7:38
| Those two guys might be the lowest rung on the Fox broadcasting ladder and they're terrible. |
| 7:39
| Caller Jim wanted to let Steve know that Matt Vasgersian is also the Padres announcer. He's the guy was in the booth when Rick Sutcliffe was all hammered up. "What's the best city in the world Mud?" |
| 7:40
| It'll be interesting to see who calls the came next week. If it's that same crew Tom will give them Steve's love. |
| 7:41
| Caller Yvonne loves Steve and Buzz in the morning but misses them in the afternoon. We can't be in two places at once but thanks. |
| 7:42
| As an NIU alum, Yvonne is wondering when we'll see more Garrett Wolfe. Tom knows they want to get him in the game more. He's been playing on special teams a lot so far. |
| 7:43
| The Bears just need to find a niche for him. It's not going to be like NIU or high school for him when he carries the load for the team. |
| 7:44
| Caller Leonard is wondering if it's too soon to start back on the on-again-off-again relationship with Rex Grossman. |
| 7:45
| Steve doesn't know what to think about Grossman. Tom's excited to see what he'll do with this new opportunity. He has to play well for several reasons. |
| 7:46
| You never know, this could be the beginning of a resurgence for him. There was that one play when Rex scrambled out of the pocket and he seemed to be doing it with a newfound vigor. |
| 7:47
| It'll be interesting to talk about that this week. Plus Kyle Orton is one snap away from getting into the game. It seemed like he realized that yesterday. |
| 7:48
| Leonard thought he saw a look in Orton's face like he was just waiting for that one bad play so he could go in. Players next wish something like that on other players, it's bad karma. But they're always prepared for something to happen. |
| 7:49
| You don't want a guy on your team who's not ready or willing to come into the game if he has to. You don't want a guy who puts his pads and jersey on but then hides behind the bench. That would be Steve. |
| 7:50
| Listening to Steve and Buzz in the mornings, on the way into work, is like reading the newspaper for Tom. It's just the Tempo section though, Tom doesn't go front page. |
| 7:51
| Tom was wondering how Buzz's hair was looking. He's got the hat off right now. Tom's going to get his hair like Fabio's and then he and Buzz can fight it out. |
| 7:55
| "What's the greatest city in the world Mud?" Steve doesn't know how to say Matt Vasgersian's name so he's just going to say Vagesarian. That's too bad for him. |
| 7:56
| It sounds like Matt was trying to go for the joke there but he didn't set it up properly. He should have said something like "As the Coen Brothers say..." or as "Ben Stiller says..." |
| 7:57
| Live read: Allen Brothers |
| 7:58
| Buzz sent Allen Brothers steaks as a wedding present. The response was quite overwhelming. There are so many wedding gifts that you get and don't need but when you get a load of steaks the good times are just beginning. |
| 7:59
| Buzz threw in a couple of Allen Brothers steak knives as well. Nice! They opened in 1893, that's 104 years. They know what they're doing. |
| 8:00
| Buzz loves the Allen Brothers catalog and he saves all of them. Steve said earlier that people attach the word porn to too much stuff but the Allen Brothers catalog really is meat porn. |
| 8:01
| Buzz is pretty sure it's Gene & Georgetti's, not Gene & Georgetti. It's possessive. We could easily find out though. |
| 8:02
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 8:03
| It's Veterans Day, or at least it was yesterday. Most schools are closed today and there's no mail service. |
| 8:04
| It is Gene & Georgetti according to their website. Steve knows that because he works out with Tony, the owner of Gene & Georgetti. They lift giant slabs of meat, like in Rocky. |
| 8:05
| More details in the death of celebrity realtor, and former Ramones manager, Linda Stein. Her assistant, Natavia Lowery, has made a verbal and written confession and charged with second degree murder. |
| 8:06
| Did we report this story last week? Steve doesn't really remember it. |
| 8:07
| Drew Peterson, who's be named as a suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife and who's third wife's body is going to be exhumed (just in time for this weekend) told Gerald Rivera that is has lost 25 pounds during this ordeal. It's only been two weeks! |
| 8:08
| For the sixth straight year Cindy Harris won the women's division of the race to the top of the Sears Tower. She made it to the top in 15 minutes and 1 second. |
| 8:09
| Buzz can't do stairs. Even when he was in his best condition if he did 2 flights of stairs he'd be dying. Steve doesn't understand how anyone at the gym can do the Stairmaster. Steve's trying to invent the Elevatormaster but it doesn't burn any calories. He's since moved on to the Escalatormaster. |
| 8:10
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:11
| These live reads still mention the Townstone Financial show even though it's not on the same station as Steve. Steve's not going to mention what station it's on though. |
| 8:12
| Steve told David he could promote the new show on Dahl.com but ho told David it was OK to do it in these live reads? He must have Rod Zimmerman over a barrel. |
| 8:13
| Sometimes David needs to just exercise a little self-control. He's never going to make it in radio. |
| 8:14
| Steve got an actual letter, not an email, from a listener in Japan who never misses a podcast. Now that Steve's on in the morning he can listen to the show live. |
| 8:15
| A while back Steve said he wanted to hang out in Japan and eat noodles with his friend Shu. Steve still does want to do that. The listener sent Steve some of the finest street vendor noodles from Japan. |
| 8:16
| The listener also feels that Buzz is right, Steve will be huge in Japan. Not just size-wise either. |
| 8:17
| This guy is really of Japanese descent, he's astronaut Dan Tani's nephew. Dan will be up at the ISS until at least December. |
| 8:18
| Steve was thinking we should try to get some sort of live feed to the ISS. If Steve was NASA he wouldn't let that happen though. |
| 8:19
| And now Steve has a great box of noodles. You know how he knows it's Japanese? He has no idea what it says. The box might be upside-down for all Steve knows. |
| 8:20
| Steve also has something from Dan Tani himself. Was it actually sent from the space lab? It says 11:09 so it has to be from space. |
| 8:21
| The subject line is "Hello From Space", way to go Steve. Dan's friends have emailed him to let him know that the show moved stations and that Steve was kind enough to mention him on the air. This is what they're thinking about the ISS. |
| 8:22
| Dan has also changed stations...to the International Space Station. Dan is killing us here! This email has a confidentiality thing at the end of it. They need to put that at the beginning. |
| 8:23
| That might just be something they put at the end of every email. Steve's not sure if they have it at Jack but on WCKG every email sent out had two paragraphs of confidentiality stuff on it. |
| 8:24
| Drew sends Steve a one sentence email that's not even worth reading and then it's two paragraphs about confidentiality. They were always bad radio ideas like "how about open mic Mondays. We just set a mic up on the street and people walk up and say something!" |
| 8:25
| Actually that's not a bad idea. Steve can't even think of bad radio ideas. |
| 8:29
| Live read: Comcast |
| 8:30
| Alright, the worst way to shake hands, from CNN.com. |
| 8:31
| Steve's agreeing with this article, the handshake is everything. Buzz has often shaken someone's hand, realized he didn't like the person and then seen his hand go limp. |
| 8:32
| Buzz can't help himself, it's like the hand is acting on it's own. Steve is sorry to hear that. |
| 8:33
| Here are 10 nightmarish handshakes to avoid in order to not make a bad first impression or worse. |
| 8:34
| The Macho Cowboy is a bone-crunching clasp. Whenever that happens to Buzz he says "ow, you're hurting me" If someone does that to Steve he says something like "are you trying to break my hand?" or "we're shaking hands, not arm-wrestling" |
| 8:35
| The Wimp is usually delivered by men who are afraid to hurt the little lady's hand. Steve doesn't do that, he shakes a woman's hand normally. Then he rubs his finger in the palm of their hand. |
| 8:36
| The Dead Fish conveys no power whatsoever. A firm clasp is better one that barely grabs the hands. |
| 8:37
| When Steve was a kid his dad belonged to hunting club. Once Steve went to shake another member's hand, Eddie DeMuth and he said "what's wrong with you, you're hand is like a wet noodle!" Steve has that in mind to this day. |
| 8:38
| The Four Finger is when the person's hand never mets your palm. All four of your fingers are clasped together, crushing them. If that happens to Steve he demands a reshake. |
| 8:39
| The Cold and Clammy feels like you're shaking hands with a snake. Warm your hand up first. This article was written by women though. |
| 8:40
| The Sweaty Palm is pretty self-explanatory. The I've Got You Covered is when the other person covers the shake with their left hand. |
| 8:41
| Sometimes that shake isn't bad. What does these women known? Steve's not writing articles about child birth is he? |
| 8:42
| The I Won't Let Go is when the person won't let go. Steve's had that happen to him before. He always pulls away and not meekly either. |
| 8:43
| The Southpaw is when the person shakes with their left hand. That can happen if someone lost a limb. |
| 8:44
| The Ringed Torture is when someone's ring hurts your hand during a shake. These girls need to toughen up. |
| 8:45
| The article recommends limiting the number of rings you wear on your right hand. This must be advice for women then. |
| 8:46
| If they want handshake advice they should come to Steve. He'll give you The Bill Clinton, that's when you look right in their eyes. |
| 8:46
| Now some tips on how to shake hands properly. During the approach, extend your right arm when you're 3 feet away. Slightly angle your arm across your chest, thumb pointing up. Isn't that sort of common sense? |
| 8:47
| When Buzz shakes hands does he maintain eye contact with the person or does he keep his eyes on the hands for docking. |
| 8:48
| Buzz likes to take a glance at the hand, to triangulate the approach but then he looks back at the person. |
| 8:49
| Also some tips for a meet and greet. Always stand up which Steve does all the time, man or woman. Step or lean forward, make eye contact and have a pleasant or animated face. |
| 8:50
| Buzz usually makes a really goofy face whenever he's shaking someone's hand. |
| 8:51
| Then shake hands and repeat the person's name. Maybe if you're a car salesmen. |
| 8:52
| Caller Mike loves the show in the mornings. He has a friend who had the limp shake and you can never get the hand in there. Mike needs to tell his friend about the handshake. Imagine what's happening to him at work. |
| 8:53
| Mike was taught how to shake hands the same way Steve was. His dad was a welder and there was a guy at the shop who told him how to shake hands properly. |
| 8:54
| You can't have a limp handshake unless you're a gay prostitute. Actually, Steve would prefer that a gay prostitute has a firm handshake, for when you're conducting business. |
| 8:55
| Caller Vince has a supervisor who's way older than him, but gives him the limp, dead-handed handshake. |
| 8:56
| Whenever anyone says anything about it he says he has arthritis. But later in the day he's in the shop wailing away with a hammer. |
| 8:57
| Why doesn't he try firming up the shake by using his left hand? Or how about a backslap? |
| 8:58
| Maybe Vince's supervisor is Mike's friend. If that's the case this will all be taken care of. |
| 8:59
| On the phone is Pat Boyle from Comcast Sportsnet. Steve ran into his colleague Chuck Garfein out in Vegas over the weekend. |
| 9:00
| Steve did some gambling with Chuck and then rain into him at baggage claim. Is Chuck stalking Steve? |
| 9:01
| There was some pretty good things happening over the weekend. That U of I game was fantastic, shocking the #1 ranked team. That's quite a turn-around for that team. |
| 9:02
| There's a very good chance that U of I could be playing in a bowl game on New Year's Day. They're ranked #20 now but who knows what will happen. |
| 9:03
| It seems like you should move up higher than #20 if you beat the #1 team. Sometimes the #1 just has a bad day, which is what Ohio State was acting like. Then they forgot that they were supposed to say that U of I is a great team and backtracked. |
| 9:04
| That Juice Williams looked pretty good though. That kid is a sophomore, he had 4 TDs and they couldn't stop him on the ground. |
| 9:05
| Who would have thought that at this point you'd rather have Ron Zook's program at U of I over Charlie Weis' program at Notre Dame? |
| 9:06
| Buzz sees nothing wrong with Charlie Weis' program, he lives for those Notre Dame games. The NBC execs have to be jumping out of windows at Rockefeller Plaza over this. |
| 9:07
| Lucky for Dick Ebersol that Football Night in America is doing well. People probably still tune in to the Notre Dame games though, even if they just want to watch the agony. |
| 9:08
| When Pat sees Mike Dahl today he should raz him for not getting up early enough on Saturday to get any money on the U of I game. On Friday he was saying it was going to be easy money. |
| 9:09
| Steve won some money on the Bears game yesterday. Steve's initial response to Rex running onto the field was amusement and then he fumbled his first snap. |
| 9:10
| After that Steve resigned himself to the fact that he was going to lose $500. Now he has to send his slip in to get the check. That's what he has people for. |
| 9:11
| That game won't be sent to NFL Network as an instant classic but they pulled a win out of the fire. How bad was that broadcast team though? |
| 9:12
| Unfortunately they're the broadcast team next week. Who's that other guy besides Vasgersian? Steve's never heard of him but every other down there was a slide of something that he thinks. |
| 9:13
| They didn't really show replays yesterday either. Every time there should have been a replay there was another list, like JC Pearson's top 5 books. |
| 9:14
| Pat was watching the game with Jiggetts who was ready to shot put the TV because they weren't showing replays. |
| 9:15
| If you look at yesterday from a wild card perspective, all the right teams lost yesterday to help the Bears. The Giants and the Lions both lost. |
| 9:16
| So now the question is, who starts against Seattle? Steve says Rex Grossman. Over 50% of the people said that on the poll last night on Comcast. Why not? |
| 9:17
| Pat think they'll go back to Rex and use the excuse that Griese isn't at 100% yet. If they catch lightning in the bottle then he'll keep starting. |
| 9:18
| Buzz feels this is all just an opportunity to get Kyle Orton back at QB. Let's just end all the madness and have one QB. |
| 9:19
| You're going to see a desperate Rex Grossman also because he's got a contract to think about. He has a wife to support, in addition to his eyebrow shaping habit. |
| 9:20
| Yesterday Rex had some stubble which Buzz's wife felt led to his success. Without the stubble he does sort of look like a 14-year old. He also had a really bad Bears hat on yesterday. |
| 9:21
| Steve didn't watch the Blackhawks game. Rocky Wirtz couldn't have scripted a better home TV debut for the team though. |
| 9:22
| The Red Wings are probably the best team in the NHL this year 3 of their 4 losses have been to the Hawks. |
| 9:23
| Comcast had their cast of characters at the game including Kerry Sayers who went around interviewing the VIPs which at a Hawks game meant Joan Cusack and Kid Rock. Kid Rock? Steve's so sick of that guy! |
| 9:24
| Pat some tape of Kerry talking to Kid Rock in which he hits on her. Steve thought Kid Rock was saying that the Red Wings were all out with him. The consensus around Comcast was that he was hitting on Kerry. Let's listen again. |
| 9:25
| It's still a good tape, nonetheless. Steve's going to start going to Hawks games just so they have some decent celebrities. Kid Rock?! What does he even do? He's just famous for being famous. |
| 9:26
| There was a brief moment when Steve liked Kid Rock but now he's just so full of himself. Buzz turned on him when he started nailing Pam Anderson. Is that because Buzz is Borat? |
| 9:27
| The Pam Anderson fantasy wasn't sullied for Buzz by Tommy Lee because it gave us a good video. |
| 9:32
| It was fun to watch U of I beat Ohio State, he doesn't like anything about them. He doesn't like the way they show off with the stickers on their helmet. We get it, you're a good player. |
| 9:33
| Buzz's alma mater, University of Miami, made history on Saturday as well losing 48-0 in their final game at the Orange Bowl. They're still putting out good players but as a team they're struggling. The Dolphins lost too, their perfect season continues. |
| 9:34
| Yesterday when Steve checked in at the American Airlines desk instead of checking in himself. You can check in yourself but Steve doesn't like to. |
| 9:35
| When he got to the front of the line the woman asked him if he had checked in. Of course he hadn't checked in, that's why he's in the line. Why would he check in himself? Should he also take flying lessons so he can pilot the plane? |
| 9:36
| When she asked Steve for his ID he showed it to her but she made him take it out of the holder, even though you could clearly see it was him. Then she made him lift his bag onto the conveyor belt instead of doing it herself. |
| 9:37
| It was at that point that Steve noticed she had a Miami Dolphins pin on and asked her how the team did. She didn't know but he told her they'd lost. She said "someone has to be a fan!" |
| 9:38
| Steve's been watching this oil spill in San Francisco on TV and they keep taking birds out of the water. They're just birds though. Steve gets that it's bad but how much time are they going to waste trying to get oil off of a bird? Maybe it's natural selection since the birds were stupid enough to land in the oil. |
| 9:39
| It's not like it's a baby covered in oil, it's a bird. It's a seagull too, those are irritating birds. They don't even have feelings. It's not a dog or a cat. |
| 9:40
| Buzz has had 7 parakeets and some of those birds were all feelings. Steve's just sick of seeing birds having oil cleaned off of them. Unless the bird is extinct you should just toss it. It seems like money not well-spent if they're cleaning oil off of birds. |
| 9:41
| There was a guy on hold who said that Kid Rock had a Red Wings jersey on last night with "Kid Rock" on the back in case you didn't know who it was. Buzz surmises that it was a gift from the team. |
| 9:42
| It probably was a gift from the team but it stays at home, or your girlfriend wears it. People know you're Kid Rock based on the dopey way that you dressed. |
| 9:43
| There was a review of Kid Rock's show over the weekend and supposedly it was good. He annoys Steve though. He and Tommy Lee both talk a big game but they basically had a tickle fight at the MTV Music Awards. It was like two women fighting in a lockerroom. |
| 9:44
| You have to hang on though when Brendan puts you on hold. 9 times out of 10 Steve's going to take the call. But this guy hung up, losing out on a $100 gift certificate and a chance to speak to the great and powerful Oz. |
| 9:45
| Steve hated to burst Pat Boyle's bubble over that Kid Rock/Kerry Sayers thing but it was clear that he wasn't asking her out. |
| 9:46
| Does Buzz want to hear more about this oil spill thing? Three veterinarians and a vet technician arrived at Fort Mason last Wednesday to organize a rescue effort. |
| 9:47
| By Thursday they had 21 seabirds they were treating, all surf scoters according to Michael Ziccardi director of the California Oiled Wildlife Care Network. Steve likes his birds oiled and then baked of broiled. |
| 9:48
| These birds are being treated better than the hurricane victims. The network assesses the health of the birds and then put them in boxes and bring them to the San Francisco Bay Oiled WIldlife Care and Education Center where they will receive the world's most advanced vet care for oiled wildlife. Do they also get an education? |
| 9:49
| If Steve jumped into the oiled water would he get this kind of treatment? Is this how he could get a washing? |
| 9:53
| News with Buzz |
| 9:54
| As early as tomorrow the U.S. Supreme Court could address the issue of the Second Amendment and the right to bare arms. Is that like the right to wear a tank top? |
| 9:55
| This ruling could affect courts throughout the land. And once they make that there's really nothing else you can do. You could be the NRA or the Coalition to Stop Violence, it doesn't matter. That's why the call it the Supreme Court. It's like the Burrito Supreme at Taco Bell, there's no burrito above it. |
| 9:56
| Steve's been trying to follow what's going on in Pakistan and he can't. Basically Pakistan has 50 nuclear weapons and we don't know where they are. We finance stuff and then lose track of it. |
| 9:57
| Duane "Dog" Chapman's son's black girlfriend has announced plans to sue the TV star for slander and defamation of character. |
| 9:58
| Still no trace of Stacy Peterson and her husband Drew is now a suspect. Drew told Gerald Rivera that he's lost 25 pounds during this ordeal. There are also plans to exhume the body of Peterson's third wife, just in time for Thanksgiving. Was this a TV interview? |
| 9:59
| Pete says that Geraldo talked to Drew Peterson in his house and then addressed the media afterwards. So it wasn't on camera but it was on the record. |
