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| 5:32
| 5:32 in the morningtime right now, .38 Special comin' at ya. We might need an intro, or Steve could just backsell the song everyday. |
| 5:33
| So far nobody has stepped forward with an idea for an intro. Steve feels that Pete is playing his passive-aggressive role. Steve canceled the show open on the afternoon show. Pete probably figures if he didn't need one in the afternoon he doesn't need one in the morning. |
| 5:34
| The morning is when you need the show open to buy some time. Pete, how do you respond to those charges? |
| 5:35
| Pete responds not quilty. He's stuttering again. He's like Stuttering Pete. Yesterday he sounded like Porky Pig. |
| 5:36
| Pete's doing great today though, his ride in on the train was great. There weren't as many bums today because the weather is warmer. They like the al fresco sleeping. |
| 5:37
| Yesterday a homeless guy asked Pete if he could come over to his place for Thanksgiving. First the guy tried to figure out what Pete did that had him going to work at that time of the morning. He never guessed production guy for a morning radio show. |
| 5:38
| Pete finally told the guy that he's not at liberty to say what he does. Steve can say Pete using the phrase "I'm not at liberty to say" a lot outside of work. Someone asks him if he's seen their daughter, he says "I'm not at liberty to say." |
| 5:39
| Pete's the next Drew Peterson. Any day now there are going to be news vans camped outside his Rogers Park condo. Then he'll come out in a Steve Dahl Show baseball cap and tell the reporters that he'll never have another overdue library book. |
| 5:40
| After that the homeless guy asked Pete if he would save a chicken leg for him this Thanksgiving. Chicken? Doesn't he mean turkey? Should we get back to Pete after he's had some coffee because his storytelling abilities are lacking. |
| 5:41
| There's a cute girl at the Dunkin' Donuts at the Loyola "L" stop. Now Pete is stealing Steve's bit? Steve doesn't even have a cute girl at his Dunkin' Donuts. |
| 5:42
| There are always dudes, coming in from their night off, working the girl. Has Pete ever seen Catman there? He's just waiting for the Thursday morning when he runs into Catman coming home from a night out. |
| 5:43
| Thursday is usually the night when people start going out for the weekend. There were a lot of people out yesterday morning because of the holiday. |
| 5:44
| Steve was subject to some of the worst driving on his way to and from work yesterday. And he has to stay at 55 mph because he's under court supervision. |
| 5:45
| So back to Pete's Dunkin' Donuts girl. All these dudes hit on the girl and are ordering breakfast sandwiches at the same time. Are these young dudes, because Steve wouldn't mind coming up there and putting them in their place. |
| 5:46
| Pete tries to throw these guys a look because he's just one guy who wants to order a coffee. They're taking their time, ordering sandwiches and working this chick. Plus at that train station there's an announcement telling you the train is coming and everyone hears that. |
| 5:47
| Steve was going to try to recreate the station announcement but apparently he threw his megaphone at the wall. That happens sometimes when it runs out of batteries. It seems sort of childish but usually someone just goes to Radio Shack and gets a new one. |
| 5:48
| Pete does sort of look like a homeless guy, maybe he should go with a nice messenger bag to improve his chances. Today there were 5 guys at the Dunkin' Donuts but Steve's house. They were all standing around the counter which is usually what you do when you order, but in Steve's mind the girl in there was cheating on him. |
| 5:52
| Steve's going to say this for the last time, the Jack promos have to stop. Otherwise something bad is going to happen. You can't have a promo that says "Having a bad day? Here's someone who's going to make it worse" and then go to Steve. |
| 5:53
| You can't have people questioning the decision they've made to listen to the show. God knows there are enough opportunities to do that during the show. How is Steve going to make the morning worse and how will that attract people to the show? |
| 5:54
| Steve understands there are some people who would rather be listening to Van Halen right now but Steve doesn't want to pander to them. Todd Cavanah shouldn't be pandering to them either. In the long run you're better off going with Steve. |
| 5:55
| Steve gets the self-effacing attitude. He's Jack, he plays what he wants. This promo wasn't even written by anyone on the show, unlike the one from yesterday that Mary wrote. She drank Todd Cavanah's Kool-Aid. |
| 5:56
| Mary even came in and said she didn't write that promo. She said she wrote a version of it but it wasn't that mean. So Todd took her words and made it worse. Is Steve going to have to start making fun of Todd's Pellegrino water? |
| 5:57
| Todd walks around with a bottle of Pellegrino water. If you're at a restaurant and they ask you if you want sparkling or still water Pellegrino is the sparkling. It's in a wine bottle. |
| 5:58
| Pete could delete that specific promo but he doesn't want to delete all of them. No, he does want to delete it. What's wrong with everyone around here? |
| 5:59
| Pete could "accidentally" delete it but he feels like he's overstepping his boundary. Buzz can sort of see where Pete's coming from. Maybe we need to install a tampon machine out in the hallway too! |
| 6:00
| Steve would like to hear all the promos in that group because there are some good ones. But Pete could replace those with something generic. Can we go to something else for the time being? Buzz has a Dunkin' Donuts story but it doesn't involve a girl. |
| 6:01
| Buzz was leaving Highland Park late on Saturday after a gig. He gets to a traffic stop and pulls behind a car. The light turns green and the car doesn't go anywhere. Buzz honks and honks and the guy doesn't move. Then the light changes to red. |
| 6:02
| The next time the light is green Buzz pulls alongside the car and the driver is passed out. Was it Tony LaRussa? Or maybe George Michael? Buzz ran through a list of possible celebrities. |
| 6:03
| There was a Dunkin' Donuts on the street so Buzz decided to pull off and get a cappuccino for the drive home. The person at Dunkin' Donuts asked Buzz if he wanted a latte and he doesn't know what any of that stuff is so he told them to use their best judgment. |
| 6:04
| As Buzz is waiting he's looking out at the car still sitting there, people going around it. It occurred to Buzz that maybe the guy was dead, he looked like an older gentleman. So Buzz decided he should go check the guy out to see if he was OK. He does have paramedic experience, he played one in Silence of the Lambs. |
| 6:05
| Then Buzz realized if the guy was dead he'd have to call 9-1-1 and then sit there with this dead guy he doesn't know. He did have a latte and a nice big car to wait in though. |
| 6:06
| But then Buzz thought if the guy was dead he'd like to see it. How great of a payoff for a story would that be? A dead guy and a latte! As he was deciding though the car started and the guy drove away. |
| 6:07
| The latte was really good though, Buzz nursed it until about 3:00 AM. He went to bed at 4:00 AM, it's hard coming down off a gig. |
| 6:08
| Steve doesn't really need an intro for the show though. Steve was told Pete would be in a dither about this. Steve likes coming on after the song. |
| 6:09
| Steve doesn't want Pete to delete all those promos but someone has to do something about them. Steve's not going to wake up at 4:00 AM everyday then come down here and hear promos that he sucks. Steve's willing to say he sucks but let him write them. |
| 6:10
| Pete has no problem replacing the promos but he doesn't want to delete them. Why doesn't he just burn them all on a CD and keep them in a pile in his studio and then delete them? |
| 6:11
| Steve will have this all figured out by Wednesday so Pete doesn't have to worry. He thought he had this figured out last week though. Steve knows that Todd's not a mean guy, he probably just doesn't know better. |
| 6:12
| But it's still disturbing that Pete won't just delete the promos. He's not going to get in trouble, it's Steve's show. In all the time Pete has worked here has he ever been in trouble? No! Neither has Mary or Brendan or Jim. |
| 6:13
| In past administrations things have been looser, according to Pete. The only reason Todd is button-down is because he's never had a real person to deal with the station. |
| 6:14
| It's all fake anyway! All formats are fake. It's just in a book full of graphs and pie charts. Steve doesn't need a pie chart to tell him how to do a radio show! It's cool to have the graphs in your office when people come in, it looks impressive. |
| 6:15
| Todd's just following this book though, maybe Steve needs to show him the way. And there are plenty of things that Todd knows that Steve's learning. Fashion for one but also stuff about audience research. |
| 6:16
| Self-effacing is fine but you also don't want people to think they shouldn't be listening. You can be self-effacing as long as you can control it. Maybe Steve should come up with his own format. He's still getting used to his new schedule though. |
| 6:17
| Buzz woke up at 5:36 and realized he was 6 minutes late to work. He bolted upright in bed and said very loudly "I'm late for work!" At the same moment Buzz was trying to figure out who to blame for this. Was it Aimee's fault for not setting the alarm? Why didn't Mary call him at 5:30 when he hadn't shown up yet? |
| 6:18
| Then Buzz hears "It's Saturday" from Aimee. At that time he couldn't get back to sleep. |
| 6:19
| Steve's not trying to take down the format though. He likes the station, he finds himself listening to it. Buzz is always encouraged when he gets into a cab and the driver is listening to Jack. |
| 6:20
| How about "Having a bad morning? Let Steve put his tongue in your donut hole." That's self-effacing and witty! He could probably write some but he doesn't want to. It seems like he does enough. |
| 6:27
| Maybe that donut hole promo isn't self-effacing. Steve gets that Jack wants to have an attitude but he can help. |
| 6:28
| In the meantime Steve's going to have to install a tampon machine out in the hallway for Pete and Jim. Pete especially, he's going through 5 or 6 a day. No wonder he's having trouble with the Dunkin' Donuts girl, she likes dudes. |
| 6:29
| Alright time for the web poll question of the day. First yesterday's results. For the question "how do you like your coffee and porn?" "Hot and black" was the winner at 36.81%. |
| 6:30
| Today's question is "Who's hotter?" and the options are Sister Norma Giannini, Debora LaFave and Mary Kay Letourneau. |
| 6:31
| Nun, 79, declines to fight sex case, from the Chicago Tribune. A nun who taught in Chicago Catholic schools for nearly 30 years plead no contest to molesting 2 teenage boys at a Milwaukee elementary school in the 60s. |
| 6:32
| She was scheduled to go on trial Monday but instead entered the plea. Had she gone to trial victims' advocates believe she would have been the first nun to face a jury for sexually abusing children. |
| 6:33
| Todd Cavanah's here, fixing our problems. He's not wearing the dragon blue jeans today, he's wearing the ones with the holes in them. Steve loves how people pay $500 for jeans with holes in them. |
| 6:34
| According to a complaint filed last December, Giannini engaged in dozens of sexual encounters with two boys while she was an 8th grade teacher and principal and St. Patrick's School in Milwaukee. The principal is my pal. |
| 6:35
| The complaint said that the boys were 12 and 13 at the time. Steve feels if this happened to him at that age he would have been able to handle it and wouldn't have been scarred. It was a woman. |
| 6:36
| The two students attended Monday's hearing. James St. Patrick said he began abusing alcohol and drugs after the incidents. It would have been cool to be named St. Patrick if you went to St. Patrick's School. |
| 6:37
| St. Patrick said he had sexual contact with the nun more than 100 times, beginning when he was in 7th grade. Clearly he was the favorite. |
| 6:38
| 7th grade would have been the perfect time for Steve. He was always fantasizing about his teachers, regardless of what they looked like. Buzz recalls that 7th grade was the first time a girl put her tongue in his mouth. |
| 6:39
| Giannini said St. Patrick was a boy who delivered papers to the convent on his route! Oh hello! Steve could have really used that on his paper route. |
| 6:40
| There was one woman on Steve's paper route who always came to the door half-naked. He never knew what to do. It seems unfair to not make the first move if you're the half-naked, older neighbor lady. She should have invited him in and asked him to take his pants off. |
| 6:41
| Giannini said she never forced sex on the boys even though they were below the age of consent. She thought she was in love with both of them, which is nice. |
| 6:42
| Buzz saw some video of the nun, she's not a looker. The only hot nun Steve ever saw was The Flying Nun and she wasn't a real nun, she was Gidget. |
| 6:43
| Giannini left Milwaukee in 1969 and returned to her native Chicago. She served at Christ the King then worked at Mother McAuley, Little Flower and Most Holy Redeemer. Catholics have the weirdest names for schools. |
| 6:44
| Steve could have really used something like this when he was in 7th grade. He would have worked really hard to be the kid who was with her 100 times. Buzz is trying to think of some of the situations he got himself into that were scarring. Everyone is scarred. |
| 6:45
| These guys are probably going to sue the church too right? |
| 6:46
| She does sort of look like Chachi or Rod Blagojevich. Buzz thinks she looks like Roman Polanski. |
| 6:53
| Mary Kay Letourneau is leading the Dahl.com poll but Steve feels that's a mistake. Debora LaFave is hot and she'd have sex with you in your car while your friend drove you to Busch Gardens. |
| 6:54
| Mary Kay Letourneau was a one-woman man too. They're now happily married and that dude got butt-ugly. |
| 6:55
| LaFave is just hot, why was she messing around with young guys? She should be going for an older guy. Those kids were probably just as excited to be going to Busch Gardens on a school day as they were to be having sex with her. |
| 6:56
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 6:57
| George Governor Sonny Perdue is going to meet with lawmakers on the steps of their Capital building and pray for rain. Sonny Perdue sounds like the name of a morning DJ on a country music station. |
| 6:58
| Is praying really going to work? Don't you think someone probably tried praying already? Why not do a rain dance, coupled with some cloud seeding. |
| 7:00
| Are they still releasing water downstream for the freshwater mussels and sturgeon? Who would want to eat freshwater mussels? Mussels are the port-a-potties of shellfish. |
| 7:01
| Four Chicago-area organ recipients have contracted HIV. That seems sort of loose doesn't it? On the news last night they said that the guy who donated the organs must have only recently contracted HIV at the time, so it didn't show up on the screening. Buzz is almost a medical doctor. |
| 7:02
| Today is the day when the body of Drew Peterson's third wife is exhumed. Kathleen Savio's body was found in a waterless bath tub. |
| 7:03
| If Drew Peterson did in fact kill his third wife, and Steve's not saying he did, and got away with it, why would he kill his fourth wife, if he did? He was 47 nailing a 17-year old! And she was cute too! |
| 7:04
| The plastic surgeon who operated on Kanye West's mother before she died said he performed a breast reduction and a tummy tuck and did nothing wrong. There's also another doctor who said he refused to do the surgery because she had a condition. |
| 7:05
| There's new concern over the distribution of over $500,000 of donated legal funds in the Jena Six case after a picture surfaced of one of the students laying on a bed, covered in money, bills stuffed in his mouth. Don't people know how dirty money is? |
| 7:06
| Was it 1981 that Carol Marin did the Super Rat story? Steve doesn't remember the year. It was a great story though, all the rats were the size of dogs. Well some things never change, NBC is doing another report about rats, with Carol Marin. They're not the size of dogs though. |
| 7:07
| Buzz has the promo from NBC but Carol Marin isn't mentioned. She made her bones on the rat story but she probably doesn't want to be mentioned now. |
| 7:08
| Channel 2 is doing a lot of unusual investigative reporting lately. Steve's seen it all since he now just sits home all day watching TV. He's like a shut-in! |
| 7:09
| Dave Savini is behind a lot of them and they're very similar to the report he did on hotel rooms. Steve still really can't get a decent night's sleep in a hotel room. |
| 7:10
| None of the network news shows are in HD. What's the point of having an HD if the news isn't in HD? What is that?! |
| 7:11
| Also channel 2 and channel 5 doesn't have local news in HD. What's that all about? Almost everyone has HD now. |
| 7:12
| Steve can't knowingly watch standard definition news when ABC is in HD. And that channel 2 set is the worst. It looks like they're doing the news from a table at Denny's. |
| 7:13
| If you watch all the news on ABC from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM there is nothing new on the 10:00 PM news. |
| 7:14
| Also, all the stations should get together and do the stories at the same time. Steve was trying to avoid the story about the missing Southside girl. It's not that he doesn't care though. |
| 7:15
| Buzz wonders how they decide which missing kid story to go with. It's all about the good video. As a cub reporter in Miami Buzz actually had to steal a photo of a missing kid from the parent's house. Nothing has changed. |
| 7:21
| Steve wrote that last Jack promo that just played "want some ham with your sausage?" The one that was going to air was "Steve has a face for radio" which is unfair because Steve is quite handsome. He feels that's Todd Cavanah being mad because he's not the handsomest. Mary actually wrote that one, when did she start hating Steve? |
| 7:22
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 7:23
| Steve will be at The Little Guys on Saturday and then the big Dahlfins gig that night at Durty Nellie's. |
| 7:24
| Steve's not sure what he'll do with the time in between. Maybe he'll take a nap or go get a massage. He usually falls asleep during the massage anyway. Those are the perfect naps because they're short. That's the Einstein nap! |
| 7:25
| Steve's never sure how long he naps for. He's watching TV and he falls asleep but when he wakes up again the TV is still on. |
| 7:26
| Pat Boyle is on the phone. You probably could have napped during the Bears game, up until the last 3 minutes. |
| 7:27
| Steve and the boys watched the game at the ESPNZone in a special area where people broadcast from. There was a cabinet with mics locked up in it and a mixing board. Steve felt right at home. |
| 7:28
| The boys were up very late on Saturday night so there was a lot of napping going on at ESPNZone. |
| 7:29
| Steve is hearing a drilling noise, those guys are back and they're right outside the studio window. You would think someone in the building would tell them that there's only a live show on this floor from 5:30-10:00 AM. |
| 7:30
| So there was napping going on at the ESPNZone but Steve was mostly irritated because the Bears were playing so poorly. Also you had to spend a certain amount of money to be in this room but everyone was hungover and didn't want to drink. |
| 7:31
| They wanted to drink water which is a mistake, it just reactivates the alcohol in your system. You're better off sticking with beer. |
| 7:32
| Then they ordered some Tailgate Platters which had some great-looking onion rings. Steve never got a chance to eat any because everyone dug in right away. |
| 7:33
| Then Steve ordered some more onion rings and sliders and no one ate anything else because they were hungover. |
| 7:34
| Even after all that they hadn't spent enough to be in the room so they had to order some ESPNZone commemorative beer mugs. |
| 7:35
| The big question for Lovie Smith this week is what happens with the QB. He didn't really give Brian Griese a ringing endorsement if his shoulder is healthy. |
| 7:36
| Steve's not against Brian Griese playing though. One thing he did notice on Sunday was that Rex Grossman's teammates seemed genuinely happy for him. They might just be looking for anything good to rally around. |
| 7:37
| Even Urlacher seemed jacked for him. Of course we said the same thing about Brian Griese. He and Grossman are almost mirror images of each other. |
| 7:38
| Don't a lot of colleges go with two QBs? Why don't we try that? |
| 7:39
| Buzz thought the Bears would want to get Grossman in there and see how he does because of his contract situation. Pat thinks the Bears have already made up their mind about that. |
| 7:40
| Steve would love to see Orton come in and do really well. He won 10 games 2 years ago but a lot of them were ugly wins. Steve still doesn't get why we can't get Tony Romo. He's from around here. |
| 7:41
| Seattle is up next and they threw the ball around a lot last night so it could be a high scoring game. |
| 7:42
| Steve doesn't see a happy ending with this QB thing. At least last year the Cowboys had some upside with Tony Romo. |
| 7:43
| Steve can't talk about this QB stuff any more. Between this and the drilling Steve's ready to put a gun to his head. |
| 7:44
| Alright, on to the Bulls, they're also looking for answers. They're 1-5 and getting ready for their circus road trip. Does Pat have any good news? |
| 7:45
| Torii Hunter might be coming to the White Sox and the Cubs got rid of Jacque Jones. Did they trade him because he's French? |
| 7:46
| The Blackhawks play tomorrow against Columbus, they've been the bright spot so far. They're second in their division. Who would have thought a few months ago that the Hawks would be the feel-good sports story in Chicago. |
| 7:47
| There's also U of I, we'll see if we can ride that way. They'll have about 6 weeks off before any bowl games though. |
| 7:48
| And the drilling continues. What did Steve do to deserve this? He could have been paid not to work but instead he's sitting here listening to bad promos about him while some guy drills in the background. |
| 7:52
| So the Cubs traded Jacque Jones for Omar Infante, a Frenchman for a Frenchman. Infante means infant in case Buzz didn't know. |
| 7:53
| Steve is going to turn on all the mics in the studio so people can full enjoy the drilling going on right outside the studio. It sounds like you're at the dentist. |
| 7:54
| They said they were going to stop but Steve doesn't think they will. That's just something they say. |
| 7:55
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:56
| Steve's going to play a tune until the drilling stops. Some Jack music for ya. |
| 7:57
| Song: We Built This City, Starship |
| 8:00
| Steve told Brendan to put a few calls on hold, maybe prime the pump. The only person who called in wanted to say he hated that song. |
| 8:01
| It's way too easy to complain about stuff these days. On both the Tribune and Sun-Times websites you can post a comment about every single article. |
| 8:02
| That being said, Steve's going to open the mailbag and give people a chance to complain. |
| 8:03
| The first email is from Michael who likes to tune in for a few minutes every time Steve changes stations. He thinks that Steve will have to be better than the last time but he's not. |
| 8:04
| Michael is surprised people don't fall asleep listening to Steve but figures they must be used to it. |
| 8:05
| The next emailer wanted to let Steve know that most people in Japan don't speak English. Yesterday Steve was talking about going to Japan. They only speak English at hotels. |
| 8:06
| English is taught in high schools but people only learn to write and read it. That's why you can make a lot of money teaching English in Japan. |
| 8:07
| During the song Brendan came into the studio, pounded on the window, and yelled at the drillers. It was very cute. They just ignored him and kept drilling but he had our backs. |
| 8:08
| The next emailer thinks Steve and Buzz are finding their groove in the morning but was wondering if Brendan could filter out some of the police officers call in lately. The emailer has a strong anti-cop streak and finds it hard to listen. |
| 8:09
| Once again, it's too easy to complain. Who decides they need to write an email about their anti-cop streak? He also added that the flute on Sugar Shack sounds too clean to be a standard wooden flute and might be a keyboard, if they had them back then. |
| 8:10
| Does Steve need to play that song again? He has another email that ties in with it so he probably could. |
| 8:11
| There was a line from the song Steve and Buzz didn't understand about "puttin' on some trash" One of the definitions, of the 8 sent to Steve, of trash is the refuse of sugar cane after the juice has been expressed. So it must tie in with the Sugar Shack |
| 8:12
| Caller Mike thought Jimmy Gilmer did that Bottle of Wine song. Steve can find out if he wants to know. Mike doesn't seem very interested in his own topic which Steve finds alarming. |
| 8:13
| Mike says Steve can do whatever he wants, it's his show. Steve has lost temporary control of his computer so he's trying to find this song. Buzz doesn't think Jimmy Gilmer did Bottle of Wine. |
| 8:14
| Alright Jimmy Gilmer did Bottle of Wine, it's on iTunes. There's also a re-recording of Sugar Shack. It has a different feel to it. |
| 8:15
| Caller Mike had a lot of mood swings during that call. Buzz was a little scared by it. |
| 8:16
| There are a lot of people calling in about Sugar Shack but Steve feels that his analysis of the song is over. |
| 8:17
| OK there's one final email that's a complaint. This woman can't listen any more after Steve made fun of the animals in that oil spill, saying it's not funny. Au contraire! |
| 8:18
| This is the same woman who was all over Steve during the Michael Vick thing. She could have at least used her email address. |
| 8:19
| The emailer doesn't want to hear Steve plead and say he was just joking either. Steve wasn't joking, he doesn't get why they'd spend all that money cleaning these birds. |
| 8:20
| Apparently "I was joking" is the standard "morning radio host defense" and that's in quotes. This woman broke up with Steve during the Michael Vick thing anyway. |
| 8:21
| All Steve said about Michael Vick was that he should get a trial at least. That was right at the beginning when he lost all his endorsement gigs. |
| 8:22
| Actually Steve has one more mean email, might as well read it if he has them. It's sort of like self-flagellation. |
| 8:23
| The final emailer can't believe Steve said Kid Rock was full of himself. You can probably see where this is going. When Steve said that he should go to Hawks games so they'd have better celebrities it was a joke. |
| 8:24
| Steve is thinking of going to Hawks games though, he needs to find something to do in the afternoons. |
| 8:25
| The emailer goes on to say that Steve, like he said about Kid Rock, is famous for being famous. Steve does a radio show everyday! |
| 8:26
| Then the emailer says that the last time Steve sold out a stadium was 28 years ago. That's not true, Steve never sold out a stadium. |
| 8:27
| If you're going to call someone conceited you should at least spell it correctly. Finally the emailer says he loves the show, keep up the good work on Jack. He'll now be downloading Kevin Matthews for his trip home. |
| 8:33
| OK just one more thing about Sugar Shack. The band used something called an Solovox, which was a type of keyboard, in the song. Buzz doesn't need to hear that song again for a while. |
| 8:34
| Live read: Comcast |
| 8:35
| Caller Joanne welcomes Steve and Buzz to the mornings, how are things going for them? Things are going fine. Steve went to bed at 10:30 last night and when his alarm went off at 4:00 AM he didn't know where he was. |
| 8:36
| Buzz is surprised at how easy it has been for him to keep this schedule so far. The only problem Steve's having is finding something to do in the afternoons. |
| 8:37
| With the afternoon show at least you could fake like the entire beginning of the day was preparing for the show. |
| 8:38
| Joanne wanted Steve to ignore that emailer complaining about what he said about the oil-covered birds. |
| 8:39
| Steve wasn't worried about it. It's not like he rethought anything he said. He's not going to resign his position as a morning show host after reading an email outlining what he said. |
| 8:40
| Joanne wants Steve do start doing shows at 115 Bourbon Street, near her house. Steve doesn't really want to start his day off doing a show at a bar. |
| 8:41
| Caller Tracy wants to know what happened to Steve's musical career. Years ago her and her ex had one of Steve's CDs and he got it in the break-up. Steve's CDs are available at Dahl.com and he's got a concert this Saturday. |
| 8:42
| Steve's working on re-recording some of his songs though, they have an 80s feel to them. |
| 8:43
| Tracy had the feel of someone who hasn't listened in a while but is a Jack listener so he didn't mind explaining himself. |
| 8:44
| Caller Cheryl was listening earlier when Steve opened the mailbag. There was a guy complaining about too many police officers calling in. Cheryl likes cops but she's not a cop. |
| 8:45
| The cops like Steve though. There's a website called SecondCityCops.com where cops vent about their job a lot of guys on there talk about Steve. |
| 8:46
| Steve wasn't going to stop taking phone calls from cops just because of that email. He only reads those letters because they're amusing. He's not going to change what he does because of some email. He's been doing this since he was 15, he knows what he's doing. |
| 8:53
| Steve doesn't mind waking up at 4:00 AM and coming into work with a purpose. The only thing that really bugs him is the dogs don't get up. They're too lazy to get up and they look at Steve like he's crazy. You'd think they could get up and come downstairs with their master. It's not like they have jobs, they're just going to sleep all day. Maybe if Steve went down there and made it sound like he was making food they'd come down. |
| 8:54
| Buzz has a cab that comes to pick him up at 5:00 AM and it's a real luxury. It's almost like having a limo. It's a different guy everyday, Buzz just ordered a cab from Flash for 5:00 AM. |
| 8:55
| That is like a limo only it's a lot cheaper. Good for him. It's like has his own Town Car only it's white and has writing on the side. |
| 8:56
| It's early in the morning, no one even notices that. It might as well be a town car It has the divider right? |
| 8:57
| Buzz just sits there in the back sipping his coffee which he makes at home. He's enjoying the whole thing even though it's so much different. He really doesn't have a night life any more. |
| 8:58
| When Buzz used to do mornings he'd stay up until 3:00, sleep for an hour or so and then get up and do the show. Steve used to to that in his drinking days only without the hour of sleep. |
| 8:59
| Steve doesn't mind it but he's not drinking coffee, he's sticking with the sugar-free Red Bull. Steve's right in the middle of an energy drink war. |
| 9:00
| Last week someone from Red Bull called in and said they'd send him a supply of Red Bull along with a Red Bull fridge. That hasn't come yet but when he was coming down from the office to the studio there were several cases of Monster energy drink war. |
| 9:01
| It occurred to Steve that he could profit from this war but they're going to need to up the stakes. He can afford to buy his own energy drinks, they need to give him money. |
| 9:02
| News with Buzz |
| 9:03
| Things are not shaping up well in Pakistan. The opposition leader has been put under house arrest. She's not calling for the resignation of President Musharraf. He's a dictator though isn't he? |
| 9:04
| He was elected but he has since put the country under Martial Law. What about Marshall Field's, do they have those? Steve's heading over there today to buy socks. |
| 9:05
| That's such kismet, Buzz is also buying socks today. Does he want to go with Steve? That would probably be weird, the two of them trying socks on. |
| 9:06
| This morning in New York police officers shot an 18-year old armed with a hairbrush. |
| 9:07
| It says in Steve's research, which is Mark Czerniec, that Musharraf came to power in the wake of a coup. So that's probably why this woman coming back is nothing but trouble. That's why you have to whack people. If you're going to do a coup you need to get rid of the other person. |
| 9:08
| Steve's not saying it's right though. Buzz feels Musharraf is just coming into his own as a dictator. Maybe he would do it differently if he had to do it over again. |
| 9:09
| A California plastic surgeon says he performed two surgeries on Kanye West, a breast reduction and a tummy tuck, and says he did nothing wrong. It doesn't seem like this guy should be talking. |
| 9:10
| As we speak authorities are exhuming the body of Drew Peterson's third wife, Kathleen Savio. In the meantime the search is still on for his fourth wife, Stacy Peterson. What if they find Stacy in with the third wife? That thought did cross Buzz's mind. |
| 9:11
| Boy George has been charged with false imprisonment after he chained a man to a wall in his house. He just calls that dating though. |
| 9:12
| In one final celebrity note, Heather Mills says she has evidence that Paul McCartney took Viagra, took blame for their divorce and made fun of her disability. |
| 9:13
| Steve doesn't really care if Paul McCartney takes Viagra. There's nothing he can really do, short of something illegal, that would affect his popularity. |
| 9:21
| Caller Lisa lives in Plainfield. She's not Lisa Stebic though. How great would it be if Steve found her? It'd be great for the show and he'd get the $77,000 reward. |
| 9:22
| Steve saw that Lisa's family has put up some billboards in the Upper Peninsula with Lisa's picture on them. They also put her picture on hand warmers that hunters use to keep warm. |
| 9:23
| If a hunter came across a body wouldn't he or she report it anyway? It's probably just a way to annoy Craig Stebic which is fine with Steve. |
| 9:24
| That's not why Lisa called in though. She has not been able to make her bed since she started working early in the morning because he dog won't wake up. |
| 9:25
| Steve's dogs also won't get up when he goes downstairs at 4:00 AM. He's personally offended that his dogs don't come downstairs with him. They won't even get on all fours, they just raise their heads up and give him a look that says "C'mon, turn the lights off!" |
| 9:26
| A man in southern India married a female dog, also called a bitch, in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death. He's like the Michael Vick of India. |
| 9:27
| This is a story from the AP too, Steve's not making it up. There's a picture of the guy with the dog and everything. |
| 9:28
| The man married a stray dog selected by his family. He said he has been cursed for the last 15 years after he stoned and then strong up two dogs from a tree. He really is the Michael Vick of India. |
| 9:29
| No word on if the man's situation has improved. How can it, he's married to a dog. Deeply superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings between people and animals to ward off certain curses. Plus you can make a great website out of it. |
| 9:30
| That's some primitive stuff right there. Marrying a dog to take your curse away?! Do you divorce the dog if you meet a woman? Or can you have more than one wife over there? |
| 9:31
| The odds are he won't meet a girl since he's married to a dog. That's probably a turn-off but you never know. |
| 9:32
| In other animal news, Steve saw Paris Hilton was speaking out on behalf of drunken elephants. |
| 9:33
| Conservationists applauded Hilton, who was convicted of drunk driving early this year, for bringing attention to the problem of binge-drinking elephants in India. |
| 9:34
| This is like our India News segment. Speaking of that, the White Hen by Steve just closed. Not that there were ever Indian guys in there. They were bought out by 7-11. Steve would mind seeing a strip club go in there. |
| 9:35
| Last month 6 wild elephants broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya, began drinking homemade rice beer and then uprooted an electricity pylon, electrocuting them. |
| 9:36
| Four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. Paris says this happens all the time and that we need to stop making alcohol available to elephants. |
| 9:37
| There was a story Buzz saw about how she was suing a greeting card company for using her likeness in a card. She said they had |
| 9:38
| Elephant alcohol abuse is just part of a deeper problem according to the head of Nature's Beckon, a regional conservation group. Elephants appear on human settlements because they have no habitat left. |
| 9:39
| There are probably so many elephants because of all the do-gooders. It's just like all the squirrels and rabbits by Steve. There's nothing you can do about them. Steve hired a guy to trap them but he's like Carl Spackler from Caddyshack. |
| 9:40
| Caller Bob wanted to let Steve know that all the White Hens are switching to 7-11. Steve wouldn't mind a 7-11 by his house, he could stop and get a breakfast sandwich. |
| 9:41
| 7-11 is getting rid of the delis in White Hens. That's fine with Steve, he's not buying a sandwich from White Hen. There's always some kid behind the counter talking to his friends or outside smoking. He can't wash your hands enough for Steve. |
| 9:42
| Hallmark has sent a motion to dismiss a lawsuit Paris filed against the greeting card company. Hallmark put out a card with cartoon body of a skinny girl with her face as the head. The caption said "that's hot" |
| 9:43
| In the motion to dismiss Hallmark claims she's become a household name based on her efforts to draw attention to herself. That has opened her up to the parodists pen. |
| 9:44
| Paris Hilton copyrighted the phrase "that's hot" which was used in the card. Hallmark can't win this though. You can't put her picture on the card as well as a phrase she owns. |
| 9:45
| Apparently Janet doesn't have the new hotline number but she was trying to call in to say that the White Hen by them will not become a 7-11. However the gas station will beginning selling more food. |
| 9:46
| So maybe the White Hen will become a strip club. Or how about a topless juice bar? |
| 9:51
| Steve wasn't kidding when he said that guy who trapped the squirrels for him was like Carl Spackler. He trapped the squirrels and then you had to talk to him about everything that went down. That being said he was very effective. |
| 9:52
| Steve might have set a bad precedence with the guy because in their first conversation he actually listened to everything that went down because he was so fascinated. |
| 9:53
| He might have taken that the wrong way and wanted Steve to get his trapping license. Steve wouldn't mind doing that though but he wouldn't know what to do with the squirrels when he caught them. You can't kill them. Steve has a BB gun but he also has very noisy neighbors. |
| 9:54
| Steve had a Larry David moment the other day. By the way, did Buzz see the finale of Curb? No one even knows if that's the last one because he always mulls it over before coming back. Steve calls down to the newsroom. |
| 9:55
| Jim saw the last Curb, as did Pete. Steve liked it but he felt there were two loose ends that he never tied up. Pete heard Larry David was considering doing two more seasons of Curb. |
| 9:56
| There's a girl who lives on Steve's street who's handicapped. Every morning the bus stops in front of their house at 7:20 and honks the horn, which woke Steve up. |
| 9:57
| Steve tried, in the nicest way possible, to make that stop. But now that he's waking up at 4:00 AM he didn't think it would be a problem. |
| 9:58
| Turns out the bus driver does an even longer honk at 3:00 in the afternoon when he drops the girl off. Steve doesn't really know how to ask them to stop since it's a handicapped girl. |
| 9:59
| Steve thought about pulling the bus driver aside because he's seen him in the neighborhood on his run. But halfway through thinking about what he should say he realizes he probably can't say anything. |
| 10:00
| So now Steve is going to try to make it work for him. He's going to schedule it so he wakes up from his nap when the bus comes by. |
