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| 5:33
| Steve and Buzz were banging their heads to Bohemian Rhapsody, like in Wayne's World. Steve authorized that song running late even though he doesn't understand how it's |
| 5:34
| Steve can talk, play the commercials, rock un poquito and be done at exactly 10:00 but he's a professional. It would have ended on time if we went with Pet Shop Boys, but Steve can't in good conscience start the day with them. |
| 5:35
| Steve doesn't know who the Pet Shop Boys are but they seem gay. Queen is gay but it's an upfront, in-your-face gay. It's handlebar mustaches, jumpsuits with suspenders and tight Spandex crotches. |
| 5:36
| Steve is always amazed that Queen was able to come up with the music they came up with. How do you sit down and write that and then bring it to the studio? Buzz thinks that being gay and British is a prerequisite. |
| 5:37
| It's not just like writing verse, chorus, verse, bridge. It has all that but more too. It is good though. Wasn't Freddie Mercury one of the first famous people to die from AIDS? |
| 5:38
| Today we have another Drew Peterson interview, it's from Good Morning America. |
| 5:39
| Drew's first wife said she doesn't think he's capable of killing anyone. She's probably just happy she got out alive. |
| 5:40
| They've called off the search for Stacy over the Thanksgiving holiday. You don't want to search during Thanksgiving, you want to be near your family. Unless someone in your family is missing. |
| 5:41
| The people searching for Stacy should ask all the touch football players to keep an eye out for her, just like Lisa Stebic's family was asking hunters to look for her. |
| 5:42
| Buzz saw that Drew Peterson referred to himself as a media darling. Steve saw him posing on his deck with some lights and screens for a People Magazine photo shoot. |
| 5:43
| When Steve was writing his blog last night he wondered if Drew had an above-ground pool. Upon further review, he does have one. To Steve that conveys the care-free life of a Parrothead. Plus whenever he moves on to the next girl, he could lose the house in a divorce but keep the pool. The above ground pool is moveable. |
| 5:44
| There are also some great photos on the Tribune website of Drew mugging for the camera, one of which is up on Dahl.com. He's got a nice Charmglow grill. He also has a nice hose caddy which he would wheel in the garage if the police stopped searching it. |
| 5:45
| Drew went with the redwood stain of the deck which might have been a mistake. It's a bit too dark and as times change certain woods go in and out of favor. He should have gone with something lighter to match the pool. |
| 5:46
| Since the cops ain't got nothing on Drew it looks like he'll be staying in this house. That's the house where Stacy went through her final teenage years and then became a woman, fully-growed and wanted to divorce him every time she had her period. . |
| 5:54
| About two minutes into that birthday greeting song Buzz said "Is it your birthday today?" It is, hence the Hawaiian shirt decorations on the window. |
| 5:55
| Buzz thought those were for Christmas. Last night Buzz's house was transformed for Christmas, there are tons of festive creatures everywhere. |
| 5:56
| Drew Peterson's mom Betty Morphey believes Stacy left her son and two children and ran off with another man. Morphey is ashamed that Stacy put her family through this. |
| 5:57
| Morphey is also heartbroken when people insinuate that her son could hurt anyone. He wouldn't hurt a fly! There was a nice side-by-side comparison of Drew and the Cowardly Lion, it's uncanny! |
| 5:58
| Stacy's family believes she would have never left her children and fear she's dead. So we've got a family feud shaping up here. It would make a great reality show. |
| 5:59
| The reality show would probably be better for after this is over, when everything blows over and Drew can go back to being Drew. Maybe head down to the Caribbean for a week and chill out like in a Corona beer commercial. |
| 6:00
| All mother's believe their sons wouldn't hurt anyone. Even John Wayne Gacy's mom thought that. |
| 6:01
| Morphey feels that Stacy was just too young for her son because of the 30-year age difference. That's Buzz Kilman plus 50%. Neil Steinberg wrote a lengthy column about how most older guys are probably jealous that he got a woman 30 years younger than him. |
| 6:02
| Technically though, if you believe Drew, he couldn't hold on to her so Steve has to take off some points for that. |
| 6:03
| Drew keeps saying how it's unfortunate that his third wife's kids have to see their mother exhumed on TV. First of all, the TV doesn't have to be on. And it's not like her skeleton is dancing around. That coffin stayed surprisingly white though through all these years. |
| 6:04
| Drew's also upset that Savio's resting in peace has been disrupted. This all seems to be stuff we know already in the Sun-Times article. |
| 6:05
| Should Steve go on or should we do headlines? Everything in here is old but yet it feels new again. |
| 6:06
| Morphey said she didn't know about any allegations of adultery leveled by Drew's ex-wives. |
| 6:07
| Isn't the adultery the one thing everyone can agree on? Except his mom of course, she doesn't know anything about that. |
| 6:08
| Morphey also says she's lost weight throughout this entire ordeal. So the entire family is trimming down. |
| 6:09
| Earlier in the broadcast Steve referred to his blog which hasn't been posted by Ed yet. Sometimes if Steve sends it too early Ed misses it. It'll be up shortly though. |
| 6:10
| Maybe Ed doesn't want to post the blog because it's outdated. In the blog Steve wondered if Drew Peterson had an above-ground pool but we now know that he does. |
| 6:11
| There's a guy on hold who wanted to wish Steve a happy birthday. He doesn't want to take birthday calls all day though. He'd also rather have one from a girl than a dude. |
| 6:12
| Caller Neal is on his way to work right now and it's taking a while. Steve is amazed at how much traffic there is at 4:30 in the morning. It's like coming downtown in the middle of the day. |
| 6:13
| Steve sort of took the wind out of Neal's sails by saying what his phone call was about. It's just awkward when dude's wish each other happy birthday. Neal could talk like a girl if Steve would prefer that. |
| 6:20
| Steve's available to write jokes for Drew Peterson. He tried to make a joke about being thankful that he didn't have enough turkey for the reporters at Thanksgiving but it wasn't working out. |
| 6:21
| Not every joke is going to be a gem but you have to bail out gracefully. He did transition to being thankful for his kids, using them as a shield. |
| 6:22
| Apparently Ed Silha was having "HUGE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES" which is why he couldn't post the blog. Steve thinks he just woke up late and that's his excuse. |
| 6:23
| The blog is up now though, Steve's sorry that Ed was having trouble. Has Buzz heard about power outages? |
| 6:24
| Does Buzz want to do any h-lines now? That's what Steve is calling the headlines to make it hipper. |
| 6:25
| Barack Obama is now leading Hillary Clinton in Iowa polls. He's also saying students will be able to go to college for free if he's President. But he's only referring to junior college. Isn't that free already? |
| 6:26
| Astronaut and Lombard native Dan Tani, aboard the ISS, performed a spacewalk today. |
| 6:27
| Police in Brazil found the body of American basketball player Tony Harris hanging from a tree by his shoelaces. Authorities believe it was suicide but Harris' family said he called them and said he didn't feel safe. That's a good commercial for those shoelaces. Do we know who Tony Harris is? |
| 6:28
| Brendan thinks he was a college player who went to the CBA and then played in other countries. What's the deal with Brendan's hair today, it's standing straight up. He looks like JFK just after he was shot. |
| 6:29
| Brendan took a shower this morning but then threw on a winter hat which made his hair stand up. He sort of went overboard with the winter cap didn't he? It's about 70º out. |
| 6:30
| Heather Mills is urging people to drink rat's milk and dog's milk in an effort to help save the planet. What? Rat's milk? How do you even milk a rat? |
| 6:31
| Mills blames emissions from livestock for contributing to global warming. What about rats though, wouldn't their emissions be just as bad considering what the eat? |
| 6:32
| Buzz is recommending Ratatouille to Steve, it's great! Steve likes cartoons but without any little kids in the house he can't really walk into Best Buy and bring that DVD home. The last time he did that the boys, the very kids he used to take to see cartoons, made fun of him. |
| 6:33
| Buzz has some photos of Steve from the early 80's. He has some sort of clashing Hawaii shirt look going. He had several shirts and matching pants made of the same Hawaii-themed fabrics. He also had a 3-piece Hawaiian suit made and in one photo he's wearing several different patterns. |
| 6:34
| Garry has a lumberjack look going. One of the photos is from a show down at U of I. Steve and Garry went to a party at the house of the Live Earl Jive who was one of Steve's childhood heroes. |
| 6:35
| They had pot brownies at the party and Garry ate about 10 of them, not knowing there was pot in there. Jive's wife, Beverly Hills, told Steve that Garry better stop eating the brownies. Then Garry spent the next 4 hours telling Steve that his entire left side was numb. |
| 6:36
| The next day, a Sunday, Steve and Garry were booked into a show at some bar at U of I. Unfortunately it was final's week so there were less than a hundred kids there. That left the dance floor open for the guy in the electric wheelchair to spend the entire show spinning around. |
| 6:37
| As you can imagine Steve decided to just finish himself off. He can probably get these pictures up on Dahl.com though. There's one where Steve has an Elvis-just-before-he-died look but the good news is he looks much healthier today. |
| 6:38
| Song: You Get What You Give, New Radicals |
| 6:41
| We never really heard from that band after that song. It's always on Jack promos so Steve thought he'd give it a spin. |
| 6:42
| Does the sun ever come up any more? What's going on? Are we hobbits or something? Did the sun forget to wake up like Ed Silha? Maybe the power went out in the sun's condo. |
| 6:43
| President Bush will pardon two turkeys from the Ten Star Ranch turkey farm in Southern Indiana. Isn't that the name of a whorehouse? |
| 6:44
| The two turkeys will be pardoned and then flown to Disney World to act as Grand Marshall's of the Thanksgiving Day parade. |
| 6:45
| Disney is everywhere these days. Steve still doesn't get why they're involved with the lighting of Chicago's holiday lights. |
| 6:46
| Buzz's daughter goes to a Disney school, he doesn't even get that. Is she taught by Goofy? They do have Disney characters on sweatshirts, which seems like a copyright infringement. Disney is locked into the school though. Are the teachers dressed like Disney characters? Is Piper taught by Mr. Mouse? |
| 6:47
| Don't we learn every year that the pardoned turkeys can't survive because they're not able to support their own wait. They have huge breasts, like Carol Doda. Steve can't think of the modern equivalent of Carol Doda, someone with big breasts. Wasn't she crushed by a piano at a strip club? |
| 6:48
| Today's web poll question is "What kind of Thanksgiving turkey will you be having?" The options are frozen, fresh and tofurkey. Isn't that what Joan Jett eats for Thanksgiving? |
| 6:55
| There's nothing like some Aaron Sorkin political commentary, courtesy of the West Wing. Buzz is surprised to hear drops from that show. |
| 6:56
| Steve's still having a little difficulty with having nothing to do all day after the show. Steve worked out and then went home where his security guy, George was at the house a half hour early. He was told to get there at 1:00 but he can't do what you tell him to do so he got there at 12:30. |
| 6:57
| Steve's having some cameras replaced at the house. Steve dealt with him for a little bit, George follows him around the house like a puppy and wants to talk about radio. |
| 6:58
| Every time George sees Steve he tells him he's a big fan, even though he's known him for 12 years. |
| 6:59
| By "dealing with him" Steve means trying to ignore him since every few minutes he's just standing right in front of him. Steve expects him to be standing there naked one day. |
| 7:00
| George left at 3:00 so that still left the rest of the day. Lately he's been filling his time up by watching Comcast On Demand. Last week he killed two hours watching the unrated version of Knocked Up. |
| 7:01
| Steve was going through all the On Demand categories, getting irritated that Howard Stern had his own channel. What does he need that for? |
| 7:02
| Steve came across a Thanksgiving On Demand category which Pete might want to use for drops. It's mostly stuff from the Food Network so Steve watched a Good Eats about Thanksgiving. |
| 7:03
| Alton Brown was talking about brining a turkey and Steve would keep falling asleep so he'd keep rewinding it. He's not even making a turkey this year! |
| 7:04
| So Pete might want to check out the Thanksgiving On Demand channel. We've still got the big show tomorrow so he can use the drops then. |
| 7:05
| Pete will check it out. He always sees there are uncut Jerry Springer episodes on there. Steve's watched a few of those, they're not that much different. You get to see the breasts of the really ugly white trash chicks, that's about it. |
| 7:06
| Steve keeps getting calls from a telemarketer and he usually doesn't answer them. If he tries to take a nap though it invariably wakes him up. |
| 7:07
| Occasionally Steve answers the phone but since it's a computer it takes about 5 seconds to connect you to an actual person, which is an interesting concept. The person is calling for Matt Dahl but when Steve tells the guy he doesn't live there any more he hangs up which is irritating. |
| 7:08
| The guy's not on hold long enough for Steve to tell him to stop calling. He does have all the times of the phone calls written down so he's going to give Adam his phone records and get him on it. |
| 7:09
| Steve's going to have him complain to Lisa Madigan. The only thing about that telemarketing law is that they can keep calling if you have dealings with them and for some reason Matt Dahl signed up to do marketing research. |
| 7:10
| Steve also called Ron Lewis and asked him to deal with it. Then he called him back 2 hours later and woke Steve up from a nap. So he's having some trouble taking the naps. |
| 7:11
| Buzz feels like he's finally getting used to the new schedule and he's taking naps in the afternoon. He just has to figure out how long to nap for. |
| 7:12
| Steve thinks Adam can get this fixed though, he's very tenacious. Steve's calling down to Adam's office but he's not in there yet. Who's office is he in now? Is it Dan Falato's old office? |
| 7:13
| Adam is in Dan's office but the furniture is all piled up in the middle of the room. Would Adam like him to move the furniture? Adam tried to do it and it was very heavy so he called someone from the building. |
| 7:14
| Steve thinks he can move the furniture and he's going to do it during the next break. Now it's a challenge for him. Does Adam think he could take Steve? Because that Jack board-op thinks he could take Steve. |
| 7:15
| Buzz remembers Kevin, from yesterday, saying not to corner him. He still thinks Steve could take the kid even though he's never seen him. Buzz knows Steve is a good softball pitcher and he lifts weight. |
| 7:16
| Is Adam really not going to let Steve move that furniture? It's been in the center of the room for 2 weeks now. |
| 7:17
| Live read: Balance for Life |
| 7:18
| Steve accidentally had a donut from Dinkel's this morning. Buzz also saw a cake in there but Steve's pretending like he didn't see that. Buzz has one 45 minute nap and he's running roughshod here! |
| 7:19
| Steve and Buzz might be competing for the same donut. Steve had one removed from the inventory after he saw Buzz cherry picking the donut box, under the guise of preparing news! |
| 7:20
| Buzz remembers the last time he had a Dinkel's cake. Was that only three weeks ago? We got Drew a cake on the last day at WCKG. He's still broken up about the whole thing. |
| 7:21
| Drew was at the Durty Nellie's show on Saturday, dancing his fool ass off. Actually Steve can't really see anything from the stage but he knows Drew likes to rock. |
| 7:22
| Steve was talking about Carol Doda earlier, she retired from stripping in 1986 and now runs a lingerie boutique in San Francisco. She was not crushed by a piano. |
| 7:23
| Before Doda retired from dancing at the Condor Club another stripper and a bouncer decided to have sex on top of a piano in the club, after hours. The hydraulic system that raised and lowered the piano was accidentally activated, pinning the two on the ceiling. The bouncer was crushed to death and the stripper laid beneath him until the janitor discovered them. |
| 7:29
| In the future when telemarketers call the house asking for Matt Steve should just tell them it's him and then deal with it. |
| 7:30
| Steve's not sure if he wants to say he's Matt because he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into. Why didn't he give his own number instead of Steve's? Steve thinks it's some sort of Nielsen survey, which Steve told him not to do since he's in broadcasting. No one listens to Steve. |
| 7:31
| These are some great donuts from Dinkel's. Buzz had to curb his enthusiasm for the donuts because they're just sitting in the kitchen. If they're in the kitchen he'll be tempted to eat them. |
| 7:32
| Alright we've got the Drew Man on GMA right now, Steve's going to go back a bit to get the full intro. Steve doesn't like when they show the bug-eyed picture of Stacy Peterson. He likes the one where Drew's in the Hawaiian shirt. He probably gave them the bug-eyed photo because it makes her look crazy. |
| 7:33
| The photo of Drew in the Hawaiian shirt is the best photo of both of them. He doesn't look like the Cowardly Lion for starters. |
| 7:34
| Steve loves the Parrothead, he's just wasting away in Bolingbrook, look for his lost wife. |
| 7:35
| Drew says Stacy was always either menstruating, hungry or tired. Like all broads, right Buzz? |
| 7:36
| Drew says he puts more faith in the first autopsy of his third wife. Of course he does, it exonerates him! That's his favorite autopsy. |
| 7:37
| Did Buzz know that Drew bought Stacy her boobs? Steve has a tape of that if Buzz would like to hear it. |
| 7:38
| That tape is from the yet-to-be-aired Dateline interview. When are we going to hear that? At least in this GMA interview he's not all lawyered up. |
| 7:39
| Drew got Stacy a boob job, braces, Lasik surgery and hair removal. Don't even go there with the hair removal Buzz! You can probably figure out what that means! Drew's a Parrothead, you know what they like. |
| 7:40
| Drew prefers the first autopsy of his third wife because it was fresh. Fresh FM should put that audio into a promo. |
| 7:41
| Has Drew mentioned the menstrual cycles yet? Every broad has one and Stacy got really cranky when she was having one. |
| 7:42
| Steve's getting a lot of weird emails from people who know too much about Drew. Someone looked up his email address because he's in a Harley club. |
| 7:43
| Steve also got an email from a guy who worked in Bolingbrook and converted their computer system but he didn't like Drew. |
| 7:44
| The guy said Drew was trying to hit up on a girl that he was trying to go out with. Steve can't get involved with that. Steve doesn't really want to read the emails because it'll just encourage people. |
| 7:51
| The Peterson's are going to have a nice Thanksgiving. They can eat as much as they want because they've all lost weight. |
| 7:52
| OK, Steve has a really weird email relating to the Drew Peterson story. He wants to read it just so people get an idea about the weird stuff that happens to him. |
| 7:53
| The emailer had to install a new computer system in Bolingbrook in the early 80's for the police department. |
| 7:54
| Those Bolingbrook police officers always hassled Steve, because he made fun of them working out of a double wide trailer. They once picked him up and brought him in for unpaid parking tickets. |
| 7:55
| For all Steve knows Drew Peterson could have been one of the arresting officers. He could be listening to the show right now, enjoying Steve's impersonation. |
| 7:56
| Then the email sort of devolves into this guy hating Drew Peterson because he was hitting on some girl he was interested. |
| 7:57
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:58
| Pat Boyle from Comcast Sportsnet is on the phone. He's waiting for the Drew Peterson Townstone Financial testimonial. It seems like he will be moving one of these days. |
| 7:59
| Steve got picked up for unpaid parking tickets but apparently things are a little more relaxed in Bolingbrook now. |
| 8:00
| The whole story of the parking tickets is that Steve used to go to Old Chicago, which was a failed amusement park in Bolingbrook. It was an indoor theme park that looked like Old Chicago and the only people who were ever there were groups of special ed kids, throwing up from all the rides. |
| 8:01
| At the time Steve incorporated magic into his live shows and he was go to the Marshal Brodeen magic shop there. Since no one was ever there Steve used to just park in the fire zone. |
| 8:02
| In one day he got two tickets for parking in the fire zone, which wasn't properly marked, and got hauled in for not paying them. Steve paid his bail and then went to court where he was exonerated. |
| 8:03
| Steve was also arrested for having fireworks. They weren't even his, he got them from someone at a Breakfast Club show and the kid who mowed his lawn ratted him out to his dad who ratted him out to the police. |
| 8:04
| Steve's White Sox are doing some trading, they sent Jon Garland to the Angels. They're not Steve's Sox, not yet anyway. He has sent them a good chunk of money for season tickets though. They're very strict about the deadlines. |
| 8:05
| The Sox freed up some money with the Garland trade and they got Orlando Cabrera in return. The next move for the Sox is expected to be Torii Hunter. Hopefully the trade means they're getting rid of Juan Uribe. |
| 8:06
| Steve hates Juan Uribe. Once you're implicated in a murder in your home country, even if you're not guilty, Steve doesn't want you on his team. |
| 8:07
| Pat assumes that the Bears will be starting Rex Grossman again this week against Denver. |
| 8:08
| It's sort of comical what's going on up at Halas Hall. With all the problems they had on Sunday the quarterback wasn't really one of them. But Lovie still won't say for sure who's starting on Sunday. |
| 8:09
| What time does Pat go to bed at night? Because he's up working at Comcast and then he's up early calling in. |
| 8:10
| Pat went to sleep at 2:00 AM this morning. He might want to try some coffee, he sounds a bit groggy. |
| 8:11
| Steve would like to give Pat a 6:00 AM call and then he can go back to sleep after he hangs up. He'd really like to talk to Pat after he's been up all night drinking or something. |
| 8:12
| Michael Vick entered prison, reporting early. He probably heard the prison served a great Thanksgiving dinner. Those federal prisons are pretty nice. George Ryan is at an omelet station as we speak. |
| 8:13
| Steve has paid 50% of his season ticket costs and the rest is due in February. That's still too early for you to really know what the Sox are going to do next season. |
| 8:14
| That's probably why they want the ticket money early, they need to get that in the bank so they can start spending. |
| 8:15
| Ron Zook was named Big Ten Coach of the Year and Rashard Mendenhall was named Offensive Player of the Year. |
| 8:16
| Rashard Mendenhall, Skokie's own? Steve likes to call him the Skokie Swift, Pat can use that if he wants. |
| 8:17
| Charlie Weis will solicit off-season suggestions from the New England Patriots, his former team. That seems weird. Any time you can name-drop the Patriots you should. He's just trying to buy himself some time. |
| 8:18
| Last night during Monday Night Football the announcers got into something about how Vince Young really opened up to them and talked about how his father was in prison when he was growing up. |
| 8:19
| All the announcers had to comment about it and they all said the exact same things. Steve asked Pete to put together a montage of that. |
| 8:20
| All three announcers said that he opened up to them, unprompted. That makes Steve think it was staged. |
| 8:28
| That drop was a birthday greeting on acid. |
| 8:29
| Live read: Comcast |
| 8:30
| Hey look, it's a birthday cake for Steve! Buzz knows it's a big deal when Regina is in here. |
| 8:31
| Steve didn't know that he knew all these people. Normally they're coming at him with pitchforks and torches. |
| 8:32
| Regina doesn't work for Steve but she is our receptionist. Or is she just the receptionist for Fresh FM and US99? |
| 8:33
| There's a guy who sits downstairs on the 9th floor and answers phones for Jack and B96 and Steve gets a creepy vibe from him. He's not a gay assistant either, he's just some guy who answers the phones. |
| 8:34
| For Buzz's 60th birthday former producer Dan Falato made Brendan put 60 candles on a cake and then had him bring it into the studio. It was just one big fireball, dripping wax. |
| 8:35
| That receptionist downstairs is probably a nice guy but he seems like a lunkhead. Steve gets the gay, fussy assistant though and there are some of them around here. |
| 8:36
| There's a nice photo of the flaming meteor cake on Dahl.com. You can see a teenage Brendan Greeley bringing the cake in. |
| 8:37
| There seem to be some intermittent phone issues today which Steve is blaming for the lack of calls. |
| 8:38
| Every time the phones go down that engineer stands out there with his arms crossed like I Dream of Jeannie hoping to blink the phones into working. |
| 8:39
| Caller Hope was wondering if Steve could tell her who sings that song, the birthday greeting to Steve. |
| 8:40
| Hope is all business. The song is on a website called Captain Zoom, you just go there and download it. |
| 8:41
| It sounds like Hope is ready to let Steve go. She is going to let him go, she just wanted the song. |
| 8:42
| What was that call? It's like she was calling Nordstrom's to make sure something was in stock and when she had her information she had no use for Steve. |
| 8:49
| Pat Boyle is back on the phone with some late-breaking news. The Blackhawks are expected to announce today that John McDonough will become the new president of the team. |
| 8:50
| So he's leaving the Cubs which seems like a good idea considering they're going to be sold. |
| 8:51
| That's a good move by the Blackhawks because McDonough is a marketing guy. Look what he did for the Cubs. |
| 8:52
| Maybe John McDonough will hire Steve to do play-by-play for the Blackhawks. He probably wouldn't be able to see the puck though. |
| 8:53
| If Steve were John McDonough he'd bring back Pat Foley and pair him up with Eddie Olczyk. |
| 8:54
| Steve's dad is on the phone with birthday greetings. On this day on a cold November morn', Steve decided to make his entry into the world he was born. Is the next word going to be porn here? |
| 8:55
| Steve's mom is also on the phone with birthday greetings. Steve didn't know his dad was going to throw down a tearjerker poem for him. |
| 8:56
| Steve's mom had no idea her husband was so poetic. This is what it's like whenever Steve calls their house, you can just set it and forget it. |
| 8:57
| Steve doesn't have any big plans for today, no beef stroganoff with Caesar salad. He could probably fly out to LA if they want to whip that up for him. |
| 8:58
| Caller Jennifer wanted to wish Steve a happy birthday, especially after hearing that call from the woman who rushed him off the phone. |
| 8:59
| Jennifer is African-American and she's been listening for years. She's had to endure a lot of her friends making fun of her for listening and some of them didn't even know who Steve was at the time. |
| 9:00
| Jennifer also wanted to say that she saw Steve on WGN Morning News a few weeks ago and he looked very cute. Buzz did too. |
| 9:01
| That's what Steve's looking for! That's the love he wants. Not some woman demanding to know some song he played and then letting him go. |
| 9:02
| Live read: Allen Brothers |
| 9:03
| Oprah's Favorite Things show is on as we speak. Look at all these women, they're crazy with greed. You can't hear them shrieking as much becuase they've got the music playing. |
| 9:04
| Look at them all, congratulating themselves and they don't even know what they get. What if all of Oprah's favorite things come from the Dollar Store. |
| 9:05
| Steve would love to see Drew Peterson in that crowd. Look at all those crazy broads! |
| 9:06
| Pete says that Oprah took the show to Macon, Georgia because 40% of the people there watch her show at 4:00. That tells you a lot about the South, if you didn't know it already. |
| 9:07
| Buzz feels this episode is an embarrassment to the human race. For all the charity she talks about, this episode promotes greed. |
| 9:08
| They're all hugging each other. It looks like a back massager convention if you know what Steve means. Now you know why they call it O Magazine. |
| 9:09
| Buzz thinks Oprah's really porking out. Doesn't she know about her thyroid condition? Those Juicy stretch pants look like they're ready to blow and take someone's eye out. Did she eat all of her favorite things? |
| 9:10
| Steve feels bad for all the people going to New York to see plays and musicals because all the theaters are shutdown. The stagehand union is on strike. |
| 9:11
| Some of the producers of the shows actually want the stagehands to be working instead of sitting around and watching TV but they won't have it. |
| 9:12
| OK back to Oprah. Steve likes when the audience acts like they didn't know they were going home with all this stuff. These broads is nuts! How great would it be if Stacy Peterson was in the crowd? |
| 9:13
| The next item is just a pair of Ugg boots. This is where all the women have to pretend to act excited over a pair of boots. Steve actually knew they were Ugg's before she said it. Buzz, take Steve out in the hall and slap some sense into him. |
| 9:14
| They don't even care about the boots, they're probably going to leave them in the parking lot. They don't need Ugg boots in Georgia! |
| 9:15
| Caller Brian is noticing how much Oprah's dialing up the Southern accent. It's like when Barack Obama goes down there. |
| 9:16
| The next item is Oprah's favorite watch but it only costs $150. Wouldn't it be funny if there was a groan throughout the crowd? Last night on ABC7 they said it was the most expensive Favorite Things episode ever. |
| 9:17
| Now she's giving out blenders. As it turns out blenders can mix things up for you, including cake batters. In case you don't have someone to prepare food for you, use the blender. |
| 9:18
| Next is the Planet Earth DVD set which retails for $59. The women are all probably thinking "that's gonna take up room in the bag bitch!" Oprah says that everyone on the planet should have these DVDs. Even the people without TVs? What about the monsoon victims? |
| 9:19
| If there was a Favorite Things episode of the Steve Dahl Show he'd give away Allen Brothers meat. Would people shriek? |
| 9:25
| Steve's saving up the Oprah episode so we can motor through them. There's supposed to be one big item, even bigger than the cars she gave away a few years ago. |
| 9:26
| Remember when she gave everyone those cars and then the people complained because they had to pay taxes on the car. |
| 9:27
| Caller Kathy thought that Oprah would bring down a giant bottle of water for the people of Georgia. It's a good thing we didn't wake up this morning and find Lake Michigan drained so that Oprah could bring down one of her favorite things, water. |
| 9:28
| John McDonough will be the new president of the Blackhawks, it's no longer a rumor. That's going to be great for the Blackhawks. |
| 9:29
| Look at what he did for the Cubs. Wrigley Field wasn't always the tourist attraction that it is now, he was the one who made that happen. |
| 9:30
| Steve's working hard to become a Blackhawks fan. He's got the hat and he's working on trying to get tickets for some games. He's trying to get a hold of Rockwell J. Wirtz but he's very busy. They've got a huge liquor distributorship and a real estate company. |
| 9:31
| Caller Cathy was thinking that the way Oprah brings the audience up and down, first a camera, then boots mirrors the way her weight goes up and down. |
| 9:32
| Buzz has a photo of Oprah taken when she first got here and she looks awful in it. Don't we go through this every time? It's not really a photo of her, it's an impersonator. |
| 9:33
| Buzz is convinced that it's really Oprah. Steve has the photo and it does say "Paul Natkin Studios" on the back so it must be her. We probably have been through this before and Buzz prevailed which is why Steve doesn't want to talk about it. |
| 9:34
| This is a really bad photo of her. She looks like Michael Jackson as the Scarecrow in The Wiz. |
| 9:35
| Cathy won dinner for four at Medieval Times. Steve's never been but he's always pitching the family on spending New Year's there. They always say no but then when New Year's rolls around they regret it. |
| 9:36
| If Steve was doing a Favorite Things show he'd also give away dinner at Medieval Times. He'd much rather go there for New Year's than sitting at home watching Eric & Kathy. |
| 9:37
| They might not even be on this year, Steve's pretty sure they lost their gig to XRT. Steve saw Kathy in the elevator recently but she wasn't all put together yet. |
| 9:38
| Alright, back to Oprah. The next item is actually Oprah's idea. It's not your idea, it's her idea. She loves Kai Body Lotion and she likes stuff that comes in a tub so she asked them to create a body butter for her. She needs a tub of lotion! |
| 9:39
| It's obvious these women could care less about the body butter and the loufa but they'll cheer for it anyway. |
| 9:40
| The next item is a skin care system. It could probably double as a "back massager". It's from the company that makes the Sonicare toothbrush which could also double as a "back massager" |
| 9:41
| She really put on the accent talking about the toothbrush. What's next an O Magazine sponsorship of Nascar? |
| 9:42
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 9:43
| Yesterday Steve mistakenly called it the HES-V100 but it's actually the V1000. It would also be one of his Favorite Things though. |
| 9:48
| Steve knows he just did a Little Guys read but he has another one. He'll try to improvise this one. |
| 9:49
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 9:50
| Steve was going to play the Goo Goo Dolls Broadway but he might not have time. They probably won't settle the stagehand strike by tomorrow. |
| 9:51
| OK, back to Oprah. She's exfoliating herself now, we don't really need to see that. Now she's got some soap. They're from Portugal, they're very clean over there. |
| 9:52
| They didn't even shriek for the soaps, they only cost $42. They're sitting there with calculators thinking that's not enough. |
| 9:53
| The next item is under $25 and it's the book Pillars of the Earth which you can't put down. Why can't you put it down? Is there super glue on the cover? |
| 9:54
| That book isn't like her normal Book Club selections though which Steve doesn't understand. Ken Follett wrote the book and he's very well-known. So that means she doesn't get credit for "discovering" the book. It's not all about her. |
| 9:55
| Oprah invented something called a Love Sandwich which she has her Fed-Ex elves hand out. She makes it for Steadman all the time. Sure she does! She makes her chef do it. Steve can't see her walking around with onions on her hand all day. Next is a panini grill. Did she invent the panini sandwich too? |
| 9:56
| The panini grill is $99 so they're starting to get built back up here. There's something in a big box. Steve thinks it's a port-a-potty. |
| 9:57
| The big item is a refrigerator with a TV in it. Steve feels bad for the black people, they must have less than the white people because they seem to be going more nuts. Guess who's on the TV? Oprah! |
| 9:58
| Steve's going to put the value of the TV at $3,800. Buzz is going to say $4,300. Steve was closest, it's $3,700 and some change. |
| 9:59
| Steve doesn't think that's the big item though. She's also trotting out some hideous looking caftan. It looks like maternity clothes. Also a gold Scrabble set. That's very relatable. |
| 10:00
| The next gift is a box set of 100 DVDs, many of them Academy Award winners. What film company is that from? Steve's going to say Warner Brothers or UA. |
| 10:01
| Is that it then? The car giveaway wasn't part of the Favorite Things giveaway. That's sort of disappointing. |
