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Monday, December 17, 2007

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5:30 That's The Police and whatever that's called. Buzz is guessing Many Miles Away. It's actually Another Industrial Sunset from Synchronicity. That Sting really has a way with the words and the ladies.
5:31 That's Jack music right there, Jackin' it! Did Buzz get any sledding in this weekend?
5:32 Actually the family was snowed in at grandma's house on Saturday so he spent the day watching Japanese horror movies. With a whore? Because that's what Steve would do, especially after the family phoned in a lame "snowed in" excuse.
5:33 Initially Buzz was irritated and he couldn't go get them since they only have one car. But then he thought "how bad is it really" and started up the Japanese horror movies. He also whipped up some Wagyu corned beef hash which he didn't have to share.
5:34 The corned beef hash was fantastic and later in the week Buzz will be making steaks. He just got his package from Allen Brothers. Steve gets a lot of meat over the holidays.
5:35 Ed Silha sent Steve a package of Peter Luger steaks and his insurance agent sent him a huge slab of bacon. This guy is selling Steve life insurance, you think he'd want to send him something healthier.
5:36 Steve's insurance agent is Jewish so he must fulfill his bacon hunger by sending it to Steve, a WASP. The bacon is so big that Steve could cook it as a roast, which he's very tempted to do.
5:37 Steve gets a lot of emails about the Allen Brothers celebrity endorsement page on their website. Steve's not very prominently displayed even though he might be the person who gave them the idea to advertise on the radio.
5:38 They started with Steve and then went national with guys like Rush Limbaugh, which is fine, and also locally with Dan McNeil. He's the guy who stole Chet Coppock's soul.
5:39 Chet went away on vacation and then someone just figured that Dan McNeil did the same show for much cheaper. Now where is Chet at? He's like a valet somewhere or something. He's like the WASP Les Grobstein. Is that the second time Steve has used WASP today?
5:40 Steve got an email from someone who found Steve's page on the Allen Brothers website but was shocked to find that Whoopi Goldberg and Rush Limbaugh had celebrity sampler packs named after them. Who's Art Smith? Is that Oprah's chef? A cow feeding a cow.
5:41 Dan McNeil likes to entertain according to his bio on the Allen Brothers website. Steve knows he likes to drink. The guy sat behind him during the White Sox World Series and he missed every game because he was off smoking or drinking. He'd come back briefly to yell "YOU SUCK" at Konerko, who would then hit a grand slam to tie the game.
5:42 The celebrity list on the Allen Brothers website is listed alphabetically by first name. Steve's not aware of that form of alphabetizing. Buzz sees it in his iTunes, maybe that's something the kids are doing.
5:43 The Jack phone list is alphabetical by first name but there are too many first names. There are two Steves on there, so you have a 50/50 shot of getting the wrong one. Although not really because Steve never answers his phone.
5:44 So Buzz will be pan frying some steaks this week. He also has a few more packages of corned beef hash.
5:50 Steve's been eating poorly for breakfast since he started doing mornings. You wake up at 4 am and it's sort of like you've been out all night drinking and get a burrito the size of your head.
5:51 You think it doesn't matter what you eat that early because you have all day to work it off. So far the working it off hasn't really happened. Steve had two chorizo burritos on Friday which were fantastic.
5:52 Steve's also had some McMuffin's and sausage biscuits. Today he's going to try oatmeal. Oatmeal is good and it lower's cholesterol. They've got an oatmeal bar at Au Bon Pain and one of Steve's people will be going over there soon to report on the ingredients.
5:53 Buzz will have to talk to them as well because he has run out of his granola bars. He ate the last one on Friday and completely forgot to restock. Probably because he was busy watching Japanese horror movies all weekend.
5:54 So Buzz wants some oatmeal? He'd actually prefer something else, maybe an exotic roll or something. Steve goes by the Au Bon Pain everyday coming back from the gym and he's noticed the various breakfast options.
5:55 Steve likes going through the pedway so he can see the huge line of people at the Jimmy John's that just opened. It's like a night club, they've got velvet rope and a queue and some guy with a clipboard letting people in. It's a $2 sandwich! They're good but people are waiting in a huge line.
5:56 Au Bon Pain makes their employees wear those funny hates but they don't look French. A lot of black people work there, it seems like they should get to wear cooler hats. Maybe that's something Al Sharpton should take on.
5:57 Bobby Rush is taking on MLB and steroids so that's good. It doesn't seem like he has any jurisdiction over them though. It also seems like he's late to the party. Steve was watching his press conference on the Tribune website, it was attended by one person who might have been his press secretary.
5:58 Steve has another email but this isn't a mailbag segment. This first letter is addressed to Steve or Tina. A few weeks ago Steve mentioned that Stephanie was answering his emails and some people can't get over it. One guy has now started sending emails right to Steve.
5:59 Steve reads all the emails and he does reply to some of them. But he was getting way too many forwards comparing Drew Peterson to the Cowardly Lion. If Steve had a dollar for every one of those he got he could retire.
6:00 So this email is to Steve or Tina even though Tina's not the one answering Steve's emails. Tina would side with the people who hate Steve so she wasn't given the job. She'd just tell the emailer Steve has no formal education and that she has a journalism degree. Steve still has a byline in a newspaper and gets to write about stupid things.
6:01 Just over the weekend he wrote a column about Christmas lights. There was some guy in California who was electrocuted trying to put up Christmas lights. He hit a power line and got the maximum volts you could get from a power line.
6:02 Buzz saw that story too, there's a huge spontaneous memorial set up right where the guy died. For some reason, the way the story was done, made Buzz laugh. He's blaming whoever wrote the article because they put the wrong emotional spin on it.
6:03 A man who was hanging Christmas decorations in East Palo Alto was electrocuted Saturday when a string of lights apparently meant for hard-to-reach branches touched two high-voltage power lines. There's a reason God made those branches hard-to-reach.
6:04 It might have been the memorial that really got Buzz. Those memorials are so pointless, especially if there's a Mylar balloon.
6:05 The guy was hanging Christmas lights for his entire apartment building when he was electrocuted.
6:06 Should Steve include this story in his somewhat light-hearted look at holiday decorating?
6:07 Tina's over at Au Bon Pain at the oatmeal bar. They have oatmeal in a tub and then 6 other ingredients, cinnamon, granola, almonds, chocolate chips, raisins and cranberries. No brown sugar? Actually the cinnamon might be brown sugar
6:08 Steve's going to go cinnamon, almonds and cranberries. Buzz would like a muffin, specifically a cinnamon crumb muffin. Is that a muffin Buzz has made up?
6:09 Buzz will just go with the blueberry muffin. Don't bring him the bran, he can barely get back in the studio as it is. He'll be throwing muffins at Jim's head.
6:10 So that's the oatmeal bar, it opens right at 6 am and it won't have people's hair in it.
6:11 When Steve got back to the office on Friday afternoon after the show he caught Tina MySpacing. He always notices there's food on the ground in his office and it wasn't him who was eating it.
6:12 Steve probably shouldn't bring it up until he gets his food. But it was funny that the page was just sitting there on his computer. She didn't even try to close it down. Maybe she wants to get caught. She likes being in Steve's doghouse.
6:18 Steve knows this story about the guy getting electrocuted isn't funny. It's in a Hispanic neighborhood which might explain the shrine. Hispanics are your go to shrine people.
6:19 Steve has a TV report from some station out in California. Buzz is still blaming the newspeople for making this funny.
6:20 Steve worked at a couple of radio stations in the Bay Area. He actually broadcast all up and down the host from San Diego to San Francisco and everywhere in between.
6:21 Buzz spent a lot of time listening to a woman who was on all night in San Francisco, her name might have been Mother. Steve remembers her but he never met her. He saw a picture of her once and didn't want to meet her. She sounded fantastic, but if you sound fantastic and look fantastic you're on TV. If you sound fantastic but look like Mama Cass you're on the radio.
6:22 Buzz's muffin is here, does he want it now? Steve's going to save his oatmeal for the next break. Take it away from Tina though or she'll spit in it.
6:23 Live read: The Little Guys
6:24 Caller Mark was wondering what the call letters were for the station covering that guy getting electrocuted. He thought it was something like KV whatever which ties in with kilovolts. It's actually KVOR. That's really paying attention there junior.
6:25 Caller Garrison is not Garrison Keilor. He told Brendan right away that he knew Steve would get on him for the name. He's also a male nurse. Is he one of those street rats seeing Stacy Peterson?
6:26 Garrison was in the Air Force for a while as a battlefield nurse. The drill sergeants wore metal sabers and one time a bolt of lightning hit someone's sword. The guy looked fine on the outside but inside he was all charred.
6:27 Garrison imagines that the guy in Palo Alto had the same thing happen to him. Steve's putting Garrison on hold just for a second. It seems like he's overcompensating for the male nurse thing.
6:28 Steve thought this was going to be a phone call about completing the circuit.
6:29 There was a little too much information in that phone call for Steve.
6:30 Using the word "smoking" in a story about a guy's death is going to lead to comedic trouble.
6:31 Time for the web poll question of the day "Who would you like to see in a boxing match with Tonya Harding?" The options are Steve, Buzz and Pete. What does this all mean, Buzz might wonder.
6:32 Buzz followed Tonya's boxing career, she was not good. He thought she'd be really tough. But she couldn't punch and she didn't have the stamina. Steve's seen her sex tape, it seems like she had some stamina.
6:33 Brian Sean Griffith, former bodyguard to Tonya Harding, who admitted a role in the assault on Nancy Kerrigan (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) died last week.
6:34 Griffith died at age 40 of natural causes. That's pretty young. Formerly Shawn Eckardt, Griffith changed his name after the attack in order to put it behind him. Big mistake, he should have embraced it.
6:35 Griffith, of Beaverton (where Steve hopes to retire), was Tonya Harding's bodyguard when she was competing for a spot on the U.S. Olympic figure skating team in 1994. How do you go from Shawn Eckardt to Brian Sean Griffith?
6:36 In January of 1994 an assailant clubbed Kerrigan in the knee, forcing her out of the competition (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) Kerrigan was granted a spot on the team anyway and won a silver medal, which is losing.
6:37 If you go through all of that you should win the gold medal. Steve remembers that she could have won but pooched it.
6:38 On Saturday Steve shoveled the driveway because there wasn't that much snow. He strapped on the heart monitor and sat down every time he got up above 180. He bases himself out of the back of his car. He had to go snowblower on Sunday because there was just too much snow.
6:39 While shoveling Steve started thinking about the Bud Ice Girls who come out during Hawks games when they stop play to shovel ice.
6:40 Some of those girls are cute although it's hard to tell because they've got a lot of make-up on. It's too much make-up really but they have to come around the back of the neck so you get a good boob shot.
6:41 Then Steve had the idea that it would be a funny contest to have the Ice Girls come out and shovel your driveway but he's not sure how to apply that. He mentioned it to Mike Dahl last night as well.
6:42 Five minutes later the guy behind Steve said the same thing to his friend. It seemed like their whole conversation was for Steve's benefit.
6:43 Steve was at the game with a very tired Mike Dahl. Normally he's very talkative but he was in Florida last week, he had his girlfriend's Christmas party on Friday and God knows what he did on Saturday.
6:44 It was like being at a game with Matt Dahl, who normally only says two words to you. By the way Brendan, the podcast is canceled for today.
6:45 Matt Dahl took a break from being unemployed to go skiing and he left his dog at the house. That thing is going for a ride today. Some how Matt tricked Janet into making her think he's lonely and needs the dog for mental health reasons.
6:52 A silver medal is failure. Buzz knows that too! It's certainly not first place and a gold.
6:53 Steve calls up to his office. Stephanie is on the computer right now. Is she looking at porn? She's listening to some Best of Dahl for Jim to edit.
6:54 It was actually Stephanie on her MySpace page last Friday. Young lady! If she's going to be on Steve's computer she should be looking at porn. Then Steve will see it, think it's hot and then they won't have to talk about it ever again.
6:55 MySpace just seems like trouble for Steve. He'll get involved on there and bad stuff will happen.
6:56 Steve is currently enjoying his oatmeal with cranberries and brown sugar. As predicted Buzz wolfed down his blueberry muffin. He was supposed to wait until 8 am but he couldn't once it got in front of him. It's like blow!
6:57 Headlines with Buzz
6:58 New Jersey governor John Corzine is expected to sign a bill abolishing the death penalty in his state. It's being viewed as a groundbreaking move, at least until the next governor takes office and repeals the law.
6:59 Bank records are showing that Drew Peterson transferred about a quarter of a million dollars to his son's bank account around the time Stacy disappeared.
7:00 It seems inappropriate that his son keeps showing up for grand jury testimony in his Oak Brook policeman's uniform and his police cruiser. It seems like a cop thing, like he has the same attitude as his dad.
7:01 And now he has some money too. How do you amass that much money on a policeman's salary? He's probably got a budget and he sticks to it. Maybe he's good at investing.
7:02 Buzz remembers a life insurance policy for Kathleen Savio after she died. So that's probably where some of the money came from. The son will probably have to pay taxes on that right?
7:03 Maybe Ron Lewis could call in, if he's not too busy morning the death of Dan Fogelberg. Steve's internet works at his house and he checks the Sun-Times and Tribune website every hour. He knew Dan Fogelberg died last night of prostate cancer.
7:04 But Ron sent an email to everyone on the show anyway. Steve just sent him a reply thanking him. Buzz dealt with all of that last night. He knew he'd do this story today and he wanted to throw down a challenge to Jack to play a Dan Fogelberg song.
7:05 But then Buzz couldn't figure out what song to play. He went to iTunes and didn't recognize any songs. Steve has one that he thinks Buzz will recognize.
7:06 Ron Lewis is now on the phone. It's like he thinks he gets a special Folky edition of the Tribune website. Steve can see a very somber Ron Lewis sitting at the computer trying to think who to send the email to.
7:06 OK so Steve has $250,000 and he wants to transfer it to one of his sons. The sons wouldn't have to pay taxes but Steve might have to.
7:07 Caller Matt is out near Kirkland, where's that at? It's between DeKalb and Rockford. Matt had a ticket over at Maybrook court house. He saw all this parking so he went over there to try to park.
7:08 Before he could get over there someone stopped him and told him that lot was reserved for police officers. So maybe the son is being a privileged puke like his dad and parking in a special lot when he shows up for the grand jury.
7:09 The University of Michigan has replaced Lloyd Carr with Rich Rodriguez from West Virginia.
7:10 Dan Fogelberg died yesterday after a battle with prostate cancer.
7:11 Researchers in Indonesia have discovered two new species, a giant rat that is 5 times the size of a city rat and a possum that is much smaller than most normal possums, about the size of your thumbnail. That's tiny.
7:12 Song: Part of the Plan, Dan Fogelberg
7:15 That song was more of a rocker as opposed to most of his stuff. That album was produced by Joe Walsh. Steve met Dan a few times and he was a good guy and very handsome.
7:16 Buzz calls that saccharine guitar rock but Steve heard it a lot growing up in Southern California.
7:17 A man wounded in the Colorado church shooting last week was kicked out of a service yesterday for aggressive behavior.
7:18 The church has taken a restraining order out against a man who tried to stop the gunmen from shooting last weekend.
7:19 The church's pastor said he will continue to counsel the man who was angry about the way the church handled the incident.
7:25 We're going to talk to Jeff Joniak in a couple of minutes. He's up in Minneapolis for the Bears game. We'll probably play "Guess the Room Service Prices" again since there's not much else to talk about.
7:26 Is there any way the Bears can make the playoffs? The Giants did lose but there's no way the Bears can make it in.
7:27 Live read: Jacob Ruth
7:28 It always sounds like the Bears won the game when you hear the highlights but of course they lost their last game.
7:29 Is everyone going to be wearing #21 on their helmets for the rest of the season? Steve gets that it was a tragedy but it doesn't seem like a tragedy on that level.
7:30 The Bears wear George Halas' initials on their uniform but he founded the NFL and his family owns the team.
7:31 The Blackhawks wear WWW on their jerseys for Bill Wirtz but Steve always thinks it's a website.
7:32 Alright, Jeff Joniak is on the phone from Minnesota. Mathematically the Bears are still in the playoffs but it would take a long list of wins and losses to get them in.
7:33 If they lay down tonight and lose they're definitely out. They don't deserve to be in the playoffs anyway.
7:34 The Kyle Orton thing has injected a little life into the Bears coverage however. Are they just doing this on purpose so the fans don't go completely south on them?
7:35 Kyle was not happy when he lost his starting job, and then Brian Griese came on board and suddenly he was third string. You never heard him complain about it though.
7:36 Kyle has always had the strongest arm on the team but one criticism of him was that he didn't have enough control. But over the last couple of years he's built up his upper body so he should have gotten some control.
7:37 When Kyle first came to the Bears, in mini-camp, you could hear the ball whistle through the air. Kyle has never heard that. How great would it be if the Bears next franchise QB was there all along.
7:38 Jeff likes nuggets of information. Tom Brady was the 7th QB taken in the 2000 draft and Kyle Orton was the 7th QB taken in the 2005 draft.
7:39 Is Kyle still going with the Moe Howard look for the game? Jeff has also heard Grizzly Adams and the fifth Beatle. It doesn't seem like he cares what people are saying though.
7:40 Steve thinks he'll care when he's not pulling down quality tail like Jessica Simpson. Jeff doesn't get the attraction there.
7:41 Steve saw that game yesterday, why are we suddenly subjected to seeing her and her dad throughout the entire game. It seems like he's better off not being tied down right now. Just work his way through the cheerleading squad.
7:42 So who's not playing tonight? Steve keeps hearing Vasher might play but why would he?
7:43 Steve always hears about people not playing but it seems like everyone will be in there tonight. Steve wants the team to be at full strength so Kyle can win the game.
7:44 The Vikings will also be at full strength tonight. It'd be nice if they could stop Adrian Peterson. The 49ers did last week.
7:45 Steve won't drag Jeff into the Lance Briggs stuff. Does he want to play Guess the Room Service Prices?
7:46 Jeff actually isn't prepared to play quite yet and he's not even sure this hotel has room service. He's at the Crowne Plaza in Minneapolis.
7:47 Yesterday there were some problems for Tom and Jeff getting their hotel room keys. For some reason everyone, players, coaches, staff, broadcasters, have to go to the 7th floor to get their keys.
7:48 Tom and Jeff get up there and their keys aren't there. So they have to go back downstairs to check in and get their keys. Everyone else has a room on the upper floors and they knew they'd be better off taking the stairs.
7:49 Tom and Jeff are both fighting head colds so any delay would make Tom mad. So they go down the stairs to the lobby and there are no signs anywhere telling them where to go.
7:50 Somehow Jeff ends up in the lobby and Tom ends up outside. After finally checking in they waited 25 minutes for an elevator before Tom started yelling.
7:51 The manager finally came over to deal with the problem but Tom pulled out the fire hazard card saying the elevator problem was dangerous. Of course elevators aren't used when there's a fire.
7:59 Jessica Simpson was at the Cowboys game yesterday wearing a pink Tony Romo jersey. She was there with her dad who you have to give a lot of kudos to.
8:00 He took Jessica, who's good looking but talentless, and made her famous. Then he took Ashlee, who's not good looking and also talentless, and made her famous.
8:01 And now for a quick Guess the Room Service Price with Jeff Joniak and then back to bed for him. He's going to start with genuine Danish pastries from Denmark. They must be very expensive or very stale.
8:02 Steve's going to say $7.98 for all the pastries. Buzz thinks that's too high for Minnesota. They're much lower at $2.50.
8:03 The Northstar is three eggs any style, bacon or ham, has browns and toast. Steve's going to say $8.00. They're actually $8.95 which Jeff will give him.
8:04 Finally we've got corned beef hash which you don't normally see on a breakfast menu. That comes with toast and preserves. Steve's going to say $12.95. Actually, it's $7.95. That must be dog food!
8:05 OK, one more, Eggs Benedict. Steve's going to guess $13. It's actually under $10. What kind of hotel are they staying at? Do they downgrade the team if they're playing poorly?
8:06 Steve never asked for the price of the room so he couldn't get his bearings. It's actually not listed on the back of the door.
8:07 Let's move on to the all-day dining. They have a build-your-own burger but that's it. How about a Philly Beef sandwich? Steve's going to say $6. Steve's way off, he's struggling here. Jeff feels bad for him now.
8:08 The sandwich is actually $10.49. They're gouging you at lunch here! It probably costs them 49¢ to make and then $10 of profit.
8:09 OK how about the walleye filet. Steve's going to say $10.95. Way off. His second guess is $17, nice recovery, it's $16.95.
8:10 The next sandwich is a Buffalo chicken sandwich. Buzz has never heard of that, is that buffalo meat and chicken? Buzz has never heard of a Buffalo chicken? It's chicken with Buffalo sauce.
8:11 Steve can actually listen to the entire pre-game today, starting at 4:30 since he has nothing else to do. Then Tom and Jeff will both be on together this Friday.
8:12 Rod Zimmerman was telling Steve that he took Tom and Jeff out to dinner at The Palm in Washington. He said some red wine was consumed. Rod's a good guy to work for because you always know where he's coming from.
8:13 So that pre-game starts at 4:30 today, something to listen to on the way home. You learn a lot on that pre-game.
8:14 Steve's been listening to the Blackhawks post-game on his way home from the games. A lot of the things he thinks are happening he hears about in the post-game. You learn a lot in any good pre and post-game.
8:15 Steve doesn't really have anyone else to talk to about hockey and hone his knowledge. Chef Hans usually comes by during every game but he just tells Steve about some hockey rule.
8:16 Steve's very close to having a Hawks broadcaster on the show. It seems like you want to go broadcaster instead of player. Even the hockey broadcasters seem to have trouble talking to the players. They all sound Canadian even if they're not.
8:17 Buzz saw some football player yesterday, during the post-game, talking in all cliches. He was so guarded and the cliches started overlapping on each other.
8:18 Was that on NBC? Does Pete know who it is? It was probably Todd Collins, the Redskins QB.
8:23 Buzz was right, one cliche after another from Todd Collins. It's understandable though, you can't say anything without it getting blown out of proportion.
8:24 Live read: Allen Brothers
8:25 Earlier today Steve had some oatmeal for breakfast. Lately though he's been having bad breakfasts, chorizo burritos and stuff like that.
8:26 Steve was fine with the oatmeal until he walked out in the hallway and smelled a tantalizing breakfast. Buzz thought that was Steve's second course.
8:27 Steve calls down to Adam's office. He's eating a mushroom, onion, cheese and green pepper omelet. Is that a ten egg omelet or something?
8:28 Adam weighs about a buck ten. Steve has a leg that weighs that much. Is that Jim kid laughing in the background?
8:29 Adam is one of those people who can eat whatever he wants and not gain any weight. There's no sausage though? Steve thought he smelled sausage.
8:30 Adam got the omelet at the omelet bar in the Aon Building. Steve might have to get one now, he can't get that smell out of his mind. It doesn't seem right that Adam is eating an omelet on the day that Steve's having oatmeal.
8:31 Steve calls down to the newsroom. Jim can smell the omelet too, the smell is everywhere. Adam's walking around with the omelet hanging from his neck.
8:32 Anything going on in the newsroom? It's pretty quite now but people are filtering into the office. They're not our people, they're Fresh people or US 99 people. What do the US 99 people do? They're wearing cowboy hats and six shooters, spurs jangling.
8:33 At The B/Jack Christmas party Steve saw Jim talking to a black girl and thought he really did have a black girlfriend. He doesn't though, although he wouldn't be opposed to one if he was single. It seems like he's in a pretty serious relationship now though because he and the girlfriend go to cut down Christmas trees together with their families.
8:34 That's a nice carbon footprint their leaving, ruining the environment by cutting down trees, wasting gas to get up there and then throwing them out.
8:35 How does that omelet make Pete feel as someone who eats yogurt all day? He hates people like Adam who can just eat whatever they want. At least Adam can say he has to go workout later to work off the omelet. Or he could tell everyone he's making an omelet run.
8:36 Adam weights a buck ten, Steve weighs a buck 400. He doesn't really weigh 500 pounds although it feels like it when he's getting off the couch or something.
8:37 News with Buzz
8:38 Joe Lieberman has endorsed John McCain for president, even though they're in different political parties.
8:39 Mike Huckabee is still gaining in the polls although his campaign has hit a brief snag. Buzz hearts Huckabee right? That's a movie reference, Steve's trying to speak his language.
8:40 Allegations have surfaced that Huckabee's son was involved in an incident at Boy Scout camp in which a dog was hung from a tree.
8:41 Mike Huckabee is known for taking gifts from people, although what he's doing isn't illegal. Steve was watching a report on it last week on NBC and one of the perks he had as governor was half off at Wendy's.
8:42 That seems very Arkansas. How much is a burger at Wendy's? And you're getting half off of that. It doesn't seem worth it.
8:43 Steve's not like that, he couldn't take half off at Wendy's. Steve won a Lettuce Entertain You gift card at the Christmas party last week and he doesn't even know what to do with it. He was at a Lettuce restaurant on Saturday and it was in his pocket but he didn't want to use it.
8:44 Steve was at dinner with Rich Melman so it probably would have been inappropriate to use it. He forgot that he'd promised it to Penny. Steve calls down to the Jack studios.
8:45 Penny's riding Steve's levels and it's getting very warm. Penny! Steve's going to come down there after the show to drop the gift card off. She won't be alone though, just so he knows.
8:46 Steve didn't want to win anything at the party, he just wanted to be a regular guy. Of course he showed up right in the middle of everyone making speeches and it looks like he's making a grand entrance.
8:47 Later Steve played videogames and skee-ball. He wasn't good at skee-ball, that's regular isn't it? He also got beaten at football toss by Mary. When he accidentally tied her she refused to let him play again.
8:48 He also got beaten at machine gun shooting by Brendan. Steve was shooting all the hostages which they take points off for. It's just as fun to shoot the hostages as it is to shoot the bad guys.
8:49 A Philadelphia anchorwoman, already known for sending photos of herself in a bikini to Rich Eisen, allegedly punched a female police officer over the weekend.
8:50 Forbes Magazine has named Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby Shiloh as the most influential baby. What does that mean? Influential to other babies?
8:51 The mother of Lance Briggs' child says the football player is not living up to his promise to help with the child. What's with the Bears linebackers? We're going to have to call them the Bare Backers.
8:52 Briggs is making $7 million this year and she says she's getting $250 a week from him. Brendan makes more money than that and Steve always has protected sex with him.
8:53 Will Smith's new movie I Am Legend made $76 million over the weekend. It's a remake of Omega Man. Having seen both movies Buzz can say that Omega Man is better and Will Smith is now Charlton Heston. OK old man! It made $70 million!
8:54 Steve hasn't seen I Am Legend but the trailer looks good. Steve watched I Now Pronounced You Chuck and Larry which wasn't that funny. It got a little too serious when they realized it's not funny to gay bash.
8:55 Steve knows gay bashing is wrong, he doesn't need his comedies to have a moral message.
8:56 Don't get Steve wrong, he likes his football players to knock chicks up and have kids out of wedlock. It makes for a better football player, along with the unlicensed firearms.
8:57 You start getting rid of guys like Tank Johnson and suddenly you're not in the playoffs. The U tried to clean up their program and where are they now?
8:58 You need crazy guys to be football players. If they're not crazy they start thinking about what they're doing and the possibility that at any moment they could be paralyzed.
8:59 Live read: Jacob Ruth
9:00 Song: Jack & Diane, John Cougar Mellencamp
9:03 Not just Jack music but Jack and Diane music. Pat Boyle is on the phone, he's getting ready for Bears football.
9:04 It seems like it's been 2 months since the last Bears game. After the Redskins game Steve could not get to sleep. Initially he blamed the Chinese food but then he had some leftover egg foo yung the next day and took a nap right away.
9:05 Mike Dahl was also over to watch the game and he's one of those fans that turns on the team hardcore. He doesn't just sit there mad, he's yelling at the TV the whole time. So that's very agitating.
9:06 So Steve's trying to get to sleep and it's one of those nights when you keep looking at the clock knowing you have to get up early the next day.
9:07 Pat thinks Kyle Orton will do OK tonight. He's more worried about the defense being able to stop Adrian Peterson.
9:08 Pat doesn't understand Nate Vasher coming back though. He appreciates the effort but it seems like a big risk.
9:09 Pat has some Lovie Smith and Kyle Orton audio. He likes the edge he's heard from Kyle lately though. He seems irritated and why not? He went from winning 10 games in 2005 to being third string.
9:10 There's a great photo of Kyle and Ron Turner on the back of the Sun-Times. Kyle has this look on his face like "this is what I have to work with?"
9:11 Steve has always thought that Kyle was the best QB on the team and he's been saying that for a while. It's his dream that Kyle will be the Bears franchise QB and he's been there the whole time.
9:12 Even if he is a franchise QB the Bears will figure out how to ruin it. They ruin everything that team touches. They've turned Lovie into an idiot. Look at Dick Jauron, he's got a reasonable successful team now.
9:13 It seems like the Bears hire people who are so grateful to have a job that they make concessions. Like hiring Ron Turner.
9:14 They've made some bad personnel decisions too. If they had just sat Cedric Benson down at the scouting combine they would have walked out of the room realizing they shouldn't draft him.
9:15 We've got a nice montage of Tony Romo's misery from yesterday. He threw 3 interceptions while his girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, watched the game from the stands. Her and her dad logged more screen time than Tony Romo did.
9:16 Troy Aikman seems to be getting funnier in the booth. He's working over Joe Buck now who's getting really full of himself.
9:17 And Buzz's Dolphins finally won a game yesterday. He was hoping they'd go 0-16. How do you win a game with a QB named Cleo Lemon?
9:18 Pat has the audio of the game winning touchdown. The Dolphins announcers went nuts. It's kind of embarrassing actually.
9:26 We've got some new Drew Peterson stuff coming up but first Steve's going to set the table.
9:27 Song: Bolingbrookville, Steve Dahl
9:31 As Buzz said during the song, you can't put a Parrothead in a cage. You can put a parrot in a cage though.
9:32 Buzz has stood by and supported Drew during this entire thing and it's greatly appreciated.
9:33 Com Ed has a new ad campaign, "how many whatevers does it take to screw in a light bulb?" There's one with Cheap Trick, I Want You to Want Me used to be Drew's theme song. They're pretty funny for Com Ed. Hopefully someone will call Drew and put him in one of the commercials. They could just buy the footage of Drew screwing in the light bulb from whomever and stick the Com Ed logo at the end. That would be some extra money for Drew which would be nice.
9:34 Buzz is quite frankly shocked that Drew's website was taken down. He probably met his financial needs at least for the time being.
9:35 Drew's trying to start a MySpace page too, he needs to start seeing people. His wife left him for another man and it's been almost 8 weeks since he last saw her.
9:36 Should we hear the latest Drew Peterson story as Drew or as someone else with Drew interjecting.
9:37 Buzz feels that the stories as Drew is a different angle. It's something you don't get anywhere else.
9:38 Drew Peterson will ask an Illinois judge to look into grand jury leaks. Everybody seems to know everything, like why they're looking in that canal.
9:39 None of it's true! Drew got up and Stacy was gone. She left him for another man and he doesn't like admitting that.
9:40 Plus he's got that fiance who dumped him too. He doesn't like broads dumping him to be on his record. If someone's going to be dumped Drew likes to dump the broads.
9:41 Technically that fiance caught Drew cheating on her so it's almost like he dumped her. He's taking a real hit on this Stacy thing though.
9:42 Drew's saying he's the #1 most hated person in America. He always strives to be the best. Drew says he's never seen anyone attacked like this before.
9:43 Reports surfaced over the weekend that Drew wrote large checks, including one for $250,000, to his son from a joint account he kept with Stacy.
9:44 Drew also issued a blanket denial about everything being said to connect him to the disappearance of his wife. It's vague yet insightful.
9:45 "As more things come up, more things get knocked down." That's a direct quote from Drew. He should go into politics after this is all over. It means nothing but it seems powerful and insightful.
9:46 "The whole incident is losing credibility." What does that mean? After the report about the money surfaced Drew said that any steps taken were only to ensure that his kids were taken care of.
9:47 Who else does Drew have now? What happened to that Rick Mims guy? One minute he's at the Starbuck's answering the phone and the next minute he's gone.
9:48 The Enquirer comes out tomorrow, it'd be nice if Drew was on the cover three weeks in a row. He had a slow week last week though, the news people pulled out and there was an ice storm.
9:55 It sounds like Drew needs a hug. Does Buzz want to go down there today and give him a hug, maybe take him out to lunch too.
9:56 Drew probably hasn't even got his Christmas shopping done. Now that he's got the computer back he can shop online though.
9:57 The house is probably a mess too. As much as all of Drew's wives have disappointed him with their housekeeping he's also disappointed himself. Housework is for the broads though.
9:58 Steve doesn't know how to stop talking like Drew so he's just going to stop. He could do it all day though. Let's go over by Johnnie's and get some beef, dipped and drag tru da garden.
9:59 It's not as fun being Steve. Buzz doesn't think you can have one without the other. You can't have peaks without valleys, not that Steve is a valley.
10:00 Tomorrow we'll talk to Tom Thayer for some post-game analysis of the game at 7 am. Tom calls in nice and early. You might recall that Jeff called in at 7:30 and was bitchy when Steve made him get out of bed to get the room service menu. Jeff's a bit of a prima donna.
10:01 Hopefully we'll have something good to talk about although sometimes it's more fun to talk to Tom after a loss. He gets angry after a loss.

 

 

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