 |
 |
|
| 5:31
| All Steve needs is a miracle, Buzz is Steve's little miracle this morning. It's always a pleasure to see him. Mike + The Mechanics are an English band formed in 1985 as a side project of Mike Rutherford, one of the founders of Genesis. |
| 5:32
| They're know for their hit songs Silent Running (On Dangerous Ground), All I Need is a MIracle, Over My Shoulder and The Living Years. Steve needs to write songs that make use of parentheses. |
| 5:33
| If the title of your song has parentheses in it, you've improperly titled it. It's like Oh What a Night (December 1963). |
| 5:34
| Standby, Steve's turning off all the mics for a throat clear. Buzz got one in too which is nice. This is the radio version of the farmer's wipe. Steve loves seeing the athletes do the farmer's wipe on TV. Don't they know they're on camera? |
| 5:35
| Steve uses the farmer's wipe when he runs but he always looks around to make sure no one is watching. He doesn't want his neighbors to see him do that, especially the MILFs. That's not a MILF attractor, although he hasn't attracted any MILFs in all the time he's been running. |
| 5:36
| Steve's been trying to play 3 songs per day, he did that yesterday right? He's counting Bolingbrookville as one of the songs. Todd cares a lot about the music, he actually programs it by hand instead of using a computer program. |
| 5:37
| Steve's still waiting for the invite to Todd's house in Montana. Todd might like to drink wine with other guys though, which seems gay to Steve. |
| 5:38
| Steve's pretty sure there were two gay guys sitting behind him at the Hawks game last night. They seemed to be making fun of the fact that they were gay but they weren't fixating on any of the players. They did chit-chat for the entire game though. |
| 5:39
| Steve doesn't care of course, but there's always the concern that someone will say something offensive to them. Steve wouldn't because he doesn't need to become the next Don Imus. It seems like Steve would get in trouble even if he said something off the air. Buzz isn't sure that would happen if it wasn't on the air. Maybe he needs to dial down his use of the n-word on the streets then. |
| 5:40
| If you got into a shouting match at a game because they spilled a beer on you and you accidentally used a slur it would be taken the wrong way and then you'd be strung up. Buzz feels if there's an opportunity to lynch a public figure, it'll happen. |
| 5:41
| That woman on the Golf Channel is in trouble for saying that young golfers would want to lynch Tiger Woods to get him out of the way because he's so good. She didn't mean it like a Klan lynching though and Tiger said he didn't care so that should be the end of it. She's in trouble though, but they shouldn't have a Golf Channel anyway. Turning the TV off, that's the Golf Channel, or maybe just a picture of a lawn with a hole in it. |
| 5:42
| Mark Giangreco couldn't stop talking about the story yesterday and he kept going to some outraged black guy demanding that she be fired. Does Pete have that handy? Steve doesn't even know who the guy is but he's acting like he's the spokesman for all aggrieved black people. |
| 5:43
| What's Pete doing in that studio, is he playing the harmonica? How's Pete's potato mouth? It seems like it's much better today which is good because Steve has a few issues to take up with him. |
| 5:44
| Steve come in second in the Fantasy Football League and he can't get paid until Pete sends his money in. Pete had been holding off on sending his check in because his team was so good he figured he'd win it all. |
| 5:45
| Pete's team was really good and he was knocked out in the first week. Ed Silha set up the playoffs in a very unfair way so that every team made it in except for two. Then you can't pick up any new players during the playoffs. |
| 5:46
| The commissionership of the league might have to go back to Brendan which is going to crush Ed Silha. Pete feels all the kinks will be worked out by next year. |
| 5:47
| Pete saw the Mark Giangreco thing Steve's talking about but he doesn't know the black guy he was talking to. He's also upset about Russian hockey because they had the worst fight ever. |
| 5:47
| This guy Mark Giangreco talked to is calling for the Golf Channel woman to get fired which doesn't seem right. In this day and age it doesn't seem like anyone should call for anyone else to get fired. |
| 5:48
| It doesn't seem like the Golf Channel woman meant anything with the lynching comment. Steve will give you the Fuzzy Zoeller/fried chicken comment but not this. |
| 5:49
| This guy Giangreco talked to is a syndicated columnist so it's obvious he's just trying to drum up publicity for himself. And Mark couldn't stop playing the tape. |
| 5:50
| Steve prefers ABC7 news but one thing he's realized, watching it all day, is that every single newscast from 4 pm on is almost exactly the same. The 5 pm and 10 pm are nearly identical with a few minor changes. |
| 5:51
| Occasionally they'll throw in a Linda Yu/nail polish story or something from Harry Porterfield, who looks like he's wearing a Halloween mask. |
| 5:52
| The woman from the Golf Channel has been suspended for two weeks which seems wrong, but it's better than being fired. There are probably no golf events going on right now anyway. |
| 5:58
| Why does Mark care what's going on in the Russian hockey league? Steve saw him at the Hawks game on Sunday and he left early. |
| 5:59
| What's wrong with fighting? The Blackhawks might need to drop the gloves themselves because they've lost 7 games in a row. |
| 6:00
| Getting back to this Kelly Tilghman thing, there is golf going on right now. Al Sharpton has joined the fray demanding she be fired immediately. Where does anyone get off saying that? Even if she really meant it where does he get off saying it? |
| 6:01
| Steve's having trouble getting his TiVo on the air. He'll have to mention it to Steve the engineer during his daily, awkward visit. Buzz thought those visits were a courtesy, which they are. Steve the engineer is lonely though so he hangs out for 20 minutes wanting to talk. |
| 6:02
| Steve would love to talk to the engineer, or go to Radioshack with him, but he's in the middle of a show. Maybe he should pencil in a post-show visit to Radioshack. |
| 6:03
| Kelly Tilghman was born in South Carolina so it's probably her Southern accent that got her in trouble. |
| 6:04
| Tilghman played golf at Duke, as did Steve. He was a Blue Devil too. Steve's always distracted by the story but he's pretty sure she's good looking. Buzz thinks she's just OK but he has very high standards. Steve has more of a sliding scale. |
| 6:05
| She reminds Buzz of Tracy Nelson, Ricky Nelson's wife. She is doable though, even with the racism. Buzz doesn't think it's racist but she'll still probably get fired. |
| 6:06
| Steve remembers a time when certain black leaders, the ones who are always up in arms in these situations, said Tiger wasn't black enough. |
| 6:07
| Steve is attracted to another story but he only has a summary so he's not sure how the rest of it will go. The headline is "Lap Dance Leads to Legal Trouble, Cops Say". You can see how Steve would be drawn in. |
| 6:08
| An Aurora woman who said she fought off an attacker was actually getting revenge because he wouldn't pay her for a lapdance, according to police. |
| 6:09
| Kavina Phillips was charged with felony disorderly conduct for filing a false police report. Police said a 60-year-old said he'd pay Phillips for a lap dance in his apartment but then afterwards told her he wouldn't have the money until Friday. He'd gladly play her Friday for a lapdance today. |
| 6:10
| Steve feels he just witnessed a weird phenomenon in which a caller phoned in with one topic and then Brendan changed it to something else. The guy called in to say that Tilghman played golf at Duke then Steve read that on the air and the topic was changed to the guy seeing Tilghman in formal wear, looking uncomfortable. That doesn't seem like a topic that should be on the air either though. |
| 6:11
| Caller Joe feels that his new comment still ties in. Steve will decide if it ties in or not. Joe saw some year-end special on the Golf Channel where everyone was in formal wear. |
| 6:12
| Tilghman looked very uncomfortable, she's athlete cute. She's probably much more comfortable in a ponytail and baseball hat. Steve's not really interested in this call, it seems like Joe is working on a bit for the Tonight's Show or something. |
| 6:13
| Joe would be better off as one of those people calling in to leave messages for Jack FM. Those people are disturbing to Steve. |
| 6:14
| Steve doesn't want to start the show off on a bad note so he'll go back to Joe. He sees what he's saying about her being athlete cute. |
| 6:15
| Steve can't even get a joke in with Joe. He has to be able to get a word in edgewise on his own show. |
| 6:16
| So anyway it doesn't seem like that Tilghman woman was being racist. She made a mistake, which happens, especially on live TV. |
| 6:17
| It wasn't an onerous comment but Al Sharpton is doing his best to make it seem like it was. It doesn't seem like she should be fired, especially after she apologized and Tiger Woods himself said he didn't think she meant anything by it. |
| 6:18
| Now Brendan has a guy on hold who said his wife is a former athlete and she's also uncomfortable in a dress. C'mon Brendan! |
| 6:19
| Caller John couldn't resist, his wife is athletically built and feels uncomfortable in a dress. He just felt bad when he heard Joe's call because he knew where he was coming from. |
| 6:26
| Live read: Templeton Rye |
| 6:27
| When Steve was at Won Kow restaurant in Chinatown, which is the oldest restaurant in Chinatown, he sat in the corner that Al Capone used to sit in. Capone liked to throw down the Chinese food and the Templeton Rye. |
| 6:28
| A few weeks ago Buzz commented that he never heard much about Al Capone's live behind bars. Turns out there are a ton of books about it. Buzz has only seen Al Capone movies and they all end with him going to jail. |
| 6:29
| Templeton Rye sent some t-shirts over. Buzz has been running in a Templeton Rye shirt, the burgundy one. |
| 6:30
| Steve has both styles but he can't wear either of them because they're in XL. Our own Jim is wearing a Templeton Rye shirt as well. |
| 6:31
| Jim is in the studio, modeling the shirt for Buzz. Does Buzz know we're not on TV? He's got Jim confused, turning around, hands on his hips like a runway model. |
| 6:32
| Jim is wearing the burgundy Templeton Rye shirt, in extra small of course. He likes the shirt, and not just because it was free. It's a hip shirt. If Jim and Pete are going to sport the tight t-shirts they need to start working out. Them wearing tight shirts is like Steve wearing Under Armour. It's not a good look. He'd look like an ill-made bratwurst in Under Armour. |
| 6:34
| Headlines with Buzz |
| 6:35
| You won't have Bill Richardson to kick around any more, he's dropped out of the Presidential race after failing to get even one percent of the vote in New Hampshire. |
| 6:36
| Steve doesn't know why they place so much importance on the New Hampshire primaries when only 150,000 people vote. That's like letting Naperville decide who our next president should be. Steve would actually feel more comfortable with that. |
| 6:37
| Four victims of Chicago police torture will share nearly $20 million from a settlement. The four men claimed they were tortured by former officer Jon Burge. What was the name of that device? The Torturerama? The Truth Detector? Steve doesn't remember the name but at one point you had jumper cables on your nipples. |
| 6:38
| An Idaho man is being held for mental evaluation after he cut off his own hand and put it in the microwave. The man said he was trying to escape the wrath of God. Steve would have put the hand in a crock pot. A hand is going to be very tough. |
| 6:38
| Caller Dave is calling in about the Burge Box. It's a very simple name. |
| 6:39
| Something must have happened if the city decided to settle. Of course what do they care, it's not their money, it's our money? |
| 6:40
| They should market those Burge Boxes as a marital aid. There's a few people, the types who enjoy being strung up on hooks, who wouldn't mind having a Burge Box on the nightstand. |
| 6:41
| We are paying off big time today, Dave is the second bonus prize winner of the day. |
| 6:42
| The cheapest car in the world was unveiled in India this week. Over 1,000 people packed an auditorium at Tata Motors to unveil a car that retails for $2,500. |
| 6:43
| Many claimed it wasn't possible to make a car and sell it for that little. Is it made of cardboard and completely unsafe? It probably doesn't have airbags or even a floor. |
| 6:44
| Bad news for waiters everywhere, tableside touchscreens are the newest wave of dining technology. The gadgets are being used by U Wink restaurants. Is that in this country? The gadgets allow diners to settle their bill and play trivia as well. |
| 6:45
| That's just like one restaurant chain, it's not the end of the world is it? They still need someone to serve the food. |
| 6:46
| U Wink seems like one of those places that has a lot of interactive trivia games. From time to time Steve likes to go to Damen's Ribs and get involved in a lively game of trivia. Buzz remembers a bar in Chicago that had that kind of arrangement. Steve can't remember the name of the game but they have it everywhere. |
| 6:47
| Song: Free Fallin', Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers |
| 6:51
| Caller Rick wanted to let Steve know that Buffalo Wild Wings also has the bar trivia game. That's the same one Steve used to play at Damen's. |
| 6:52
| NTN is the name of the trivia game, you can play it against people from all across the country. |
| 6:53
| Rick loves Steve and Buzz in the mornings. It makes his drive in and the first few hours of work more bearable. Rick also hooked his wife on the show. He sounds like the perfect listener |
| 7:01
| Steve the engineer is in studio, lurking. He should just take a look at the problem now while he's in here. |
| 7:02
| They've already had one spat today. Good old Pete has had a computer in his studio since 1995 and apparently it's been breaking down since 1995 but he only waited until now to tell anyone. |
| 7:03
| Steve got the order approved for a new computer but Steve the engineer doesn't believe him and was lecturing him on the process he has to go through in order to get something approved. It's been approved! |
| 7:04
| And Pete, if something isn't working, don't wait until it's broken to tell someone about it! Pete's using a computer they haven't made since 1995. He has Pro Tools 3 and they're now on Pro Tools 7! |
| 7:05
| Jim has the new version but Pete doesn't want to switch, that's the issue. It's not like they've made any technological advances since 1995 right? |
| 7:06
| Pete needs to clean his studio up, it's messy again. And from now on Steve the engineer should come in and talk to Pete everyday. Steve the engineer is the only person who says no around here. The great thing about being on in the mornings is you don't have to hear no from anyone. In the afternoons all Steve heard was no. |
| 7:07
| Up until a few weeks ago Pete's computer was working fine and he didn't want to accrue any extra expenses. Why does Steve have to go through this every time, for the last 12 years. Pete doesn't want to accrue expenses but he won't send in $30 for the football pool?! |
| 7:08
| Of course now Steve will have to pay for the software himself to get it here this week and it'll take forever to get reimbursed. We need it now though. |
| 7:09
| OK, it's time for today's web poll question of the day, "has Steve ever stolen an idea?" |
| 7:10
| A teen inventor from Scarsdale who registered the name "Change Rocks" for a line of jewelry and accessories he designed is facing competition from Barack Obama. |
| 7:11
| Stephen Doyno picked the name "Change Rocks" for rings with interchangeable stones. He's also come out with pendants and soon t-shirts. |
| 7:12
| After Googling "Change Rocks" Doyno learned that the name had been used by Obama's campaign for a concert and fundraiser. |
| 7:13
| Steve does like Steve the engineer, is he being too hard on him? He doesn't want to hear no before 10 am. |
| 7:14
| The web poll question today is actually "has Steve ever had an idea stolen?" At first it seemed like everyone was turning on him. |
| 7:15
| Doyno's lawyers sent Obama's campaign a letter pointing out that the "Change Rocks" name had already been registered and if they were planning on further use of it it could be infringement. |
| 7:16
| They should have stopped at infringement but then they tried to get Obama to work out a deal with Doyno and explore some synergies. |
| 7:17
| Well good luck to the kid. That's the web poll, "has Steve ever had an idea stolen?" not "has Steve ever stolen an idea?" |
| 7:18
| Steve has certainly borrowed ideas but he gives credit. Steve does his best to avoid inadvertently stealing an idea though. Even if something is out there, available to be stolen, he tries not to. |
| 7:19
| Of course there are certain people who work on the show, Mark and Pete, who like to point out when Steve steals an idea. |
| 7:20
| Sometimes Steve will say something that was also on Colbert or Jon Stewart and then Pete will play the tape. |
| 7:21
| Suddenly those guys aren't as funny without the writers are they? |
| 7:28
| That's a drop from Colbert Report, maybe they are still funny. Steve does avoid those shows though just because he treads the same ground. That's where Pete comes in to point it out. |
| 7:29
| Steve's getting some hate mail for abusing Pete. One woman asked him if he was having his period, which is impossible since he had a hysterectomy. Another woman said he was being mean to Potato Mouth and called him a douche. |
| 7:30
| Pete appreciates people sticking up for him but in this case it doesn't seem necessary. Steve's just trying to light a fire under him. |
| 7:31
| Pete's been taking the abuse for 12 years now, he doesn't mind. Steve's the only thing keeping Pete on this planet anyway. Without Steve Pete would be on Lower Wacker in a cardboard box. |
| 7:32
| Steve's been getting a lot of emails from two authors who want Steve to read their books and then have them on the show. |
| 7:33
| One guy wrote a book called The Secret Tower and he keeps asking Steve if he's read it. Steve is never going to read the book if the guy keeps telling him to read it. Steve doesn't like to be told what to do, that's why he dropped out of school. |
| 7:34
| Another guy wrote a book about setting out across the country, starting with $10 in his pocket. Steve doesn't care about that and he doesn't care that Rachel Ray can spend a day in New Orleans eating on $20. |
| 7:35
| Steve doesn't care about reading, reading is for losers. TVs have replaced books. Why would Steve to have an author in the studio and have to come up with questions to ask him, just so the guy can make more money on book sales? |
| 7:36
| Steve doesn't want to read The Secret Tower because it's about air traffic controllers. He doesn't want to know the bad stuff that goes on when he flies, he just wants to sit there waiting for his hot nuts in the dish. |
| 7:37
| Live read: Whirlyball |
| 7:38
| Ed Silha's in Vegas at the Consumer Electronics Show and he keeps sending photos of all the TVs he sees. When you send a photo of a 150 inch TV on your camera phone it doesn't really translate. Steve feels all the photos are leading up to a nude photo of Ed. |
| 7:39
| Dateline Carol Stream, a radio DJ has been charged with indecent solicitation after trying to set up a sexual encounter with a 13-year-old boy. This hits close to home for Buzz because his wife hails from Carol Stream. |
| 7:40
| Michael D. Wawrzyniak of Chicago was charged last Friday. That's only a 10 year age difference, that should be his lawyer's arguments. Kids are much more mature these days. |
| 7:41
| The charges came after an online sting operation involving police detectives as a child. |
| 7:42
| Buzz is wondering if the guy's lawyer could argue that Wawrzyniak was perceptive enough to know that it wasn't a 13-year-old but a grown man. Is Buzz coming down on the side of the perverts again? |
| 7:43
| You could probably also argue entrapment and of course he might not be guilty of anything. |
| 7:44
| Carol Stream deputy police chief Kevin Orr said he hopes the investigation has prevented a child from becoming the victim of a heinous act. Of course it's an imaginary child. |
| 7:45
| If you're a pervert it probably doesn't matter when something like this happens. Some perverts might think this is a good day to be out trolling for underage kids. |
| 7:46
| Wawrzyniak, or Radio Boy, is part of Drex in the Mornings. He's not the main guy though, he's probably just someone they send out for stunts. What if this was a radio stunt? |
| 7:52
| That was The Office episode where Andy found out he was dating a high school girl. He said the only illegal thing they'd done was break some mailboxes. |
| 7:53
| When Steve does the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell today he'll be looking for a listener to make a lunch date with. Steve won't actually be eating with the listener unless it happens that they end up at the same Taco Bell. |
| 7:54
| Steve was thinking we'd give that listener a $20 gift certificate for Taco Bell. That totally shocked Mary because it hasn't been approved yet. It's only $20, Steve will pay it. Pete's got everyone thinking crazy around here. |
| 7:55
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:56
| Song: All the Small Things, blink-182 |
| 7:59
| Steve couldn't help but notice, earlier today, and yesterday, that Buzz hasn't brought in his collection of horror DVDs that he's going to give away to listeners. |
| 8:00
| Buzz has a movie called Ankle Biters, which he mentioned earlier in the week. Movies like that are tough for Buzz to give up, just because of the title. He likes to look up at the shelf and see Ankle Biters sitting there. |
| 8:01
| Buzz needs to go through his collection, catalog everything, and then decided what to get rid of. OK Pete! Does Steve need to come up there with some accountant boxes and just start tossing stuff? |
| 8:02
| It's time now for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Caller Angie will be making a lunch date with Steve, although they're not really going out. That's probably for the best. |
| 8:03
| Angie's trying to watch her weight so she's going to get 3 steak tacos, fresco style. |
| 8:04
| Steve will be having a Cheesy Gordita which is a thicker, flatbread tortilla, stuck to a flour tortilla with cheese. Angie recommends the Double Decker Taco, it's a soft shell taco pasted to the outside of a hard shell taco with beans. |
| 8:05
| Steve has never had that but he might have to change his order. He loves when they paste items to other items using food at Taco Bell. |
| 8:06
| Is Buzz ready with some news? Steve is ready for Buzz, he has two audio cuts. Buzz had no idea Jim had been in with the audio. |
| 8:07
| News with Buzz |
| 8:08
| Bill Richardson has dropped out of the Presidential race. He garnered 0% of the votes in New Hampshire, but some people did actually vote for him. |
| 8:09
| Family members of the victims of the Station night club fire in Rhode Island testified at a parole hearing for co-owner Michael Derderian. He's seeking release from his 15 year sentence after serving 4. |
| 8:10
| 15 years seems pretty light, 100 people died. Of course it wasn't pre-meditated and it was the band, Great White, who brought the pyrotechnics that started the fire. |
| 8:11
| President Bush believes he will see a signed peace treaty between Israel and Palestine by the time he leaves office. |
| 8:12
| The honorary mayor of Hollywood, Johnny Grant, has died. Grant is best known for introducing celebrities as their stars are unveiled on the Walk of Fame and organizing the Hollywood Christmas parade. |
| 8:13
| The city has agreed to settle with 4 victims who were tortured by former police officer Jon Burge. Alderman Ed Smith wants more done, believing that Burge shouldn't continue to get his pension. |
| 8:14
| Great White's tour manager was tried for his involvement in the night club fire as well. Against his lawyer's advice, Michael Biechele plead guilty to 100 counts of involuntary manslaughter. It doesn't say how much time he did though. |
| 8:15
| Drew Peterson is making an appeal to an anonymous letter writer who claims he saw Stacy and snapped a photo of her on his camera phone. |
| 8:16
| That tour manager was sentenced to 15 years with 11 years suspended, so he served 4. Probably a good idea for him to go against his lawyer's advice since the club owner got way more time. |
| 8:17
| None of the police officers on the Stacy Peterson case have come across anyone who has seen Stacy. There are 70 to 80 agents assigned to the investigation. You would think they would have found her already. |
| 8:18
| Steve's still confused about this Great White sentencing thing. It also says the club owner was sentenced to 15 years with 11 suspended, so why did he serve 5? Can Mark call in? |
| 8:19
| Buzz actually said 4 years so it's all cleared up, never mind Mark. Mark is up in Wisconsin, he was near the tornadoes this week. |
| 8:20
| Apparently Drew was scouting Mark as a possible reporter/witness to the tornadoes this week. Mark was on the phone when Drew called and left a frantic message for him. |
| 8:21
| It's very hard to talk to Drew because he's still focusing on what could have been at WCKG. He keeps saying how they could have used 6 more months to really take off. |
| 8:22
| As Steve said in his Thought for the Day yesterday, he's going to need to see a before photo of the Wisconsin tornado if he's going to feel sorry. A lot of Wisconsin looks like that already. |
| 8:23
| Buzz remembers Steve saying that yesterday on the air because he got a hearty laugh. Steve's pretty sure it was the Thought for the Day only. Maybe Buzz heard it on the Colbert Report? |
| 8:24
| Caller Pat wanted to let Steve know that Great White is playing the Fuel Room. That's where the big Dahlfins gig was! |
| 8:25
| Alright so the Great White thing is cleared up. Some advice to the kids out there, if you're thinking of opening a night club, don't get the cheap sound proofing material. |
| 8:26
| And also if you're going to chain the doors shut have a wider door for people to get out of in the front. |
| 8:27
| Cough syrup abuse is up among teenagers. That's probably because it's much easier to get than anything else. |
| 8:28
| The kids do something to the cough syrup though don't they? They don't just drink it straight, they spin it at the end of a rope to separate out the good stuff. |
| 8:29
| A Polish man got the shock of his wife when he visited a local brothel and saw his wife working there. This is from the Polish tabloid Super Express. Isn't that the name of a Barbara Hershey movie? |
| 8:30
| The woman had told her husband she was making extra money working at a local store. The man later filed for divorce after 14 years of marriage. |
| 8:31
| The whole thing could have ended up more like a Hugh Grant romantic comedy. Is that sort of what that Piña Colada song is about? |
| 8:32
| Buzz once tried to write a parody to the Piña Colada song about Andrew Golatta. As it turns out the lyrics are very convoluted. It's not a bad idea though, he should get that ready just in case. |
| 8:39
| What was that drop Pete just played from Superbad? Let's tone it down a little bit OK? Just because it's in a movie doesn't mean you can play it. |
| 8:40
| Steve's mad at Superbad because he bought the Blu-Ray DVD and it doesn't work in his player. Steve bought it on Amazon so he doesn't want to deal with sending it back but he also doesn't want to buy another one. |
| 8:41
| Steve's looking for a karaoke version of The Piña Colada Song which is actually called Escape (The Piña Colada Song) which makes it harder to find. |
| 8:42
| Steve would like to do the song as Drew. It seems like a perfect song for him to do. Pat Boyle is also on the phone. |
| 8:43
| Buzz has heard this song many times and he never really knew what it was about until now. |
| 8:44
| Steve played this song a lot on the radio. After that many times you start noticing what it's about. |
| 8:45
| It seems like the couple in the song would break up, not fall more deeply in love. They're both cheating on each other, even if it's with each other. |
| 8:46
| OK, we have to take a break before getting to the sports. If Pat Boyle woke up with his wife in their bed to day he should pray to God or whoever. Get down on his knees. |
| 8:47
| Drew's trip to Disney World did not go well. Looking back it was a mistake since the people who read the Enquirer are also the people who go to Disney World. It was not the happiest place on earth. |
| 8:54
| Pat can't believe Drew didn't have a good time in Disney World. It might have been a mistake to |
| 8:55
| Steve has agreed to host the 20th annual Comcast Awards, for the March of Dimes. Pat's hosted before, is it fun? |
| 8:56
| Steve's already gotten a list of things he can't say which is pretty much everything. He can't make fun of the Sox or the Bulls because Jerry Reinsdorf is a sponsor. He can't make fun of the handicapped kids, not that he would have. |
| 8:57
| What's Steve supposed to do, go up there and tap dance for a couple of hours? That might be construed as racist though. |
| 8:58
| Steve's not stupid, he knows he can't talk about most of the stuff on this list. Maybe things were different in his drinking days but he's not drinking any more. |
| 8:59
| Harry Teinowitz asked him to do his charity, raising money for child abuse. Steve got on stage and asked how much money you need to abuse a child. The audience did not react well. |
| 9:00
| That was the last charity event Steve did until the Gilda's Club thing with Garry. Steve did work blue at that event though. |
| 9:01
| Steve only agreed to host the awards yesterday but it's already in Stella Foster's column. The event is airing live on Comcast. |
| 9:02
| Steve doesn't want to get Jerry Reinsdorf or Rocky Wirtz mad at him. He's got season tickets all over town, he doesn't need to be banned from any stadiums. |
| 9:03
| Pat thinks this will tick off Ben Gay because he was trying to get his foot in the door over at Comcast. Steve's sure he'll hear about it. |
| 9:04
| Hopefully it doesn't go down on stage though. He'll probably show up to introduce Jim Thome. He looks a lot like Buzz Lightyear. |
| 9:05
| Steve's already working on his material and it'll be good and funny. Plus he gets to wear his tux again, that thing is getting a real workout. |
| 9:06
| People are always awestruck when they see Steve in the tux which makes him wonder what he looks like normally. |
| 9:07
| Steve went to the Hawks game last night and they lost again. He did get to see his first ever penalty shot which was exciting. Pat Kane missed but he made a good move at the end. |
| 9:08
| Steve's no expert on hockey-although he's rapidly becoming one-but it seems like the players are tired plus they're missing several players. |
| 9:09
| Steve doesn't really care though, he just likes going to the games. It seems like it would be pretty fun if you could get paid to play hockey. |
| 9:10
| Imagine being able to do every bad thing you think about doing and getting paid to do it. |
| 9:11
| If you think you don't like hockey, go to a game, it'll change your mine. It probably wasn't a good idea to not televise home games for so long but Steve can see what Bill Wirtz was going for. |
| 9:12
| There's a story out of Seattle, their kicker admitted he'll be wearing heated warm-up pants for the game at Lambeau this weekend. |
| 9:13
| It seems like if you're legs are warm but the rest of your body is cold it would just mess you up. |
| 9:14
| The Cowboys may not have Terrell Owens against the Giants this weekend. Jessica Simpson won't be at the game though, she's recording a new album. |
| 9:22
| Steve did not have two brats at the Hawks game last night. He did have a cheeseburger and a Caesar salad though. |
| 9:23
| Steve didn't eat the top bun of the burger so he was trying to be balanced. Getting done with work at 10 am makes it hard to figure out when to eat. |
| 9:24
| Steve knows how to gain weight and how to maintain weight, now he needs to figure out how to lose weight. |
| 9:25
| If Steve is done at 10 am then he thinks he'll have a big meal at noon. But then he's up until 10 pm. For now he's eating every time he's hungry, which is all day. He's up over 800 pounds now. |
| 9:26
| Buzz also doesn't know what time he's supposed to eat what meal. The rest of world doesn't eat when we do though. |
| 9:27
| Steve wouldn't mind getting some sort of endorsement deal with Nutrisystem or something like that. Buzz is so hungry right now that he could eat the pencil that's in front of him. |
| 9:28
| Buzz just had his trail mix bar which might actually make him hungrier. He was hoping that he'd have a shake in the morning and then the trail mix bar would carry him over until about noon. |
| 9:29
| Song: I Want You to Want Me, Cheap Trick |
| 9:32
| Steve's been trying to play a few songs everyday because he wants to hear some music. It's also a good way to highlight Jack music. |
| 9:33
| Steve still gets emails from people who need stuff to do in the afternoons now that he's not on. Rest your brain, listen to Jack. Do you really want to listen to a bunch of hacks? |
| 9:34
| It's all just music, separated by smart-ass comments from Jack. Also there are Steve Dahl Show promos as well. |
| 9:35
| It took a while to get the promos on but just because there's a lot going on. In Todd's defense he also runs B96. Steve thinks he doesn't want to let it go just yet though. |
| 9:36
| Steve feels that a relationship has developed over the couple of months they've worked together. Steve wouldn't be surprised if they go on vacation together. He really wants that invite to Montana. |
| 9:37
| Todd's also going to Vegas for the Super Bowl, Steve wouldn't mind doing that either. Steve actually looks forward to their post-show meetings together. |
| 9:38
| Todd actually gave Steve a nice pair of sheepskin slippers and a hat from Montana for his birthday. Buzz doesn't remember a hat or slippers. |
| 9:39
| Steve is sure Buzz saw the hat and slippers. Steve wears them to every post-show meeting with Todd in hopes of getting the invite. |
| 9:40
| Seeing the slippers, Buzz does not remember them at all. Everyone else agrees that Buzz saw them. Steve's fully prepared to make Buzz's Alzheimer's work for us. It'll actually be a plus because Buzz won't roll his eyes every time Steve does something for the second time. |
| 9:46
| News with Buzz |
| 9:47
| John Kerry has endorsed Barack Obama for President which could be the kiss of death. Here's a guy who didn't evade the Vietnam draft, served in the war and still somehow got that turned against him. Why the long face? |
| 9:48
| 4 years ago John Kerry picked John Edwards as his VP but now he's suddenly high on Barack Obama? Steve thinks Kerry is jealous of Edwards' hair. He seems like the type who would do that. He's always out windsurfing trying to be a Kennedy. |
| 9:49
| It seems like a lot of rich people have the long, horse faces. Catherine the Great was rich and she had sex with horses. Maybe that's how their offspring eventually end up with horse faces. |
| 9:50
| The Iranian Navy has show a video showing their boats did not threaten U.S. navy vessels in the Straits of Hormuz. |
| 9:51
| Debra LaFave is headed back to court to determine if she violated her parole by talking to an underage female co-worker about sex and relationships. |
| 9:52
| This seems like the time for LaFave to become a stripper. It's time to hit the pole. Come up to Chicago, do a Playboy layout and then hit the stripper tour. |
| 9:53
| Her probation officer is suggesting she be sentenced to 15 years in prison. Buzz has never heard anything so unreasonable in his entire life. |
| 9:54
| Steve and Buzz need to head down to Florida and be character witnesses for her, even though they don't know her. They're just fans. |
| 9:55
| The governing body of the track and field competition is prepared to say that a double amputee is not eligible to compete against able bodied athletes. |
| 9:56
| The amputee uses J-shaped attachments on his legs, made of carbon fiber, that the governing body says gives him an unfair advantage. |
| 9:57
| There's some car commercial where a woman gets out of the car and has one of those blades on her leg. It does seem like it would be better to have those blades for running. |
| 9:58
| The other night at the Hawks game they had some amputee athletes who play hockey with similar attachments. It was very inspirational. |
