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| 5:29
| That's James Buffett there and his parody of the Drew Peterson song Bolingbrookville. Steve likes what Jimmy did with that song, he made it about drinking. |
| 5:30
| Although shame on him for ripping off Drew Peterson. Drew, who needs a divorce. He's taking a lot of heat for the Dating Game thing and he's lonely. |
| 5:31
| This is the time when he needs the solace of a broad, no matter what color she is. As a police officer you're trained to be color blind. |
| 5:32
| Buzz has been admiring Drew's beard. That means a lot coming from someone like Buzz who also has a beard. Buzz has seen a lot of beards but Drew's is the best. It came in overnight too. |
| 5:33
| Drew has a lot of testosterone built up, hence the beard. He's a stallion. How else do you think he bagged a 17 year old woman? He might have also memorized the Kama Sutra during his free time on duty. There's not much to memorize, just think of the freakiest thing you can and find a flexible woman. |
| 5:34
| Would Buzz like to hear Drew's song now? This is the version Jimmy Buffett ripped off. |
| 5:35
| Song: Bolingbrookville, Steve Dahl |
| 5:38
| Come home! If Drew had it to do over again he probably wouldn't have smirked on the Today's Show when he told Stacy to come home. |
| 5:39
| Although as a jokester who wears his heart on his sleeves (his Old Navy sleeves) it's hard not to smirk. He wanted Stacy to know that he knew what was going on. She was probably watching that from her hotel room at Sandals in Jamaica. |
| 5:40
| HI-YA! Drew was just practicing his karate, he's a karate expert. Drew and Freckle Face Grape were hoping when they called in that they'd take some of the air out of Buzz's fat friend. That is no small task by the way. Drew might have to use his karate on him. |
| 5:41
| Buzz's daughter is involved in the martial arts, Drew would be happy to come to her dojo and talk to her sensei over a cup of green tea. |
| 5:42
| Imagine Drew's karate looking like when Elvis used to do it onstage. Drew's not overweight though. It's all that testosterone. |
| 5:43
| Buzz will talk to Piper's sensei who used to work with John Belushi. A lot of good that did him. Although you can't follow a guy into a hotel room when he's with a broad and a bag full of needles. He got shot up with a Speedball which was probably fun at first but then he went into coronary arrest. |
| 5:44
| Buzz saw warnings about coronary arrest for Super Bowl viewers. Drew's making his famous 5-alarm turkey chili for the game. HI-YA! |
| 5:45
| Buzz admires Drew's karate skills, he's really got the moves down. He's a 20th degree black belt. There's not even a color black enough for how black his belt is. |
| 5:46
| So Drew wants a divorce, that's what he's been telling people. Buzz wonders if Stacy needs to be present for that? That's why Drew's seeking legal counsel. |
| 5:47
| Hi-YA! Buzz can't believe how quick Drew's reflexes are, he's like a cat. You have to have an eye in the back of your head. |
| 5:48
| Drew says he's ready for his fourth divorce but he can't do that for a year or so. Illinois State Police think Stacy might have been killed. Peterson is their only suspect. Drew believes Stacy ran off with a secret lover. |
| 5:49
| Drew said he might also be interested in retaining Chicago divorce attorney Corri Fetman, who posed nude for February's Playboy. She also promoted her practice in a series of racy billboards. |
| 5:50
| It would make the meetings with the lawyer much more fun if you've seen her naked. You don't even need to spend time undressing her with your eyes. |
| 5:51
| Drew told Fetman to give him a call if she wants to get drinks. It seems like Drew is the next step after the billboards and the Playboy. |
| 5:52
| Fetman has to be pretty hot, they don't have an ugly section in Playboy. Although if she needs something like a boob job or hair removal or a tummy tuck, that's possible. |
| 5:58
| Drew told Bill Kurtis he had a weird feeling when he first met Stacy. You know where that feeling was? In his pants! |
| 5:59
| Drew didn't really talk to Bill Kurtis. Bill takes other people's interviews and pretends they're his. He's the Mancow of cable TV. |
| 6:00
| The one bad thing about talking like Drew is Steve can't stop. He could do it for the entire show because it's quite enjoyable. |
| 6:01
| Yesterday in Steve's blog he might have mentioned there was a part of him that was attracted to Rachael Ray. She's quite perky and there's a part of Steve that wants to take the perk right out of her and leave her disassembled and suicidal. She was also making big giant burgers when Steve was watching her show. |
| 6:02
| Steve also found himself attracted to Judge Judy on the same day. He'd never seen that show up until Tuesday, she's really mean. She's mean to everybody, why would you want to be on that show? From what Steve could tell no one comes out of it unscathed. You might win the judgment but you'll still be taken down a few notches. |
| 6:03
| Somehow Steve has tapped into a community of Rachael Ray haters. This is what's wrong with the internet. Who hates someone that much? |
| 6:04
| Steve's not prepared to read the email, he can't find it. Maybe Tina or Stephanie or someone else in the email department could look for it. He got another email from the woman this morning. |
| 6:05
| She said she'd be available to talk about Rachael this morning and then listed all the places she'd be this morning and what the phone number was. She's like the Ron Lewis of hating Rachael Ray. |
| 6:06
| Steve found the email. The woman went to Cabo with the show but when she saw Steve's blog she wanted to let him know how fake Rachael Ray is. Of course she's fake, she's on TV. |
| 6:07
| Steve doesn't want to marry her, he just wants to defile her after she makes him lunch. Then maybe leave with some leftovers in a Ziploc bag. |
| 6:08
| The woman calls her community "harsh" and by community she means people who hate Rachael Ray. As far as Steve can tell there are only 2 people on this messageboard. |
| 6:09
| The woman also accuses Rachael Ray of dumbing down America. That happened a while ago, you can't blame that on Rachael Ray. |
| 6:10
| According to the emailer Rachael has also founded an charity called Yummo but no one in the community has found anything good she's done. Their mission statement is very vague. |
| 6:11
| The woman originally posted on her messageboard that Steve had written about Rachael Ray on her blog and he didn't know what he was getting in to. It's not like Rachael Ray called Steve or anything. |
| 6:12
| The woman posted some stuff from Steve's blog and then someone else freaked out and thought she was saying that about Rachael Ray. Then she freaked out and had to explain herself. Meanwhile Rachael Ray's probably pulling down $5 million a year. |
| 6:13
| Caller Ed stumbled across a TV biography on Rachael Ray and they mentioned her photos in Maxim. He checked them out, they're not bad but would have been better naked. |
| 6:14
| This Rachael Ray hater makes Steve want her more. Steve's looking at the photos now, it doesn't look too bad at all. |
| 6:15
| Does Buzz want to hear more Rachael Ray hatred? In one post Ray is taken to task for not knowing the difference between Mexican and Tex-Mex. Who cares that much?! |
| 6:16
| Rachael always claims the meal is healthy. If it has vegetables then it's healthy. Fries are potatoes so they must be healthy right? By that logic cocaine served with lettuce is also healthy! |
| 6:17
| Finally Rachael Ray soaks some tortillas in oil to make them more pliable, even though you could do that with a microwave. Rachael Ray loves her microwave! |
| 6:18
| Buzz feels this is a ready-made SNL character. At least we know where the woman is if we want to call her. |
| 6:24
| Rachael Ray seems alright to Steve but apparently there are a lot of people who hate her. |
| 6:25
| Steve only knows about one particular website because the woman emailed him. She was worried that he was going to become intimate with Rachael Ray. Steve wouldn't be intimate, he'd be distant. |
| 6:26
| Apparently Mark Czerniec hates her too because he's sending him to a lot of other Rachael Ray websites. Buzz is wondering what Mark finds so offensive about her. Do we want to tap into that? |
| 6:27
| Mark probably considers himself a foodie and Ray is not a foodie. She's not a trained chef. Although Steve doesn't want to speak for Mark, he can call in if he wants. |
| 6:28
| Steve also liked her show where she went to different cities and ate for $40 a day. Although she never tips anyone. |
| 6:29
| Mark Czerniec is on the phone. He doesn't hate Rachael Ray he just finds her annoying. If she comes on TV he changes the channel but he doesn't post on any messageboards. |
| 6:30
| Mark's feelings about her go back to a post Anthony Bourdain made about her. She's not a very good cook. Has she ever said she was? She's just a cute girl, a personality. |
| 6:31
| The first time Steve met Anthony Bourdain he called him Boudrain for the entire interview. He didn't correct him because the interview was taking place in Steve's hotel room. |
| 6:32
| Bourdain says in a post that you can complain about Rachael Ray all you want but it's like railing against the pounding surf. Rachael sells satisfaction, the reassurance that mediocrity is enough. |
| 6:33
| According to Bourdain, watching Rachael Ray makes you think that you can cook what she's cooking but you won't. Steve felt the same way watching her make burgers. At least Bourdain is funny about it. He'd probably do her though. |
| 6:34
| This only makes Steve want Rachael Ray more. She might be from here too. She sounds like she's from here at least. She's spunky and that's what you want to beat out of her. You want to leave her hopeless and then call her in a week to build her back up. |
| 6:35
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 6:36
| Caller Cathy was online this morning and saw an article about TV chefs. She's not a chef though, that's why people get mad. According to the article she made $16 million last year. How hot is that?! |
| 6:37
| People probably don't like that she does TV commercials for Triscuits. She's got the power of Oprah behind her although she was doing fine on the Food Network. Steve likes her old timey stove with the broiler on top that you have to crank up. |
| 6:38
| Song: Lightning Crashes, Live |
| 6:42
| Steve likes that song, he's recently run while listening to it for an hour. He only recently realized the word "placenta' is in the song. You don't hear a lot of songs that use "placenta" you have to give the kid credit. |
| 6:48
| Steve calls up to the office. There are Paczki's in the kitchen if Tina wants some. Steve and Buzz find them oddly unsatisfying. |
| 6:49
| Tina noticed they looked more like fake Paczki's. So they're her Rachael Ray. Is she going to start a website about them? |
| 6:50
| It seems like something has been left out the Paczki's. The donut part is fine but the filling is missing sugar. If Steve's going to eat a donut he wants some sugar! |
| 6:51
| Polish Paczki day is the Thursday before Fat Tuesday. Of course it is. |
| 6:52
| Steve needs to talk to Stephanie who's a Rachael Ray hater. She said she has no boobs and no butt. Stephanie doesn't mind a little meat on the bones but Rachael Ray has it in the wrong place. |
| 6:53
| Speaking of full figures, Buzz is wondering if Stephanie has seen the naked, bronze sculpture of Oprah. Where is that, in his living room? Buzz saw it on the Drudge Report. |
| 6:54
| Steve doesn't even know how to get to the Drudge Report. It's not Drudge.com is it? Buzz thought it was but that's actually something called Drudge Retort. Has Buzz been reading the wrong page all this time? |
| 6:55
| Drudgereport.com is the website. How can you respect a guy who can't even get his own name for a URL? Someone else beat him to it. |
| 6:56
| American sculptor Daniel Edwards has created The Oprah Sarcophagus. He's also the guy who created the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton sculptures. |
| 6:57
| OK time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "do you act out when you don't get your way?" 47% of the people said yes. Steve doesn't act out because he always gets his way, from years of acting out. Just the threat of him acting out is enough. |
| 6:58
| Today's web poll question is "are you planning a party for the Big Game?" Of course you can't say Super Bowl. Buzz heard a promo on the Sci-Fi channel for the Battlestar Galactica marathon on Super Bowl Sunday. |
| 6:59
| This is from Life & Style Magazine, an article on how to pig out during the Super Bowl and stay healthy. Buzz will find a lot of these suggestions very stupid. |
| 7:00
| According to author Matt Goulding it's possible to consume 4,000 calories by the end of the third quarter. Steve could do that in the first quarter. |
| 7:01
| Steve got some Lil Smokeys from Peapod yesterday for the game. He's back ordering from them after the last time when the woman wouldn't bring the food into the house. They sent two delivery guys, perhaps for safety purposes. |
| 7:02
| Goulding suggests a plan for eating on Super Bowl Sunday. Try binging on healthier food. Instead of a nacho try corn chips topped with beans, low fat cheese, salsa and guacamole. Another suggestion is just having guacamole. Do you need to write a book about that? Take out the meat and the cheese, it's healthier, DUH! |
| 7:03
| Instead of the 12 inch sub try a few slices of whole wheat bread with lean meat. Is this really a book? |
| 7:04
| Instead of having fried chicken, have baked chicken. Really? To save 300 calories Steve would rather have fried chicken. |
| 7:05
| Instead of chips and onion dip, hummus and pita. Buzz says no to that. Steve's seen those pita bags, they seem worse than chips. 6 potato chips and onion dip is 300 calories? No way, this isn't even accurate. |
| 7:06
| Steve's fallen prey to those pita chips. He bought a bag and there were about a million calories in there. Those must have been fried, this guy is recommending baked pita. Who wants baked pita chips and garbanzo beans spread on there? Nothing says Super Bowl like bland Middle Eastern food. |
| 7:07
| Finally he suggests light beer over dark beer. Doesn't everyone already know that?! How does this become a book? |
| 7:08
| Steve wants a book that tells him how to make it so he wants to have baked chicken instead of fried chicken. |
| 7:09
| News with Buzz |
| 7:10
| Beginning today motorists will not proper documents to cross the border into Mexico or Canada. What kind of document, a $20? Steve saw something about wallet-sized passports, he'd like to get one. The book is cool though. |
| 7:11
| Police and paramedics arrived at Britney's house last night and took her to the hospital. According to TMZ she'll be placed on psychiatric hold. Steve needs to go out there and rescue her. |
| 7:12
| TMZ has learned that plans to get Britney into the UCLA medical center were hatched days ago. Steve went to UCLA for about 90 minutes. He was taking a speech class and in the first class the teacher made everyone walk around with books on their heads to display posture. The guy just kept making fun of Steve so he left. |
| 7:13
| According to TMZ Britney's psychiatrist was at her house and told her she was going to the hospital. She asked if anything was wrong. She was not resistant and made some hot chocolate before paramedics arrived. |
| 7:14
| In an ironic twist Britney's mom drove to the hospital in the same car as Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she was dating. Ghalib just recently had a flat tire. That seems to happen a lot out there. People don't know they have a spare in the trunk, they just leave the car on the road and get a new one. |
| 7:22
| Back to Buzz in the news room. |
| 7:23
| Rudy Giuliani and John Edwards have dropped out of the Presidential race. Giuliani has endorsed John McCain. It seems like a weight off Rudy's shoulder, now he can go back to charging a lot of money to talk about 9/11. |
| 7:24
| John Edwards has yet to endorse a candidate. Maybe he's waiting to see how he should endorse. Perhaps Ron Paul? Ron Paul sounds like the name of a hairdresser. |
| 7:25
| Meanwhile, Attorney General Michael Mukasey continues to evade the issue of waterboarding as torture. Senator Patrick Leahy asked Mukasey if it would be torture if it was done to him. He said it would feel like it. |
| 7:26
| When did waterboarding become the torture du jour? Of course it's torture, who cares?! |
| 7:27
| Steve doesn't want to correct Buzz but that was Ted Kennedy who asked Mukasey the question. Steve calls down to the newsroom. Jim says it was Kennedy but there was some confusion because another audio cut on the story was Patrick Leahy. |
| 7:28
| Jim didn't seem interested in answering Steve's questions. Probably because he knows Buzz is going to come down there during the break and throw a paczki at him. |
| 7:29
| Drew Peterson wants a divorce. Steve's looking for the Playboy issue with that divorce attorney in it. It seems like it should be delivered to him by the nude Playboy model. |
| 7:30
| More snow is expected to fall tonight and tomorrow. Steve saw Amy Freeze refer to the expected snowfall as "half a foot". Steve's going to start marketing himself as half a foot, it sounds much better. |
| 7:31
| Authorities say the man driving the snowmobile when Randy Salerno died had a blood-alcohol leave three times the legal limit. |
| 7:32
| That guy was a pallbearer in Salerno's funeral but they wouldn't show who he was during CBS's coverage. Steve likes Randy Salerno but why was that funeral on TV, wire to wire? |
| 7:33
| It was on TV because Joe Ahern gave a eulogy and he likes to see himself on TV. Plus it allows Joe to show that TV reporters are important. |
| 7:34
| Joe said that pray as he might he can't bring Randy back. Joe can't even make his news #2 in Chicago. |
| 7:35
| Residents of a Michigan town are outraged after authorities sprayed pepper spray into a crowd at Chuck E. Cheese. |
| 7:36
| They don't like pepper on their pizza? Police were called after three teenage girls got into a fight. It turned into a brawl involving 80 people. |
| 7:37
| Buzz wants to know if pizza is the specialty at Chuck E. Cheese. What planet is Buzz really from? Why doesn't he just lay out all of his interplanetary cards on the table. We welcome Buzz, wherever he's from. Buzz's daughter goes to Chuck E. Cheese all the time but he doesn't know what they serve. That's Being Buzz Kilman. He doesn't go to Chuck E. Cheese with Piper and he doesn't ask her what she ate. |
| 7:38
| That Chuck E. Cheese is in the same town in Michigan where that restaurant servers breakfast pizza. They don't open until 8 am though. |
| 7:39
| Chuck E. Cheese has pizza and a play area, that's what they're known for. Buzz has seen the kid pictured with a giant rat which is appetizing. |
| 7:40
| Steve remembers they serve beer because he used to get hammered when he went there. He thought they were associated with Little Caesar's at some point. |
| 7:49
| Caller Cliff is recommending people avoid Chuck E. Cheese on Fridays and Saturdays. After 6 the parents can get pretty rowdy. That's what happens when you sell beer by the pitcher and wine by the liter. |
| 7:50
| Steve recommends using the changing station as a place to regroup after your drinking. Cliff has a 5-year-old, he goes to Chuck E. Cheese about once a month. |
| 7:51
| Is it time for Steve to take Cliff back now that Garry Meier's not on the air? |
| 7:52
| Cliff loves the morning show. He actually changed his work hours so he could drive in and listen to Steve. He has the show on in the warehouse too. He used to stay past 3 in the afternoon because he could listen to Steve but he doesn't any more. |
| 7:53
| Cliff works in the dock but he's not wearing one of those kidney belts. He's in the office. Those belts make you look like a wimp, at least put them on under your shirt. |
| 7:54
| Buzz was thinking of getting one of those but he's always pumping iron back in the newsroom. It's like a gym in there. |
| 7:55
| Caller Marty's phone sounds goofy. His daughter works for Chuck E. Cheese and the mascot is a mouse, not a rat. They can't have a rat around food! |
| 7:57
| Buzz disputes Marty's claim. Before a 1995 facelift the mascot was identified as a rat. Either way it's not appetizing around food. |
| 7:58
| Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theater was launched by Atari founder Nolan Bushnell. The purpose was to introduce video games to a younger audience in a family setting. |
| 7:59
| Pizza Time Theater went public in 1981 but the evolving game industry resulted in significant loses. They lost $15 million in 1983 and by 1984 Bushnell's debts were insurmountable and he filed for bankruptcy. |
| 8:00
| Showbiz Pizza then bought the company. So there are no more Showbiz Pizza places any more? |
| 8:01
| Caller Kelly wanted to let Steve know that Chuck E. Cheese is still around but there are no Showbiz Pizzas. Steve's been to Showbiz with his boys. They had giant apes. |
| 8:02
| Kelly's daughter is terrified of the person in the giant mouse costume. She loves everything else though. So Kelly's taking her to a place where fear lurks everywhere? |
| 8:03
| So there are no Showbiz Pizzas any more. Steve remembers band that played, weren't they all monkeys though? |
| 8:04
| A 3-year-old girl is recovering after being maced at a Chuck E. Cheese in Flint Township, MI. That's where Michael Moore filmed a lot of Roger & Me. After the auto industry left that town never recovered. It's a God forsaken hole but at least it has a Chuck E. Cheese. |
| 8:05
| A brawl broke out on Saturday and another brawl broke out on Sunday. The police have been called to that Chuck E. Cheese 30 times. |
| 8:06
| Did Buzz see that video of the girl's basketball fight on Martin Luther King day? The woman who organizes it, her team got into a fight with another team. The woman didn't think the fight would tarnish the tournament's image. What?! |
| 8:07
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:08
| Last Summer David Hochberg was on the Noon Business Hour with Sherman Kaplan. Steve heard it on the way to a remote broadcast at Papi Chulo's. It was a nice place but the stage was right in the sun and Steve and Buzz cooked. Buzz did a little better in his white jeans. |
| 8:09
| When David was on the Noon Business Hour he said the Fed should freeze interest rates. Sherman basically kicked him off the show but now everyone is saying that. |
| 8:10
| At the time it seemed hairbrained to Steve but David's a good salesman and he convinced him. |
| 8:11
| Of course when you say David's name he calls right in. He's very responsive. Steve can see how Sherman Kaplan thought it was hairbrained because at the time it was just the tip of the iceberg. David's like the guy on the Titanic selling the captain something is wrong. |
| 8:12
| David doesn't think he's going to get an apology from Sherman Kaplan although he did tell Drew Hayes a couple of months ago that David was right. |
| 8:13
| Drew is of course the former program director of WCKG. Steve would like to once again point out the WCKG curse. Terry Armour passed away. David also mentioned Randy Salerno. |
| 8:14
| Does David know we're on the air? This isn't his show where he talks to some schmuck real estate guy. Colin Hebson was David's real estate guy, his dog Seamus is a legend. |
| 8:15
| What the hell was that? Did David as Colin about that on The WInd? David didn't even know about the story of Colin's dog being stolen until his brother told him that Steve was talking about it. |
| 8:16
| So David was right about all that. Eventually people got sick of their house being worth less and less money. Steve still doesn't understand how people could read those mortgage agreements without looking at the fine print. |
| 8:17
| Buzz read somewhere that a lot of the problem was that minorities are traditionally afraid to do business with banks. Instead they did business with unregulated mortgage companies. So maybe the loan wasn't explained properly. |
| 8:23
| It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell or thereabouts. Today is Make a Date with Steve day. He was supposed to solicit a date but he forgot. How long can that take? |
| 8:24
| Steve might go with the Cheesy Gordita Crunch today. Tomorrow Steve and Buzz will have a taco to eat. |
| 8:25
| There is a person on the phone but apparently they're going through a very long and in-depth pre-interview process with Brendan. And of course the faster Brendan tries to go the slower it is. |
| 8:26
| Caller Dennis is Steve's Taco Pal today. They're going to have lunch today but separately. Dennis is on the road so he'll be stopping at several Taco Bells today to get different items. |
| 8:27
| At the next stop Dennis will get the Fiesta Potatoes. What are those, Steve has never had them. They're seasoned potatoes with nacho cheese and some other stuff. |
| 8:28
| Steve's going to look it up although it seems like he should know. It's hard to keep up because the Taco Bell people are always fashioning new treats with the same ingredients. That's the genius of it! |
| 8:29
| Earlier today Steve read about how Drew wants a divorce. He can't get that going for at least a year though. |
| 8:30
| Drew's taking a lot of flak for that Dating Game thing though. 3 months is like an eternity without female companionship. It's like he's in prison, a prison of the media's own making. |
| 8:31
| Drew's trying to contact this divorce attorney. Don't forget he's also a karate expert. He's a 20th degree black belt. That's blacker than a black hole in space. |
| 8:32
| Does Buzz prefer when the articles are translated into the first person? It seems better that way. |
| 8:33
| Drew wants a divorce because he thinks Stacy ran away with another man. She's been missing for 3 months and Drew's the only suspect. |
| 8:34
| Why is he the only suspect? What about the Bogeyman? Or UFO abduction? She could be at Sandals in Jamaica. She could even be at Woodfield, still looking for her car in the parking lot. |
| 8:35
| That mall is confusing, there are three Gaps there. You don't know which one you went in near. Drew likes to use the food court as his starting point. |
| 8:36
| Drew is tired of waiting for Stacy to return. He begged her to come home, what else is he supposed to do? He's a man, he has needs and testosterone. Sometimes when a man is grieving the best thing for that is sex. |
| 8:37
| Drew already has an attorney representing him, Freckle Face Grape, while under suspicion for Stacy's disappearance. Drew has changed Brodsky's name back to Freckle Face Grape. |
| 8:38
| Hey Buzz, check out Drew's beard! It only took one day to come in. How long did it take Buzz? Months! |
| 8:39
| Drew is interested in retaining hot broad divorce attorney Corri Fetman. She recently appeared in Playboy and advertised her law firm in a series of racy billboards. |
| 8:40
| Drew has the February Playboy but he can't find any photos of Fetman. Actually Brendan was looking and he seems to have become distracted with something else. |
| 8:41
| Steve the engineer was in the studio while they were looking for her. He grabbed the magazine and flipped to the middle, thinking they were looking for the girl on the cover. |
| 8:42
| Everyone knows how to find that girl, she's always in the middle. But he was acting like he was some explorer. Hey, Vasgo de Gamma! The Queen of Spain wants her galleons back! |
| 8:43
| Caller Bill is over by Crystal Lake. He wanted to let Drew know that Fetman didn't make the magazine, she's online. |
| 8:51
| How could Brendan not see Corri Fetman in Playboy, it's right there. It says Scorcher in the Court! |
| 8:52
| There she is right there, naked. It wasn't more front and center because Playboy's publishing time is very far ahead. |
| 8:53
| Fetman's law firm came under fire last May for a series of racy billboards that said "life is short, get divorced." |
| 8:54
| She's gotten a lot of good feedback about the billboards from all around the world. |
| 8:55
| They wanted something hot and light-hearted for their billboard, not just lawyers in suits. |
| 8:56
| Fetman looked at stock photos and didn't like any of the models and she didn't want to pay anyone to model so her and her personal trainer posed. |
| 8:57
| Fetman says that her blond hair and breasts make people underestimate her. One client calls her the Barracuda Barbie. That is so hot. |
| 8:58
| Every time Stacy had her menstrual cycle she wanted a divorce. It gets old after a while. |
| 8:59
| Hopefully Fetman contacts Drew because he needs legal advice. His wife is missing. He can't suffer the indignations and accusations because he's trying to date. |
| 9:00 | News with Buzz |
| 9:01
| Barack Obama has said if he wins the election he will hold a summit with Muslim nations to help improve the global image of the U.S. |
| 9:02
| An Afghani journalist has been sentenced to death for downloading information about women's rights. |
| 9:03
| Afghani officials have said the sentence is not final. So maybe he'll just get life? It seems like the death penalty is preferable to life in an Afghani prison. |
| 9:04
| John McCain may pick up the endorsement of Arnold Schwarzenegger today. Will that help him in California? Don't they hate Arnold? You always the people who are in power. Steve knows he hates Blago. |
| 9:05
| Buzz didn't think Steve always hated him, we had him on once. That was a Dan Falato ploy. Why does Buzz always remember the stuff Steve doesn't want to remember? For the record Steve said he thought he looked like an abortionist. |
| 9:06
| There was a time when Dan Falato was producer and he was trying to make Steve politically relevant. He doesn't want to be politically relevant. |
| 9:07
| TMZ says Britney Spears parents have been told by Sam Lufti that they're not in charge any more. Steve feels sorry for Britney but she needs to get it together. |
| 9:08
| A 14-year New York police veteran is facing allegations that he acted as a pimp to 13-year-old runaway. |
| 9:10
| The girlfriend of Max Baer Jr. died after shooting herself in the head. Baer, 70, lived with his girlfriend, 30. Kudos to Jethro for getting that. |
| 9:11
| Drew would be interested in dating Donna Douglas but only if he could go back in time to the 60's. He do her right next to the cement pond with all the critters watching. |
| 9:12
| A Miami-Dade school is under lockdown after two mothers got into a violent confrontation. The women both have children by the same father. It's the PTA UFC. |
| 9:20
| Our own Adam is in the middle of a full-out war with Ed Silha (S-I-L-H-A!) over computer stuff. |
| 9:21
| Part of it might be Steve's fault because he toys with them. It's like having an ant farm filled with nerds. |
| 9:22
| Ed has made a hideous discovery on Buzz's computer. Apparently the new version of Quicktime won't play the news cuts from the website Buzz uses. |
| 9:23
| Just to make sure all the bases were covered Buzz posed the question to Ed. Big mistake! He thought it would be good to have two people working independently on the project. |
| 9:24
| Steve tried that once, it was a big mistake. They're both bossy so they don't work well together. |
| 9:25
| Steve was involved in a back and forth between Ed and Adam yesterday. Someone sent Steve a link to an application that allows you to view websites much easier on the iPhone. |
| 9:26
| Ed didn't think it was a good idea so Steve decided to have Adam ask him about it. Steve didn't realize that he'd be copied in on every email. At one point Ed told Adam that under no circumstances would Adam get access to the Dahl.com FTP server. |
| 9:27
| Steve needs Ed and Adam to call in because he doesn't understand any of it but they can't see the funny in it. |
| 9:28
| Adam is cold in his own way though. He just sits back in his office in the dark, like the judge in The Natural. |
| 9:29
| Ed Silha (S-I-L-H-A, party of one!) is on the phone. Ed and Adam had a bit of a dust-up yesterday although Ed doesn't think it was like that. He can see the funny in it too. |
| 9:30
| Steve found all the emails. There's even one when Ed gets mad at Steve. Steve should probably bring Adam on this, do it up right. |
| 9:31
| Steve needs to dismiss Peanut Butter for today, he's off the hook. Did the wake-up call not come, is that the story we're going with? Steve will at least make it official with the Peanut Butter Jelly song. |
| 9:32
| There's not much to report anyway, the Bulls and the Hawks got blown out. The Hawks needs to get rid of Khabibulin, he's the highest paid player on the team and he sucks. |
| 9:33
| He's just a nickname passing as a goalie. The Berlin Wall isn't even around any more! |
| 9:34
| Alright, Steve's going to call down to The Judge down in his darkened office. Ed doesn't understand why he can't just walk 20 feet down to the studio. |
| 9:35
| Steve set Ed up by putting Adam on him about the iPhone. Ed's always belittling Steve's iPhone because it doesn't have the fastest AT & T broadband connection. |
| 9:36
| Steve likes the iPhone because it's colorful. It's like a Fisher-Price phone. |
| 9:37
| Adam could have handled the problem himself, it's a very simple procedure. Here we go! Steve might need to bring Ed and Adam in, they're like undercover agents who have been in the field too long. |
| 9:38
| There's a change that can be made and Adam can do it but Ed won't let him. Ed doesn't think it's as simple as Adam thinks. |
| 9:39
| Steve doesn't have the best email where Ed tells Adam he'll never have access to the FTP server. Adam doesn't understand why he can't have access. Do you have to be a mechanic to drive a car?! |
| 9:40
| Ed's fear is that the website will get screwed up again. There was a time when people had too much access to the site and if one wrong button was pressed the whole site got screwed up. |
| 9:41
| What can Adam do to earn Ed's trust? What if, God forbid, something should happen to Ed? Ed gave a document to Ron Lewis with all the necessary information. |
| 9:42
| Ed said he's not in favor of making changes to the code of Dahl.com that would only be noticed by a small number of people. Buzz thought small was a reference to Adam which seemed uncalled for. |
| 9:43
| Ed's hatred of the iPhone is legendary! He thinks only about 50 people would use a function that makes Dahl.com easier to view on an iPhone. IPhone's don't support Flash which is important for Dahl.com |
| 9:44
| It's hard to talk like Ed. He said he'd email the guy who initially sent Steve the email and test something out. Buzz feels the chances of a reconciliation here are minimal. |
| 9:45
| Ed ends by saying "Steve, if you want something on the website, ask me!" Ed didn't mean it to come off that way but it did. |
| 9:46
| It seems like an admonishment. It's fine until Steve is lectured about his own website. |
| 9:51
| Steve will have to work with Ed and Adam behind the scenes. That's quite a scene too. Ed's hatred of the iPhone is legendary. |
| 9:52
| The new Mac operating system has a back-up program with a wireless hard drive you connect to. Steve is attracted to that for some reason. |
| 9:53
| If Steve took Adam to a hockey game their butts wouldn't touch together. When Steve took Ed to the Hawks game their butts touched. Ed didn't scooch either. It's his job to scooch. |
| 9:54
| Ed doesn't seem like much a scoocher to Steve. He doesn't realize his spread sometimes. |
| 9:55
| Ed is back on the phone. He wants Steve to drop up the Mac Time Capsule. It works fine but it's too slow for Steve's needs. He'll put one in at the house but not at work. |
| 9:56
| Who put Ed in charge? Did an angel come and talk to him when he was in the hospital? Neither of them will back down. But then Steve has to back down. Remember when Adam came in and yelled at him about the coffee mugs? |
| 9:57
| Adams's still working on some Steve Dahl travel mugs. In the meantime he has one of those Brugo mugs with the cooling chamber. |
| 9:58
| Steve thought it worked but he was having trouble tipping the coffee back into the chamber. He'll just let the website explain the mug. |
| 9:59
| Tipping your coffee the way they want you to is counter-intuitive. Plus Steve wants to fill the entire cooling chamber up. |
| 10:00
| Buzz rides in every morning with a cup of coffee. For the entire trip he worries about that coffee. Steve wants this mug to work but tipping your coffee goes against everything we as humans have been told. |
