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| 5:31
| That'd be Don Henley and the fine Dirty Laundry song. Steve's going to tell Buzz about the song because he wants to become the next Casey Kasem. Buzz thinks he might be too chatty for that. |
| 5:32
| When Steve was a kid Casey Kasem was on KRLA which might have stood for Radio LA although it was in Pasadena. He was on middays and Steve used to go down and look in the window. He knew he wanted to do that. someday. |
| 5:33
| Buzz still sees Steve pressing his face up to the window of the WGN studios on Michigan Avenue. Those guys are so cool. All Steve has to do to become Steve Cochran is be involved in a head-on collision and then lose his sense of humor. |
| 5:34
| Kasem used to say he was "Casin' the hits". Then he moved on to the top 40 countdown which Ryan Seacrest does now. Steve's been watching a lot of American Idol because it's the tryout portion. |
| 5:35
| Steve didn't watch it last night because he was shoveling his driveway. Steve's trainer canceled yesterday afternoon so he just went home and started snacking. He planned on shoveling his driveway in the afternoon but then the plow guy showed up. |
| 5:36
| Steve and his plow guy are not on the same page. First of all, he keeps sending a Mexican guy over. Steve loves Mexicans but he's pretty sure Mexicans and snow don't mix. Plus the truck he's driving has bald tires so his wheels are always spinning. It's just a matter of time before he goes through the front window of the house. |
| 5:37
| Steve went out later that night and shoveled again because it kept snowing all afternoon. Steve also has issues with the plow guys from the village he lives in. They push all the snow up the hill right into Steve's driveway. |
| 5:38
| Janet's on the village board, you'd think they'd get better plow service. But they actually get worse plow service, probably because everyone hates you if you're on the village board. Everyday they play Steve has to go out there with his Toro and blow all that snow back into the street. |
| 5:39
| It was right back in his driveway this morning though, it's like a war. Steve's thinking of getting a flamethrower and melting all the snow. Are those illegal? |
| 5:40
| Dirty Laundry is a song by Don Henley that he wrote along with Danny Kortchmar, or Kortcheroo as he's referred to in some James Taylor song. It's from Henley's 1982 solo album I Can't Stand Still. |
| 5:41
| In the Eagles Farewell I tour Live from Melbourne concert DVD, Henley dedicated the song to Rupert Murdoch. That probably killed him. It definitely slowed him down didn't it? |
| 5:42
| Caller Jerry lives down in Plainfield. Is he still looking for Lisa Stebic? Steve feels bad that everyone has stopped looking for her just because he husband isn't a jerk like Drew Peterson. |
| 5:43
| Jerry has a problem with a neighbor who always leaves their car in the street. So the plow goes around that and right into his driveway. He bought a propane torch from Home Depot and he just melts all the snow. So Steve has access to something like that? |
| 5:44
| You can pick up a 20 foot cord so you just set the tank down and they light it up. How does Steve light it up, does he use a Bic? You can pick up one of those welding strikers in the Welding Section of Home Depot. |
| 5:45
| There's a Welding Section?! Steve would never go into the Welding Section because he doesn't weld. He doesn't even really understand the concept of welding. It seems like if something needs to be welded a professional should be doing it. |
| 5:46
| How crazy is it going to looking when Steve's out there with a torch melting snow? It looks really great at 3 am. |
| 5:47
| Jerry's wife loves the show now that it's on in the mornings. She really loves the Drew Peterson stuff. Drew hasn't really done much lately. That divorce attorney stuff was great though. |
| 5:48
| Jerry actually ran into Drew at a Speedway gas station. He stepped in front of him in line and bought a pack of Salem 100's. Aren't those women's cigarettes? |
| 5:56
| Getting back to Dirty Laundry, because Steve's hoping to become the next Casey Kasem. Hopefully someone will off him a syndicated show and he'll get paid $5 million a year. Steve would do it for $1 million. |
| 5:57
| It probably takes a half hour to record that countdown because it's all voice tracked. Someone just writes the script for you and you read it. It's better than voiceover work because you don't have a client. |
| 5:58
| Dirty Laundry is about the loss of integrity in evening news broadcasts. It's sung from the standpoint of a news anchorman. The guitar solo was performed by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd. Steve did not know that. |
| 5:59
| In November of 1980 Henley was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor and possession of marijuana, Quaaludes and cocaine. That's what Steve misses about the 80s. You could do all that and still not going to jail. |
| 6:00
| These days you'd for sure go to jail for all the drugs, plus you have a nude, whacked-out 16-year-old girl in your hot tub. The incident was a big influence on the song. It's funny that he can go through all of that and come out the victim. |
| 6:01
| Not even the 16-year-old girl was a victim. As Steve recalls her mom delivered her to the house. |
| 6:02
| Steve and Buzz seem to disagree on how the paparazzi treat Britney Spears. Steve thinks they're making her crazy. Buzz needs to see the footage of her leaving the hospital. |
| 6:03
| As soon as she gets out of the hospital she's surrounded by photographers yelling stuff at her. Then they all follow her in their cars and every time they're at a stoplight they get out and take more photos of her. |
| 6:04
| Buzz has heard about at least one paparazzi who quit his paper because he feels things are going too far. So even they recognize they've crossed a line. |
| 6:05
| Steve was going to go out to L.A. this weekend to visit his mom. He hasn't been out there in three years. He's not sure if he wants to go though because he needs to be back on Monday night for that Comcast Sports Awards. |
| 6:06
| On the other hand she's staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Buzz just got some breaking news that she left that hotel, moments ago, with Adnan. Steve feels he'd have no problem getting that guy out of the picture. |
| 6:07
| The Beverly Hills Hotel was featured on the album cover of Hotel California. That seems appropriate for Britney, you can check out but you can never leave. |
| 6:08
| It would be easier for Steve if she was in a hotel and not her house. Although security seems lax around here. Maybe he could call up Clooney and stay at his place. Cloo-dog loves Steve. |
| 6:09
| Steve may have found the blow torch he's looking for to melt snow from his driveway. It's the Red Dragon hand-held propane torch kit. It comes with everything but the propane tank which Steve can get at the gas station. |
| 6:10
| Flaming is of course the world's oldest, most natural method of eliminating unwanted vegetation. You can use the torch to flame weeds in your garden, thaw frozen water pipers and melt ice and snow. |
| 6:11
| You can also use the torch to heat metal castings, pipe and tubing, branding irons, pots, kettles, tar, asphalt and roofing materials. You can also sterilize bird and animal cages. It might also be a good dog doo remover. |
| 6:12
| Steve really doesn't have anything in his house that can heat up a branding iron. Buzz is surprised flamethrowers aren't a bigger business. |
| 6:13
| You can get the liquid torch or a jet torch kit. That might be a little too much for Steve, he'll probably stick with the liquid torch. It'll be quite a sight for the neighbors though. They'll all want one once they see Steve in action. |
| 6:14
| In the summer Steve does get weeds in the cracks of his brick driveway. He could take care of those and throw some hot dogs down there to cook as well. |
| 6:15
| This is going to be awesome, at least until Steve sets the house on fire. |
| 6:16
| Caller Mike's brother-in-law lives on 5 acres in Indiana. He was trying to clear out a path for people to walk through and he came across a bee hive in the ground. |
| 6:17
| Steve's pretty sure bees don't live in the ground, those might be hornets. He's into bee keeping. Ever seen Ulee's Gold? That's about Steve. |
| 6:18
| MIke needs to slow down a bit, we're on until 10 am, let's milk this. First of all going back to the bees, the Joebees people have been contacting Steve. He could be the next High Hive Me guy! |
| 6:19
| So Mike's brother-in-law decided to torch the hornet's nest and they all went nuts. He got a few of them but most of them bit him so he looked like a pin cushion. |
| 6:20
| You'd have to engulf the entire nest with flames, you can't just hit the top. What was he thinking? There's a video on this website but Steve's having a problem with his Quicktime. Maybe Adam can come and look at it during the break. |
| 6:21
| Steve's going to order his Red Dragon shortly. If he doesn't go to L.A. he'll be using the torch all weekend. Or he could have it sent to his hotel in L.A. and use it to keep the paparazzi away from Britney. |
| 6:28
| That paparazzi stuff with Britney is creepy wrong. They're yelling stuff like "welcome back baby" while they chase her. Then they ring her car and stick their cameras in the windows. |
| 6:29
| A flamethrower would really fix things wouldn't it? Imagine Steve popping out of the backseat of the Mercedes. Although it seems like a coupe so she'd have to lean forward to let him out. Or he could just stick it right out the window. |
| 6:30
| Steve didn't officially summon Adam down to the studio but he's having some problems with his Quicktime player. Steve calls down to Adam's office. Didn't he hear Steve tell him to come down? |
| 6:31
| Adam was reading a very complicated email and he didn't hear Steve's shout-out. Steve's having a lot of problems with his staff. He got an email yesterday about the link to the show log being for the wrong day. So he asked Jim about it and he just said it was the wrong link. He didn't seem to care that it's his job and he did something wrong. |
| 6:32
| Then yesterday when Steve was leaving the office Tina and Stephanie, or Lucy and Ethel, or Thelma and Louise, didn't even get up to make sure Steve had all his stuff. Turns out he forgot his food so he came back and just sat there ignoring him. |
| 6:33
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. When Steve asked Jim about the problem he had this look on his face like "well that's your fault for doing a show everyday." Shouldn't he say sorry? According to John Wayne you shouldn't say sorry, it shows weakness. |
| 6:34
| Steve calls up to the office. Tina would like to clarify because she doesn't think she or Stephanie were ignoring Steve. They heard him in the kitchen and figured he was getting his food. They did hear him say he forgot his food and said "oh no!" |
| 6:35
| No wonder Buzz leaves everyday at 10 am. He doesn't have to suffer any of the indignation Steve suffers from an ungrateful staff. |
| 6:36
| Adam has the complicated email he was reading but then he just left the studio with it. What's wrong with everyone around here? |
| 6:37
| One of the sales guys wants Steve do to a sushi eating contest. They can probably negotiate an appearance fee. Probably? Steve doesn't want to be a whore but it's show business. If he starts doing things for free then he'll be doing everything for free. |
| 6:38
| It's like if you're an artist and you say your painting is worth $5,000 then you start selling paintings for $5,000. |
| 6:39
| Steve would probably want to be paid to go to a sushi-eating contest, unless it's one where you're eating sushi off a naked woman. |
| 6:40
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 6:41
| Should we have Pete play the flamethrower video from his studio? Steve would like to end the flamethrower talk, at least until he gets the flamethrower. Will they overnight it? How great would it be to have your flamethrower Fed Exed to you? |
| 6:42
| Pete plays the video. Let's hear the flamethrower! |
| 6:43
| There's no flamethrower sound in the video but Pete says it looks really cool. Did he look at the Poultry Sanitizer video? |
| 6:44
| Steve has a song he wants to play and then Pete can play the Poultry Sanitizer video. |
| 6:45
| Song: Wanted Dead or Alive, Bon Jovi |
| 6:46
| Steve's going to start the song over again. He and Adam were able to download the Poultry Sanitizer video but it started playing during the song. |
| 6:47
| Steve will play the video on his own after the song. He's thinking of becoming a poultry farmer, he has plenty of room in the backyard. Pete suggests weekly summer barbecues with fresh chicken. |
| 6:48
| That's a great idea, the whole staff could come over for meetings. Or we could do shame circles. Jim could sit in the middle for having the wrong show log link and not caring about it or Stephanie and Tina for not helping Steve get his food together when he was leaving. |
| 6:49
| Steve could see them rolling their eyes in the reflection of the window. There he is standing there in the kitchen looking for his diet food and there are a million candy bars in the crisper drawers. That fridge is full of Big Cherries because Mary has a bit of an ordering problem. |
| 6:50
| Song: Wanted Dead or Alive, Bon Jovi |
| 6:54
| Steve was looking at the Poultry Sanitizer video, it's a different unit used for sanitizing chicken yards. These things have to work on dog doo though, they probably incinerate it. |
| 6:55
| Steve has the order page up right now. He can probably even use the flamethrower for home security purposes. |
| 7:00
| Steve's going to lay a Big Cherry on Buzz for later. Steve recommends keeping them in the fridge. Buzz had one but Aimee actually ate it. Steve has about 400 or 500 of them if he wants more. Mary has a bit of an ordering problem although you never run out of stuff. |
| 7:01
| That's sort of the opposite of Thelma and Louise who don't even get up to make Steve has all his stuff. Then they concoct some crazy story when they hear Steve cracking down on Jim and Adam. |
| 7:02
| Steve could see their eyes rolling up. They did this fake thing where they pretended to get up but then didn't. Steve knows Tina and Stephanie are talking about him when they're instant messaging. "OH MY GOD! What a loser!" |
| 7:03
| News with Buzz |
| 7:04
| Chicago streets are expected to be all cleared in time for the morning rush. When Steve was driving in this morning he heard on WBBM-AM that a traffic tipster on 90 had been on the road for 12 hours. That seems impossible. Steve knows that stuff happens in states without snow plows but we have snow plows. |
| 7:05
| It seems like that would be a bigger story and they'd be dropping supplies onto the road. It seems like the WBBM-AM people got hosed. Steve hasn't heard from Tyrone in a week though so who knows. |
| 7:06
| Some area schools are called off classes again today. Buzz is paying attention to the funny school closing names now. There's a school in Glenview called Creme de la Creme. That's a preschool though. At first they didn't say that so Buzz thought it was a high school. |
| 7:07
| Caller Tim heard WBBM-AM this morning, the woman was stuck on 90 near Beloit for 9 hours to go 12 miles. There was some sort of semi wreck and they shut the whole thing down. That's not even near here though. |
| 7:08
| You can probably hear WBBM-AM in Beloit but they made it seems like it was right around here, near Barrington or something. After a while wouldn't you just get off the road? |
| 7:09
| Governor Doyle has called out the National Guard for a state emergency in Dane and Rock Counties. Oops! The National Guard is in Iraq. |
| 7:10
| The National Guard brought food and water to snowbound people and those stranded on I-90. |
| 7:11
| 500 drivers were caught in a 19-mile back up on I-90 caused by semis that got stuck. Steve's seen a lot of bad semi driving lately. |
| 7:12
| Tinley Park police have confirmed the man who shot 5 women to death in a robbery attempt also fondled one of the victims. Officers also refined their description of the shooter. Steve doesn't want to say anything but the guy sounds a lot like Tyrone. Maybe that's why he's missing. |
| 7:13
| Police have also put out a call to area hair salons because they believe the man had help with his hair. Steve read somewhere that a lot of guys have braids and beads put in their hair at home. |
| 7:14
| Five people suffered electric shocks on the West side last night. They received an electric shock after stepping into a puddle near the intersection of Ashland and Division. |
| 7:15
| One of the biggest mafia round-ups in law enforcement history is taking place this morning in New York and New Jersey, where Tony Soprano lives. Maybe high-ranking members of the Gambino crime family are being arrested. |
| 7:16
| Today marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year. It's the year of the rat. It would be a great day to go to Chinatown. Steve loves Chinatown. |
| 7:17
| Senator Hillary Clinton has loaned $5 million from her personal account to her own campaign. That's where Steve would draw the line. If you can't do it with someone else's money you shouldn't do it. |
| 7:18
| Steve questions the motives of anyone who would campaign with their own money. That Mitt Romney guy spent $50 million of his own money. |
| 7:19
| THere's a nice photo of all the Big Cherry's in Steve's fridge on Dahl.com. He can't help but take two whenever he's in there. You can see why he doesn't want to go in there to get his food. |
| 7:26
| A few years ago, maybe about 5, Steve did a broadcast from Won Kow in Chinatown for the Chinese New Year. That restaurant is the oldest one in Chicago. It's so old that you have to go up the stairs to get to it and it's not handicap accessible. |
| 7:27
| They were having some sort of egg roll eating contest and at the end of the broadcast they lit off a bunch of fireworks. |
| 7:28
| Steve went down to light the fireworks that were right on that main street in Chinatown. He thought they'd be lady fingers but they were M80s. It was loud, funny and scary. |
| 7:29
| After Terry Armour's funeral Steve and Mike and Matt went to Won Kow for lunch. The guy remembered Steve and he seated him in Al Capone's old table. |
| 7:30
| Janet never wants to go to Chinatown because when they first moved here a family was murdered there. That was almost 30 years ago though! |
| 7:31
| Steve wouldn't mind going down there for Chinese New Year plus he recently discovered a place with a table shower. |
| 7:32
| Steve's going to read an email he got from a listener about the table shower. The subject line is "Elephant Wash". It's a Chinese-style massage. |
| 7:33
| This sounds like what Steve had in Florida. They wash you like a circus animal and then walk on your back. There was no sex or anything. |
| 7:34
| Occasionally Buzz tries to get Piper to walk on his back but she's not heavy enough. |
| 7:35
| There was a King of Queens episode where Doug rented an apartment over his favorite Chinese restaurant. That seems like trouble but as with every King of Queens episode Steve sees the beauty and himself in it. |
| 7:36
| Buzz's daughter is becoming fluent in Mandarin. Steve's uncomfortable with the way Buzz keeps inserting a 6-year-old into his massage plans. Buzz is just talking about going down there with her to eat at Won Kow. |
| 7:37
| The guy will remember Buzz, he's a fan of the show. Buzz remembers how great the egg rolls were. |
| 7:38
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 7:39
| Steve's going to send Buzz some flowers for Valentine's Day. Will he be his Valentine? |
| 7:47
| That's some audio of the fireworks going off at Won Kow. Can Pete start it from the beginning? Maybe a little more before and after. |
| 7:48
| Could Pete turn the TV up in the studio a little bit? That way Steve and Buzz can just leave and we can broadcast whatever that is. |
| 7:49
| On the TV they're talking to that guy who punched his lawyer after the judge rules against him. Apparently he thought he had some bad lawyerin'. |
| 7:50
| OK stop the tape Pete. Talk about staff turnover. You've got a Spike Manton, a Tim Shine who was the diabetic promotions director. He'd always call in sick because of his diabetes but that's because he was out drinking the night before. |
| 7:51
| Then there's Wendy Snyder and Dan Falato. That's how you keep things fresh. But it's also how you keep that club of people who hate Steve active. The more people in the club the less it costs when they all go to Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba. |
| 7:52
| Pete's laughing but one day he'll be in that club. He might be in it now. When Pete hears that tape he's glad he's still here. Brendan's still here, as is Buzz. Although Buzz hasn't talked on the tape yet. He was too busy eating egg rolls. |
| 7:53
| Buzz eventually started talking at the end. The near-death experience woke him up. All that laughter you just heard was Buzz today, trying to sweeten it up. |
| 7:54
| That fuse Steve lit was very short. His hand was still near the fireworks when they started going off. Buzz remembers everyone rushing to the window once they heard all the explosions. |
| 7:55
| The guy who owns Won Kow also remembers it that way. He's probably just glad there were no lawsuits. |
| 7:56
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:57
| Missing a mortgage payment is like being run over by a Yugo. Missing three is like getting run over by a tractor trailer. Buzz feels being run over by a Yugo would probably kill you. |
| 7:58
| Steve calls down to Penny in the Jack FM studios. Why isn't Penny on our phone system? |
| 7:59
| Steve was calling Penny because she used to drive a Yugo. She had one for 8 years which is depressing. They used to call her Penny Pitstop because she had the Yugo. |
| 8:00 | Penny has a Ford truck now but she misses the Yugo. It got her back and forth to U of I many times although a lot of people would honk at her. |
| 8:01
| Steve was probably one of the people honking at Penny. A Yugo probably doesn't go above 55 right? |
| 8:10
| Time now for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Thursday which means Lunch Date with Steve. Steve really wants one of those Gordita Supremes. |
| 8:11
| Steve should have asked for a caller earlier but he was too busy explaining his keypad woes to a world that doesn't care, nor should they. |
| 8:12
| Caller John is on 90, people are skidding all over the damn road. Thanks for censoring yourself. John will be getting a Gordita Crunch at Taco Bell today. That's what Buzz wants. The Gordita Crunch is the one where the gordita bread is stuck to the hardshell taco. |
| 8:13
| Time for today's web poll question "have you ever damaged your car by hitting a pothole?" Should Steve take a break and then read the story? |
| 8:14
| Steve will read the story that accompanies the poll after the break because that's how they do it. That's professional broadcast polling. |
| 8:16
| Yesterday's web poll question was "did you vote yesterday?" 87% of the people that voted said yes. |
| 8:17
| We have smart listeners who know they should vote to make things happen. Buzz feels that some people might not admit to not voting. Like Buzz? |
| 8:18
| It's really Buzz's shame isn't it, now that he's in love with Barack Obama. Buzz never votes because he wants to stay off the grid. |
| 8:26
| Time for today's web poll, "have you ever damaged your car by hitting a pothole?" The up and down temperatures are taking a toll on local roads in Carbondale. |
| 8:27
| Steve's seen people repairing potholes up here. That thing they used to tamp down the patches doesn't look professional. |
| 8:28
| In Hampshire, Illinois there's a pothole big enough that it made the police blotter. A police car was damaged on Monday when it drove into it. |
| 8:29
| Last night on ABC Chuck Goudie was investigating a pothole that he hit himself on his way into work. |
| 8:30
| He didn't report the pothole though, he just set up a camera to record other people hitting it. |
| 8:31
| Then he kept complaining about how it wasn't getting fixed. But he didn't report it until he had enough footage of people hitting it. |
| 8:32
| Would Buzz like to hear the tape? |
| 8:33
| He hit the pothole two weeks before the report aired. Two weeks! |
| 8:34
| It's just a pothole but it's a superhole to Chuck Goudie. And he didn't report it, he just set up a camera and watched people incur hundreds of dollars of damage on their cars. |
| 8:35
| What's worse is that there are more potholes all over Chicago but he's only reporting on this one. |
| 8:36
| Chuck finally called 311 to report the pothole 2 weeks after he hit it. What was that? He watches people damaging their car for 2 weeks and then he finally calls to report it. |
| 8:37
| But then he learns that the pothole was fixed 2 hours after he called but it was just a lucky fix and not in response to his complaint. |
| 8:38
| It got fixed, what's the problem? He's acting like there's some malfeasance in the pothole department. |
| 8:39
| He should at least just introduce it as some awesome footage of people hitting a pothole. It's like all these people are being Punk'd. You've been Goudie'd! |
| 8:40
| Joining us on the phone right now is Jim Corno of Comcast Sportsnet. Jim's the President, Comcast is his baby. He's President as of today but who knows if he'll be here on Friday. He at least hopes to be here through Monday. |
| 8:41
| Steve's hosting the Comcast Sports Awards on Monday. Hopefully Jim will still have a job on Tuesday morning. |
| 8:42
| They'll never get rid of Jim. He's been there since it was Sportsvision in Oak Park. The awards will be in HD, Steve looks great in HD. |
| 8:43
| Jim Thome will be there as well as Ted Lilly, Joe Smith and Hawk is getting a lifetime achievement award. That's Andre Dawson not Hawk Harrelson. Although he got it last year. It must be a Hawk theme, Steve will have to work that in. |
| 8:44
| Steve and Jim are lined up to do a bit at the beginning of the broadcast. Jim has no doubt that they'll just fly by the seat of their pants. |
| 8:45
| Steve might refuse to do a bit with Pat Boyle though. Pat's the loose cannon over at Comcast, they keep telling Steve that. |
| 8:46
| You can go to Dahl.com there's a link to buy tickets for the Comcast Sports Awards dinner. |
| 8:47
| Steve has the guys from Mark Shale coming over today with his shirts and his pocket square. That's how he rolls. He's going East Coast with it, squared off instead of pointed. Steve's being consulted by Todd Cavanah, he reads GQ. That's fine with Buzz until he sees the glitter on Steve's butt from his new embroidered jeans. Buzz is just mad that Steve's not wearing the Hawaiian shirt, he's trying to sabotage him with a bad look. |
| 8:48
| Buzz is welcome to come on Monday but Steve figured he'd want to watch it at home with the family. He'll pop some popcorn and let the kid stay up late. |
| 8:49
| It'll be fun to hobnob with the athletes. Steve stalks Jim Thome, leaving muffin baskets at his house. This will give him a chance to talk to him in-person, at least before he calls the police. |
| 8:50
| Steve's going to take a break and then talk to Pat Boyle. There's also someone on hold who has a problem with Steve hosting the show. He hasn't even done anything yet! |
| 8:51
| Steve's being kept in check by the fact that he has season tickets to 3 teams that co-own the network. He doesn't need Jerry Reinsdorf pulling his Sox tickets or Rocky Wirtz pulling his Blackhawks tickets. They'd probably call the McCaskey's just because they can. |
| 8:59
| Steve is not wearing a pantsuit on Monday. He doesn't know why Pete has to question his sexuality with that drop from The Office where Michael is wearing a woman's suit. |
| 9:00
| Pete can say he's not in the club of people who hate Steve but he doesn't have to be. He can just sit in his studio and shovel tapes at him. |
| 9:01
| It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Steve could just make Pat dance to that song at the Comcast Sports Award for their bit. He could pour a bucket of water on him like Flashdance. |
| 9:02
| Pat has not come up with a bit for them either, he was going to leave that up to the comedic genius of Steve. |
| 9:03
| Steve was watching the Hawks game last night up until it was 4-1. He did see Pat doing the hockey highlights though. It's funny to see him do the hockey names, they're all a mouthful. |
| 9:04
| Steve will come up with something for him and Pat. Should it be physical or cerebral? Mike Liederman keeps asking Steve what they're going to do. |
| 9:05
| Plus right after that Pat's introducing the Bill Wirtz tribute video. What can he do before that? Steve just thought of something they could do that would tie in with something he's doing earlier in the show. |
| 9:06
| The Bulls and Hawks both lost last night. Bulls fans keep hoping for a big trade but it doesn't happen. Shaq was traded to the Suns, why didn't the Bulls get him? |
| 9:07
| Pat doesn't think you'd want Shaq this far into his career. It would probably hurt the Bulls payroll anyway. The Suns seem like a smart team though, if they want him the Bulls should want him. |
| 9:08
| Pat had a run-in with Shaq early in his career. It was in the mid-90's and he was covering the Orlando Magic in the playoffs. Horace Grant and Shaq were at the podium. Horace said they were missing the killer instinct that night so Pat asked why they didn't have it. |
| 9:09
| Shaq shot Pat a glare but Horace Grant answered it diplomatically. Then after that all the reporters spilled into the lockerroom. |
| 9:10
| Pat's standing there waiting for another interview and he feels the glare coming at him again. He looks over and Shaq is standing there nude, glaring at him again. This story doesn't end with Pat in the shower does it? |
| 9:11
| Pat turned to his camera guy and said they needed to get out of there. Pat still can't get that mental image out of his head, all these years later. |
| 9:12
| Steve doesn't care what Pat Boyle says, the Bulls should have tried to get Kobe Bryant and Shaq. What do they have to lose? |
| 9:19
| Can Pete play that drop one more time, if it's handy? It's Richard Lewis and Larry David on Curb. |
| 9:20
| News with Buzz |
| 9:21
| Starbucks sent over some coffee and cupcakes. Steve likes getting free coffee but he wasn't given the option of a cupcake. |
| 9:22
| The New York Daily News is reporting that they delivered a major blow to organized crime today, arresting over 60 members of the Gambino crime family. |
| 9:23
| Police in Tinley Park have confirmed that the man who shot 5 women at a Lane Bryant store also fondled one of the women. They also have updated their description of the suspect saying he has 3 puffy cornrows. That's not a breakfast cereal is it? |
| 9:24
| Steve thought the police were trying to downplay the fondling. Nothing else sexual happened. |
| 9:25
| Britney Spears left an L.A. hospital to stay at the Beverly Hills Hotel. She then left that hotel and went off with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she's been dating. |
| 9:26
| They're showing them again on CLTV, it's completely nuts. No wonder she's crazy. |
| 9:27
| Steve thought if she was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel he'd run into her in the lobby. Then you'd see him in all the paparazzi footage. |
| 9:28
| A new measure designed to improve bicycle safety in the city is being proposed by the city council. Fines would be increased for driver's who turn left or right in front of a biker or open their door in front of a biker. Steve doesn't want to get involved in all this cyclist stuff, they're nuts. |
| 9:29
| Mayor Daley is an avid bike rider, when he's not being driving around by a chauffeur. |
| 9:30
| The Chicago City Council approved a 40% real estate transfer tax which will go to the CTA for funding. They only get the money if active military personnel and injured veterans get to ride for free. |
| 9:31
| An elderly Chinese man working out with a set of samurai swords on a playground of a Buffalo Grove middle school was picked up by authorities. Sure, that's very normal. |
| 9:33
| One of the two known WWI veterans died in Florida, he was 108 years old. Though not on the front line he treated many wounded soldiers. |
| 9:34
| Live read: Woodfield |
| 9:35
| CNN ha Heidi Collins on location which is very disturbing to Buzz. She does not look good in cold weather. |
| 9:36
| They need to keep her in the studio with the make-up and the lighting. She has an Amy Jacobson look when she's on location which isn't bad but it's not what he's looking for. |
| 9:37
| That's her tragic look though. One of the guys she interviewed moved out of New Orleans after Katrina and now he's in the Midwest and gets hit by a tornado. |
| 9:38
| The good news for this guy is that Heidi Collins says she wants to keep in touch with him and all the victims. |
| 9:39
| Then she goes to the kid. That's just journalistic instinct, you always go to the kid because they say the darndest thing. |
| 9:40
| This other guy she's talking to is working her. He's working her over his dad's bald head. |
| 9:41
| Steve is sorry Buzz had to see that guy working Heidi Collins. She's so touched by this whole thing that she might be vulnerable. |
| 9:49
| They're having a lot of technical problems at channel 5 now that they've switched to HD. It's mostly audio problems. |
| 9:50
| Buzz didn't know why they were having problems. He's just noticed it's extra fun to watch. Even better when you mix in some Mike Adamle. |
| 9:51
| If Steve's Bob Sirott he'd keep his yapper shut and only say the things that are on the teleprompter. In that drop he was admonishing the teleprompter guy. |
| 9:52
| The other day Steve had some Bruce Wolf audio where he didn't know he was on the air. |
| 9:53
| It couldn't be more enjoyable to watch all of it though. They know it's going on but they're trying to work through it. They seem very disheartened by it though. |
| 9:54
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 9:55
| The Market Day people brought by some food, including an Apple Berry Breakfast Bowl. Buzz loves Bowls. It's like a bundt cake that you turn over. It's only 200 calories. Buzz can't recommend it enough. |
| 9:56
| It's also 28% of your daily fiber intake so Buzz should probably hurry home. Steve just had one, he might have to cancel his Pilates for today. |
| 9:57
| There are certain positions in Pilates that leave you open for that stuff. Steve doesn't like to do that in front of guys and he really doesn't like to do it in front of women. |
| 9:58
| Of course she'll probably say it's OK. They encourage that kind of stuff but Steve doesn't care. He doesn't like to do that old man thing where you're in front of the urinal doing it either. |
| 9:59
| Steve feels passing gas is a private matter. Buzz will try to bring that message home. The kid thinks it's hilarious. If Buzz doesn't want Piper dating until she's 30 he might want to encourage it. |
| 10:00
| Buzz's daughter is exchanging Valentine's with a boy in third grade. She's only in 1st grade. That's the Kilman age ratio isn't it? 1/3rd the age is the ratio that's been taught over the generations. |
| 10:01
| Steve will see how everything percolates as the day goes on but he might have to cancel. The hardest part for Steve in Pilates, other than people making fun of him and impugning his manhood, is not doing that. |
| 10:02
| Steve doesn't have Pilates pants that are thick enough to muffle anything either. Maybe that's an invention he should work on. Or he could try duct tape. He could do Pilates and give himself a waxing. |
