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Monday, February 25, 2008

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5:33 Stingy and Synchronicity II...that was a Steve Martin bit on SNL when he was hosting one time. He said the musical guest was Stingy instead of Sting. You add a y and it's Stingy.
5:34 Steve Martin used to be funny all the time. Then he went and wrote a bunch of plays like Picasso at Lablahblahblahblah. C'mon! You used to stick fake arrows through your head!
5:35 Standby for a double clear, Steve has a bit of a throat. He blames the flight he took last week. Steve never gets sick because he's a specimen, except for when he's on a plane because everyone is coughing.
5:36 The guy seated behind Steve coughed for the entire flight. He might have been the guy who told Steve he needed to eat his Wheaties because he was having trouble getting someone's bag into the overhead.
5:37 Then Steve asked the guy to cover his mouth when he coughed and he didn't. Where do you go from there? Probably to prison. Steve might have to dose up on some vitamin C. If he should get some of that he'd take it.
5:38 Steve's talking like Henry VIII or something. He was watching the entire season of The Tudors over the weekend.
5:39 Steve was watching Mr. Woodcock on On Demand because he hadn't seen the ending. It was unsatisfying. The concept is funny, a mean gym teacher, but like a lot of comedies today they try to put on a redeeming ending.
5:40 Steve ended up watching No Reservations on the strength of the ad they were running for it on On Demand. He likes Catherine Zeta-Jones and he liked that guy from Thank You For Smoking. He played a jerk in that and he sort of played a jerk in No Reservations.
5:41 After that Steve watched Fast Food Nation which was pointless and depressing. Steve gets it, there are meat processing plants out west, illegal immigrants work there and get their legs cut off so we probably shouldn't be eating fast food.
5:42 The best part was that Bobby Canale as the plant manager who got to nail all the women in order to get them jobs at the plant. Plus he was selling them crank. That was the only character that made sense to Steve. He got sucked into watching it because of Greg Kinnear.
5:43 Steve watched another movie that he can't remember on Saturday and then he watched The Tudors based on the ads they were running for that. It's a period piece, like Rome only about Henry VIII. There's just as much nudity and sex as Rome too. As it turns out that's how Steve likes to learn about history.
5:44 Steve watched all 10 episodes but only 9 were in HD for some reason. There was an episode missing and Steve freaked out. Then he went to the non-HD section and there was the missing episode.
5:45 Steve's probably an expert on that time period now, he'll be taking questions on it if Buzz has any. Steve had heard a lot of the names of characters in The Tudors all his life but they never teach the sex stuff in school.
5:46 Steve wrote a little bit about the show in his blog and Ed responded that it was a great show but they were short on some of the information about actual events. That's unnecessary though, Steve only needs to know what he saw, he's not going to England or anything.
5:47 Ed Silha is on the phone. He was just calling to say The Tudors is a great show but they took a lot of dramatic license. If they didn't it would be boring. Steve did take issue in his blog with the fact that all women had orgasms during sex. Steve's pretty sure that didn't happen back then. It probably wasn't all about the ladies.
5:48 Steve's favorite part of The Tudors is how everyone bows and scrapes at everything When leave a room you bow your head and back out of the room. Steve might start doing that around the office. Maybe it could just be once a week. If Brendan came in and called Steve "your majesty" Steve would say "yes m'lord."
5:49 The guy who plays Henry VIII is pretty good. He kind of has a Billy Idol sneer. Ed likes the show, they just compressed the history a bit. Ed's an Anglophile. He's reheating some Shepard's pie and bangers and mash right now.
5:50 Ed's just glad Steve liked the show. He still had to throw in a slam though didn't he? Of course Steve's the guy who watched Mr. Woodcock twice. He missed some of the subtleties the first time around.
5:56 That's Mr. Woodcock there. Pete tried to watch it but he fell asleep. Steve did too the first time he watched it, it got too real.
5:57 Are Steve and Pete still talking because he went away for a second. Pete is on satellite hook up with 30 other radio stations. Chicago is the #3 priority behind New York and LA.
5:58 Pete always falls asleep during a movie. It turns out the best time for him to watch a movie is at 7 am on Saturday morning. Steve likes the movie but it didn't need to have a meaningful ending.
5:59 Pete thinks the comedies are trying to be taken more seriously with the meaningful endings. They're still not nominating comedies for Academy Awards, they're just nominating movies Steve has never seen.
6:00 Everyone who won last night was from another country except the producer of No Country For Old Men. He thanked his partner, which means a dude, and then called him "Sweetie" which gave Steve the shivers. He doesn't care if people are gay but that was disquieting.
6:01 Steve doesn't really even like when they give a shout-out to the wife. You're thanking her because she tolerated you going to work? Saying partner is fine but to have a love name for him? If one of the Coen Brothers thanks his wife, Frances McDormand and said "I am you slave" we also wouldn't need to hear it.
6:02 Steve knows we have a lot of gay listeners. He's gay himself. It just seems like an unnecessary shoving down people's throats.
6:03 Steve didn't see the awards though because he was at the Escoffier dinner. Somehow he got talked into having Escoffier's grandson on the show today. The guy seemed a bit aloof but Hans said he's a great guy.
6:04 There was a sorbet-type thing made with wine which Steve sampled after Hans told him it wasn't wine. But Steve could taste the alcohol and he looked at the menu and it said wine. It made Steve really mad. Hans said it was only a little bit of alcohol.
6:05 So Steve went to the bathroom and washed his mouth out for about an hour and a half. Steve didn't like that and he didn't like that Hans didn't seem to care. Steve loves Hans but he has to look out for him a little bit. Hans had had a few glasses of champagne by then though.
6:06 Steve's not in AA though so he won't be bumped down to the beginning. Next year Steve's bringing Buzz because Patrick Bertoletti and Chef Hans were hammered.
6:07 Steve had to leave early because by 10:00 they were only up to the 8th course. He missed the dessert, a creme caramel infused with exotic black tea from China.
6:08 It was fun though. Last year Steve could stay for the whole thing because he was on in afternoons. Everyone gets hammered at these things though.
6:09 Hans said Steve would get big ratings having Escoffier's grandson on. First of all, what does Hans know about that? That's not how it works anyway.
6:10 There aren't a lot of women at these dinners but Melanie Griffith's sister was there. Apparently she's a sushi chef in L.A. and she was supposed to sit next to Steve but didn't.
6:11 Then another chef, who's nickname is Hollywood, came up to Steve with a woman and said "you always say there aren't enough women at these things, here's the hottest one." She was cute but it was right when Steve was leaving.
6:12 A lot of people knew who Patrick was because he's a chef and a competitive eater. Plus he's coming off the big win at the jalapeño eating contest. He had 100 more than the next guy.
6:13 Patrick sat next to a chef named Harry, who's in his 90s. They got along famously though. Patrick does say stupid things sometimes, like that Harry Caray's has the best steak he's ever had. He's never been to Smith & Wollensky but it's not all about what he's done. Luckily Hans is oblivious.
6:14 Hans was too busy trying to set up a meeting between Steve and Bobby Hull or getting a photo of Melanie Griffith's sister. Hans said the photo was for Steve but it's probably not.
6:15 There still aren't enough women at these dinners though. It's just a lot of big dudes in sashes, sometimes with accents. A lot of them had the Kaiser Wilhelm look.
6:16 So Chef is coming by at 8:00 with the great grandson of Escoffier. He seemed a little snooty but Hans says he's great. Sometimes Steve mistakes gentleness for snootiness.
6:17 While Steve was talking to Hollywood at that other woman another chef came up to Steve and asked him if he was going to be making fun of this. Every time someone asks that you increase the chances Steve will do it.
6:18 Everyone is so hammered by the end of that thing though, they've all had 9 glasses of wine and not enough food to back it up.
6:19 There were also a large group of Nation of Islam guys there because they were having their convention there. They all have wear that hat that makes them look like they're going to serve you ice cream.
6:20 Buzz would be interested in going next year. You can't take your wife or girlfriend so Buzz can come, plus he's got the tux.
6:21 The best part is that you get to eat with the napkin tucked into your shirt. That's how you're supposed to do it and last year Steve said he was going to eat like that but he didn't.
6:22 Buzz has said in the past that he doesn't want to go but Steve thinks he'd like it. It seems like a once-in-a-lifetime thing that Buzz should do. If it's not him then Steve's going to bring a prostitute because he needs to get some women at these things.
6:23 The chef at the Palmer House did a good job with the dinner. He started as a bartender at Kitty O'Shea's, which Steve learned last night sitting next to the Palmer House's general manager.
6:29 Steve had a bow tie on last night but he didn't have the sweet ice cream man hat on. Steve would have liked to put a veil on Patrick Bertoletti though, he didn't tone down his mohawk at all.
6:30 Steve and Buzz would be a more age-appropriate couple. People probably think Steve's some sort of creep when he shows up with the young guy with the mohawk.
6:31 Everyone seemed to like Patrick although it doesn't seem like a mohawk is going to help you network. Would you want that in your kitchen?
6:32 News with Buzz
6:33 The weekend weather is over and the National Weather Service has issued a winter storm warning for the entire area. They're expecting at least a half foot of snow.
6:34 The tsunami warning has been lifted. For Lake Michigan? Actually for Indonesia. Steve likes hearing about the tsunami because the ocean goes away right before it and everyone goes out shell collection.
6:35 If you were staying at a resort there and the ocean just went away, wouldn't you know that something bad was going to happen?
6:36 Steve accidentally cut Buzz off while doing a double clear. Thanks to that guy on Steve's flight who was coughing the entire time. Planes are in the news this week, a woman flying from Haiti to New York died when was refused an oxygen tank. It turned out to be empty anyway.
6:37 Ralph Nader is joining the race for presidency. When he ran in 2000 he screwed up the race and pretty much lost it for Al Gore. He got even less votes in 2004 though. He's closer in ideology to Republicans but when he runs it helps them out.
6:38 The CD Jim brought in for the audio keeps giving Steve an error message. He brought the CD and it said error but he just left it.
6:39 They ground Steve Buscemi up in a wood chipper, they made baby snatchers out of Nicholas Cage and Holly Hunter and they made Odysseus into a Depression-era musical. Buzz didn't write this.
6:40 Joel and Ethan Coen completed their journey from the fringes of Hollywood to the mainstream as No Country for Old Men won 4 Academy Awards including best picture.
6:41 What's Jim doing? He's changing the CD after Steve had it working fine. He put the first CD and it said error, which couldn't be more clear. It was fine when he left.
6:42 A lot of the times the CD players turn on Steve when Jim leaves. Steve put the CD in the second CD and then Jim put a new CD and removed the Post-It note. Was he trying to mess Steve up?
6:43 As Jim was delivering the new CD Steve moved it to the second player. Is this what we're going to expect from Jim all week, it's sort of shoddy. Is this because we had the team dinner on Thursday? Sometimes that happens.
6:44 It must be the machine since it says error again. That's why Steve moved it. Then Jim came and put a new CD in the broken machine. If he had better problem solving skills he wouldn't be here.
6:45 Jim likes being here although that's not a tribute to his problem solving skills. Is Buzz going to beat Jim back in the office, is that why he's defensive? Buzz has never hit Jim but he's thrown pastries at him.
6:46 The top machine is probably broken so Steve can expect a 45 minute stare-off from Steve the engineer. Steve thinks he can work with the one machine for today. Steve knows Jim's just trying to help but you don't get credit for the effort around here.
6:47 That's a key element. You can do nothing and get good results and Steve's happy. As near as Buzz knows the person who made the most effort in the history of the Steve Dahl Show was Dave McBride but that was all for himself and that stupid Rave.
6:48 He did The Rave at the end of the show and Steve replayed it at the beginning of the next show. Dave took that to mean he should be getting paid more money and asked for $400,000 a year, up from $90,000. Of course he's not going to get that. Steve doesn't even know where that money would come from.
6:49 He was let go and then put together a notebook with CDs of Raves and a 20 page report which he gave to Kevin Matthews. $400,000 was more than Kevin was making. That's where Dave said that he bookended Steve's show and why he got good ratings.
6:50 Now he's in Florida on the radio. He's probably not up to that $400,000 goal though.
6:56 There was a Best of where Steve and Spike Manton read the Dave McBride binder. Steve will try to get that on the air for the next Best of.
6:57 Lemont, Illinois has an Oscar winner. Exotic dancer turned screenwriter Diablo Cody won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for Juno. She's from Lemont? Does she know Steve? She wrote a book about stripping called Candy Girl.
6:58 She didn't thank Steve in her speech last night but he most have influenced her writing. He loves strippers and out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
6:59 Diablo Cody is not her real name, it's Brooke Busey. She took her name Diablo Cody after a trip to Cody, Wyoming. She went to the University of Iowa so maybe she knew Brendan?
7:00 She began writing a parody of a weblog called Blue Secretary detailing the fictional exploits of a secretary living in Belarus. She moved to Minneapolis to live with musician she met over the internet. They married in 2004 and divorced in 2007
7:01 Buzz was hoping for something a little more tawdry in her back story. On a whim she signed up for amateur night at a Minneapolis strip club and then took it up full-time. She became disillusioned with that and switched to phone sex. This might be what Buzz is looking for.
7:02 That was a good book though. Letterman might have had her on for it because he also liked it.
7:03 Robbers made off with $20,000 from the Hilton Chicago last night. It took place in a third-floor ballroom. Was that in the same room where the Comcast Awards were?
7:04 Prince is having hip replacement surgery. Steve thought he was hip enough. He needs the surgery because of all the sexual dancing he's done over the years.
7:05 Is Buzz sure that Diablo Cody is from Lemont? Because the thing that Steve has says Chicago. He trusts Buzz though.
7:06 Time for today's web poll question, "are you a member of the Polar Bear Club?" by Jeff Ruby in Chicago Magazine. Ruby don't take your love to town.
7:07 Steve's going to need someone to recommend something for his cough that doesn't whack him out. The girls got some spray but those are all superficial. He's going to need something pharmaceutical.
7:08 Don't call up suggesting a bunch of homeopathic crap, Steve wants drugs. Sean Cooper, of Andersonville, went for a run with the family dog last year on a 16º day.
7:09 Steve has the lyrics to Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town. He'll read them as Bill Kurtis.
7:10 Caller Bill has a recommendation for Steve. Does it have morphine? It didn't get Bill wired although Steve likes being wired. Delsin has a great flavor, orange, and it stopped his throat tickle right away.
7:11 They sell it at Walgreen's, that's all Steve needs.
7:12 OK back to the web poll. Sean Cooper was jogging along the lakefront and it was devoid of people.
7:13 Cooper wanted to tire the dog out by a long drive. It doesn't seem like you want your dog to be tired if he'll be driving.
7:14 Sometime along the path the dog spotted a bird and went after it. You might want to keep your dog on a leash. That's why they have leash laws.
7:15 The dog plummeted into the leg after chasing the bird. Writer Jeff Ruby would have just gone home for some hot chocolate, as would Steve.
7:16 Cooper looked down into the lake and saw that the dog was paddling furiously to stay afloat. He tried to climb down but the dog was out of reach. He tried to persuade the dog to paddle to the beach but it had a look on it's face that told him to get down there.
7:17 Steve's dogs freak out when they go into the pool. It takes a lot of energy to get them over to the ladder. A man on a bike came by and heard shouts. They called 911 and then devised a plan to get the dog out.
7:18 They would form a chain from the wall in order to lift the dog out of the water. Cooper handed the dog to the man and then lost his grip, falling into the lake. The last thing he thought was that the other man couldn't lift the dog up by it's ears. Steve would have thought about going into the lake.
7:19 Cooper fell into the 32º water knowing from a kayak safety class that he had about 10 minutes before his muscles froze up.
7:20 The other man took off his coat and wrapped the dog up. As a rescue diver Steve knows you're not supposed to go into the water. FIrst use the coat to try to pull the guy in.
7:21 He was going to use a ladder to lower himself down and get Cooper but it looked too raw for his gloveless fingers. Steve thinks he could have held on to the ladder but that's just him.
7:22 Emergency help arrived and everyone was fine. Cooper's hat, gloves and coat were all gone though. Who cares?
7:23 Steve wouldn't join the Polar Bear Club, it seems stupid. It's just a bunch of fat guys and they all go from the beach. It doesn't seem that dangerous, just unpleasant. Once again, keep your dog on a leash.
7:29 Sometimes Steve wants to be in the Polar Bear Club because of the camaraderie. On Dahl.com there's a picture of a woman in cold water although that's probably not what it's like.
7:30 90% of the people polled said yes to Friday's web poll question, "do you use made up words?"
7:31 Steve's got his Delsin and he just took some. That was fast but Steve's got people. Plus there's a CVS across the street. It's irritating having a throat tickle but even worse if you have to talk for 4 1/2 hours.
7:32 Live read: Woodfield Nissan
7:33 There is some sort of pavement buckle on the Stevenson between Kedzie and Pulaski. Everyday when Steve goes home traffic is backed up to that and then after it's fine.
7:34 Is there anyway to get that fixed? Will 311 take Steve's call even though he doesn't live in the city? It's not even a big hole, if you hit it going full speed it wouldn't damage your car.
7:35 Buzz has seen the computer models of traffic patterns and it's amazing how the smallest things can cause a back-up. Steve though Buzz was going to say "if you've ever seen The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes" which he has.
7:36 Live read: Chicago Blackhawks
7:37 Please don't send Steve emails, he's not calling himself a Radio Icon, it's the Blackhawks. He doesn't talk that way about himself. Steve's just Steve, he put his pants on one leg...well actually he has someone put his pants on for him one leg at a time.
7:38 During the second intermission there's going to be a video of Steve running on the scoreboard. He'll try to be in the bathroom during that. What else can Steve do though, they want to honor him.
7:39 Tickets are probably still available but but you can also win tickets on the show and online.
7:40 Be the 10th caller when you hear the air horn from the United Center. We got that from Mark Zarang who engineers Hawks games for The Score.
7:41 Caller Pat thought last night's Hawks game would be enough to get Buzz to come out for Steve's Radio Icon night. Patrick Laline got into a fight last night so there should be some back story for next week.
7:42 Buzz probably won't go, he doesn't like to see Steve treated as an icon. It's too much for him to handle.
7:43 Caller Pat (dude) saw the game last night. Pronger, on Anaheim, knocked Patrick Sharp into the crease when he scored. It wasn't enough though.
7:44 That Pronger guy is someone who would be great on the Hawks though. How great is Steve's hockey talk right now?
7:45 Pat was at a game last week and he had an Italian sausage, it was great. It's hard not to eat at those games though.
7:46 In addition to the prize wheel prize Pat is going to get Nazulah, a movie from Buzz's personal collection. It's about a giant rat.
7:47 Caller Terry saw Chris Pronger playing for the St. Louis Blues, he's a tough guy. He got hit in the chest with a slapshot that stopped his heart and he had to be revived on the ice.
7:55 Steve was waiting for Buzz to come in because there were two Frenchmen and a Swissmen in the studio. He walked in and looked like he thought Interpol had finally come to arrest him.
7:56 Hans can't say he doesn't want a mic and then start talking, that's passive-aggressive. Will get him a mic and hook him up.
7:57 When does Hans not want to talk? Why did anyone believe that Hans didn't want to talk either?
7:58 Buzz is coming to the dinner next year and Steve's working on the seating chart so they can sit next to some girls. If that means he won't be next to Hans, so be it.
7:59 It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. On the phone is Lisa, manager of the Taco Bell in Valparaiso, Indiana.
8:00 Steve often wanders into Valparaiso looking for Orville Redenbacher. Turns out he's not there because he's dead.
8:01 Chef Hans is here and he's up and running. Michel Escoffier is here as well, he's the great great grandson of Escoffier. He was the honored guest at the dinner and he had a great time. Michel Bouit is also here, he announces each dish as it comes out.
8:02 Michel lives in France, he's spending a lot of time in the South of France where the Escoffier Foundation is located.
8:03 Steve left after the cheese course but it was very good. It was a lot of cheese but usually the portions are small. One frog leg Buzz! Frogs have two legs! There was also foie gras but since they don't charge for it it's not illegal.
8:04 Hans thought the dinner was a bit long last night though. Steve was sitting next to Hans and Patrick and they complained about how long the dinner is. And they were right next to the chef's boss, the hotel's general manager.
8:05 Steve would like to have Michel Bouit read something from the menu. It was all so good though.
8:06 Michel Escoffier must go to dinners like this all around the world. He thought this one was at the top and he actually asked for some photos of the dinner to bring back to France.
8:07 Escoffier helped organize the modern kitchen and he also popularized French food. He had the foresight for things like diet food and smaller portions.
8:08 He came up with a lot of the sauces and he organized the kitchen. He also invented a lot of dishes, usually for women he knew.
8:09 Steve's going to have Michel Bouit read off the lobster dish they had last night. Listen to how he does it Buzz, and it's like that for every dish.
8:10 Hans did get Steve to drink last night when he told him the granitè didn't have any wine in it.
8:11 It says wine right on the menu! Steve had to go to an AA meeting
8:20 It was priceless when Buzz walked in here and all those dudes were sitting there. How did they slip past him?!
8:21 He must have been down in the newsroom working on a big story or eating breakfast.
8:22 Steve had fun at the dinner but he feels like he's missing something not drinking the wine. He had to leave early too because it was going late.
8:23 The food is very good and it's fancy but it's weird. It's fancy for no reason although once you're there it seems like there's a reason. Plus Steve had watched The Tudors all weekend so he liked being treated like royalty.
8:24 Everyone's sitting there at this giant u-shaped table. There are 99 waiters and they're all standing behind you with the next dish. The first seat they serve is the empty one with the Escoffier statue.
8:25 Chef Hans couldn't stop talking about Melanie Griffith's sister being there. It's close to a name he can drop although he doesn't know who she is.
8:26 Caller Rich wanted to give Steve a blow torch alert. Across the street at Millennium Park there's a guy touching up those ice sculptures with a blow torch. It's on WGN right now and they'll probably go back to it.
8:27 Steve did some blow torching yesterday. He hit the dog run which was kind of gross but needs to be done. Otherwise the snow melts and everything gets funky. It gave off a bad smell that's still with Steve.
8:28 Steve got his blow torch but he's missing the nylon strap that hooks the tank to the cart. Steve might go for a bigger model anyway so it's not a big deal.
8:29 Steve fired the blow torch up and though it was a jet flying over at first. It didn't melt as quickly as he thought it would until he hit the dog doo and it started on fire.
8:30 He's still thinking of upgrading to the Jet Torch with a flame up to 5 feet in length. That's what you're looking for. Although Steve did set a few trees on fire and his fence. Maybe he should stick to the smaller model until he becomes adept at it.
8:31 Steve found it very relaxing and fun though, he did it for three hours. When you burn the dog doo it's easier to pick up. Steve's probably sanitizing the dog run too.
8:32 When you walk out of Buzz's building there's a huge patch of sidewalk that's like a designated area for dogs to go to the bathroom. You don't notice it until it snows and then it's a wide swath of yellow snow peppered with droppings.
8:33 Buzz never wants to call anyone because he doesn't want to seem like a weasel telling on people.
8:34 Steve would be happy to lend Buzz the blow torch. Him standing out in front of the building would really send a message to everyone else.
8:35 Patrick Bertoletti is on the phone. He had a great time with Chef Hans after Steve left last night.
8:36 Steve's favorite part was when Patrick told Chef Hans that the best steak he's ever had was at Harry Caray's. Does he think he can say whatever he wants because of the mohawk?
8:37 Steve thought Patrick told him he was going to tone down the mohawk but he actually made it bigger.
8:38 Everyone was wondering who Patrick was and then Steve told him he was a competitive eater. So people could talk to him about that. But then he started talking about Mexicans and Gringos which seemed weird. It was something about how he felt weird eating jalapeños in front of Mexicans at the contest he was just at.
8:39 Steve tried to hook Patrick up with Chef's mentoring program. Patrick doesn't really network well, he needs to censor himself.
8:40 Patrick really liked the lobster bisque and the cheese course. After Steve left Hans gave Patrick his cheese plate.
8:41 Patrick wasn't hungry after the dinner but he thought he'd have to stop at Taco Bell on the way home.
8:42 Steve's tiring of Patrick but it could be because he spent 4 hours with him last night. He's at the same speed all the time though, knucklehead. He sets it and forgets it.
8:43 It's not really an Einstein under that mohawk though. He's created a niche for himself.
8:48 Steve likes Patrick but a little bit of him goes a long way. At some point Patrick will have to transition from competitive eater to chef though.
8:49 It seems like Hans is Patrick's best connection in Chicago. Luckily Hans is never offended by anything that Patrick says.
8:50 The stories Patrick tells are so riveting though, like sitting there worrying about what people think when he's eating all those jalapeños.
8:51 Steve hopes he didn't cut Patrick off before he got to make all of his keen observations. He would hate to miss out on any of those.
8:52 Next year Steve is bringing Buzz though. Hopefully he'll be OK with just one frog leg.
8:53 Buzz remembers, as a 5-year old, having frog legs after his parents convinced him to eat them. He doesn't even remember what they tasted like, probably chicken.
8:54 Patrick seemed to have a good time and maybe he made some connections. But he needs to pay attention a little bit more.
8:55 Ben Gay is here, even though he was just here on Friday. Pat Boyle is in Disney World with his kids but Ben is hoping to make this permanent.
8:56 Pat's kids are 1 and 4, they're not going to remember this trip. Buzz's only member from that time of his life was his family home catching on fire.
8:57 Time for some sports. Cubs second basemen Mark DeRosa was released from the hospital yesterday after he experienced an irregular heartbeat on Saturday.
8:58 It's not believed to be a life-threatening situation but it could be career-threatening. Who wants a second basemen with a bad heart?
8:59 Cubs pitcher Jose Asciano was punched by a would-be mugger over the weekend in Arizona.
9:00 Bobby Jenks received a 1-year contract from the White Sox. He's expected to get a raise from his $450,000 salary. That's not much at all. He seems dumb and the Sox are probably taking advantage of him.
9:01 After agreeing to a one-year contract with Rex Grossman-and thank God for that-the Bears are on the verge of signing Kyle Orton to a one-year extension. They really know how to treat those QBs on the Bears.
9:02 Buzz likes to give Rex the benefit of the doubt and he'll stick with him until game time. Ben would like to see Kyle Orton as QB.
9:03 Illini running back Rashard Mendenhall is getting terrific reviews from his performance at last week's Scouting Combine in Indianapolis.
9:04 Milwaukee Brewers slugger Prince Fielder says he's now a vegetarian. He's a big boy and the son of Cecil Fielder. He became a vegetarian after receiving a book from his wife that changed his outlook on meat.
9:05 His last meal before going vegetarian was a salmon filet. Buzz doesn't think salmon is meat. If you're a vegetarian though it counts.
9:06 Wouldn't you want your last meat meal to be a steak or something like that?
9:07 There's a war of words going on between Bill Walton and Shaquille O'Neal. It must be quite a conversation. How does Buzz like Ben's Bill Walton impersonation?
9:08 Walton criticized the Suns acquisition of Shaq saying he's rundown. Buzz is wondering who Greg Ostertag is, Shaq mention's him in his response.
9:09 How does Buzz like Ben's Shaquille O'Neal impersonation? He thinks it might be a little too articulate.
9:10 Ben is sorry to disappoint Buzz, he'll work on his Shaq impersonation for next time.
9:19 Live read: Townstone Financial
9:20 When you hear that Blackhawks air horn be the 10th caller to to 616-1043 and you'll win 2 tickets to the game on March 5th. Or you can enter to win online.
9:21 Standby for a double clear. Steve's got a bit of a throat today and he doesn't want to take anything that'll make him too goofy.
9:22 Live read: Woodfield Nissan
9:23 News with Buzz
9:24 Good news for Republicans, Ralph Nader is running for President. He says Hillary and Barack avoid certain issues that Nader would be happy to address.
9:25 Obama responded this morning saying that Nader doesn't know what he's talking about.
9:26 Louis Farrakhan, in his first major address since cancer treatment, all but endorsed Barack Obama for President.
9:27 Steve didn't see Farrakhan last night because the convention was actually at McCormick Place. He did see a lot of Nation of Islam guys though, they had the hats that said F.O.I. on it. Does that stand for Friend of Islam?
9:28 Is this a good thing or a bad thing for Obama? Farrakhan is very polarizing but he gets a lot of respect even among non-Muslims in the black community.
9:29 F.O.I. stands for Fruit of Islam. They should have their own line of underwear.
9:30 All that glitters for No Country for Old Men is Oscar gold. Who writes Buzz's entertainment news, Bill Zwecker? The film won Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor for Javier Bardem.
9:31 Buzz has seen the movie and Javier Bardem's character is one of the scariest villains he's ever seen. It's not just that he kills people but he gives them a choice between living a dying based on something like a coin flip or answering a question correctly.
9:32 Every state in the union are in the widespread flu category. This has been a particularly bad flu season because the vaccine missed the mark.
9:33 What's the point of having a vaccine if it doesn't work?
9:34 IHOP is the number one chain restaurant in New York. It's not the biggest but it makes the most money. Is Buzz doing New York news today or something?
9:35 Buzz always likes to support IHOP even though he hasn't been there in quite sometime. Steve used to go as a kid, after he went to the dentist. That seems sort of counterproductive.
9:36 Matt Dahl takes his girlfriend on dates to the IHOP. Buzz knows which one he goes to, they should double date.
9:37 Steve likes buckwheat pancakes although a lot of people don't. Do they still have the different kinds of syrups?
9:38 It seems like lately IHOP has been doing a lot of weird things with their pancakes. In all the commercials they put too much frosting or whip cream on the pancakes.
9:39 They don't do dinner very well though, or at least they didn't back in the day. Maybe Matt Dahl would know.
9:40 There may be extra eye candy for women who attend Florida Marlins baseball games this year. Auditions were held over the weekend for an all-male, all-obese cheerleading group.
9:41 Someone sent Steve an email that he should try out for this. Thanks! That's insulting.
9:42 Steve's not sure if we have IHOP has a sponsor but we should. He's on their website now looking at all the pancake options. He sounds like Bubba from Forrest Gump.
9:43 They don't have buckwheat pancakes on the list though. They're dark and bitter, like Buzz. Steve can see why people don't like them.
9:44 There are no pigs-in-a-blanket either. How can they not have pigs-in-a-blanket under Famous Pancakes?
9:45 Steve is crestfallen, he doesn't see pigs-in-a-blanket anywhere.
9:50 Buzz might not have gone to IHOP until his 20s because it wasn't around yet. They're celebrating their 50th anniversary and they started out in California. So you have to think it took them a while to get to Florida.
9:51 Steve got some uninformative information from Brendan during the break. Some guy in Cicero called and pigs-in-a-blanket are a specialty there.
9:52 Steve asked him if it was on the menu or if it was a special but he wasn't sure. It's not on the website though.
9:53 Brendan actually called out to the IHOP in Cicero and the guy seemed certain pigs-in-a-blanket was on the menu. This isn't any better, Brendan needs to turn off his mic.
9:54 So this is a call Brendan actually made? He picked Cicero because he thought they'd be the hardest to understand? Steve doesn't want anyone call IHOP under the auspices of this show. Steve could call Matt but he doesn't even know how to flush a toilet.
9:55 Steve is hungry for pancakes right now, how about Buzz? Buzz's wife has recently learned to make a perfect pancake. She got the recipe from her mom. Buzz likes them thin so Aimee just puts in extra milk to keep Buzz quiet.
9:56 Steve's going to recommend butter and powdered sugar on the pancakes. Piper is going to love them. If you whisper "powdered sugar" they won't see you put it on. They'll see Steve's pants not fitting though.
9:57 Steve's been struggling with some weight problems although when he put his tux on last night it fit him fine.
9:58 Did Steve tell Buzz what happened to him in Pilates the other day? Steve's dabbling in the manly art of Pilates and there are different machines, or torture devices, that you can use. That thing Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley sell is basically a Pilates machine.
9:59 The one in the back is called The Cadillac and it's a table with a metal frame going up above it. The table is 3 feet off the ground and Steve's fallen off a few times already.
10:00 She made Steve stand up on the table, grab the bars with his hands and then get his feet into stirrups so he'd be inverted. Steve was asking her why he had to do this and she said he needed to get over his fear of being inverted. Steve's not going to be an astronaut, he doesn't need to do this.
10:01 The hardest part is getting the second foot into the stirrup. And then you have to do pull-ups. Why can't Steve just do push-ups? What if Steve fell from that? He'd kill himself! It's not like his instructor could catch him.
10:02 Then the instructor gets mad at him for not feeling a sense of accomplishment. He's just happy he didn't kill himself.
10:03 The personal trainers are a tough crowd. Sometimes Steve catches her checking out her own ass, which is fine with him.

 

 

Bee Pollen
The Little Guys