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| 5:31
| Donny Iris, Ah! Leah! Good morning everybody! And how is Buzz on this far-out freaky Friday morning. It's also a snowy morning today and if you think the roads are OK, don't kid yourself! |
| 5:32
| Steve didn't not receive an admonishment from the traffic guy today. The last time it was snowy the guy told people not to kid themselves if they think the roads aren't bad. |
| 5:33
| It didn't take Steve that much longer to get in today but he did pull some maneuvers that the average person might not be able to accomplish. |
| 5:34
| Buzz's cab driver was doing 60 down Lake Shore Drive. Sometimes he gets irritated when people speed on Lake Shore Drive since it's his drive. Is he out there flagging people down, telling them to stop speeding? |
| 5:35
| Buzz shouldn't worry too much, those cabs are checked out everyday. It's probably best Buzz didn't complain about the speed, it could have gotten worse. Just say a prayer for yourself and figure out how to use the extra time at work. |
| 5:36
| There was a guy Steve saw who was darting in and out of lanes without their blinkers. That was sort of irritating. You'd think people would at least use blinkers on a snowy day. There are some people out there who have their flashers on, like it's an invisible force field. |
| 5:37
| Remember about two years ago the State Legislature passed a law that you can't hold up traffic in the left lane? It was a vague law because technically you can only go 55. But if you're going 55 in the left lane you're holding up traffic. |
| 5:38
| Steve's been thinking a lot about how much he hates Blago lately. It was fun yesterday when he tried to cloak himself in the NIU thing and still got asked about being Public Official A. He freaked out about it. |
| 5:39
| It occurred to Steve that they passed that law so that when the lawmakers are driving down to Springfield they can haul ass in the left lane and you have to get out of their way. |
| 5:40
| Mark Czerniec says that you can't be in the left lane for more than a mile if someone's behind you. That just further bolsters Steve's theory. They're on their way to Springfield and they want you out of the way. Who's enforcing this law because Steve could use it. |
| 5:41
| The law that would really fix a lot of problems would be to keep trucks in the right lane unless they're passing. Steve realizes there are a lot of truck drivers listening but he doesn't drive a truck. |
| 5:42
| It's really hard to drive next to a truck when it's snowing. Today the giant chunks of snow and ice will come off the trucks onto your car, like giant sheets of steel. That said, Steve loves the truckers who listen to the show. |
| 5:43
| Steve knows that the people who drive badly in cars make it so that trucks don't want to stay in the right lane. People don't merge properly, Steve knows. But Steve's a great merger. He grew up in Southern California at a time when freeways were new so people took pride in their merging. |
| 5:44
| Has Buzz ever seen that Goofy cartoon where he's driving on the expressway? Steve's Goofy is right-on by the way, if Buzz ever wants him to entertain at Piper's birthday he'd do it. |
| 5:45
| Caller Bill drives Rt. 53, he gets on in Bolingbrook. There's a lot of people coming on off Kass Avenue and you really need to be in that middle lane as a trucker. |
| 5:46
| If Bill ever saw Steve merging though, he'd call other truckers on the CB and tell them about it. When truckers are in the right lane and leave a space for a good merger other people try to sneak in. |
| 5:47
| Steve feels that merging should be stressed more in driver's license exams. He also thinks it should cost more to get a license. How much does it cost to get a license, $20? It should cost $1,000. Everyone else should take the bus, it would solve that whole RTA/CTA thing. |
| 5:48
| Bill thinks Buzz would never drive if that were the case. Buzz doesn't drive anyway, except to drunk drive on the weekend. Bill was wondering if Buzz's license expired or if he got it renewed. |
| 5:49
| If you went down to Springfield and looked up Buzz's driving record you'd see a record going back to 1980 that is completely pristine. Steve knows he has a valid license because we went through that nightmare recently. |
| 5:50
| He had a bad Social Security Number so we had to deal with that. We help Buzz around here. He's like our grandpa. It was a 4 or 5 deal if Steve recalls correctly. |
| 5:51
| Buzz left his wallet on the counter at the theater. So we took him to get his license and waited out front. Then when he got it he came out, jumping up and clicking his heels. Then we go get pancakes. |
| 5:55
| That Goofy driving movie describes Steve's youth driving in Southern California. Steve hasn't seen it in a while but he's pretty sure that Goofy was sort of a schizo. They would show the slobbering Goofy and then the Goofy that has it together. |
| 5:56
| Steve was just about to go to a cab driver who was just blanketed by snow. Maybe he crashed or something. |
| 5:57
| Steve's getting a lot of information from Mark Czerniec, our Director of Information, about the left lane law. It seems like he doesn't understand it and Steve doesn't understand it because he law doesn't make sense. |
| 5:58
| You're supposed to do the speed limit but you also can't hold up traffic in the left lane? That's just someone who's afraid to say that trucks should stay in the right lane. Steve just doesn't see how you can get a ticket if you're doing 55 in the left lane. |
| 5:59
| Perhaps Mark could call in and explain this? Steve doesn't see it enforced where he goes. Sometimes he makes an extra left lane on the shoulder though. One person holding things up in the left lane? That's ridiculous. Steve has things to do downtown. |
| 6:00
| As a person who did the speed limit for 6 months while under court supervision Steve can say it's dangerous. Buzz's mom used to only do the speed limit, he felt the same way. |
| 6:01
| Mark Czerniec, Director of Information, is on the phone. He's got a bad buzz in his phone. It's been going on for 2 days, since the ice storm. He might want to call the electric company on that. Mark's going to call the phone company. That's probably a safe bet. |
| 6:02
| Mark thinks the squirrels are responsible. What about rabbits, does he have any of those back there? Beavers? Ocelots? There are rabbits which Aimee feels the need to feed. She feels bad for them in the winter but come summer she'll be throwing her flip-flops at them when they eat her vegetables. |
| 6:03
| The law says you can't hold up traffic in the left lane but you can't go 55. It doesn't make sense right? Can we all just agree on that? The law says get out of the left lane if you're doing the speed limit. |
| 6:04
| The law says that the left lane is only for overtaking or passing a vehicle. It's only for passing? That's ridiculous! Steve's right, it's so the legislatures can get to Springfield. Some guy named Dan Rutherford was held up on his way to Springfield and he went down and passed a crazy law. |
| 6:05
| There's a website advocating driving on right and passing on the left. Someone pointed out that the Germans lost two World Wars but they can still function with two lanes of traffic. We're not the Germans are we?! |
| 6:06
| So if a state trooper sees Steve driving in the left lane for X amount of time he can put on his lights and give Steve a ticket? It's bad enough that when you see an emergency vehicle you have to go over 2 lanes. They've got a scam going now where there's a state trooper pulling someone over. There's another state trooper in front of them and they wait for a car to go by in the right lane and not slow down. Then they get him too. |
| 6:07
| It's very trick out there, that's why Steve travels with a lawyer. He usually just sits in the back doing work but if Steve needs him he has him there. |
| 6:08
| News with Buzz |
| 6:09
| Prince Harry is heading home from Afghanistan. You'd hope so after they outed his location. You know who outed him? Matt Drudge. At least that's what the press in Great Britain is saying. They've been sitting on that story for 3 months and they finally ran it in Drudge. Why would he do that? Why does he do anything? |
| 6:10
| Buzz would have reported the information unless the Queen herself asked him not to. If the Queen leans on you you can't say no. There's some sweet video of Harry with a machine gun. He's going to get laid when he gets home, not that he wouldn't already. |
| 6:11
| An agreement between the Ministry of Defense and news organizations kept Prince Harry's location secret until this week when Drudge revealed it. |
| 6:12
| Elders in a Kenyan town are seeking an official apology for the leaked Obama photo. If there's no apology they will demand the expulsions of nearby U.S. troops. |
| 6:13
| Meanwhile Barack Obama says he's willing to sit down with Cuban leader Raul Castro without any conditions of the meeting. President Bush is not open to that. They're still going to keep an embargo on Cuba but the Cubans living in Miami can still send money? How does that help? |
| 6:14
| Those Cubans in Miami can do whatever they want, it's amazing. What would they do if they didn't have Castro and Cuba to hate? |
| 6:15
| 9 people were injured yesterday in a strip mall explosion in Waukegan. Steve's pretty sure that Mark Czerniec gets his haircut at Cleopatra's Unisex Salon. There was a guy getting his haircut during the explosion. Steve liked all the witnesses saying they thought the mannequins coming out of the store were dead bodies. |
| 6:16
| When they promoed the story on NBC they showed footage of the aftermath with mannequins strewn across the street. It did look like dead bodies but they weren't. |
| 6:17
| A Tennessee GOP press release about the photo of Barack Obama has been denounced by Republicans and Democrats. It's entitled "Anti-Semites for Obama." Steve doesn't get that. Since the photo looks like Obama's in Muslim garb he's against Israel? Steve's putting out a press release for "People Who Miss the Guys Who Used to Serve Coffee at the Pump Room." |
| 6:18
| County commissioners will resume budget talks today. They have until midnight to pass a budget or risk a countywide shutdown. |
| 6:19
| Does Pete have the video of Todd Stroger yelling at that one guy? The mics they have don't have great windscreens so you get a lot of plosives. |
| 6:20
| The guy Stroger was yelling at had a point though, you don't need to cut 13% of everything, across the board. But no one wants that because everyone's friends will lose money. But you shouldn't cut health care stuff until it's a last resort. |
| 6:21
| When Pete saw that he imagined that Steve would be annoyed by the bad mics. They're cool looking mics though but they might not be that good. |
| 6:22
| Steve was thinking, that $40 million they're going to spend to rebuild Cole Hall in NIU could go to the CTA. A few legislators, off the record, said there's no way that's going to happen. Even if Blago shows up with a bloody shirt? |
| 6:23
| Goods news, Bird Boy has been found in Russia. He can only communicate via chirping after spending the 7 years of his life in a virtual aviary. His mother (or mum as Buzz is saying) treated him as a pet along with her other birds. She forced him to talk like a bird. |
| 6:30
| Who does Todd Stroger sound like? Steve thinks it's Lester of Willie Tyler and Lester. He looks like Urkel though. Steve was trying to remember yesterday if John Stroger was officially dead. He got mixed up in his own timeline. |
| 6:31
| He thought John was dead when they took him out of the hospital with a sheet over his head. Todd sort of uncorked at that budget meeting though. If it wasn't such a serious situation it would be funny. |
| 6:32
| It seems like someone needs to buckle down but that won't happen. Steve has a theory about that Cook County, it's not a coincidence that the Daley with the Bushy eyebrows is also involved. It really is Willie Tyler and Lester and John Daley is Willie Tyler and Stroger is Lester. |
| 6:33
| Alright time for the Dahl.com web poll. Yesterday's web poll was, of course, "have you ever adopted a pet?" 58.16% said yes. Steve would like to officially say that the text on the web poll for yes, no and the results are too small. Steve can't read them with or without his glasses. He's not sure why Ed's saving on text there. Buzz is looking for the web poll. It's spelled D-A-H-L Buzz. |
| 6:34
| Today's web poll is "are you a leap year baby?" That will be skewed, there probably aren't that many of them. Buzz is looking for the web poll on the site. He doesn't think the letters are too small. |
| 6:35
| Here are some of the things to look forward to you if you have a baby today. If your kid is born today name him Brooklyn and Domino's Pizza your family will win $1,000 and a pizza party. And then after that your kid is named Brooklyn for the rest of its life. |
| 6:36
| That's in connection with Domino's new Brooklyn Style pizza. Buzz is wondering what that is, he is ordering pizza tonight. Steve always gets sucked into Domino's because of the pictures but he's always disappointed. |
| 6:37
| If today is your birthday you could get a lot of free food. If you're a leap year baby you can get a free one-topping "Perfect Pan" pizza at Papa John's. At Boston Market you can get a free lunch up to $10. |
| 6:38
| 1 out of every 1,461 people is a leap year baby. Steve remembers freaking out about that as a kid. He must have felt bad for anyone born on February 29th. Of course when you're a kid you think that you only get a birthday every 4 years and that's how old you are. |
| 6:39
| A Leap Year occurs in any year divisible by 4 but not by 100 except when the year is divisible by both. |
| 6:40
| Some famous Leap Day babies include Pope Paul III, Giocchino Rossini, Jimmy Dorsey, Tony Robbins and rapper Ja Rule. Exciting isn't it? |
| 6:41
| This article is from Ann Arbor so Steve's going to say the word Ypsilanti. That's a town near Ann Arbor. Ypsilanti businessman and Leap Baby Peter Fletcher will be celebrating his 19th birthday and 76th year. That's what befuddled Steve as a kid. |
| 6:42
| Fletcher doesn't plan on partaking in any free food today. How much pizza can an old man eat? Fletcher says that as old and fat as he is he doesn't need free food. Seems like a likable guy. |
| 6:43
| For Steve this is just an extra day that you don't get paid for. We don't get paid for it right? McDonald's is offering a free McSkillet Burrito today with the purchase of a medium or large beverage. |
| 6:44
| Jenny Fouracre of Domino's thinks naming your kid Brooklyn if they're born today would give them a special, memorable birthday and a great story about their name. Being named after a Domino's pizza is a great story?! Steve's wondering if Jenny Fouracre is Native American. |
| 6:45
| Maybe if you actually had your birthday every 4 years people would be more inclined to give you a huge birthday party. |
| 6:46
| You'd think they'd be able to figure out a way to not have a Leap Day every four years. It's bad enough that every month doesn't have the same number of days. |
| 6:47
| There's that rhyme about remembering how many days are in each month but Steve can't remember it. No one remembers it! |
| 6:52
| When you hear the Blackhawks goal horn be the 10th caller at (312) 616-1043 and you'll win a pair of tickets to next Wednesday's Hawks game against the Ducks. That's also the night Steve drops the puck. |
| 6:53
| Steve will not be shooting the puck, his activities are limited to dropping the puck and getting he hell out of there. He'll go back to his seats and watch the game. He will put on the sweater and drop the puck. It's a jersey but they call them sweaters. That's a Canadian influence. |
| 6:54
| They probably were sweaters when they played hockey outside. At some point there's a video of Steve and Buzz talking to Adam Burish and that's it. |
| 6:55
| Caller Dave explains the knuckle method for remembering days in each month of the year. Make a knuckle. Every knuckle represents a month with 31 days and every valley in between is a month with 30 days. |
| 6:56
| Although the first valley is 28 days for February. Most people know that. Every other valley is 30 days. When you get to the pinky it's only July so you go back to the first knuckle. That's too complicated! |
| 6:57
| That probably works great for Dave out in Berwyn but downtown we can't be that primitive. Steve's heard that method before but it's too complicated to memorize. |
| 6:58
| Buzz this is exciting, at least to Steve. He has a flamethrower but so far he's only used it to melt ice and clean up the dog run. He only got about halfway though. |
| 6:59
| Steve has to be honest, the smell of dog doo being burnt still haunts him. It might be partly responsible for why he's sick. You know how if you eat something and then get sick that's probably the reason? Steve doesn't feel the urge to go back to the dog run and finish his work. He associates it with getting sick. |
| 7:00
| Steve does have ice to melt but it's supposed to be 40º next week. It is good for weed control which will help in the summer on Steve's brick driveway. Steve's thinking of upgrading his flamethrower though. If he's going to be out in that dog run he needs something faster. |
| 7:01
| Then yesterday Steve got a letter from Flame Engineering Incorporated, makers of the Red Dragon. Linda from Flame Engineering has been listening to the show ever since Steve ordered the flamethrower. |
| 7:02
| When he got it the strap that hooks the tank to the cart was missing but he has that now. There's a part of Steve that wants the backpack flamethrower though. |
| 7:03
| Steve mentioned that it took a long time to flame the dog run. Flaming the dog run is what we're calling it. Even though the hottest part of the flame is over 2000º ice will insulate itself and slow down the process. If there's ponded water you can sweep it off and speed up the process. |
| 7:04
| If Steve uses it in the summer it will go much more quickly. How great of a letter is this from Steve's flamethrowing people? |
| 7:05
| Steve mentioned wanting to upgrade to a Jet Torch kit. Linda tells Steve to give her a call so she can explain how it's different than what he has now. She wants him to be aware of what he'll be getting. That sounds exciting. She's heard the show, she knows Steve needs to be warned. |
| 7:06
| Finally, Linda included a few giveaway items for listeners and staff. The t-shirt says "Got Weeds?" on the front and "Hasta La Vista Weedy" on the back with a dragon. |
| 7:07
| Caller Dave thinks Steve might be on to something with burning his dog doo or flaming his dog run. There was a flu pandemic at the end of World War I and one of the theories about it was that the burning of pig manure released something into the air. |
| 7:08
| So maybe Steve has started the next pandemic. They could call it the Dahl pandemic or the Stever flu. |
| 7:09
| On Wednesday Steve was out to lunch with some buyers and his prize wheel was being described to them. Peter and Todd asked him about the wheel and Steve told them it was real. |
| 7:10
| Of course it doesn't make any sense to have a real wheel in the studio, you could just use a sound effect. But Steve's not a good enough actor to play a sound effect and then be surprised by the number that comes up. It's comforting to have the real wheel. |
| 7:11
| There are 24 numbers on the wheel, placed randomly around it. The base is broken because Brendan broke it taking out of the studio. It's grounding to have the real wheel. |
| 7:12
| Steve would never have the sound effect ready for the wheel anyway. He'd be yelling at Pete because it wasn't on his machine or he'd accidentally hit the Mailbag theme. |
| 7:17
| Boy is Buzz gonna be surprised when he gets back in the studio. Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it. If this were TV we'd see how surprised he is when he sees there's a girl in the studio. |
| 7:18
| This is how it happens, Buzz gets replaced just because he's late getting back into the studio. Devlin is doing a report on Steve for school about a radio talk show. |
| 7:19
| She picked this show because she's somehow connected with Ed Silha, party of one. Her uncle shares a loft with Ed. They're not living together, it's a business loft. You never know about Ed though |
| 7:20
| Devlin's official assignment is to observe and critique a radio talk show. Just so she knows the critique doesn't have to be negative. So far she just has when Steve's show is on and that he seems somewhat controversial. Steve will give her that. |
| 7:21
| Just doing some internet research she's found that Steve's a radio legend. She's right on that too. Devlin's not from around here, she's from Virginia. Is she going to write about how handsome Steve is? |
| 7:22
| She's supposed to write about what's said on the show. Sometimes people call in and say Steve is handsome. Of course we'll need to see Devlin's notes before she leaves and confiscate them if we don't like what she wrote. |
| 7:23
| Steve will also need to see the final report and the graded report if we don't like the grade she got. She's not a spy is she, Steve doesn't want people knowing he broadcasts in adult diapers. |
| 7:24
| Steve's looking at jet torches right now, he's not sure if it's something he should have. It says if you want something more like a flamethrower you should get this. |
| 7:25
| Steve does want that but on the other hand he's not sure if he should have it. It would be good to have just in case Steve ever goes nuclear. He can have it in the garage just in case. |
| 7:26
| The flame is 6 feet long and it's under $300. So he can use that when the day comes that he burns his way through the neighborhood. It's two tanks though so that's a lot of tottin'. |
| 7:27
| Steve has a new updated version of Bolingbrookville that he'd like to play and then some Drew Peterson talk. Drew has a new publicist. |
| 7:28
| Song: Bolingbrookville, Steve Dahl |
| 7:31
| When Matt Lauer says Drew was on an ill-fated radio show, does he mean the entire show or just that bit? Matt should say "ill-fated radio bit" but they might think of things differently in TV. He might think it's just one show. Steve doesn't want to think of this as an ill-fated show like it's the S.S. Minnow. |
| 7:32
| Steve thought he had the Drew article pulled up but he's still on flamethrowers. Drew has a weed problem so he could use one. And if he should accidentally set fire to that "Where's Stacy" sign then so be it. |
| 7:33
| Should Drew read this in third person or in first person? Buzz prefers it in third person talking about himself. It seems easier to follow along that way and easier for Drew because he doesn't have to convert it from third to first. |
| 7:34
| Before appearing on the Today's Show on Thursday Drew had a conversation with his new publicist. Maybe this should be in the first person. Sometimes for comedic purposes he might switch to first but for the most part it'll be third person. |
| 7:35
| Buzz saw the article in the Tribune even though he reads the Sun-Times. He got it online, that's high tech news gathering. Drew's getting his computer back soon. There are all sorts of places online to meet broads that just want to screw. |
| 7:36
| The publicist thinks it's time for the public to see another side of Drew. He's a nice guy, a normal guy. Glenn Selig (no relation to Bud) is not creating someone that Drew isn't. |
| 7:37
| Peterson appeared on the Today's Show and was shocked about the recent revelations that the death of his third wife was ruled a homicide. Drew also said he's psychologically prepared to go to jail and serve a long prison term. |
| 7:38
| Drew's a realist, he's a former police officer. He knows about all of this. He also talked about his kids saying his main concern is them. |
| 7:39
| Both pairs of kids don't have a mother right now. Drew tried to tell Kathy not to get that bath tub. She's not a good swimmer he said. They should have gotten a stand-up stall shower. |
| 7:40
| Rather than firing off more quips about his wife's moodiness he sidestepped questions. Why would he say all that again? He said it already, he'd just be repeating himself. |
| 7:41
| An imagine makeover for Drew could be a challenge according to experts. For four months the public has been witness to his audacious humor. There was the suggestion about the "Win a Date with Drew" contest. That was actually Joel's idea. |
| 7:42
| There were also the offhand jokes about women and his admirers. Drew needs to meet his 5th wife that he won't be able to keep happy. |
| 7:43
| Drew's friend Steve Carcerano doesn't think Drew should have gone on TV looking so scruffy. Carcerano's just jealous because he's Italian and he can't grow a beard like Drew. He's just got peach fuzz. That's what Drew calls him, Peach Fuzz. |
| 7:44
| The website FindStacyPeterson.com was abuzz about Drew's appearance yesterday. One topic thread on the site's messageboard was titled "Is it just me or does Drew look even worse than before??" |
| 7:45
| Alright well that's all from Drew for now. He's glad Buzz saw the softer side of Drew. He thought the beard made him look smarter and professorial. That's why he gave out the family advice, almost like a doctor. Maybe next time he should come out with glasses on. |
| 7:50
| If you buy something on Dahl.com Steve will autograph it for $5 more. That's very low. He could charge way more. |
| 7:51
| Yesterday he was signing a photo for a guy named Clint but if you put the L and the I to close together you get a word that you can't send out. So Steve had to scrap that photo. And these are Disco Demolition photos that Steve has to buy himself. So he's probably down to $4.50 now. |
| 7:52
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:53
| Not many mortgage brokers will call you when the rates go down and you can refinance. Just ask Buzz and Pete. That's what the copy says. Is that right Pete? |
| 7:54
| Pete confirms that the copy is correct. Why the timidity? It's not done yet so Pete didn't want to queer the deal. Steve's pretty sure that mortgage refinancing doesn't depend on superstition. |
| 7:55
| Pete's rate went down a full percentage point, that'll save him about $100 a month. Buzz should have answered the phone when David called. That $1200 is going to haunt him. |
| 7:56
| All Pete had to do is answer the phone and then have his condo appraised. It appreciated in value so |
| 7:57
| Is that Devlin girl still here? Buzz saw her in the newsroom but she might have left with Stephanie. She's getting the red carpet treatment just because she knows Ed Silha? And she's cute. Steve doesn't trust Buzz and Jim back in the newsroom with her. Especially Buzz, she meets all his crazy qualifications. She's 18 or 19 but looks 12. That's right in his wheelhouse. Buzz says he's beyond that but then he's sitting here saying "I hope Jim doesn't hit on her." |
| 7:58
| Jim is happily married isn't he? He's had the same girlfriend for 10 years, that's a common law marriage in most states. Steve calls down to the newsroom, he can't remember Jim's girlfriend's name. It's Danielle. Buzz is worried Jim was hitting on Devlin but he just answered some questions. With one word answers? |
| 7:59
| They looked tight as ticks to Buzz but it's a small room. And apparently the only way you can see his computer screen is to sit on his lap. He didn't make up the rules, he just follows them. She's been here long enough, that's what Steve is saying. She doesn't even know who Steve is. Only Ed would send someone over that doesn't know who Steve is. |
| 8:00
| She does work at Pizano's, isn't that Jim's favorite place? So maybe Buzz is on to something here. Buzz gives Jim credit for being a healthy, red-blooded American male. Jim's Italian, he can have a goomah. Like Paulie Walnuts and Tony Soprano. Steve's been encouraging Jim to have a one-legged Russian goomah but they're very hard to meet. |
| 8:01
| How's Jim liking that new Lost? Steve's not watching it but he watched the recap episode when it came back. Then he watched the new one and got confused again. Jim thinks this is the best season since the first and last night's episode was one of the best ever. They're really bringing the crazy. Jim doesn't think Steve should go back and watch it though. Jim's committed to it though, commit to the island. Steve committed to the Indian last night but that was a mistake. He committed but the team didn't. |
| 8:02
| Time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve threw down the hammer on some chalupas today, he knew Buzz has been thinking about them all week. |
| 8:03
| Caller Mary wanted to let Steve know that she doesn't think this is an ill-fated show. Matt Lauer was probably referring to the bit. Steve figured that's what he was talking about. He appreciates it though. If Steve really thought that he probably wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. |
| 8:04
| Mary and her sister have been listening since grammar school and the show is not ill-fated. That's hot. |
| 8:05
| Steve's not really that thin-skinned, it was just funny that Matt Lauer said it like that. |
| 8:06
| Don't forget, when you hear the Blackhawks goal horn be the 10th caller at (312) 616-1043 and you win tickets to next Wednesday's game. It's also Steve Dahl Radio Icon night. |
| 8:07
| Steve doesn't think the copy he has should say "radio icon", he shouldn't have to say that about himself. Then he'll get emails from people saying "how dare you call yourself a radio icon!" |
| 8:08
| When Steve goes out onto the ice can they introduce him as a season ticket holder? That might cut down on the booing. That and the skirt and high heels. |
| 8:09
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. He just approved the design for the Steve Dahl Show travel mug. He's been working on that for a while, he's a bit pokey. They just had to find the right mug and logo design. |
| 8:10
| But now they've got the mug, it's a Thermos brand. They should arrive in about 2 weeks but we can pre-order them now. The regular mugs are selling well too, there are only a few dozen left out of the original order of 144. |
| 8:11
| Adam feels the mugs are very reasonably priced at $15. That's about what you'd pay if you bought a mug at the Hallmark Store or something. Steve gets a lot of emails complaining about the price of the mugs. Steve doesn't care if you don't buy one. He could drive over all of them with his car, he wouldn't care. |
| 8:12
| The reason Steve called was to see if Adam could take the icon thing out of the copy. He'd like to call it something but he doesn't like "Steve Dahl Radio Icon Night." Maybe he should give the copy to Buzz, that's befitting of a radio icon. |
| 8:13
| Is that Jim laughing down there? He better be working goomah at least. Adam hasn't seen her around. Maybe Jim already has her stashed in an apartment, waiting with a warm pizza for him. |
| 8:19
| Can we try the new Blackhawks liner? Buzz has two versions of them and Steve doesn't want to say "icon" any more. Earlier in the week Buzz said that Eric & Kathy didn't deserve icon status. Does he think Steve does? |
| 8:20
| Buzz might have said he did already. They did go through the list and Buzz said everyone deserves it except Eric & Kathy and Spike O'Dell. Spike's just a grave marker for Bob Collins. Buzz feels he made a leap forward with the house burning down. But that's only because he had a knucklehead housesitter. |
| 8:21
| Then Spike had that thing with Carol Marin where he was basically an old man whining. Does Pete have that handy, maybe we could enjoy a little of that. |
| 8:22
| Let's try these liners first though Buzz. This is sort of like an audition. Steve and Buzz both agree on the second liner. It implies that Steve's an icon. |
| 8:23
| Pete almost has the Spike O'Dell ready. Spike was in a car with Carol Marin, driving in to work at 2:30 and complaining about how fast people drive on the Eisenhower. At the time 2:30 seemed really early to Steve but now most of the staff comes in around that time. |
| 8:24
| Before Steve talks to Pat Boyle, there's something irritating that's been happening around here. |
| 8:25
| Steve has a Green Room here with his own private bathroom, like his own private Idaho. Last week Steve sat down and broke the seat. He didn't feel good about that plus it hurt him when he sat down. It pinched him. |
| 8:26
| The building installed a new seat but it's too big for the toilet. There's a shelf above the toilet so the seat doesn't go up all the way. |
| 8:27
| Steve decided to force the seat under the counter and just leave it up. But then he had to put the seat down and when he forced it out of there he broke the formica. |
| 8:28
| So now Steve's counter is broken because the building didn't install the right toilet seat. Steve saved the piece and tried to put it back in and see if it could be glued but it doesn't look good. Steve's demanding a new counter top now. |
| 8:29
| Maybe Steve could put Adam on this, that seems like something he could get done. Steve calls down to Adam's office, he'll get right on it. Adam should give the bathroom 10 or 15 minutes before he goes in though. |
| 8:30
| Steve doesn't have much time to work on that toilet seat, the breaks are shorter today. Buzz noticed that, but he still hasn't adjusted to it yet. It's been that way since 5:30. Every break he walks into the studio about a minute late wondering what's going on. |
| 8:31
| Pat Boyle is on the phone. Free agency began in the NFL today, the Bears will probably lose a few players. Brian Urlacher met with the Bears yesterday to rework his contract. Steve was hoping it was him encouraging the team to keep Lance Briggs. |
| 8:32
| He's knows there's money available which is probably why he wants to rework his deal. He has a lot of other expenses now like the divorce and the out-of-wedlock kids. That's something you should think about when you negotiate that first contract. |
| 8:33
| Bernard Berrian and Lance Briggs are both free agents. Briggs is writing a blog for the Tribune now. In a recent entry he mentioned how great it was to be out in Arizona and see his teammates. |
| 8:34
| The other day Tommie Harris and Tank Johnson came over to Briggs' house. Uh oh! It gave them a chance to reminisce about the old days. Old days?! Like last year? Were they reminiscing about the time when Tank was sitting on his back porch shooting at stuff in his back yard? |
| 8:35
| Pat thinks Briggs and Berrian will both be gone along with Brendan Ayanbadejo. That's the one guy Pat would like to see the Bears keep. The strongest part of the Bears is special teams right now and he's involved in almost every special teams play. |
| 8:36
| Brendan wants to be the highest paid special teams player which would be about $2 million. The Bears are about $32 million under the cap, it seems possible. |
| 8:37
| Brian Griese's getting about $5 million a year but they're probably going to unload him. He'll most likely be cut on Tuesday. But they're also shopping him. You can't shop and then say you're going to cut the guy, can you? |
| 8:38
| The Hawks lost last night. Steve turned the game off before it was over. Patrick Laline didn't have a chance. And the guy they tried to get in a trade, Brad Richards, had 5 assists. |
| 8:39
| Steve sees that Pat will be hosting the halftime festivities at tonight's Wizards at Bulls game. |
| 8:40
| There's going to be a contest where fans sing the remaining verse of a song clip they just heard.. |
| 8:41
| Steve's sure it'll go fine. Who knows, Pat could become a game show host. He should go with a turtleneck for the hosting duties. That's more of his hockey look though. |
| 8:42
| For basketball he goes with the hip-hop look, saggy pants, that sideways walk, grabbing his crotch like he has jock itch. |
| 8:43
| Kosuke Fukudome made his spring training debut yesterday and got hit with a pitch in his first at-bat. Was that on purpose? |
| 8:44
| Mark DeRosa's doing fine after his surgery. He should be back with the team Sunday and back in action next week. Why didn't he have this done years ago? Did we talk about this yesterday? |
| 8:45
| The irregular heartbeat he had got worse over the years which is why he finally had the surgery. |
| 8:50
| Spike O'Dell, Bob Collins' grave marker. OK gramps! As Steve recalls, Carol was not strapped in in Spike's backseat. |
| 8:51
| Steve imagines that the kids on the Eisenhower at 2:30 in the morning are those Fast and the Furious kids in their little race cars with the nitrous tanks. |
| 8:52
| They're probably on Ecstasy too so Steve can see how it's dangerous. But you just have to drive faster then. Steve remembers Spike was driving a Crown-Victoria or something. Maybe that'd be OK if he had a police model. |
| 8:53
| Doesn't Spike drive in with someone on his show? Or he was doing the report because of someone on his show? |
| 8:54
| Pete has the rest of the segment which he plays. His traffic reporter was in an accident while driving in. Steve hopes Spike got a ticket off of this report. |
| 8:55
| That's probably all we need to hear. It's just a fake story because Spike thinks people drive too fast. |
| 8:56
| Our own Mary spun out on a ditch on the way into work and she just kept on driving and came into work. You don't hear anyone whining about it. That's the kind of show you want to listen to. |
| 8:57
| That is one of the lamest things ever. Spike says it's NASCAR fast out there. He was a kid one day with a fast car. Where, the Clod Cities?! It's embarrassing for Spike. |
| 8:58
| News with Buzz |
| 8:59
| Prince Harry is being withdrawn from Afghanistan after his location was leaked by the media. He told the Today's Show that he's been humbled by his experience so far. |
| 9:00
| Steve's pretty sure that wasn't just on the Today's Show, several different channels were showing it. |
| 9:01
| This couldn't have worked out any better for Harry. He got to be in Afghanistan for 3 months, he killed 30 Taliban and now he gets to come back. It was probably good for him before but it will be even better now. He's a war hero. |
| 9:02
| Plus he can do pretty much whatever he wants because he'll probably never be King. He's third in line behind his dad and his brother. |
| 9:03
| The FBI is now involved in the Roger Clemens case, they'll be investigating his testimony to Congress. It seems like they're going to make him the scapegoat for his. |
| 9:04
| It's his own fault, he's the one who wanted to make a statement in front of Congress. When you go to them like that and they think you're lying they have to do something about it. |
| 9:05
| A plan by Governor Blagojevich to demolish Cole Hall and rebuild it as a memorial has hit a snag. Some lawmakers don't think $40 million should be spent on that project. |
| 9:06
| The Cook County board will resume budget talks this morning. County commissioners are frustrated. Can we play that Todd Stroger cut again? Earlier Steve said he sounded like Lester of Willie Tyler and Lester. |
| 9:07
| Steve has some Lester audio that he'd like to compare with the Todd Stroger audio. The mics they're using are so bad, it's very hard to understand them. As a Cook County resident and someone who's interested in audio, Steve's offended. |
| 9:08
| Someone sent some YouTube video of Willie Tyler and Lester, hopefully there's no profanity in it. |
| 9:09
| Steve's going to take a break and listen to this just to make sure there's no profanity in it. Maybe Steve should make this a Mailbag segment. The Carpenters Mr. Postman is way better. |
| 9:10
| Steve's going to just forward the video to Pete and he can put it all together the way he does. Stroger does sound like a puppet though and he is a puppet for the Daley's. |
| 9:11
| Emailer Jeremy wants to be removed from the email list because Steve is the most annoying man on the planet. How did he get on the email list then? You only get on by emailing Steve. |
| 9:12
| Jeremy thinks Steve is ruining Jack FM. It's only 4 1/2 hours. If you want off the list, unsubscribe. Because every time you email Steve you get on the list. |
| 9:13
| Emailer Deb used to listen to Spike but now she listens to Steve because he's in the mornings. Spike drives a Chevy Blazer into work and he probably wears a blazer into work. Not too long ago he got three speeding tickets on the Eisenhower. |
| 9:14
| Maybe he's just working those tickets off. And he somehow duped Carol Marin into coming along. Buzz would love to dupe Carol Marin, along with Pam Bosco as we learned yesterday. |
| 9:15
| Buzz has been a longtime fan of Carol Marin's. She'd probably give you a lecture while it was going on too. |
| 9:20
| Twin brothers who have appeared in hardcore gay-porn online videos are charged with the rooftop burglary of a Philadelphia business. You'd think they would have gone through the back door. |
| 9:21
| During the break Brendan come in and said there was a guy named Prince on he hold who used to be on Steve's show. Not Prince the singer who just had hip surgery. Steve though he was hip enough. |
| 9:22
| Prince was on the show before even Stan Lawrence. Steve pioneered interracial comedy on the radio and he gets no credit for it. |
| 9:23
| Prince used to talk really funny and Steve asked Brendan if he was still funny. Brendan said he sort of was. |
| 9:24
| Prince is on the phone. Just to prove it's really him, Prince can tell Steve about the first time they met. He came down to the theater where Steve was, it's not even there any more. Prince didn't have an ID he had to show him his probation card. |
| 9:25
| How could Brendan think this wasn't funny? Prince went out and got himself a job, got a crib, got a car. He's glad Steve came back, he was a bit out there for a while. Is Buzz shaving yet? Prince needs to get a better cellphone but that could be arranged. |
| 9:26
| Steve wants to get Prince's number, we should talk to him from time-to-time. He wants to come down here, he hasn't seen Steve in 27 years! |
| 9:27
| Prince doesn't know how he's going to deal with Steve now that he's not drinking. Steve thinks he's easier to deal with now. |
| 9:28
| That's the real deal right there. Prince might be where Tyrone came from. Steve wouldn't mind working him back in a little bit. He's got some nice crazyology although he's hard to understand on that cellphone. |
| 9:29
| Prince always came out to things and he was always doing crazy things and getting into trouble. |
| 9:30
| OK, back to the twin brothers. Keyontyli and Taleon Goffney, 25, of Pennsauken, New Jersey were arrested February 19th. You have to be proud as a Pennsauken resident when two of your sons grow up to be gay porn stars and then get into burglary. |
| 9:31
| The brothers face charges of burglary, trespassing, theft and related counts. Don't make Steve do the burglary joke. |
| 9:32
| Taleon has a lengthy criminal history, as you can imagine since he's a porn star. He's previously been charged for rooftop burglaries in Alabama and Florida. He's been arrested in Philly as well as Camden and Salem Counties in New Jersey. |
| 9:33
| The rooftop burglary is a classic , Buzz knows. It's very exciting on a roof. He was an apprentice to a master burglar and several times as a youth he broke into a bank with his friends and took pens. Once one of his friends went back to the bank the next day and heard everyone complaining about their missing pens. |
| 9:34
| Buzz and his friends would also taunt the police patrol guys to see if they could get away from them. The worst that could happen is that they'd get brought back home. The last time they did that was when one of the officers fired a shot. |
| 9:35
| There was also the time when Buzz threw the grapefruit into a passing car. The guy chased after them and they eventually parked their car on someone's lawn and turned the lights off. |
| 9:36
| Back in those days it was OK to do that stuff. They were just pranks, there was no follow-up, no shooting or anything. |
| 9:37
| Back then if you were in a bar and some guy started hassling you, you could punch him. It was self-regulating. But these days you can't do that. |
| 9:38
| Back to the porn brothers. They are known as Teyon and Keyon in their videos. They could have had a great career without this according to Erik Schut of Philadelphia-based video retailer TLA Entertainment. Don't make Steve do a shoot joke here. |
| 9:39
| Taleon is believed by police to be a trained gymnast and karate expert. He's used his athleticism to make several daring escapes from police. |
| 9:40
| In one instance he broke out the glass of a police car while handcuffed and jumped into a lake. He swam across it like Flipper while taunting the police. |
| 9:41
| Steve was going to compare Todd Stroger to Lester, does Pete have anything ready for that yet? |
| 9:42
| Pete plays the comparison. That's it? Maybe Pete has something else to work on for the weekend. |
| 9:43
| That Todd Stroger is something else. It would be funny if the whole thing wasn't such a disaster. |
| 9:44
| Steve can swing a sales tax increase but it'll be disastrous for businesses. |
| 9:50
| Steve's going to try some more Willie Tyler and Lester. Buzz remembers what he's talking about right? There weren't many black ventriloquists. |
| 9:51
| Steve's going to play a part of this Lester audio that he thinks sounds like Todd Stroger. Then Pete could play the Stroger. |
| 9:52
| Pete? You there? Has he fallen and he can't get up? Has he put all his stuff away for the day? The crayons, the markers, the dull tipped scissors, did he put them all away. |
| 9:53
| Steve's been seeing something all morning long that involves semi-nudity. Victoria's Secret might be getting too racy and they're looking to bring it back down a little bit. |
| 9:54
| They probably have their reasons but it seems like an unnecessary thing for us to know. |
| 9:55
| The introduction of more practical underwear at Victoria's Secret would probably spread amongst the female shoppers. Do we need that on CLTV though? Steve would hate to think CLTV is pandering but it worked. |
| 9:56
| Another listener sent Steve some toffee after Terry sent toffees yesterday. Buzz had some, his favorite flavor was Mozel Toffee. It's a play on words and a toffee. Steve had some Pistachio Mint, it was good. |
| 9:57
| Steve gets the feeling that he's about to be arrested. Rod Zimmerman is outside the studio, it's never good when he comes down. Maybe he's trying to take back some money from Steve. |
| 9:58
| Buzz really did have some toffee and he liked it. He's trying to stay away from all that stuff though. Aimee buys these Planters dark chocolate-covered almonds, they're common as dirt but hard to stay away from. |
| 9:59
| Common as dirt? Steve loves when Buzz deigns to eat the commoner food. He just means you can find them anywhere, they're not boutique. Planters is the way to go. |
| 10:00
| What was Rod Zimmerman doing out there? He might have just been showing Steve and Buzz off. Rod runs all the CBS stations in Chicago, he's the general manager. When Steve says his name he usually leaves. |
