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| 5:30
| Buzz was just telling Steve in the hallway that Foreigner is his favorite band in the world. Head Games! Nobody has made the tunes that they have. Of course Head Games is the third album by American rock band Foreigner. |
| 5:31
| A really bad thing is happening to Steve's eyes. He has bifocals and he can't seem to get his head tilted properly so he can read with them. Buzz has trifocals. Can Steve tri them? |
| 5:32
| Steve should probably get a new prescription but he doesn't like the eye exam. When they puff the air in your eye they should just do it when you walk in the door. Instead they tell you they're going to do it and then you think about it up until they do it. |
| 5:33
| Maybe there's something happening with Steve's screen. Steve the engineer, God love him, he's a big fella. Sometimes stuff gets moved around in the studio when he's in here. |
| 5:34
| Steve might have to go straight reading glasses but that would make him really old. Larry Lujack used to wear reading glasses, they were around his neck on a chain. Steve saw that Larry was being inducted into the NAB Hall of Fame. |
| 5:35
| It was a luncheon because radio guys love a free lunch. At night radio guys like to go get whores. At least that's what Steve hears. |
| 5:36
| Foreigner's Head Games was a disappointment on the charts, only reaching the tenth spot. That's when Buzz almost wiped his hands of the band. The album is known for its extremely lurid album cover, featuring a young, scantily clad girl in a filthy men's room. Really?! |
| 5:37
| Steve should probably go get glasses then because he really can't read. If he tilts his head too far back to read it looks funny. People will come by the studio just to watch him read. |
| 5:38
| Steve has a cold, could that be messing him up? All that stuff is connected so it's definitely possible. Steve can't hear either but he's not totally sure about that because Pat Dahl is in town and he mumbles. Buzz thinks that's because a lot of what he has to say is totally unacceptable and mean. |
| 5:39
| Steve knows who he got his cold from and it wasn't the guy on the plane, it was his trainer. He has the same cold. Steve doesn't even know why he got sick, he never gets sick! His theory is that this is the part of the flu that the flu shot misses. |
| 5:40
| Steve doesn't clean his glasses everyday though. It's like when there are bugs on your windshield, you just get used to it. |
| 5:41
| Steve got in a little early today and saw Eddie of Eddie & Jobo wearing a sweet B96 winter jacket. We don't have Jack jackets or Jack-ets. Buzz is wondering what kind of jacket it is. It was dopey-looking, just a regular ski jacket. |
| 5:42
| We could have someone get the jacket for Buzz, Eddie would probably let him see it. Buzz is a fan of jackets so he's interested. Steve likes jackets but he only has 2. Janet has about a hundred jackets, they're like shirts to her. |
| 5:43
| Every once in a while Steve goes into the closet, grabs a bunch of her jackets and brings them to a coat drive. Then he sees a guy on Lower Wacker wearing one of them. Right on Steve, for cleaning out that coat closet. |
| 5:44
| Steve has a spring jacket and a Columbia winter jacket. They make a nice 2X. As a big and tubby gentleman, Steve suffered non-brand name clothes, like Harbor Bay. People on the news always complain about the fattening of America but for Steve it just means he can get name brand clothing. |
| 5:45
| It's the same thing with the Dockers, which Steve still hasn't received. Most likely for Steve's security benefit, they didn't ship the pants to him because the shipping and billing addresses were different. They're always different! |
| 5:46
| Steve also gets to wear stuff like Ralph Lauren now. So because of the fattening of America he doesn't stand out as much and he gets to wear name brand clothing. |
| 5:47
| If Steve's at a store and he gets the 2X it makes him seem muscular. Or if he's at the big and tall store, he's getting the smallest sizes they offer. So either way it's a feel-good. You're either the big domineering guy in the regular store or the petite guy in the big and tall store. |
| 5:52
| Time for today's web poll question. Yesterday's web poll was of course...Steve's going to need Ed to list the poll results in order. Yesterday's question was "which is your favorite sausage?" He has the third place listed first, the fourth place second, the second place third, the last place fourth and the first place last. Buzz is trying to detect a pattern. |
| 5:53
| Chorizo came in first place, owing to our large Hispanic listening audience. And Buzz's wife, she likes chorizo. Is there a chance she voted more than once? |
| 5:54
| Today's web poll question is "who is your favorite competitive eater?" This seems like a fake poll set up to flatter Patrick Bertoletti but Steve can't prove it. |
| 5:55
| Major League Eating: The Game, will make it's debut on WiiWare. Wii is of course the video game where you swing the controller around, or the bat or whatever. Wii is that videogame system they gave away on that radio station in California. If you didn't go to the bathroom you won. And then that woman died. She did win though. Do her kids still play that game? |
| 5:56
| The game will make it's debut as an exclusive, downloadable WiiWare game. It will make use of the Wii remote to to simulate the fast and furious eating experience. |
| 5:57
| Steve's trying to put together an eating competition in a starving nation. How great would that be, all those knuckleheads on stage shoving food in their mouth and starving people with flies in their eyes watching them. It's not just a contest, it's a social statement. |
| 5:58
| Players will use the Wii remote to execute different eating techniques including the cram, toss and typewriter. There will also be burp-offs and hot potato challenges. Buzz would go the distance to keep this game out of his house. |
| 5:59
| This article doesn't mention Patrick but he's probably in the game. He didn't mention anything about being paid for the game, he just forwarded the email along. |
| 6:00
| Knowing Patrick he probably doesn't know if he's in the game. He's still writing Steve emails about why he had a mohawk at the Escoffier dinner. |
| 6:01
| News with Buzz |
| 6:02
| The spotlight falls today on Ohio and Texas. Buzz feels like he's in cavernous mode today. That could be his voice. |
| 6:03
| The latest Reuters/C-SPAN/Houston Chronicle poll shows Hillary with a slight lead in Texas and tied in Ohio. Only the Democrats could finally have viable female and African-American candidates and have them destroy each other. |
| 6:04
| Rush Limbaugh is urging listeners in Texas to vote for Hillary Clinton. He says it will help the GOP if she's the nominee. Where does he get off saying any of that? |
| 6:05
| Steve's finding himself more and more attracted to John McCain's wife. She's rich too! |
| 6:06
| Ben Roethlisberger just signed the richest contract in the history of the Steelers. Meanwhile the Bears traded Brian Griese just to save $300,000. |
| 6:07
| A Pace University student caught on camera flushing copies of the Koran down a toilet has been sentenced to community service. Is he in trouble for clogging the toilet then? |
| 6:08
| Governor Blagojevich is again promising to help the historic Pilgrim Baptist Church. He promised to give them $1,000,000 to repair the historic church after a fire there. |
| 6:09
| Steve doesn't get this story. The state had to give the money to a school that rented space inside the church. That's how they got around the whole separation of church and state thing. |
| 6:10
| So why can't they just get that money back? If the state accidentally gives you $1,000,000, they can just get it back. It wasn't an accident but it got confused when they gave it to this school. Then the woman in charge of that school has the money and is trying to buy an office condo with it. |
| 6:11
| Then Blagojevich said that he was thinking the million they gave to the school could still do some good elsewhere. So apparently they have another million earmarked for the church? Didn't they just have problems with the buses? Blago is an idiot and he looks like a monkey. |
| 6:12
| The judge in Rezko's trial let him wear a tie, if Buzz didn't know that. He was worried that he wouldn't be able to look slick. From the judge's standpoint, you probably just want to let him wear the tie because otherwise they could claim a mistrial because he looked like a criminal without the tie. |
| 6:13
| They're also going to let him shave everyday. But he still has to share his underwear. Of course all that means is that the underwear gets laundered and he might not get the same pair back. |
| 6:14
| An off-duty Chicago police officer was arrested in Forest Park over the weekend. Officer Richard Schmidt (Schmidt happens) was at the Slainte Irish Pub breaking tables by jumping back first into them. How do you say that bar name? Steve think it's the Irish toast. |
| 6:15
| Brendan was actually on the sign when this happened, or at least he was in the area. In Forest Park there's a whole street of Irish bars and that's where they have the Westside Irish Parade, which Brendan attended. |
| 6:16
| You can't beat the Westside Irish Parade, a bunch of drunk Irish guys and then two Irish girls on a parade float. Nothing exciting happened to Brendan though. |
| 6:17
| A lot of those Irish girls blossom early and then three years later they go Potato Face on you. Some Irish girls stay cute though. Steve's sure that every nationality has these issues. |
| 6:18
| Brendan seems sensitive to this issue, did this happen to his sister or something? The last time Steve saw her she still looked cute. |
| 6:19
| Brendan took the Blue Line out to Forest Park on Saturday with some friends. One of their friends is a firefighter out there. Steve heard Matt giving Brendan a hard time on the webcast yesterday because they're both equally Irish but Brendan gets to claim it because he's got the Irish last name, Greeley. |
| 6:20
| Brendan's pretty sure he's more Irish than Matt, he can trace it all back to Ireland. He did go to Iowa though so that takes 25% off, plus he didn't go to Fenwick, that's another 25%. |
| 6:21
| So Brendan goes out there and gets hammered and then feels up every girl in the bar, hoping one will bite? He has a shirt that has a Gaelic phrase on it, he doesn't know what it means so that's a good conversation starter. It seems like it would be a short conversation though. |
| 6:22
| It didn't work out for Brendan on Saturday though. Sometimes everyone is so drunk that nothing happens for anyone. |
| 6:23
| Steve always thought Forest Park was more of an Italian area. Brendan did see some Italian girls wearing green t-shirts. How did he know they were Italian, did they have mustaches? |
| 6:24
| There was a point in the parade where a bunch of guys in Fast and the Furious cars came through. Steve was driving along one of those guys the other night, those cars are very fast. But maybe if they got better jobs they'd have better cars. In this country it's all about the size of the car. |
| 6:25
| Caller Rich has some info about Forest Park. Oak Park and River Forest used to be dry towns. There are a lot of bars on Madison because there are a lot of cemeteries there. People would drag their dead to the city limits so all the Germans set up beer halls. It used to be a German and Irish area. |
| 6:26
| It used to just be shot-and-beer bars but now the image has totally changed. There are still a few old man bars left though. That's Steve's kind of bar, just sit at the end, get hammered and don't talk to anyone. |
| 6:27
| Steve's seen Brendan get hammered, he could see how getting a lady for him would fall off the radar screen. |
| 6:33
| Steve's pretty sure we're still in the middle of the news. It was interrupted by a fine special report from Brendan. |
| 6:34
| A Buzz reported yesterday the Van Halen tour could be in jeopardy. It's now being revealed that Eddie Van Halen's problems are medical ones. |
| 6:35
| What are the medical problems? He had the cancer but Steve was thinking it was more falling off the wagon. It must be hard to tour, with David Lee Roth, and stay sober. |
| 6:36
| For some reason Buzz likes David Lee Roth. He saw him once in the leather chaps but he likes the Diamond Dave, Louis Prima stuff. Steve's going to recommend Louis Prima to Buzz instead. That way it can save him the embarrassment of the David Lee Roth admission. |
| 6:37
| Steve got an email yesterday about St. Patrick's day. According to the emailer, St. Patrick's Day is being celebrated on March 15th because March 17th is during Holy Week. |
| 6:38
| That's nice and all but we're not going by the Catholic St. Patrick's day. We're going with the get drunk, girls take their shirts off St. Patrick's day. |
| 6:39
| Live read: Chicago White Sox |
| 6:40
| Steve watched a little baseball yesterday, it gave him hope. Spring training is the best time because no one has anything bad to say. Bobby Jenks has a new cutter, his problems last year were mental, Greg Walker has everything figured out. |
| 6:41
| This is the best time of the season because everyone thinks they have a great team. Hawk and DJ couldn't have been more positive, even about the other team. |
| 6:42
| Steve has season tickets and this is the time of year when he off-loads some of the games because he can't go to 81 of them. It's a very complicated time because he has to decide which games to go to and which to offload. There was a time yesterday when he thought he would go to all 81 games. |
| 6:43
| This will be the first year Steve can go to opening day in quite some time. He's a baseball fan but he didn't think it was right to take the day off to go to opening day. |
| 6:44
| Steve will be able to get to night games much earlier too. Doing afternoons, he wouldn't get to the game until after the first inning. It's very hard to settle in after that. Now Steve can get there early, get a press pass and go on the field and get some dinner. |
| 6:45
| Steve was getting dressed in Mike's room this morning. Normally he gets dressed in Pat's room but he's home so he's sleeping in there. Now that the boys have moved out Steve feels they're all his rooms again. |
| 6:46
| Steve noticed his dress shoes, from the Escoffier dinner, in Mike's closet. Now Steve knows what happened to his other pair of shoes. Apparently the housekeeper thinks Mike has a $300 pair of shoes. |
| 6:47
| The boys are always borrowing Steve's stuff and then passing them between each other. It's impossible to track those things down, it's like a shell game. |
| 6:48
| Steve looked around in Mike's closet to see if there was anything else of his in there and found a Hawk and DJ bobblehead. It's two bobbleheads on one base. It made Steve want his own bobblehead. |
| 6:49
| There was a time when Steve was going to sell bobbleheads but no one ever pulled the trigger on it. Steve's pulling the trigger now, he'll have to talk to Adam. |
| 6:50
| Steve wants to take all the old stuff off the Dahl.com store and only have 5 things at once, that are rotated out regularly. He wants the Dahlfins t-shirts, a travel mug, a coffee mug and a bobblehead. Steve's selling t-shirts from years ago just because they still have 5 left. |
| 6:54
| That's a drop from Fever Pitch but when Steve divides up his tickets he does it by himself. It's a very complicated process. A few years ago Steve made some mistakes. He didn't think the Tigers would be any good and they were that year. |
| 6:55
| It's hard to determine which games you want to go to in August, or even June or May. What Steve wants to do is just keep all the tickets and if he doesn't want to go to a game he'll call up one of the 4 people he sells tickets to and offer a game to them. |
| 6:56
| Steve is going to all three Cubs/Sox games this year although David from The Little Guys will complain. He needs to go to at least one. David's a Cubs fan so he likes to see a game at The Cell. Plus when David and Ed are at the games, Steve hears about it all season and they end up on TV. Take that up to the Northside! |
| 6:57
| Usually it works out fine for Steve except for that one time he miscalculated the Tigers. And last year with the Twins. It's hard to have a bad time at a ball game though, especially when all-you-can-eat hot dogs are included in the ticket price. |
| 6:58
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:59
| Steve would like to go to the tape of Lenny Kaspar and Bob Brenly talking about Ed and David at the Cubs/Sox game. Steve calls him Lenny because he met him backstage at the Comcast Awards. |
| 7:00
| Turns out Len's a fan of the show and he said he'd come on anytime. Len and Bob Brenly do a really good job on the Cubs games, Steve listened to them during last year's playoff run. It's hard to keep track of two baseball teams. |
| 7:01
| Just to set this clip up, Ed and David from The Little Guys are at the Cubs/Sox game. Ed looks like Ozzy Osbourne and David is wearing a RIck Sutcliffe jersey. Guys wear the old jerseys to show they've been a fan longer than you have. Sunday at the Sox game there was a guy wearing a Tony Amonte jersey. He hasn't been on the team for years! |
| 7:02
| Ben Gay is here with sports. He's hear a little early, he thought he'd do an early morning thing with Buzz. Just call him Angel of the Morning. |
| 7:03
| Buzz is glad to have Ben here when the sun comes up. It's not the first time they've been together when the sun comes up though. Ben's an early riser and then he goes back to sleep. |
| 7:04
| He got himself a mocha and scone, read the sports and decided to come in early. It's good to get it out of the way and then he'll go home and look on Craigslist for an erotic massage. |
| 7:05
| Buzz is welcome to come over and watch some Spencer Tracy movies with Ben. He's one of Buzz's favorite actors. Ben could pop some popcorn for them. |
| 7:06
| Ben purchased the candy counter from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. He had a home theater in his bedroom at one time. Is there any particular movie Buzz would like to see? |
| 7:07
| As much as Buzz loves the Spencer Tracy comedies he'd go with Bad Day at Black Rock. Ben loves a good Western. Can they watch Brokeback Mountain after that? |
| 7:08
| Now on to the sports. Alfonso Soriano has a broken middle finger on his right hand and it'll take longer than previously thought to heal. It could take 1 to 2 weeks to heal. |
| 7:09
| Lou Piniella said that Aramis Ramirez (sore shoulder) and Daryle Ward (strained gluteus) will make their spring debut today. |
| 7:10
| Former Cubs outfielder Corey Patterson and infield Jerry Hairston Jr. agreed to minor league contracts with the Reds yesterday, coached by Dusty Baker. |
| 7:11
| The Hawks take on the Wild tonight. Did Buzz see any of that poor little fella Jonathan Toews getting hit with a stick? Now he's all stitched up, the poor little fella. |
| 7:12
| The Bears traded Brian Griese to Tampa Bay for an undisclosed draft pick. So Buzz won't have him to kick around any more. |
| 7:13
| He had that great game against the Eagles and took credit for the final drive. Then the Bears made him change his story. Always a good idea, you don't want your QB to have any confidence. |
| 7:14
| That's the Jerry Angelo, I'm tanner than everyone else school of thought, or the Ron Turner, I have a low IQ school of thought. He just wanted credit for something other than being the best looking Turner brother. |
| 7:15
| It looks like someone put out a fire with an ice pick on brother Norv's face. Ben does not like the Turner brothers, if Buzz couldn't tell. They don't like him either because he's so handsome. |
| 7:21
| Buzz needs to talk because Steve has a mouth full of food. He's having his breakfast and he did not time it out too well. |
| 7:22
| That was a 6 minute break and Steve thought he had more time and got cocky. Plus he had to talk to Ben Gay. |
| 7:23
| They talked about money because Ben always wants more money. Steve thinks we're paying him enough but with all these football players getting new deals Ben's thinking about a new deal for himself. |
| 7:24
| Live read: Hawthorne Racetrack |
| 7:25
| Has Buzz seen the story about the missing Chinese girl? The hot missing Chinese girl. When you through in the picture it changes the whole thing. |
| 7:26
| And the woman's husband is just some knucklehead from Sheboygan. He's a sausage from Sheboygan. |
| 7:27
| The bride is mail order! Well it's online dating. He might have gone to China to meet her but it was online. |
| 7:28
| She probably just ran off with her old boyfriend or something. People don't just get kidnapped at the international terminal at O'Hare. Or maybe he was at the wrong door. He doesn't seem like the brightest guy. Again, Sheboygan. |
| 7:29
| She has to be here since she checked in at customs. She must have just slipped by him. He's acting like she was kidnapped and is now a sex slave. They don't do that at O'hare. |
| 7:30
| Then the guy put up posters with her face on it in Chinatown. Way to stereotype. She's Chinese so she's going to go right to Chinatown? |
| 7:31
| Caller Chris knew guy who picked out a Russian girl on a website. He found a girl, she sent him a million photos and then he went down there and brought her back. And by down there he means Russia. That's technically over there. |
| 7:32
| The guy told the girl he was rich and owned his own business. In reality he's works overnights as a bagger in a grocery store and lives with his parents. She befriended Chris' girlfriend which is how he knows all this. She was smoking hot though. |
| 7:33
| Chris still has some photos of her, there was a time when she was trying to become a model. He'll forward them on to Steve when he gets home today. |
| 7:34
| After 5 years they got divorced. So something must happen after 5 years and the women just leave. |
| 7:35
| There was a time a few years ago that Steve was going to take Pete over to Russia and get him a bride. |
| 7:36
| Of course Pete's not a loser and Steve would be with him so they'd be a couple of cool guys. |
| 7:37
| Caller Anna was the one who sent Steve that toffee. He did get it and he liked it. |
| 7:38
| Anna wanted to let Steve know that after 5 years people can apply for citizenship. So that must be what happened. |
| 7:39
| This woman is on the loose, Steve needs to find her. He could base his whole spa operation on her. |
| 7:40
| Tina's leaving so that could free up some money for the spa operation. Buzz is shocked, he didn't know TIna was leaving. She gave her two weeks notice yesterday in a very formal resignation letter. |
| 7:41
| She's going to work for a newspaper. Buzz is focused on that and Steve's talking about his spa. |
| 7:42
| Steve was thinking of shortening that time up to 1 week though, he likes to have control. Usually when someone quits Steve they're out of there that day but he was shocked by the letter. |
| 7:43
| What if Steve shortened it up to Friday? That way she has a week off to find new clothing for her job. Buzz is just wondering who will arrange his papers in the morning. |
| 7:44
| Every morning Buzz comes in and the newspapers are meticulously laid out on the desk next to his computer. He assumed it was Tina who did that. Did he ever think maybe it was Jim, his suite mate? |
| 7:45
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. Usually Tina or Stephanie lay out the papers but sometimes Jim will do it. So there won't be a lapse in newspaper arrangement for Buzz. And how are they arranged exactly? |
| 7:46
| They're just neatly lined up, one on top of the other. The Sun-Times on top, that's Buzz's preferred paper. It's easier to read, Steve has to admit that. The Tribune might want to rethink their format, it requires a lot of folding but it does look better. |
| 7:47
| So Steve's guessing that Chinese woman just took off. Eventually she'll have to come forward if she wants a divorce but right now she's getting her ducks in a row. And there's no better place to do that than in the offices of the Steve Dahl Show. |
| 7:52
| Is Pete still interested in a Russian bride or should they go Asian? Steve's thinking Asian. And it's perfect for Pete because he'll probably want her gone in 5 years anyway. He doesn't have to do anything untoward like kill her either. |
| 7:53
| Who knows, Pete's weird enough, quiet enough and keeps to himself to the point where his bride might actually like him. |
| 7:54
| What does Pete feel like, Chinese or Thai? Steve thinks Chinese just because that's a window into Chinatown. There's no Thaitown. Plus China is the wave of the future. |
| 7:55
| Would Pete have a problem with his bride working for Steve as his personal masseuse? She has to earn a living some how. Steve just doesn't want Pete getting liquored-up and trying to rub him down. |
| 7:56
| Actually, even that would be fine with Steve. Pete could get himself some of that Chinese beer, Tsingtsao and get drunk. Does anyone know what Steve's talking about? |
| 7:57
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. Steve saw a troubling image on the news last night. Hillary Clinton was on a plane and Ted Danson was 3 rows behind her leaning in. How does Becker make anyone want to vote for her?! Steve likes him on Damages but he doesn't care what he thinks. |
| 7:58
| The beer Steve was talking about was Tsingtao. Steve doesn't recall having had that, it's not bad. Jim doesn't drink it that often, maybe when he's at a Chinese restaurant. He usually drinks Spare Tire right? It's actually Fat Tire. Jim likes obscure beer but he'll also drink Bud Light. |
| 7:59
| Steve's going to have to pass an edict that everyone on the show drink Budweiser when there's a staff dinner. Otherwise the beer order sounds like Mad Libs. |
| 8:00
| Does Jim want an Asian bride too? He's been dating the same girl for over two years and he hasn't pulled the trigger yet? His brother is getting married soon, maybe he should two-for-one it. Something to think about. |
| 8:01
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. He's game for some Asian brides. Could he maybe find a good website for them? The key is the parties. Everyone goes over there and goes to parties to meet the women. |
| 8:02
| So Pete and Adam are in but Jim is out. He's going to be jealous when they come back with hot Asian brides. What about Ed? There's a guy who could use an Asian bride. |
| 8:03
| Pete does think Ed would go, he's very picky. He has a girl that he target, that's just his type. Pete doesn't see Ed going over to China and going all willy-nilly. Steve's pretty sure that no one in China is named Willy Nilly. |
| 8:04
| How does Steve get a hold of Ed then? He has a cellphone number and when you call that, you get a really long message about how you shouldn't leave a message because he rarely checks his voicemail on that phone. |
| 8:05
| It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve and Buzz will be enjoying their original tacos today, one of nature's perfect superfoods. |
| 8:06
| Ed is on the phone. Just so he knows Steve did not leave a voicemail on that phone so Ed shouldn't get mad. What happens if people leave a voicemail on that phone? Does he hunt them down like dogs? |
| 8:07
| Ed is absolutely in for a Chinese bride. Pete and Adam were giving Ed a hard time about it, especially Adam. Ed's not taking the bait from Adam as much as he used to though. |
| 8:08
| So it's Pete, Adam, Brendan and Ed. Steve could probably get some sort of deal on that, his trip might be free. Ed suggests they start in Hong Kong. |
| 8:09
| Steve's trying to Google it but his search quickly descends into porn. Maybe Steve should take the guy from Sheboygan as well. He might still be looking for her though. |
| 8:10
| Buzz might not be interested in Chinese brides but what about porn camp? Learn the art of producing and marketing porno movies at an exhaustive camp in Tampa. |
| 8:11
| The camp is run by Courtney...Steve can't say that word on the air. Let's say Courtney Arrives. She was last year's...Steve can't say that either. She specializes in something. |
| 8:12
| Steve can't read this on the air. And it's from Todd Cavanah. Anyway you direct your own porno scene, something nice to take home to the family. Buzz is wondering if you can direct and star. |
| 8:13
| Is Ed still on the phone? For a time he was in the pornography game. This camp might be something to do before going to China. Ed was one of the first guys to have streaming video but his mistake was giving people free 5 minute preview. |
| 8:14
| It seems to Steve that you wouldn't be in a porno at porn camp. If you want to be in a porn can't you just be in one? This seems like it's more like perverts who want to get near girls. That's why Steve thought of Ed. Just kidding. |
| 8:15
| Steve was trying to go to Ed on hold but it's Pat Boyle. He never went to porn camp though. Isn't Pat supposed to be on at 8:30? Does he wait on hold for 15 minutes? |
| 8:16
| Pat was calling in early to work a few things out with the sports. That's done ahead of time? It never seems like there's that much put into it. |
| 8:17
| Steve doesn't have many regrets in life but once he was staying at the Graciela Hotel in Burbank. Mary Louise Parker was on the same floor as Steve and she had a line of three rooms. There were Post-It notes on each door asking people not to know because her baby was sleeping. So Steve took down each note and knocked on the door. He's a hooligan. |
| 8:18
| Across the street from the hotel was a bar where every week they have Porn Star Karaoke. It's not like they're naked anything but still, Steve should have gone over there. |
| 8:25
| Does Buzz want to know more about Porn Camp? This is actually for Porn Academy. it's a detailed explanation. |
| 8:26
| This thing is in Prague and if you have a still or video camera you can sign up to learn how to film porno movies. |
| 8:27
| There are so many things to do and so little time. Some of this stuff might require a lawyer though. |
| 8:28
| Live read: Kent Dean |
| 8:29
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time. This probably isn't the time to mention this to Pete but there's something wrong with the timer on Steve's machine. |
| 8:30
| The timer is at zero but the song is still going on. Steve needs to know where it ends so he can seamlessly transition to the next thing he needs to play. |
| 8:31
| Nothing for Pat to worry his pretty little head about. It's good to know he's been working since 8:15 on this sportscast. He was at Comcast late last night so he knows all this stuff. |
| 8:32
| So the Bears parted ways with a couple more players. Brian Griese was expected but Pat thinks they're really going to miss Brendan Ayanbadejo. |
| 8:33
| Steve doesn't think he should have said he wanted to be the highest paid special teams guy in the NFL. Even if he does he shouldn't say that, it's not a good way to negotiate. |
| 8:34
| He should have known that the squeaky wheel gets moved when it comes to the Bears. Look at Buzz, he's the highest paid newsman bluesman in the country but he doesn't say it. Him and his agent Stu Rosenhaus handle that all behind-the-scenes. |
| 8:35
| Any thoughts that Bears fans had for getting Randy Moss are gone, he resigned with New England. He led the league in touchdown receptions last year but some how Bernard Berrian got the bigger deal with his 5 touchdown catches. Steve understands why he took that deal. No need to even pretend you're going to check out Oakland. Sign the deal and try not to get your drool on it. |
| 8:36
| The Bears have a lot of needs that still need to be addressed though. Maybe they have big plans for the draft. |
| 8:37
| It was good to hear Hawk and DJ back in action yesterday. Steve's boy Mike McDougal didn't have a great game. That guy needs to be taken out back and shot. |
| 8:38
| Hawk likes the attitude of the team when he surveys the clubhouse. That's good for Steve. |
| 8:39
| Meanwhile the Cubs are dealing with a slew of very weird injuries. You had Mark DeRosa's irregular heartbeat. Jose Ascansio getting punched in the face during a stick-up attempt. |
| 8:40
| Then Alfonso Soriano broke his finger shagging fly balls without a mit. But the most painful so far has to be Felix Pie's twisted testicle. Ouch! How does one sustain that injury? A bike ride? |
| 8:41
| Pat thought Buzz's first band was called Twisted Testicle. Hey cable boy! Pat ran that one through the proper channels before he said it. Did he? Even the joke? It's not bad for a sports guy but when Buzz shies away from it. |
| 8:42
| Buzz just took his course on decency so he knows all about this. Did he? The one we were supposed to take 3 years ago? This is actually a refresher course. Steve took his too, can they compare certificates? |
| 8:43
| So Jonathan Toews should be back in action tonight after getting over 50 stitches in Sunday's game. One of his teeth went through his lip. |
| 8:44
| Steve was sitting right there when it happened and he though he just got boarded but the guy also hit him in the face with his stick. |
| 8:45
| Steve has the big puck drop tomorrow. He's just dropping the puck and getting back to his seat, he's not doing anything else. He's not sure which players will be there at the puck drop though. The Anaheim captain is Chris Pronger but the Hawks seem to have rotating captains. |
| 8:46
| Could Pat talk to his guy with the Blackhawks and see if they could introduce him as "season ticket holder Steve Dahl"? |
| 8:51
| According to ESPN Brett Favre is retiring. We'll have to see about that. |
| 8:52
| Now on St. Patrick's day Steve and Buzz will be doing a live broadcast at Phil Stefani's Riva at Navy Pier. An emailer wanted to let Steve and Buzz know that the Catholic Church was celebrating St. Patrick's day on the 15th this year. |
| 8:53
| We're not going by that, we're going by the get-drunk, puke green beer, girls take their tops off day which is March 17th. Steve and Buzz will be at Riva's from 5:30 am to 10 am. |
| 8:54
| This is the first Jack FM remote which is apparently a big deal. It's not Steve and Buzz's first remote ever though. What time to people get to start drinking? Probably right at 5:30 right? |
| 8:55
| Back in the day Steve would have been right along with the listeners and drunk by 8 am. Who knows what he would have said between 8 and 10 though. |
| 8:56
| Does Buzz want to do some news? Or should we wait until 9 to make it an official newscast? Steve says that assuming he can come up with something to talk about for 3 minutes. |
| 8:57
| Steve's a little suspicious of the Brett Favre retirement report, especially after last season. The Packers almost made the Super Bowl. Steve thinks Brett just likes the attention. Then he'll get attention for not retiring. He'll probably cry today, retire, drink some Gatorade to replenish his fluids and then come back and say he's not retiring. |
| 8:58
| Brett was crying on New Year's Eve last year after the Packers beat the Bears. That was the game where Rex couldn't concentrate because he was thinking about his New Year's Eve plans. Him and his wife were going out with Moose and his wife, how much fun can that be? Moose is very preachy. The only way it could be fun is if they went to Medieval times. |
| 8:59
| Watching the entire first season of The Tudors, and the jousting therein, only made Steve want to go to Medieval Times more for New Year's Eve. He can never get anyone to go with him and it doesn't seem like a place you should go alone. |
| 9:00
| Maybe Steve will learn to how to joust and and get a job at Medieval Times. It would probably be hard to get him off a horse, he has a low center of gravity. Plus Medieval Times has everything Steve loves; wenches, turkey legs, and pitchers of soft drinks. Actually he'd love to do a New Year's TV show from there. It would be way better than Eric and Kathy or Janet Davies. |
| 9:01
| The Janet Davies special is so bad that Mark Giangreco called in sick because he didn't want to do it. He left her there with Lou Canelis, a nose passing for a man, and Doug Banks who does not look cool on TV. That Hispanic girl is pretty hot though. |
| 9:02
| Why is ABC 190 N. State when this building is further North? We're only 180 but the building is right on Lake Street. |
| 9:03
| Steve plays the Janet Davies tape from two years ago. It's brutal. Whenever Steve struggles on the air, Pete should pop that tape in. That's on TV too, in HD. |
| 9:04
| Janet just kept going though, she's plucky. Steve probably would have thrown the phone but she didn't want to ruin our New Year's Eve. |
| 9:05
| News with Buzz |
| 9:06
| Barack Obama tries to extend his winning streak while Hillary tries to stop her slide. The latest polls show tight races in both states. Last night Hillary beamed into The Daily Show. She's on the comedy circuit now. |
| 9:07
| Without impressive wins in both states Hillary could be pressured to drop out of the race. Once again, Steve would like to point out that only the Democrats could have an African-American and female candidate and have them destroy each other. |
| 9:08
| Meanwhile Rush Limbaugh is urging his listeners in Texas to vote for Hillary Clinton. He wants to see Obama bloodied up. Aren't there some polls that also show that Obama could beat McCain? |
| 9:09
| A West Palm Beach firefighter was killed during a shooting at a Wendy's. He had gone back in to retrieve a toy his child left when he was shot in the back. |
| 9:10
| The State Supreme Court of California will hear arguments today about same-sex marriage. |
| 9:11
| Exciting news from outer space. All news from outer space is exciting Buzz. NASA has captured the first images ever of an avalanche on Mars' North Pole. |
| 9:12
| Tomorrow at 6 am we'll be talking to Dan Tani. He's back in town or at least back on Earth. |
| 9:13
| Conrad Black spent his first night in jail. He reported to a low security prison in Florida yesterday. |
| 9:14
| Steve has heard through his sources that Steve Stone will be joining Ed Farmer in the broadcast booth full time. |
| 9:15
| He was apparently on Mike North's show, Steve's going to listen to a little of that now. Chris Singleton is going to Baseball Tonight. |
| 9:16
| Stone Pony is going to need to liven things up a bit during the games though. Steve liked when he was on with Hawk last year though. |
| 9:17
| Steve's trying to remember if Steve Stone was on with Ed at all or just with Hawk. He might have filled in for Ed at some point too. |
| 9:24
| Steve would just like to point out that Stone Pony is his nickname for Steve Stone. He also invented the term cheesehead. |
| 9:25
| Steve remembers where he was when he came up with that term but he doesn't get credit for it. |
| 9:26
| Will Steve and Ed be broadcasting that Sox game today then? There's a game today so it's probably being broadcast right? |
| 9:27
| It's hard to tell on these team websites, there's a lot going on. And the Score website seems as busy as the White Sox website. |
| 9:28
| Live read: Johnsonville Brats |
| 9:29
| We're finished with the news right? Conrad Black, still in jail. George Ryan will get out a few months earlier than Conrad Black, he also got 6 1/2 years. Apparently that's a popular term for old men. |
| 9:30
| Caller J.R. wanted to let Steve know that the next radio broadcast for the White Sox will be this Friday. That's few and far between when you're jonesing for baseball. |
| 9:31
| Did Buzz happen to see that plane landing in Germany? The landing was so bad that Lufthansa is offering passengers psychological counseling. |
| 9:32
| J.R. is a big Sox fan. He's nervous about Contreras this year. They already have Steve's money, they've had it since November. How about a little time for him to get over them finishing in last place?! |
| 9:33
| This is from White Sox.com, it says listen in today as the Sox take on the Angels. You can listen online so maybe it's a closed circuit. |
| 9:34
| Steve would call Ed Farmer but he's unreachable. He says he has email but it doesn't seem like he checks it. He has a cellphone which he checks about once a week. |
| 9:35
| More and more Steve is seeing the wisdom in being unreachable. Buzz used to be unreachable but lately he's weakened in the email department. If you email Buzz you can expect a response within 24 hours. |
| 9:36
| All Ed wants to do is broadcast baseball game. Tom Thayer is sort of like that too. He has an iPhone but he doesn't let on that he can get email on it. |
| 9:37
| Did Buzz happen to see those photos that Tom sent in on Dahl.com? Offshore, right in front of his place, this guy was in an inflatable raft and a whale breached right in front of him. |
| 9:38
| To that guy it must look like the end of the world. His wife got some really good photos from shore which Tom sent in. |
| 9:39
| Live read: Hawthorne Racetrack |
| 9:44
| One of the reasons the show doesn't go to Hawaii any more is because the last few times Steve was swimming and people on the beach thought he was a whale. He was wearing dark trunks and he has webbed feet but still. |
| 9:45
| Steve's never been whale watching in Hawaii but you can see a lot of stuff from the beach. Buzz remembers seeing quite a show from his balcony the last time we were there. That's all fake, the whales are just on tracks. |
| 9:46
| The coolest thing about the whales in Hawaii is if you go underwater you can hear them calling. Some people find that sound relaxing but it sounds like they're in pain. Steve finds it agitating but it's still cool that you can hear it. |
| 9:47
| Steve tried to go diving in Florida but the boat left without him, a half hour early. That really hurt. So instead Steve went to Le Tub and got a burger. |
| 9:48
| Steve took some photos at Le Tub with his iPhones. He tried some artsy ones of his sunglasses on the table but how artsy can they be with an iPhone? |
| 9:49
| One thing he didn't take a photo of was the burger. That was stupid. Then he took another photo of the picnic table, thinking he'd want that for a screensaver. |
| 9:50
| Steve used the bathroom at Le Tub, it was two holer. When he walked in there there was a guy using the bathroom already. You need to lock that door if you're in a bathroom like that. |
| 9:51
| Steve went to the diving place and the boat was gone but there were still guys who worked for the company. They just said the boat had left already. |
| 9:52
| So Steve went into his car and looked up Le Tub on Google. The cool thing about the iPhone is when the number comes up you can click on it and it'll dial. |
| 9:53
| The guy who answered at Le Tub said they open between 11:30 and 12. Turns out that's when the cook/owner arrives. Steve wasn't the first one there either so it took about 45 minutes to get his burger. |
| 9:54
| Caller Bob's daughter goes to school up in near Green Bay. Every TV station is staying with the Favre story all day. What are they staying with? |
| 9:55
| They've been flashing his stats on TV all day, like he died or something. They don't really have anything else going on up in Green Bay though. |
| 9:56
| That Green Bay is a dreadful town, there's nothing going on there. We're not just saying that because we're from Chicago, there is literally nothing going in in Green Bay. |
| 9:57
| You'd think he wouldn't retire after this year, they got so close to the Super Bowl. If you go to the Super Bowl and lose, then you're somehow a bigger loser than the rest of the teams that didn't make it. |
| 9:58
| We know that all to well in Chicago. Of course Steve doesn't mind that he's retiring or that the Packers are in upheaval. |
| 9:59
| So we can probably expect a very teary press conference sometime this afternoon then right? He got pretty teary-eyed at that New Year's Eve game and ended up not retiring. He's probably drinking plenty of fluids right now because he knows how much he'll be crying at the press conference. |
