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| 5:28
| That's The Cars there, just what Steve needed. It's not quite 5:30 yet and Steve has a rule about that. He can't be giving it away. |
| 5:29
| Steve's going to see what he can play here to fill the time. Good morning everybody, enjoy this! |
| 5:30
| And good morning everybody, live from downtown Chicago in Prudential Plaza building 2. It's the Steve Dahl Show featuring Buzz Kilman, newsman/bluesman. |
| 5:31
| The harmonica took quite a hit on American Idol last night. Harmonicking as we know it was set back several decades. Chikezie, who's black, sang The Beatles' I've Just Seen a Face. At some point he went into a country version of it with a harmonica solo. |
| 5:32
| Simon Cowell wasn't happy with the second week in a row of Beatles songs. It did seem like they were pushing their luck since it went so well last week. |
| 5:33
| Does Pete have that ready? Steve likes to think that when he mentions something Pete is readying the audio just in case it's needed. And if not, at least he had it ready. Steve realizes that Pete's out-the-door, he's got his resume ready and he's been spotted accosting Eric and Kathy in the lobby. He wants to work for a show that means something. |
| 5:34
| Steve knows it's still early and there's a lot of show left so he could save the audio. But then again there are a lot of people up and driving right now. Steve had to get around a lot of them on the road today. |
| 5:35
| Does Buzz want to hear the bad harmonica playing? The worst harmonica playing is really bad. Some could argue it's all bad. Steve's favorite part of Monday's broadcast was Buzz shaking his head at the bad harmonica playing from one of the Larkin & Moran Brothers. They're all oblivious though, otherwise he would have broken one of their hearts. |
| 5:36
| Chikezie's not a bad singer though but even Steve can recognize it as bad harmonica playing. Buzz isn't going to say it's bad. Does Buzz only break bad on the white harmonica players then? This is exactly what Barack Obama was talking about yesterday. |
| 5:37
| Buzz has heard John Lennon play harmonica just like that in Beatles songs. Steve thinks he could play just as good as Chikezie. He's probably right. |
| 5:38
| Simon was the only one who didn't like the harmonica playing. Randy Jackson said it was "coololicious". Buzz has to start watching this show. Steve loves when Randy Jackson calls the girls "dude". |
| 5:39
| There's an Asian girl who sort of looks like she'd be a prostitute in the Philippines. She's cute but she just has a Philippines sex worker look to her. The backing band she was using didn't do a great job on the song but Simon criticized her for that. |
| 5:40
| Someone in the band had some sort of instrument that you blow through but there are keys on it like a piano. The Hooters used to play it a lot. |
| 5:41
| Steve's not sure what the Asian girl's name is and he doesn't really care. |
| 5:42
| The Asian girl is a good singer too but she took a hit for the band's bad arrangement which wasn't her fault. Then Simon again ripped on Chikezie's harmonica playing. |
| 5:43
| Does Pete have that too? Steve knows this is a lot for him to do, especially when he's not paying attention to the show. |
| 5:44
| Pete's busy logging the Eric & Kathy Show, pointing out ways he can improve it. Pete would totally change his image if he worked for them. He'd go by Peter to get as far away from the Petey Pie image as possible. Of course Petey Pie was the name that a listener gave to Pete after he nailed her on a Mexico trip. He picked the biggest blabbermouth of all time, she couldn't' stop telling Steve everything that happened. |
| 5:45
| She went on the trip not being a fan of the show, she kept telling Steve she'd never even heard of him. But then by the end she had become a fan. That's probably because Pete threw one into her. |
| 5:46
| Song: All You Zombies, The Hooters |
| 5:52
| That's The Hooters who are named after The Hooter, which is the nickname for the melodica. Buzz isn't familiar with the melodica but it does have keys. He does like to collect weird harmonica-type instruments, he should think about picking one up. |
| 6:00
| That's The Family Guy's American Idol send up. That's a funny show but they get away with a lot of stuff that's not that funny. It's only funny because it's a cartoon with a talking baby that has a British accent and a talking dog that has a thing for his female owner. |
| 6:01
| It's like the Geico lizard with the cockney accent, Eliza Dolizard as Steve likes to call him. He actually just thought of that now. Buzz loves it and it'll be a huge hit around his house. He can take credit for it if he'd like. |
| 6:02
| Alright it's time for the web poll. Of course Monday's web poll was about the mail order brides where Ed came in first place. That could be due in part to the pollsitter who kept voting for Ed over and over because he doesn't like him. |
| 6:03
| Yesterday Steve got an email from that guy, making fun of Ed for liking the Bond movies and demanding that Ed hand the keys of Dahl.com over to Adam. FIrst of all, how does this guy know Ed likes James Bond? And second, this guy needs to stop being a jag. |
| 6:04
| Why is Ed's website cooler than Steve's? His website has sweet jazz music on it. And why isn't Steve listed first under the list of Ed's clients? Steve doesn't want emails from this guy any more though, he's going to authorize Ed to block him. Let's see how smart he is then. |
| 6:05
| Steve's name probably isn't first because the list is alphabetical. That's a cheap way for Ed to get out of it. Ed's on the phone now. He just had to switch phones because he wasn't ready for the call. Is that because he had two prosties in the bed from last night? He did some crazy stuff last night, one of them might be dead. |
| 6:06
| Why doesn't Steve have sweet jazz music on Dahl.com? Ed thinks he'd put the jazz music on there and then Steve would wonder what it is. Ed saw the email from this guy but he didn't even open it. How did he know who it was from though? The subject line was all in lower case which is how must people on this show type emails. What if Ed had deleted an email about James Bond from Pete? |
| 6:07
| Ed doesn't ever remember talking about his love for James Bond, except briefly when that last movie came out. So the guy probably saw it on an old show log. Is he stalking Ed or something? |
| 6:08
| Steve has his share of stalkers but unfortunately they're also all dudes. Steve doesn't care if you're into homebrewing, he doesn't find it sexy. |
| 6:09
| So yeah this guy probably just found a James Bond mention on the show log. Ed thinks maybe he doesn't have a job. He doesn't have his own information technology firm like Ed does. |
| 6:10
| So can Ed put Steve's name first on his client list? What about right on top under a separate "Featured Site" heading? Or how about "Funniest Client"? Funnier than Allstate though? |
| 6:11
| Ed got the Thought for the Day sent out right? That one came rolling out of Steve's cabesa this morning around 4:14 AM. It was right as he was letting one of the dogs out which was irritating. |
| 6:12
| Steve also needed to talk to Adam about something. Ed won't give Adam the keys to Dahl.com but based on how that old WCKG website was Steve can see why. |
| 6:13
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. He was just joking about that, he realized what he was saying after he said it. Adam reminds Steve that it wasn't him who designed the website. Can't Adam just take the apology? Lately Steve's had to apologize several times to people. |
| 6:14
| A few weeks ago he had to apologize to the engineer three times. Steve really hurt his feelings. The engineers and computer guys can be very sensitive. It's not a manly field like DJ. The mistake was that Steve apologized right off the bat and the engineer still thought there'd be more. |
| 6:15
| Yesterday Steve mentioned that he'd like to get some interns here who are hot and female. He can't really say that in the job description, legally. Steve changed Adam's description of the show to "most successful and enduring radio shows" The rest of the description isn't that bad. |
| 6:16
| Steve's a little disappointed that some enterprising college student didn't email him after he mentioned the intern search yesterday. Kids today Buzz, kids today! |
| 6:17
| Steve wrote his own job description which is more freewheeling. It might be lame now that he reads Adam's job description though. Steve sent this out twice to several people and didn't get any feedback from it. |
| 6:18
| The job description starts off by mentioning that interns will begin by probably getting Steve food and medication. But he also mentions that a lot of current employees started off that way too. If you're willing to keep your yapper shut and pay attention you could learn a lot. |
| 6:19
| Should Steve change it to corned beef sandwiches and medication? The PS is that Steve deals X. He doesn't really but it'll be too late when the new intern finds that out. Brendan deals X though so they can still get some. |
| 6:26
| Steve still doesn't get what's so bad about having a guy who's job was to get him corned beef sandwiches. He'll freely admit it. That's how Steve got started, he used to get sandwiches at Stottlemeyer's Deli for the Obscene Steven Clean. |
| 6:27
| Steve started out getting sandwiches and dope. You don't have to get him dope though, just prescription medication. |
| 6:28
| Alright time for today's web poll. Yesterday's question was "Do you have plans for spring break?" 51% said yes, 49% said no. You hate to lose half your audience in the coming weeks but Steve and Buzz have to soldier on. They can't do a half-assed show, they already do one. Then it would be a quarter-assed show. |
| 6:29
| Live read: Chicago White Sox |
| 6:30
| Alright, today's web poll question is "Who kicks more ass?" The options are Sara Amato, Felice Herrig, Beth Horn and Rita Figueroa. Buzz didn't know who any of those women were until Steve said "Rita Figueroa". |
| 6:31
| This is an article from Chicago Magazine, which Steve tries to read. They whore themselves out too much though. Like last month there were pages and pages of advertisements of doctors talking about how they were best. All they did was buy an advertisement in the magazine. |
| 6:32
| If it's not doctors then it's lawyers. It just shows they can be bought, there's 100 pages of proof right in the middle of the magazine. |
| 6:33
| Sarah Amato is part of Shimmer Professional Wrestling. She wrestles in Berwyn. After graduation high school the only thing that interested her was wrestling. Her worst injury was two dislocated shoulders. Steve wouldn't mind seeing some wrestling in Berwyn. |
| 6:34
| Beth Horn's nickname is Venom. If Buzz is going to keep Piper in the Ultimate Fighting she'll need a nickname. Right now he calls her the Windmill of Death which is a bit long. It's good though. Buzz always calls her the WIndmill of Death. Then he sits her down and explains to her why it's not technically spring break yet. |
| 6:35
| Steve wrote a little bit about Easter in his blog today. He learned that Easter occurs the Sunday after the first full moon after the solstice. So this is the earliest Easter can be. It's only been this early 2 times since the 1800s. |
| 6:36
| The Christians always do that, they throw in there stuff right around the pagan celebrations. Plus they always top the pagan stuff. Jesus died and then was resurrected. |
| 6:37
| Beth Horn trains for American Gladiators in Greektown. She's also a personal trainer. And she does gymnastics. |
| 6:38
| Felice Herrig, aka Lil' Bulldog, trains for mixed martial arts in Buffalo Grove. That's what Piper does right? |
| 6:39
| Finally Rita Figueroa, aka La Guerra. Her sport is boxing. Buzz knows Rita because Piper takes martial arts at a place where Rita is an instructor. So Buzz knows her? Has she trained Piper? |
| 6:40
| Her worst injury was a broken cheekbone from a head butt. Yikes! It's a tough game. |
| 6:41
| Buzz will actually be attending Rita's next fight. Give her Steve's best. Buzz will probably tell her she needs to kick Steve's ass. |
| 6:42
| Buzz didn't know Rita taught there though. He should get her into boxing. Piper got choked by the girl that she fought a few weeks ago and she was crying. Did Buzz make her walk home? |
| 6:43
| The girls fought to a draw in the first fight so maybe they had some unfinished business. You're supposed to tap out if you need to but she didn't do it. |
| 6:50
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:51
| The type on this copy could not be smaller. It's like they wrote it on a pinhead. |
| 6:52
| It seems like the type is smaller so they can get more words in but you can't do that. It's the little guys, Steve doesn't mind going over. That being said, watch what he does with it. |
| 6:53
| Caller John is sounding very goofy. What's going on over there? John's on a headset, safety first. John just parked though. So take the headset off! |
| 6:54
| Don't Bluetooth Steve OK? Plus he was cutting out on Steve. It was a borderline call anyway, he wanted to talk about Rolling Rock and they don't advertise. |
| 6:55
| Steve knows the Rolling Rock guy too. But apparently they think Steve Dahl listeners don't drink beer. They do though. |
| 6:56
| Just a quick thing before we get to the news, something Steve finds very interesting. Joe Francis says Eliot Spitzer's "Kristen" appeared in a lesbian video. Steve is taking Buzz's news but he's got news to spare. |
| 6:57
| Francis tells the New York Daily News that they have some really great footage of Ashley Duprè in a very good shower scene. He also tells them that she was a total GGW groupie. |
| 6:58
| Francis offered Duprè $1 million to appear in a non-nude spread in his new magazine. But then someone had a revelation to check their archives and they found her videos. |
| 6:59
| According to a Girls Gone Wild press release Duprè was in Miami in 2003 for her 18th birthday. After fighting with a friend and getting thrown out of her hotel Duprè found a nearby Girls Gone WIld bus. |
| 7:00
| She signed legal papers and spent a full week on the bus. She filmed 7 full-length tapes which include nudity and same-sex encounters. |
| 7:01
| Francis says he personally bought her a Greyhound bus ticket back to her home in North Carolina. If that were Steve he'd go ahead and spring for a plane ticket. |
| 7:02
| Joe Francis probably doesn't do that though. Maybe if he treated the girls just a little better he wouldn't get into so much trouble. Maybe he finds a 17-year-old girl but if he treated her a little better she wouldn't break bad on him. |
| 7:03
| News with Buzz |
| 7:04
| Today is the 5th anniversary of the invasion of Iraq. Turns out they didn't have WMDs but they did have some WD-40. They war has cost the country millions of dollars and thousands of lives. At least things seem under control though right? |
| 7:05
| John McCain was in Iraq yesterday when he mistakenly said that It's known that Iran is training Al Qaeda terrorists and sending them into Iraq. Luckily Joe Lieberman, who sounds like Alf's dad, was there to correct him. |
| 7:06
| McCain corrected himself and said that Iran is training extremists and sending them to Iraq. What's the difference? Are they not allowed to use Al Qaeda any more, is there some sort of copyright on it? |
| 7:07
| In a speech on race yesterday Barack Obama urged Americans to move past racial stereotypes and identified himself as a black man. Obama also tried to distance himself from pastor Jeremiah Wright, who was a bullfrog. |
| 7:08
| Reviews on the speech have been very good. Steve thought it was an interesting speech, even the part about how white people are mad. It might be too complicated for the masses though but Steve thought it was impressive. |
| 7:09
| If you go to the Girls Gone WIld website they've got video of Ashley Duprè. That might save Buzz some money although they don't have much of a video sample. |
| 7:10
| There's no audio either, it seems like they're missing the boat on that. She seems to be dressed like a Hooters girl although maybe that's just the Girls Gone Wild look. |
| 7:11
| Ashley rode the Girls Gone WIld bus long before she rode Governor Spitzer. You gotta like Joe Francis, even though he's a knucklehead. |
| 7:12
| How does Steve get on this bus? He talked to Joe Francis a few years go, he seemed like a nice guy. Steve would like to congratulate Joe on having the video of Ashley in his archives and having a good archivist. |
| 7:13
| For years Steve didn't have a good archivist but now he does. Right Pete? Pete? Is Pete's timing just completely gone now? Unless he's passed out in his studio. |
| 7:14
| Author Arthur C. Clarke, who wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey, died yesterday at the age of 90 in his adopted home of Sri Lanka. After the movie came out he entered the homes of Americans when he co-anchored the moon landing coverage with Walter Cronkite. |
| 7:15
| Steve remembers that. Arthur C. Clarke had breathing problems and there was a lot of heavy breathing in 2001. |
| 7:16
| Police do not believe that the man who robbed a casino in Vegas is the same man who shot and killed 5 people in a Lane Bryant store in Tinley Park. The man in Vegas is Hispanic and appears to be left handed while the Tinley Park suspect is believed to be right handed and African-American. |
| 7:17
| An Ohio woman is hoping that a fish stick shaped like a cross will help her family purchase a new van. She was cooking fish sticks when three of them fused together into a cross form. Wouldn't it only be two fish sticks that fused together? |
| 7:18
| The woman is hoping that the sale of the fish sticks on eBay will help her purchase a new van to transport her large family. How's the bidding on that Frosted Flake shaped like Illinois going? |
| 7:19
| Steve's looking at the eBay listing right now, there are 3 crosses made from 6 fish sticks. God doesn't do that, you just do that yourself in the pan. |
| 7:20
| Ebay took down the first auction because of the perceived high cost of shipping. They have to be shipped frozen so they were factoring in the cost of dry ice. |
| 7:21
| It's a complete set of fish stick crosses just in time for Holy Week. There were three crosses up there on the mount...Mount Olympus? It was Mount Calvary or something. There were two other guys up on crosses with Jesus, one of them was a cat burglar or something. And Jesus was showing off the rock hard abs to the very end. |
| 7:22
| It's not hard to find fish sticks stuck together but imagine her surprise when she poured out the contents of her box of Super Wal-Mart fish sticks and found 6 fish sticks stuck together as crosses. |
| 7:23
| She was feeding her hoard of rhythm method-spaced offspring. Steve thinks this is fake now. No one that dumb would make a joke about the rhythm method. |
| 7:24
| Buzz doesn't think it's fake. What does Steve mean when he says it's fake? Some woman in Ohio wouldn't make a joke about the rhythm method. Buzz wouldn't mind talking to the woman. |
| 7:31
| We've all decided that the fish sticks listing is a fake. But if Buzz wants to do more research on it he can. |
| 7:32
| Steve thinks that there are 6 fish sticks that are formed into crosses. He doesn't think they're being sold by some rube in Ohio though. It's just some kid playing a prank. If Buzz won the auction he would probably get sent 3 fish stick crosses. |
| 7:33
| Buzz doesn't see how Steve can say it's fake. If he wants to get this woman's number and call her he can. |
| 7:34
| Caller Mike was watching Fox & Friends this morning. Why isn't he listening to the show? Mike's radio doesn't really work in his house. But Fox & Friends?! |
| 7:35
| They were talking to one of the women who listed the Illinois corn flake and eBay took their listing down. They probably realized that no one would ever pay that much for a corn flake shaped like Illinois. |
| 7:36
| The woman also said she knew that she wasn't going to make $200,000 of this corn flake. Tomorrow he'll probably see the fish stick story and learn that it's a fake. |
| 7:37
| Mike loves the morning show though. He just needs to listen more in the mornings. Steve likes it too although he didn't like it as much when the alarm went off at 4 am today. |
| 7:38
| Caller Denise thinks the fish stick crosses are a ruse but the paragraph in the listing was definitely written by a girl. |
| 7:39
| Denise went to a Catholic school and this sounds like how a girl from a Catholic school would write. One of her friends was actually suspended for making fun of a religious icon. |
| 7:40
| Buzz wants to do more calls, maybe he should try to call this woman. Everyone's probably calling her now though. |
| 7:41
| Denise went to Resurrection High School. Was their football team called The Zombies? It was an all-girls school so they didn't have a team. Although they probably could have. |
| 7:42
| Caller Bob was hoping he'd be the first member of Steve's Wake-Up Brigade. Is that what Steve should start calling his show now? |
| 7:43
| Bob was thinking more about a calling-tree set-up where he'd wake people up in the morning and remind them to listen to the show. |
| 7:44
| Now that Steve's hearing this idea outloud it sounds stupid. DId Bob unfold this whole thing for Brendan when he was screening the call? |
| 7:45
| Is Bob just going to cold call people out of the White Pages or is this something that people sign up for. Either way it doesn't really make sense. Steve's going to give him a spin anyway because he has guts. |
| 7:52
| Is Pete just playing anything he wants from in there? That drop seemed over-the-top to Steve. He's very concerned about Pete, he feels that they're losing their connection. |
| 7:53
| Then he comes out with a drop of Lewis Black doing his night club routine. It's actually from his new Comedy Central show. Steve frowns on the use of the Comedy Central stuff, to the extent that Pete does. He's been avoiding it like the plague but he needs to avoid it more. |
| 7:54
| Steve doesn't watch Comedy Central, he doesn't want to see Jon Stewart doing the same stuff he already did but only funnier because he has a huge staff of writers. |
| 7:55
| Steve has stood by while Pete ignores him when he's standing in the kitchen. It happened just yesterday, Steve was saying goodbye to him and Pete totally ignored him. How can you not see Steve there, he's 300 pounds! |
| 7:56
| Pete feels that if Steve stood where he stands by the VCRs he'd realize how loud it was over there. |
| 7:57
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 7:58
| Steve has a website from Cleveland that has video of the fish stick deal. He can't get the video to play though. Pete could play it but it seems like Steve and Buzz need to see the woman for themselves. |
| 7:59
| Steve will read this article though but it seems like when this woman mentions her "rhythm method spaced" children she's mocking Catholicism. But Pete should get the video ready anyway. He'll have to turn off the Colbert Report though. |
| 8:00
| Victoria Landis believes she got a sign from above in honor of Holy Week. It started with a trip to the supermarket. She went to cook the fish sticks and when she poured them into the pan 6 fish sticks fused together into 3 crosses. |
| 8:01
| Landis didn't want to cook them so she put them in the freezer and then came up with the idea to sell them a few days ago. She's hoping that she'll be able to sell the fish sticks and use the money to purchase a van for her large mixed family. |
| 8:02
| The video is working for Pete so he can play it from his studio. Does it look real Pete? It sounded real, it seems like Buzz was right. They showed a close-up of an old Econoline van with a rusted tailpipe. Buzz heard some laughter in there, was that from the video? |
| 8:03
| It was actually Bob and Ron laughing. Why do their mics need to be on? Pete accidentally left his mic on so it was picking them up. You know Bob and Ron are probably going to get some fish sticks as soon as the show is over. |
| 8:04
| Time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. How fast did Buzz eat his Cheesy Beefy Melt yesterday? Steve also ate his fast, he dialed it up to Buzz Kilman lightning speed. |
| 8:05
| It's Sauce Packet Wednesday as well and today's sauce packet idea is "I got your sauce packet right here!" |
| 8:06
| Alright, time for the knuckleheads. After that Bob wants tacos. That's the whole point of it. Bob and Ron are still very confused, they woke up today and it was still dark out. |
| 8:07
| Bob's a little sleep deprived too, he just got a new puppy. You'd think a dogwalker wouldn't want another dog but that's how much Bob loves dogs. It needed to be rescued, the dog is from the same place Matt got his dog from. |
| 8:08
| That dog was at Steve's house for a week and he ended up liking it. And the dog likes him too. He did catch the dog humping the younger girl dog a few times. Steve's never had boy dogs before though. It's still an ugly dog though. |
| 8:09
| Now for some rock history. It's Barry Wilson's birthday this week, he's the amazing drummer from Procol Harem. Steve and Buzz were just thinking of how they'd celebrate his birthday. Buzz said P.J. Clarke's. |
| 8:10
| It's also the anniversary of John and Yoko's wedding, in Gibraltar near France. Just like the song! This week we celebrate the birthday of Johan Sebastian Bach and John Sebastian of Lovin' Spoonful. They've brought a Lovin' Spoonful song to play but Steve doesn't really want to hear it. |
| 8:11
| Steve would rather hear Ballad of John & Yoko. The Lovin' Spoonful song is under 2 minutes. That's not even enough time for Steve to get up and stretch his legs. Ballad of John & Yoko isn't much longer. He's looking at the Thin Lizzy song, it's 5 minutes long. |
| 8:12
| Zal Yanovsky was in The Lovin' Spoonful, he was a great guitar player but he ratted a whole bunch of people out. The whole country turned on him, the youth of America did not think that was cool. |
| 8:13
| Song: Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?, The Lovin' Spoonful |
| 8:15
| Buzz did some research during the song. According to Wikipedia Zal Yanovsky is dead, he died in 2002. Someone finally got to him? They're saying he died of congestive heart failure. Or at least that's how they made it look. |
| 8:16
| Steve also did some research during the song and the phone number of that fish stick woman in Ohio is unlisted. Maybe the Catholics do make fun of the rhythm method even if they use it. |
| 8:17
| She probably just wants to get the word out there that she's not using birth control in case the Pope is browsing eBay. He's always on there looking for new artifacts to spruce up the Vatican. |
| 8:22
| Live read: Joebees |
| 8:23
| Buzz is not on the bee pollen yet but maybe this weekend. Joe Bee can get him some. He can get him as much as he wants. He makes a ton of it. |
| 8:24
| Joe's going to launch a campaign to bring back the beehive haircut. Those girls in the B-52's had nice ones. |
| 8:25
| Has Joe shown Buzz his stinger lately. He swears this pollen is making it bigger although that's not one of the advertised effects. |
| 8:26
| Buzz needs to get on the bee pollen. His name is Buzz! That screams bee pollen. |
| 8:27
| Buzz doesn't even have to do anything, Joe will have his people send him some bee pollen. He'll call them people instead of thieves since all they do is take his stuff. |
| 8:28
| Joe has a website but his people deal with all that. He doesn't do webs, that's for spiders. He does honeycombs and pollen. |
| 8:29
| Joe Bee was really dealing with some deep things there. Steve thinks he got through it though. |
| 8:30
| It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Pat has a lot to talk about. The Bulls finally won last night. They didn't let a 24 point half-time lead diminish too much. But now they're acting like they're the champions of the world. |
| 8:31
| You probably have to act like that if you're an athlete though. Pat thinks it's just a good win because the team has been through a lot. |
| 8:32
| Been through a lot? Like being paid millions to play basketball, a sport that they're naturally good at? |
| 8:33
| Drew Gooden had a good game last night, he's the guy with the Amish beard who they got in the Ben Wallace trade. Getting rid of him was not a mistake. You couldn't even put him in at the end of the game because he was too much of a liability. |
| 8:34
| The Hawks are back in town tonight, it's Tony Esposito Night. The festivities start at 7 pm tonight and he gets an entire half hour to himself. |
| 8:35
| So far Steve hasn't found anyone to go to the game with tonight. Buzz can't make it because his wife is involved in a three-way or something. Steve's really bad with making plans though. He never makes them far enough in advance. |
| 8:36
| Buzz can't go, Bob Sirott can't go, Todd Cavanah can't go, Peter Bowen can't go. Buzz felt bad because he'd love to go to the game. However he does think that while Steve is footloose and fancy free the rest of us aren't. Steve is being blown hither and yon by the winds. |
| 8:37
| Janet can't go, she'll be en route to Czechoslovakia. Buzz is wondering if she's a spy all of the sudden? Steve has a problem with MIke and Mat too. |
| 8:38
| Matt went on vacation last week so he missed two games which Mike went to. Matt went to the game on Sunday but if he brings Matt again Mike will get mad. |
| 8:39
| Steve's thinking of just bringing Stephanie. He's not bringing Pete because he's mad at him. And Jim kid always has some cockamamie girlfriend excuse. Steve's not mad at Pete but he's not much of a talker. They went to a Sox game together and Pete didn't talk for the entire 3 hours. |
| 8:40
| Steve's fine with not talking but not for the entire time. He's not much of a talker either but Pete's silence caused him to have to talk more. |
| 8:41
| Pete's on the shortlist for tonight although he probably can't go anyway. Pete doesn't like to go out on a school night. Here's a guy who never goes out to dinner when Steve asks him on the Mexico and Hawaii trips. That's probably a total of 50 days of Steve asking him and Pete saying no. |
| 8:42
| Steve's giving Mike and Matt the tickets for Sunday because he won't be in town. The last time MIke was out at the house he asked Steve how they were going to do the Sox opening day lottery. Steve might want to take someone else though. He's been saying he wants to take Terry Armour's mom. |
| 8:43
| When you have season tickets you can buy extra tickets for certain games, like opening day. So Steve did that. They're not Scout Seats though which surprised Mike. They need to have some non-premium experiences, Steve's setting the bar too high for them. |
| 8:44
| Steve worked hard to get those tickets although he likes sharing them. But there was a time when Steve used to sit in the upper deck at Dodgers games. He did manage to finagle a press pass for an entire season though. |
| 8:45
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:46
| This live read mentions people who consolidated two loans and their credit card payments. What two loans? Does David put this stuff in there just to get Steve wondering? Then David gets to call in and explain. Is he really that smart? |
| 8:47
| David Hochberg is on the phone. Is he really that smart? David likes to make Steve think with these live reads. He should have put that they were two mortgages. David seems very disinterested right now. |
| 8:55
| Alright, back to sports with Pat Boyle. The Hawks are playing tonight, they're a few points out of the playoffs still.They need to win and have a lot of other teams lose. |
| 8:56
| Dale Tallon came down and talked to the team which probably doesn't happen too often. Steve really likes Dale. Pat thinks that a lot of people forget about Dale's roll in turning the team around. |
| 8:57
| The Cubs pitchers basically Punk'd their strength and conditioning coach, Tim Buss. They pointed out a totally wrecked car which the coach realized was his. He had no idea what he was going to tell his wife, it was hers. |
| 8:58
| Buss knew the players had something to do with it but they were all just expressing disbelief that it had happened. After the workout Buss was telling reporters what happened. |
| 8:59
| Ryan Dempster came by and told him to stop whining and come with him. Then they presented him with a brand new Nissan XTerra. But they had just wrecked a perfectly good 1995 Nissan Sentra. |
| 9:00
| It was his wife's car too. Do they only have one car if he's driving her car? This isn't a very good prank. |
| 9:01
| It seems like the pitchers just have too much money on their hands. They wrecked a perfectly good car. What they should have done was tracked down a Nissan Sentra that looks like his car and then wrecked that. |
| 9:02
| Wrecking his old car sort of takes away from buying him a new car doesn't it? |
| 9:03
| Steve has some notes here, he sees that John Madden and Charles Barkley are suing Frank Caliendo and Dish Network for those commercials. They're not going to win that. |
| 9:04
| Caliendo never says he's Madden or Barkley in the ads so it's not misleading. It has to just be Madden, he's never been a fan of the impersonation. It's surprising that Barkley is involved, it seems like he has a better sense of humor about it. |
| 9:05
| The commercials are a little more misleading on the radio though. They might get a cease-and-desist order and make them change the commercials or something. |
| 9:06
| The Harry Caray ads actually identify the guy as Harry Caray although it's clear that it's not him. They must have paid Dutchie Caray or something. They're using his name and filming the ads from the Wrigley press box. |
| 9:07
| This just in, David Hochberg wanted to let Steve know that he's not disinterested he's just tired. He was up all night with his wife last night, she thought she was having the baby. |
| 9:08
| David seems like one of those guys who's going to take off two weeks after his wife has the baby. |
| 9:09
| Pat actually has a Charles Barkley story. When he was working in Philadelphia for Comcast his co-worker was a friend of Barkley's from his days on the 76ers. |
| 9:10
| Every time Barkley came into town they went out so Pat got invited along. He brought his wife Shannon but at the time they were dating. It seems like a mistake to bring any woman out to dinner with any athlete. |
| 9:11
| So they're sitting in a booth and Shannon's on the inside with Pat on the outside. That's also a mistake. Charles was sitting in a chair outside the booth but he could smell blood in the water. He knew it was early in the relationship and that she was attainable. |
| 9:12
| Barkley was clearly hitting on her and everyone acknowledged it. Pat had to use the bathroom but he really didn't want to get up. Eventually he did though and when he came back Charles was in his seat. This is back in his heyday when you were hearing stories about guys going through plate glass windows. |
| 9:13
| Pat didn't want to say anything though. He didn't want to be the next guy through the window. Pat's tall, like a spear. He seems like he'd be very aerodynamic. |
| 9:14
| Everyone was still joking about it, as much as you can joke about a guy wanting to nail your girlfriend. Eventually Pat asked her if she wanted to leave and she did. They were in separate cars and they were driving back to Pat's place to play cards. Pat! |
| 9:15
| So Pat's on the Walt Whitman Bridge. Is that the bridge less taken? If Steve worked in Philly he'd do that joke everyday. Shannon gets a call from a friend at the restaurant who had set them up. She clicked over and when she came back she told him it was actually Charles calling her. |
| 9:16
| Shannon did show up at Pat's house, that night. And now they're married. Pat knows that bringing her out with Charles Barkley was a mistake right? |
| 9:17
| Most of the radio ads with Frank Caliendo feature Madden and Barkley. They might have a disclaimer about celebrity voices. It seems like AT & T responded with the Harry Caray ads since they're selling their own cable service. It's more of a local angle. Steve says bring it on, buy more spots! |
| 9:18
| As an armchair intellectual property lawyer Steve will have to say that Madden and Barkley probably don't have much of a lawsuit. The TV commercials are not misleading. It's obvious that it's not really Madden or Barkley, Frank looks nothing like them. |
| 9:19
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 9:20
| Buzz is wondering what the difference is between 1080i and 1080p. Buzz wants 1080p, it's a higher resolution. 1080i uses the scan rate of your eyes to trick you. |
| 9:21
| Steve's getting a 1080p as soon as they make one in the model he has. God help him if it's not the same size because the TV is built into a cabinet. |
| 9:28
| Steve would like to share with Buzz a quick glimpse into his life. Buzz won't like it either. He'll be glad he has his life. |
| 9:29
| Steve went to check the Meat Talk mail and he got an email from Andrew, who tells Steve his Walt Whitman Bridge joke doesn't work. Robert Frost wrote the poem The Road Not Taken. |
| 9:30
| Why does he have to bring Steve down like that? Buzz doesn't think it matters if he was right or wrong, it matters if he was funny. What kind of guy emails another guy about a poem?! |
| 9:31
| Chef Hans is here for Meat Talk. He has his own agenda of course, why does Steve always forget that? Hans has some News You Can Use that you don't know yet. |
| 9:32
| First of all kudos to Charlie Trotter, he'll be receiving an award from the King of Sweden. The Nobel Peace Prize? Is Charlie Swedish? The King probably just wants a free meal when he's in town. |
| 9:33
| Last Wednesday Hans had a famous chef in town from London. They were at the Hawks game and they were looking for Steve in his seat but he wasn't there when they came by. |
| 9:34
| Steve has been told that Hans isn't happy about that and that he can't let it go. They came down during the 1st of 2nd intermission, Hans can't remember. |
| 9:35
| He doesn't remember? It sounds like Hans and his friend were doing a little drinking and maybe they were on the other end of the stadium. Hans' friend doesn't drink much but that still leaves Hans as a wild card. |
| 9:36
| Steve knows that either he or Mike would have been there. Mike cut a promo for Comcast about the rerun of that game last night. He wanted to make sure it ran so they were alternating when they got up from their seats. |
| 9:37
| Last Thursday Charlie Trotter hosted Hans and his friend, they had a 14 course meal. By "friend" Hans doesn't mean he was having his period right? |
| 9:38
| It was the best meal Hans has ever had, it was like Escoffier 2 times over. Great, that means Steve can quit that thing and just have dinner at Trotter's. Because that society is a sausage fest. |
| 9:39
| As they were leaving Charlie Trotter announced to the restaurant that the icons of Chicago and the world were leaving his restaurant. It brought tears to both of their eyes. |
| 9:40
| And then that led them right into St. Patrick's day weekend. That's one email Steve got, about Hans' preparation of corned beef and specifically cabbage. |
| 9:41
| Hans prepares the cabbage separately from the meat. Otherwise the cabbage gets all soggy. |
| 9:42
| On Saturday Ed and his two friends, the girls who show up at every remote were at Smith & Wollensky. Those girls are at every remote with Ed, they're married and they're probably driving him nuts. |
| 9:43
| Ed says they were two different girls. So maybe these are girls he's hiding or something. |
| 9:44
| Buzz remembers Hans hooking him up with two women who ended up being lesbians. He was playing at the Back Porch Stage and two women came up to Hans and told him they wanted to meet Buzz. |
| 9:45
| Once Buzz realized they were lesbians he tried to slink away. 60 seconds into the conversation Buzz looked over and found Hans giggling at the bar. |
| 9:46
| What's wrong with Ed? He's traveling in pairs with married women? They're just friends he says! |
| 9:47
| Hans is right in the middle of a busy time at the restaurant though. Last weekend was the Housewares convention and this weekend is a computer convention. He'll probably see Ed in the restaurant again. This time he'll be with three women! |
| 9:48
| Hans will be at the game tonight so Steve will make sure to be at his seat for the intermission. Just so Hans knows Steve usually leaves his seat around the 7 minute mark of the intermission to use the bathroom. |
| 9:49
| Hans is very excited to see Nicklas Backstrom of the Capitals. Everyone is saying he's the next Wayne Gretzky. |
| 9:50
| The Caps haven't playing in Chicago in several years because of NHL scheduling, which Hans doesn't think is right. Maybe next time Gary Bettman's in the restaurant he should talk to him about it. |
| 9:51
| Hans doesn't know how he could persuade Bettman if John McDonough couldn't. He does have the restaurant full of steaks and wine, that can be very persuasive. |
| 9:57
| Alright Buzz, anything we need to know before we head out of here today? There's nothing late-breaking. They've got the Rezko trial going on and that one guy, Stuart Levine, is singing like a canary. |
| 9:58
| They had a list of the drugs that Levine claims he's taken over the last 40 years. They include LSD, marijuana, cocaine, Quaaludes, crystal meth and Special K. |
| 9:59
| There's a whole other part of this story Steve wants to know and that's who he took drugs with. You don't experiment with drugs alone. |
