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| 5:30
| Good morning, it's 5:30 on a thrilling, throbbing Tuesday in the city of wind. We do have some gusting out there so drivers be careful. On the way in the guy on WBBM-AM told truckers to drive with 2 hands. |
| 5:31
| This was the same guy who told drivers that they shouldn't kid themselves, the roads are bad. If Steve was a trucker he'd go one-handed at that moment and use the other hand to flip off his radio. |
| 5:32
| The guy's a traffic reporter! He's not even good enough to have his own show. Buzz might recall a few summers ago when they were on in the afternoon they were preceeded by a program run by one Mr. Pete McMurray, a legend in Rockford. His broadcast partner was Maura Myles, not her real name. A lot of people go with the fake Irish name in Chicago thinking it'll give them a leg up. Like Fahey Flynn or Joel Daly. |
| 5:33
| Steve used to to do crosstalk with Pete and Maura and he remembers Maura always irritating him. For some reason he had to pull rank on her and say he'd been doing radio in Chicago for 30 years. |
| 5:34
| Maura had said that she had been a traffic reporter here for 19 years. Steve said that didn't count and she got mad at that. |
| 5:35
| Those traffic reporters are quite full of themselves. You're telling truckers how to drive? Even Steve was offended by that and he's not a trucker. Steve went one handed at that moment. Buzz always gets ordered around in the car. |
| 5:36
| Steve normally drives two handed although sometimes he grabs on to the handle that's in between the seats. Buzz likes to drive with one hand on the gear shift, even though he has an automatic. |
| 5:37
| Buzz can still shift through the gears but it's not the same as if you have a manual. When Buzz ordered the car he told them to load it up with everything available. That included two buttons on the steering wheel for shifting. You don't do much of that on Lake Shore Drive though. |
| 5:38
| Buzz remembers a huge ad campaign for that feature on his car though. Turns out the best part of gear shifting is hitting the clutch. |
| 5:39
| There were a lot of aggressive drivers on the road today. People might be getting tired of the weather. |
| 5:40
| Steve's wondering who is ordering Buzz around while he's driving. It's Piper, sometimes she wants to hear B96. But it's usually too early for Buzz to hear hip-hop. If Steve is Eddie or Jobo and he hears this he blows his brains out. 6-year-olds want to listen to them?! And it makes it harder to take Todd Cavanah seriously when you know he's programming for 6-year-olds. |
| 5:41
| If Buzz says no to B96 then Piper has a bunch of CDs she wants to listen to. He needs to get a car where Piper has her own entertainment center in the backseat. |
| 5:42
| Steve never let the boys choose what to listen to in the car. And even now he's always turning their music down. It's always too loud and annoying. But if he's in their car, they pick the music, as it should be. |
| 5:43
| B96 is really programming for 6-year-olds though but down on their floor they act like they invented the wheel. Todd's always coming in saying he has no research on the B96 audience. Did he get it from Chuck E. Cheese? |
| 5:44
| Yesterday on Steve's floor he saw Debra Dale of WBBM-AM. He wanted to call out her full title "Debra Dale, Suburban Bureau Chief" but he forgot how she refers to herself. Steve gets excited to see the WBBM-AM people because he listens to that station a lot. And they're excited to see him. |
| 5:45
| She has a nice ass too but Steve didn't want to say that. Next thing he knows he's hauled into Rod Zimmerman's office. You can't say that stuff to news people, they know their rights. |
| 5:46
| Over the weekend Drew Hayes, former program director of WCKG (which we ran into the ground, was in L.A. He wanted to have lunch with Steve and he said he was going to call him. Drew made sure Steve would answer his phone if he called and he said he would. |
| 5:47
| But Drew never called him. Steve didn't go to L.A. but Drew didn't know that. Maybe he got word that Steve wasn't going but he's not sure how that would happen. |
| 5:48
| Steve told Drew he'd recommend some good places for him to eat. Drew always liked to come in and talk L.A. with him but there are still some places he doesn't know about. Like Tommy's Burgers on Rampart. They have a chili burger that'll blow the top of your head off. |
| 5:49
| So Drew never called Steve which hurt his feelings. Steve hopes Drew's alright. He hasn't heard about any plane crashes or train derailments. Maybe Drew drove out there? That seems like a bad idea. |
| 5:50
| That commercial that Steve really hates is on CLTV again. This woman is standing in the kitchen so obviously she's in food service. At some point her shrimpy husband starts making stupid faces at the camera. |
| 5:51
| If you didn't report $20,000 in income you're not an honest person, no matter what you say in this commercial. It makes Steve so mad that these people didn't have to pay their taxes. |
| 5:52
| Back in the day if you didn't pay your taxes you went to jail, just as Al Capone. These people should be put in jail and die of syphilis. |
| 5:53
| Steve ran into some tax trouble but it wasn't his fault. His accountant worked for one of the Big 8 accounting firms that has since gone out of business. Once the accountant told Steve he was small-time to him. |
| 5:54
| This was around the time where Steve was trying to syndicate the show and the accountant was told that could be more earnings for him. There was a woman who came to Steve's office to pay his bills, this was before there were computers. |
| 5:55
| Steve was an independent contractor so he had to send quarterly withholdings to the IRS. Turns out the guy at the IRS who was handling his money was a fan. So he took those checks and kept them in his desk. |
| 5:56
| Then he left the IRS to take a job at Hegewisch Records. But his accountant never reconciled the issue. Next thing he knows there's a sticker on his front door. The guy who took over at the IRS for this fan found the checks and went nuts. |
| 5:57
| He called Steve at 8 am on a Friday, after he'd been up late the night before, and read off the litany of things he was going to do to him. Luckily Steve had 4 gigs at the Park West that weekend so he was able to pay off the money he owed plus penalties and interest. |
| 5:58
| The beauty of the IRS system is that it doesn't matter what anyone else did, it's always the taxpayers fault. Steve felt better when his accountant's firm went under, he saw the guy walking out of the Sears Tower with his box of possessions. |
| 6:04
| Time for the web poll. Yesterday's web poll was "do you go to the farmer's market?" 59% of the people said no. Buzz thinks they don't know what they're missing. |
| 6:05
| Steve only goes to one because there's one in front of the Prudential Building. There's also an old school fruit market in his town but it's really expensive. |
| 6:06
| The guys who work there walk around with pencils behind their ears. As you're picking stuff out they're writing the price on the bag. Steve thinks the bags all start with $20 written on them because something like asparagus and fruit salad costs $40. |
| 6:07
| Steve's not sure he told that story right. But the bakery guy in his town loves that story. Everything seems very quaint and you think it's also going to be very cheap but it's not. All the food is very good though and a lot of the stuff they have there is not in season. |
| 6:08
| They always have Brussels sprouts, that's all Steve knows. He could eat those everyday and he probably should. Buzz will never eat one. |
| 6:09
| Today's web poll is "is it OK for a man to have long hair?" To some Jim Halpert of The Office is a hero. He's a cynic who loathes his job, uses pranks to cope with his colleagues and from workplace woes. |
| 6:10
| Some professionals might not be able to get away with his attitude they are imitating his haircut. There are a lot of guys comfortable with longer, layered hair according to Rachel Zalutsky, a stylist at Guise in Lincoln Park. That's a play on words. |
| 6:11
| Buzz doesn't get the play on words. It's for guys but what is guise? A guise is an external form, appearance or manner of presentation. Typically a guise conceals the true nature of something. That's the part Buzz doesn't like. |
| 6:12
| Steve has a bigger problem with the stylists name, Zalutsky. Lakeview-dwelling hipster Matt Baron has the Jim Halpert cut. He's an account exec for a transportation management company but also plays in an indie-rock band. |
| 6:13
| He wanted a haircut that could pass at his day job without looking like a square old man. That's what the mullet was invented for right? The Jim Halpert cut is the new mullet. |
| 6:14
| James Matthews, a project manager for Firebelly Design Inc., an environmentally conscious graphic design firm, gets his Jim Halpert cut at Urban Lift in Wrigleyville. Steve is so sick of people being "green" or whatever. And he's sick of hearing people wanting "green collar jobs" |
| 6:15
| What does Urban Lift mean, is that a play on words? Because Steve doesn't get that one? Sometimes they say when you get your haircut that you got your ears lowered. Is that it? It's Wrigleyville, they're very high concept there. |
| 6:16
| So apparently the Jim Halpert cut is long hair? Buzz thought Steve was going to be talking about longer hair than that, like Bob or Bob and Ron. He has really long hair. |
| 6:17
| Steve likes The Office but can we stop patterning everything after it? It seems like every TV commercial is shot like the office, in some poorly-lit cubicle. |
| 6:18
| Buzz remembers Office Space, which was probably the basis for the British version of The Office. For some reason Steve can't remember the name of the guy who created The Office. |
| 6:19
| Office Space was the movie that made Buzz realize Gary Cole was a comedic genius. Steve likes it too but he doesn't like that stapler guy. What was his name? |
| 6:20
| Steve calls down to the newsroom, Jim will know. Pete probably knows but he seems mad at Steve. Jim says the guy's name is Milton, he was the main character on the original Mike Judge Office Space cartoons for SNL. He was always talking about burning down the building. Steve doesn't care. |
| 6:21
| But they probably had to have the Milton character in the movie. That makes sense since he seems very cartoonish. He's played by that Stephen Root guy was was on Newsradio. He's also really irritating in those AT & T commercials. |
| 6:22
| If there's anyone around here who's close to that Milton guy it's Pete. Does he have any plans to burn the building down? Steve saw Pete today, coming out of the stairwell where he might actually live. |
| 6:23
| Pete said hello, Steve asked "how's it going?" and Pete didn't say anything. Just silence. Actually Steve said "what's going on?" which is the kind of question that people usually answer. |
| 6:24
| Can't Pete at least tell Steve about some good audio he has or something? Whenever Steve asks someone around here a question like that they usually say "nothing much" which doesn't seem good. |
| 6:31
| Alright Buzz, we're getting ready for the news. Steve was just going through his Steve@dahl.com just to see if there's anything we're missing, something to improve upon or something they can steal. |
| 6:32
| Steve got this email from a guy who sends a lot of emails, he's in the window cleaning industry out in Carpentersville. |
| 6:33
| The guy didn't want to be a P.I.T.A., whatever that is, but he thought that on the web poll the "yes" option should be green and the "no" option should be red. But then Steve went to Dahl.com and yes was green and no was red. |
| 6:34
| What is Steve supposed to do with that? Should he respond to the guy and say that yes is green and no is red? |
| 6:35
| Sometimes this guy does follow up one of his emails with a "never mind". You don't like to think of your window cleaners going off half-cocked like that |
| 6:36
| Does Buzz want to do some news? Or should Steve open the Mailbag? He did have a negative email exchange that he saved from last week but he's not sure he wants to read it now. Would Buzz like to hear it? |
| 6:37
| This was based on Steve's article last week in the Tribune about all the frequent flyer miles he has. Steve mentioned right in the article that he donated 300,000 miles to families or U.S. soldiers. For instance if your relative gets injured and he's in some military hospital in Europe and you can't afford the plane fare to visit him or her, people donate airline miles. |
| 6:38
| Steve got a lot of response from that article though. One woman wrote "how dare you!" even though Steve mentioned in the article that he donated some miles. Is he supposed to donate all of them? |
| 6:39
| Steve did have a factual error in the article that was corrected. |
| 6:40
| OK so these emails were sent to the Tribune which were then forwarded to Steve. The emailer thanks the Tribune for Steve's article, where he's complaining about his credit cards are giving him too many miles, as the economy is tanking. |
| 6:41
| The emailer wants to know how readers are supposed to relate or sympathize with that. So Steve wrote back "I'm pretty sure the paper is covering all that but I'll try to get them to stop covering sports too." |
| 6:42
| You'd think that would shut the guy down but these people are pathological. The guy responds "did you write about sports? No, you wrote about how you use all 10 of your credit cards to get miles. One of the reasons this economic crisis is happening is because of the credit crunch." |
| 6:43
| Steve always pays his credit card bills on time, he has no leftover balance. But this guy is blaming him for the credit crunch?! The emailer then says that he can't wait for Steve's never article about how he doesn't mind paying $4 for gas or how everyone should drive Porsche Cayenne Turbos. |
| 6:44
| So obviously this guy is a disgruntled listener. So Steve writes back "You know a lot about me for someone who hates me." Then this is what all these guys do, they say they don't dislike you and they don't know much about you. |
| 6:45
| The guy knows what kind of car Steve drives! The only way you get that info is listening to the show! And it's not something Steve says everyday either. The guy said he just remembered Steve calling out Jeff for having a Porsche and getting the extra "turbo" lettering on there even though he didn't have a turbo. |
| 6:46
| Steve wasn't complaining about his miles, he just has a lot of them. He's writing about a vice which is collecting airline miles. |
| 6:47
| The emailer thinks that Steve doesn't relate to the normal people because of his $90,000 and his Scout Seats. Steve did get a farm vehicle write-off on the car. And how does this guy know about his Scout Seats? |
| 6:48
| How does this guy think Steve got the Scout Seats? It was by relating to normal people. But the guy keeps going, suggesting that maybe Steve could write a column about how hard it is to be rich and they could put it in the Red Eye where all their twentysomething idiot readers can enjoy it. Meanwhile Steve should leave the real newspaper so the intelligent 30-year-olds. |
| 6:49
| At that point Steve had to stop the guy so he wrote back "OK hot dog" You can't really respond to that. |
| 6:52
| Caller Lisa is in Crystal Lake. Steve thinks we have a lot of listeners in Crystal Lake. We're very big with all the Lake towns. |
| 6:53
| Lisa wanted to let Steve know what P.I.T.A. meant, that emailer who wrote in about the colors of the web poll said he didn't want to be a P.I.T.A. It stands for "pain in the ass" |
| 6:54
| Pita reminds Steve about the going-away party we had for Tina few weeks ago. Although Steve questions that since she quit. You're not supposed to have going-away parties for people who quit. Although you can't have them for people who are fired either. Maybe you just shouldn't have going-away parties. |
| 6:55
| Tina's still working in the building anyway, did we change the locks on the office yet? Tina's probably still coming into the office and taking stuff. Maybe she's the one taking all of Steve's archived tapes. |
| 6:56
| She could be stealing one of the 500 bottles of apple juice that's up there. Mary was fancying this apple juice that comes in a bottle shaped like an apple. She wanted some, she ordered 500 bottles. Would Buzz like one perhaps? They're good if properly chilled. |
| 6:57
| So on Tina's last day we ordered Greek and Polish food because Tina is Greek and Polish. The Parthenon sent over gyros, they were the best Steve has ever had. He might go over there today for lunch. What's the parking situation like over there? Buzz says there is valet, even during the day. Does he want to come with? |
| 6:58
| That's the kind of thing where you could only eat one helping. Steve's was really good even though Stephanie put too many onions on it. |
| 6:59
| Steve went to Whole Foods yesterday because he's alone for 10 days. He thought he liked natural peanut butter but it turns out he doesn't. The natural peanut butter doesn't have salt in it and you have to mix it together because the oil tends to pool up. |
| 7:00
| Steve might just like the regular Skippy chunky peanut butter. Lisa recommends the Smucker's natural peanut butter, it has salt but you do have to mix it up. |
| 7:01
| Whenever Steve goes to Whole Foods he always finds himself going Mediterranean, he's getting pita chips and tabouli and other Mediterranean food. |
| 7:02
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:03
| By the way, yesterday when Steve was talking about those kids from LaGrange who blew up some dynamite in a Florida hotel room, he said the kids had a quarter stick. |
| 7:04
| Steve thought the quarter stick was double the power of an M80 but it's actually 10 times the power. |
| 7:05
| News with Buzz |
| 7:06
| New York governor David Patterson is now admitting to drug use. Why do we have to know all this? He probably just wants to get out in front of it. Patterson admitted to cocaine use which you had to figure if he was having that much sex. |
| 7:07
| Patterson said he used the drugs when he was in his 20s and only tried cocaine a few times. Steve doesn't care if he did it last week. |
| 7:08
| The guy didn't even make it through his first day in office before he was admitting to extramarital affairs. Buzz has noticed that the new generation of politicians are so willing to admit to drug use. |
| 7:09
| It's not really an issue any more is it? So many people have tried it that it doesn't matter. It must have become apparent, even to the arch-Conservatives, that you can't pick on that point any more. |
| 7:10
| As long as you're not still doing drugs does it really matter? People are so wiling to forgive people who are in AA or NA, so you're forgiven if you tried drugs a few times. |
| 7:11
| Hillary Clinton recalled her perilous trip to Bosnia as the First Lady. She remembers landing in a helicopter under sniper fire and running to a vehicle. Turns out that was faulty memory as CBS unearthed the actual footage of Clinton disembarking in Bosnia. |
| 7:12
| After she got off the helicopter she was greeted by a schoolgirl with flowers, no snipers in sight. Is she telling that story just to show she's bad-ass and was in a war zone? Doesn't she know they videotape everything these days? Maybe she thought the little girl was a sniper and she had exploding flowers. |
| 7:13
| Steve is drinking some apple grape juice from the office, how good is this stuff? Buzz is going to love it. |
| 7:14
| The Iraqi defector whose fabricated stories about WMDs in Iraq that led to the war in Iraq says he's not to blame. He says he never said Iraq possessed WMDs. |
| 7:15
| Detroit's mayor and his chief of staff surrendered to police officers yesterday. They're being charged with perjury. The prosecutor in the case believes she can get a conviction. |
| 7:16
| Kwame Kilpatrick and his chief of staff went with the Skytel text messages and apparently they keep records of all of those. |
| 7:17
| A lot of people have issues with Kilpatrick because he sort of runs Detroit like he's Snoop Dogg. He's got a posse that goes everywhere with him. He's the gangsta mayor. But people keep voting for him and if he has a jury of his peers he'll probably get off. |
| 7:18
| Friends of the 6 protestors arrested at Holy Name on Sunday are trying to raise money for their defense. And now Buzz has noticed they're being referred to as The Holy Name 6 instead of Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War. |
| 7:19
| Supporter Kathy Kelly believes the protestors brought attention to an issue that some people have forgotten about. This isn't the kind of attention you want is it? Even people against the war don't like what these people did. And if you're in favor of the war these people won't convince you otherwise. |
| 7:20
| A Pomeranian puppy stolen from a suburban pet store has been returned. Police believe it was returned by a good samaritan. So did the person steal the dog to sell it or did they just want a small dog? |
| 7:21
| If you want a dog you can just get one for free at the humane society. There is an interview process but how hard can that be? Matt Dahl got through and got his dog. |
| 7:22
| The man sometimes referred to as "the fifth Beatle" is dead. How many people have been referred to as the fifth Beatle? There's Pete Best, George Martin, Louie Rodriguez. Who? Louie is Buzz's guitar player but he's actually referred to as the sixth Beatle on stage by Buzz. Is this shout-out going to be in lieu of Buzz paying him for their next gig? |
| 7:23
| Neil Aspinall is the fifth Beatle in this story. Aspinall was a longtime pal of The Beatles, worked as their road manager and spent nearly 40 years running Apple Records. |
| 7:24
| Pamela Anderson's short marriage to Rick Solomon is over. But it lasted long enough for them to make a sex tape. If Steve's Rick Solomon he doesn't put those tapes out. Rick doesn't look good in those tapes. How disinterested did Paris Hilton look? |
| 7:25
| Plus you've got Tommy Lee who made the best sex tape ever with Pam Anderson. There were multiple scenes, great comedic interludes, it had everything. |
| 7:26
| Caller Bob has a news add on. Buzz mentioned the New York governor admitting to cocaine use. How do you find the lines if you're blind? Steve's wondering if there's some sort of straw that makes a beeping sound when you're close. |
| 7:27
| Stuart Sutcliffe was also known as a fifth Beatle. Apple Records sold 70 million Beatles records while Aspinall ran it. That should bump you up to at least third Beatle status. |
| 7:33
| That's Pam and Tommy in their sex tape. The man is a genius. What a delightful exchange the pot cookbook stuff was. Steve feels Tommy Lee might have storyboarded that entire video. He had a vision and he also had the equipment. |
| 7:34
| Live read: Chicago White Sox |
| 7:35
| Caller Mike wanted to let Steve know that he might be getting more of a party than he thought today going to Greektown. It's Greek Independence Day so it'll probably be pretty crowded. |
| 7:36
| Steve wouldn't mind that, are there girls? Are they drunk? They're probably not drunk yet but they will be. Steve has the whole day to wait them out. |
| 7:37
| What about belly dancers, they have those down there right? Mike says The Parthenon doesn't have them but Buzz has seen them at Greek Islands. |
| 7:38
| Mike is Greek but he won't be heading to Greektown. He can't recommend The Parthenon enough though. |
| 7:39
| Belly dancers, Steve didn't even think of that. Shakira's part belly dance isn't she? For some reason Steve has a Shakira video on his iPhone. |
| 7:40
| The last time Steve was on a flight he watched that video for the entire 3 hours. |
| 7:41
| That's the song with Wyclef Jean, you have to think he was the beneficiary of something good. She probably requested him for the song so that's a good thing for him. |
| 7:42
| Buzz has learned that in addition to being hot Shakira is also really smart. She's getting degrees at UCLA, she's donating money to Chilean relief efforts. Steve didn't know that he and Shakira had the UCLA thing in common. Maybe they'll run into each other at an alumni function. |
| 7:43
| Does Shakira ever come to town? Buzz will be attending the next Shakira concert in Chicago. He has all sorts alerts out for Shakira. The 6-year-old loves her and that's Buzz's excuse for going to see her. Does Buzz really want to drag the 6-year-old in? It's really going to limit his options. Not Steve's options though. |
| 7:44
| Shakira maintains an interest in history. Steve is also a history buff. He watches a lot of History Channel. |
| 7:51
| Steve was caught unawares as the break was ending. He was looking for a Shakira song to play and he got distracted watching the video. |
| 7:52
| Caller Mike wants to recommend the video for Shakira's Underneath Your Clothes. |
| 7:53
| Steve's going to check that song out just to make sure it's OK for the kids. Shakira has never disappointed him though. |
| 7:54
| Steve is not going to the Shakira show with Buzz though, he's bringing Piper. That's not going to help his cause at all. |
| 7:55
| Mike thought that maybe Steve and Buzz could go as a gay couple with their daughter. They could just tell Shakira they want dancing lessons or something. |
| 7:56
| Mike is looking forward to seeing Steve at the Sox games, he's 4 rows behind him. Mike thinks Steve is a great fan, he never gets up while the game is going on. Not drinking any more, Steve doesn't have to get up to use the bathroom as much. |
| 7:57
| Mike is looking forward to the season even though there are a lot of what ifs. There were what ifs in 2005 though. Steve's just glad the Sox seem to have a better attitude than they have the last two years. They seem hungry. |
| 7:58
| Mike is looking forward to seeing Nick Swisher play. He's heard that Swisher is an Aaron Rowand-type player but better. |
| 7:59
| The White Sox don't play here for 2 weeks but the Cubs start on Monday right? Brendan doesn't know who they're playing though. Mr. Cubs fan doesn't know? Brendan thought it was the Brewers. Pete confirms, the Cubs fans stick together. |
| 8:00
| Although look at Steve and Mike, they're Sox fans sticking together. And they're also fellow Shakira fans. |
| 8:01
| So is Buzz really keeping tabs on when Shakira is playing here or does he just think he is? Is it going to be one of those situations where she does a show here and he only finds out afterwards? Because Steve can put his people on this. |
| 8:02
| Or will Buzz not want to take Piper because the tickets are too expensive? Because that's what happened with Hannah Montana. Buzz didn't want Piper involved in the Hannah Montana insanity. But he's OK with Shakira's Oral Fixation tour? |
| 8:03
| It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Today Steve and Buzz are enjoying Cheesy Beefy Melts. |
| 8:04
| Song: Hips Don't Lie, Shakira (feat. Wyclef Jean) |
| 8:07
| Pete had that song cranked in his studio. Steve didn't see him dancing, he was just sitting at his desk. There could have been something going on under the counter. |
| 8:08
| Steve would go to the Shakira show with Pete, that would probably increase his own odds. He's not going with Buzz, bringing the 6-year-old puts them in an entirely different place. |
| 8:09
| You get some beers in Pete and he'll start feeling Shakira up. Then she turns to Steve to be consoled. Where does someone find a Shakira? Someone, somewhere had to go back to his boss and say "guess what I found!" |
| 8:10
| Buzz thinks it started in Lebanon since she's Lebanese. So now Steve has to decide if he should go to Lebanon for vacation, or Columbia. Or should he split the trip up and do both? |
| 8:11
| If you go to Columbia you can do cocaine. They'd probably consider it rude if you didn't do cocaine. It's like going to the Dominican Republic and not participating in some cockfighting. |
| 8:12
| Steve was thinking he'd head to Bogota for a week just to find himself. You'd never see him again. "What happened to Steve?" "he joined a cartel!" |
| 8:13
| Caller Gus wanted to let Steve know that Shakira is Lebanese but that's already been established. Steve appreciates the effort though. |
| 8:14
| Gus feels that the right mix is half Lebanese, half Spanish, raised in Columbia. Steve didn't know she was half Spanish, that is something Gus added. It'll be much easier to hit Spain and Lebanon in one trip. |
| 8:15
| Gus is Greek and he is celebrating Greek Independence day. What did they become independent from? In 1821 they became independent from the Ottoman Empire, inventors of the Ottoman. |
| 8:16
| Gus is not heading to Greektown today, he has to work. The festivities aren't until this weekend though, that's when the parade down Halsted is. |
| 8:17
| That St. Patrick's day parade down Columbus Avenue needs to change. |
| 8:18
| Caller Dwight's friend is a huge Shakira fan. He has two little know facts about Shakira. One, when she was a teenager she had black hair, so she had that bad girl look. |
| 8:19
| She also plays guitar which Dwight finds very hot. She plays harmonica too which takes points off in Steve's book. Buzz is wondering if Dwight has seen her duet with Steven Tyler? |
| 8:20
| Steven Tyler?! Steve doesn't want to see that either. Steven Tyler can't believe he's there with her, he's practically pulling his hair out. |
| 8:21
| Steve has one more Shakira call but also some Shakira info. From age 10-13 Shakira was invited to various events in Barranquilla and gained recognition in the area. |
| 8:22
| So she's actually from Barranquilla, Columbia, not Spain. Brendan needs to call that Gus guy and get $50 back from his gift certificate. |
| 8:23
| Brendan can stop with the Shakira calls, Steve's just getting confused now. He doesn't really care where Shakira is from. |
| 8:24
| Yesterday on Matt Dahl's podcast he mentioned that Steve toasted him at dinner on Saturday. Steve doesn't remember toasting him, he just said he was proud of him for taking a non-radio job in the meantime. That's not really a Toastmasters toast is it? |
| 8:25
| Matt also asked Brendan if it was awkward for him to go to the hockey game with Steve. Brendan said it wasn't but Matt said it was awkward for him to go to games with Steve. That's a sad state of affairs. |
| 8:26
| What else can Steve do? He gives him hockey tickets, he gives him a parking pass. The other day Piper complained to Buzz that Aimee was too crazy and that other kid's moms weren't crazy. Buzz said she's just crazy enough. Wait until Piper finds out how crazy Buzz is! |
| 8:27
| With all due respect to Buzz, Steve's going to put someone else on keeping tabs on the Shakira tour. After all, Buzz is the guy who didn't know ham was a traditional Easter food. |
| 8:28
| She must not come here that often though. She is world-renowned though. Imagine being able to go anywhere in the world and make money. |
| 8:30
| Buzz wonders what some of the Hollywood divas, like Britney Spears, think of Shakira. She's talented, she's hot and she doesn't act up. Plus she's involved in charity stuff. Wait until she finds out Steve did that March of Dimes thing. He'll be in like Flynn. |
| 8:35
| Caller Art wanted to let Steve know that there's a male Shakira impersonator on America's Got Talent. Art thought that guy would be good for Ben. |
| 8:36
| Art doesn't want that for him or Steve, they're old fashion so they like girls. Steve's going to put Art on hold, give him something off the air. Steve doesn't need his status at the Pride Parade compromised. |
| 8:37
| Also Steve's pretty sure gay guys have been around for a long time. Steve's thinking about going gay actually. It seems really easy to bag a dude. All that Larry Craig stuff got him thinking. All you do is tap your foot? |
| 8:38
| Ben Gay just popped his head in, he couldn't agree more with what Steve is saying. Steve doesn't like Ben being in here when he has to read something. He's always looking over his shoulder. |
| 8:39
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 8:40
| Ben Gay is here although he was already in the studio. Maybe Steve could leave then? Ben likes to be alone with Buzz anyway. |
| 8:41
| Would Buzz like some spuertos because Ben has some. As expected Kerry Wood, or Woodie as Ben calls him, has been named the Cubs closer. Ben was the first person to call him Woodie, shortly before he was banned from the Cubs lockerroom. He was just trying to come up with a nickname! |
| 8:42
| Jason Marquis was named the Cubs 5th starter leaving Jon Lieber to start the season in the bullpen. |
| 8:43
| The Sox lost 3-1 to the Mariners yesterday. Joe Crede had an RBI single in the 8th. Apparently Crede will start the season at third base, they've sent Josh Fields back to the minors. |
| 8:44
| The Blackhawks are facing Columbus tomorrow and Patrick Sharp is excited to be in the playoff hunt with only 6 games left. They're currently 6 points out of the playoffs so it's still possible. That Patrick Sharp is a handsome young man. For some reason Ben hasn't been banned from the Hawks lockerroom, they don't mind him. |
| 8:45
| Buzz feels it'll happen in time. Now that John McDonough is with the team word will get out. For so many years the Blackhawks were a forgotten team so no one cared what happened to them. In the meantime Ben will enjoy every moment of his time in the lockerroom. |
| 8:46
| The NFL has found the 49ers guilty of tampering with Lance Briggs last season and punished the team by taking away their 5th round draft selection. Ben wouldn't mind tampering with Lance Briggs himself. |
| 8:47
| The A's are in Tokyo to take on the Red Sox and kickoff the 2008 season. A's outfielder Jeff Fiorentino is being punished for an unknown transgression. Pitcher Alan Embree stole Fiorentino's clothes and made him wear a pink kimono. Where's the punishment? |
| 8:53
| Live read: Joebees |
| 8:54
| Buzz is not on the bee pollen yet. Is he going to get on it or will he just keep shining Joe Bee on? Because he can't keep asking and have Buzz say no, it's bad for business. |
| 8:55
| If Buzz isn't going to get on the bee pollen Joe can include someone else. Buzz can't put it in his system right now, he's got something else going on there. |
| 8:56
| Joe and the rest of America would love to know what that is. But it's none of his beeswax. It's something Buzz can't even pronounce. |
| 8:57
| Hey Brendan, get in here! Here's a guy who could use some bee pollen. He's got a hectic schedule too. He's up at 3:30 and then here by 4:45. Does he go to sleep until 5:30? Because he's always the last person to arrive before the show starts. |
| 8:58
| Brendan would love to get on the bee pollen, he could use the energy. After this show Brendan has the podcast at noon with Matt Dahl. There's another fella who should be on the bee pollen. |
| 8:59
| Look at what Joebees did for Joe, he can talk now and he's a bee! He doesn't even have vocal chords. Has Brendan seen his stinger yet? |
| 9:00
| News with Buzz |
| 9:01
| Hillary Clinton is still trying to explain how she misspoke about her trip to Bosnia as a First Lady. |
| 9:02
| Clinton had previously said that she arrived in Bosnia as First Lady, under heavy sniper fire. CBS has since uncovered video of Clinton's arrival, with her daughter Chelsea. They do not appear rushed at any point during her arrival. |
| 9:03
| This seems like the final nail in the coffin for her to Buzz. She has mentioned the sniper fire at least twice including at a campaign stop in Dubuque. They love the sniper stuff in Dubuque. |
| 9:04
| Hillary has since said that she was told as they were landing in Bosnia that they had to do it in a certain way to avoid sniper fire. But she just said the thing about the sniper fire the other day. |
| 9:05
| You can't do that when you're being filmed on the campaign trail. People embellish on their stories when they're in a bar but you can't do it when you're running for president. |
| 9:06
| American comedian Sinbad and singer Sheryl Crow were also on the trip. Sinbad?! That right there is a reason why she shouldn't be president. |
| 9:07
| The State of Virginia will offer families of the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre $100,000 and a chance to speak with the university president. |
| 9:08
| A lawyer for some of the victims families say that's not enough. Buzz is surprised they're getting anything. They did sort of drop the ball on warning people about the shooting though. |
| 9:09
| $100,000 does seem a bit low. They should go up to $500,000. If they accept the money they can't sue right? |
| 9:10
| TMZ is reporting that Pam Anderson and Rick Solomon had their divorce annulled. |
| 9:11
| Solomon is claiming Pam promised him she'd have kids with him but then refused to. If she calls her breasts "the twins" maybe he was mislead. |
| 9:12
| But he still made a sex tape. It won't be as good as what Tommy Lee put together though. His first effort with Paris didn't even have any comic relief. |
| 9:13
| In the Tommy Lee masterpiece there's intended humor with the "who's driving the boat" thing and the "stony cookbook". |
| 9:14
| Rick Solomon just lays here with Paris Hilton. There aren't even any encouraging words. It looks like she's doing her laundry or something. |
| 9:15
| Friends of the 6 anti-war protestors jailed for disturbing Easter Sunday services at Holy Name are trying to raise money for bail. They're now calling themselves The Holy Name 6 after previously being Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War. |
| 9:16
| Are they at Cook County Jail? Because they'll hear some real screaming there. They probably changed it to Holy Name 6 because that sounds a little meaner. Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War is bad for the girls and really bad for the guys. |
| 9:17
| Staff members for Todd Stroger are defending his decision to give his cousin a 12% pay raise. Eugene Mullins says that Donna Dunnings deserves that extra cash. |
| 9:18
| What are you going to do about it? Pay more sales tax, that's what you're going to do. There's no stopping Stroger right? Whenever Buzz gets really irritated at Stroger he blames Stan Lawrence who immediately endorsed Stroger. |
| 9:19
| Stan Lawrence was of course the former midday host at WCKG, which we ran into the ground. Stan voted for Stroger just because he was black. Then Stan started talking to Tony Peraica a lot. That could be another reason why the station was run into the ground. They had Dorothy Brown up here once too. |
| 9:20
| Yesterday on Fox Dane Placko did a feature on Dorothy Brown. She has a chauffeur who's listed as a "systems analyst" He's also a bodyguard and investigates a lot of death threats. |
| 9:21
| Dane pointed out that judges don't have that kind of service and she said he'd have to talk to them about that. She also has an Explorer provided to her by the County. She can't drive to Skokie, she doesn't have time for it. |
| 9:22
| Steve saw her up on Stan & Terry's show once. At first Steve thought it was Patti LaBelle or someone like that. |
| 9:23
| A would-be robber wanted to rob a muffler stop and showed up just before 9 am. They didn't have any money yet so the 18-year old gave them his cellphone number and told them to call him when the manager arrived to unlock the safe. |
| 9:31
| Steve has some stuff he needs to get out of today. Janet is on an Eastern European vacation with her friends and sisters. Buzz likes when Steve calls it an Eastern European vacation, like they're over there fighting Communism. |
| 9:32
| While Janet's been gone Steve's trying to get stuff done around the house. He had the guys from Abt come out to fix some of the appliances. Steve doesn't like to have things busted, even if it's one little button. But if he gets it fixed he's accused of being a control freak. |
| 9:33
| One of the things that needed to be fixed was the locking lever on the oven so it can self-clean. It hasn't worked for a while so Steve decided that one it got fix he was going to self-clean that bad boy. |
| 9:34
| Steve likes self-cleaning the oven, it gets so hot that you could probably incinerate a small animal. There was a lot of stuff in that oven and when Steve opened it up there were ashes on the bottom. |
| 9:35
| Steve self-cleaned the oven two more times and the ashes are still there so he needs to know how to get rid of that. He doesn't know if you can use a vacuum or something and he doesn't want to be crawling around in there. Buzz suggests a Devil Duster. |
| 9:36
| Steve actually had to go get a broom because they didn't have one in the house. Maybe they have one and he just doesn't know where it is. |
| 9:37
| Steve has Ed from The Little Guys coming out but Steve's not sure if that's how he wants to spend his afternoon. Steve wants to make some changes to his system and having Ed come out is the only way to do it. He's so needy though. Who knows what will happen if it's just the two of them alone. Steve loves Ozzy Osbourne and Ed looks just like him, it's a recipe for disaster. |
| 9:38
| The generator guy is also coming out and it's going to take all of Steve's self-control to not get a whole-house generator. It's all he really wants. |
| 9:39
| So Steve needs to come up with some artificial device to keep Ed's visit short. Because he'll show up with sandwiches and make a day of it. Ed was upset Steve didn't ask him to the hockey game on Sunday too. |
| 9:40
| Janet not being there cuts down on the chit-chat but Steve needs an emergency phone call to come in about 20 minutes after Ed arrives. |
| 9:41
| Everyone who's calling in says Steve has to wipe down the oven himself. Then what's the point of having a self-cleaning oven? It doesn't seem right that you have to wipe down the oven after your self-clean. |
| 9:42
| Caller Anita thinks Steve has the income to hire someone to wipe down his oven. |
| 9:43
| Caller Tracy says that Steve can vacuum the ashes out of the oven. Steve wants to use that one attachment with the furry things on the end. |
| 9:44
| Steve didn't know how to detach the hose attachment when the Abt guy was there. Plus he was embarrassed about his purple vacuum. Steve asked the guy if he knew how to do it and he said he'd never seen a purple vacuum. |
| 9:45
| The purpose of a self-cleaning oven is just to make it easier for you to get all that stuff out of there. Isn't there some sort of ash-eating rodent Steve could put in the oven? |
| 9:46
| Caller Mike has some info about how to detach the hose from Steve's purple Dyson vacuum. Mike also has a purple Dyson that his wife bought. It's embarrassing to have that when there are only guys in the house. Steve felt like he was Prince vacuuming at Paisley Park. |
| 9:47
| Mike does like to stroke his vacuum like Prince stroked his guitar. What is it with everyone caller today, they all have crazy side comments. It's Crazy Side Comment day. |
| 9:48
| There's a button right near the power button that you push on and the handle and hose part comes loose. |
| 9:54
| Ed from The Little Guys called to see what Steve wanted on his sandwich and he's probably not kidding about that. |
| 9:55
| Steve has Ed penciled in from 2 to 2:30 this afternoon, it's like a doctor's appointment. He's got the generator guy coming right after that. |
| 9:56
| Can Steve just point out how cute it is that Buzz said Devil Duster instead of Dirt Devil? Can he say that's cute. |
| 9:57
| Apparently Steve's purple Dyson is for pet hair. Now that he knows how to detach that hose he can clean the ashes out of the semi self-cleaning oven. |
| 9:58
| It's not self-cleaning if you still have to reach into the oven and clean out the ashes. But what can you do? This is the exciting life Steve is leading. |
| 9:59
| After the show he'll go workout and then go home. He does have some people coming over today but then after that he'll sit around watching the news until around 5 when the dogs start wrestling in front of him in order to annoy him enough so he feeds them. Then they sit around for a while longer until it's time to go to bed. |
| 10:00
| Steve does like to call the boys before they call him. They like to call Steve when they're driving to fill the time. Can't they just listen to the radio? |
| 10:01
| The other day Steve called Pat and he said he was busy and would call back in 10 minutes. But he was going to be driving so Steve told him to call in an hour. |
| 10:02
| Steve doesn't like talking on his cellphone to anyone. And at the house he bought these phones but the handsets are too short so Steve can't get it against his ear and mouth at the same time. |
| 10:03
| So as a result a lot of the conversations involve the boys saying they can't hear Steve. |
