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| 5:30
| Live from the downtown studios of WJMK, formerly Magic, now Jack. Buzz thinks it's still magic though. Should we change the call letters to WJCK or something closer to Jack? |
| 5:31
| Steve needs to do a double clear. He has the weirdest cold now, it's in his chest and throat. All sorts of weird creatures came out of Steve's mouth today. Be careful on the Stevenson, you might slip. Steve had to open his window every 5 minutes to spit something out of his mouth. |
| 5:32
| What is that stuff anyway? It's sort of green but it always makes Steve feel good when he sees it because he knows he's not sick any more. |
| 5:33
| There is a WJCK, it's 88.3 broadcasting out of Piedmont, Alabama. They're a religious station. Maybe we could switch call letters? A religious station doesn't want C and K in their call letters. Buzz imagines that it must be really different to broadcast in the South. With that accent you can draw everything out that you say. What're y'all havin' for breakfast out there? |
| 5:34
| They could take WJMK which could stand for Jesus Must...Kill. No that doesn't work. How about Jesus, Mary and...Kris Kringle? Krispy Kreme? It is the South. |
| 5:35
| Switching the call letters should be a project someone works on. Of course if we were WJCK then we'd always have to be Jack. Fresh FM did change their call letters from WCKG, which we ran into the ground, to WCFS though. |
| 5:36
| WCKG doesn't even exist any more. That was a unique experience for Buzz, he's never been through that in all his years in radio. It was weird for Steve to have the #1 afternoon show on a failing station. It was also weird that his son was losing his job but Steve couldn't say anything. |
| 5:37
| So now WCKG is gone and Fresh FM is in it's place and they have a whole new station with TV commercials. A lot of TV commercials actually, one with a woman who morphs into several different people. |
| 5:38
| Caller Ron thinks that WJMK could stand for Jesus Messenger King. Or how about Jesus Messiah King? Or Jesus My King? A lot of stuff works in there if you add King. |
| 5:39
| Caller Pat is out there at the O'Hare International Airport, he hauls mail. What does that mean, is it code for nailing a chick? Hey, guy code! |
| 5:40
| Pat works for a company that was contracted to pick up mail at the airport and deliver it to various post offices. The other day Steve saw a guy with a Jeep and a bunch of those mail bins in the bag. |
| 5:41
| It sort of looked like the guy had stole the mail and Steve wanted to chase him but he had to get to the hockey game. |
| 5:42
| Pat was calling in to tell Steve what he had for breakfast, he's the guy who lost 100 pounds. OH! That guy! Pat called before back in December and won the Restaurant Tour. Steve remembers now, he didn't gain it all back did he? |
| 5:43
| Pat had some scramby eggs with egg whites. Did Pat just say "scramby" to Steve? Does he know Steve's an adult? He also had Fiber One cereal with pecan and raisins. |
| 5:44
| Pat has to back up into a dock right now so Steve will let him know. Steve can never back up. He can't even back out of his own driveway. He has a circular driveway and if someone parks in front of him and he has to back out he can't do it. He gets into his car and he doesn't know where he is. Then he has to go move the other car so he can drive out forward. |
| 5:45
| In the morning Steve backs straight out of his driveway and even that can be a problem. He almost hit a neighbor the other day who was out walking his dog. Steve doesn't like to back up, he prefers to go forward. |
| 5:46
| When Steve and the boys took an RV on Rt. 66 he promised not to back that thing up. The only time he did back it up he almost killed a family of 5. |
| 5:47
| Steve's going to take a break here. Is it wrong for him to want to know what people are having for breakfast? He's been scouting a sandwich for breakfast, he's looking for a new thrill. He loves those chorizo breakfast burritos but he can't eat them everyday. |
| 5:48
| For the first time in Steve's life yesterday he went into an Au Bon Pain. Just like there's a part of Buzz that doesn't know stuff, there's a part of Steve who's the same way. He doesn't know about downtown stuff. He's sent people over there and he's walked by it but he just looks in like it's an aquarium. |
| 5:49
| Buzz used to stop at Au Bon Pain everyday for two oatmeal raisin cookies but he stopped doing that. Although he was reading in Men's Health that Au Bon Pain's pastries have significantly less fat content than some of their competitors in that field like Cinnabon. |
| 5:50
| Someone sent Steve an email about Cinnabon the other day. If Steve's getting a cinnamon bun though, he's going all in with extra frosting. |
| 5:55
| That's King of Queens, which Steve looks forward to watching every night. Steve watches the NBC news at 6 pm which ends 5 minutes early, forcing Steve to watch the end of the George Lopez Show. That's all Steve can take but it's usually funny. |
| 5:56
| Then King of Queens comes on and after that the White Sox. Although they sucked last night. Well they lost, Steve shouldn't say they sucked. They hit three home runs, you'd think that would be enough to win. |
| 5:57
| Steve didn't go to the game though because as you can hear he's a little sick. So he gave his tickets to Stephanie who had quite a day yesterday. She got free tires and Sox tickets. |
| 5:58
| Steve calls up to the office. Stephanie got free tires at Arlington Toyota because she works for Steve. They heard her talking about needing new tires and buying them with the money from the NCAA pool. So they set it all up. |
| 5:59
| Stephanie had fun at the game even though they lost. She went with her friend Jackie who's a crazy Sox fan. What did she have to eat? |
| 6:00
| Stephanie had some of the prime rib, which is back to being real prime rib. She thought Steve would be proud of her because she normally doesn't eat meat like that. She also had some penne pasta and then a hot dog at her seats. |
| 6:01
| Were those drunk women behind her again? Steve was very concerned that they were season ticket holders but they don't seem to be. That one woman spilled 2 Rum & Cokes on him! She kept asking why they put a straw in the drink and it took all of Steve's self-control to say "It's so you don't spill it on me you dumb bitch!" |
| 6:02
| Stephanie had about 5 of those Passion Pride drinks too. Young lady! That's good though, Steve wants to get his money's worth in those seats. Did Stephanie go out with the players afterwards? She actually just went to her dad's house, he lives nearby. |
| 6:03
| Just for the record Steve would not take those free tires because he can pay for tires. He's happy when other people can take them though. It can't be easy to work for Steve, he's kind of a bitch. So popping 4 new shoes on your Toyota, gratis, is going to make Steve complaining about how his sandwich was assembled or examining the grill marks on his burrito a little easier to take. |
| 6:04
| Caller Randy is out in Sandwich where it's rainy. It's supposed to rain a lot today and there's some sort of flood warning or flood watch. Steve is not wearing his flood watch, how about Buzz? And then there's more snow coming this weekend. What's the deal with that?! |
| 6:05
| Steve doesn't hate Chicago winters but the TV people definitely make it worse. They take you on a roller coaster thrill ride telling you that 60º is right around the corner but then it's going to go back to being cold again. Just take it one day at a time. |
| 6:06
| Randy saw Ron Magers give out a tip about backing up in his car which he thought Steve could use. He said he sat in the center point of his car and adjusted his mirror to that point. When he went back to the driver's seat he had a straight on view of what was in back of him. Randy has tried it and it works. |
| 6:07
| Steve's just going to avoid backing his car up, forever. He's lived in his house for 20 years and he still can't back out of the circular drive. He needs curb feelers on his car otherwise he turfs himself. |
| 6:08
| Steve's just always going to go forward. Back on WCKG, which we ran into the ground, we had a slogan post 9-11, "Moving forward but looking back" which means you would be tripping as you walked because you weren't looking. How fortuitous that slogan ended up being. Buzz remembers a great read Steve did on the slogan where he'd bump into the mic because he wasn't looking. |
| 6:09
| So Steve went into Au Bon Pain for the first time. Normally he avoids it because of the yeast smell. It smells like a yeast infection. Actually Steve doesn't know what a yeast infection smells like but the air isn't properly vented down there. |
| 6:10
| When Steve went into Au Bon Pain the yeast smell was not as strong. So he went to the back to look at the menu, passing some good looking things that he didn't get. There was a woman standing there with a clipboard and she asked if she could help him. |
| 6:11
| Steve told her he was just there to scout the breakfast menu for the next morning. He thought she'd think he was nuts but she actually got what he was doing and then moved on to help someone out. That freed Steve up to check out the menu. |
| 6:12
| Steve settled on the portabello, or is it portabella, sandwich with eggs. It also had a heart-healthy indicator next to it. Steve didn't get one though, he'll send Stephanie to get one this morning. |
| 6:13
| That reminds Steve about something, he needs to call down to Adam. He wants to know where the hot interns are! Adam's working on it but he's been working on it since November and Steve has seen nary a hot intern. |
| 6:14
| Buzz hates to rat Adam out but he will anyway. Buzz saw him interviewing a guy yesterday for the internship position. Adam has to interview all qualified applicants. Was it at least a hot guy? This is like a Senate Hearing. Mr. Bailey, were you not in fact interviewing a guy yesterday? |
| 6:15
| Adam's interviewing for a summer internship because it has to go along with school semesters. Adam just wants to bring kids in and act like a Mr. Bossypants doesn't he? He's just sitting in there like The Judge. |
| 6:16
| Adam asked the guy he interviewed what he thinks he'd bring to the internship position and he said competency. Adam turned it around and said "well I wouldn't hire anyone for the position that's incompetent." |
| 6:17
| Adam probably won't hire an intern for another 4-6 weeks because that's when summer semesters start. Plus a lot of kids are in school in other states so they have to come into town for the interview. |
| 6:18
| Adam has two girls coming in for interview one from Syracuse and one from DePauw. Steve always thought DePauw was a joke bumper sticker but it's a real school. |
| 6:19
| So Adam's searching the entire Midwest for interns, we're going to get the creme de la creme here. He's a great recruiter but he's not really know for his coaching. |
| 6:20
| In this day of Facebook would it be so bad to check out some photos of interviewees though? It's showbiz! Send photos and resumes. Steve's not asking for nude photos, just photos. You can tell a lot from looking at a photo. It says a thousand words, minimum. |
| 6:25
| So Steve's going to get that portabello mushroom sandwich with cheese and eggs. He doesn't know for sure what's on it because they don't have a menu you can take with you. Steve was also disoriented because he'd never been in there. And he wanted to get out of there quick before he ordered something else. |
| 6:26
| Steve remembers sending people over there in the afternoon to get soup and they'd come back with broth and no noodles. That's because all day long people would cherry pick the noodles. Now Steve is in a position to do that. That's one of the thing Tina used to do, go get the soup. |
| 6:27
| Now Steve is not opposed to cherry picking noodles out of the soup. He could get the soup and put it right in his locker at the gym. Even when he leaves the gym he's still in prime position to cherry pick. Steve was always so excited when he'd get his soup and then he'd open it up and it would be broth, a carrot and a cube of chicken. |
| 6:28
| Live read: Sport Clips |
| 6:29
| So Brendan got his haircut at Sport Clips on Fullerton near Racine. He went with the MVP, as did Steve. Buzz wants to see it. They didn't actually carve MVP into his hair although they probably would. |
| 6:30
| So Brendan got his haircut, watched a little of the Cubs game and then had the hot towel and the massage. You can pay for extra massage time if you want. Brendan might get more for free but creepy old dudes can pay for it. |
| 6:31
| Well Brendan looks fine with his new haircut. He feels good too. First time customers actually get a free upgrade to the MVP cut. He got some coupons to hand out to friends and the girl who cut his hair also told him he can come in in between haircuts to get cleaned up. |
| 6:32
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "How many eggs do you eat in a week?" Most people answered 1-3 eggs followed closely by none. |
| 6:33
| Eggs have a bad image becuase of the cholesterol although as with everything, one week it's good for you and one week it's not. Just last week Buzz did that story about a new study saying you don't need to drink as much water as previously recommended. |
| 6:34
| Turns out the study was done by a bunch of kidney specialists who would like nothing more than to see your kidneys fail so they can work on them. It's the same with coffee and global warming. |
| 6:35
| One day they're saying there is global warming and the next day they're saying it doesn't exist. Maybe that polar bear, stranded on that floating chunk of ice, is just the crazy polar bear. Everyone told him not to go out to the ice, it'll break off, but he didn't it anyway. Then there's a helicopter there to take a photo. |
| 6:36
| Today's web poll question is "Which sport did Anna Kournikova play?" This seems like a pretty obvious question. She got an enormous amount of coverage because she's hot. She might be washed up now though which is when she'll need Steve and Buzz |
| 6:37
| Anna Kournikova is only 26? That's probably pert as hell! That was inappropriate. Maybe Bill Kurtis should read this article. |
| 6:38
| Anna Kournikova was supposed to give an interview to Tennis Magazine but her grandmother unexpectedly came in from Russia. Then she ended up in the hospital so the interviewer had to settle for a phone conversation. This was written by a woman. Because a dude wouldn't take no for an answer from Anna. |
| 6:39
| Anna is following the Presidential election even though she's still a Russian citizen. She has a green card but can't vote. Maybe someone should marry her? Maybe our own Pete? And when he does, don't forget Uncle Bill. He'll want to stand in the closet. |
| 6:40
| Anna was happy to bring a new audience to tennis, high schoolers and college boys. She represented the possible crossover appeal of female athletes. |
| 6:41
| As well as inspiring women in Russia to pick up tennis rackets and leave their homeland she also changed the way female athletes were marketed. |
| 6:42
| Bill enjoys the tennis, perhaps Buzz would like to come out to Mettawa and play on one of his 8 courts. Buzz doesn't do tennis although he'd love to see Bill in the white shorts. |
| 6:43
| Bill only wanted one court but they gave him a deal if he put in 8. Donna could come in from the English garden with strawberries, it would be like they were at Wimbledon. |
| 6:44
| There had been attractive female tennis players before Anna but she came along right at the beginning of the internet age. |
| 6:45
| A Google search of her name reveals over 7 million results from offerings of life-size wallpaper with Anna's image to bloggers suggesting she's anorexic. Bill wouldn't mind putting some of that wallpaper in the men's changing room at the tennis courts. |
| 6:46
| She may have won a mere $3.5 million playing tennis but her other earnings went over $50 million. |
| 6:53
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:54
| And now back to Anna Kournikova. There are so many things to talk about with her, about her, on her, under her. She's earned well over $50 million, mostly off the court. |
| 6:55
| Bill has 8 tennis courts at the house, did Buzz know that? There's always a court open and always a little tennis skirt to wear. And they only use those old wooden rackets, it's like The Great Gatsby. |
| 6:56
| Should we take a phone call perhaps? We're getting a lot of calls about this. |
| 6:57
| Caller Eric has a great photo of Anna off the internet that he can send later. She's getting ready to receive a serve and she's totally popped out on one side. So that mean her breast is showing? That's a great phrase, totally popped out. |
| 6:58
| Eric will send that photo in about a half hour. What's going to happen between now and then? Would Eric like a spin? He is giving us the photo and he gave us a great new term for our lexicon. All the kids will be saying "totally popped out" |
| 6:59
| That's Eric and Vernon Hills. You people out there, be aware he's among you with photos of popped out tennis stars. |
| 7:00
| There was a time when everything was a tease with Anna Kournikova. She came to Florida from Moscow when she was 10 to begin training at a tennis school. |
| 7:01
| From that moment they commanded attention. She admits to many ups and downs over the years with her parents but they have a good relationship now. |
| 7:02
| Her parents are divorced which means her mom is available right? She's got a 3 1/2 year old, that could be a deal breaker. |
| 7:03
| Would Buzz like to hear more or has he had enough? He'd really like to see the picture. Is there a picture of her mom? |
| 7:04
| So that's the story of Anna Kournikova, good enough to be remembered and hot enough to be known forever. |
| 7:05
| News with Buzz |
| 7:06
| A planned ceremony along the Olympic route was canceled yesterday because of protests. The torch runner was diverted into a warehouse along the Embarcadero. Why didn't they just keep going? Because now they look like wimps. |
| 7:07
| What kind of violence are they worried about anyway, the Tibetan's don't do violence. There was some speculation that the torch would end up on a police boat in the harbor but that didn't happen. |
| 7:08
| The Dalai Lama has endorsed the Olympics being hosted by China and he's asking that the demonstrations remain peaceful. |
| 7:09
| Another round of American Airlines flights have been canceled as MD-80 aircraft continue to be inspected. |
| 7:10
| Hillary Clinton's campaign said it made $2.5 million at a fundraiser last night where Elton John performed. Some people paid over $2,000 for tickets. |
| 7:11
| Katie Couric's days as a CBS anchor may be numbered. There's speculation she could leave the network by January. |
| 7:12
| An Ohio man has been indicted on charges that he threatened to blow up the Supreme Court and beat up a black men who had relationships with white women. So he doesn't like the interracial stuff? |
| 7:13
| What is killing bees across the country? Beekeepers across the country are hoping Congress will set aside money to investigate the epidemic. Does Buzz need Joe Bee on this story? |
| 7:14
| Joe wouldn't mind getting a piece of that proposed $20 million in funding. He could go undercover as a USDA investigator. He's already a bee. |
| 7:15
| Tainted pot (isn't that a song?) will not be recalled in Germany. Some dealers are adding lead to the pot to make it heavier when they sell it. |
| 7:16
| Drew Peterson will be serving a suspension from his job as an Oak Brook police officer for wearing his police uniform and driving his squad car to a grand jury investigation into the disappearance of Stacy Peterson. |
| 7:17
| Steve said back when this happened that it's not something he should be doing. |
| 7:18
| The Chicago Fire Department's African-American Firefighter Museum is headed for an ironic home. It will be housed in the former home of engine company 100, the infamous firehouse where that video came from. And of course this means we get to see the video again on the news. |
| 7:19
| The only thing they showed with the tap-dancing white guy, they didn't show the black guy or the dog. Buzz was a little disappointed because there as no context. |
| 7:20
| Yesterday a resolution was also introduced to move the Children's Museum from Navy Pier to Grant Park. Mayor Daley argues that the museum would move into a pre-existing underground field house. Steve has some audio of Daley talking about that. It would have helped if Buzz had the story but that wasn't bad off the top of his head. |
| 7:21
| Steve doesn't like bad mic technique as Buzz knows. Daley does not sound good. Those Pritzker's don't mess around though. They want the museum in Grant Park, that's where it's going. |
| 7:22
| Where is this underground field house though? As part of our ongoing team coverage Buzz will be further investigating this matter. Steve would just like to say that children's museums are stupid. The kids don't even want to go there. They can fingerpaint in school if they really want to. |
| 7:23
| Finally Paris Hilton is in love according to her MySpace blog. The object of her affection is Benji Madden of Good Charlotte. Isn't he famous for dating someone else too? Those Good Charlotte guys get a lot of tail. |
| 7:24
| Benji's brother knocked up Nicole Richie. That makes it really convoluted doesn't it? Steve would have a hard time dating Paris Hilton after seeing that video. How do you get the bored racoon eyes look out of your head? |
| 7:31
| There's a little bit more about Anna Kournikova that Bill would like to tell Buzz about. The web poll question today was "What sport did Anna Kournikova used to play?" |
| 7:32
| Just a reminder Buzz, Bill has 8 tennis courts at his home in Mettawa. They go along with the English garden. |
| 7:33
| These days Anna still plays tennis a couple of times a week, often on public courts. That's Bill's point, he and Buzz should head down to South Florida. |
| 7:34
| Anna rarely draws attention playing tennis because she's lived in the area for 10 years. She still frequents the same coffee shop she's always gone to. |
| 7:35
| She is more high profile at public appearances though for charity. What Anna likes about her life now is there are no typical days, no practice or match schedule. |
| 7:36
| Sometimes she's up running at 7 am and sometimes she's partying until 2 am. But she's still not used to her everyday life as a celebrity. It seems like every weekend while she's laying by her pool several boats pull up to watch. |
| 7:37
| That's probably because she lives on the Intercoastal. It's a public waterway, people can do what they want. |
| 7:38
| Next time Steve's in Florida remind him to go to South Beach. No one ever lets him go, they say it's too far. He did go there with the boys pre-Super Bowl. |
| 7:39
| Steve got the weakest invite to the Penthouse Super Bowl Party from Bonnie, formerly of the Stan and Terry show. |
| 7:40
| First she promised a Penthouse pet coming by Steve's condo, he was doing a show from there for the week. That never materialized. |
| 7:41
| Then the night of the party Steve has a dinner miscarriage and has to stop his car in the middle of the street and beg the desk clerk at an Art Deco hotel to let him use the bathroom. You still shouldn't go in there. |
| 7:42
| Then they get kicked out of the party because it's completely fully and David Hochberg almost starts a race riot. Just to get out of there Steve told the boys he'd take them a strip club. And what do they see on top of a parking garage? A guy nailing a girl bent over a railing. That's South Beach but it's not Steve's South Beach. |
| 7:43
| Brendan ended up going back to try to get into the party but he never did. Steve and the boys stopped at Taco Bell that night though. |
| 7:44
| Actually they stopped at Taco Bell after the Super Bowl, that took the sting out of it a little bit. Steve was of course soaking wet from the game but the boys were dry because they'd brought their luggage with them. |
| 7:45
| Steve did had an invite to the post-game party at the Bears hotel, that was supposed to be his make-good to them. But you don't want to go to that after they lost. |
| 7:46
| As Steve is sitting in the parking lot at the game, trying to leave for 4 hours, the boys are crawling around naked trying to change into dry clothes. Everyone had a good time at the game though. It's probably better that they lost. Where's the fun in winning? |
| 7:47
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 7:54
| Live read: Joebees |
| 7:55
| Joe Bee is back. Isn't it time for tubby to take his bee pollen? Steve's got a bit of a throat but this bee pollen is making it go faster. He might double down on the bee pollen today. |
| 7:56
| It's really tough to talk with this throat thing. Steve appreciates Buzz pausing for the double clears, they really work well together. And they just celebrated and anniversary. |
| 7:57
| Buzz is just going with his April 1st anniversary of being in Chicago but there's also an anniversary on April 1st for this current show. |
| 7:58
| Steve's been sick twice this year but he's blaming it on that stupid flu show that didn't cover everything. What kind of flu shot doesn't cover the flu?! |
| 7:59
| Then Steve has to sit there listening to the pharmacist giving him his shot tell him how great Spike O'Dell is. The guy recognized Steve's name and asked if he was still in radio. No, he's homeless! He just wandered in off the street to get a flu shot, then it's back to his job at Ritz Camera. |
| 8:00
| That seems like an overtly rude thing to ask. People say they used to listen and when Steve tells them he's still on the air they say they don't have time to listen. Then this guy is telling Steve how funny Spike O'Dell is while giving him a worthless flu shot! |
| 8:01
| Time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. When Steve and the boys had Taco Bell after the Super Bowl it made a bad day better. |
| 8:02
| Steve got so much food and he didn't even pay $30 for all of it. They ate everything in the bag and the at some point Steve was sucking down mild sauce from packets. |
| 8:03
| How great is Taco Bell? You can just drive up and get a taco! |
| 8:04
| It seems like most of the people at the Super Bowl aren't fans of either team. It seems like you'd have more fun at the game if you weren't a fan of one of the teams although the Bears did lose. |
| 8:05
| Steve was just watching something about the '85 Super Bowl. It seemed like the Bears had a lot of fun down there for 2 weeks but it seemed like it was more fun to watch the game on TV. |
| 8:06
| 23 years ago the TV coverage wasn't as good as it is now either. You're much better off watching football on TV though. |
| 8:07
| But Steve and the boys did got to the pre-game party at the Super Bowl. And the boys all got hammered. Then Pat Dahl was heckling Peyton Manning during the National Anthem. |
| 8:08
| Of course he couldn't hear Pat because they were at least 300 yards from the field. And a guy in front of the, who Steve knew from Chicago, told him to stop. |
| 8:09
| It's hard to care about your team if you're at the Super Bowl because it's more about the party. Although Steve's saying that and his team lost. Colts fans probably had a much better time. |
| 8:10
| The whole thing is so huge and unmanageable though with all the media coverage. It's very antiseptic in person, even with all the colors and the pageantry. Steve's sorry for sounding so bitter. Buzz thinks he just needs to work through this on the air. |
| 8:11
| It's Rex Grossman's fault though, he owes Steve some money. Actually he and Cedric Benson can split it between each other. |
| 8:18
| That's Rex Grossman right after the Super Bowl. He's been nothing but a disappointment to Steve. Buzz thinks this will be his turn-around years. |
| 8:19
| Steve thinks this is the year where Kyle Orton steps it up. He and Buzz have been working with Kyle for the whole time he's been in town. Whenever he comes in the studio they're always taking snaps in the hallway. |
| 8:20
| There was that White Russian scare though, back in '06 but then we learned Kyle only drank them as a tribute to The Big Lebowski. |
| 8:21
| Steve wasn't going to tell this story but he will now. The other day he was leaving the Sox game and he might have been a little aggressive getting out of there. |
| 8:22
| There was a guy coming up on his left and Steve was looking at him and didn't see this guy walking in front of his car with a kid on his shoulders. |
| 8:23
| Steve stopped but the guy starts yelling and swearing at him. It's not like Steve was driving on the sidewalk, the guy was walking through a parking lot, in front of cars that were moving. |
| 8:24
| Steve decided not to swear at the guy because he had a kid with him. Then he hears a thwap from the other side of the car and his collapsible mirror has been pushed in and the glass is cracked. |
| 8:25
| Steve assumed that someone with this guy did it and he was going to get out his car and start yelling at someone but then he realized he'd probably end up on YouTube or something. |
| 8:26
| Had this happened in Florida or something Steve would have probably got out of the car. He almost got arrested at a Dolphins game once for grabbing a guy. |
| 8:27
| It was a Dolphins/Broncos game and Steve was there with his family. This Dolphins fan who looked like Danny Bonaduce grabbed the hat off a Broncos fan. So Steve grabbed the Dolphins fan, pulled him up to his seat and told him to give the guy his hat back. |
| 8:28
| Then the police came and they wanted to arrested both Steve and the Dolphins fan. Steve used his sexual charms on the female officer and explained the situation. Then the took the Dolphins fan away. |
| 8:29
| The White Sox might want to look at that parking lot though because people walk through it as pedestrians. If you ascribe to the pedestrian right-of-way in the parking lot you'll never get out of there. Steve has had people dart in front of his car before but he's never had his car vandalized. And he couldn't do anything about it either. |
| 8:30
| A few weeks ago Buzz was cruising along the lakefront on Marine Drive. Someone was stopped in the middle of the block and he tried to go around them. Then a woman appears holding a child and crossing the street. |
| 8:31
| The car had obviously stopped in the middle of the block so the woman could cross, thus leaving Buzz to almost hit the woman. He slams on the brakes and his heart is pounding. |
| 8:32
| Buzz was completely within his rights to pass the car on the left but the woman is looking at him like he's the devil. As Buzz drives by he rolls down his window and yells "IT'S NOT A GD CROSSWALK!" Steve doesn't think that's too bad. |
| 8:33
| Buzz keeps driving down the block and then stops at the next light. In his rearview mirror is a young man running down the street as fast as he can, obviously mad and outraged. This must have been the father, the husband of the wife Buzz almost killed and then swore at. |
| 8:34
| Buzz thought that he could roll down his window and have a conversation with this guy or get out of his car but he knew that wouldn't have a good outcome. Somehow this guy has the moral high ground and he's outraged. Instead Buzz ran the red light and moved on. |
| 8:35
| Steve was not going to wade through a crowd of drunk Sox fans to find the the person who vandalized his car. It did take some of the fun out of the opening day festivities, having your car vandalized while you're in it. |
| 8:36
| And Steve certainly doesn't want to hit anyone in the parking lot. But there was about a foot and a half between Steve's car and the one in front of him, that doesn't seem like a good place to walk with your kid. |
| 8:37
| Steve was ready to get out of the car though, he had his seatbelt out and his foot was on the ground. You only have about a nanosecond to decide what to do though. It could have been the guy's wife who did it though. So what is Steve going to do? Get out of the car and then have people whip out their camera phones? |
| 8:38
| Steve blames the guy on the left for all of this. There's no way Steve's letting that guy in, even if it means he kills a father and kid. He should have just left early like he wanted to. He can't deal with that sea of humanity. |
| 8:39
| Brendan is getting calls form people who have done stuff to cars but Steve's not interested in that. He doesn't need to hear about stuff that can be done to his car. Brendan is of course not a property or car owner though. |
| 8:40
| Caller JJ is a carpenter. He was on his motorcycle and some guy cut him off. One of his friends he was riding with kicked his door in. The guy was being a real jerk though. |
| 8:41
| Caller Ron is out in Fox Lake, where there really is a lake. Steve hates towns with lake names where there's no lake. Ron was in Tennessee and some guy hit his girlfriend twice in a bar. |
| 8:42
| No bouncers stepped in or anything so Ron clocked the guy to get him to stop. The girlfriend called the police and he got arrested and ticketed. Luckily the judge was old school and gave the woman a lecture. He still had to give Ron 6 months of supervision though. But he told the woman she's lucky there are still people like Ron in this world. |
| 8:43
| Ron was at a bar in Nashville when this all happened. Steve likes Nashville, it's a great town. |
| 8:44
| Nashville was of course where Steve passed out in a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs at the airport. He was down there with Joe Thomas who was unveiling some new artist at the Grand Ole Opry. |
| 8:45
| This was back when Steve was drinking and he was actually sent home by Joe. He told Steve not to mention that this artist he was unveiling was a lesbian. So of course that's the first thing Steve does. |
| 8:46
| So Steve's at the airport, ready to fly home and decides spaghetti is something he can probably keep down. Buzz imagines people pass out in food a lot when they're drunk. You often find yourself with food in front of you when you're drunk. |
| 8:47
| Song: Hit Me WIth Your Best Shot, Pat Benatar |
| 8:50
| Steve's pretty sure Ben Gay is coming in with a special report about the Olympic torch relay. |
| 8:55
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 8:56
| Apologies to the people of the city of Chicago, whatever Steve has will be gone by tomorrow. |
| 8:57
| Earlier when Steve was talking about the Super Bowl and Rex Grossman owing him money he said he wanted to know where he lived. Then Mark found that out and posted the info. |
| 8:58
| He's got his address and links to Google Maps. Steve doesn't need to know all that. This will all be used as evidence in the trial. They'll call Jim Thome as a witness. |
| 8:59
| Steve remembers seeing Rex Grossman at a Mike North charity even at The Gap on Michigan Avenue. Steve doesn't even remember what the charity was for but there's a chance Mike doesn't know either. |
| 9:00
| He remembers seeing Rex and thinking he couldn't be a QB because he was the same height as Pat Dahl. |
| 9:01
| Alright, is it time for Ben Gay? Steve had some Good Charlotte previewing on his computer which he just turned on. The guy from Good Charlotte is dating Paris Hilton and his brother knocked up Nicole Richie. |
| 9:02
| Alright Ben Gay is here and it's so nice to see him. He's a little wet though, it's wet out there and he forgot his rubbers. |
| 9:03
| Ben was out in San Francisco yesterday and he just flew back. And his arms aren't the only thing that's tired. |
| 9:04
| It's a great little town though, Ben needs to move out there. He left his heart and a few other things. |
| 9:05
| So they were supposed to have the torch relay yesterday but it ran amok because of protestors. Many of the protestors were Chinese which added some credibility. |
| 9:06
| Scuffles broke out between human rights activists and pro-Chinese groups. Are those the Chinese people Buzz said he saw? |
| 9:06
| The relay was rerouted and shortened to prevent disruptions from massive crowds. |
| 9:07
| The planned closing ceremony of the relay was scheduled for the waterfront but moved to the airport. And of course torches can't fly because you can't smoke on planes. |
| 9:08
| Do they really put the flame out? It doesn't seem like they should. But the flame has been extinguished 3 times. If they have to put the flame out to take it on a plane why do they care if someone comes at it with a fire extinguisher. |
| 9:09
| Jacque Rogge of the IOC expressed relief that the San Francisco relay avoided most of the issues surround the London and Paris relays. That's because the flame hightailed it and avoided everything. |
| 9:10
| Ben's just hoping the flame got to take in the sights of San Francisco, Fisherman's Wharf, maybe Alcatraz. It's great out there, you can still smell the man. |
| 9:11
| The torch's journey is the longest in Olympic history and is meant to build excitement for the Beijing games. |
| 9:12
| It has instead been targeted by activists angered at China's civil rights violations, treatment of Tibet and support of governments like Myanmar and Sudan. |
| 9:13
| Officials in San Francisco were pleased with the way the event went. |
| 9:14
| Buzz has noticed that Ben has made this entire relay sound very sexual. |
| 9:15
| The torch convoy made it's way to SFO after stopping at the Golden Gate Bridge. Ben used to be a flight attendant based out of San Francisco. You can get sourdough bread right in the airport. |
| 9:16
| There were indications that there could be additional violence if the torch made it's way along a certain route so it was changed at the last second. |
| 9:17
| The police chief of San Francisco is Chinese but she was probably born here. She could be torn on this issue though. |
| 9:24
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 9:25
| Ben would now like to put his feelings aside about the torch because he does take requests. |
| 9:26
| Although Ben would like to read more of the article and try to find another Chinese person he can impersonate. We have all summer to do that though. |
| 9:27
| Ben would like to put his feelings about the Olympics to song. Buzz feels it's an instant classic, is that spontaneuous? It's a form of rap, it's gay rap or grap. |
| 9:28
| Is the Dalai Lama allowed to have sex? It seems like he could get whoever he wants but are monks supposed to have sex? |
| 9:29
| What would be the point of being a monk if you can have sex. Although you never know what happens when you're walking around, maybe the robe slips open. |
| 9:30
| He could probably come over here and nail all the rich white women he wants though. He's exactly what they all think they want, a spiritual guy. He's a loser though, he doesn't even have a job. |
| 9:31
| Bush might not go to the gala. He says he plans to attend but the White House has not ruled out that he might miss the opening ceremonies. |
| 9:32
| Hillary and Barack are both planning on boycotting it. Barack is just copycatting HIllary though. Why do they even have to take a stand on it? |
| 9:33
| Suddenly a bunch of people throw some sheets up on the Golden Gate Bridge and then everyone wants us to boycott China? How can we even boycott China? |
| 9:34
| Ben is blaming George Clooney for all of this, somehow. There's pain and suffering all over the world but people have got to be allowed to have their pole vaulting and pommel horsing. |
| 9:35
| We need to have our Olympics events! We need our butterfly stroke for no reason at all. What is the point of that? If you were really swimming you wouldn't swim like that, it's too tiring. |
| 9:36
| Ben used to do synchronized swimming when he was a woman. Did Buzz know he was a woman for the first 25 years of his life. Buzz does know that, he's seen Ben's file actually. |
| 9:37
| Ben already had a baby too, he's his own baby mama. He took the baby to term and then sold it. Oprah never called him though. |
| 9:38
| So there's all kinds of boycotting going on. You don't want to miss the opening ceremonies though, that's the best part. One wonders if Chicago wants to host the games after all of this. Because everyone hates the U.S. |
| 9:39
| The difference is that the U.S. is not actively practicing genocide. So we do have that going for us. |
| 9:40
| Alright that's all for Ben. Hopefully he's given Buzz something to think about re: the Olympics in Beijing. If you're ever over there, try the Chinese food, it's great. |
| 9:41
| When you leave you can actually take out the food. You can grab a gallon of fried rice and take it right to the airport with you. |
| 9:42
| Buzz has never been to China, perhaps he and Ben should go. Buzz would go for the Olympics this summer. Ben would only go for a sex slave. Can't he get that here? |
| 9:43
| Ben will probably be covering the games for Windy City Times but they're still negotiating that. Which means Ben is playing hard to get. |
| 9:50
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:51
| Steve needed to retrieve his live copy from his "filing cabinet." He does two of these per day but they only give him one piece of copy. We're trying to stay green around here. |
| 9:52
| News with Buzz |
| 9:53
| Chinese authorities have foiled plans to kidnap foreigners and carry out suicide attacks involving the Olympics in Beijing this summer. |
| 9:54
| Would it annoy Buzz is Steve talked with a Chinese accent all summer during the Olympics? It's probably annoying him now. |
| 9:55
| How do people know how to pronounce Chinese names and cities? Sometimes people can barely speak English but it seems like people know the Chinese pronunciation. |
| 9:56
| The EU Parliament has voted to boycott the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. That means Steve and Buzz could get really good seats for it. They could bring Piper over there to translate. She can carry on conversations with anyone she even thinks is Chinese. They'd need to find a babysitter at night though because there are things they need to see in China that Piper can't see. |
| 9:57
| White House spokesperson Dana Perino believes that if we have good relations with China we'll be able to pressure them to make some changes. |
| 9:58
| Keith Richards is now saying he used to inject heroin with syringes he bought at a toy store. Is this going to be like when he said he snorted his father's ashes, then he said he didn't do it. |
| 9:59
| You know he did though right? Of course he did. Keith says he regularly smokes marijuana but when he used to do heroin he found it hard to fly with syringes. |
| 10:00
| So wherever Keith went he would go get toy syringes at a toy store and then immediately order up a cup of coffee because he needed the spoon. He's a crafty beaver. |
