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| 5:31
| Hey Pete? Oh Pete? Before Steve left yesterday he put the machine on "Show Open" so he's ready for today. Then after the show Pete puts it on "Prize Wheel" |
| 5:32
| Pete came in and saw "Show Open" and thought it was weird. You know what it was on "Show Open"? Because that's the first thing Steve was going to play today. Steve noticed that it was set to "Prize Wheel" so he hit it on purpose. |
| 5:33
| But it seems psychotic for Pete to change the machine back to "Prize Wheel" That's how we do it though, the default setting is "Prize Wheel", always. |
| 5:34
| Pete's like the lady from Tinley Park! It's OK though but Pete undid everything Steve had planned. Sometimes he feels embarrassed because people ask him what he does to prepare for the show and he says he doesn't do anything. |
| 5:35
| So last night Steve actually prepared for today's show. Buzz thinks that Pete knew there'd be no humor in leaving the machine on "Show Open" so he changed it. |
| 5:36
| Steve's machine in the studio has 50 buttons on it and you can load all these sounds onto it and then play them by hitting the button. Unfortunately the machine doesn't play sounds simultaneously. Steve writes the company all the time to ask if they're ever going to make a machine that plays sounds simultaneously but they never respond. |
| 5:37
| Back in the 80s someone actually made Buzz a machine that played 3 sounds at the same time. It was only 3 sounds though. Then someone stole it. Buzz is still looking for that thing. |
| 5:38
| The first item on the machine is Corky from Waiting for Guffman which can probably come off. Steve had that on there for when Wendy Snyder used to drop her G's to keep it real. |
| 5:39
| After that you've got Donovan's Atlantis, then dueling banjos and then Bernie Mac talking about how he's done with the White Sox. Then he goes to the 2005 World Series. That can probably come off too. |
| 5:40
| Pete doesn't think we should take it off, if he had a vote. He doesn't, these are all rhetorical questions. Bernie Mac is aware that Steve has that audio and plays it, he actually left him a mean voicemail about it. Buzz would keep it just for that reason. Sadly we don't have the mean voicemail that Bernie Mac left. We have a really bad phone system around here. For 2 days this week it was just out. |
| 5:41
| After that we've got the Blues News music and the Blues News sting. Then Candy Man for Alan Keyes. That's probably done. "Tree lights out, bus lights on" a CTA protest chant, can probably stay on. That's timeless. |
| 5:42
| The Dating Game theme can probably stay, you never know when Drew Peterson might call in again. Drew's going to be on Larry King, how great is that going to be? Larry's had just as many wives, more actually. Drew might aspire to be Larry. |
| 5:43
| What time is that going to be on? It's hard to tell with Larry King because they rerun that show all night. CNN at night sucks. |
| 5:44
| Steve is having a coughing spasm, he's just trying to run the week out. Buzz has actually caught what Steve has. Was that from their French kissing? Buzz did warn him, "no tongue" he said, "just the reach-around." OK that was creepy once Steve said it. It's like when he said that girl was pert yesterday. |
| 5:45
| Steve had Janet get him some Mucinex yesterday. He told her only to get the Mucinex because she has a tendency to get several items. She came back with three things and recommended the Primatene. Steve tried to take a nap but his heart was racing, then he looked at the box and it said "May cause sleeplessness" |
| 5:46
| So Steve took the Mucinex last night and it seems to be working. He's going to recommend Mucinex but just the regular Mucinex. Buzz can't believe Steve took Primatene without reading the label. He actually forgot that Janet can fall asleep no matter what. |
| 5:47
| So the Mucinex seems to be working but throughout the day Steve might have to turn the mic off and go into a Brian Wilson coughing fit. |
| 5:48
| Buzz is alone for the weekend so he's looking for something like Mucinex. You don't want to be awake through your cold. Right now he just has a sore throat, which Steve had earlier in the week. It's sort of like a sore throat you get with the mumps. |
| 5:54
| Steve's sorry for giving Buzz what he had. Buzz isn't sure it's from Steve, he has illness in his house now. Maybe Steve got it from Buzz while it was laying dormant in him. |
| 5:55
| Steve still feels bad when his co-workers are sick because he doesn't like to be sick. Steve and Buzz don't really come in contact during the show so it's doubtful any sickness was passed on. |
| 5:56
| Live read: Walter E. Smithe |
| 5:57
| You can honor Earth Day at Walter E. Smithe by getting an organic mattress or some eco-friendly furniture from their Ecollection. Or you can get a job there if you want, it's full service. |
| 5:58
| Steve would get the job first, that way you probably save even more money on the furniture. Steve was thinking about becoming a Design Specialist. "He's such a nice young man" they'd say about him. Actually Steve wouldn't be targeting women who think he's a young man. Cougars to him are in their 90s. |
| 5:59
| What is an organic mattress? Orgasmic Steve gets but not organic. |
| 6:00
| Alright time for the web poll. Actually no, we're talking to Patrick Bertoletti. Steve was told not to be annoyed when he talked to Patrick but he's already annoyed because he's not on hold yet. |
| 6:01
| We're trying to work Patrick in on a regular basis. But he's going to have to get up a little earlier in the morning. Steve read through that live read twice just because Patrick wasn't on the phone yet. |
| 6:02
| Patrick is irritating. What's he doing, putting the finishing touches on his mohawk? |
| 6:03
| Alright Patrick is on the phone now. He was pulling an all-nighter last night and decided when he got off work at 4 am that he shouldn't go to sleep. What was he doing up until 4 am? |
| 6:04
| Patrick was up preparing diet food that gets delivered to various people. They've done food for some Blackhawks players and White Sox players. Steve wants Blackhawks food! |
| 6:05
| So why is Patrick feeding these players? Are they too stupid to do it on their own? Patrick was also preparing meals for a college football player, it was a 4,000 calorie a day diet. |
| 6:06
| The guy actually lost weight when he first started eating the meals so his trainers asked him to up the calorie intake. That's the kind of diet Steve wants to be on. He could probably show this football player how to gain more weight though. |
| 6:07
| Patrick isn't preparing meals for the Blackhawks any more but now that the White Sox are back in town he's doing meals for them. But not for the Cubs? Apparently they can figure out their own meals. |
| 6:08
| Patrick's next competition is oysters down in New Orleans. Does he remember last year when Anthony Bourdain was in and Patrick actually grossed him out with his 56 dozen oysters. Steve's got some oysters he's coughing up if Patrick needs some practice. |
| 6:09
| The oysters were so cold that Patrick had to put a jacket on while he was eating oysters. He could feel how cold his stomach was through the jacket though. |
| 6:10
| So Patrick's going to be calling in every Friday. But in the future he should call in ahead of time and wait on hold. |
| 6:11
| So what else is going on with Patrick, is he married yet or anything? Not that he's aware of. Well if Patrick needs some practice Steve has some lung oysters he can use. |
| 6:12
| Patrick's flight is at 1 pm today so he'll probably head to the airport and just sleep at his gate. Why doesn't he just sleep at his apartment? Patrick's schedule is really messed up so if he falls asleep now he won't wake up until 3 this afternoon. |
| 6:13
| Only Patrick would stay up all night so he didn't miss the call into the show, then nearly miss it and then irritate Steve. |
| 6:14
| Steve's never heard the term "lung oysters", he might have just come up with it and he'd like to be recognized for it. |
| 6:15
| Buzz can't believe Patrick ate that many oysters. Steve can barely eat one unless it's Oysters Rockefeller or something. Raw oysters look like someone hocked one on a shell. And it tastes like that too. |
| 6:22
| That's a little Spartacus for you. Steve's pretty sure that's the scene where Tony Curtis is giving Laurence Olivier a bath. And Olivier is coming on to him. Buzz is pretty sure they removed that scene from the original movie. |
| 6:23
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 6:24
| Steve wants to buy one of these homes just because it sounds like such a great deal. Buy a house, get a Lexus and free gas for a year?! If Steve bought one of these houses he'd want it to look just like in the photo. He wouldn't want to walk into an empty house. |
| 6:25
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "What sport did Anna Kournikova play?" and the options were tennis, golf and bowling. She'd probably be good at golf and bowling too though. All Steve knows is she hangs out in South Beach, works out in public and sun bathes at her pool which you can see from the Intercoastal. |
| 6:26
| Today's web poll is "Have you ever been speed dating?" Single men and women sit at hi-top tables with drinks, wearing name tags that identify them. |
| 6:27
| This is from the Columbia College Chronicle. Steve's a member of the Columbia College board but he's only been to one meeting. Really it's just a way for them to get $5,000 a year in donations from you. |
| 6:28
| Do Zippy and Catman ever attend ay speed dating? Pete has never been but Catman might have been a few times. You get 30 numbers in 30 minutes and they're all desperate. |
| 6:29
| Maybe Catman thinks it's beneath him but then the girls are beneath him if Pete knows what he's saying. Catman has gone out with girls he meets at speed dating but it never went past the first date. Is that when he nailed the girl? |
| 6:30
| If you're going to speed dating that says "Nail me". Speed dating sounds like a horrible idea though but in his day and age people will try anything. |
| 6:31
| What kind of company is Date and Dash? People give you their email address and $32 and then you set up a bar event. Drinks probably aren't included in that price either. |
| 6:32
| The owner of Date and Dash believes speed dating is a much better option than online dating. Of course he does. If you're speed dating you see the people face to face. On the internet the photo could be old. Or it could be a photo of some guy's johnson. |
| 6:33
| Speed dating is great for people who are shy or afraid of being rejected. If you're shy are you going to want to meet 10 people in a half hour? |
| 6:34
| If someone doesn't like you they won't tell you or walk away, at the end of the night they select the people they'd like to contact on a card. Was this article written by a journalism student? Because it's poorly written. As a trustee at Columbia College Steve is demanding a full investigation. |
| 6:35
| If you're talking to someone and you have a little card with you, you're going to circle yes or no right there, otherwise you won't remember after. Most people can read upside down can't they? Reading upside down is a great skill to have in showbiz. |
| 6:36
| For an extra $9.99 Date and Dash participants can see who said yes or no to them. The whole point of this Date and Dash seems to be to avoid rejection by not knowing who said yes or no and then they're giving you the chance to see who rejected you? |
| 6:37
| Some dating experts have doubts about speed dating. Patty Feinstein, a dating coach, helps people through bad break ups. Steve has doubts about dating coaches. |
| 6:38
| Steve and Buzz should be dating coaches, with their practice limited exclusively to young women. Buzz used to date a coach but it didn't work out. That's how he made first string though. |
| 6:39
| Feinstein has been a dating coach for 10 years and has only seen 1 successful couple. You'd think it would happen more than that, even if by accident. Do you really want to marry someone you met speed dating? Although if you're speed dating you've probably lowered your standards. |
| 6:40
| Feinstein believes speed dating is only for certain people like those who might be a little socially awkward. That sounds like Pete. He doesn't think he'd be able to even speed date. He'd probably get hammered before he did it and then feel everyone up. He'd be arrested for assaulting 10 women in 30 minutes. |
| 6:41
| Feinstein equates speed dating to shopping at a place like TJ Maxx. Steve was once at TJ Maxx and the only thing they had in his size were hip-hop jeans. Did he even think for a moment about buying them? |
| 6:42
| Steve would go into speed dating just asking the girl if she's wearing panties. In 3 minutes you can probably tell if you have your hands on a freak. |
| 6:43
| Speed dater Mike Krillich says he usually goes in asking questions about what the person does for a living or what they do for fun. He doesn't learn much from these vague questions so he goes off of a vibe. But it says he hasn't met anyone yet. |
| 6:44
| This article is not a great endorsement for Date and Dash. This is a troubling little piece there. Buzz would like to try a few three minute rounds just to see what it's like. Steve will try it out, all they need is some name tags and they can jump right in. |
| 6:45
| Caller Josh has speed dated before. It sounds like he's on speed now. He used it as a way to bounce back after a 5 year relationship. He had no dating mojo once he got back into the dating scene. |
| 6:46
| Steve can't believe that, he and Buzz both want to date him now based on his rap. Josh is married now but he didn't meet her speed dating. |
| 6:47
| He did meet her in a bar though and he thinks speed dating helped him. When you speed date you can see what's coming at you right away. Isn't Josh coming at them though? |
| 6:48
| You can't avoid what you're walking towards either, you just have to sit down for 3 minutes. There are some real hochwzers though. We don't speak yiddish here so Steve doesn't know what that means. How about monstrosities? |
| 6:49
| Steve's going to let Josh go because he's making him nervous. Josh calls in from time to time and he's wound a little tight. |
| 6:50
| If you're a single guy you want to check out the supermarket on a Saturday night. That's when all the fat girls go shopping. They're willing and they've got good food in their cart. Steve doesn't consider a monstrosity to be fat. Usually she's got no teeth or her clothes are too tight. |
| 6:51
| Caller Mike was wondering if Steve and Buzz are a package deal at speed dating. How could you choose one and not the other? |
| 6:52
| Steve thinks it would be much easier to just walk up to someone at a bar and talk to them. Buzz thinks that having someone tell you to sit down and talk to a person in speed dating would probably be less awkward. |
| 6:57
| Live read: Sport Clips |
| 6:58
| If you want to get a haircut this weekend and watch the baseball games, or if you have boys who need a haircut, go to Sport Clips. Or you could watch The Masters. Buzz has watched a little of The Masters, it's pretty entertaining. |
| 6:59
| As Steve said last week Sport Clips would have been good when Steve's boys were younger. It was always really tough to get them in for a haircut. |
| 7:00
| News with Buzz |
| 7:01
| More cancellations are in store for troubled American Airlines. Bummer. Buzz has been reading some deep background on this story and it could cause a ripple effect through June. By deep background does he mean the second paragraph of the story? |
| 7:02
| When the planes were inspected the first time everything was fixed but apparently not to FAA specifications. So now they're hauling them all back in. As someone who isn't flying any time soon, Steve is all for it. |
| 7:03
| It seems like the FAA are sort of being jerks but that's coming after that whole thing with the guy at Southwest. He was being bullied by a guy at the FAA to not fix certain things. It sounds crazy but Steve's pretty sure that's what happened |
| 7:04
| The Marine manhunt is over and U.S. Marine Corporal Cesar Laurean was captured in Mexico. He is wanted for the murder of pregnant Marine Lance Corporal Maria Lauterbach. |
| 7:05
| It's Argentina's turn for the Olympic torch today and authorities in that country are bracing for more protests. |
| 7:06
| Steve did look at the tape of the San Francisco protests yesterday. It sounds like he had a screening set up or something but he saw it on CNN. There seem to be 3 groups of people protesting. |
| 7:07
| The first group are people against China, then there's a group of Chinese people who are happy with how China is and then there's a third group who only care about Darfur. |
| 7:08
| Steve was watching American Idol last night and he doesn't know why. There were new episodes of Earl, 30 Rock and Office last night but God help him he watched American Idol. |
| 7:09
| This is their charity week on American Idol so there's been video of Bono and other celebrities and it's all that Africa stuff. Steve doesn't really get what it's for though. |
| 7:10
| Steve's a grown man, he can probably figure it out for himself. But he sees Forest Whitaker crying in some funky house in Africa. How much does Steve give for that? The house seems like a tear down to Steve. |
| 7:11
| According to Steve's research, China buys oil from Sudan and that helps finance violence in Darfur. Mark Czerniec doesn't seem to get that Steve doesn't really want to know. He just wants to know that Forrest Whitaker is in a house in Africa that looks like a tear down. |
| 7:12
| Steve does love Chinese food though, he might stop in C-Town on his way home tonight. He knows some people in Chinatown, he could ask around and see if they have any influence in China. |
| 7:13
| Maybe George Clooney should spend more time making his movies better though, based on that Leatherheads. He can't work on the script on the flight home? |
| 7:14
| Wal-Mart and Best Buy have been fined by federal regulators for failing to properly indicate that analog TVs will be obsolete by next year. |
| 7:15
| Has Buzz seen the public service ads with Brant MIller? He's telling people how they can convert their analog TVs to digital but it requires that you go to a website. Steve's guessing if you still have an analog TV you don't even have a dial-up internet connection. |
| 7:16
| Video of a student beating up a Baltimore art teacher has shocked administrators and parents. However the principal of the school is now blaming the teacher, saying she used trigger words to provoke the student. |
| 7:17
| Steve grew up in a world where the teacher is always right and the student is always wrong. There's definitely something to be said for that. Sure there's an occasional injustice but over the course of time it usually works out. |
| 7:18
| Some bad news out of London, Kenny Baker, who played R2-D2 in Star Wars is dead. Actually that's premature, he's just in the hospital. He suffered an asthma attack while returning to London from Chicago. Was he actually in the R2-D2 robot? So he's a little person? |
| 7:19
| Buzz has been seeing an ad for a stripper in town this week, Bridget the Midget. He's got to get out to see that. |
| 7:20
| Drew Peterson will be on Larry King tonight. Imagine how much that's going to run amok. Because Larry is an idiot and Drew is an idiot so imagine getting them together. They'll probably become fast friends. |
| 7:21
| Hopefully Larry doesn't complicate it with a lot of other people though. Steve is guessing we'll get the Joel Brodsky sidecar but he never stops Drew from saying anything. He's an enabler. |
| 7;22
| Larry King's show is like Jerry Springer only the guests have more teeth. He's the Jerry Springer of Washington, DC. |
| 7:23
| Heather Mills has sent 8 pages of dietary instructions to a hotel in Morocco while Paul McCartney spends time with their daughter. |
| 7:24
| Steve's looking at The Admiral website right now, he's seeing Bridget the Midget kissing another girl. What's really drawing his attention is a girl holding two cinnamon buns covering her breasts. |
| 7:25
| The most expensive cup of coffee is being sold in London for $100 a cup. The beans from the coffee is harvested from the dropping of cats. No thanks! Steve will just stick with his regular coffee. |
| 7:32
| Steve imagines that Mark DeRosa from the Cubs is a little upset today because the guy from American Idol he was backing was kicked off. |
| 7:33
| You could tell that the guy wasn't expecting to be kicked off and thought something had gone horribly wrong. Ryan Seacrest seemed to lull the guy into thinking they weren't going to kick anyone off and then they did. |
| 7:34
| Steve likes that Jordin Sparks, she was on last night. She has some song with some little fellar. This is where a Brendan comes in handy. It's Chris Brown, who's Rihanna's boyfriend. That's the Umbrella girl. Steve doesn't like that song, it's stupid. |
| 7:35
| Does Buzz want to hear a clip of the song? Imagine Steve sitting in his underpants watching American Idol. It doesn't seem like he should like this song right? |
| 7:36
| It's lame, Steve knows. He looked at his reflection in the sliding glass door and said "Bro, you have gone Lame City!" He's pulled up lame, he doesn't know what else to say. He did manage to squeeze in The Office and 30 Rock before the Mucinex kicked in though. |
| 7:37
| That song is heavily produced but they managed to reproduce the effect on their voices on stage. Steve was completely happy watching the show and he was glad they kicked that guy off because he doesn't like him. |
| 7:38
| Anyway Mark DeRosa was backing that guy and he got kicked off. He was kicked off hard too. He's Australian but he lives in Atlanta and he plays Australian rules football. Shut the hell up! |
| 7:39
| Steve wants all the guys kicked off and then he wants that country western girl to win. She was showing a little tummy last night. |
| 7:40
| Maybe Steve and Pete can get together and watch Idol. Then Pete can pull him into Grey's Anatomy. That's coming back soon, Steve's already figuring out ways to avoid watching it. |
| 7:41
| Pete would like to see Archie win even though he's a dork. He doesn't like that other guy who's left on the show though. He does like the girl when she sings country songs though, she's hot. |
| 7:42
| Michael Johns calls Buckhead, Georgia his home. His musical influences include The Beatles, Neil Finn, Queen, Otis Redding, David Bowie and AC/DC. |
| 7:43
| Steve also doesn't like the kid with dreadlocks. Although his dirty little secret is that after that guy played a song on ukulele Steve had Stephanie order the same one for him. He's doing all sorts of things that are wrong. He's pulling up lame. |
| 7:44
| Steve has just learned that Jordin Sparks is opening for Alicia Keyes when she's in town so he'll be attending that. |
| 7:45
| Kristy Lee Cook is the girl Steve likes. Her hometown is Selma, Oregon. Her personal quote is "Rope it, ride it, wrestle it, cowgirl it." That's also on Steve's license plate frame. |
| 7:46
| So what is Pete's TV schedule like when he gets home? Steve's pretty sure they're watching the same shows. He's really getting into the judge shows lately. Steve likes Judge Mathis because it's filmed in Chicago so there are a lot of weird Chicago references. |
| 7:47
| Judge Mathis is really funny, he's like one of the Kings of Comedy. And he's got a bailiff who laughs at all his jokes. Steve can't believe this has been going on here all this time and he never knew about it. They film it all over at NBC in the old Jenny Jones studios. Buzz calls that the basement of shame. |
| 7:48
| Caller Jenny wanted to let Steve know that Jordin Sparks won American Idol last year. It has been easier to watch American Idol with the new schedule. |
| 7:49
| Although Office was on at 8 last night so Steve was still able to watch that. He hasn't been that into Earl lately though. It's a simple concept and they're making it way too complicated. Every week should be him doing something off the list. |
| 7:50
| The Office last night might have been the best one ever. Michael and Jan had people over for dinner and it was very awkward. It had everything you want in an episode of The Office. It was a friggin' masterpiece. |
| 7:51
| Pete was discussing with the other staff members and he thinks Jim and Pam should win Emmy's just for their facial expressions looking at the camera. |
| 7:52
| Live read: Joebees |
| 7:53
| Steve's going to double down on the bee pollen again, you can't overdose on this stuff can you? He's about a week away from snorting it. |
| 7:54
| Does Buzz want to do a stinger check? What's going on down there?! It's like the Statue of Liberty. |
| 8:00
| It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Friday which means it's time to taco up. Actually it's a Bacon Club Chalupa. Steve wasn't even aware that existed. |
| 8:01
| Steve's got two versions of Bolingbrookville in here, which one should he play? It's all getting him in the mood for the Larry King appearance. How great is that going to be? Two idiots together, that's great TV. |
| 8:02
| Song: Bolingbrookville, Steve Dahl |
| 8:06
| Drew was wondering if Buzz was ever going to get back with Johnny B. He liked that show and he doesn't like this one. Dahl's a smart ass and in Drew's line of work he deals with smart asses everyday. |
| 8:07
| Drew's on his way to the airport to go film Larry King. They film that in New York right? Buzz is surprised he wasn't there overnight. He could be, maybe he's talking to Buzz via satellite. |
| 8:08
| If Drew's there the whole day he'll be able to enjoy room service for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then maybe he'll take in a Jersey Boys performance. The last time Drew was in New York he said he was going to take in a movie but he might have meant Broadway show. |
| 8:09
| Actually Drew's in L.A. right now for Larry King. He was out with Paris HIlton last night, they made a tape. There was no sex but the lights were turned off so she could get those racoon eyes. |
| 8:10
| Everything in L.A. has a Mexican name because it used to be Mexico. Drew's going to go for a run on the beach pretty soon, maybe he'll run into Charlie Sheen |
| 8:11
| Drew's hoping that Larry doesn't ambush him tonight. He's known for lobbing the softball questions but he could see Drew as a sitting duck. |
| 8:12
| Buzz thinks Drew has a lot of experience already on TV, he should be able to handle Larry King. He looks like a bobblehead doesn't he? And he's married to some 18-year-old broad. He likes the young ladies, as does Drew. |
| 8:13
| Drew was hoping they could go out after the show, maybe to the Viper Room or Whiskey-a-Go-Go. Buzz isn't sure Larry would want to make a public appearance with him. |
| 8:14
| It's good to hear from Drew isn't it? |
| 8:15
| Live read: Seattle Sutton |
| 8:23
| Steve has a little more Drew Peterson to lay on Buzz but first he has something else to do. |
| 8:24
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:25
| It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time with Pat Boyle. The Cubs won last night, sweeping the Pirates. Is that such a big deal? The Pirates kind of suck. |
| 8:26
| After those first two games it was a good sweep. They basically played 5 games in the span of 3 days. Jon Lieber was the savior of the trip. |
| 8:27
| The Sox game was rained out which Steve learned in advance so he didn't have to go down there. Although it's not that bad going down there because you still get the buffet even if they cancel the game. |
| 8:28
| The Tigers come to down now, they're 1-8. They always say you can't win the division in April but you can lose it. They could leave Chicago 10 games under .500. That'd be OK with Steve. |
| 8:29
| Jim Leyland will probably be smoking a pack of cigarettes a game this weekend. Can you smoke at The Cell? Steve would like to see him get arrested for that. |
| 8:30
| They've got a pretty cool feature on Comcast cable now, every Cubs and Sox game on the network will be On Demand. So now when Hawk says "If you've just joining us" every 5 minutes it'll actually make sense. |
| 8:31
| Hawk can't help but say "If you're just joining us". He can't welcome every single person tuning in throughout the game can he? |
| 8:32
| The Masters is going on this weekend. Buzz was watching some of that, he was really amazed by the camera work. It helps that he was watching it in HD. |
| 8:33
| There was one shot where the camera zoomed in on the flight of the golf ball. How do they do that? At one point the ball filled Buzz's entire screen. |
| 8:34
| HD has really brought sports to a whole other level watching it on TV. |
| 8:35
| Augusta is probably a club Steve and Buzz couldn't get into right? There's a 500 year waiting list. |
| 8:36
| Wasn't there a protest a few years ago because they wouldn't let women in? There was a female golfer trying to boycott CBS sponsors but it didn't seem to work. |
| 8:37
| Pat's not sure if they have any women now but any guy can get in. |
| 8:38
| Pat has another story about Nascar truck racing. Steve always means to follow the sport but he doesn't. |
| 8:39
| A driver was arrested for possession of heroin and is admitting he used heroin before many races. Now Steve's interested. |
| 8:40
| It seems like you'd be better off going with speed on race day or at least a speedball. Aaron Fike was arrested over the weekend in Ohio. |
| 8:41
| Fike and his fiance Cassandra were taken into custody Saturday night after Kings Island park authorities reported suspicious activity from his SUV. |
| 8:42
| It doesn't seem like heroin is an ideal substance for racing but he came in 5th place in his last race. |
| 8:43
| Buzz has the feeling heroin's stock will be on the rise in NASCAR truck racing. |
| 8:44
| Maybe heroin could be part of a regular pit stop. A nice driving suit with a butt flap for injections would really work. |
| 8:45
| Pat's last cut is Larry King talking to Jerry Seinfeld. just because Drew's going to be on there tonight. |
| 8:46
| Hopefully he knows a little more about Drew than he did about Jerry Seinfeld though. |
| 8:54
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:55
| Steve thinks this live read was written by a Cubs fan because it says a World Series is a pipe dream. It just happened for the Sox though. |
| 8:56
| Maybe it won't happen for another 87 years but it just happened 3 years ago. |
| 8:57
| Steve has a little bit more Drew Peterson but how about some news first? |
| 8:58
| News with Buzz |
| 8:59
| It's Argentina's turn to host the Olympic torch and police in that country are preparing for more protests along the relay route. |
| 9:00
| World leaders are being called on to boycott the opening ceremonies in Beijing this summer unless China opens up relations with the Dalai Lama. |
| 9:01
| 87 American Airlines flights have been canceled at O'Hare but an airline rep says there is some good news. |
| 9:02
| A Marine whom authorities believe murdered a pregnant Marine was taken into custody in Mexico. How do you find someone in Mexico like that? Was he on America's Most Wanted or something? |
| 9:03
| Sometimes you can be in a hotel room in Mexico for a week and people still wouldn't know who you are. Buzz is always amazed when someone is arrested in Mexico. It seems like no one cares down there which is probably the attraction. |
| 9:04
| The relatives of Virginia Tech victims will be paid $11 million as part of a settlement preventing them from bringing lawsuits against the school. |
| 9:05
| All three Presidential candidates appeared on American Idol last night. They were all taped segments and they were all very stiff. |
| 9:06
| The actors probably didn't want to be around the politicians though. Forest Whitaker was in some house in Africa asking people to donate. That house looked like a tear down to Steve. |
| 9:07
| Everyone says he's a great actor, Steve thinks he's a ham. He could have played Idi Amin with make-up too. It would be an albino Idi Amin but still. Whitaker does voiceover for some commercial which Steve can't remember right now. |
| 9:08
| The internet is abuzz with speculation of a photo on the White House website showing Dick Cheney fly fishing. Some believe that the reflection in Cheney's sunglasses is a naked woman. |
| 9:09
| Steve has seen the photo, it's not a naked woman. Why would they put that on the White House website anyway? |
| 9:10
| CBS is axing it's new reality show Hidden Talents of the Stars. Is that because they had no talent? |
| 9:11
| A photo of France's first lady, nude, has been sold for $91,000. It was taken in 1993 when she was a sought after model. |
| 9:12
| Can Steve go back and clean a few things up? First of all that Marine in Mexico, he gave his real name to a police roadblock and they arrested him. |
| 9:13
| There was also a guy on hold who had some info about Forest Whitaker. Steve even wrote down what Forest Whitaker said in the ad. It's really annoying. |
| 9:14
| Pete has the audio of Forest Whitaker from American Idol last night. That's acting right? |
| 9:15
| Steve doesn't need to see that in the middle of American Idol. He's just trying to watch a talent show. He doesn't need that or Vic Mackey coming on screen to say he's going to knock your door down if you don't donate. |
| 9:22
| Live read: Paulina Meat Market |
| 9:23
| Buzz is finally going to the Paulina Meat Market tomorrow. Steve's recommending the Cajun jerky. |
| 9:24
| Steve thinks his Forest Whitaker is right on. Buzz hasn't seen him practice it either. |
| 9:25
| Alright back to the news with Buzz |
| 9:26
| 8 Florida teens will be tried as adults in the videotaped beating of a fellow student. Bumma, bumma. |
| 9:27
| It's a milestone this weekend in Chicago as it's the 25th anniversary of Harold Washington's election. He died of a glutinous breakfast according to the coroner. |
| 9:28
| There were rumors that when Washington was taken to the hospital he was wearing a bra and panties. Then that art student painted a portrait of Harold in a bra and panties. |
| 9:29
| There was an outcry of that and a "snatch it down" campaign when the painting was exhibited. Steve bought it but then gave it back because he was getting some grief. |
| 9:30
| That was just the rumor though. It's not something you hear when everyone dies though. Harold Washington wearing a bra and panties would not have affected Buzz's opinion of him though. Steve's wearing a bra and panties now, it's so freeing. |
| 9:31
| Pete has the "snatch it down" audio. Buzz remembers how incredulous he was when this was going on. He couldn't believe the city council would take the painting down and try to cut off funding to the school. |
| 9:32
| It's the city council though, they can do whatever they want. And they're an endless source of entertainment. |
| 9:33
| A woman is suing Petsmart saying that they were negligent in selling a diseased hamster to a customer. |
| 9:34
| The woman contracted a disease from the hamster and then died. Her organs were donated to several recipients and the plaintiffs husband died after a liver transplant. |
| 9:35
| Who would want a pet hamster anyway? It's a rodent! If Steve saw a hamster in his house he'd call an exterminator. Buzz's daughter is always lobbying for a pet but even she wouldn't want a hamster. |
| 9:36
| It sounds like Matt Dahl's dog Walter would fit in perfectly with the Kilman's. Every time Matt comes out to the house he has to bring the dog. Janet views it like a grandchild and she doesn't think Matt should leave it alone for too long. |
| 9:37
| But Matt leaves the dog in a cage for up to 12 hours when he's out partying or whatever. Buzz's guitar player, Matt Spiegel, is big into saving greyhounds. He brought one to the house thinking Piper would love it and she did. But at some point Buzz realized there was a dog in his house! And there are certain things in his house that can't be exposed to dogs. |
| 9:38
| Mike Dahl is buying a condo and there was a brief moment when he considered having Matt Dahl move in a rent a room from him. Then he realized Matt had the dog. He wanted to know if the dog would wear socks so as to not scratch up the hardwood floors. |
| 9:39
| At this point the dog has become an albatross. Matt is unsaleable because that dog will follow him everywhere. |
| 9:40
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:41
| Caller Mike has some info about greyhounds. They're very laidback, they sleep all day. It's like having a goldfish with hair. Was this some sort of rescue effort that a chick got him into? |
| 9:42
| Greyhounds are ugly dogs and they're losers. That's why they're in the position they're in, having to be rescued. |
| 9:43
| Matt's dog is the ugliest dog Steve has ever seen though. He liked it already when it was at his house for a week though. |
| 9:44
| But Matt admits freely on his podcast that he keeps the dog in a cage for up to 12 hours a day. That podcast can of course be heard on MattDahl.com |
| 9:45
| Matt and Brendan did 3 hours on B96 over the weekend. Steve told Matt he wasn't going to listen but he did. They love the wacky 2 man teams over there and it would be good for them to get into the CBS system. |
| 9:46
| Buzz would love a connection over at B96. He has one though, Todd Cavanah programs the station! Buzz was looking for someone on the air, in the trenches. |
| 9:52
| That is the girl from CNN, Karen something. She's on the CNN Morning News and she seems to have the same thing Steve does. Hopefully he didn't give it to her when they were making out. |
| 9:53
| Steve's been bugged by something all week so he apologizes for that. What it really does is mess up your timing. Turnabout is fairplay though, Steve will have to deal with Buzz next week. |
| 9:54
| In all of Buzz's years he can't remember Steve ever being this ill. It's never been like this where he can't talk and has to clear his throat all the time. He doesn't get sick all that often and he rarely misses work because of it. If he misses work it's usually something like food poisoning. |
| 9:55
| Steve does feel that being sick in the morning is easier than being sick in the afternoon. When you wake up you feel the least ill. His illness is sort of over though right now. He's been taking the Mucinex and popping up a lot of lung oysters. |
| 9:56
| Buzz is hoping he feels better tomorrow night because he has a Buzz Kilman Perfect Night planned. He's going to see Ron (of Bob and Ron) and his band at Subterranean. Right around the corner Little Arthur Duncan is playing. So he'll be ping-ponging back and forth. |
| 9:57
| Saturday is Mexican food night, will he do that solo? If he's feeling good he'll probably have a buddy go out with him, perhaps Chris Wood. He won't have to worry about driving either because he doesn't have the car. Normally he gets the car on the weekend to drunk drive though. |
| 9:58
| Buzz should come up to the office for Fajita Friday after the show. They've got a full tequila bar and sizzling fajitas prepared by Pete from his own special recipe. He was adopted by a family of Mexicans and has lived in the Little Village for 30 years. |
| 9:59
| It bugs Steve to be sick though. Buzz can't believe what he put up with this week to do the show, hopefully the listeners appreciate what he went through. |
| 10:00
| The thing Steve really hates about being sick is experimenting with over the counter medicine. Give him the pharmaceutical grade stuff, he can't be messing around with anything else. |
