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| 5:31
| Good morning everyone, live from Chicago's Prudential Plaza, it's the Steve Dahl Show! That was St. Elmo's Fire which also happens to be Buzz's favorite movie of all time. |
| 5:32
| It features Rob Lowe, who's probably having trouble finding a nanny these days. Or maybe not. There's probably a whole group of nannies who wouldn't mind being groped by him. |
| 5:33
| It seems like the current nanny didn't mind being groped, until it stopped at least. If Steve were going to fondle the nanny he'd first retain Gloria Allred on some unrelated matter. That way the nanny couldn't hire her because there'd be a conflict. |
| 5:34
| It seems like Gloria Allred is the only one taking on these cases. The nanny wouldn't know where else to turn once Gloria said she couldn't take the case. She'd probably just undo her blouse at that point. |
| 5:35
| When people get divorced they often make appointments with all the major divorce attorneys so their spouse can't retain them. Buzz saw that premise somewhere, maybe on a Law & Order episode. |
| 5:36
| It seems like Gloria Allred really enjoys getting on TV in a case like this. She seems to be the go to person for all wronged females in this country. |
| 5:37
| St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) was recorded by John Parr, from the movie soundtrack. Although it sounds like they're just ripping off Survivor. Maybe Jim Peterik co-wrote it. |
| 5:38
| The song peaked at number 6 in the UK in 1985. Mark always posts the UK charts because he knows Buzz often gets his news from there. Buzz has recently discovered all the great TV on the BBC. |
| 5:39
| You seem much smarter after watching something on the BBC, it must be the accent. Buzz has to admit that the scripts for their TV shows seem much better. Steve's not sure who we're dumbing things down for in the U.S. |
| 5:40
| Steve has never met anyone that dumb, except maybe at Wal-Mart. Although it is the largest retailer so maybe that's who we're dumbing things down for. Still though, maybe it doesn't have to be dumbed down that much. |
| 5:41
| Well best of luck to Rob Lowe and his...penis or whatever he used on her. The nanny is quite comely. She looks like a brunette Lindsay Lohan. You have to figure if you're a nanny at Rob Lowe's house something could happen. You have to just say no at the outset. |
| 5:42
| By the way the song St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) was written by David Foster for Canadian athlete Rick Hansen. Foster was a pretty big producer at one time. He used to have a water slide that went from his bedroom to a pool. |
| 5:43
| At the time the song was written Rick Hansen was going around the world in his wheelchair, with wings, to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries. In case people weren't aware of them. Hansen's journey was called the "Man in Motion Tour" |
| 5:44
| The song was used as a theme song in St. Elmo's Fire and became a number 1 hit around the world. It also briefly appeared in an episode of The Simpsons, "Sideshow Bob Roberts"; it's supposedly Lisa's favorite song. |
| 5:45
| Steve has no idea what that means even though he just read it. Buzz thought we had experts on staff for this kind of stuff. One of them is talking to Steve in his headphones. |
| 5:46
| Pete says the episode was called "Sideshow Bob Roberts" and there's a scene where Homer and Lisa are driving with the song. Do we have that? Can Pete find it if he's not too busy watching TV and drinking coffee. Pete's got his little Ozzie & Harriet kitchen over there with his percolator. Buzz thinks it would be great if he had a little table in there too that he could sit at. |
| 5:47
| There was some gambit running through here where a closet organize was going to come in and organize Pete's studio and then advertise. But once they came in there and started measuring things they broke down and cried because of the task ahead of them. There's no amount of advertising that could equal the amount of work you'd have to put into Pete's studio. |
| 5:48
| If someone did organize the studio we could get him a little table, it would be like a 60s sitcom with a wife and two little kids. Pete could come in everyday and take his suit off and put his sweater on. Then Jim would be boosting Adam up to the window to peer in. |
| 5:49
| Yesterday Adam came in to Steve's office and said he had to get snippy with some listeners. If Adam thinks it's snippy Steve can only imagine what was said. He said some listeners thought they knew more than he did. It was about the stream and why it's so intermittent. |
| 5:50
| CBS is very big about the streaming audio, they think it's the future. And everything was going fine until they partnered with AOL for the streaming. Now it doesn't work. |
| 5:51
| It seemed to be about then suggesting different ways for us to process the audio and stream it. We have no control over that but there's still no reason to be snippy. |
| 5:52
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. Does he have any examples of how snippy he was? Adam doesn't want to throw himself under the bus although he has no choice. |
| 5:55
| Steve has Adam's emails, they're not that snippy. We might have sensitized the young man. Buzz is sorry to hear that. Steve calls back to Adam's office. |
| 5:56
| The original email to a woman named Diane, subject "streaming", says that the guy Steve talked to yesterday was wrong. That guy was Adam. Steve talked to him earlier in the day and he said it was working. |
| 5:57
| It's the perfect blame circle with this streaming though because no one knows who to blame. Adam's theory is that our stream was down because we were having network issues in the building. We use that network to send the stream to New York. A couple of weeks ago when all the streaming was down it was a different issue. But now we're the only one with a weak stream. |
| 5:58
| Adam has noticed that the stream starts having trouble around 9 am, when everyone starts getting into work. Then everyone is getting online and we don't have enough bandwidth. That would be just like CBS to do that. |
| 5:57
| Diane thought Adam needed to listen to the stream off the CBS network. Adam responded that he was the guy Steve talked to and based on the info he had available to him, the stream was working. Since the stream is outsourced being on or off our network has no effect. |
| 5:58
| Diane responded that she couldn't believe someone responded to her email. It sounds like this could be the beginning of a love affair. Did Adam suggest that they get coffee sometime? It seems like this woman also knows computers. Maybe invite her over for a ride on the waterbed? |
| 5:59
| That email doesn't seem that snippy. When Steve forwards this stuff to Adam he's not saying it's his fault. Adam feels the listens pain though so he wants to fix the problem. |
| 6:00
| If it's any consolation Todd apologizes everyday for the problem. Then he tells Steve what kind of wine he had for dinner the previous night. How is Todd not fatter? He eats out every single night. He probably doesn't do carbs though. Steve works out everyday and he eats diet food and he's still fat. |
| 6:01
| Mark Czerniec, information guru, tells Steve that the Tempurpedic is the new nerd bed. It used to be the waterbed but now it's the Tempurpedic. Mark has one, Ed has one and Buzz has one. Buzz has had his for a while though. |
| 6:02
| Is Tempurpedic the one with the Sleep Number? If Buzz were sleeping on one side of the bed could Aimee jump up and down and not wake him up? |
| 6:03
| The Sleep Number is a different bed although it could be an air mattress for all Steve knows. On the Sleep Number each side of the bed has firmness adjuster. |
| 6:04
| Sleep Number is one of those live reads that are out there and they hire a firm that gets them onto radio stations. They keep talking about advertising on the show but only if Steve checks the bed out. He has checked it out, at O'Hare, but they don't believe him. He might get a free bed out of it though. |
| 6:05
| They might want to actually see Steve try out the mattress though. Sometimes you have to jump through unnecessary hoops for these things. Red Lobster comes to mind for Buzz. They wanted him to eat at Red Lobster every week and he had to eat with other radio guys in town. |
| 6:06
| Steve had a similar problem with Olive Garden. He refused to go with other radio people so it was just restaurant managers and that was fine. He also had a problem with Staples because he didn't check out one of their nearby stores fast enough. |
| 6:07
| It's an office supply store, Steve gets it. What does he need to see there? Steve was going to go to Staples but he missed it by one day so they canceled. |
| 6:08
| So some people make you jump through unnecessary hoops which just makes Steve want to mess things up. He doesn't want to be that way but not doing what other people tell him to and always wanting to push his way to the front are two traits that seem to have served him well. |
| 6:09
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's web poll "Would you buy Oprah's gently-used clothes?" 83% of the people said no which is encouraging to Buzz. Steve might buy her dirty underwear but only as a conversation starter. He could use her panties as an oven mit, they're made of Kevlar. Oprah's panties have to be bulletproof, her life is constantly at risk. |
| 6:10
| Today's web poll question is "Do you like Persian food?" Most Americans would scoff at the stereotype that we only eat hamburgers in this country. But if you look at the menus of Persian restaurants in the city you'd think most Iranians eat kebabs, hummus and baba ghanoush. Baba Ghanoush was a character Steve used to do, he was a spiritual advisor. |
| 6:11
| Azim and Goly (GOOOOOOOOOLLY!) Nassiri-Masouleh don't think there's anything wrong with those foods but most Iranians don't eat them everyday. Azim and Goly own Rogers Park's Masouleh restaurant. Pete! Rogers Park! Is Pete part of the Rogers Park Iranian community? |
| 6:12
| Pete has been there and it's good. It's also BYOB. Do they have a corking fee? Steve knows all about corking fees from Todd Cavanah who often goes to BYOB restaurants. Steve doesn't care if he's bringing a Petite Syrah to a restaurant, he only wants to hear about his girlfriend naked. |
| 6:13
| So Pete's been there and it's good, that's all he can say? What did he have? Pete actually had kebabs and hummus although he doesn't really like kebabs. Pete is such a great storyteller, he's like Mark Twain. |
| 6:14
| Why doesn't Pete like kebabs? Is he afraid he's going to poke the roof of his mouth with the stick or does he just not like meat in cubes? Pete would rather just have the meat off the stick. Steve also doesn't like having to take the meat off the stick since there usually isn't a handle. |
| 6:15
| The restaurant specializes in home-style Persian food that's mostly based on vegetables. That's probably because you can't find a good piece of beef over there. Azim learned to cook from a roommate in Paris while studying at the Sorbonne in the late 70s. |
| 6:16
| His studies were interrupted in the early 80s by the Iran-Iraq war. He needed documents from Iran to continue studying but if he had returned home he would have been drafted. Do we really need this much information about the guy? Steve doesn't need to know if he's a draft dodger, he just wants to know if the restaurant is any good. How many forks is it? |
| 6:17
| This article is from The Reader so they need to fill as much space as the can. The more space they fill the more futon ads they can put in there. |
| 6:18
| Goly had lived in France since 1976 when she landed a job at the Iranian embassy. She was fired after the Islamic revolution. She became friends and them roommates with Azim and they emigrated. |
| 6:19
| Goly and Azim have toyed with opening a restaurant for 20 years. No one has ever written this in-depth of an article about Steve, ever. |
| 6:20
| Last September the couple saw that a space once occupied by the Peruvian restaurant Cafe Salamera was available. Peruvian? Has Pete ever been there? |
| 6:21
| There's another Peruvian restaurant near Pete that he's been to, Taste of Peru. What do they serve at a Peruvian restaurant? Pete had a scrumptious paella. Rogers Park is getting a lot of great restaurants, Uncommon Ground just opened a location and they were highlighted in Chicago Magazine. |
| 6:22
| Pete noticed that the restaurant Steve just went to, Table 52, was in Chicago Magazine as well. All they do at that magazine is whore themselves out to lawyers who advertise and say they're the best lawyers and then a bunch of guys like Pete talking about their favorite restaurants. |
| 6:23
| Do we want to hear any more about these people? This is The Reader so there's a lot of information in here. Buzz thought this was from Chicago Magazine. |
| 6:24
| Chicago Magazine is the one with the Table 52 mention. The chef there asked Steve and his group where they were from. Where is he from? Is he new in town? |
| 6:25
| It wasn't a terrible restaurant but what does a Chicago Magazine mention even mean? They don't know what they're talking about half the time. Steve's dealt with some of their writers and they're stuck-up snob jerk kids like Pete. Only they're kids, Pete's in his 40s but he's like Peter Pan. |
| 6:26
| Pete, how do you respond to that? He doesn't even protest any more. He has no objections to what Steve said. Pete tries to act like he's a twentysomething. He does wear the tight shirts, he wants to be like Jim. Although Jim's a thirtysomething try to be like he's in his 20s. Or is he in his 20s? |
| 6:27
| Pete thought Jim was in his early 20s. Although Pete really is almost 40, he's 37. Steve calls down to the weather center. Jim is 28 so he's close to 30. Pretty soon these boys are going to have to switch to XL t-shirts. These boys need to learn some things about each other, they don't know how old they are. |
| 6:28
| Jim thought maybe Pete knew he was sensitive about his age so he went low on him. Cubdom is ageless though right? Everybody is a thirtysomething. Is Pete going Chet Coppock on us, trying to hide his age. |
| 6:33
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 6:34
| Steve was thinking during the break that Pete was sensitive about his age but maybe Jim is sensitive about his age. Because he said that maybe Pete said Jim was in his early 20s to cover for him. |
| 6:35
| Jim was just joking, he thought Pete said he was in his early 20s to lie about his age. So that's a slam on Pete then? He's saying Pete is the one who's sensitive about his age? Buzz had no idea there was such an age gap between Pete and Jim. Pete's closer in age to Steve than Jim. |
| 6:36
| Pete's got the girlfriend now so everything's going to change. He needs to start acting his age! When he flies to New York he has one of those tags on his shirt that says the flight attendant needs to help him. He's an unaccompanied minor but he's flying all by himself. |
| 6:37
| Does Buzz want to do some news? He was just checking out some of the women from the Texas sect, they have fantastic hair cuts. By the way, does Buzz want Pete to get him any Mallomars from New York? He's not going to put an order out but if he brought them back it would be a thoughtful gift. |
| 6:38
| Steve got an email that he'd like to read because it really bothered him. It's from someone who emails him way too much and thinks she knows him. |
| 6:39
| The woman who emailed Steve said that he didn't really have the flu because if he did it would knock him down. How hard was it for Steve to work last week? |
| 6:40
| Everyone thinks that the flu is the one where you're puking but it's usually a respiratory thing. Steve had the flu and the flu shot didn't cover it. |
| 6:41
| This woman is a former nurse and she has a home remedy that she recommends for clearing out the "loogies" What kind of email is this to get from a girl? |
| 6:42
| So Steve gets no credit for coming in last week? Maybe the flu shots cover the flu where you're puking too, someone could call in about that. |
| 6:43
| Steve's pretty much over it but he might take some more cough syrup anyway.The stuff he's been taking has a hint of codeine, although it's enough to get the job done. It's coconut orange flavor too, it could not be more delightful. |
| 6:44
| But Steve found that email very irritating. He never calls in sick does he? The only reason he wouldn't come in that Buzz could see if he's leaking from all orifices. Steve is used to doing a show everyday so he can work around the show and get it together. |
| 6:45
| After the show Steve collapses but that's the Sammy Davis Jr. in him. Hey man! Sprinkle it with dew! The Candy Man can. Steve misses Alan Keyes. |
| 6:46
| Alan Keyes is making news again according to Buzz. He keeps saying that but then never follows up. He's running for president but not around here. He dropped out of the Republican party and is running as an Independent. |
| 6:47
| He never came back to open an office like he promised. Buzz doesn't want to say he was a liar but he never did what he said. |
| 6:48
| Caller Jane has some flu information for Steve. When they plan out the flu shot they're trying to predict which strain will be the most common. So that's the shot they give you. There is a respiratory flu though and it's horrible. And kudos to Steve for coming into work. |
| 6:49
| What kind of nurse is Jane? She works in the maternity ward. Buzz is dilated to 7 sonameters! Steve was thinking of becoming an OB/GYN, can he intern with Jane? |
| 6:50
| So there are two kinds of flues this year and Steve's flu shot didn't cover the other one. He had the respiratory flu and no one will talk him out of it. |
| 6:51
| Steve was falling asleep mid-sentence in his office after the show. So he just wants a little credit for being sick and working. |
| 6:58
| Can Steve take one more call about him being sick? Notice he doesn't take them when he's sick, only after. He's got the ladies calling in too for the comfort. |
| 6:59
| Caller Diane is a longtime listener. Her son was diagnosed with the flu and it was so bad that he was in the hospital and quarantined through his contagious stage. |
| 7:00
| Of course he didn't mind because he had cute little nurses tending to him. He's better now and back to driving her nuts. |
| 7:01
| Steve took some wild rides on that Delsym stuff over the weekend though. He might have overindulged a bit but it's the most stoned he's been in a while. |
| 7:02
| You can see why the kids get into the cough syrup though. Some kids actually put the bottle on a string and spin it around to separate out the stuff that makes you crazy. Steve might experiment with that. |
| 7:03
| Can Steve talk about influenza for a bit more? Most people think it's just when stuff is coming out of both ends but it's not. |
| 7:04
| Steve's going to read through the symptoms. There's chills, fever, sore throat, muscle pains, headaches, coughing and discomfort. Steve had all of that. |
| 7:05
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 7:06
| News with Buzz |
| 7:07
| President Bush rolled out the welcome mat for Pope Benedict, who arrived in Washington yesterday. He said yesterday he was ashamed by the pedophile situation in the Catholic church. |
| 7:08
| Pope Benedict looked like a flight attendant when he was making that statement. |
| 7:09
| The Pope will say mass in the Washington Nationals new baseball stadium. Will he be using hot dogs as host or peanuts? Because you can bless anything. |
| 7:10
| The Pope as flight attendant is not going over well with Buzz it seems. Does he have any pointers? Is he uncomfortable when he brings up the altar boys? |
| 7:11
| Today at Virginia Tech campus leaders will read the names of all the victims of last year's shooting and a little about each person. |
| 7:12
| A man attending yesterday's Mets game at Shea Stadium died when he fell 10 stories from an escalator. The man was sliding down the escalator after the game and tipped over and fell. |
| 7:13
| The Supreme Court will hear arguments over whether capitol punishment should be used for anything other than murder. The case involves a Louisiana man who raped his 8-year-old stepdaughter. |
| 7:14
| A 14-year-old girl has been charged with attacking and student at an Arizona charter school with a folding chair. The victim was attacked because she called someone fat. The incident was taped and posted on MySpace. Is it still up? |
| 7:15
| John McCain, at Villanova for the Hardball campus tour, was asked about comments Barack Obama made about his grandmother. McCain praised Obama's speech on race. Another student asked him about HIllary Clinton and wanted to know if he'd have a shot with him after the event. |
| 7:16
| HIllary didn't finish the entire shot, nor did she chase it with a beer. Do we need to see all this though? |
| 7:17
| According to testimony in the Tony Rezko trial, presidential plans were in the works for Governor Blagojevich. He's going to get in trouble right? It seems like his name is coming up too much. |
| 7:18
| Keith Richards is once again admitting he snorted his dead father's ashes. Keith says he opened the container with the ashes and some of them blew out. Instead of sucking them up with a vacuum he wet his finger, put it up his nose and snorted. Then he spread the rest around a tree. |
| 7:19
| Buzz sent Steve an email with a like to Snopes about the painting elephants. Is that what they went to on the day they were talking about it? Steve thought that proved them both right. |
| 7:20
| It seems like the elephant can paint shapes but that they're also being guided by someone's hand. This thing Buzz sent is something different though. It does seem like Buzz is a little more right. |
| 7:28
| Alright a couple of things. FIrst of all Steve has video of that teen beating in Arizona. There's probably no profanity because it's from a CBS website. Steve has to say this TV station has a very poorly laid out website. |
| 7:29
| That girl got clocked by the chair. It didn't seem that bad though. |
| 7:30
| It seems like this event happened months ago but it's just now coming out? Probably because someone found the video. |
| 7:31
| The other thing Steve wanted to talk about was Peter Ueberroth. Steve has never liked that guy, even when he was commissioner of baseball. |
| 7:32
| Buzz cautions Steve to be careful here. He doesn't want the finger pointed at him if Chicago doesn't get the Olympics bid. |
| 7:33
| The guy is a jerk though. He's always put in charge of something using other people's money. Now he's in charge of the U.S.O.C. |
| 7:34
| Yesterday he punctured Chicago's balloon a little bit saying that Chicago is definitely not the top choice for host city of the 2016 Olympics. Look at where they're having it this summer! |
| 7:35
| Beijing is so polluted that some athletes can't compete, they've got 4-year-olds making tennis shoes over there, what else do we need to do to get the games?! |
| 7:36
| Ueberroth is head of the U.S.O.C., shouldn't he be a little more positive about Chicago? Phil Rogers was speculating that Ueberroth's comments were an attempt to motivate Chicago. We spent $46 million on the brochures, that seems like enough motivation for Steve. |
| 7:37
| Local support for the bid his at a high level but Ueberroth said the city's effort internationally still falls short of what we need to win. He was probably just unhappy with the hotel room he got when he was in town. |
| 7:38
| A Zogby International poll (that sounds fake)) indicates that 84% of those surveyed support a Chicago bid. |
| 7:39
| Several months ago Ueberroth rated Chicago no better than fourth or fifth among seven cities for the 2016 games. Who is this guy? He's a jerk! |
| 7:40
| He didn't elaborate much, because he's a jerk, but he did say Chicago is getting better. Given that this is our first attempt to land the Olympics we should be very proud of our effort so far. Could he be more patronizing? |
| 7:41
| The IOC will whittle the list of 7 down to an undetermined number in June and the official announcement will come in October of 2009. The IOC people probably just string these cities along so they can get free trips there. |
| 7:42
| How can anyone say anything bad about Chicago with Beijing looming on the horizon? Some athletes won't even be able to compete in the marathon because of pollution and that's one of the main Summer Olympics events, along with the bobsled. |
| 7:43
| Peter Ueberroth is just a jerk. What more can we do? They're trying to get Beijing to clean things up and meanwhile we're spending $40 million on the brochure, we've got the deep-dish pizza and the Italian beef, we've got a nice waterfront and we're going to build a nice stadium down near where we held the Columbian Exposition. |
| 7:44
| Chicago is the only U.S. city in the running right? So Ueberroth should be more positive with us. If Steve were Patrick Ryan or Mayor Daley he'd take Ueberroth out back and give him a beating until we're at the top of his list. |
| 7:45
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 7:52
| Alright Bob and Ron are here on a Wake and Bake Wednesday. They are woken and boken. Steve always asks this questions but have their dogs all been walked yet? |
| 7:53
| Bob and Ron walk dogs later in the day because people are just leaving for work now. If they showed up this early it would be more like an awkward break-in. |
| 7:54
| Bob and Ron don't even know their clients, just the dogs. They meet the owners once probably and then after that they never see then. That's probably better for all parties involved though. |
| 7:55
| Over the weekend Buzz went to a gig for the band Ron is in. He said the sound wasn't great but he thought Ron did some nice subtle things. Ron's band didn't bring their own sound equipment, that was from the bar. |
| 7:56
| Ron's band might be opening for The Lemonheads, who are apparently back together. Steve didn't even know they existed. Pete is shaking his head right now, does that mean he likes them? |
| 7:57
| Pete thinks Steve would know who they were, they had a big hit with a cover of Mrs. Robinson. What is a big hit to Pete? It was on the Billboard top 150, which is bigger than Steve thought it would be. |
| 7:58
| So what is Bob's side project then? He's still committed to walking dogs. Steve is still convinced that Ron and his band pay to be on stage. |
| 7:59
| Steve's looking up The Lemonheads on iTunes and he can't find Mrs. Robinson. Pete can't believe that, it's the first thing he sees. Actually Steve's just lying so he can make this whole thing go on longer and have less of a payoff. OK, Steve found it now and he does remember it. |
| 8:00
| Alright time for some rock history. This week is the birthday of Richie Blackmore who has a great guitarist name. He didn't have to change it either. It's like Brady Quinn, that's a great QB name. |
| 8:01
| It's also Skip Spence's birthday, he was in Moby Grape although his solo career wasn't great. It was one of the worst selling records in the history of Columbia Records. Bob and Ron still love it though. |
| 8:02
| It's also Mike Vickers birthday this week, he was in Manfred Mann. And speaking of Quinn, Bob and Ron's song today is The Mighty Quinn. |
| 8:03
| Song: The Mighty Quinn (Quinn the Eskimo), Manfred Mann |
| 8:05
| Caller Gary was hoping Steve could play his famous Jonathan Quinn song, a parody of The Mighty Quinn. That was a very dark period for Steve when he was taking the Bears QB du jour and writing a parody song about them. |
| 8:06
| Gary loved the songs but Steve thinks they sucked. But he would still get mad because no one would call in to request the songs. Does Pete have it handy? Let's hear some of it. |
| 8:07
| It doesn't seem that bad to Steve. Buzz thinks it would be great if Steve would just knock the key up a little bit. He had other ones for the other QBs, does Pete remember any of them? |
| 8:08
| At least Steve was ripping Jonathan Quinn. For some reason in his mind he thought he was embracing him. Pete also remembers I'm Chad, I'm Nationwide for Chad Hutchinson and Krenzel Logic for Craig Krenzel. Steve took them all out of his iTunes because he couldn't stand hearing them while running. It would come on his iPod and he had to slam his head into a tree. |
| 8:09
| Bob thinks that even if Steve isn't impressed with the quality he should be impressed with the quantity. Steve did one every week or two depending on when they changed the QB. He stopped short of doing one for Kyle Orton, a parody of Alice Cooper's Eighteen. |
| 8:10
| Pete also has I'm Chad, I'm Nationwide. Bob and Ron like the phasing on this one. He was going for the ZZ Top sound. |
| 8:11
| Pete also has The Safety Dance which he didn't remember at first. He sort of remembers the Bears winning a game on a safety. The good thing about Steve's parody songs is they tell you what you need to know. |
| 8:12
| Steve has Krenzel Logic, take 2, on his iTunes. It might be surprising that he had to do a second take. This one features a lot of keyboards. |
| 8:13
| What the hell was wrong with Steve? This might have been when he got the season tickets because he realized he was spending too much time in the house. Steve would get mad that no one called in to request the songs though, he was out there yelling at Brendan because no one called in to hear I'm Chad, I'm Nationwide. |
| 8:17
| That's Jonathan Quinn, he of the thousand mile should have used a better mic too, it was very muffled. Was he using a Fisher-Price My First MIcrophone? |
| 8:18
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:19
| This is the first live read where Buzz has heard mention of the Townstone Financial team. Steve has heard it before. It's a way for David to include his employees and then not have to give out raises. |
| 8:20
| Alright time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Wednesday which means it's time for Stories Outside the Bun, that's what we're calling it. |
| 8:21
| Today's emailer Vince and and his friend used to borrow the friend's dad's car, saying they needed it to go to the library. In reality they just used to joyride. One day the car overheated and they pulled into a Taco Bell. |
| 8:22
| As they were enjoying their food, trying to think of what to do they looked across the parking lot and saw an auto parts store. Un milagro? They got a new hose and antifreeze for the car, repaired it and his dad never knew. |
| 8:23
| The emailer and his friend are now all grown up and married and each live about a mile on either side of that Taco Bell. That Taco Bell is the center of their lives. |
| 8:24
| Live read: Joebees |
| 8:25
| Peanut Butter is also on hold, should we talk to him too? Joe's favorite peanut butter is Jif, it has the most sugar. He enjoys a good peanut butter and honey sandwich, especially when it's his own honey. |
| 8:26
| Does Pat want to see the stinger? He's never seen it right? Even if he doesn't want to see it Joe is forcing it on him. Steve is doubling down on the bee pollen. Ever since he started doing that he's felt better. |
| 8:27
| MIke Dahl gave Steve some advice from Dan Jiggetts about his cold. He said call in sick if you can. How is the Jiggler? He had a special yesterday about the NFLPA and he was also in breaking down the 2008 schedule. |
| 8:28
| Steve gets so many emails about the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song. People want to know what it is and where to get it. |
| 8:29
| Pat has the song on a constant loop in his head. They should play him onto Comcast with that song. |
| 8:30
| This emailer would never make it into work from Crystal Lake to Oak Brook without Steve and Buzz. In case Buzz forgot this is the person who they carry on their backs from Crystal Lake to Oak Brook everyday. They trade off every other mile. |
| 8:31
| The emailer hasn't heard Pat in a while and was wondering if he was mad at Steve. They just figured they'd cut back a little during the baseball season because there are so many games. No need for that much minutiae. Instead they'll do the minutiae every other day. |
| 8:32
| Caller Rich was listening to the Sox game on the radio yesterday. Can Steve just stop and say how awesome Ed and Steve Stone are together? It's like they can both see the future. |
| 8:33
| During the game Steve Stone mentioned that he saw Steve in his seats and tried to throw a shirt at him. Ed makes Steve throw shirts at him but he doesn't want them. |
| 8:34
| Stone has this look on his face like he doesn't know what he's supposed to do to get the shirt to him. And Steve only stands up and turns around because he doesn't want to get hit in the back of the head with a shirt. |
| 8:35
| Ed's crazy too, he won't stop making Stone throw the shirts at him. Last year Steve bruised his hip trying to get at a t-shirt even though it wasn't his size. |
| 8:36
| How about Joe Crede, could he throw around any more leather? Steve takes back everything he said about Crede. But not everything he said about Pablo Ozuna. He wants him off the team. |
| 8:37
| Caller Karen means no offense to Pat but without Steve he wouldn't know Pat because she doesn't do sports. Steve's the same way. |
| 8:38
| Karen has a 2-year-old and without fail every time that Peanut Butter Jelly Time song plays he goes up to the stereo and does a little dance. |
| 8:39
| Karen has tried to get a video of the dance but every time she brings the camera up he runs up to it. |
| 8:40
| Pat's wondering if Karen uses the song if her kid is having a meltdown. She tried to find it of it on YouTube but there are some weird versions where it's slowed down or sped up. That just confused him more. |
| 8:41
| Sometimes Karen uses Elmo to calm her son down. Steve has Pizza Elmo, would it confuse her son if she put him on and told him it was Elmo but them played the Peanut Butter song? |
| 8:49
| Steve was at the Sox game yesterday and although he brought a spring jacket he didn't need to wear it. It was very warm, the weather was fantastic. |
| 8:50
| The guys in front of him were going to the Cubs game later that night and both teams won so that was good. |
| 8:51
| Steve was at the game with Matt, it was his birthday. He got Matt's name on the scoreboard and it stayed up for about 5 minutes. It sort of made them uncomfortable actually. |
| 8:52
| John Danks was pitching on his 23rd birthday and he got his first win of the season. He said he didn't even have his best stuff but we'll take that. And Crede played some great defense yesterday. The first cut Pat has is Hawk with a call on one of those pays. Hawk really paints a picture doesn't he? |
| 8:53
| Did Pat happen to hear that conversation between Hawk and DJ the other day about bats? Hawk had a Louisville Slugger catalog and eventually it got into both of them talking about actual model numbers and bat prices. |
| 8:54
| Is that something Pete would have? It sort of got drawn out over a few innings but it would be good to have in the future. Then Hawk tried to lay the conversation off on a viewer, saying someone had emailed wanted to know the price of bats. |
| 8:55
| Dusty Baker was booed in his return to the Northside last night, as expected. That seems unnecessary. He did get to them to the NLCS although things did fall apart at the end. |
| 8:56
| Dusty was the first manager to lead the Cubs to consecutive winning seasons since the 70s. It doesn't seem like he should have been booed. Did he shield himself by throwing his kid out there? |
| 8:57
| Alfonso Soriano strained his calf in a bizarre way in the top of the first. He does a little hop when he makes a catch and apparently he came down on in bad and the trainers were helping him off the field. |
| 8:58
| No one knows how serious it is yet but he'll miss at least a few games. The wind was blowing out though and Derrek Lee had a huge home run. |
| 8:59
| Fortunately for football fans we won't have to listen to Bryant Gumbel doing games for the NFL Network. He called games as if he was too good to actually do play-by-play. |
| 9:00
| Steve's favorite Gumbel thing is on Real Sports, after the segment when he's talking to the report. Gumbel sits there taking notes although what is he taking notes on? |
| 9:01
| And speaking of Real Sports, Barack Obama was on the other night playing basketball with Bryant Gumbel. Mike Dahl has seem Barack hoop-it-up at East Bank Club and he's pretty good. Hopefully that makes up for his bowling. |
| 9:02
| So they were showing Barack in a pick-up game in North Carolina. It's funny to see how people guard him now that he's running for president. They really don't want to guard him because they're afraid of being shot by the Secret Service. Pat's still impressed with his basketball skills though. |
| 9:03
| Tigers Woods had knee surgery yesterday so he'll be out 4-6 weeks. Mary will be upset about that, she's a big fan. |
| 9:04
| This was a scheduled surgery, not something that just happened at The Masters. We didn't hear much about it over the weekend though. |
| 9:05
| Steve needs to join that club. It's pretty easy to get in right? Those guys are professional golfers and even they mess up. |
| 9:06
| Steve tried to take some golf lessons but the guy made them go to this lower part of the driving range that was full of mosquitoes. |
| 9:07
| This was after Steve stopped drinking and Spike Manton had them in the Chris Chelios charity golf tournament. So Steve's motivation was to not embarrass himself. |
| 9:08
| Pat has heard those outings are a real scene. There was one year where Steve was chased around by Bob Probert in a golf cart. |
| 9:09
| Steve had read a Sports Illustrated article about how Bob Probert, while he was still drinking, flipped his motorcycle in front of a gas station in Troy and landed on a little piece of Astroturf right in front. |
| 9:10
| When the police arrived he said "Charge me with the usual" which Steve thought was funny. Apparently Steve had asked him about that story the year before and Bob got mad at him and didn't want to talk about it. |
| 9:11
| Then he started swearing on the air and later he was chasing Steve around in a golf cart with another hockey player, holding a can of O'Doul's. |
| 9:18
| That's some good bat talk Pete came up with but there's some other stuff involving actual Louisville Slugger serial numbers. Steve knows that Pete's still looking, he doesn't mean to push him like a stage parent. |
| 9:19
| Chef Hans is here for Meat Talk. Steve couldn't help but notice that Hans is sitting there with a chicken. It's a dead chicken, not a live one. |
| 9:20
| Steve was told that last week he said he wanted to watch Hans carve a chicken. He doesn't remember saying that, was it on the air? Hans was talking about chicken and Steve told to just bring one in. |
| 9:21
| Hans has a chicken and he's going to debone it. There are instructions on the website. Which website? Just turn on your computer and it's there? |
| 9:22
| If you're not so quick with the knife you can use a spoon to peel the breast right off the bone. It sort of has a Silence of the Lambs feel to it. |
| 9:23
| Buzz is very curious today. He wants to see a master at work. Doesn't Buzz has another video of a Swiss gentleman boning a chicken? |
| 9:24
| We should make YouTube video of this. Buzz thinks he could debone a chicken just based on watching Hans do it. |
| 9:25
| Steve didn't think Hans would be bringing any chicken in but he could go for some. Does Buzz want a piece? |
| 9:26
| Steve handed the plate over to Buzz thinking he'd just grab a piece but he was trying to pull the entire thing from him. Hans brought a back-up chicken so he can have as much as he wants. |
| 9:27
| The Blackhawks alumni are organizing a golf outing for hemophilia or whatever it's called. Necrophilia? Steve is organizing an outing for necrophilia but he's having a hard time getting support. |
| 9:28
| The golf outing is for neuroblastoma which doesn't sound that bad when Hans says it. If Steve could golf he could go to this thing. How long does it take to learn to golf? A few weeks? |
| 9:29
| Some guy at the alumni dinner Steve went to was telling him about it but he couldn't follow him. He mentioned Indianapolis and Tony Dungy and Steve thought it was down in Indy. |
| 9:30
| The outing is held by a Colts player who lives in Illinois. Steve has his afternoons off, this is something he could go to. |
| 9:31
| Both baseball teams are doing well and spring his coming. Did Dusty come in after the game last night? Was he bummed out? |
| 9:32
| Dusty came in on Sunday to say hi and he might stop by today to say hello before the game. He was in a good mood but if he keeps losing he might not be. |
| 9:33
| Steve is surprised Dusty doesn't have Hans flavorize his toothpicks, he's like his personal chef isn't he? Hans has known Dusty since he was on-deck behind Hank Aaron when he hit his 715 home run. That's how long he's know him and he's a good guy. If Hans knows him he's probably a good guy. Everyone Hans knows is a good guy, except Steve. |
| 9:34
| Didn't Hans go fishing with Dusty Baker, right before a really bad Cubs losing streak? Their trip didn't coincide with the playoff collapse did it? |
| 9:35
| Steve has a bone to pick with Hans, although not specifically him. He was driving home the other day and he heard on The Score that they're doing a series of lunch broadcasts, including one with Ozzie. |
| 9:36
| That was a national PR campaign, Hans had nothing to do with it. Steve heard that the guy working for S & W on that idea told CBS sales people that there's no reason to buy ads on this show because they wouldn't buy the cow when they'd get the milk for free. |
| 9:37
| That guy actually has since been fired. Steve hopes he didn't have anything to do with that. |
| 9:38
| Steve hates PR people, they do nothing but generate ill-will. They take whatever power given to them by whoever hired them and use it for evil. |
| 9:39
| Steve is already missing hockey but the convention is coming up this summer. Plus Steve has baseball all this summer. He and Hans need to get to a Sox game one of these days. |
| 9:40
| Hans will go to a Sox game or a Cubs game, he goes both ways. At least with Hans Steve would have someone to talk to, unlike Pete. Steve's neck would be sore after that game. |
| 9:41
| Steve would go to a Cubs game with Hans though. After the Sox won the World Series Steve found it harder to hate the Cubs, it seems juvenile. |
| 9:42
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 9:50
| There's some more Hawk and DJ, Pete found them talking about the Louisville Slugger model numbers. The whole time you can hear the game being played in the background. |
| 9:51
| Steve loves Hawk and DJ though but it's not his fault they do stuff like that and he finds it funny. It's actually endearing when they do stuff like that. |
| 9:52
| Live read: Illinois Back Institute |
| 9:53
| Any news we need to know about? The Pope has delivered an address at the White House and greeted everyone. It's one of the largest events ever at the White House. |
| 9:54
| Bush is trying to siphon off some Catholics for the Republican party right? Because he's a born again and they don't believe in the Catholics. Bush is like Buzz, neither of them pick people up at the airport. Bush made an exception for The Pope though. Would Buzz do that? |
| 9:55
| The head of the psychiatric hospital in Baghdad has been released from U.S. custody. That has to be one full hospital. He was held on suspicious of giving information to terrorists. |
| 9:56
| Child protective services officials in Texas will be in court to keep children taken from a polygamist sect compound in custody. Did we ever find out if they have a beauty parlor on site where all the women get their similar haircuts from? |
| 9:57
| They didn't arrest the guys in the sect though, they're all still there. Imagine how lonely you'd be after losing all 7 wives. |
| 9:58
| There's a lot of animosity over the shooting of a wild cougar on the Northside on Monday. Police superintendent Jody Weis said that officers had to kill the animal. |
| 9:59
| That thing was corned in an alley but they had to kill it because it could have easily jumped over a fence. It was sad to see it lying their dead, they should have covered it up. |
| 10:00
| Keith Richards is doing a 180º and now tells Blender Magazine that he did snort his father's ashes. If there's anyone who would do that it's Keith Richards. |
