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| 5:31
| Now that's opening music right there Buzz. It has the Gershwin feel and that's what we're all about around here. |
| 5:32
| This music sort of sounds like the Gershwin song they use for American Airlines. What a scam that was, they got to use that song for free didn't they? They actually paid $1 million up front which isn't a lot. |
| 5:33
| Rhapsody in Blue isn't public domain yet? It seems old enough. A lot of the time on public TV they use classical music because you don't have to pay for the rights. Apparently the Beethoven's weren't paying attention and let all that go. |
| 5:34
| Steve had a hot dog at the Sox game last night that's still with him. Steve stopped at the buffet at the game but as he was leaving he told himself that he had a good day. Sure there was that Cinnabon but that was at 6:30 in the morning. |
| 5:35
| Buzz saw him eating that thing yesterday, what was he doing?! Steve doesn't care how bad it is for you, he's having another one today. |
| 5:36
| The Yankees are in town so U.S. Cellular was like a Howard Stern Convention. Steve needs to talk to the guy who has the seats in front of him about not selling them to Yankees fans. They all act like they own the place, like they're not just there for one game, which they are. |
| 5:37
| The guys in front of Steve were obnoxious but they were nice enough and that was the problem. If they're just obnoxious Steve has a plan. But that might just be how they are in New York. You have to be like that in New York. They yell at you if you don't order your sandwich properly. |
| 5:38
| Then the game didn't go well for the Sox and the Yankees hit a grand slam. One of the guys turned around to high-five Steve but then realized it wasn't going to happen and did a drunken pirouette. |
| 5:39
| Then Mike Dahl was there and he was breaking extremely bad because he knows the salaries of a lot of players working for Comcast. Then Steve had the hot dog, remembering that he had heard recently that eating one is like eating a stick of butter. |
| 5:40
| But it's hard to resist the hot dogs because the guy walks by with them all game. So there was the stress of the game and dealing with the Yankees fans and then Steve his this hot dog that's still with him. Steve shutdown his stomach today, he didn't even have coffee. |
| 5:41
| There were a lot of other obnoxious Yankees fans who probably weren't nice and got beaten up accordingly. Steve walked by the U.S. Cellular hoosgaw and it was full of Yankees fans. It looked like their lockerroom. |
| 5:42
| The guys in front of Steve were obnoxious but nice so he can only imagine what the other fans were like. And the Yankees are only a .500 team so far. Also, could Joe Girardi get some tighter pants? How can you play for a guy with pants that tight? |
| 5:43
| Steve's supposed to go to the game tomorrow but he needs to talk to the guy with tickets in front of him. He shouldn't be selling to Yankees fans, that's high treason. Steve and Mike were outnumbered. |
| 5:44
| There were some Sox fans in the row with Steve and Mike but they were less than enthusiastic. The Sox weren't helping and then the Cubs just beat the hell out of the Mets. The Cubs are ridiculous lately, they're just pulling guys out of the stands and they're hitting home runs. |
| 5:45
| That's fine though, Steve has a lot of friends who are Cubs fans and there are listeners who are fans so why would he want to see them suffer any more? Are Mets fans as obnoxious as Yankees fans? Steve thinks they're not, Yankees fans are a special breed. Would you ever go to another town and wear the colors of your team? |
| 5:46
| Steve didn't know what to do with these guys in front of him who were nice but obnoxious. Plus the jail was full anyway. A lot of people wear the colors when they go out but Steve doesn't even wear Sox stuff when he's at a game. The colors are for the players. |
| 5:47
| Pete goes on Cubs road trips and he would never wear team colors. Steve calls down to the newsroom. Pete does think that Mets fans are very obnoxious and Jim agrees. Have they seen Yankees fans? They were playing the Cubs a few years ago and everyone made a big deal about it. |
| 5:48
| Jim has never seen Yankees fans so he can't really compare them to Mets fans but he was at the Cubs game on Monday and they were obnoxious. They were starting chants that Jim assumes they do at Shea Stadium. That's what was irritating Steve, the Yankees fans treated it like it was their own stadium. |
| 5:49
| If they're nice to you and they applaud when anyone did something good you can't really get on the guys. Steve's talking to the guy who has those seats in front of him though, that's just not right. He's going to call him a whore when he calls him today. |
| 5:50
| Steve wishes he didn't know that thing about a hot dog equaling a stick of butter though. He's still tasting that hot dog although not the mustard. |
| 5:55
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 5:56
| Caller Joe loves listening in the mornings. Last night at the game some woman pulled Steve aside because she had a bone to pick with him. |
| 5:57
| She wanted to know when Steve was going to be back on in afternoons. Probably never but really Steve's just trying to go to the bathroom. |
| 5:58
| Joe's a truck driver and he listens all morning. Atta boy! Steve has noticed truck drivers getting crazier lately, is it because it's spring? |
| 5:59
| There's a lumber yard by Steve and there are always trucks lined up to unload. The other day a truck driver just decided to get out of line because he didn't feel like waiting, so he cut a u-turn right in the street without stopping to look if any cars were coming. |
| 6:00
| This morning Steve saw a guy hauling sod and he decided he didn't want to stop when the light turned red so he blew right through it. |
| 6:01
| Joe is recommending a little baking soda and water to get rid of Steve's hot dog illness. How much is a little bit? Probably a teaspoon and then a mouthful of water. |
| 6:02
| Joe's an overeater and he likes to have a hot dog and some chips before bed. Those hot dogs are a killer if they hit you the wrong way. Same goes for hot wings. |
| 6:03
| Steve calls up to the office. Stephanie was the one who told him about the hot dog equaling a stick of butter. Do we have any baking soda up there because Steve needs to get his stomach in shape for that Cinnabon. It's a nutritional nightmare! |
| 6:04
| Stephanie wears her team colors when she's out of town. She's actually only been to one Bears game, in New England, two years ago. She was going to go last year but it didn't happen. So it's a tradition that fell apart right away? |
| 6:05
| Stephanie might go to Atlanta this year. Steve would suggest warm weather trips plus Atlanta has the great dogfighting. Stephanie does wear her team colors but she's a troublemaker. It's also not as bad when girls do it, especially if you have nice hooters. |
| 6:06
| Even though Steve knew that a hot dog equaled a stick of butter he wasn't deterred from eating the hot dog. Stephanie has had a hot dog since learning of that too. |
| 6:07
| Caller Mike has heard that the hot dogs served before the 4th inning are from the game before. That doesn't sound good, Steve might be off hot dogs. |
| 6:08
| The ones at the Sox games are those huge David Berg dogs too. If you're at a hot dog stand it's a smaller dog and there's a salad on top. |
| 6:09
| Mike wears his team colors whenever he's out of town, Bears, Sox and Blackhawks. Steve did see a lot of Sox jerseys in Tampa over the weekend but it was probably all Sox fans down there. |
| 6:10
| Mike wears his colors in hostile territory, like his Hawks jersey in Detroit. It's a good feeling though. They're not that tough in Detroit anyway. |
| 6:11
| Steve was at a Tigers game in Detroit and he got a backrub from a lesbian! It's too bad he was there with some in-laws. Then the lesbians girlfriend actually got jealous and made them leave. It was awesome though. When she left Steve was brokenhearted, he followed them up the concourse. |
| 6:12
| Steve can see how people would want to wear their team colors if they're out of town. He doesn't wear the colors ever though but if you're into it it's different. |
| 6:13
| Buzz used to go to fights with a guy who was the loudest sports fan ever. Normally he's just a regular, quiet guy but at the fights he knows his voice is the loudest and will carry over everyone else's. Buzz usually had to move away from him. |
| 6:14
| From time to time Steve feels the need to yell something profane at a White ox player. He wanted to give it to Octavio Dotel last night after he gave up the grand slam but there was a kid there. Sure the kid was irritating as hell but Steve still didn't yell. |
| 6:15
| Where Steve is the food is all-inclusive so if you want a hot dog they'll just throw you one. This kid was outside his section but he kept trying to get someone to throw him one anyway, yelling in Steve's ear all night long. |
| 6:16
| What can Steve do though, he was just a kid. He might have got the hot dog just to rub it in the kids face though, now that he thinks about it. |
| 6:22
| According to USDA figures one stick of butter contains 800 calories all from fat while a hot dog contains 148 calories. But Stephanie is walking around saying otherwise. |
| 6:23
| Buzz is very glad to know that information though. It almost seems like hot dogs are healthy. Buzz might consider an all-hot dog diet. |
| 6:24
| Live read: Illinois Back Institute |
| 6:25
| Caller Mike moved here 7 years ago from Texas. He catches a lot of games when the Astros come to town and he wears his jersey. No one ever gives him a hard time but that's because it's Houston and we don't care. That's not even a real town. |
| 6:26
| Caller Mike is over by Elmwood Park. Actually he's in Homewood but the call screener says Elmwood Park. Brendan needs to get his ears checked and Steve will go with him. |
| 6:27
| They need to have a clinic where you can just go and get your ears cleaned. Steve doesn't want to have to deal with finding a doctor, he just wants to go to a clinic and have his ears cleaned by a hot topless nurse. |
| 6:28
| Yesterday in Richard Roeper's column he mentioned Steve and Howard Stern not being in the NAB Hall of Fame. Richard equated that to Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris not being in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Mike matched Steve's name with Mickey Mantle based on the order he mentioned them. |
| 6:29
| Buzz finds it funny that Steve would rather be aligned with Mickey than Roger even though Roger has the stats. Mickey is much cooler though and he was there first. |
| 6:30
| Alright time for the web poll, brought to you by Four Winds Casino in New Buffalo. Steve's considering that his home casino. |
| 6:31
| Yesterday's web poll was "Do you take advantage of a hotel's laundry service?" 83% of the people said yes. That's one of Steve's tips, use the hotel laundry. |
| 6:32
| There's a very troubling photo on Dahl.com for today's web poll. It's a man naked with his hands cupped around his privates. Where does someone get a photo like that? Steve hopes it's not from someone's personal collection. |
| 6:33
| When did Dahl.com go gay? Did Steve miss that memo? Today's web poll question is "Can witchcraft make you impotent?" How about a photo of a witch instead of a photo of a guy with his hands covering his weiner? Steve had a bag hot dog last night, he doesn't need any reminders. |
| 6:34
| And now the corresponding article "Lynchings in Congo as Penis Theft Panic Hits Capital". Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises. |
| 6:35
| Buzz is wondering if Steve would rather have it stolen or shrunk. No one would believe the shrinkage story so probably a theft. Reports of penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa which is why Steve and Buzz don't vacation there. How do you lock that up in the room safe? |
| 6:36
| Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, the country's capital. Purported victims claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear. In some cases there was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure. At that point you'd probably pay whatever it cost to get it back. |
| 6:37
| That's troubling news out of the Congo. That can't really be true although people think it's true. Who would want to go to a place where people think it's true though? No wonder they can't get it together as a civilization. |
| 6:44
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:45
| Alright time for a Mailbag. Steve has this letter that he wants to read second, he's not prepared to do this quite yet. A lot of people did email Steve yesterday to tell him that that shaving tip worked. |
| 6:46
| Buzz actually tried it today and it did seem to work. Actually a chemist emailed Steve to tell him why it works. When the blade is cold it contracts making it sharper. Steve hasn't shaved since hearing the tip but Buzz feels he'll notice a difference. |
| 6:47
| The first emailer feels that Steve's show has not been full since he dumped Wendy Snyder. Does he mean back in December of 2006? Steve just this email yesterday, at 10:21 pm. Steve can only assume the guy was drinking. |
| 6:48
| The emailer feels that even the Joy 2000 could fill in the gaps as a third person. Steve can't go back that far, that's like 8 years. The show needs a third person and usually when Steve talks to Pete he fills that gap. |
| 6:49
| Buzz doesn't think adding Pete to the show will boos the energy. Even Pete wouldn't endorse being the third person on the show. Steve talked to him yesterday on the air and he fell asleep waiting for Pete to stammer out what he was trying to say. |
| 6:50
| The emailer feels that Steve relies too heavily on listener contributions which really aren't that interesting anyway. |
| 6:51
| The next emailer is just trying to help, he discovered the show about 2 months before Wendy left. What's with all the Wendy references? He's an avid listener who supports Steve's advertisers like Townstone and Taco Bell. |
| 6:52
| When he misses the live show he catches up on the show with the podcast which is why he's emailing. He said that during Steve's passionate response to the Jim Belushi-narrated WGN special Steve said "you can show all the f'ing games you want..." |
| 6:53
| The guy was just trying to help but Steve did not say that. If he had, someone would have noticed. Steve had to check with everyone just to make sure before he read the email. |
| 6:54
| Steve has the audio from Monday that he can play now just to prove it. He said "bucket games" as in Bozo Buckets. Buzz remembers when Steve said that and he got a slight chill. |
| 6:55
| Steve appreciates the guy looking out for him but we have a series of checks and balances to make sure it doesn't happen. Steve has had to dump himself in the past though but that's why he has that button right in front of him. |
| 6:56
| Steve's pretty sure Buzz has a dump button in front of him too. He's not seeing it anywhere on his console. Oh wait, there it is. Buzz is so aware of his surroundings, he's like a cougar. |
| 6:57
| The worst thing Steve can remember doing on the air was at a Breakfast Club broadcast. He was playing Ayatollah for the first time, live and in his passionate hate for the Ayatollah he dropped an s-bomb. |
| 6:58
| The crowd loved it of course but it was something Steve couldn't take back. Luckily he escaped unscathed. |
| 6:59
| Tyrone's checking in with some traffic. He is very warm right now, he's got the doors off the choptater. |
| 7:00
| There are problems on the Edens but they're not even reporting that any more. There have been a lot of problems on I-55 near Bolingbrook lately. Today two trucks hit each other. |
| 7:01
| Trucks are crazy lately and Tyrone doesn't know what it is. It's like when rams get fur on their horns and start butting into each other. |
| 7:02
| Tyrone is hearing something from another studio. That's The Nadas reverb in Pete's studio. They're singin' like women! |
| 7:03
| Tyrone's on his way down to Indiana to fly Barack Obama around. He needs to win Indiana and it'll be tough since that's where the Klan was invented. |
| 7:04
| Steve's going to close up the Mailbag here just to make it official. |
| 7:05
| News with Buzz |
| 7:06
| Hillary Clinton chalked up a victory in Pennsylvania yesterday despite being massively outspent by Barack Obama. |
| 7:07
| George Bush is now the most unpopular President in the 70 year history of the Gallup Poll. |
| 7:08
| Can we interrupt the news so Steve can take his baking soda? He has an upset stomach from a combination of a hot dog, a White Sox loss and obnoxious Yankees fans sitting in front of him. They were nice enough so that Steve couldn't put a destructive plan into place. |
| 7:09
| So Steve is supposed to take a teaspoon of baking soda, does he just put it in his mouth? It looks like he should snort it. The guy said for Steve to put it in his mouth and then drink some water but that seems like a trick. What if Steve's tongue got burned? We're not going to make any money on that. |
| 7:10
| Steve put the baking soda in the water and then drank it. It's very salty though, did Buzz know it was so salty? It's a good thing Steve didn't put it on his tongue but it might have been good to snort. |
| 7:11
| Costco has seen an unusual demand in flour and sugar as people worry about global warming. It's that damn ethanol fuel, it's making everything more expensive. |
| 7:12
| Hours after his appearance on Larry King Live Tony Snow became ill and had to be hospitalized. Seeing Larry probably made him ill. |
| 7:13
| An 18-year-old straight A student from Chesterfield, South Carolina, was charged yesterday with attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. He had planned to stage a suicide bombing at his school. |
| 7:14
| A group of Chinese lawyers are suing CNN over comments made by Jack Cafferty. The Beijing-backed Wen Wei Po (we have no money) said the court had yet to accept the case. What jurisdiction do they have over CNN or Jack Cafferty? |
| 7:15
| Steve read recently that a lot of ingredients for pharmaceuticals are made in China. That's not good news after that whole Heperin thing. The FDA isn't checking anything in China. |
| 7:16
| From our Bureau of Irony, a trainer at Predators in Action in Big Bear, California was killed by a bear. |
| 7:17
| A man fishing near the Stickney Water Reclamation Plant claims to have seen a large cat and also took pictures of paw print. Who would fish in that area? What are you going to find in that water? |
| 7:18
| A New York hospital did nothing wrong when they gave a construction worker who was hit in the head a rectal exam. That's according to a jury who awarded the man nothing. |
| 7:20
| The man's lawyer believed that the exam was retaliation after his client accidentally hit his doctor. That assault charge was dropped by a judge. If someone hit Steve he wouldn't get back at them with a rectal exam. |
| 7:26
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 7:27
| Mother's Day is a week from Sunday, which Buzz was shocked to hear yesterday. It's not too late though Buzz! |
| 7:28
| Steve feels that the baking soda was not a good idea because he wants to hurl. Maybe he just needs to give it a little more time? Steve got hold of a hot dog he didn't need to eat last night. Sometimes those things hit you the wrong way, plus there was the tension of the Sox sucking, the obnoxious but nice Yankees fans and the irritating kid to his left who kept shouting that he wanted a hot dog. |
| 7:29
| Caller Kerry wanted to let Steve know that Mother's Day is 2 weeks from Sunday, not 1 week. So Buzz has even more time but he could still call Pro Flowers and get the early-bird special. |
| 7:30
| Next Sunday will be the 4th and then Mother's Day would be the 11th. This Sunday is the 27th. Steve's a real genius. |
| 7:31
| The Nadas were here and they were ready to go but then they unreadied themselves so Steve might take some phone calls. |
| 7:32
| The Nadas have spent the morning complaining about how early it is. They're preaching to the choir. This is nothing for Steve and Buzz, they were up at 4 am. |
| 7:33
| If Steve were The Nadas he would have been up all night doing blow and getting prostitutes. |
| 7:34
| The Nadas are ready now but they might need instructions on how to be musicians. They're from Iowa, they were probably up all night eating corn dogs. |
| 7:35
| The Nadas were at Schubas' last night and things went swell. It was packed like it was a Thursday. |
| 7:36
| The Nadas also have a new album out called The Ghost in the Hallway. Or is it The Ghost in the Machine? Ghost and Mrs. Muir? It's The Ghosts Inside These Halls. Couldn't they come up with a shorter name? How about Stink Monkey. |
| 7:37
| It was about this time last year that Steve was heading out to Des Moines to rehearse with The Nadas for The Dahlfins shows. Steve actually had fun in Des Moines but they need to move it closer. |
| 7:38
| Once Steve hits the Mississippi there's still 2 hours left. Can't they move it to Davenport? |
| 7:39
| After today the band heads to Virginia. They've got the tour bus which everyone takes turns driving. Steve would not be able to get any sleep if he knew a musician was driving the bus. |
| 7:40
| Jason does his worst when he drives so that he doesn't have to do it very often. Steve's familiar with that concept, you ruin a load of whites, you scorch a shirt and pretty soon you don't have to do laundry. |
| 7:41
| They've been keeping an updated driver's log on the bus too and everyone does their 3 hours. That's just one less charge for when the cops pull them over. They'll already have possession and transporting minor girls over state lines. |
| 7:42
| The girls weren't minors in Iowa though, Mike and Jason belong to that polygamist sect anyway. Steve learned something else about the hair that those women have. In addition to being closer to God they're keeping their hair long so they can wash the J-Bird's feet when he finally comes back. |
| 7:43
| And they keep those women funky-looking and in granny dresses so there's no jealousy. Of course if they all look the same then everyone knows what they look like under the granny dresses. |
| 7:44
| The Nadas are going to do a tune but they also have it set-up so Steve can come in too. If The Nadas want to do some gigs this summer Steve will get something lined up. How about an outdoor show? |
| 7:45
| The Nadas perform James. |
| 7:48
| Who's James? It's actually Jamie, a girl. Steve thought they'd switched over to dudes. It does seem easier, they get right down to it. Plus you instantly double your wardrobe. |
| 7:54
| The Nadas are here and they're going to do another tune and then Steve will do Margarita with them. Although in the mini-rehearsal Steve couldn't remember how to play it and Mike had to show him. He had the words but couldn't remember the chords. He could go poetry slam on it. |
| 7:55
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:56
| It's a little premature but Steve is going to go with the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell right now. It's Wednesday which means it's time for Stories Outside the Bun. |
| 7:57
| Today we have our first winner of a taco a day for a year. That's how we roll in the big city boys. If you'd like to win send your Taco Bell stories or adventures, along with the location of the restaurant, to Tacos@dahl.com |
| 7:58
| Gwen Laws, who's somewhere in the 8-4-7, is today's winner. Gwen's story starts on her wedding day, May 17th, 2003. While heading to the reception on a party bus the wedding party stopped at Taco Bell. |
| 7:59
| Gwen and her bridesmaids went in and ordered food for everyone. She also included pics of her and her bridesmaids. Steve has shown these photos to Buzz in previous segment. |
| 8:00
| We still have two more certificates to give away which Steve and Buzz will do over the next few weeks. |
| 8:01
| Alright The Nadas, of Des Moines, Wisconsin are here. Did Steve just say Wisconsin? Iowa and Wisconsin are the same for all intents and purposes though. |
| 8:02
| The Nadas have a new album called The Ghost in the Hallway. Isn't that what it's called? It's The Ghosts Inside These Halls. When did Mike and Jason decide they were Shakespeare? That's like a whole song lyric. |
| 8:03
| Actually on iTunes it said There Are Ghosts Inside These Halls because they filled the iTunes info sheet out incorrectly. Mike and Jason run their own record label so they screwed themselves over. |
| 8:04
| Mike and Jason are going to do a song called Blue Lights. Is it about K-Mart? They were hoping to sell it to K-Mart for their ads or change it to Blue Plates and sell it to a dinner. |
| 8:05
| The song is actually about the runway lights at the Des Moines International Airport. That's what the sign says but they're not sure where it flies. They might just have a weekly flight to Canada. |
| 8:06
| The Nadas perform Blue Lights. |
| 8:09
| Steve and The Nadas perform Margarita. It was a show stopper but usually it was Steve stopping the song because he forgot the chords. |
| 8:12
| Steve and Jason just gazed into each other's eyes and fell back in love, Mike felt left out and then the song got screwed up. Pete can edit all this out when we play it on the air right? We're not live are we? Steve also finds it disconcerting that Pete is bopping his head but not in time with this song. He might be listening to his iPod. |
| 8:13
| Steve, Mike and Jason finish off the song. |
| 8:14
| That was close enough right? This is probably why they don't get gigs any more. |
| 8:20
| Live read: Joebees |
| 8:21
| Joe Bee wants to know where "Right on Buzz" came from. Buzz is called Buzz because he has a striped thorax but "Right on Buzz" just sort of happened. |
| 8:22
| Steve's still doubling-down on the bee pollen. Whatever crud he still has might have killed Cameron Diaz's father. But here Steve is walking around. |
| 8:23
| Did Steve just cough or was that a Bob and Ron cough? Pete? Anyone? Are we trying to cover that up over there? |
| 8:24
| Buzz thought it was amazing that Steve was coughing and talking at the same time. He's like a ventriloquist. Bob coughs so often that Ron doesn't even notice any more. |
| 8:25
| Joe has some flowers to pollinate so he needs to get out of here. Does Buzz watch NBC 5? That Brant Miller is such a hack. Yesterday he was talking about some pansies that were planted in the plaza. Joe doesn't want to hear a guy talking about pansies. |
| 8:26
| Then he asks for a tight shot of the pansies like he's a TV director. Then Bruce Wolf, who feels he's one of the smartest men on the planet, said the stopped to smell the pansies. You can't smell pansies, they emit no odor. |
| 8:27
| Alright it is time now for Bob and Ron's Record Club, brought to us by no one as it should be. |
| 8:28
| Steve felt bad for Bob and Ron before they came on. He was leaving the studio where he'd just played with The Nadas and he sees them. That's the last thing he needs! |
| 8:29
| For all of your dogwalking needs call Bob and Ron. Do they ever reject a dog? Sometimes if Bob doesn't like the dog he quotes them a high price. If they're willing to pay it then he does it. |
| 8:30
| You have to do the doggie meet-and-greet beforehand though otherwise you could get attacked. It's happened to Bob before. |
| 8:31
| The other day Steve was out doing cardio in his neighborhood. He's going to call it cardio now becuase he walks and runs. Steve does his cardio and walks around the neighborhood like it's his kingdom. |
| 8:32
| There's a dog on Steve's MILF route that always barks at him but it's an excited bark. So Steve decided this week to befriend the dog. He put his hand out and crouched down and the dog was afraid of him but then it rolled over and he was in. |
| 8:33
| There are a couple of other dogs behind electric fences and they run up and down and bark but it's not friendly. Steve has decided to befriend those dogs, one at a time but he was going to ask Bob and Ron the best way to do that. Ron suggests a pocket full of treats, they'll remember that and his smell. Steve's goal is to have no dogs bark at him unless they're excited to see him. |
| 8:34
| A lot of the dogs have the electric collars on which makes them weird. They think you can't cross into the lawn and when you do they freak out. |
| 8:35
| Steve could sort of see how Bob and Ron could have an enjoyable job. It's like you have 15 dogs but you get paid to have them. Plus maybe sometimes you get a dog owner who you see naked. |
| 8:36
| That actually did happen to Ron once. Normally he likes to get a text or call that the owner will be home but in this case he didn't. |
| 8:37
| Ron didn't see the owner when he picked the dog up but when he dropped it off the female owner came out of the bathroom with her robe on but it was open. They stood there for what felt like 20 seconds. |
| 8:38
| Ron didn't know what to do so he just stood there. It sounds like he let a golden opportunity pass him by. |
| 8:39
| Alright time for some rock history. It's Peter Frampton's birthday this week. Before he came alive he was in Humble Pie. |
| 8:40
| Also celebrating birthdays this week are the rhythm section of CCR and Iggy Pop. |
| 8:41
| Song: Lust for Life, Iggy Pop |
| 8:45
| If you go to U.S. Cellular that song plays when Jim Thome comes up to bat. It makes Steve want to take a cruise but only on a ship with a climbing wall. |
| 8:46
| A dogwalker was killed in a popular San Francisco park after a tree branch fell on him. |
| 8:47
| Someone emailed Steve and said her brother owns Walker Brothers Pancakes. They have a Wake and Bake pancake and there was some talk about sponsorship. |
| 8:48
| Sponsorship would be great but Bob and Ron would settle for free pancakes. Steve's not sure if they want to sponsor Bob and Ron though. |
| 8:49
| There's a movie coming out called The Dogwalker which Bob and Ron are not familiar with. Are they plugged into the pop culture scene at all? |
| 8:50
| Steve's going to play the trailer as soon as it stops buffering. There's a woman lying on her back smoking. Then she's walking down what looks like Mulholland Drive with a bottle. |
| 8:51
| Steve has no idea what this movie it is, it looks like some sort of lesbian dogwalking movie. Steve has no idea what this movie is about. |
| 8:52
| Are there any known actors in this movie? Bob thought he heard Eileen Brennan. Eileen Brennan?! |
| 8:53
| Bob would rather see a lighter, funnier movie about dogwalking. Steve will write it with them but he'd need some of the pot. |
| 8:54
| Alright Steve has a plot summary for this movie. The L.A. dogwalking scene provides a backdrop for the story of Ellie, damaged goods on the run from her latest abusive boyfriend. That's just like Bob and Ron. |
| 8:55
| She's helped along in that process by Betsy Wright, a misanthropic dogwalker. What does misanthropic mean? Buzz thought it meant old but Bob was thinking it was a ne'er-do-well. OK, let's just throw out random definitions now. |
| 8:56
| Pete says it's someone who's depressed and hates life. So it's someone like Pete? A misanthrope is a person who dislikes life and avoids human society. So once again, like Pete. He clammed up because Steve was right on the money. It's like Jarts and Steve is way inside the ring. |
| 8:57
| A misanthrope and damaged goods, that sounds like a great team to be walking your dog. Bob and Ron just walk the dogs, this just sounds dangerous. |
| 8:58
| The most exciting dogwalking thing to happen around here was when that van with the dogwalkers was stolen. Then Seamus the dog went missing, he's a local legend. |
| 9:04
| Caller Megan's brother owns Walker Brothers and he was going to send pancakes over today but he forgot and is sending them tomorrow. |
| 9:05
| They're the Wake and Bake apple pancakes and you can take them home and heat them up. Megan should talk to her brother about sponsoring the segment though. |
| 9:06
| Megan's brother is a co-owner of some of the newer Walker Brother Pancake houses in the suburbs. Do they have a bacon waffle out there? Megan could have him make one. |
| 9:07
| Steve's been by the Lincolnshire restaurant, it looks really nice. It's always dinner when he drives by though. |
| 9:08
| They do have a crisp bacon waffle on the menu. If only Steve was allowed on the North Shore he could have one. |
| 9:09
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time with Pat Boyle. Does Walker Brothers have a peanut butter and jelly crepe or something? |
| 9:10
| If they don't maybe they could make one and we could tie the whole show to that place. They could do a show from booth #7. |
| 9:11
| Steve was at the Sox game last night, seated behind some Yankees fans. Steve's going to call the guy who has the seats and yell at him for whoring his seats out to Yankees fans. |
| 9:12
| The guys were obnoxious because they're from New York but they were nice enough. Still they acted like they owned the place. Yankees fans are empowered like that they think every stadium is theirs. |
| 9:13
| The jail at U.S. Cellular was teeming with Yankees fans though. The park wasn't full though which was also irritating. How can the first place Sox not sell out when they're playing the Yankees on a beautiful night. And this is coming off the Cubs just handing it to the Mets. |
| 9:14
| Steve also might have had a hot dog that didn't sit well with him. Buzz will be happy to know that the baking soda and water did seem to work but it tasted god-awful. |
| 9:15
| The bullpen probably didn't help Steve's stomach problems. They paid $5 million for Dotel?! Why didn't they just bring in Linebrink? |
| 9:16
| it was a really long game too, over 4 hours. Steve left at 10 and was home by 10:30. At least at the Hawks games Steve had a pretty good idea that the 3rd period would be about 20 minutes long. |
| 9:17
| The Yankees are still in town it's Vazquez against Mussina. The Cubs are in Colorado tonight going for their 10,000 franchise win. They're also off to their best start since 1975. |
| 9:18
| The Joliet Jackhammers have made an offer to Frank Thomas. In addition to the weekly salary he'll also get his own seat on the team charter bus and his own hotel room. |
| 9:19
| Someone will pick him up though since they only have to pay the league minimum. That guy has so much God-given talent and he screwed it all up with his stupidity. |
| 9:20
| Jerry Angelo won't back down on contract renegotiations with Brian Urlacher. They have offered him an $18 million extension with $5 million in guaranteed money. |
| 9:21
| Michael Jordan played for $3 million a year over 6 to 8 years when he was here and that's way under his value. He knew that the team and the city were really tied into his image and his endorsements. |
| 9:22
| 'Lacher doesn't seem to see the big picture though. He doesn't seem to get that if you have unprotected sex you'll probably get someone pregnant. He did back off from the talk of quitting though. |
| 9:23
| He made $50 million endorsing Vitamin Water, plus he's got this $18 million extension which seems like a show of good faith. And of course the Bears will pass that along to the fans. |
| 9:24
| The Bears will probably up that $18 million and go up to $7 million guaranteed and then you'll see Urlacher in camp. This situation could have been handled a lot better. |
| 9:25
| Really though it's just like the Briggs thing and that was rectified, as was his car. Briggs was in court yesterday in a case related to that car crash. |
| 9:31
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 9:32
| Alright Chef Hans is here and Pat Boyle is still on the phone. We pretty much covered all the sports, he probably could have dismissed him. |
| 9:33
| There was that story about the dentist suing Benny the Bull for pulling his arm during a high-five and injuring him. He's actually suing the Bulls Pat, Benny isn't real. |
| 9:34
| It seems like the whole thing was an accident. Benny the Bull was going for a high-give and he tripped. We should probably talk about the NFL draft before this weekend. Pat can do that on Friday. |
| 9:35
| Chef Hans has had a lot of people in the restaurant lately. Reed Johnson (whoever that is) and Ryan Theriot were in as well as some umpires. Reed Johnson is the guy who's been filling in for Soriano and he's been doing well. It must be the steak Hans is feeding them. |
| 9:36
| Hans has news to share with Steve. Are they getting married? Hans will say it in German and then translate to English. A winery owner had his nose insured for $5 million at Lloyd's of London. |
| 9:37
| Hans has a pretty good nose, he should have it insured. He should also have his accent insured. If he ever loses that he'll lose his charm. |
| 9:38
| Hans was also wondering if vegans can eat animal crackers. Hans is doing his George Carlin/existential thing today. Hans is killing today, he's killing and grilling. |
| 9:39
| The restaurant has been very busy now that the patio is open. Even if it's cool people want to eat out there. |
| 9:40
| Hans also saw Jerry Reinsdorf the other day. Steve saw Mr. Reinsdorf-as he likes to call him-last night. He's looking very skinny, he said he stopped eating bread and butter. |
| 9:41
| Hans also recently saw Dennis Hull, he's going to be doing some marketing for the Blackhawks. Is Dennis Bobby's son, Steve's never heard of him. |
| 9:42
| Dennis is Bobby's brother, they call him the Silver Dome or the Golden Dome. He and Bobby both wear toupees so they sometimes Dennis says that Bobby has the golden hair. |
| 9:43
| Bobby's toupee is not great looking, did he and Ron Santo get their toupees at the same place? Hans and Dennis actually went to visit Ron up in the booth. Was that when his hair caught on fire? |
| 9:51
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 9:52
| The Little Guys can mount your Sharp Aquos wherever you want it. Steve's wearing his as a belt today. |
| 9:53
| News with Buzz |
| 9:54
| Hillary Clinton won the Pennsylvania primary by 10% points. That's all she needed to fuel the rest of her campaign. She won't quit and that's what the public wants. |
| 9:55
| Earlier today Tyrone said that Indiana was the birthplace of the Klan but it's actually Pulaski, Tennessee. Steve and Buzz both thought it was Indiana. |
| 9:56
| A church in North Carolina finally removed a sign that said "Osama, Obama, hmm...Are they brothers?" |
| 9:57
| Chemical Ali has had a heart attack, once again postponing his execution yet again. |
| 9:58
| Marlee Matlin was kicked off Dancing With the Stars last night. Jason Taylor of the Dolphins is also a contestant, he's been pretty funny. |
| 9:59
| In other Florida news a woman called 911 after finding an alligator in her kitchen. Steve saw video of that, the gator was huge. |
| 10:00
| On the advice of his doctors, Roger Ebert will not be attending his yearly film festival at U of I. He's also recovering from a broken hip. Talk about rotten luck, he's finally well enough to go on vacation and then he breaks his hip. |
| 10:01
| And in other bad news that Brazilian priest who took off tied to a bunch of helium balloons has still not been located. |
