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| 5:31
| This is a good theme right? Good morning everyone, live from downtown Chicago, Illinois. Buzz is wondering if anyone remembers Loretta Young, this is her kind of music. |
| 5:32
| She was hot as Steve recalls. She had the pearl necklace and the tight sweater and the big hooters. She's one of those women that when Steve sees them, he wants to invent a time machine and go back in time to nail them. |
| 5:33
| Joey Heatherton is one of those women, as is Ingar Stevens and Stella Stevens too. So Steve's working on a time machine but so far he's only been able to go back to yesterday. |
| 5:34
| There's a movie on cable, it's pretty low budget, about two guys who invent a time machine but they can only go back in time 15 minutes. There's still a lot you can do in 15 minutes though and they make themselves rich. |
| 5:35
| Steve would go back in time and nail Joanna Cassidy but he'd also do her in her current state too. She seems like a fun girl. |
| 5:36
| That stupid cough he had his back and he doesn't want to take his cough medicine. It has codeine in it and that's not the way he wants to start a morning show. |
| 5:37
| Stella Stevens is still alive and she's 69 which is close in age too Buzz. She's not that much older than Steve either. It seems like it would be a fun time and you could make her tell you stuff about her nailing William Holden or Jerry Lewis. You probably don't want to know what Jerry Lewis did. |
| 5:38
| Steve is still on the board of directors at Columbia College but he's waiting to be kicked off. Turns out all they want you to do is donate money. There was a time when Steve had a whole plan outlined to donate money to the school over a 10 year period. |
| 5:39
| They never responded to his donation though. It wasn't enough to get a wing named after him but maybe a classroom. They wanted him to donate $5,000 but he was going to donate 20 times that over 10 years. |
| 5:40
| Then they accused him of trying to welsh on paying him. The people on the board are just people who want to get together and have board meetings. Steve has only made one donation but that's because they told him he could teach a class instead. |
| 5:41
| Steve would much rather do that because of the college girls and because it would help feed our intern program. He's not sure he would want to give out a bunch of broadcasting secrets though. Here's a tip, don't take codeine before broadcasting. |
| 5:42
| It seems like the intern stream has been bogged down by our own Adam. A lot of hot girls have sent photos in with their resumes but Adam has a very intense screening process. He might be trying to date these girls. |
| 5:43
| How much interviewing does he have to do, they're just going to be getting Steve oatmeal from Au Bon Pain. All he wants is to see a nice panty line when they leave the studio. |
| 5:44
| Steve calls down to Adam's office, he's still in the middle of the interview process. Steve's going to take it over and just call the girls on the way home today and tell them they're hired and to wear a skirt on their first day. |
| 5:45
| Adam doesn't think we can do that but we can. Steve is a signature CBS personality, he can do whatever he wants. We can tell them to wear skirts as long we make Jim wear one too and he is today. He looks much better now that he's started shaving his legs. |
| 5:46
| Adam has one more person to interview and then he'll make his decision. Why doesn't he just say yes to all of them? We can't have too many interns right? Adam feels we can have too many so he's structured the program for only 2. |
| 5:47
| Adam's last interview is in two weeks. Two weeks?! He better move quicker because Stephanie is going on vacation next week. He better find some interns or else he'll be going to Au Bon Pain and waiting in line for oatmeal, then bringing it back because it's not right. |
| 5:48
| Adam's Mr. Human Resources so he wants to make sure the interview process is thorough and all candidates are considered. There is no human resources, this is showbiz! |
| 5:49
| Adam is quite full of himself for a little fellar. Is Steve going to have to bust him down to sandwich boy? He'll take away his dark office too! |
| 5:50
| Even if Adam hired someone today they wouldn't be able to start until June when school gets out. He shouldn't say hire, then people will think they're getting paid. How about "learn at the knee of the great Steve Dahl?" Or maybe "on the knee..." |
| 5:51
| Steve's going to rent a two room hotel suite and finish off these interviews. And just to make sure he gives everyone a fair chance he'll even do the guy interviewee. Can Adam find one that's sort of effeminate with not a lot of facial hair? Someone who's like Adam actually. |
| 5:52
| Adam should start up the fall intern interviews right now. He was actually going to start those in July. Does Adam do anything Steve asks him to do?! |
| 5:53
| Steve will consider the guy interviewee too, he could be a friend for Jim and Adam. He could run out and get Jim peanut butter or get Adam lifts for his shoes. |
| 5:54
| Who's in charge here? It's like Steve hired Napoleon. Stephanie is gone next week so Adam is going to have to run out and get stuff. He might make really complicated food orders and then throw it out when Adam gets back. |
| 5:59
| Steve has applications for the interns. Here's one girl wearing an old Insane Coho Lips t-shirt. She's in, interview over! She also worked as a nanny and at American Girl Place, Abercrombie and for the White Sox. She's in! |
| 6:00
| Here's another girl, she's from Hinsdale although she didn't include a picture. She's in too, her and Steve can carpool to work. |
| 6:01
| Here's a dude who worked at a movie theater so he share's Buzz's love of movies, plus he worked at Taco Bell. He'd be perfect for making Taco Bell runs and if he's too handsome we can keep him in the lobby. |
| 6:02
| If he's a dork Steve will keep him around to make him and Buzz look better, like they do with Pete. There's one girl he hasn't met and Steve is troubled by a grease stain on her application. Steve hopes it's a grease stain. |
| 6:03
| Steve calls down to Adam's office, this is a grease stain right? Adam set his Taco Bell down on the application on accident so he has to reprint that. Why can't Adam just hire all 4 of these people? |
| 6:04
| Adam doesn't want that many kids running around and he's structured it for 2 people. He wants to make sure both interns are able to have a chance to work with everyone else on the show. Pete's not going to work with anyone because he's afraid to show someone else how to do his job and he's anti-social. He'll just try to nail the girl interns with a fake story about being a millionaire anyway. |
| 6:05
| Adam has been interviewing people for 2 months and the internship is only going to last for 3 months. He has a lot of autonomy here but Steve never gave it to him. He just took it! |
| 6:06
| Adam is going to be sorry when Stephanie is gone next week and he's getting him weird stuff. He just sent Stephanie to get him some large curd cottage cheese that he could stick in his underpants. |
| 6:07
| So Steve has this letter from Columbia College, where he's trying to be kicked off the board of directors. |
| 6:08
| Steve has been invited to a broadcasting event at Columbia College. There's no students, it's just professors. Steve doesn't want to sit there and listen to various people say they got out of radio when it went corporate. |
| 6:09
| It is a private dinner, Steve likes the sound of that. Seating is limited though but the person in charge wrote him a private note hoping he could attend. |
| 6:10
| Steve is still boycotting Columbia though but a free lunch sounds OK. There's another event going on this afternoon that CBS is doing. Buzz thought we were boycotting that. |
| 6:11
| Steve is not boycotting that, it would be career suicide. He and Buzz are attending although Buzz didn't know that until now. |
| 6:12
| CBS put together a show for advertisers about the combining of all the various forms of media. Steve still thinks that terrestrial radio is still the best way to advertise. |
| 6:13
| Rod Zimmerman is introducing Steve who's then introducing Dan Mason, president of CBS radio. Rod might be unhappy with that because it's not how his flow-chart is set up. |
| 6:14
| Steve is also supposed to introduce some band he's never heard of. Then there's a cocktail event afterwards where Steve, Buzz and Felicia Middlebrooks will get hammered. |
| 6:15
| Steve doesn't understand why Adam can't pull the trigger on some of these interns. Does he have an official application that people are filling out? He's still using the CBS application but he doesn't work for CBS. He can't get off the CBS teet. |
| 6:16
| Actually the CBS application is probably good use for the purpose of liability. You never know what Buzz is going to do, he does grope people. Just the other day he was groping Jim, we had to have a whole thing about that with lawyers flying in from New York. |
| 6:17
| One of these girls says she can start as soon as she's needed. But Adam's giving him that crap about them not starting until June?! |
| 6:24
| Steve needs to call Adam again. He says that he wants everything to be on the up and up, which is good, but only one person filled out an application. |
| 6:25
| Adam didn't know about the application until after he started the interview process so he's going to have everyone else fill one out. Who is advising him on all of this anyway? |
| 6:26
| The one girl who did fill out an application said she could start whenever so let's hire her! She can't get course credit yet but when she can then we'll start giving it to her. Until then she can still work here. |
| 6:27
| Adam isn't sure he wants to hire this girl yet. He feels the whole thing is under control. This girl says she's ready to start, she should be here tomorrow! |
| 6:28
| Adam's using this thing like it's one of those speed dating services. He just doesn't want the interview process to stop because he likes having all this control over college kids. |
| 6:29
| Steve's not trying to be a dirty old man, Adam is crazy. He did have good interns at WCKG but he hung out with them like he was Zoolander and they were supermodels. |
| 6:30
| If Adam were smart he'd have this girl on the phone at 10:01 am today and ready to start tomorrow. Or he'd have her in Steve's office at 10 am for the final interview. |
| 6:31
| Alright it's time for the web poll, brought to you by Four Winds Casino in New Buffalo. Steve intends to base himself out of there very shortly. |
| 6:32
| Steve doesn't have a gambling problem although his family thinks he does and it hasn't surfaced yet. Steve feels everything has surfaced. |
| 6:33
| Steve's in showbiz, he could go to a car dealership and get paid to hang out for a few hours. So he's not looking to go to a casino to get rich. |
| 6:34
| Steve enjoys the entertainment aspect of gambling, he's not in it to make money, except that winning is fun. He's not the type who needs to put $100,000 on a hand of blackjack. |
| 6:35
| All of Steve's problems have been around since he was a kid, going all the way back to the mayonnaise. That might as well have been a bottle of Jack Daniels. |
| 6:36
| Yesterday's web poll was "Which is your favorite candy bar?" Snickers came in first at 61% and Steve's pretty sure that's the most popular candy bar, so the web poll is accurate. Snickers does give you a boost of energy, if you can't get your hands on trucker speed. |
| 6:37
| Did Steve read or hear correctly yesterday that the trucker in that Chinatown crash had someone else's prescription on him? Did anyone say what it was? Why did they let this guy go? |
| 6:38
| Sources say the man sat in his jail cell naked and went to the bathroom on the floor. Why did the release this guy though? He's from Michigan, if he wanted to he could probably high-tail it to Canada. |
| 6:39
| Steve feels if he or Buzz did this they'd be in jail now. Steve was doing 30 over in White County, Illinois and he had to appear in court out there! |
| 6:40
| People are always being urged to take public transportation, then 2 people are killed taking public transportation. And we're not defending them?! Plus he's going to the bathroom on our prison floor! |
| 6:41
| So this guy is naked, going to the bathroom on the floor and we let him out of jail? How does he even get a commercial driver's license? A prison toilet isn't private but it's more private than going on the floor. |
| 6:42
| Buzz always remembers something Steve said about toilet seats, that you can't get anything from sitting on one. Your butt is made to sit on a toilet, it's a big fleshy lump where nothing can get in! |
| 6:43
| That claim was backed up by something Buzz read in Men's Health, which he apparently reads religiously. They interviewed a doctor who said that as far as he knew there were no butt borne illnesses. |
| 6:44
| They trick you with those paper gaskets for the toilet seats, those things probably contain more bad stuff than a toilet seat. They've got those things out at O'Hare where the plastic wrap automatically goes around the toilet. Steve didn't know how to use one and apparently the person before you is supposed to advance the cover after he's done. Steve didn't know that and sat on a used one. He had to go out and get hosed down like an airplane after that. |
| 6:45
| Caller Arnie thinks that maybe the trucker went on the floor because he wasn't given a plastic jug to go in. |
| 6:46
| Whoever wrote the Tribune story about this yesterday said the guy "allegedly" was driving the truck. Is that something you have to allege? Maybe it was the Sun-Times, they hire kids right out of high school and just tell them to put "allegedly" in front of everything. |
| 6:51
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:52
| Tyrone is checking in with some traffic and he's bringing Reverend Wright back from Washington. Barack paid him $100,000 to "lose" Wright for a few weeks. |
| 6:53
| Tyrone's flying up to Wisconsin for a "retreat" with Wright, maybe he could reexamine God or something. |
| 6:54
| A CTA bus and a car were involved in a crash right in front Superdawg. They got those two hot dogs up on top, they'll probably have to testify now. |
| 6:55
| No passengers are believed to be on the bus but a bunch of people probably jumped on and put those foam neck collars on. |
| 6:56
| Has Buzz ever been to Superdawg? It's the best, he should take his daughter up there some Saturday when he has the car. They have car hop service and all the food comes out in little boxes. |
| 6:57
| Superdawg is good, it don't get no better than that. Buzz is looking at the place now and it looks exciting. |
| 6:58
| Buzz loves a good hot dog and his family is going to love the car hop service and the food in the box with the fries. |
| 6:59
| Tyrone goes up there all the time although it's hard landing the choptater up there. The blades could decapitate someone. |
| 7:00
| The Superdawg is not a weiner, a frankfurter or a red hot but an exclusive Superdawg. It's on a poppy seed bun with all the trimmings. Mustard, piccalilli, a kosher dill pickle, Spanish onions and a hot pepper. |
| 7:01
| Caller Howard wanted to let Tyrone know that the hot dogs on top of the restaurant are named Maurie and Flaurie. He's not sure why Maurie is dressed like a caveman though. |
| 7:02
| Flaurie is just wearing a mini-skirt with no top on. She should get a top on though. |
| 7:03
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 7:04
| Alright back to the web poll, today's question is "How many movies will you see this summer?" Buzz will probably see a lot right, like once a week? |
| 7:05
| Steve will probably see a few movies in the theaters. He saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall on Sunday, it was really funny. If you liked Semi-Pro, you'll like this movie. |
| 7:06
| Steve might want to go see that Tina Fey movie, Baby Mama, as well. He only likes the comedies. |
| 7:07
| Alright, this is Mark Harris from Entertainment Weekly, he's making 6 fearless predictions for the summer movie season. It's always tricky to predict what the summer box office will be like. |
| 7:08
| Last year it was supposed to be the summer of the threequels, Shrek, Spider-Man and Pirates. It was, unless you define the summer by movies people like. |
| 7:09
| Prediction one, a controversy will arise over whether or not Heath Ledger deserves a posthumous Oscar for playing The Joker in The Dark Knight. Steve could have predicted that. |
| 7:10
| Not a single major movie will fail because it's bad. The box office might be affected by bad weather, good weather, the recession or bad marketing but not a bad movie. |
| 7:11
| The three most coveted words in any 2008 movie ad will be "This year's Juno." Steve has Juno at home but still hasn't watched it. It seems like something he should watch in private in case he gets weepy. |
| 7:12
| At some point this summer a modestly budgeted movie that features a woman in a major role will make money. Didn't that Waitress movie with Keri Russell do well last year? Steve watched that one privately too, Keri Russell is so hot. Plus she was making pies. |
| 7:13
| There will be many dull discussions about how we are living in the "post-movie star era." That means that people don't go see a movie just because George Clooney is in it. Steve did see Leatherheads and it sucked. |
| 7:14
| Clooney also writes, directs and produces but the old-time movie star didn't have time for all that. The old-time movie star was either too busy nailing chicks or too busy trying to hide the fact that he's gay. |
| 7:15
| The final prediction is that at some point someone will pitch a movie based on The Hills. That wouldn't be bad plus there could be nudity. |
| 7:16
| Put Steve down for 4 to 6 movies this summer, especially now that he's going to that Muvico theater in Rosemont. It's only $7.50 more for the VIP section with valet parking and free popcorn. Plus they've got a great restaurant there where Matt Dahl is a waitress. |
| 7:17
| Caller Patrick isn't a big fan of The Hills but Audrina is naked somewhere on the web. She's the friend of Lauren's, possibly a roommate. But Patrick isn't a fan of the show, he just knows all then ames. |
| 7:18
| There was a little too much male nudity in Forgetting Sarah Marshall though, you see the guy's wang at the beginning and the end of the movie. Apparently in real life a girl dumped him while he was naked. They could probably convey that without showing anything. If you're going to show the wang at least show Kristen Bell naked too. |
| 7:19
| That being said, if Steve had a wang like that he would probably get it out there. There should still be a wang-free version of the movie though. |
| 7:20
| You see the wang at the beginning and then think about it for two hours. When it's finally out of your head bam, there it is again at the end! Then you have to drive home thinking about that and what do you say? |
| 7:26
| Buzz did not hear a tape or snappy music. He's sure it played but he doesn't remember what it was. Is it anything important that Steve or Buzz need to hear? |
| 7:27
| Pete played drop from Forgetting Sarah Marshall so it wasn't important. It did mention a merman though. That drop is in the trailer but it wasn't in the movie as far as Steve remembers. Maybe it was and Steve just forgot because it was right after the wang. |
| 7:28
| The cool thing about all these movies is they're produced by Judd Apatow. A lot of these actors were on Freaks & Geeks and now he's hooking them up. |
| 7:29
| News with Buzz |
| 7:30
| Jeremiah Wright has said that no matter what he does, if God wants Obama elected, he'll be elected. He also took some time out to make fun of the way JFK spoke. What is with this guy? |
| 7:31
| They had Jeremiah Wright at the Press Club yesterday on CNN, then they came back to a black anchor. It was right after he made the joke about how he'd like to be Vice President and everyone in the crowd was laughing but not the anchor. If Steve were African-American he wouldn't be happy with what Wright is doing now. |
| 7:32
| This guy thinks he's Richard Pryor and he can't stop, he loves the spotlight. Even Jesse and Al are smart enough to put a clamp on it. You can't compare JFK's Boston accent and the way he says ask with someone say "aks". The way JFK says "ask" is a regional accent, "aks" is a misspelling. |
| 7:33
| Who was even talking about that anyway? The guy seems engaging but he needs to dial it down. He's not helping Obama either. If he's trying to get a white person elected then he's doing a good job. |
| 7:34
| The chairman of the House Judiciary Committee has met with Sean Bell's family. He's calling for a federal civil rights investigation in the 50 shots that killed Bell. |
| 7:35
| Meanwhile Al Sharpton continues to plan non-violent protests. Steve has that other Wright cut although he can tell Buzz is getting frustrated with him. |
| 7:36
| Steve just wants to play it because it was the weirdest thing he said. Then they cut back to the CNN dude and he's not smiling. That's where you can tell Wright doesn't care, he's just doing this for fun. It's like he's one of the Original Kings of Comedy. He's a fedora away from being Steve Harvey! |
| 7:37
| In some side action, Al Sharpton's Jaguar was towed yesterday while he was conducting business in New York. According to authorities the car had been ticketed numerous times and racked up over $900 in fines. |
| 7:38
| Victims of a Chicago high-rise fire in 2005 will receive a settlement worth over $100 million. Steve couldn't tell last night if that was a lot or not enough or just right. |
| 7:39
| This could be troubling news for Drew. There was no body but a jury found Hans Reiser guilty of the first degree murder of his wife. |
| 7:40
| Prosecutors contend that Reiser acted suspicious after his wife disappeared, thoroughly cleaning his car and tearing up carpet in his house. |
| 7:41
| Reiser also contends that his wife went back to her native Russia where she has many contacts. Or maybe she's in Jamaica? That's where Drew got the idea about Stacy running off. |
| 7:42
| Drew's available to take calls and give advice to the lovelorn we Buzz wants to do an Ask Drew segment. Did he say "ask" alright? He doesn't want to be taken to task for he way he says ask by Rev. Wright. |
| 7:43
| More bad news for Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild. The call girl hired by Eliot Spitzer is suing Francis for using her name and image and that she was only 17 when she was photographed. |
| 7:44
| A judge in Lake County had pepper-spray used on him following a drunk-driving arrest. |
| 7:45
| It's unclear why pepper spray was used although it seems like a good way for the judge to get out of it. Steve wants to know what kind of world we're living in where the top judge in Lake County gets pulled over and arrested. |
| 7:46
| In that situation the cops should have just driven the guy home and then no one ever hears about it. What happened to the world where entitled white men ruled? |
| 7:47
| Mark Czerniec says that the Eliot Spitzer girl was only 17 and although she signed a release it's not valid. Why can't Joe Francis just make sure they're not underage? |
| 7:48
| Really he should be shooting for girls who are at least 21. That's still young enough for Steve. |
| 7:55
| That was a nice drop of Drew's greatest hits and he appreciates MSNBC putting that together for him. He doesn't have the editing capabilities. |
| 7:56
| Live read: Joebees |
| 7:57
| Joe Bee is here, isn't it time for Steve to take his Joebees? It's only $99 for a 6th month supply. |
| 7:58
| Steve is still doubling down on the bee pollen because he's fighting off this influenza/pneumonia. Some people had way worse but Steve is crediting the bee pollen with helping him. |
| 7:59
| If you're one of the first 5 people to order a 6 month supply today you get a free t-shirt, like the one Buzz got yesterday. |
| 8:00
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Taco Tuesday and on a listener's recommendation Steve and Buzz are having the Grande Soft Taco. |
| 8:01
| The Grande Soft Taco features a second flour tortilla wrapped around the first one, using nacho cheese as an adhesive. |
| 8:02
| Alright, without further ado, it's time for Ask Drew. Drew's also having a taco, he appreciates Steve and Buzz getting one. Buzz doesn't mind if he eats while talking to callers does he? |
| 8:03
| There are several people on hold but most of them seem like smart-asses, which he doesn't appreciate. |
| 8:04
| Caller Jim is an attorney in Bolingbrook. He was actually calling in about that Girls Gone Wild thing. If you're a minor and you sign a contract the minor can get out of it. |
| 8:05
| However if the minor wants to stay in the contract the adult is bound to it. But don't confuse this with the age of consent, that's difference. |
| 8:06
| If Jim ever wants to come by and view some Girls Gone Wild tapes for legal purposes, or help Drew get his guns back, he should feel free. |
| 8:07
| See Jim knows that Drew is innocent until proven guilty. Maybe all of Drew's friends should be lawyers. |
| 8:08
| There are other calls here, does Buzz want more about Girls Gone Wild? They seem to be falling to him for some reason. |
| 8:09
| Caller Dean is in Libertyville, he was just reading about that judge who was pepper sprayed. Maybe he was eating something in the car and the officer thought he could use some pepper? |
| 8:10
| Drew has to agree with Steve Dahls, what happened to the days when a judge would get pulled over and then driven home and tucked in by a police officer? |
| 8:11
| Dean is actually on his way into work in the Prudential Building, he works for McGraw-Hill. Drew just happens to be looking for a publisher. |
| 8:12
| Dean was actually reading up on the Joe Francis thing and apparently they have footage of Joe checking the girl's ID and it is a very good fake ID. It seems like he's covered. |
| 8:13
| Dean had an idea for Drew and one of his sponsors. He could get together with Joe Bee Francis and do a Bees Gone Wild. |
| 8:14
| Dean had a quick question for Buzz, has he been to Culver's yet? Buzz just found out that the pretzels at the movie theater are soft so probably not. It's great fast food though and they're everywheres now. |
| 8:15
| Drew enjoys the Culver's, they're delicious. He also enjoys the Concretes. Drew also heard Steve Dahls recommend Superdawg to Buzz, he should go there too. |
| 8:16
| Drew does have some dating advice to give out because he's pretty good at dating. After all he did date a girl while he was married. That's tough to do, especially after your wife finds out you're dating someone. |
| 8:17
| These dating tips seem more like a slam on Drew. It's all about how the bad guy always wins. These aren't dating tips and this could be actionable for Drew. |
| 8:18
| The guy down the street who is mean, never calls, is rude and unhelpful and shows little respect seems to get all the women. These do seem like dating tips for guys who can't get laid, like our own Pete Zimmerman. |
| 8:19
| Bad guys are a challenge for girls. The girls who go after the bad guy because they want them to themselves. |
| 8:20
| The more a girl wants the bad guy the more likely it is that the guy will walk away. Women love feeling good about themselves and getting the bad guy satisfies that urge. |
| 8:21
| Bad guys are confident and self-assured, they know who they are and don't care what anyone else thinks. This is how Drew got Stacy. |
| 8:22
| Who wrote this thing? Is it a girl? Is it a guy? Buzz thinks maybe it's a couple. Or it could be a hermaphrodite. |
| 8:23
| Drew needs to turn off this music, he can't take another round of it. It does sound better with the music though. |
| 8:24
| Alright that's it for today. The bottom line is that girls like the bad guy. When Drew goes to Ted's Montana Grill they know he's a bad boy. |
| 8:32
| Even though Drew is innocent he still has to do a lot of this image rehabilitation stuff. |
| 8:33
| The broads do dig the outlaws though, that's Drew's tip to all the guys out there. If there's a hot broad who lives near you, go in front of her house, beat a guy up and take his groceries and then bring them to her. |
| 8:34
| Next thing you know you're having sex and then after that heating up a Home Run Inn pizza in the microwave. |
| 8:35
| Drew's middle name is Walter, no wonder why he doesn't share that with anyone. He might have to change it to Kung-Fu. |
| 8:36
| Drew only uses his middle name when he's at Walter E. Smithe. But then they kick him out because they don't have velvet furniture. |
| 8:37
| Live read: Triton College |
| 8:38
| Alright, 25 years ago, the Lee Elia's rant was dropped on the airwaves. Joining us now on the phone is Chicago sportscasting legend Les Grobstein. |
| 8:39
| Les calls it the Tirade Heard 'Round the World. This was before the internet but with in a week it was on every continent. |
| 8:40
| The Cubs were playing the Dodgers and winning most of the game. The Dodgers tied it up and then in the 8th Lee Smith threw a wild pitch and the Dodgers took the lead. |
| 8:41
| Most of the media decided to go to the Dodgers clubhouse after the game because Mike Marshall, from Buffalo Grove, was making his MLB debut. He was also dating Belinda Carlisle. |
| 8:42
| Les was told by WLS that they weren't going to feed any tape in that day so any sports would be without actualities. |
| 8:43
| Les gets down to the lockerroom with three other beat writers. Lee seems fine when he brings them down to his office. But by this time Keith Moreland and Larry Bowa had beer thrown at them and were trying to get into the stands. |
| 8:44
| But even after that Lee seemed fine. So Les just says "tough loss" which wasn't really a question. Then that's where it starts with Lee saying the Cubs were mired. |
| 8:45
| The first 2 minutes are the juiciest part of the tape and by that time Lee had pretty much buried himself. Les tried to change the subject by saying "well see you tomorrow" and Lee says "OK!" |
| 8:46
| But then Lee keeps going and he drops some more f-bombs. Then he says that in baseball you hit the ball, you throw the ball, you catch the ball. That line was later used in Bull Durham although Les can't prove they got the line from the tirade. |
| 8:47
| This was at a time before the Cubs were really popular. The weekday games were usually pretty empty so it was a depressing place. |
| 8:48
| Lee Elia will be at Wrigley today and he was also at Harry Caray's. He's selling a little talking baseball that plays his rant but it's more pro-Cubs. |
| 8:49
| The ball is in a case and autographed by Lee Elia. It seems like he's rewriting history but it does come with a CD of the original rant, unedited. |
| 8:50
| The Lee Elia rant is probably the most famous sports tape ever. There's a good Tommy Lasorda one too but it's probably Elia and then Ed Lynch/Bruce Levine. |
| 8:51
| The Tommy Lasorda tape is pretty good though. He was managing the A's at the time. |
| 8:52
| Les is the only person who has the entire tape. A few other guys showed up late, like Mark Giangreco. |
| 8:53
| The other day Les was in the Sox lockerroom after the game where Konerko hit the 2 home runs. Les was interviewing AJ and afterwards he started quoting the rant. |
| 8:54
| Les showed him the mic he used to record it, which he still uses. Then AJ grabbed Paul Konerko and told him about it. Konerko plays parts of the rant before some games and offered to buy the mic. |
| 8:59
| There's the Bruce Levine tape, it's an excellent use of the word "liaison" Buzz feels that word touches the whole thing off. |
| 9:00
| The funny thing is that Ed Lynch and Bruce Levine are still pretty good friends. Ed later came back to run the Cubs at which point he admitted to throwing at Keith Moreland, who had hit 2 home runs off the Mets. |
| 9:01
| Could Les tell Bruce to stop hating Steve? Steve doesn't hate him but he is a troublemaker. Everyone on Les' side of the business is a troublemaker. |
| 9:02
| Steve likes Bruce, he knows a lot about baseball. You have to love a guy who throws down a tape like that. |
| 9:03
| So 25 years ago today the Cubs were at home against the Dodgers. The day after that game they actually bombed Fernando Valenzuela then went on the road. |
| 9:04
| The Sox game back home the next day and they were on a tear that year, winning 99 games. Then they got swept by the Orioles in the playoffs. |
| 9:05
| The Sox won the game and Les was there talking to players after the game. LaRussa comes out of his office and asks him to play the Elia tape for him and all his coaches. Jim Leyland and Art Kushner were his coaches, as was Dave Duncan. |
| 9:06
| So they close the door and Les plays the tape for everyone. Leyland is sucking his cheeks in to avoid losing it, Kushner turned around but LaRussa had a stoic look the whole time. |
| 9:07
| After it was over the coaches filed out of the office without saying a word and then LaRussa thanked him for playing it. Les told him that if he had said that they'd run him out of town on a third rail. He agreed and just wanted his coaches to know what not to say. |
| 9:08
| In Steve's mind he has the events after the rant wrong. Les is heading up to the press box because he had to feed this tape in. The old press boxes were where the skyboxes are now. Then out walks Harry Caray, Vince Lloyd and Lou Boudreau. |
| 9:09
| Les stopped them and told them they had to hear this tape. Les has never seen Harry like this, he was as white as a ghost. |
| 9:10
| So Les calls the WLS newsroom and Renee Tondelli is the engineer on-duty. Les tells her to roll tape even though they're not taking a feed that day. |
| 9:11
| Renee comes back on the phone and she says "Oh my God!" She said she'd need about an hour and a half to edit this thing before it could be played. |
| 9:12
| She put the tones on the edited tape but then the next day another engineer went through the tape with a razor, cut out all the profanities and put them on backwards. That's on Les' website. |
| 9:13
| Someone brought the tape to Steve and Garry on the AM side and Tommy Edwards on the FM side and they both played it. Steve couldn't stop playing it actually. |
| 9:14
| The Cubs got hot after the rant but Lee eventually got fired in August when they started losing again. |
| 9:15
| Lee will be at the game tonight and he was made available to throw out the first pitch or sing the 7th Inning Stretch. That was going to happen but then some upper-level Tribsters must have put a stop to it. |
| 9:16
| Steve and Buzz definitely want those baseballs though and they'll pay for them too since it's for charity. |
| 9:17
| Steve's going to play the rant . He can't believe it was 25 years ago. Sometimes Les feels like he's 12 years old and sometimes he feels much older. And he's on his 5th wife isn't he? |
| 9:18
| Les was divorced for the 3rd and last time 13 years ago but he's been dating the same woman for 7 years. Steve's never met her but she wants to meet him. |
| 9:19
| Les was also in the right place at the right time with the whole McMahon thing in New Orleans in 1985. Someone falsely said that McMahon said, in an interview with Les, that the women of New Orleans were whores and the guys were idiots. |
| 9:20
| There was a public outcry on the local media and Jim's agent wanted him to apologize and clear the whole thing up. |
| 9:28
| That's Lee Elia talking about going to the Cubs game tonight. Steve doesn't think anyone will be mean to him, no one is mad about that rant are they? |
| 9:29
| Live read: Seattle Sutton |
| 9:30
| Alright now back to Les Grobstein. The website has been getting a lot of hits lately after Steve mentioned it. It just shows how popular Steve is. |
| 9:31
| Alright now on to the rant, recorded on the 29th of April in 1983. |
| 9:34
| Good work there Les. That rant has a dramatic arch to it, there's an ebb and flow. |
| 9:35
| Yesterday Les was joking around with Lee, telling him that he invented a few words, most of which can't be repeated here, in that rant. |
| 9:36
| And Paul Konerko plays the tape to get himself pumped up before games. He seemed pretty serious about buying Les' microphone too but he's not sure what it would be worth. It should be in Cooperstown. |
| 9:37
| That shredded Red Sox jersey that was in the foundation of the new Yankee Stadium sold for half a million. |
| 9:38
| Les covered both Bears Super Bowl visits with this mic and all 6 Bulls championships. He's not keeping it because he's nostalgic though, just because he's cheap. |
| 9:39
| Les is just worried about buying a new mic that won't work the right way. Was that an EV7? Steve thought it was an EV7. |
| 9:40
| That's The Grobber, he's something else. That was all very exciting to Buzz, not just hearing the full rant, but also just hearing from Les. |
| 9:41
| Buzz is wondering what they can do with the Lee Elia tape. It can't go into Cooperstown can it? Les owns the tape and it's probably the most famous sports rant in history. You probably don't want the kids walking up to the display, pressing the button and hearing that. |
| 9:42
| It doesn't get any more real than that tape, the soul of Lee Elia was being poured into Les' microphone. And really the soul of the Cubs at that time at least. |
| 9:48
| News with Buzz |
| 9:49
| The Reverend Jeremiah Wright has been taking a lot of heat for harming the chances of Barack Obama to become President. It seems like he's doing it for no good reason too. |
| 9:50
| Meanwhile Hillary Clinton has picked up the endorsement of North Carolina's governor. He said that "She's no pansy" What does that mean? Is that a slight on pansies? Is he talking about the flower? |
| 9:51
| You'd think of all the other words in the English language he could have found a better one than that. |
| 9:52
| Country singer Mindy McCreedy admits that having a relationship with Roger Clemens. They met in a karaoke bar when he was 28 years old. |
| 9:53
| Yesterday Steve left the Sox game during the rain delay and someone on The Score was calling him a rapist. They really went to town on The Rocket. |
| 9:54
| Steve got home and watched the game until about 6:20 when it's suspended in the 11th inning because of rain. Someone could have been hurt and both those teams are in first place. |
| 9:55
| There's a day in June where both the Sox and Orioles have the day off and the Orioles will be here anyway playing the Cubs anyway. They could have easily played the entire game on that day but now they have to play the rest of the game that day. |
| 9:56
| Steve still had some of the buffet yesterday and they'll have to fire up the buffet again when the make up that game. |
| 9:57
| According to WBBM-AM they're going to make that game up in Baltimore in August. Steve is still demanding a buffet. It's a home game though, it doesn't seem right that they're finishing it up in Baltimore. |
| 9:58
| That's not right and Steve will be filling a complaint against Major League Baseball. He still hasn't heard from them about his MLB TV package being blacked out. |
| 9:59
| Steve might just wait outside of Wrigley Field for Bud Selig, he'll be there tonight right? He does own the Brewers, that's such a scam. What can he do to make the Brewers more profitable? Move them to the same league and division of the Cubs of course. |
