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| 5:31
| Is this the theme song Steve likes? Buzz likes it because it seems to combine about 8 different film genres. There's some noir, some comedy, it has it all. |
| 5:32
| It's actually starting to get light out this early. It's also staying light much later. There have been a few times when Steve has gone to bed recently and it's still light out. It's like he's a little kid and his parents sent him to bed early while all his friends are still outside playing. |
| 5:33
| Buzz remembers reading that Wally Phillips used to go to bed at 8:30. Steve tries to go to bed between 9 and 10 which sounds much better than 8:30. Mary goes to bed at 8 but she gets up at 8:30. Actually she's up at 1:30 which is still early. |
| 5:34
| Steve was up a little later than normal last night because someone was watching American Idol. It was their Neil Diamond night. Steve's having all of his TiVo's switched to the DirecTV DVR. |
| 5:35
| American Idol didn't record properly last night though. It usually records in the back room where he banishes all of the TV shows he doesn't want to watch to, like The Bachelor, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters. |
| 5:36
| Steve has the west coast feeds of all the networks so that's where he was watching American Idol. He was sort of falling asleep but would periodically wake up to some Neil Diamond. |
| 5:37
| Steve doesn't like this part of American Idol where it's a handful of people having their hearts broken. This is a tough business. Steve likes the early part where the people trying out are really bad and don't deserve to be there. |
| 5:38
| Steve doesn't want to see people who deserve to be there get kicked off and heart broken. If Steve wants that he'll just come to work and listen to a hammered Rod Zimmerman tell him that he didn't think the show would succeed because there are too many pauses. |
| 5:39
| Rod might have been mad because Steve was introducing Dan Mason at yesterday afternoon's CBS and not him. Buzz had a chance to talk food with Todd Cavanah but he didn't hear about his wine. |
| 5:40
| They were actually talking about Chef Hans' chicken recipe. It was posted on the website but Buzz is so ignorant about cooking that he'd need to actually see Hans do it. |
| 5:41
| It's a rosemary chicken but what do you do with the rosemary? Do you just dump a pile of it on there? Steve's pretty sure you take a sprig and rub it all around the chicken. |
| 5:42
| Hans would probably love to show Buzz how to prepare the chicken though. Buzz is looking for something that could be his specialty. It could be his Thursday Night Rosemary Chicken special. |
| 5:43
| Buzz also mentioned how he hadn't eaten at Taco Bell much before they were on the show. It is a very prevalent fast food restaurant but Buzz's fast food experiences were usually limited to burgers. |
| 5:44
| Steve had some Taco Bell last night on the way back from the CBS shindig. Buzz thought he did a great job at that thing last night. It wasn't a big deal but his introduction was like a tsunami of charm and a backwash of self-deprecating humor. |
| 5:45
| CBS held an event called Rethinking Radio about the launch of their digital radio platform. All of their radio stations are going to be streaming online for starters. Rod Zimmerman had to introduce Steve who then introduced Dan Mason. It seemed like Rod wasn't happy about that because that's not how the flowchart goes. |
| 5:46
| Dan Mason comes from radio so he knows it's better of have someone from the on-air introduce him instead of those leaches from sales. Steve couldn't be too funny because Dan Mason had a serious presentation to make. But then he had another chance when he introduced the band Ludo. They're on Island Records. |
| 5:47
| Some guy from Island Records called Steve about a thousand times yesterday to remind him to mention that Ludo was on Island Records. Who even cares what label they're on? That's like a concern people had in the 70s. Steve remembers introducing a band on stage and you'd say "Ladies and gentleman, presenting Mushroom Recording artists Heart!" |
| 5:48
| They should have served booze before the presentation and not afterwards. Because the crowd was a little rigid during Steve's introduction. Most of the people at the event were advertisers so they should have had sales people out there taking orders and delivering drinks. |
| 5:49
| Buzz was hoping to slip in and slip out but it was a really big event, like the opening of a big play. Buzz felt underdressed in his jeans too. Steve was all Dockers and he shaved too. |
| 5:50
| Buzz also had his Sox hat on which he took off. He had nowhere to put it though so he stowed it under his jacket, which he carried around with him. But then he ran into several nice ladies and he couldn't give them the obligatory hug because if he raised his arm the hat would fall. |
| 5:51
| 12 years ago Steve was streaming his show on the website and Mel Karmazin shut him down. Steve told him that streaming would be a big thing and Mel kept asking why. He wanted to know why he should let people tune away from his radio station to listen online. Steve was right but he didn't have any good comebacks at the time. |
| 5:52
| Now Mel is Mr. Satellite Radio. There's a stupid idea. Buzz saw some charts about satellite radio that looked pretty discouraging for them. So na-na-na-na. |
| 5:53
| Did Todd have on a turtleneck and a leather jacket, is Steve correct in saying that? Is that his biker look? Buzz was just glad to see he wasn't wearing a tie and he made some snide remarks about the well-dressed people. |
| 5:54
| Steve had to go Taco Bell on the way home because it was hard to eat and talk to people at the event. |
| 5:55
| It seems like everyone was glad that Buzz came. And it's good to know that someone is working on the future. That sales guy who came out at the end, he's very smart. They have a new system worked out where there's a media buyer for all 7 CBS stations. So if you like one person more than someone at another station he or she can sell you ads for all 7 stations. |
| 5:56
| The salespeople were freaking a little bit but if you're a good salesperson it shouldn't matter. They also have some new internet-only content as well. That's when Steve put in a good word for Matt and Brendan. |
| 5:57
| The event was at the Chicago Theater and Steve hasn't been there since he and Garry did some shows for their 10th anniversary. Steve's nose got a little twitchy in the dressing room, it was like stigmata. |
| 6:04
| There's a guy who cares about the record labels, Ron Lewis. Buzz has never even heard of Freckle Records. People don't care what label musicians are on which is probably why label people are still clinging to it and making sure their label gets mentioned. |
| 6:05
| Tyrone is checking in with some traffic. He's working for Barack Obama right now, doing surveillance on Reverend Wright. If he leaves his house Tyrone is supposed to follow him. |
| 6:06
| On I-80 eastbound at the southbound entrance to the Tri-State crews are cleaning up a truck accident. A truck carrying a bunch of ribs crashed and caught on fire. They're beef ribs but still ribs. |
| 6:07
| Tyrone had the choptater loaded up with Leon's BBQ sauce to dump on the fire. In California they dump water on the forest fires but Tyrone used BBQ sauce. |
| 6:08
| The open road toll lanes are open following the accident. Buzz doesn't do much open-road tolling does he? They're going to start selling the I-Pass that beeps when you go through it, so people know that their money was taken off. Otherwise if your credit card expires and you go through the toll, you don't know. |
| 6:09
| Rod R. Blagojavajavavich came up with the open-road tolling but he probably doesn't even have an I-Pass. Or maybe he's got one hidden in that hair of his. |
| 6:10
| So they were having some sort of I-80 rib fest. Tyrone dumped mild and spicy BBQ sauce on the ribs. Leon of Leon's Ribs just died recently didn't he? It was right after Buzz talked about him, which seems to happen a lot. |
| 6:11
| Tyrone's gonna land in Grant Park and do some rollerblading, check out all the ladies walking their dogs. |
| 6:12
| That's all Tyrone has for now but he'll let Buzz know if another food truck crashes. Maybe they'll get a truck delivering Egg McMuffin's or something. |
| 6:19
| That's drop from the NBC 5 news last week where the traffic reporter didn't know where he was. That's fine as long as he's not the pilot. Usually the reporter is also the camera operator. |
| 6:20
| That's probably a good gig to have unless you're in a crash. It seems like helicopter pilots do a better job of spiraling in for a more controlled crash. Although a few weeks ago when Steve was playing those Wally Phillips tapes he heard two of his traffic reporters, both of the whom died in a crashes. |
| 6:21
| Tyrone's back, he's got some more info Buzz. There's a crash on the Kennedy at Diversey. A VW was involved, perhaps a Beetle. The Asian longhorn beetle is gone but we still have the Volkswagen Beetle. |
| 6:22
| VW, that's the people's car. Tyrone spent some time over in Germany in the service. He was incarcerated at Rammstein after a weekend R & R in Thailand went awry. |
| 6:23
| Tyrone has been pitching this idea to anyone who will listen, whenever there's an accident they should just lift the car out of there and leave it in a field. It's your problem to go get the car. |
| 6:24
| Tyrone could pick that VW up right now if he wanted to. Maybe he should do that just to teach them a lesson. |
| 6:25
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 6:26
| Mother's Day is coming up, perfect time to get your wife or mother some flowers. Your wife shouldn't be your mother, unless maybe you live in that compound in Texas. |
| 6:27
| The reason there aren't many young dudes in that sect is because the old dudes get them out of there. Steve can understand why you'd do that. |
| 6:28
| How about the fact that the woman who dropped a dime on that sect isn't even a member? The woman is black and apparently there have been some charges of racism with in the sect. Back in the day that Mormon church used to be pretty racist. |
| 6:29
| Pro Flowers sent a very nice multi-color rose arrangement up to the office. Steve will have to check out the Peruvian lilies though. We're big fans of the Incas, everyone knows that. |
| 6:30
| Steve's really trying to get the boys to handle Mother's Day but they always put in a weak effort. No matter what happens Steve gets in trouble because he set a bad example. |
| 6:31
| So Steve just handles it himself and the boys take the credit. Steve's boys are very big on ordering something online 2 minutes before they're going to give it to you, then printing out the receipt for it. They never follow it up though. |
| 6:32
| Alright, time now for today's web poll. How can Steve not remember yesterday's poll? It's for the same reason that Buzz can't remember either. He tries to remember, partially to help Steve along but partially to show him up, and he can't. Steve can't even remember to have it up and ready to go. That's part of his charm though. It could be done for him but people don't want to take away his charm. It's like going to one of those mom and pop coffee shops. |
| 6:33
| Steve forgetting the web poll is just a daily reminder of what a moron he is. It's a good morale booster for the troops. |
| 6:34
| Yesterday's web poll question was "How many movies will you see this summer?" Surprisingly 46% of the people said none. Steve only recently started going to the movies again because he found that Muvico place with the VIP seating. |
| 6:35
| That's where Matt Dahl is a waitress in the theater's restaurant. Steve likes to go up there and see him and ask him to bring him stuff. |
| 6:36
| A lot of people have DVD players and On Demand so they don't go to the movies as much. Buzz has all those things but he still likes going to the movies. Of course he's been going every weekend since he was 5 so it's a thing he does. |
| 6:37
| Buzz likes being in the theater because it completely cuts him off from everything else. If you're at home there are more distractions and you can stop it as many times as you want. |
| 6:38
| Steve can see why Buzz likes going to the movies though. Sometimes it's hard for him to deal with the people at the theater, he's always close to getting into a fight. |
| 6:39
| Buzz remembers being at a movie with Jonathan Demme and his mom, Doddie, in Florida. Buzz called her Odious Doddie. At some point during the movie Jonathan turned around and demanded that the guy behind him be quiet because he's distracting him. |
| 6:40
| In a situation like that you expect someone to pull out a gun but the guy backed down and kept quiet. Buzz was once told by Gene Siskel's people that he was chewing his popcorn too loudly at a screening. |
| 6:41
| Steve has anger issues so it's best that he stays home. He's working on getting better but he has territorial issues and pushiness issues. For some reason he's in a hurry to go nowhere. When they leave the theater he needs to be the first guy at the valet so he can go home and do nothing. |
| 6:42
| The best thing about Muvico is that you can select which seat you want to sit at. And they enforce that assigned seating. Although whenever Steve is there he spends the whole time wondering if he should have taken a different seat. |
| 6:43
| Then Steve wants to move to a different seat if the theater is empty but Janet doesn't want to. She wants to be in her assigned seat. |
| 6:44
| One thing Buzz really likes about the Imax theater is that you can pick your seat. Although for the 3-D movies it seems like you're better off letting them select for you. There's one seat in the theater that is the perfect one to be in and when they select for you they try to get you as close to that seat as possible. |
| 6:45
| The downfall of movie theaters is the lack of ushers. Back in the day they had ushers with flashlights and they didn't mess around. They'd had no problem kicking you out if you were disrupting the movie. |
| 6:46
| These days people are talking on the phone or doing their own dialogue during the movie. Buzz remembers a time in the early 80s when there was a rash of ushers being shot. That probably made a lot of people rethink their ushering dreams. |
| 6:47
| The first one Buzz remembers was at the Oriental Theater, which was disputed gang territory. Apparently the disputes went on day and night. Of course now that's the Ford Theater but before all that it was the Iroquois Theater, where over 600 people died in a fire. |
| 6:48
| As Steve said last week, it's interesting that most people don't even know that a fire occurred on that site. They just walk in and see Wicked. If a car crashes into a tree though there's a huge shrine put up. |
| 6:53
| Gotta love The Office. Gotta love Dwight Schrute too. How awesome was he at that night club last week? He was the only one pulling tail. |
| 6:54
| Caller Ed had a really interesting experience over the weekend. He and his wife went to a movie in Lake in the HIlls. Is there an actual lake in the hills? Is it a spring actually in the hills or is it a lake surrounded by hills? |
| 6:55
| Just after the previews they turned the lights on and an actual human usher came out and asked that everyone turn their cellphones off and respect other people. It was a nice touch and the kid took it seriously. |
| 6:56
| Ed's not sure if they do that all the time though. It's something movie theaters are going to have to start doing if they want to survive. |
| 6:57
| Ed won tickets to see John Mellencamp at Charter One Pavilion. Steve wouldn't mind going to see that or maybe he'll just pull his boat up. |
| 6:58
| After being at the Chicago Theater last night Steve decided he's going to do a one-man show for his 30th anniversary in Chicago. |
| 6:59
| They might block off the water near the Charter One Pavilion so you can't get your boat too close. Maybe Steve could use his showbiz connections. |
| 7:00
| Caller Gloria (G-L-O-R-I-A) was at the town theater in Highland, Indiana a few years ago. Right in the middle the lights come on, the curtain closes and the movie stops. Gloria thought it was a fire but her friend calmly told her to come with her. |
| 7:01
| The theater had set up a table with drinks, pies and popcorn and it was all free. Plus the price of the ticket wasn't that high either. |
| 7:02
| Gloria is from Crown Point but the movie was in Highland. Crown Point is where Hillary did the shot heard 'round the world. Gloria doesn't mind though, she likes a woman who can do a shot of whiskey. |
| 7:03
| Steve is on Hillary's mailing list, and all the candidate's lists, and she is really working that Chelsea. It seems like everyday she has a campaign event she's doing. |
| 7:04
| Gloria won a gift certificate to Nacional 27, formerly Hat Dance. Gloria also went here with her friend, who was one of the nurse's at Steve's vasectomy. Is Steve still enjoying a doctor/patient confidentiality on that? He doesn't need people talking about his willy. |
| 7:05
| Steve's vasectomy is like Disco Demolition, it seems like a lot of people were there. He must have been very groggy becuase he doesn't remember any of them. |
| 7:06
| Alright today's web poll question is "Is it possible to have 'too much' money?" When it comes to the ranks of the world's billionaires the fairer sex is the rarer sex. In 2008 Forbes counted 99 female billionaires. That's less than 9% of the world's billionaires. |
| 7:07
| It's not just the bank accounts that make us covetous. Many of these women are influential. It sounds like this guy is trying to get in someone's pants. In honor of these women they've selected a dozen they'd most like to be or meet. Only 10 women billionaires are self-made, of those they picked 4 to highlight. Oprah is first, she rose from hard-scrabble beginnings in rural Mississippi. Steve's guessing if you went back and looked she grew up middle-class. |
| 7:08
| Meg Whitman is the former president of eBay, she saw the site through a decade of busts and booms and is now one of the most influential women in Silicon Valley. Steve has pictures of all these women and they're hot. It helps that they're billionaires though. |
| 7:09
| Another bootstrapping female billionaire is J.K. Rowling who was at one time on welfare. That probably means she applied once for it. |
| 7:10
| Steve never really had it that rough. There was a time when he ate nothing but Kraft Mac & Cheese but that wasn't so bad. Buzz lived in the backseat of a car for about a week. It was tough because he didn't have access to a shower. |
| 7:11
| Steve had this first job in radio when he was 16 so he's been lucky. It wasn't the high-paying career it is now though. |
| 7:12
| JK Rowling is pretty hot on her own but the billion dollars doesn't hurt either. Then you've got 43-year old Chinese property developer Zhang Zhin. She runs Soho China with her husband. There's power-couple counterpart Pan Zhewi. |
| 7:13
| Zhin was reportedly forced to work in Hong Kong factories when she was 14. Now that's a hard luck story. It would be better for Steve if she was a sex worker though. Steve saw a photo of her, she was looking alright. They all look alright though. |
| 7:14
| Buzz always said that if he ever got kicked out of the house he'd go prostitute. Steve thinks he should go after one of these women. |
| 7:15
| Here's a really cute one, Hind Hariri, daughter of Rafik Hariri. She inherited his stake in the family's construction, media and banking concerns. Media, that's how Steve and Buzz get in the front door. They could pitch her on a show about a couple of crazy Americans who don't speak the language and aren't sure if they want to be suicide bombers. |
| 7:17
| So the web poll question is "Is it possible to have 'too much' money?" Steve remembers that one guy who won one of the first big lotteries in Illinois. |
| 7:18
| He used his money to buy a bowling alley and a bar and it didn't work out for him. Put your money in the bank, it'll double every 10 years. |
| 7:19
| When Steve wins the lottery he won't go off the tracks. His money is earmarked for his jet anyway. |
| 7:20
| There's one last duo of billionaires that Steve and Buzz should set their sights on. They're sisters from Spain, they're royalty and they're in construction. Steve really likes Spain, it might be his favorite place of all the places he's visited. |
| 7:21
| You can probably have too much money though. It seems like what you want is to just not have to worry about money. Even now when Steve goes to the gas station to fill up, he can't believe how much it is. |
| 7:22
| There's talk of oil going up to $200 a barrel. Someone needs to put a stop to that. What happened to the war and blood for oil? Blood has been spilled, where's the oil? |
| 7:23
| Steve saw something about how some alderman are turning in their gas receipts to get paid back. Only one guy wasn't doing it and he seemed pretty cool. He said it's hard to tell what is business and what isn't so he paid for it all himself. |
| 7:30
| Steve has a picture of that Zhang Zhin women, she's not bad. She is married though. Steve and Buzz need to get over to China. Or they could invite this women here to our Chinatown. |
| 7:31
| Steve's watched some more footage of that truck driver, his pants are definitely undone. He took off his close in the prison cell and went to the bathroom on the floor. So why was he released? |
| 7:32
| He's actually in the hospital now, voluntarily. But that was after he got out of jail. |
| 7:33
| The pill bottles they found in his truck were years old but that doesn't mean he wasn't taking anything. They haven't said what they were for but they were his. |
| 7:34
| Also that alderman deal with the gas, if you itemized gas expenses for work and did it wrong you'd get in trouble. It's very irritating and Steve doesn't even live here. He does pay some taxes though. |
| 7:35
| Live read: Joebees |
| 7:36
| Joe's been saying he doesn't have eyes but he does. He's learning stuff about himself, it's self-actualization. |
| 7:37
| It's time for Steve to take his bee pollen, he's still doubling-down. Joe's nickname around the hive is actually Buzz but it's a pretty common nickname. |
| 7:38
| Plus you've got Buzz Aldrin, who Joe flew with on the first manned flight to the moon. He was buzzing around some sandwiches in that white room and then he ended up in the rocket. |
| 7:39
| Joe did not go out on the surface though, he just stayed in the capsule and looked out the window. |
| 7:40
| Honey bees, like Joe, have compound eyes. They're made up of thousands of lenses called facets. |
| 7:41
| The compound eye has the advantage of detecting movement. They also have three smaller eyes in addition to the compound eyes. |
| 7:42
| Honey bees perceive a very broad color range but can only differentiate between six colors, yellow, blue-green, blue, violet, ultraviolet and also "bee's purple". Joe would love to see Buzz in a bee purple shirt. |
| 7:43
| Joe's microphone has fallen off of it's stand and it's very heavy. He looks like a stand-up comedian. He'll be here all week, try the honey. |
| 7:44 | The first 5 people who order Joebees today get a free Joebees t-shirt. That's with the purchase of a 6th month supply. |
| 7:45
| Mark Czerniec is our director of information services. Yesterday he laid some honey bee stuff on him which is where he got the eye info from. Steve told him to post it again today so he did. |
| 7:46
| Then right in the middle of Steve reading about the eyes he posts some more info but it's all bit killer info. |
| 7:47
| Basically, only female bees have stingers. Does Steve need to know that? Everyone liked the stinger, no one said anything about it. And now Steve's mic won't stay up. |
| 7:53
| Alright Steve has his mic straightened out. Joe Bee is a typical guy, claiming he has something that he doesn't have. Steve can work with that but it's still a downer right in the middle of the bit. |
| 7:54
| Mark likes to drop those nuggets of info at the worst time. He had probably had it up to here with the stinger talk. Hit Steve with that after the show so he has a day to work something new out. |
| 7:55
| Mark's a bit of a naturalist, he was probably just waiting to drop that on Steve. |
| 7:56
| We're giving away tickets to Stevie Nicks, could Pete play the sound that's going to trigger the giveaway? Don't call in now though. |
| 7:57
| Steve walked over to the Chicago Theater yesterday and he passed by a place called Old Timers. It's a coffee shop and it seems like the kind of place Steve and Buzz should go after the show to have breakfast. |
| 7:58
| They'll sit in the corner and read newspapers, taking notes on them like they're going to use them for the show. Then they'll just leave them behind. |
| 7:59
| Steve was reminded of the fine Will Ferrell and Dave Grohl duet of Leather & Lace. It's very funny. So that's what he selected for the contest. |
| 8:00
| Steve can't play all the song without some heavy editing. Some of it's profane and some of it might be libelous. |
| 8:01
| At one point this was supposed to be a Steve Dahl tribute show and then it turned into Jumpin' Jack Bash. So now it's just a concert Jack is involved in. Steve would totally jam it out with Stevie Nicks though. |
| 8:02
| Caller Bill wanted to fill Steve in on Old Timers, it might not be what he thinks it is. Around lunchtime it's very blue collar. Steve's fine with that although today he's wearing a yellow collar. |
| 8:03
| A lot of iron workers like to head over to Old Timers and knock back a few. That's what Steve and Buzz are looking for, an old man bar where you can get pancakes. |
| 8:04
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:05
| Alright we've got the news coming up but first Steve needs to call down to Jim's office. |
| 8:06
| Yesterday Steve told Adam to get an intern in here. He has applications but he just keeps interviewing people. Adam is a bit of a corporate animal. Steve took him away from CBS corporate but then he was at that thing yesterday. |
| 8:07
| Adam might want to go back to the corporate world, he probably doesn't like the looseness of the Steve Dahl Show. Buzz appreciated Adam's attentiveness at yesterday's event though because he didn't know anyone. |
| 8:08
| Adam won't pull the trigger on any of these interns, he prefers the corporate, never-get-anything-done mentality. Steve made him pull the trigger though and he has an intern in here today. |
| 8:09
| He won't let her go though, he's like a dog humping someone's leg. Apparently he had her in the newsroom and Buzz put on a nice Broadcast News show for her. |
| 8:10
| Steve is being told it was actually Bob and Ron who got the show. Steve changed the story to meet his own comedic needs. Jim wasn't sure if he should go along with it or say something. It's not like Buzz needs to show off for the female intern anyway, he's got a beard. |
| 8:11
| Why is Steve hearing Bob and Ron laughing? They're like the peanut gallery. So they got the show, Buzz needed to change some last-minute audio. Then Steve feels bad because he never gets to the news. |
| 8:12
| It's funnier to think of Buzz doing that for the intern but she'll be here all summer so there's plenty of time for that. Buzz saw her in the lobby this morning and checked her out and then came up here. Then 2 minutes later Adam brought her up. He might have made her wait to pay her dues. |
| 8:13
| Then Adam said that he hoped Buzz would have the time to show her how he does his job. But then he put on a fine display for Bob and Ron. Sometimes things have to be done and when it happens maybe it's classic. |
| 8:14
| Bob and Ron liked it though and it happens on a regular basis. There is no time crunch in the studio but Buzz has to get things done before he comes into the studio. He needs to know what he has and then Steve sits on it for an hour. |
| 8:15
| Bob and Ron did find it exhilarating though, they'll be blogging about it later. Steve didn't mean to change it around but maybe they should take the intern to Old Timers and she can see them take notes on the newspapers. |
| 8:16
| We'll have Bob and Ron on a little later. How are they doing? Steve doesn't really care that they were on but he heard them laughing and he wasn't sure who it was. He hears voices and not all of them are productive. |
| 8:17
| They're all entertaining as hell though. Right now Steve has one telling him to build an ark. But that could just mean he should put his boat in the water. |
| 8:18
| Caller Mike wanted to let Steve know that Buzz is talking about the Amarillo Cheese Fries at Outback. He can see why it's the worst dish for you, it's just cheese and bacon with some fries thrown in. |
| 8:19
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Wednesday which means it's time for a Story Outside the Bun. |
| 8:20
| Here's a story from long-time listener Mike Littleton. Around 1980 Mike and his friends were out drinking and their hunger circuits were 100% engaged. |
| 8:21
| Mike and his friends sat out in front of Taco Bell eating. He chowed down the first 6 pack and then went to get another 6. After that he was still hungry to he got more. |
| 8:22
| As with all feats of excess his friends began cheering him on to new taco heights. Doesn't Buzz live in Taco Heights? It's a gated community. |
| 8:23
| Mike ate 19 tacos but he can't remember if he ran out of money or if he just wasn't hungry any more. |
| 8:29
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 8:30
| News with Buzz |
| 8:31
| There's been another campus shooting, this time at Florida Atlantic University. This one too place at a late-night dorm party. |
| 8:32
| Meanwhile at NIU, Cole Hall will not be demolished, that's according to an email sent out by university president John Peters, not the hairdresser. |
| 8:33
| Angry, appalled and distressed, those are some of the reactions Barack Obama had to his former reverend. It was in response to Jeremiah Wright's appearance at the National Press Club. He did a greatest hits at that thing. |
| 8:34
| It's certainly helping Hillary but none of this should matter. Who cares if Obama had a crazy pastor? |
| 8:35
| George Bush is excited about the progress we're making in Afghanistan. You can almost hear the spit flying. He's jacked up coming off that great stand-up appearance at the White House Press Corps dinner. |
| 8:36
| A 26-year-old woman has been charged after she put her son in an oven. Do you put that on bake or convection? |
| 8:37
| The South Carolina teenager accused of wanting to blow up his school and become a suicide bomber apparently had higher aspirations. Once he got to heaven he was going to kill Jesus. Wow. Steve is guessing Jesus is very inaccessible if you're in heaven. He's almost like Howard Hughes because he's too popular. |
| 8:38
| Albert Hoffman, the Swiss chemist who discovered LSD has died at the age of 102. He got some on his hands, licked it and then went tripping. |
| 8:39
| Buzz knew a guy involved in government sponsored testing of LSD. He was one of only 5 people in the world who were taking acid, as far as he knew. It wasn't until years later that it became a cultural phenomenon. He said it was actually very lonely. |
| 8:40
| The guy was a biker before the testing but afterwards he had a religious awakening, became an artist and lived in this little house with a couple of 300 pound tapirs and 400 turtles. |
| 8:41
| Another cougar was spotted early this morning near the intersection of California and Lawrence. It was probably on it's way back from The Admiral. |
| 8:42
| Before Steve gets to Pat Boyle, who's on the phone, he's got something on his TiVo that he wants to play before he loses it. |
| 8:43
| It's a clip of the Girls Gone Wild video with the Eliot Spitzer girl. She's in a bath tub and it looks hot. How do you order something like that? |
| 8:44
| Only 4% of people surveyed are miserable and believe they have nothing to look forward to. Isn't Pete one of those people? |
| 8:45
| From our marine bureau, scientists studying the carcass of a giant squid measure it's eye as being 11 inches across. |
| 8:46
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Both baseball teams lost last night. The Cubs lost to Ben Sheets, a nice normal name, while the Sox lost to Boof Bonzer. You can't lose to a guy named Boof. |
| 8:47
| They only scored 1 run too and that's what's been happening with them. They're very low in the league in batting average. |
| 8:48
| The Cubs are still doing OK but they've lost 4 of their last 5. They scored runs last night but the bullpen didn't look good. Did they boo Lee Elia at the game? |
| 8:49
| Pat didn't see him once on camera and he wasn't mentioned on the broadcast. C'mon Cubs, get over yourselves! He should have sang the 7th Inning Stretch. But then again when you can get a James Van Der Beek to do it... |
| 8:50
| We're a little pressed for time right now, apparently Steve's been rambling today. Is there anything else we need to know? The Hawks are moving to WGN for their radio coverage. |
| 8:51
| Steve met Ted Phillips at the CBS thing yesterday, he seemed like a really good guy. He didn't give Steve any insight about contracts or anything. |
| 8:52
| If Steve find anything out he wouldn't say it now when Pat asks him point blank. He's not going to burn a source like that! The worst thing that happened was Rod Zimmerman working on behalf of CBS off of Steve's season tickets. |
| 8:53
| Ted did agree with Steve that Brian Urlacher is killing a lot of the goodwill he had from this city. Some how he survived the divorce and the out-of-wedlock kid, he's got Miss Hawaiian Tropic on his arm now and he got through all of that. But now he's whining about his contract? |
| 8:54
| He could be making more from endorsement money if he shaped up a bit though. |
| 8:55
| Steve was excited to meet the president of the Bears and he actually knew who he was. Steve told him to tell Jerry Angelo to lay off the tanning a bit. Not really, he doesn't want the Bears yanking his tickets. They're like a government, they can do whatever they want. |
| 9:03
| That sounds like Ladies Night at the Rose Garden. Bush doesn't care any more, he's out of office soon, the wife is in Naperville telling kids to read. Why do you need to tell kids to read? |
| 9:04
| Kids don't need to be told to read, they have no other choice. They make you read in school. This is why Steve might have to become more aggressive with his Reading is for Losers campaign. |
| 9:05
| Alright Bob and Ron here with some rock history. Steve's much more interested in the dogwalking than the rock history. |
| 9:06
| Actually just this week one of Bob's clients discovered that he was on the show. Bob had to make it clear that everything Steve says is part of the Bob and Ron character. |
| 9:07
| Steve might have said something about Bob wearing a client's underwear when he was at her house. Again he had to make it clear that it's just a character. |
| 9:08
| Bob and Ron have also never blown pot smoke into a dog's face. They would never waste the pot anyway. |
| 9:09
| Steve keeps telling Bob and Ron this but they need to get into Matt Dahl's life and make it so he never has an excuse to bring his dog out to the house. |
| 9:10
| Steve likes Walter but he doesn't need a third dog at the house. He has enough trouble with his two dogs. |
| 9:11
| Steve is not suggesting anything untoward. Whenever Matt comes out to the house he has to bring the dog because he doesn't have the proper shots to go into a kennel and Matt can't just leave him home. |
| 9:12
| So if Bob and Ron could walk the dog whenever Matt wants to come out to the house he won't have to bring it. Because the whole scenario is set up where it looks like Steve doesn't want Matt to come over. |
| 9:13
| Then Matt gets pouty about it. Maybe Buzz could stage a biting with the dog or something? |
| 9:14
| Then Steve hears about Matt needing the dog because he's lonely. Based on what Steve knows he's not lonely. Every time he talks to him he's just getting home at 5 am. |
| 9:15
| There Steve is working for Matt and Brendan yesterday at that CBS thing and he can't even get cooperation on the dog thing. |
| 9:16
| Buzz lives very close to Matt and he would bring the dog over because the kid would love it. But when John Spiegel brought his dog over Buzz freaked out. It was the first time a dog had ever been in the house. |
| 9:17
| That's sort of how Steve feels with Matt's dog. Matt's dog gets treated like a grandchild and gets to do stuff that the other dogs don't get to do. He can only imagine what it'll be like in the summer when he's out there swimming. |
| 9:18
| Steve might need to get Caesar the Dog Whisperer. It seems like he gets the job done although there usually isn't a follow-up. |
| 9:27
| Bob and Ron are here, as his Chef Hans but first Steve has some David Blaine on Oprah that he has to share. |
| 9:28
| The way they're talking about it is ridiculous. It's like they're curing cancer but they're just talking about a guy holding his breath. |
| 9:29
| It's a magic trick, is Steve the only other one who knows this? You can't hold your breath for 16 minutes. Steve doesn't know how he's doing it but it's a magic trick. |
| 9:30
| Oprah says it's not an illusion or a gimmick. It might not be an illusion but it's definitely a gimmick. |
| 9:31
| Although Oprah thinks it's important research into holding your breath. Hopefully one day the girls in her African school can learn how to do the same thing. What if her girls are walking by a pile of stinky dung that takes 16 minutes to get past? |
| 9:32
| There are two wars going on, there's Darfur, there's all this stuff and Oprah is focusing on this guy holding his breath? |
| 9:33
| Caller Ed is a paramedic and he teachers CPR. After between 4 to 6 minutes your brain tissue starts to suffer irreversible damage. So that's how David Blaine is going to come out of this? |
| 9:34
| Sometimes if you go into really cold water the damage takes longer to occur, like that little kid who fell into the lake. |
| 9:35
| However David Blaine is not going to hold his breath for 16 minutes and then be able to talk to Oprah afterwards. |
| 9:36
| Caller Brad is wondering why this kid who fell into the lake and was there for 15 minutes doesn't have some world record? |
| 9:37
| What Brad is saying is we should all keep a stopwatch on us and be mindful of witnesses in case a family member falls into a body of water. |
| 9:38
| Steve would like to see an Oprah show about kids falling into lakes. |
| 9:39
| Steve's going to go past this part because they've said the same thing over and over again. |
| 9:40
| Oprah's the one subjecting him to this but she's acting like she can't believe anyone would do this too him. Someone has to put a stop to this. |
| 9:41
| Does Oprah know there are kids at Children's Memorial going in for leukemia treatment right now? Meanwhile this idiot is in a giant glass bubble in her studio pretending to hold his breath. |
| 9:42
| Is Steve the only person who doesn't care about this other than that he'd like to see David Blaine die? Wouldn't that be great for Oprah? |
| 9:43
| She takes that guy who wrote A Million Little Pieces to task for a few white lies but she's got this knucklehead holding his breath for 16 minutes like he's God. |
| 9:50
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 9:51
| Alright Bob and Ron are here, as is Chef Hans. Hans has been holding his breath and he's almost at the record. |
| 9:52
| Steve has been reading up on this stuff and it's all done by inhaling pure oxygen. If you can store that in your body you can appear to be holding your breath for 16 minutes. |
| 9:53
| So then what's the point of doing this? It's not the same as holding your breath if you're juicing up with pure oxygen. |
| 9:54
| Steve's offering a million dollars to someone to seal up David Blaine's bubble. Then there's a bunch of idiots in the audience who are really impressed. |
| 9:55
| Why can't a truck driver plow into that group? Why does he have to plow into a crowd of hard-working people trying to get to work? |
| 9:56
| He came out after 17 minutes and he's coughing a little bit. He's got the wet lung papa. |
| 9:57
| Why are people congratulating Oprah for this? She did construct the bubble that he was in. Now it's probably on the way to her place so she can put Steadman in it. |
| 9:58
| That bubble is actually the same size as Oprah's ass. It's a booty bubble. |
