 |
 |
|
| 5:32
| Good morning everyone, live from downtown Chicago's Prudential Plaza which has two buildings for your amusement. |
| 5:33
| The first building has windows that look like they belong on a cruise ship and the second building looks like it belongs in Metropolis or the movie Metropolis. Steve doesn't really know what he's talking about but it sounds good doesn't it? |
| 5:34
| And of course we were enjoying the sounds of Skid Row, as requested by Buzz before the show started. I Remember You is a single from Skid Row's debut album, Skid Row. Steve believes they'd call that an ephonymous album. |
| 5:35
| Steve's trying to look up ephonymous but he can't find a spelling. Usually Google will correct your spelling with a "Did you mean..?" The word is eponymous and it means of a person giving their name to something. Which high school drop out has a good vocabulary?! In the pronunciation there's a backwards, upside-down E, how do you pronounce that? |
| 5:36
| In a recent interview Skid Row's lead singer Sebastian Bach said that I Remember You was the number one prom song in America in 1990. Even if that's not true he can say it because how can you really know? |
| 5:37
| And now Skid Row is probably working the county fair circuit. It's probably good money but if there are 3,000 people there to see you there are another 10,000 walking around eating corn dogs who don't care about you. That's why Steve never liked doing that circuit. |
| 5:38
| Yesterday Steve got an email from our program director Todd Cavanah. He actually has some other title but Steve usually just refers to him as Todd. It's a forward from Todd, subject line "Steve speaking with a full mouth" |
| 5:39
| Steve always enjoys when someone goes around him and right to the boss, it really brings him and the listener closer. The emailer asks Todd to please, with about 10 E's in it, get Steve to stop talking with his mouth full. |
| 5:40
| When the emailer hears the TB gong, he has to switch to the news. Steve assumes TB doesn't mean Tampa Bay or tuberculosis. Also it's a bell, not a gong. |
| 5:41
| The emailer might be oversensitive but whenever he hears Steve talking with his mouth full he gets physically ill. That does sound oversensitive. However when Steve was describing the Cheesy Beefy Melt it sounded so good. This guy is trying to get some free food right? |
| 5:42
| He says that he tried to go get one twice but was so overcome with thinking about Steve eating with his mouthful that he had to leave. That sounds far-fetched and apocryphal. He says he also emailed Taco Bell. Thanks pal! And Todd doesn't find any of this troubling. |
| 5:43
| In the world that Steve lives in we send someone out to deal with this guy. We don't forward the email to Steve with a smiley face thinking it's funny. And then there's the standard fake closing, like vacuuming your footprints out of the room you just cleaned, where the guy says he's been listening since whenever. |
| 5:44
| He'll continue being a loyal listener, except for when he want to email Steve's boss and one of his biggest sponsors. He would also prefer Steve didn't see this note becuase he's worried it'll just cause Steve to eat more on the air. Kudos to Todd for at least sending this to Steve. |
| 5:45
| There's no way this guy went to Taco Bell and then had to leave. If he did then he has other problems that he needs help for. And if he's been listening for as long as he claims he has he's heard Steve eat everything on the air. |
| 5:51
| That's Chet Coppock eating on the air and Steve thinks it sounds delightful. Chet had a big mouth too so there was probably enough food in there to feed an African nation. Chet was eating a Cobb salad, talking to Tommy Lasorda. The Cobb salad is fake healthy. It's a salad but it's not healthy. |
| 5:52
| Alright time for the web poll. Of course Steve can't remember yesterday's web poll. Buzz remembers it though, it was "Is it possible to have too much money?" |
| 5:53
| Don't forget to be listening for a clip of Will Ferrell and Dave Grohl for a chance to win Stevie Nicks tickets. She's playing at Northerly Island on June 14th. It's Flag Day but is that also D-Day? Because Steve was thinking it would be cool if she arrived on Northerly Island in some sort of landing craft, like a Wisconsin Duck. |
| 5:54
| Steve could probably Google D-Day although he might get info about the guy who played D-Day in Animal House. He's been in a lot of other stuff although Steve can't remember right now. |
| 5:55
| Jim says the guy was also on MacGyver. MacGyver?! That's like a 20-year-old TV show Steve didn't watch. He was out getting stoned. Steve calls down to the newsroom. |
| 5:56
| MacGyver?! Jim was trying to think of something that actor was in on a regular basis and he figured it was something Buzz would know. Buzz was probably out getting stoned too. He was just in Vantage Point which Steve and Buzz both saw. That's the one with Dennis Quaid and the President gets shot right? |
| 5:57
| There was also a movie where that guy was a butcher sleeping with someone's wife and then he killed her. He's gone on to do other stuff but he's most well-known for his work on MacGyver, at least to Jim. It was right in Jim's wheel house, it was a big show when he was in junior high. She he probably enjoyed the Skid Row too right? |
| 5:58
| How did Jim's dog enjoy the Cubs game last night? It was a drubbing, even after the Cubs took their starters out. The Cubs actually had fans playing, Steve saw David Wexler out there. He had three RBIs, he's a good player. |
| 5:59
| Jim's dog is actually named Chance as in Tinkers to Evers to Chance. He does watch the game with the dog but all she does is sit there sleeping. As Steve has said before, what are dogs so tired from? It's probably taxing to think about the different positions in which you can sleep. |
| 6:00
| Buzz has found a D-Day action figure online. There's actually an entire series of Animal House action figures. They've got Flounder, Bluto...Steve's all over that. Now we know what to get Buzz for Christmas. |
| 6:01
| Caller Mike is in Rogers Park. Does he live near Pete? Was he anywhere near the murder that took place last week? He used to live near there but now he's closer to the Metra tracks. He's like Goldilocks looking for that place in Rogers Park that's just right. |
| 6:02
| MIke says that Buzz might know Bruce McGill, who played D-Day, from the very last Quantum Leap. That's not obscure at all. That makes Jim's MacGyver reference seem mass appeal. |
| 6:03
| Buzz is wondering why Mike would think this interests him. He thought Buzz was a Quantum Leap fan, as did Steve. It does seem like something he'd like and he is a big Dean Stockwell fan but Buzz found his comedy on that show to be irritating. |
| 6:04
| Journeyman was a recent show that was similar to Quantum Leap although it was more serious. Buzz likes time travel but only when it's serious. Although there's a case to be made for Bill & Ted, that's goofy time travel at it's best. |
| 6:05
| Caller Matt wanted to let Steve know that June 14th is also Flag Day. Didn't Steve already say that? She could come in and drape herself in a flag. |
| 6:06
| Caller Chris thinks Steve might know Bruce McGill as the sheriff in My Cousin Vinny. He's really bringing it all home isn't he? Steve's done with this topic, step away from the phone Brendan. It's like Bruce McGill quicksand. |
| 6:07
| Alright today's web poll question is "Which TV talk show do you prefer?" Steve isn't even listing Oprah as an option after yesterday's David Blaine episode. That was like the perfect storm of hate for Steve. |
| 6:08
| David Blaine is a magician so it's obviously that him holding his breath for 17 minutes was a trick! There are ways to oxygenate your blood so you can hold your breath for 17 minutes. |
| 6:09
| Then when he was done Oprah acted like he'd cured cancer. Then she talked to him about it for 15 minutes after that. She acted like there was some sort of message to mankind contained within that episode. |
| 6:10
| Steve watched Ellen, Rachel Ray and The View actually. Ellen is a low-key show but Steve might be watching Rachel Ray for all the wrong reasons. |
| 6:11
| Buzz is looking at a photo of Bruce McGill, turns out he's one of his favorite actors. He knows him best from Wolf Lake. That was a show about a community of werewolves just trying to make their way in the world. It takes everything you've got. |
| 6:12
| CBS and The Young and The Restless lead daytime Emmy nominations for the 35th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards. |
| 6:13
| ABC chatfest The View picked up 7 nominations and The Ellen DeGeneres Show had 8. This year the talk-show category was split up into two categories, entertainment and informative. Ellen, Rachel Ray and The View are all nominated as entertainment while PBS' A Place of Our Own, Dr. Phil and The Tyra Banks Show are all informative. Those last two are informative? |
| 6:14
| So they'll probably announce the regular Emmy's soon right? They're the same Emmy's right? Are the daytime Emmy's smaller? Steve has an Emmy for Greetings From Graceland but it's made of plastic. It's also broken. |
| 6:15
| Since it was plastic the Emmy was not engraved. Later they sent Steve a metal nameplate that you had to stick onto the base. It's like something you'd get at Restoration Hardware. |
| 6:16
| It was vindicating for Steve to win that award. Then he got on stage and started ripping into Joe Ahern and was blackballed from the industry. Sometimes Steve just can't help himself on stage. |
| 6:17
| The other day at that CBS function he dropped an S-bomb on stage. It didn't seem like it got a bad reaction but at the time Steve couldn't believe he said it. He realized he'd be the only person who swore at the event. |
| 6:18
| Steve didn't want to come off like one of the suits so he had no choice. The audience seemed a little tight and they weren't laughing that much. Lately when that happens Steve decides they're not laughing because they're in awe of him. |
| 6:19
| It's actually too bad they weren't laughing because Rod Zimmerman said something funny things while he was up on stage. |
| 6:26
| If David Blaine's mother, who passed away, would have been with him while he was holding his breath underwater there would have been more water displaced. Although maybe not since she's a ghost. |
| 6:27
| How is something like that on a main TV station? Shouldn't it be on some sort of psychic network or magic channel? Oprah's a fraud! When it comes right down to it she'll do anything for ratings. |
| 6:28
| Buzz remembers holding his breath for the entire length of a pool as he did 4 laps. Do we need to book him on Oprah now? Buzz could sit there in his wetsuit talking to Oprah about his experience. |
| 6:29
| Of course there was that woman who tried to get her kids to break the record for holding their breath underwater but that wasn't voluntarily. What about that kid who went into the lake a few weeks ago? Shouldn't he get recognition, at least in the junior division? |
| 6:30
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 6:31
| Steve has two things in the Tribune today. Of course there's the column in the At Play section, there's a link on Dahl.com. Email the article to your friends, Steve likes to have the most emailed article of the day. |
| 6:32
| The headline says that Steve needs to have the last word, even in an email. That's sort of a miscategorization. But they want to grab the readers. It'll grab the people who like and dislike Steve. |
| 6:33
| Steve's also in the sports section because U.S. Cellular beat out Wrigley Field in a Sports Illustrated poll about baseball stadiums. |
| 6:34
| Neither of them were in the top 5 thought but U.S. Cellular was 8th and Wrigley was 15th. There's one column by Ron Santo, as told to Paul Sullivan, about why Wrigley Field is number 1 to him. |
| 6:35
| Steve's neighbor's son, Matt Lynch, works for the Tribune sport section. He asked Steve to write an article but Steve told him he should write it. So it's Steve, as told to Matt Lynch. |
| 6:36
| Two things in the Tribune today, there ya go. Who's happening Buzz? Buzz would like to see Steve branch out to plays. He's got a script that he's writing, it's about up to 80 pages. |
| 6:37
| Speaking of that Buzz saw that Bob Odenkirk has a new TV project coming up. What about the Disco Demolition movie? Someone needs to get Bob off this project, especially after Steve saw who Bob wants to play him. It's that fat kid with curly hair form Balls of Fury. That's what Steve looks like?! |
| 6:39
| Steve was only bemused by someone wanting Will Smith to play him but this kid from Balls of Fury?! |
| 6:40
| If you have Will Smith attached to a movie it probably gets greenlit. They did have a black version of The Honeymooners with Cedric the Entertainer so they could do the black Steve Dahl story. They could blow up rock records and Morgan Freeman could play Garry Meier. They could blow up Who records at a Negro League game, it's basically the same story. |
| 6:41
| So Bob Odenkirk has a new TV show that he's worked on with David Cross. He should be working on the Disco Demolition movie. Although it seems like he's been drummed out of the movie business after his last 3 films failed. |
| 6:42
| Maybe Steve will just rewrite the script himself. No one else is going to tell how it really happened. In Hollywood though someone always has to mess with something and get their hands in it. The script has probably been changed so it's Howard Stern and Bababooey at a Yankees game. |
| 6:43
| Caller Jules wanted to point out that Will Smith did play a black James West in Wild Wild West. So maybe he could play a black Steve Dahl. How about Bill Cosby as Harry Caray? |
| 6:44
| Caller Tom was thinking Beyonce could play Lorelei from The Loop. He was also thinking Martin Lawrence as Jimmy Piersall. How about Morgan Freeman for the Buzz part? Who would play Janet? Steve was thinking Oprah. |
| 6:45
| Steve wasn't actually at the meeting where someone suggested Will Smith for the part. He was late to the meeting because the time and location got changed. |
| 6:46
| Caller Bill thinks the kid who played Urkel would make a great Garry Meier. Also Halle Berry should play Janet. Steve likes Oprah for that role because then he'd have access to her $2.5 billion. |
| 6:47
| Steve has talked to Bob Teitel about it but he's also busy doing his own projects. Maybe Steve will just kick everyone off the project and do it himself. |
| 6:48
| Buzz thinks it's a movie that needs to be made. It's a cultural reference point for a lot of people. |
| 6:49
| Ultimately Hollywood people are just trying to do what's best for them. Someone suggested that Steve try to raise the money in Chicago. If he was going to do that why would he need anyone else? |
| 6:50
| What about Jonathan Demme, would he be interested? Buzz feels if Demme does the project then he'd be able to get Oprah. We wouldn't really need Oprah though at that point. |
| 6:56
| Some guy hung up during the break but he was going to point out that Michael Clarke Duncan was at Disco Demolition. He could be in the movie if it gets made, maybe that's where they got the idea for Will Smith. |
| 6:57
| Steve might just take the project over himself but it seems like a lot of work. It's a lot of meetings but he's already been to a lot of meetings. They had deals in place but they weren't good enough to some people. |
| 6:58
| That's how things are in Hollywood, you have 3 things going on at once trying to get the best one. Steve was at a meeting where they had a deal to make it but he was overruled. |
| 6:59
| Speaking of Will Smith, can Buzz tell the story about the time he told the high school kids to "get jiggy with it"? Buzz never said that did he? He was speaking at a predominantly black high school, telling them that in order to get on TV to do the news you have to talk like a white person. That got their attention, he kept it real. |
| 7:00
| Then they asked him about his taste in music and he said he liked Will Smith. Then he was hooted at. That's when he said "C'mon kids, I like to get jiggy with it" |
| 7:01
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:02
| News with Buzz |
| 7:03
| Today is the 5th anniversary of President Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech on the deck of the U.S.S. Lincoln. The big mistake made by the White House was the giant "Mission Accomplished" banner in the background. |
| 7:04
| Nelson Mandela is one of several members of South Africa's Africa National Congress that's on a U.S. terrorist watch list. The list was actually updated recently and he was still on there. |
| 7:05
| It seems like all these lists don't really do anything for us. Sure it kept Cat Stevens out of the country but Steve still has to take his shoes and pants off at airport security. |
| 7:06
| A Congressional hearing today will address rocketing food prices. They'll examine the impact on poor families. Steve's going to say it's a struggle for them. |
| 7:07
| The Federal Reserve lowered interest rates to 2%, the lowest it's been since 2004. |
| 7:08
| China is now the number 1 source of carbon dioxide. A new study shows it has overtaken the U.S. in CO2 emissions. Just in time for the Olympics! |
| 7:09
| What is Steve looking at on TV right now? Standby, we're going to need to pause and reverse. There was a girl with some bizarre goiter and something coming out of her mouth. |
| 7:10
| Some girl had a 16 pound tumor growing out of her face and it was cutting off her air supply and making it hard for her to eat. Ya think?! |
| 7:11
| A man in Ohio miraculous grew back part of his finger that was sliced off by an airplane propeller. Is he part lizard? |
| 7:12
| The man's brother works in the field of tissue regeneration and gave him a special powder, which he calls pixie dust. After 10 days the man's finger tip regrew, bone, nail and all. Is this from The Onion? |
| 7:13
| Starting today active U.S. Military personal in full uniform get free rides on CTA buses and trains. You have to be in uniform though. They could probably swing the $2 right? |
| 7:14
| Drew Peterson is offering $25,000 in reward money that leads to the return of his wife Stacy, alive. That's right. |
| 7:15
| The cougar shot in Roscoe Village last month could have traveled from as far away as South Dakota to Chicago. |
| 7:16
| They have a lot of cougars out west although they're called mountain lions. They're actually pumas though, like the shoes. |
| 7:17
| Steve's pretty sure that male cougars get kicked out of their den early in life. So he probably was looking for a lady and he came all the way to Chicago. He got shot and all he was trying to do was get laid. |
| 7:18
| A North Texas woman yelled rape and then her husband shot and killed the suspect. But the woman is the one on trial for manslaughter. That's because her husband came home to find his wife having sex with a man in a truck. |
| 7:19
| That prompted the woman to yell that she was being raped so her husband shot him. She later admitted that she was willingly having sex with the victim. |
| 7:26
| Steve would like to see the after on that girl who had the tumor removed. The girl and the tumor will be on Oprah seeing who can hold their breath the longest. |
| 7:27
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 7:28
| Red Bull is seeing red over bars passing off other energy drinks as their product. Hillary Clinton says she's never heard of Red Bull. Seriously? That's frightening. Has she heard of TV? |
| 7:29
| A Chicago nightclub was ordered to pay more than $500,000 in damages after people working undercover for Red Bull ordered Red Bull and Vodka drinks that were mixed using a different energy drink. |
| 7:30
| Steve could work undercover for Red Bull, he'd hit the lunchtime crowd. He wouldn't be mixing anything into the Red Bull though. |
| 7:31
| The judgment against Wet nightclub at 209 W. Lake marked the 4th time that Red Bull has successfully sued a bar over trademark in the last year. |
| 7:32
| Steve has a Wet Vip card. Actually it's Brendan's, he's probably out there using Steve's name to get into these places. Sadly the card has never been used. |
| 7:33
| Every time Brendan cleans out his wallet he thinks about throwing the card out. But there could be that one night where he goes to Wet and doesn't want to pay the cover. |
| 7:34
| Wet is pretty close to the studio, Steve could base himself out of there. We could have pre-show meetings there. Thursday into Friday is European night, let's do it. |
| 7:35
| Steve's trying to get on the website but it's not coming up on his computer. This card Brendan has his 5 years old though. |
| 7:36
| Steve has seen Brendan dancing so he can only imagine what he's like at a club. He just herds all the women into a corner and starts grinding into them. He's like Rowdy Yates. |
| 7:37
| Brendan better start using this car. Or maybe Steve should just hang on to it. You have to buy a $500 bottle of vodka for the VIP section but after that the women flock to you. |
| 7:38
| Then do Steve and Brendan make it rain with a bag of one dollar bills? You're supposed to use 20s but they'll start with ones. |
| 7:39
| They could bring the girls from the show and use them as bait. Mary, Stephanie and the new intern could come, if Adam hasn't put her in a trunk yet. |
| 7:40
| We haven't seen Adam for two days since she started. He did make sure to ask everyone to individually show the intern what they do. |
| 7:41
| Why would she want to know what Steve and Buzz know or do? They're talking to Brendan who's had a Wet VIP card in his wallet for the last 5 years and has never used it. And Steve and Buzz want to go there and use the girls on the show as bait. |
| 7:42
| Steve hasn't even seen the intern today. Buzz hasn't seen her since 5:30 yesterday. Steve saw her before the show yesterday and his body language couldn't have been any more clear, he didn't want to talk to anyone. He actually said that and then went into the Green Room. |
| 7:43
| Then the door flies open and there's Adam trying to introduce Steve to Clarissa or whatever her name is. Steve hopes to go he doesn't click on a picture on this Wet website of Adam and the new intern. |
| 7:44
| OK back to the Red Bull article. Red Bull is going after high-profile bars and trying to make examples of them. They want to defend their brand according to Brian Morgan, a senior research analyst at Euromonitor International. Really? Steve could have figured that out. |
| 7:45
| The case against Wet began in 2004. That's when Red Bull employee Angela Latino went to the nightclub and ordered an Absolut and Red Bull. She got a cocktail made with a different energy drink. |
| 7:46
| Latino asked the bartended what energy drink was used and he replied that it was something from the gun. |
| 7:47
| Over the next several years a dozen Red Bull "scouts" and PI's visited the nightclub and were also served substitute energy drinks. It's like when cops have to go to a massage parlor 10 times before they bust it. |
| 7:48
| One bartender told a Red Bull scout that the drink was just a generic term for energy drinks. That's your lawsuit right there. |
| 7:49
| Caller Brent wanted to let Steve know that if he goes to Wet for pre-show meetings he won't get Red Bull. Later in the article it says that Red Bull doesn't distribute the drink to bars in the gun form. |
| 7:50
| Brent wanted to do his Brendan impersonation. Even Brendan does an impersonation of himself. |
| 7:57
| That's The Office from last week where Dwight and Michael went clubbing. Steve's pretty sure Ryan was doing some cocaine in that episode. |
| 7:58
| Steve's guessing that if those Red Bull people kept going to Wet and were getting an energy drink out of a gun they knew it wasn't Red Bull. |
| 7:59
| Wet should have just gone ahead and bought Red Bull in a can. They can charge a fortune for a Red Bull and vodka that way. |
| 8:00
| Steve has a Red Bull fridge in his Green Room, he's going to have a sugar-free Red Bull right now. Maybe he should open up a club in there. He wouldn't charge a cover except when there are dancers. |
| 8:01
| There'd be a line down the hall with Brendan manning the velvet rope. Steve would let AJ in because he's cool and would give the place atmosphere. He wouldn't let the dorky morning guy in though. |
| 8:02
| AJ was looking sharp at that CBS thing on Tuesday, Steve wants to get one of those for himself. Could AJ come down now or is he too busy giving away tampons on Fresh FM? |
| 8:03
| AJ was wearing a wool jacket on Tuesday and he thinks Steve could pull off the look. Where does he get something like that? |
| 8:04
| There was a day when AJ came in and he was dressed like a 1920s era golfer, it was amazing. AJ really knows the fashion. Steve thought all people at Fresh FM had to wear knickers and jaunty drivers caps. |
| 8:05
| AJ was looking sharp on Tuesday. Steve was wearing his Dockers pants and Dockers shirt, it was like Garanimals for him. Buzz had the distinction of being the worst-dressed person in a very large room. He didn't go with his Minnie Pearl outfit did he? |
| 8:06
| Buzz was standing next to Todd Cavanah and that's always going to make you feel like you're not well-dressed. Everyday Steve feels that way in his own office when Todd walks in wearing a $600 outfit. |
| 8:07
| Buzz was wearing jeans, he didn't think it was a dress-up event. But it was the president of CBS radio and a bunch of well-dressed advertisers and sales people. |
| 8:08
| Buzz was very impressed with the off-the-cuff remarks of the head of sales as well as his suit. Just so Buzz knows, that guy actually had a teleprompter. Steve has to say that as a guy who went up there without a prompter. |
| 8:09
| Steve had a nicer shirt he could have worn but he wanted to keep it real and went with a Dockers shirt. Steve has recently become obsessed with Dockers, probably becuase he couldn't wear them before. |
| 8:10
| Buzz also had a problem with his Sox hat, he didn't know what to do with it but he knew he should take it off. |
| 8:11
| So Buzz took the hat and put it under his jacket which was under his arm. As long as Buzz's arm was at his side the jacket and hat were secure. Buzz could shake hands but couldn't do the showbiz hug. And there were a lot of young ladies open to hugging. |
| 8:12
| Those women had to notice that Buzz wasn't hugging. There they were vulnerable, open to hugging, but Buzz doesn't hug. That explains why several women came up to Buzz and asked if he was gay. Steve said yes of course and then they asked why he wasn't better dressed if he's gay. |
| 8:13
| Live read: Joebees |
| 8:14
| Joe Bee thinks that since Buzz is talent it doesn't matter if he's wearing a hat. He should have just stayed with the look, he has to have self-confidence. Look at Joe, only female bees have stingers but Joe has one too and he makes it manly. |
| 8:15
| Joe really wishes Mark wouldn't have told him about the stingers. Who would have thought that only female bees had stingers? Does he at least have some sort of bee penis? |
| 8:16
| If Joe finds out that female bees impregnate male bees that's it for him. He's going to fly right into a hornet's nest on the way home. |
| 8:22
| OK it's Thursday which means Lunch Date with Steve for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve had a couple Chalupa Supremes for lunch yesterday. |
| 8:23
| On the way back from the CBS thing on Tuesday Steve ordered 4 of them but only ate two. Then he reheated 2 of them yesterday and they were still good. |
| 8:24
| Steve was out in the hallway during the last break looking for the intern. She seems to be missing since the last time she was seen was yesterday at 5:30 am with Adam. |
| 8:25
| When Steve was out there he smelled food. He's been trying to eat less or healthier although the Cinnabon's with butter weren't helping. Steve was getting calls from around the world telling him how dangerous that was. Even Todd couldn't believe he was doing that. |
| 8:26
| Steve hasn't eaten at all this week except for the taco on Tuesday. But then he smells this delicious food and wonders who is tempting. He heads down the office and there's Adam, sitting in the dark enjoying an omelet that's as big as his head. Steve almost just took it from him, that's the school bully in him. |
| 8:27
| Adam would have put up a fight and it would have gotten messy. Ultimately Steve would have prevailed but the struggle would have probably destroyed the omelet. |
| 8:28
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Mike is having a Baja-Style Chicken Chalupa. Mike will be hitting up the Taco Bell in Buffalo Grove. That's in the BG as we call it. |
| 8:29
| Mike will be having a Mountain Dew, which Steve has never had. Once Brendan tried to explain what Mountain Dew is, he said it was yellowish and sugary. |
| 8:30
| If Steve likes Red Bull he'll like Mountain Dew. Based on how much caffeine is in there Steve is surprised he's never had one. |
| 8:31
| What a fine young man MIke is. Steve's being told that the Taco Bell in Buffalo Grove is Jim's home Taco Bell. Steve calls down to the weather center. |
| 8:32
| The Taco Bell of Jim's youth is the one in the BG although Jim's not from BG, he's from Wheeling. That's not the same as the BG. They do have Palwaukee and Restaurant Row though. Steve imagines a Jim Kid can walk into Bob Chinn's whenever he wants and get a table right away. Then he has some garlic rolls and leaves because his pager just went off. |
| 8:33
| What does a Jim Kid get when he goes to Taco Bell? He used to get the soft shell taco but since they became a sponsor he's gone back to the original hard shell. He also likes the nacho chips and cheese. Steve's been getting chalupas a lot lately. Could he just go in and order a chalupa shell? |
| 8:34
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. Does he have any of that omelet left? Steve almost confiscated it from him. |
| 8:35
| What did Adam do with the intern? Is Steve going to have to call the police? She's actually in class today but she had a good day yesterday learning about what we do around here. What do we do around here? Adam's just playing fake office. |
| 8:36
| She was very excited to be here yesterday and she's excited to come in tomorrow. She won't be excited when she learns she has to clean out the closet in Steve's office. |
| 8:37
| She's actually some sort of neat freak so she's looking forward to the task. Steve has to say that since Tina left the office has become a bit messy. Hopefully Stephanie's apartment isn't as messy. |
| 8:38
| What does Adam get on that omelet? He usually has everything they offer except for the ham. Could Steve get one with egg whites? That would probably be good for you with egg whites and no cheese. |
| 8:39
| It's almost 9, Steve probably doesn't need one today. It seems hotter if the intern gets one for him tomorrow. Steve doesn't really trust Adam to get him an omelet, he'll probably spit in it. |
| 8:40
| Stephanie would never do that to Steve's food because she loves him. Adam just tolerates Steve. Buzz thinks that Adam doesn't even know the definition of the word love. There better be some hugging in the hall during the break. |
| 8:41
| Stephanie is in the studio. She wasn't here when Steve was talking about the storage area in his office. Since we lost Tina to a tragic bus accident that place has really gone to pot. |
| 8:42
| Steve was told that Stephanie was just lectured by her mom about how she keeps her apartment. Stephanie feels her mom is a little overboard with the cleanliness. He place is in disarray now but that's because she just moved. |
| 8:43
| The last time that room was cleaned it was Stephanie who did it. Is the room on drugs now? Because with drug addiction the first thing that goes is personal appearance. |
| 8:44
| When Stephanie and the intern are cleaning that room tomorrow Steve's going to be photographing it. It's not right for him to tell them what to wear though. |
| 8:45
| So Tina did nothing in there, other than motivating Stephanie to go clean so she wouldn't be IMing her. Steve's going to be posting this photos in a new section of the website, Girls Cleaning Steve's Stuff. |
| 8:46
| Can Stephanie double-check and make sure Adam didn't hide that intern's body somewhere? He doesn't feel good about her being here one day and then gone the next because she has "class". Embalming class maybe. |
| 8:51
| Has Buzz seen that Dyson vacuum that's on a ball? Steve might order one online today, he likes to vacuum although he doesn't do it much at home. |
| 8:52
| The vacuums at Steve's house are abused by the housekeeper. Steve doesn't mind if vacuuming if he has a perfect vacuum, he doesn't want something that's all duct taped together. |
| 8:53
| If Steve had a Dyson he'd keep it in his car and probably vacuum people's houses whenever he went somewhere. The cleaning people in the building aren't getting under Steve's desk where there are some peanuts. |
| 8:54
| Live read: Seattle Sutton |
| 8:55
| Ben Gay is here with sports. It's a delightful morning out there isn't it? The sun is shinning, it's almost 70º. Summer is right around the corner, does Ben have any plans? |
| 8:56
| What did Buzz have in mind? Ben is taking sailing lessons but right now they're still on land. |
| 8:57
| There's a lot to learn before you even go out on the water. Otherwise Ben and his instructor, Roberto, could end up sinking. Then they'd be rescued by some nice Chicago firefighters. |
| 8:58
| That's all Ben has planned so far. He was thinking of starting up a co-ed nude volleyball team. So far the city isn't going for it. You're not that far from nude when you're playing volleyball anyway. |
| 8:59
| Ben feels a nude volleyball team would help us get the Olympics. The original Olympians were all nude during competition. |
| 9:00
| What are Buzz's vacations plans for the summer? Because Ben has something here that sounds great. When Larry Massa says he travels light, he means it. When Massa and his wife go on vacation they do it in the nude. |
| 9:01
| Upscale hotels, resorts and cruise lines have begun to see the economic potential in the no-clothes crowd. That was Ben's pitch to Mayor Daley. He probably shouldn't have showed up naked at his office though. |
| 9:02
| At the $300-a-person all-inclusive Hidden Beach Resort guests are greeted with Champagne when they arrive. Rose petals are tossed on the bed at turndown and beach butlers hand out towels and reading materials to guests. |
| 9:03
| The butlers get to wear uniforms though so they see everyone naked and don't have to be naked themselves. Some good stuff probably happens to those guys. |
| 9:04
| Sea Mountain Inn in California has rooms from $269 to $900 a night. Rooms feature Egyptian bed linens, flat-screen TVs and mineral water pumped into the shower. That seems unnecessary. |
| 9:05
| There's also a new condo-resort for the clothing optional crowd. Imagine those board meetings. They're not boring at all. |
| 9:06
| There are some resort photos with this article. It seems to Buzz like a lot of these people should have bathing suits on. |
| 9:07
| There's one photo of a guy in a pool working a girl sitting on the edge. Then there's a guy doing a nude cannonball into the pool. |
| 9:08
| Buzz feels there are a lot of other issues to deal with when people are naked. Why not just put your clothes on and relax? Buzz is suspicious of the agendas of these people. |
| 9:09
| There's also a photo of a guy playing tennis nude and you can see his package in the shadow. It doesn't seem like you'd want to play tennis nude, there's too much jostling. |
| 9:10
| Caller Britney wanted to tell Ben about that photo. Her mom actually sent the photo to her. Does Britney's mom want her to go on a nakation? |
| 9:11
| Britney's mom was a hippy but she's not sure if she ever went on a nakation. She doesn't want to know either. Britney doesn't thinks he could do it, even if she was the only girl with a bunch of gay guys. |
| 9:12
| Britney doesn't feel threatened by Ben though, really they should friends. Britney would love to hang out in Ben's Boystown apartment and talk about their boyfriends. |
| 9:13
| Ben doesn't call it Boystown, that's a pejorative term. |
| 9:14
| Ben hasn't done the sports yet but he's being told we have to take a break. Does Buzz think that Todd Cavanah would take a nakation with him? |
| 9:22
| Steve was off looking for someone to complain to about the web stream not working. He has to haul his ass back down there on Tuesday afternoon for that CBS thing and they can't even get the web stream working? |
| 9:23
| Then Steve realized that the people Steve would need to complain to are on different floors. Luckily Steve has a building pass, he can get anywhere. |
| 9:24
| Buzz is wondering if Ben Gay is still here. Steve thinks he might be a little rebuffed because Buzz wouldn't vacation with him. |
| 9:25
| Steve can't imagine how anyone could be comfortable on a nakation. Maybe if you're really good looking it's different but all the people Steve is seeing aren't good-looking. |
| 9:26
| And then you bring your wife with you and she's naked? These people must be swingers or something. They don't say that but they have to be. |
| 9:27
| Buzz was once approached about some swinging and he didn't even see it coming. You never do though. All the good stuff happens to Buzz. Basically what was proposed to him was that he share the girl he was with and the guy shares the girl he was with. |
| 9:28
| It's a little different if you're not married but a girlfriend is a girlfriend. If it was the second date Steve would go for it. Steve can see how that would be weird, he won't ask again. |
| 9:29
| Alright Ben Gay is back although he doesn't appreciate being rebuffed like that. Ben knows his situation doesn't he? |
| 9:30
| The Cubs crushed the Brewers 19-5 last night behind two 3-run home runs from catcher Geovanny Soto. Ryan Dempster improved his record to 4-0. The Cubs had their 17th victory of April, a record for the team. |
| 9:31
| Carlos Zambrano takes the mound for the Cubs in the rubber game of the series against the Brewers Yovani Gallardo. |
| 9:32
| Alfonso Soriano will return to the line-up after hurting his calf on April 15th. Ben didn't even know he had a ranch. Soriano must be taking English lessons from Ozzie Guillen. |
| 9:33
| Speaking of the Sox, they were swept in a two game series against the Twins in Minnesota. They have today off, although it seems like they had the last two off as well, before starting a 4 game series in Toronto. |
| 9:34
| Alexei Ramirez, the Cuban Missile, can't go to Toronto because he doesn't have his papers. |
| 9:35
| Roger Clemens is now being linked to the wife of golfer John Daly. Ben doesn't need to know about all of this stuff. Roger Clemens is a baseball player and baseball players nail chicks. That's why they're playing baseball, to nail chicks, sometimes someone else's wife. |
| 9:36
| Normally Buzz would agree but now that the names are coming out he wants to see the whole list. Ben is hoping that Daly's wife and Mindy McCreedy are the bottom of the list. |
| 9:37
| Buffalo Bills first round draft pick Demetrius Young said he learned after high school that he was the estranged son of NBA player Karl Malone. He is The Mailman. |
| 9:38
| He also fathered twins in high school, one of whom became a WNBA player. It's like he's a horse or something. |
| 9:45
| Steve wasn't sure if Ben played both audio cuts from the sports. One is labeled Lou and the other is labeled Fonzie. Who's Fonzie? Steve asked Brendan and he said it's Alfonso Soriano. First of all Steve is not going by Cubs nicknames in here. |
| 9:46
| Second, Steve does not want to take the call from the guy who says John Daly is well-endowed and third, he's not taking the call from the guy who saw a funny interview with a shirtless John Daly. |
| 9:47
| Also Roger Clemens was allegedly involved with Daly's ex-wife. Steve is trying to maintain some sort of guy code here. |
| 9:48
| Brendan has also sent Mark Czerniec a link to a YouTube video of John Daly playing golf shirtless. It sounds like Brendan and John Daly need to get a room. What good does that video do him? |
| 9:49
| News with Buzz |
| 9:50
| It's the 5th anniversary of George Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech on the deck of the U.S.S. Lincoln. |
| 9:51
| Millions of people in Israel observed the day honoring the 6 million people who died in the Holocaust. |
| 9:52
| Thousands will march through the streets of Chicago today demanding rights for immigrants. Steve loves a good march. |
| 9:53
| You'd think INS officers would be out at the march picking people up. It seems like one-stop shopping for them. |
| 9:54
| Drew Peterson is offering $25,000 for information that leads to the return of Stacy, alive. He's not paying for dead Stacy. It'll probably be the guy Stacy ran off with returning her to Drew. |
| 9:55
| The make-up sex with Stacy is going to be great. Sometimes it's hard for Drew to think of another man enjoying the boob job and hair removal he paid for. |
| 9:57
| Wasn't Buzz just talking about how a guy in California was found guilty of the murder of his wife even though there was no body? The jury convicted based on his suspicious behavior after she went missing. |
| 9:58
| The man also brought his niece down to live with him and tried to ply her with alcohol and tried to have sex with her. |
| 9:59
| He also tried to date other women while his wife was missing. It's a good thing Drew didn't take part in that Dating Game. That was just a bad idea from Steve and Buzz. |
| 10:00
| The widow of adventurer Steve Fossett will be getting a bill to cover the cost of the search for her husband. Thanks a lot hot shot! |
