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| 5:33
| Good morning everyone. The opening music is so delightful Steve thought he'd let it keep going for a while. He also wanted to let Buzz recover from whatever tragedy befell him when he tried to put his headphones on. |
| 5:34
| Steve can't really see Buzz because he's blocked by a bunch of monitors but he heard a profane word. Actually Buzz just said "OW!" because he bent his leg a little bit, which hurts his injury. |
| 5:35
| Steve would invite listeners to call in and diagnose Buzz but he didn't believe any of them yesterday. They were medical professionals trying to tell Buzz what was wrong with him but he wasn't buying it. |
| 5:36
| Steve thinks Buzz might be dehydrated, since he was drinking coffee at 11 pm on a Sunday night. That could have caused the injury. You can check if you're dehydrated by pinching some skin on the back of your hand. If it doesn't go down right away you're probably dehydrated. |
| 5:37
| Steve feels if Buzz had really torn his quadricep he'd be in a lot of pain. Steve would have to put him down, while Pete, Jim, Brendan and Mary stood around him and hid him from the media. They'd do it before Aimee even had a chance to get down here. |
| 5:38
| It seems like they should have euthanized that horse off the track, away from the crowd. At least make it seem like you're going to try to help the animal. Steve doesn't even know who won the Kentucky Derby, all he knows is that Eight Belles was euthanized. |
| 5:39
| It certainly would have kept the PETA people at bay for a little bit. Now they're blaming the jockey for using the whip toward the end of the race. He said he only used it because the horse was getting too close to the railing. It's not like horses have the most sensitive asses of any animal. The horse didn't break her ankle because the jockey used the whip. |
| 5:40
| It would have been really weird if the horse would have won and then been euthanized. They would put the horse shoe of roses on it and then give it a shot, after dragging it over to the winner's circle. |
| 5:41
| It's the horse's fault probably. She had a trainer, she just didn't workout hard enough. If Steve broke his ankles you wouldn't blame his trainer, you'd blame him. But PETA always blames the jockey. He's just a shrimpy guy, he has his own cross to bear. |
| 5:42
| The euthanizing of the horse definitely takes the luster off the Kentucky Derby win. Can you bet on if a horse is going to die? It seems like the odds would be very high but it's a good payoff. |
| 5:43
| Steve used to own three horses. Stevebiscuit still races but was purchased in a claiming race. Steve told the other guys in the partnership not to put the horse in the claiming race but it got purchased for less than they bought it for. |
| 5:44
| Then Aloha Friday had to be shot right on the track. Actually he wasn't shot, he was euthanized. They should use that bolt gun they use in No Country For Old Men. How great it would be if that guy from the movie limped out to do it? |
| 5:45
| Then Steve's third horse just wasn't cut out for racing. That's what he was told by the rest of the partnership. How can it not be cut out for racing? They're the ones who bought the horse and it can't race?! Isn't that something you can tell at the horse auction? Wouldn't you know beforehand that it prefers to just stay at home and read or something. |
| 5:46
| Instead they find out a year and a half later, after you've spent all that money on food and a stable, that it can't race. What're you gonna do? That horse was named Afternoon Pick Me Up. |
| 5:47
| Steve's not sure what the horse is doing now, it's something like carriage rides. Or maybe he's providing delightful meals for dogs or being served in a Korean restaurant in Seoul. |
| 5:48
| Caller Ed has some Kentucky Derby info. The day before that race is the Big Oaks race. It was won by a filly ridden by the jockey who rode Eight Belles. He was being praised on Friday for winning and then blamed on Saturday. |
| 5:49
| Ed was wondering how Buzz's leg is doing. It's actually better today. He was hoping for a miracle cure from Aimee last night but she didn't have one. She just said R.I.C.E., rest, ice, compression, elevation, which is what he was told to do yesterday on the show. |
| 5:50
| Buzz is limping around here like grandpa McCoy though. There aren't really any handicapped characters on TV any more, are there? The last one Steve can think of is that Corky kid from Life Goes On. |
| 5:51
| Caller Dave reminds Steve about the father on Frasier, he had a limp but it was from a gunshot. |
| 5:52
| Steve had the misfortune of watching Dan in Real Life featuring John Mahoney. That's the movie where Steve Carell decided he didn't want to be funny any more. |
| 5:53
| Dane Cook is also in that movie and for some reason Steve hates his stand-up but doesn't mind him in movies. He liked him in Mr. Brooks too but his stand-up isn't really jokes. |
| 5:54
| Dane Cook is just a guy in a tight t-shirt, Pete and Jim could do the same stand-up routine. "What's the deal with coffee, it makes you all hyped up!" |
| 5:55
| Dave thinks it's going to be a pretty nice today. It does seem like it's going to be warm again. Buzz also noticed on his way in that the light was breaking over the lake. Thanks Cat Stevens. |
| 6:02
| Steve's glad to hear Buzz is feeling better, none of us like to see our Buzz Kilman limping. He still is limping but he's limping less. He should be in top shape just in time for the weekend. |
| 6:03
| Even yesterday with the bad wheel Buzz was going down to that newsroom to stay abreast of what's happening. Actually he was just getting coffee but he still made it down there. We can have Jim bring him coffee today. You'd think he would have stepped up and offered to do it yesterday. |
| 6:04
| Buzz was in pain yesterday. About halfway down the hallway he'd fall down and start writhing in pain. Buzz was actually hoping that would happen, just to show everyone. Jim did make a generous offer when he first got in but Buzz decided it would be better to just act like nothing was wrong. |
| 6:05
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. Jim says he offered to bring Buzz's computer down to the studio to play the audio for him. All of Jim's offers are half-assed. He says everything with a smirk because he thinks his t-shirt is better than yours. |
| 6:06
| Jim does have some sweet t-shirts though, which irritates Steve. Today he's wearing the Addison Red Line t-shirt, for the Cubs. Steve has the Sox/35th shirt which is also cool. He has to wear it as an undershirt because the kid's t-shirts are smaller and made of a thinner material. |
| 6:07
| The older gentlemen are used to a larger, thicker t-shirt. When Steve wears that Sox t-shirt he looks like an ill-made sausage. "Is that the first sausage you've ever made? It's all lumpy" |
| 6:08
| The material they use on a lot of shirts Jim and Pete wear run small and are very thin. Steve bought a few 2X shirts online and he put them on and it looked like he was a chubby guy trawling for dudes at a gay bar. Steve had to send them back and they were cool shirts. |
| 6:09
| All the cool shirts are made small of that thin material. All shirts should be made from Hanes beefy t-shirts and all hooded sweatshirt should be made from Champion or Hanes. |
| 6:10
| Those thin t-shirts have to be cheaper to make but they're more expensive in the stores. It's a scam. They have to be cheaper than Hanes Beefy t-shirts. It's not like Pete and Jim are sporting rock hard abs or anything. Jim might bump up to an XL. |
| 6:11
| It seems like Pete is still wearing the medium t-shirts. He's actually jumped up to a large but he might go XL, in lieu of working out. Pete works out doesn't he? He runs 20 miles everyday, from his demons. They give him a head start don't they? That being said, Steve has Jim's J. Crew catalog. He's had some J. Crew clothing delivered to the station but he also gets about 6 catalogs a month at home. |
| 6:12
| Jim has some J. Crew apparel at home? All the models in this catalog look gay. Jim never looks like the guys in the catalog but he does have some J. Crew shirt and pants. J. Crew discriminates against the big and tall gentlemen, their pants sizes only go up to 40. Buzz is sitting over there saying "Only 40?!" |
| 6:13
| Steve will put the catalog aside for Jim in case he needs some new chinos or shorts or other nautical-themed clothing. Jim's going to New England so he needs clothing for the trip. Jim's not really going to New England. Why would he say that then, it's not even funny? All the clothing looks like it's for people who live in New England, like someone is hanging out in the Hampton's. |
| 6:14
| Steve still has Eric & Kathy's May issue of Cosmo, he has no idea what they're doing for content. Has Steve read the article about feeling good naked? What about 67 new sex tricks, including the tongue swirl that will push him over the edge? If you have to learn that in a magazine you're wasting your time trying. |
| 6:15
| Steve's hanging on to the magazine just to hurt them. That's business but it's a tough business. How about sexiest things to do after sex? Is ordering Steve a pizza on there? And don't bug him with what he wants on it, know what he wants on it. And pepperoni on the outside and well done. Does Jim think that's funny? He thinks there could be something in there about food afterwards. |
| 6:16
| It's hard for Steve to find the article because there are hundreds of ads in there. Steve would imagine Eric & Kathy's show is really sucking because they have no content. Are they just talking about that one song with the black horse and the cherry tree? |
| 6:17
| Pete and Jim, what's wrong with those Cubs? Jim has no idea. All that praise was heaped on them and then they just started tanking. The same thing is happening to the Sox and they've resorted to inflatable dolls as slumpbusters. |
| 6:18
| In reality a Slumpbuster is a big, fat, ugly girl. Someone on the team goes out and nails that girl and then recounts his tail to his teammates. It's like blessing your bat. The White Sox went with an inflatable slumpbuster with bats shoved in various orifi. It seems wrong that it's being reported though, are they going to have to build a separate anteroom where reporters aren't allowed? |
| 6:19
| It's going to be another stupid distraction for the Sox that the media has created. It didn't help them yesterday either. Buzz doesn't think you can drag an inflatable doll around the lockerroom, a reporter can't resist reporting that. |
| 6:20
| If they're going to report on that then report on the size of a player's wang. Where does the reporting end?! Buzz thinks an inflatable doll in the lockerroom is asking for it. It's a diluted concept down from doing an actual slumpbuster. In reality they're trying to be sensitive by not hurting a real girl's feelings. That's probably Swish, he seems like the type who looks out for a lady's feelings. |
| 6:21
| Pete was going to take issue with Buzz because he thinks that the lockerroom should be sacred. It's not though, the reality is there are reporters in there. Then you want to bring an inflatable doll in there and violate it with baseball bats. |
| 6:22
| It seems like a lapse in judgment to Buzz, that's all. Steve understands that, it seems like they didn't think it all the way through. Maybe they should have it in there while the media is locked out. All of your trouble in sports comes from guys sitting at their locker saying stupid stuff after a loss. |
| 6:23
| It was first reported by a Canadian paper which makes it more irritating. And they're using a lot of innuendo in the article. They still lost last night in horrible fashion, which caused Steve to go berserk. |
| 6:24
| Steve went around his town last night going berserk, he was wilding. He might have raped an 80-year-old woman, he was driving people's cars on railroad tracks, he went crazy. |
| 6:25
| The article says the White Sox "illuminati" erected a clubhouse shrine designed to revive their teams flaccid play. What's "illuminati" does that mean they're dumb? Is that the dry Canadian humor? |
| 6:33
| We're still giving away those tickets to see Stevie Nicks, whenever you hear Will Ferrell singing Leather & Lace, call in. Buzz is surprised how good she still looks. Her voice is kind of gravely though. |
| 6:34
| Buzz is wondering if Steve has ever heard how Rock Hudson got his voice. Is this something we can tell on the air? |
| 6:35
| When Rock first got to Hollywood he had a very high, squeaky voice. Everyone told him that wouldn't work for him, even his management. On the advice of some Hollywood luminary he went up into the mountains and stayed outside and got really cold. |
| 6:36
| His vocal chords were really cold and he went off somewhere and just started screaming. They call it breaking your vocal chords and it seems to have worked. That's what Brendan did, he went off into the wilderness, like that movie Into the Wild. Brendan didn't die though. |
| 6:37
| Steve's looking up some Stevie Nicks videos on YouTube for examples of her voice. She's hot though. When Steve was a kid he did sound for a Stevie Nicks/Lindsay Buckingham show. |
| 6:38
| There was a club on Sunset called Cicero's or Cero's and it used to be a really popular Big Band place. Then it fell on hard times. Every Monday BMI had a showcase and once Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham performed. |
| 6:39
| They didn't abuse Steve but she was hot, that's all that happened. Steve was told Lindsay was her boyfriend, plus Steve was all the way up in the sound booth. Sam the Sham was also there and he did a song. |
| 6:40
| That was back when Steve was drummed out of the radio business for a while because he was told his voice was too high. He should have gone out in the woods like Rock Hudson. It could have put him in a different line of work though. |
| 6:41
| Imagine Steve, who really wanted to be in radio, being told his voice was too high and he'd never make it. And not quitting for 5 years. |
| 6:42
| Steve had a job at KROY for about a week before the general manager had him fired because his voice was too high. Back then there was no group looking out for Steve. These days you could probably take someone to court. |
| 6:43
| It was very depressing when that happened but Steve had a vision and he stuck with it. Steve was on for 6 hours every night, how could the general manager not hear him for a week?! |
| 6:44
| Then Steve attended UCLA to make his voice deeper and that's when the professor decided he was going to make fun of the way he walked, in front of the entire class. That had nothing to do with speech! |
| 6:45
| The professor made everyone walk in front of the class with a book on their heads. Is this a modeling class?! After Steve did it he said "OK, stop goofing around and do it normally!" Steve kept doing it and the guy kept belittling him. When they took the break in class Steve left and kept going. That was his time as a Bruin. |
| 6:46
| Steve had no idea what that professor's problem was. You have nightmares about something like that happening but it really happened to Steve. |
| 6:46
| So Steve was fired for having a high voice by a guy named Jack Daniels who had a speech impediment. That was OK though because his voice was deep. |
| 6:52
| That Seth McFarland guy cut himself quite a deal over at Fox. He's the guy who created Family Guy and American Dad. |
| 6:53
| Steve has some audio of Stevie Nicks that's a better example of her gravely voice. It's not a dealbreaker by any means. |
| 6:54
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:55
| Alright time for the web poll question for today. Yesterday in the post show meeting Todd Cavanah, who's now on his way to a tropical island because he just needs to "get away", asked Steve if he's been reading the sponsor of the web poll. |
| 6:56
| Steve's been mentioning the sponsor for weeks, Todd should tune into the show. it sort of hurt Steve that he didn't know but he probably only listens to Eddie & Jobo. |
| 6:57
| Jobo came out weird when Steve said it. With all this White Sox stuff Steve's been thinking about Jobu from Major League. |
| 6:58
| Yesterday's web poll question was "Did MC Hammer pants inspire you to get into fashion?" 84% of the people said no. |
| 6:59
| That of course correlates with the article about Pete Wentz's new clothing line. He was inspired to get into fashion by MC Hammer pants. He said he grew up in the John Hughes territory on the North Shore. |
| 7:00
| Then Steve got an email from listener Lila who points out that since Wentz was born in 1979 he didn't really grow up in the 80s. He would have been only 8 or 9 when he was wearing MC Hammer pants. So he's a dope. |
| 7:01
| Buzz saw yesterday that Pete Wentz also has a new line of eyeliner for men called Guyliner. Steve's going to make his own line called Gayliner. |
| 7:02
| The Guyliner comes in various colors including Green-Eyed Sidekick, By the Power of Grayskull and Take the Brown Line to Wellington. |
| 7:03
| Steve's being told By the Power of Grayskull is from He-Man, a show he never watched since he's in his 50s. How does Pete Wentz get women when he's wearing eyeliner and fake eye lashes? |
| 7:04
| Today's web poll question is "Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?" And the web poll features a nice photo of our own Pete Wentz, Pete Zimmerman. |
| 7:05
| Pete's other favorite show, Men in Trees, was canceled yesterday. It might have been Cinco de Mayo but it was a Blue Monday for Pete. |
| 7:06
| Hearing the complaints from fans, Grey's Anatomy show creator Shonda Rhimes is reuniting Meredith and Derek. Is that McDreamy? Pete's claiming spoiler alert here. Is that really a spoiler? They're just trying to make the show more interesting. |
| 7:07
| Right now Meredith and Derek are just reconnecting as friends. Didn't Meredith die in an episode or something? There was a 3-part cliffhanger season finale when she almost died. |
| 7:08
| What magazine is this article from? Is Entertainment Weekly a girl's magazine. Pete says no and Buzz wonders how he'd know. He's just taking cheap shots at Pete but you have to. He's watching Grey's Anatomy and a girl's not even making him do it! |
| 7:09
| Caller John watches Grey's Anatomy because his wife makes him watch it. At least he has an excuse, unlike Pete. |
| 7:10
| There was an episode a couple of years ago when there was a ferry boat crash and Meredith dove into the water to save a kid. She drowned and while she was going into the late her friends all stood around her and said they needed her. |
| 7:11
| Steve does like that Kate Walsh girl but not the new show she's on. She's in that Cadillac commercial and she also says she likes a good Kansas City bone-in ribeye. |
| 7:12
| Steve did not know the bone-in ribeye was called the Kansas City but it's still hot that she likes meat. She was actually back on Grey's Anatomy last week and she told Meredith she needs to get with McDreamy. |
| 7:13
| Pete's giving Steve plot points that he doesn't want to know about. This can't work with the girls for longer than a few weeks right? That's enough time for Pete though. |
| 7:14
| Steve finally caught some Ugly Betty on accident, what's the deal with that show? She has all these guys after her but she looks like a 12-year-old with braces. Is that the deal with the show? Pete? Is he going to let him down on this one? Of all the crap shows he watches, he's going to let him down here?! |
| 7:15
| Pete hasn't watched it as much this season but Betty had a boyfriend from the old neighborhood. He dumped her once she started working at the magazine and meeting new people. Lindsay Lohan's going to be on Ugly Betty and Britney is going to be back on How I Met Your Mother. Steve watched that one last night, he watches all the CBS Monday night sitcoms. |
| 7:16
| Caller Rick saw Ellen Pompeo, from Grey's Anatomy, on Punk'd once. The waitress was pretending to hit on her boyfriend and she said she was going to stab the girl with a fork. Is that her black boyfriend? You know how Steve feels about interracial dating. |
| 7:17
| Steve's just kidding but he can't watch interracial porn because of what some of those black guys are bringing. He doesn't mind white guy on asian girl or even white guy with black girl but he can't watch black guy with white or asian girl. It's not prejudice, he just doesn't need to see that. What's he supposed to do with that? He might as well just go get a sex change. |
| 7:24
| Steve would like to point out that he hasn't had a Cinnabon in a week. There was a stretch when he was having one everyday with butter on it, which caused Buzz to be concerned. He was on a Cinnabender. |
| 7:25
| Steve actually hasn't been eating at all during the show, except for Taco Bell. Sadly AJ down the hall, who produced the Morning Douche on Fresh, is on the Cinnabon habit. Steve feels bad because AJ is African-American and they have a higher risk of heart disease and diabetes. Steve could be killing him. |
| 7:26
| Steve's not sure if AJ is buttering up the Cinnabon though. The butter isn't that much more though, at that point you might as well go all in. |
| 7:27
| AJ is not having butter but he is having extra frosting which is just as bad. Maybe AJ would like to join Steve and Buzz when they walk the West Loop to that lunch with Chef Hans. |
| 7:28
| Chef invited Steve and Buzz to a lunch with Charlie Trotter and Bill Kurtis, which could be interesting. Steve likes Bill but every time he meets him he doesn't want to make fun of him on the air. |
| 7:29
| Steve was going to go to the Sox game on Thursday but he can't in good conscience miss a lunch with Chef Hans and Charlie Trotter and BIll Kurtis to go watch a team that sucks lately. He was thinking of putting two inflatable dolls in his seats though. |
| 7:30
| After Thursday's lunch Steve and Buzz can walk the West Loop where the shops of the West Loop are having a special event with sales and food and drink at most stores. They'll be going to Bess & Loey, Erin Gallagher Jewelry Gallery, Koros Art + Style...Steve's heard of none of these things except #7, the Oprah Store. Hell yeah! |
| 7:31
| Steve will probably just go home after lunch although Buzz should bring his walking shoes just in case. They could get lost in that Oprah Store and you know she'll have hors d'oeuvres. Steve might pick up a pair of her panties, they'll probably fit him. |
| 7:32
| Just because Oprah is a billionaire doesn't mean she couldn't use some more money. She has expenses, like the jet and owning half of Hawaii. |
| 7:33
| Steve's going to start selling his old clothes just tehre like Oprah. He's looking at some space in the lobby for the Steve Dahl Store. He will sell used underwear but he's not sure if there's a market for it. His underwear sometimes presents a laundry challenge. Plus we've got the travel mugs and all the things Adam is in charge of. |
| 7:34
| Steve tried to call down to Adam's office but he called the weather center instead. Jim says Adam is out running an errand. He's getting Taco Bell which is what happens when Adam doesn't hire another intern. Stephanie is out-of-town for the week so Adam had to go get Taco Bell. |
| 7:35
| Steve calls Adam's cellphone which is a 773. Usually Steve doesn't like people who work for him to have a 773 number, it's too many digits for him to dial. Buzz has a 773 but Steve never calls him. And really Steve only calls Mary or Stephanie. |
| 7:36
| Adam can't hire another intern because all of the applicants are still in school out-of-state. Fly them in then! We can put them up at Adam's place, he can give them the full Chicago tour. |
| 7:37
| Adam is on his way back to the station, in a cab. Does Steve pay for that? It should be above Steve's normal monthly expenses and reimbursed by someone at the station. |
| 7:38
| Steve will have to talk to that Greg Pigott guy who's very jumpy and tan. Steve likes to call him Greg Pigment. The cab is probably added into part of Steve's monthly expenses which doesn't seem right. |
| 7:39
| How are those mugs selling? Adam doesn't have the numbers in front of him but he's pretty sure all the regular mugs are almost gone. |
| 7:40
| Adam's getting some change from the cab driver. On a $6 fare he asked for $12. In the name of the Steve Dahl show, he should just give him $10. Steve usually gives a cab driver $20 and they're always very happy about it. |
| 7:41
| Adam needs to get another temporary intern for the week until Stephanie gets back. Can't we get someone from The Admiral or something? |
| 7:42
| Buzz remembers we had a stripper in the studio doing weather a few years ago. That cost Steve a lot of money because Ed took pictures of her hoo-hoos and posted them on Dahl.com. Turns out photos of your hoo-hoos is a strippers retirement plan. Dahl.com is a family site, you can't put that stuff up there. |
| 7:43
| News with Buzz |
| 7:44
| The polls are open in Indiana. Hillary Clinton did the Top Ten List on Letterman last night. Steve thought Barack's list was funnier. He did stay up to watch it and couldn't get to sleep so he watched Jimmy Eat World. They're still Steve's favorite band. |
| 7:45
| Steve would like to go see them but they only play venues with no seats. Steve calls down to the weather center. Jim says their last show in Chicago was at The Riv. They have seats upstairs but they're funky. They do have private boxes as well. |
| 7:46
| Steve's wondering if Jack FM could do some sort of concert with them. We play their music right? Jim's looking at their tour dates and they don't have any in Chicago. Steve's willing to road trip it to see them. How about their show in Stuttgart? What about Leipzig? |
| 7:47
| Steve's always wanted to drive on the Autobahn. In Germany they have a law where if your car is dented and not fixed in a month they take it away from you. It seems like they have some good laws over there even though they were crazy for a while. |
| 7:48
| There's also a show in Nuremberg, where Steve and Buzz were on trial in the 40s. They walked though becuase they said they were just following orders. |
| 7:49
| Pete has found a few Jimmy Eat World songs in the Jack library. It sounded like Pete was getting ready to mock The Middle because it was their big hit but then he backed off. Todd's out of town, let's add some more Jimmy Eat World songs to the library. |
| 7:50
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 7:51
| Steve's going to take a break and then they'll probably have some tacos and then play the Jimmy Eat World song. Is this a good place to stop? Isn't Buzz in the middle of the Hillary story? |
| 7:52
| Buzz already played the audio, he's done with the story. How can Steve forget that already? He's so sick of this election stuff. He'd be willing to live in a dictatorship just to make it stop. Put him on a salt crew, that'll be his job, as long as this all stops. |
| 7:58
| That's a drop from Juno which Steve still hasn't seen. He's sure it's delightful though. He has nothing against it, he just hasn't had a chance to watch it. He did watch Dan in Real Life though which wasn't funny. |
| 7:59
| Plus he just saw another movie with the same plot about a guy falling in love with his brother's girlfriend. Steve was waiting for Michael Scott but he never showed up. |
| 8:00
| Live read: National City |
| 8:01
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell on a seis de Mayo. Steve and Buzz are having original tacos with the corn tortillas. Luckily we had some corn leftover from all the biodiesel. |
| 8:02
| Don't forget to email Tacos@dahl.com with your Taco Bell stories. Everyday some guy emails a story to Tacos@dahl.com and then emails Steve directly and asks if he won. Steve's not in charge of the judging but if he was he'd make it so this guy didn't win just because he's bugging him. |
| 8:03
| Alright back to Buzz in the newsroom. He's already polished off one taco but he wouldn't mind having another. Should we play the Jimmy Eat World then? |
| 8:04
| Song: The Middle, Jimmy Eat World |
| 8:07
| That's a good one from Jimmy Eat World. Steve finds himself listening to them a lot when he runs through the neighborhood. Although Steve's running looks more like a guy who has diarrhea trying to get to a bathroom. |
| 8:08
| Whenever Steve gets passed up by a woman in a stroller or something like that he says "Fine, be that way!" |
| 8:09
| He discovered last week that 3:30 is the best time to go because a lot of moms are out with their kids and many of them are fans. Steve has his headphones on so when they say something he has to take them off and they have to say it again. Nothing bad can happen though because the kids are there. It's like going to a lesbian bar. |
| 8:10
| Back to Buzz in the newsroom |
| 8:11
| Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey and his estranged wife will be in court today for divorce proceedings. His wife claims she was tricked into marriage and didn't know he was gay, McGreevey claims she knew. Didn't his assistant claim he was involved in a three-way with them. |
| 8:12
| Yesterday Buzz neglected to report on the cyclone in Myanmar that killed 10,000 people, Now it's up to 22,000. |
| 8:13
| PETA is still calling for the suspension of Eight Belles jockey after the horse was euthanized on Saturday. They always blame the jockey, what about the horse with weak ankles? |
| 8:14
| This jockey probably won't race until the investigation is over anyway. Who is PETA to rob this guy of his livelihood? |
| 8:15
| A few weeks ago Steve said he was going to give the dogs in his neighborhood snacks. Then a bunch of people emailed him and said the it was wrong to do that because he didn't know if the pets were allergic to anything. |
| 8:16
| Dogs aren't allergic to anything. If they have an allergy it's probably foisted on them by their high-strung owner. Dogs will eat anything and if they don't like it they'll eat some grass and puke it up. |
| 8:17
| Evon Hernandez plead guilty to a list of charges after allegedly running over a Boston Red Sox fan at a bar in New Hampshire. |
| 8:18
| Hernandez, a Yankees fan, had words with a Red Sox fan at a bar and then got into her car and ran into the group of fans, according to police. |
| 8:19
| Mayor Daley is again defending the Chicago Children's Museum's proposed move to Grant Park. |
| 8:20
| Drew Peterson was stopped by Naperville cops over the weekend. He was speeding early Saturday morning as he went to go pick up a 22-year-old woman. Steve's pretty sure Drew will be coming in to talk about this after the break. Buzz looks forward to hearing about it. |
| 8:21
| What about this Rezko thing, what are Buzz's thoughts on his defense not calling any witnesses? Buzz thinks he's going to jail for a long time but that's his outsider opinion. |
| 8:22
| Steve thinks Rezko knows he's going to be convicted so he's going to get it over with and then roll on Blago. |
| 8:30
| Some people say Eight Belles, Cheryl Burton says Eight Bellies. That's OK though, she recently got punched by a lunatic so she gets cut some slack. |
| 8:31
| She actually said it twice at the beginning and end of the story but no one bothered to correct her. |
| 8:32
| Yesterday Allison Rosati said "El Jardin" incorrectly but she came right back and corrected it. Of course Eight Belles is dead so it doesn't really matter. |
| 8:33
| The highlight of the Bears Super Bowl for Steve, other than the Hester runback was when Cheryl Burton came up and hugged him and said hello. |
| 8:34
| She had this really hot blue jeans on that looked like they had to be tied up like a corset. |
| 8:35
| Terry Armour would have been very proud that Cheryl Burton blew in and blew out of his funeral through the back door. |
| 8:36
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 8:37
| Does Buzz have any questions for Drew about his recent traffic stop? Buzz wants to know what kind of police officer pulls someone over for only going 10 over. |
| 8:38
| Drew was in such a hurry to pick up a 22-year-old female friend that he was speeding and got pulled over. He got out of it with a warning though. |
| 8:39
| Buzz is wondering how he gout out of the ticket. As a Bolingbrook police officer he knows Naperville police officers and they'd often pick up lunch for each other. |
| 8:40
| Drew was called by the woman to get a ride after the driver of the car she was in was taken into custody by Naperville police. |
| 8:41
| Drew says he was just being a good samaritan and declined to identify the girl, insisting on calling her a friend. Peterson is a suspect in the disappearance of his 4th wife. Does it always have to say that in these articles? Can't it just be a light-hearted article about a hot broad? |
| 8:42
| Naperville police confirmed that Drew was pulled over for going under 10 miles over the posted speed limit. That's still illegal though Buzz. |
| 8:43
| Peterson's attorney says Drew was helping a young woman who works at a tanning salon he sometimes visits. Whenever you go to a tanning salon you want to make sure that the girl's who work there have your number in case you should be in a car when the driver is taken into custody. |
| 8:44
| Drew's probably just working on his tan until he can get the pool opened up for the summer. He'd probably be hesitant to go around any sort of chlorine though. |
| 8:45
| Is this the same tanning salon that's near Steve? Maybe he should go in there and offer his number in case another broad calls and needs a ride while Drew is busy. |
| 8:46
| We've got some calls coming in for Drew, should we take those now? People have questions and Drew will answer them to the best of his ability. |
| 8:47
| Caller John was wondering who was watching Drew's kids while he was out picking this woman up. Drew has older kids, from his marriage to Kathleen Savio, they're old enough to watch the younger kids. John's wondering if they're old enough though. We've got a smart-ass on the line here. |
| 8:48
| Doesn't John read the paper? Drew's kids are older and they can watch the younger kids. He had the older kids in his 3rd marriage to Kathleen, who died tragically in a bathroom accident. The bathroom is the most dangerous room in the house. |
| 8:49
| Apparently we have no more callers, Drew might have scared them off. That first gentleman had a bad attitude though. He's probably already found Drew guilty. |
| 8:50
| Drew was just trying to help the broad at the tanning salon. Maybe she went out with the wrong guy, he got arrested and she called Drew because he's like a father figure. |
| 8:51
| Who knows how her number even ended up in Drew's phone. Sometimes phone exchange numbers without you even knowing. His pants could have been off at the tanning salon and her phone could have come near his phone. |
| 8:52
| Then the number gets beamed to her phone, she's in trouble and needs to make a call and there's Drew, former Bolingbrook police officer. Drew was just trying to help and now he's getting more bad publicity. |
| 8:53
| Buzz thinks it'll be tough when Stacy does come back because there's still the issue with Kathleen Savio. |
| 8:54
| Drew still has the reward out for $25,000 for information that gets Stacy back alive. So if Buzz found Stacy, he'd get a $25,000 check from Drew with the amount written out and line across it so he can't alter the amount. Then Drew would write "Find Stacy" in the memo box so he'd know what the check was for. |
| 9:02
| Ben Gay is here but Buzz was not expecting him today. Ben's coming from his court mandated community service. He's been picking up trash on the road. Of course Ben isn't against picking up some trash in a bar. |
| 9:03
| The White Sox were swept by the Blue Jays last night in Toronto. The Blue Jays seem to have lost the blue, their jerseys just say Jays. Part of baseball is the teams with the bird names. It's how most people know some birds like blue jays, orioles or cardinals. |
| 9:04
| They shouldn't even be playing baseball in Canada and they definitely shouldn't be playing indoors. They only draw about 500 people to every game. |
| 9:05
| Ben got home late last night and he had to travel as a stowaway in a steamer trunk. Les Grobstein has to drag him through the terminal. |
| 9:06
| The game ended on a 1, 2, 3 double play which you don't see very often. That's when the pitcher throws to the catcher who then throws to the first baseman. |
| 9:07
| Ozzie said the loss was heartbreaking for the team. On the heels of the Ozzie Guillen rant, which there is tape of, more controversy is swirling around the team thanks to a pair of blow-up dolls in the Sox lockerroom. |
| 9:08
| Some reporters were disgusted with the display saying it was sexist and inappropriate. Aren't all baseball players supposed to be sexist and inappropriate? |
| 9:09
| Lockerrooms should be private anyway. How do you think Ben got into so much trouble? What do you expect when you put him in a room with 25 naked men? |
| 9:10
| The slumpbuster didn't work though and they couldn't find a real fat chick in Canada because they don't have any. Right now there's probably some monstrosity at Jimbo's waiting to help the team. |
| 9:11
| The Cubs lost 5-3 to the Reds last night, all of the Reds runs were unearned. Ben's pretty sure the Cubs loss was also heartbreaking, right Pete? |
| 9:12
| The Cubs had the bases loaded in the 9th inning with 1 out and a baserunning gaffe by Mike Fontenot lead to the second out. They play 162 games a year, people need to relax a little bit. |
| 9:13
| Jim down the hall is on the ledge with every loss though. Does he know the season goes until September? Just yesterday Jim was talking about how the Cubs should have won that series in Washington and that was almost 2 weeks ago. |
| 9:14
| Today marks the 10 year anniversary of Kerry Wood's 20 strikeout game against the Astros. Wood says it's a day he'll never forget and he can't wait until his kids are old enough to grasp how important the game was. Sadly his kids are 17 and 18 and they still can't grasp it. |
| 9:15
| According to police who arrested Cedric Benson the Bears running back appearance intoxicated, had bloodshot eyes and slurred his speech. Police said he was combative although he's never combative on the football field. Maybe they should have a boat out on Burnham Harbor where Cedric can get all jacked up before the game. |
| 9:16
| Former U of I running back Rashard Mendenhall was robbed along Chicago's lakefront early Monday morning. Was it Chicago? Isn't he in Pittsburgh? Welcome home! |
| 9:17
| Phoenix Suns coach Mike D'Antoni has told Bulls GM John Paxson that he wants the team's open head coaching job. |
| 9:18
| The defending NBA champion San Antonio Spurs are in a 2-0 hole against the New Orleans Hornets in the second round of the NBA playoffs. |
| 9:19
| Florida Gators QB Tim Tebow added a new facet to his fame while visiting an impoverished village in the Philippines. Tebow helped circumcise children in the village. Ben tried to sign up for that but he was denied. It seems like Tebow is going to take a lot of ribbing for this. And guys will be afraid to shower with him. |
| 9:20
| A lot of people choose to not be circumcised. Personally Ben doesn't like that look. On the Friday of a week long trip Tebow was circumcising children. That's how you want to end your week long trip. |
| 9:21
| Many people underwent medical and dental procedures from Tebow, who has no formal medical training. The first time he performed a circumcision his hands were shaky. You do not want a shaky circumcision. |
| 9:22
| Ben is Jewish and he had the shakiest mohel in the west for his circumcision. There was actually a Don Knotts movie made about that. |
| 9:23
| Imagine what the young, impoverished kids were doing when his hands were shaking though. |
| 9:32
| There's the so-called Ozzie tirade. Steve would hate to be Mike North, he's not even remembered by Ozzie in the tirade. And Mike North spent a lot of time telling Ozzie that they were friends in the previous tirade. |
| 9:33
| Does Pete have that audio on hand? How can Ozzie not remember who Mike North is? He swore 3 times on his show! If Steve's The Score he takes Mike off the air because he's not getting the job done. |
| 9:34
| What's that whistling sound? Is Pete watching Andy Griffith over there? Pete turned his mic off as if Steve and Buzz weren't talking to him. |
| 9:35
| That was Pete's ringtone, which is someone whistling. Steve wants to hear it again, Mary's going to cal him and he can put his ringtone up to the phone. |
| 9:36
| Pete's ringtone is the song from the Illinois Tourism Board commercials. That's so cool, Pete's humor is so dry. That must be a great conversation starter at Butch McGuire's. |
| 9:37
| Steve wasn't aware that there was a song in those commercials. Do they even show those commercials in Illinois? What do they tell you to do, visit Illinois? Go to Navy Pier? |
| 9:38
| There was a ride Buzz remembers at Navy Pier, you got in this little car and it was like you were in outer space. Keep in mind that Buzz likes it, the guy who just learned yesterday that you could buy limes in stores. |
| 9:39
| PIper used to love that ride though and now it's gone. If anyone knows where that ride is now, please call and tell Buzz. |
| 9:40
| So anyway Ozzie's pre-game rant mentions "that guy on the radio" talking about Mike North. It wasn't really a rant though, he was just BSing and he mentioned Lee Elia and his rant. |
| 9:41
| Bob Costas has that HBO show, Costas Now, and they had a town hall meetings about sports journalism and blogging. The guy who wrote Friday Night Lights, who seemed crazy, totally went off on the guy from the Deadspin blog |
| 9:42
| Also on that episode they showed Mike North in the studio and they played part of that rant. But Mike was doing a remote that day and Ozzie was on the phone. We don't need to get that into it though, Steve might be ruining it by being too technical. |
| 9:43
| Pete has the stuff from Costas Now if Steve wants to hear it. First it's Mike talking about Jay Mariotti and his level of discourse. |
| 9:45
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 9:52
| Steve doesn't really care about the Costas Now stuff, he's not sure why he brought that into the whole thing. He's more disappointed that Ozzie can't remember who Mike North is. |
| 9:53
| Steve still wants to hear the Mike North/Ozzie Guillen tape though. Ozzie does say "You're a good friend of mine" but it seems like he's trying to get himself out of a jam. |
| 9:54
| That was last year and as Steve recalls the Sox lost that first game of the Crosstown at Wrigley. They started Toby Hall over AJ in that game and one of the luxuries of being on a sports station is you can turn that into a topic. |
| 9:55
| Any news we need to know about? There are a few animal stories actually. An investigation has uncovered a rodent infestation throughout much of Terminal 1 at O'Hare. |
| 9:56
| So Steve has to take his pants off every time he flies but the airport is invested with rats? Will terrorists be dressing up likes rats now? |
| 9:57
| A California man is facing animal cruelty charges after sneaking into an enclosure at a Six Flags animal park and punching a camel. |
| 9:58
| Steve has this from a few weeks ago, a man in Central Ohio is accused of having sex with a metal round table on his deck. Buzz would like to be in court when someone tries to prove that someone had sex with a table. |
| 9:59
| Police were given DVDs of the acts by a neighbor. The man lives near a school and some of the acts were performed outside. So it's more about that and not that he's violating a table. |
| 10:00
| How about the guy who puts all that on DVD three different times. You'd think someone would call after the first time. Maybe he couldn't tell if the guy was flirting with the table or if he was actually having sex with it. |
