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| 5:31
| How lovely is this theme Buzz? It's been a long time since Steve did mornings and it's the first time he did mornings sober. These days he notices the birds chirping. Being awake when the birds start chirping is the worst feeling in the world, it's when you know you've gone too far the might before. |
| 5:32
| At that point you need to either take a Valium or go to work depending on what your schedule is. The worst is when you come out of a bar and the birds are chirping. Buzz's lasting image of leaving a bar early in the morning is sitting on the curb, next to a dog that had been tied up, waiting for a cab, trying to get home before the sun came up. |
| 5:33
| That was on a weekend luckily but that kind of thing would happen to Steve when he had a morning shift. Or it would happen at 10 am when he had an afternoon shift. It's really hard to get it together then. |
| 5:34
| Buzz got 6 hours of sleep last night and he actually feels a little groggy, he's not used to it. Steve can never keep track of how long he sleeps for at night. He's not sure if he took a nap yesterday either. He has these headphones that drown out all the noise because it's very loud in Steve's house. |
| 5:35
| The dogs are always barking at something, either the doorbell or the phone which sound the same. So when the phone rings the dogs think it's the doorbell and they bark in an attempt to protect Steve. There are gypsies in the neighborhood though, or maybe they're Mexican. They pretend to be meter readers and while one of them is in the basement with the person the other is upstairs robbing them. |
| 5:36
| Before the show started we were playing Another Brick in the Wall and Steve said to the kids on the show "Hey, Another Kid in the Crawl" and no one knew what he was talking about. First Mary, then Pete and neither of them knew. |
| 5:37
| Pete claims it's one of his favorite songs but the damage is already done. Then Mary said "I'd like it to be a good show today, not a show from the 70s gramps!" |
| 5:38
| The only bright spot so far is that Vicki the intern is wearing a vintage Insane Coho Lips t-shirt that she got from her parents. She had an extra bagel which was offered to Steve. He contemplated taking it and then after the song played it was being offered to Brendan. Brendan doesn't get offered food until after the show is over! Brendan gets the food that's been sitting out all morning and he doesn't really care either, he's like a dog. Then he eats it really fast and it's all over. |
| 5:39
| So Steve thought he'd play his song, Another Kid in the Crawl. When Another Brick in the Wall came on Buzz thought we were playing Steve's song. When he first came to town that song was all over the radio. Back then you'd get fired for being controversial, now there's big money in it. |
| 5:40
| Song: Another Kid in the Crawl, Steve Dahl & Teenage Radiation |
| 5:44
| Good annunciation in that song from Steve. Someone emailed Steve saying some dude she met said he was in Teenage Radiation. He claimed he played drums on Ayatollah. Greg Potter played drums on that song but the girl was claiming some guy named Kidd Jackson played drums. |
| 5:45
| That's just an obscure enough claim that you can't really follow it up. But Greg Potter played on all those songs, he was a distinct presence as Buzz recalls. Steve's never heard of Kidd Jackson, it sounds like someone's just trying to get into this girl's pants. |
| 5:46
| Roman is the only guy from Teenage Radiation who won't/can't do a reunion. He got married and now his wife won't let him play guitar any more. That makes Steve think something must have happened at a club. |
| 5:47
| Buzz has heard of that happening to many musicians after they get married. That's probably becuase their wives know why they become musicians, to get laid. |
| 5:48
| A good guitar covers up a lot of flaws, as does a good sense of humor, with the ladies. Steve wouldn't mind reuniting the band but only if he could get everyone back. |
| 5:49
| Steve tried to play a few old songs with The Nadas last year but it wasn't as fun without the original guys. That Roman was a handful though. For instance Another Kid in the Crawl was the result of hours and hours of Steve and Roman arguing about how the song should sound. |
| 5:50
| Steve obviously won and he wanted the song to sound exactly like the original. Roman wanted it to be different and special but that's not what they were there to do. |
| 5:51
| Steve sees that Roman has a MySpace page. He was also in a band called The Dancing Noodles and Steve used to call him Noodles Romanoff. That's one of Steve's favorite dishes, he likes all the dishes from the Russian Czars. |
| 5:52
| Roman chronicles his time with Teenage Radiation on his MySpace page. Roman's band was invited to play at The Pointe East in Lynwood at an anti-disco rally for an up-and-coming DJ named Steve Dahl. The next week Steve invited them to record Do Ya Think I'm Disco. The band was now called Teenage Radiation. |
| 5:53
| After that they did a show in Rockford at the County Fair Grounds with Cheap Trick, Molly Hatchet, The Babys and AC/DC. Then they did Alpine Valley, opening for Foreigner. That's where Steve's road crew stole a bunch of Foreigner's beer. |
| 6:00
| Steve had a few calls on hold but they all hung up. One guy did call back but it seems like Brendan is having a hard time holding on to those calls through the break. Maybe he needs to spend a little less time working the new intern and a little more time on the callers. |
| 6:01
| Caller Mark went through a bad cell which is why his call dropped. There were other calls that also dropped though so Steve's going to keep blaming Brendan. And he's still out there working the intern. Webcasting is the future of broadcasting in case the new intern didn't know. |
| 6:02
| Mark is down in Portage, Indiana, where they just had the big election. Can someone please make this stop? Steve can't take any more of Hillary Clinton. He doesn't mean to be biased, he just can't take it. He doesn't like how she pretends to be blue collar when she's worth half a billion dollars. He also doesn't like how she keeps saying she'd be in the lead if she had the Michigan and Florida votes. |
| 6:03
| He also doesn't like that stupid gas tax holiday. Ron Paul came out in favor of it which shows you how good of an idea it is. There's also something else she does that really bugs Steve. And how can people say she's more experienced? She says she knows what was going on in the White House but obviously she didn't because Monica Lewinsky was in there with Bill Clinton getting the Presidential seal polished. |
| 6:04
| Mark knows Roman, he was introduced to him by the guitar player of his worship band. Whoa, whoa, what's a worship band? Mark plays in a band in one of those Rock & Roll churches. All the music sounds like big arena rock ballads only they're about Jesus. If you have to go to church you might as well rock. |
| 6:05
| Mark asked Roman who Steve was doing and he said he didn't know. Steve's tried to reach out to Roman but he never hears back. His wife probably thinks Steve is a bad influence, which he was. |
| 6:06
| Roman doesn't play in the band at Mark's church but he's been there a few times. All this time later Roman has become somewhat of a legend. |
| 6:07
| A lot of those Christian songs are good and Steve always wonders where the inspiration comes from. It's weird to Steve how stuff just pops into his head because he's basically an idiot. He comes in to the studio and stuff pops into his head and he doesn't know where it came from since he can barely remember to take out the garbage. |
| 6:08
| It makes Steve wonder if the Christian rock guys are getting inspiration for the best chords and lyrics because they're writing songs about God. There's big money in Christian rock too. Most of the Christian labels are owned by the big record companies too. |
| 6:09
| If Mark sees Roman again he should tell him to stop avoiding Steve. When Mark told Roman he listened to Steve everyday he sort of gave him a look like "you go to church and listen to Steve everyday?" Roman's a smart-ass and he always was a pain. |
| 6:10
| Mark thinks Steve could just hire someone and tell people it's Roman, no one would recognize him. Brendan would probably undergo plastic surgery to look like Roman for $2000. |
| 6:11
| There was another caller who said he knew Kidd Jackson. He never played on Ayatollah or any Teenage Radiation songs so listener Lisa, be careful. Maybe Steve should spin Ayatollah too, there are probably a lot of listeners who weren't even alive when it came out. |
| 6:12
| Buzz is wondering if Steve gets money every time he plays one of these parodies. Steve's pretty sure he didn't register them with BMI or ASCAP. And back then when you did a parody all of the money went to the original artist. |
| 6:13
| Things changed thought when rappers started sampling songs for their own music. |
| 6:14
| Song: Ayatollah, Steve Dahl & Teenage Radiation |
| 6:18
| Whenever you can work the word "Dudesicle" into a song you know you have something. Buzz thinks it might be the first time the word has ever been used in recorded song. |
| 6:19
| Caller Dwayne is down in Hammond, Indiana. Don't worry, Steve's Indiana election rant is over. Dwayne thought there was way too much coverage of the election though. Steve just got sick of seeing Hillary and Barack compete to see which one would be more blue collar. |
| 6:20
| You've got Hillary welding, she's a great welder, and then Barack's backing a truck up into a loading dock. Then they put Obama on a garbage truck and Hillary's working for the electric company repairing some high voltage wires. Then they both go off a do some shots. |
| 6:21
| Dwayne played in a band with a guy named Kidd Jackson and he assumes it's the same guy. They were in a Black Sabbath tribute band called Hands of Doom. It sounds like Kidd Jackson was just working a chick with his line. |
| 6:22
| It's a sad day when you have to work a chick like that but it's good news for Steve becuase it means he still has cache. Kidd Jackson was a good drummer though and he was really into Indian artifacts. Steve remembers that, maybe he sat in or something. The band should reform though with the success of the Iron Man movie. |
| 6:23
| On Roman's MySpace page it lists the Bible under favorite books. There's your problem right there. And under heroes, no mention of Steve?! |
| 6:24
| Steve's going to call Roman even though he never calls him back. Either his wife or the Bible won't let him return the call. Steve is not mentioned negatively in the Bible, nor is he mentioned positively. |
| 6:25
| After the break we're going to talk to that physical therapist who called in on Monday. She's enquiring about Buzz's leg. |
| 6:32
| Live read: Triton College |
| 6:33
| Caller Terry was calling about Buzz's leg. If you're just joining us, which Hawk says after every other batter in a Sox game, Terri is a physical therapist from Indianhead Park. |
| 6:34
| On Monday Buzz's leg was in great pain because on Sunday night he fell asleep in his chair at 11 pm, holding a cup of coffee. He woke up at 1:30 am, stood up and had an immense pain in his leg which dropped him to the ground. |
| 6:35
| Buzz, as per usual, rejected all diagnoses about what was wrong with his leg. Steve can be a crackpot sometimes but other people who are medical professionals also offered up suggestions of what it could be. |
| 6:36
| Buzz however thought it was a torn quadricep but he was just guessing like everyone else. When he went home on Monday Buzz was hoping Aimee would be able to look at it but she said she couldn't touch him for a few days. She recommended rest, ice, compression and elevation. He did that and it's getting better. |
| 6:37
| However Buzz could position his leg in a certain way and he'd probably go right down to the ground. Buzz is still limping a little bit but Steve thinks he might be faking it. He threw down hard with the torn quadricep and now he has to see it through to the end of the week. |
| 6:38
| Steve's glad to hear that Buzz is doing better though. There was a moment after Buzz went down where he thought he'd spontaneously broken his leg. Just by sitting in his chair? Maybe aliens came in and broke it while he was asleep. |
| 6:39
| On Monday Steve did find a website where a guy had a story about being abducted by aliens and waking up with pain in his leg. Did Buzz leave the sliding glass door open on accident? Aliens could probably go through it anyway. |
| 6:40
| Alright time for the web poll, brought to you by the Four Winds Casino in New Buffalo. It's a fantastic casino. Yesterday's web poll question was "Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?" We got an 89% no on that and we have a lot of female listeners. Apparently they're more man than our own Pete, who never misses an episode. How does Pete feel about that? |
| 6:41
| Pete questions the results because it's the 5th highest rated show on TV. There was that guy who called in yesterday and knew a lot of plot details but he said it was because his wife made him watch. So he's probably the kind of guy who would answer no to the web poll. |
| 6:42
| Today's web poll question is "Should John Cusack play Steve Dahl in the Disco Demolition movie?" That would be fine with Steve, he's really good. This article is from Vanity Fair. |
| 6:43
| John Cusack may be best known for holding up a boom box but he'll show his pensive side in the new movie War, Inc. which he also produced. What's with the boom box reference? Buzz thinks it's High Fidelity. Pete says it's Say Anything. Is that the one where he's a kickboxer? |
| 6:44
| This is a Q & A with John Cusack, it sounds like he could use some Prozac. The questions are sort of negative though or they're getting negative. |
| 6:45
| For the question who he most admires, John says Nelson Mandela. He gets a lot of credit for a guy who went to jail. And the U.S. basically got him out of jail. |
| 6:46
| Under who he most despises, John says war profiteers. He also uses the f-word which is not highlighted like it should be whenever something is brought into Steve. |
| 6:47
| John says if he could do one other thing it would be a musician, it's the closest thing to prayer. If he could change one thing about himself it would be to take himself less seriously. Steve's all for that. |
| 6:48
| This is the same Vanity Fair issue with Miley Cyrus on the cover, it's causing a lot of controversy in Buzz's house. It's not like she's naked and her parents were there during the photo shoot. Now they're saying they're going to sue. What did they think was going to happen when she took her shirt off and Annie Liebowitz started snapping photos? |
| 6:49
| If John could come back from death, he'd come back as a non-corporeal being, non-demonic of course. What does corporeal mean? |
| 6:50
| Some of John's heroes include Jesus, but not the gay-hating, war-causing creation of the right. |
| 6:51
| John's favorite name, Dr Zhivago. His greatest regret is living selfishly and he'd like to die while dreaming. |
| 6:52
| John's motto is an old Yugoslavian proverb. It's probably the same as Buzz's. "Tell the truth and run." He's going to have to lighten up if he's going to play Steve. We don't need a brooding, existential Steve in the movie. He didn't analyze anything, he just blew up records. People have rewritten history and called Steve a racist or a homophobe but he was just trying to have fun. |
| 6:59
| Vanity Fair is a girl's magazine right? Pete reads it so it must be a girl's magazine. Lately they've made an effort to become something of a cultural force but it's still a girl's magazine. |
| 7:00
| It's only acceptable for a guy to read it if a girl gives it to him because there's something interesting for him to read. You shouldn't have it sent to your house. Pete's silence through all this is deafening. |
| 7:01
| Pete should have the magazine sent here and then some girl can hand it to him. Steve was looking at the Miley Cyrus stuff, what's the big deal? There's a photo of her with her dad and his shirt is off but it's not like they're having sex or anything. |
| 7:02
| Buzz found it odd because the thing was so posed, it's very stylized. She has goosebumps, that's kind of hot. |
| 7:03
| It seems like something that the family did and then wanted to get mad about so they'd get more publicity. When you pose for these photos you have to figure they're going to end up in the magazine. |
| 7:04
| Steve thinks Chicago Magazine is also a girl's magazine, that's how hardcore he is. Pete gets that too but he subscribes to a lot of magazines. Does he still subscribe to Playgirl? He has a mint copy of the Burt Reynolds issue. |
| 7:05
| The average income of Vanity Fair readers is $79,000, the average age is 40 and the majority of readers are women. Pete does also subscribe to Sports Illustrated and ESPN the Magazine. Saturdays are long when you're just sitting around your house. Probably because word is out that Pete subscribes to Vanity Fair, chicks don't dig that. |
| 7:06
| News with Buzz |
| 7:07
| Barack Obama won the North Carolina primary while Hillary eeked out a narrow victory in Indiana. Isn't that good for Barack though since he was supposed to lose by much more? Hillary's never going to quit, she'll show up at the White House in January and try to arm wrestle Barack if he wins. |
| 7:08
| Barack Obama continued his election day tradition of playing basketball and was knocked down by our own state treasurer, Alexi Giannoulias. Campaign manager David Axelrod also played in the game. See this is a pick-up game that they've been playing in for a while, it's not fake or anything. |
| 7:09
| Steve thought there was a caller on hold to say that Vanity Fair is also for men but it actually says that Esquire is for men and Vanity Fair is for women. Steve knows that already though but he thought the guy would be a friend for Pete to hang out with on those long, lonely Saturdays. Pete never said lonely but he didn't have to. |
| 7:10
| Steve only gets one magazine, Mac World. There are a bunch of other magazines sent to the house but Steve never reads those. Buzz loves Men's Health which Steve knows because he quotes it everyday. |
| 7:11
| Al Sharpton is now leading a protest over the acquittal of three policemen in the shooting death of Sean Bell on his wedding day. Protests will take place in separate locations across New York City. |
| 7:12
| Frat brothers who used text messages to make drug deals were just a few of many people arrested at a drug sting at San Diego State University. It was probably fun while it lasted, weed, meth, blow, X. Something like that gets Steve to go to college. |
| 7:13
| A highly organized drug ring working on the North Side is no more. Police spent months infiltrating the ring, run by the Insane Spanish Cobras. Nice name! There used to be the Insane Unknowns which is where Steve got the Insane Coho Lips name from. He was driving and heard a report about them on the news and then drove by Burnham Harbor, where they had the coho fleet. Steve's not sure where he got Lips from though. |
| 7:14
| The leader of a doomsday cult in Northern New Mexico is in jail, accused of sexually abusing three children. The state has taken custody of the 2 girls and one boy. If you're in a doomsday cult you probably think you can do whatever you want. |
| 7:15
| The fate of the city's children's museum will take center stage at city council meetings next week. The president of the museum believes that Chicago can't be left behind, we need a new museum. Left behind of what, the history of fingerpainting? |
| 7:16
| Regular museums are for kids too, aren't they? A children's museum is just a dumbed-down version of a regular museum. Why can't they just leave the museum at Navy Pier, it's the perfect place? |
| 7:17
| They've got that woman, who's either a Crown or a Pritzker, who funded a lot of Millennium Park. She wants the museum there for some reason and apparently Daley is her bitch. |
| 7:18
| Buzz would like to send this out to David Hochberg. A new study shows that father's of 9-month-old daughters showed symptoms of clinical depression. His daughter is only 9 weeks old so it's something to look forward to. He's descending into madness as we speak. |
| 7:25
| Live read: National City |
| 7:26
| It's Gigi Pritzker who's pressure Daley to put the Children's Museum in Millennium Park. She's worth $1.7 billion but she's married. That's too bad, she'd be worth pursuing. |
| 7:27
| Gigi is the grandchild of A.N. Pritzker who with his sons Jay and Robert created Marmon and the hotel chain Hyatt. Plans to pass the empire to Jay's son Tom, cousin Nick and niece Penny collapsed in 2001. |
| 7:28
| Are they trying to move the Children's Museum off of Navy Pier so they can put a casino there? She also produces movies, maybe she could produce the Disco Demolition movie. If she did that Steve wouldn't care where she moved the museum. |
| 7:29
| She produced The Wedding Planner, not to be confused with The Wedding Singer, as well as Green Street Hooligans, Mean Creek and Hostile Intent. If she's looking for a hit Steve has one on his desk. |
| 7:30
| OK, Steve has a couple of hunting-related stories. An 8-year old boy who recently completed a hunting project for school died in a hunting accident. He was accidentally shot by his father while hunting turkey in Minnesota. |
| 7:31
| The boy, ironically named Hunter, was shot in the chest by his father's 12-gauge shotgun. The boy was dressed in camo and was mistaken for a turkey by his father. Was he wearing turkey camouflage? |
| 7:32
| And here's another accident from turkey season, the most dangerous season of the year. Police in Oldham County, Kentucky, say a father accidentally shot his son while they were turkey hunting. |
| 7:33
| Steve never mistook his sons for a turkey but just to be on the safe side they never went turkey hunting. |
| 7:34
| The father and son became separated during the hunt. If Steve were hunting and separated from someone with him he wouldn't shoot anything until he found that person. |
| 7:35
| Can't you just buy a turkey in the store? It's probably more fun to kill the bird yourself but it's no fun when you come home with a dead son. |
| 7:36
| Caller Naomi has been turkey hunting. When you go out you're totally camouflaged and you can't make any sudden moves. Turkeys have very good eye sight. They're known for that, you never see a turkey wearing glasses. |
| 7:37
| That being said, you have to know where the other people in your party are when you're hunting. Naomi hunts with her family and this kind of stuff gives hunters a bad name. |
| 7:38
| 30 yards away seems too far for an 8-year-old to be, at least for Nancy. Steve thought you were supposed to walk in a straight line, side-by-side, while hunting. |
| 7:39
| That's how you do it when you pheasant hunt but you can wear orange in that situation because their eye sight isn't great. Pheasants are the Mr. Magoo of the bird world. |
| 7:40
| If a bird gets flushed out you can't have someone in front of you, everyone needs to be side-by-side. Steve went duck hunting with his dad, it was a miserable experience. |
| 7:41
| They used to set up these garbage cans in the rice patties and you'd sit in there and wait for the ducks. Steve's dad was in back of him and a duck got flushed out. Just as Steve was going to shoot the bird his dad shot at it over his head. |
| 7:42
| Usually Steve's job was to find the ducks that the dogs couldn't find and then bring them in and clean them. Steve packed it in after that, he went back to sleep. |
| 7:49
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:50
| Alright, Bob and Ron are here for Wake & Bake Wednesday. Steve used Bob and Ron in his Thought for the Day. It was a no-hitter for Gavin Floyd going into the 9th last night. It was something about him having a no-hitter and Bob and Ron having a one-hitter. |
| 7:51
| At least says Bob! Bob and Ron are not fans of no-hitters. They're just piling on Steve's joke that's already done. Bob's wondering how Floyd's light show is. |
| 7:52
| Bob and Ron are on the verge of being broken up by Steve. It's just going to be Ron with rock history. All Bob needs to do is keep his yapper shut. Steve's also changed their song to track 5. |
| 7:53
| How's the dogwalking business? Ron's actually been getting a few new customers, probably from mentions on the show. Bob never saw any of those new clients though. Between Bob and Ron Steve would rather have Ron. You don't want Bob in your house do you? |
| 7:54
| Ron usually gets new clients from word-of-mouth or through the show. They're not advertising on billboards or anything? Bob hasn't got any new clients but he's given out some business cards. |
| 7:55
| Where is Bob's business card at? Does he just have one of those fliers up at Dominick's that you rip the tab of paper off of? They're both in dogwalking gangs, Ron is an Insane Pooper Scooper and Bob is a Latin Dog Doo. |
| 7:56
| It's puppy season so Bob is expecting some new clients very quickly. He spends a lot of time at dog parks, people see him with dogs and they ask him for his card. How do they know he's a dogwalker and not just a dog lover? Ron carries a large set of keys so people know what he does. |
| 7:57
| Buzz is wondering if Bob knows a dogwalker in his neighborhood. She came out of the condo with a dog and it went right in front of the doo making a huge puddle. Is this where Buzz Kilman, Condo Policeman, steps in? |
| 7:58
| Buzz had to actually go off-sidewalk to get around the puddle and then he went and got a bucket and washed it all away. He probably wasn't happy when he did it either. |
| 7:59
| Buzz is a condo policeman. He doesn't care if his neighbors are gay but he doesn't want them hanging a pride flag. And he likes to patrol his street putting stickers on illegally parked cars. |
| 8:00
| Steve understands where Buzz is coming from. There's a doctor's office near the entrance to Steve's neighborhood and the people who work there park on the street because it's closer. |
| 8:01
| If someone in the neighborhood parks on the other side of the street then only one car can get through at a time. The women in the doctor's office only park there because they're lazy and don't want to walk further to their parking lot. Steve was thinking of getting some stickers, maybe something that says "Fat-asses" or something. |
| 8:02
| Keying the cars are also an option but Steve's not sure where the security cameras are. But it's the busiest street in the neighborhood and they're parking there. |
| 8:03
| Buzz warns Steve about the road of the vigilante he's going down. Once you start you can't stop. It starts with stickers on cars and then you escalate from there. |
| 8:04
| Steve has decided to just go down a different street, that's how he's dealing with it. Although it still bugs him when he has to go down that street. |
| 8:05
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Wednesday which means it's time for Stories Outside the Bun. |
| 8:06
| Today's story is from a listener who's husband thinks Taco Bell is only for high schoolers. This woman's husband is an idiot. Her story centers around the time she spent the night at her cousin's house which was 5 blocks from a taco bell. |
| 8:07
| That night they went to get 10 soft shell tacos and brought them back home, enjoying each one. Enjoy every taco, that's Steve's motto. The next morning they woke up decided that 10 more tacos would be a great breakfast. |
| 8:08
| Unfortunately they had no money left, having spent it the night before. So they went to their other cousin's room and took money from the money jar under her bed. |
| 8:09
| Alright back to the knuckleheads, already in progress. Today marks the anniversary of the release of the Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street. Vinyl collectors out there know that it comes with a set of 4 postcards. |
| 8:10
| Steve knows that's considered one of the best albums of all time but he's never been a big fan. Are Bob and Ron really fans or do they just like it because they're supposed to? The Stones had much better albums that Exile on Main Street. Steve feels it's derivative, of The Stones and other rock music. |
| 8:11
| It's also Chris Frantz's birthday this week, he was the drummer in Talking Heads. |
| 8:12
| Song: Once in a Lifetime, Talking Heads |
| 8:16
| Earlier Steve was talking about gang names for Bob and Ron. Ron was in the Insane Pooper Scoopers but Steve fell short on Bob's name, the Latin Dog Doos. Bob's new gang is the Latin Leg Lifters. |
| 8:17
| Of course then Bob has to throw in "For life" which adds nothing to the joke. Bob has been living unchecked for far too long and he's not that talented. |
| 8:24
| Hillary Clinton cancelled all of her appearances today. It could lead one to believe she's dropping out or maybe she just doesn't feel like defending herself for staying in the race. |
| 8:25
| |
| 8:26
| By the way, Steve had a little meatloaf the Sox game last night. Every time Steve talks about his Scout Seats he gets an email from some guy accusing him of showing off. He says Steve should talk more about what he does but in order to do that Steve has to talk about going to the Sox game. This is the only thing he really spends money on but trust him, he used to spend money on way worse stuff. |
| 8:27
| Steve was at the game with his trainer who actually wanted to hit the buffet twice. What kind of trainer wants to do that?! They actually brought Steve his own bottle of ketchup for the meatloaf. He couldn't find the gravy for the mashed potatoes so he tucked some butter in there where his trainer couldn't see it. |
| 8:28
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time with Pat Boyle. Steve got a late-night email from Pat regarding the possible no-hitter. Even though the Sox had given up a run it was unearned. |
| 8:29
| As it turned out Gavin Floyd threw a no-hitter for 8 1/3rd innings. It's an incredible story with Gavin, who was 1-5 last year. He's also the guy who fell off the mound when he first got to spring training. Steve was merciless about that and he felt guilty last night. |
| 8:30
| He's almost thrown 2 no-hitters this season already. Steve thinks he realized it was a no-hitter before most people. When you see that the Twins have one run you don't think about a no-hitter. Steve saw Jack Morris throw a no-hitter and still lose the game. |
| 8:31
| People started getting excited in the 8th inning and then by the 9th everyone was standing up for the first out of the inning. Steve thinks that's a mistake because the kid is only 25. |
| 8:32
| Steve thinks the only second-guessing that should go on is not putting Brian Anderson in center. Swisher's a good outfielder but Anderson is faster and at that point, with the score being 7-1, you don't have to worry about losing Swisher's bat. |
| 8:33
| On the way home people were second-guessing taking Floyd out of the game after he gave up the hit but he was over 100 pitches. |
| 8:34
| That game was on WCIU last night and they really need to work on their sound. They always have the crowd louder than the announcers. This happened before and Steve blamed Pete's receiver. |
| 8:35
| It was still an exciting game, Steve's just glad they got 7 runs mostly on singles and doubles. Floyd got a shaving cream pie to the face and it seemed to have a green tinge to it. |
| 8:36
| The Cubs won last night as well, that Zambrano is a one-man wrecking crew. So far he's been the best pitcher in town this year. Kerry Wood, who blew Zambrano's last game, got the save. |
| 8:37
| The Cubs are back in action at 11:35 this morning in the Queen City. Comcast has both the Cubs and Sox games on today. |
| 8:38
| Cedric Benson was up at Halas Hall yesterday. Is he also looking for a boat at Chicago Searay? There was a story in the Trib today about a female passenger on the boat who backs up Benson's story. |
| 8:39
| She was concerned enough about Benson's safety while he was being taken into custody that she called her parents to get them to call 911. She told her parents that her "black friend" was being arrested by police. Steve's going with the valley girl voice on this one. |
| 8:40
| The girl said Cedric seemed scared which he probably doesn't appreciate. Imagine her calling the dad and him finding out she's on Cedric Benson's boat. |
| 8:41
| Benson has already told friends he would like to to file a lawsuit against Travis County authorities because of the arrest. Steve would just let it go. |
| 8:42
| The woman and her fiance said they'd been boating with Benson 6 times this spring and had been stopped by the Lower Colorado River Authority each time. |
| 8:43
| As Benson was being taken away he pleaded with his mother to make them stop. That's really not the quote you want in this story is it? |
| 8:44
| The LCRA report describes Benson as being cocky, smelling of alcohol and falling to the ground. That's the Cedric Benson Steve knows, falling to the ground. |
| 8:45
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 8:53
| What was that drop? Warner Saunders was saying that he heard the blow-up dolls in the Sox lockerroom where American Girl dolls. |
| 8:54
| Warner might have been joking but then after Paula Faris freaked out he back-pedaled and said some players told him. What players? Does Jermaine Dye live in his building or something? |
| 8:55
| As Steve said in his blog they should have gone with dolls without holes in them, that's your best bet. Maybe they shouldn't allow the media into the clubhouse though. |
| 8:56
| Pat Boyle's going to disagree with that of course. Buzz doesn't get the point of the media being in the lockerroom. How else are they going to get quotes from the players, while they're naked and amped up, that they can use against them? |
| 8:57
| Major League Baseball is investigating but Steve's not sure what for. The fake slumpbuster obviously didn't work so they had to come back here and find a Southside monstrosity. And then they scored 7 runs last night. |
| 8:58
| People didn't used to even know what a slumpbuster was and it certainly wasn't reported. It shouldn't be reported now, it's part of the inner workings of baseball that people don't need to know about. |
| 8:59
| The only people who need to know about the slumpbusting are the buster and the bustee. And both parties were happy with that arrangement. |
| 9:00
| Pat has some audio of Kenny Williams and Joe Crede. Kenny had a more whimsical attitude about it before, he said something about no dolls being harmed during this. |
| 9:01
| Adam Archuleta was finally released by the Bears, he sucked. The Hawks let Dan Kelly go as their TV guy and that clears the way for Pat Foley to probably return. |
| 9:02
| Foley is with the Wolves now but his contract is up once |
| 9:03
| The Bulls also made a change, Neil Funk and Stacy King will be doing TV for them and Tom Dore and Wayne Larrivee are out. Chuck Swirsky is coming back to do radio for the Bulls. |
| 9:04
| Chuck Swirsky was an idiot and even though he knows a lot about sports it wasn't enough to compensate. He left town and become a born again. Buzz might have been there when it happened. |
| 9:05
| And speaking of that, Pat got a shout-out at church. While he was going up for communion the priest, Father Terry, said "Body of Christ, Peanut Butter". You never know when you're going to get a Peanut Butter shout-out. |
| 9:06
| Steve knows Father Terry, he wanted to be his personal priest. Steve prefers to have a person nun and he has one. He's going to get Buzz a personal nun and they can double date. Pat's welcome to join Night of a Thousand Penguins. |
| 9:07
| We've got one more clip here of Ron Santo, it's pretty funny. On Friday Aramis Ramirez got hit in the wrist and was out for 3 games. During last night's game Comcast showed a clip of it and Ron saw it and thought it happened again. |
| 9:08
| You have to like Pat Hughes because he just rolls with it. Pat knew exactly what happened, Ron thought that Aramis got hit again and didn't notice he was wearing a different uniform. |
| 9:16
| Kenny Williams probably got yelled at by someone for his original inflatable doll comments so he had to make new ones that were less whimsical. It's just a blow-up doll! Baseball players do way worse things to real dolls. |
| 9:17
| Live read: Seattle Sutton |
| 9:18
| Alright, it's time for Meat Talk with Chef Hans, esteemed chef at Smith & Wollensky. Hans has to say hello to Steve from an entire chef's table of women who were at Disco Demolition. |
| 9:19
| And of course tomorrow is the special event at Charlie Trotter's. They'll have some cocktails and hors d'oeuvres and Bill Kurtis will be there as well as some other celebrities. Which celebrities? |
| 9:20
| Bill Kurtis has a cookbook out about the Tallgrass Beef. First they have to go to Smith & Wollensky so Buzz can get his chicken demo. |
| 9:21
| Steve was wondering why they had to go over there, it's because Buzz is learning to make chicken. Buzz would rather do it on a separate day. So is Buzz going to do the chicken demo before or after he goes there to make gravy? |
| 9:22
| Buzz has actually solved his gravy crisis off of Hans' advice. But Buzz wants to be totally engrained in the Smith & Wollensky kitchen, he doesn't want to have to go off to some other event. |
| 9:23
| Hearing Bill Kurtis talk about his book is sort of going to be like an acid trip. It'll be hard to keep it together for Buzz when he hears Bill talk. |
| 9:24
| There's something about Chef Hans that makes these events that would seemingly be awkward end up being OK. |
| 9:25
| Over the last few years Hans has convinced Steve to go to some events that he didn't really want to do and they ended up being great. |
| 9:26
| Steve's been looking for some more information about the event but he can't find it anywhere. Hans imagines it'll be sort of like a press conference. A breast conference? |
| 9:27
| Charlie Trotter will probably host the event and say a few words about Steve being there. Charlie's a big fan, he listens everyday. |
| 9:28
| Steve has the Tallgrass Beef website up and there's a video about it hosted by Bill. |
| 9:29
| One question Hans has is what the grass-fed cows eat during the winter. Will he be asking that question at the press conference? Maybe it's mild enough where the cows are that the grass grows year-round. |
| 9:30
| Grass makes the beef taste different though. When Hans was younger his dad has rabbits and a few weeks before he killed them he'd feed them parsley which would make the meat taste different. |
| 9:31
| Steve likes Bill Kurtis but he thinks he prefers the corn-fed beef. He grew up out West where they had grass-fed so Steve's had both. |
| 9:32
| That being said, Hans should raise his hand and bring that up in the press conference. Hans will tell Bill that Steve thinks grass-fed is crap then Bill will think he said "Crab" and Charlie will have to translate. |
| 9:33
| Buzz wants to know who else will be at this event. He has to wonder why he's invited, it's like the old Groucho Marx joke where you don't want to be in a club that would have him as a member. |
| 9:34
| Hans assures Buzz that very special people are being invited to the event, along with Steve and Buzz and maybe Drew Peterson. |
| 9:35
| Drew is choosing to ignore Hans' joke about his speeding ticket. And he heard what was said yesterday and he doesn't appreciate it. |
| 9:36
| How many 22-year-old broads do Hans and Buzz know that are friends of theirs? What about Steve? Steve always leaves the room when Drew comes in because he's afraid of him and his martial arts skills. |
| 9:37
| Steve Dahls goes tanning too but he's always undressing with the blinds open so the girls who work there can see him. Then they have to come by and ask him to close the blinds. |
| 9:38
| Drew wouldn't mind an invite to tomorrow's event, he'd like to meet Bill Kurtis. This whole thing with the 22-year-old could be a new angle to the story. |
| 9:39
| Hans will also have a video for Steve about the guy who dances on those bridges near the river. Steve is exhausted by this conversation. |
| 9:40
| Hans is talking about that idiot who dances in front of the ABC studios in weird suits. He's not an idiot though, he's very smart and he works for the county. You have to be smart to work for the county. |
| 9:41
| He is legally blind though. Is that why he's wearing the bad suits? The documentary was made by a waitress at S & W who's also an aspiring actress. |
| 9:42
| So is Steve going to Smith & Wollensky tomorrow or not? Hans does still need a ride up to Charlie Trotter's but Buzz would rather do the chicken demo at a later date. |
| 9:43
| So the chicken thing is just a scam for Hans to get a ride? If Steve drives everyone to the event he'll have to drive everyone home right? |
| 9:44
| Mother's Day is Sunday and there's a special 5-course dinner at S & W, they'll be serving it until 10 pm on Sunday. |
| 9:45
| Steve and Buzz will see Hans tomorrow wherever they meet. Steve has nothing else to do tomorrow, he can go learn how to make a chicken. For some reason he's in a hurry to go nowhere. |
| 9:46
| If Buzz wants to go beyond chicken he can learn how to be a broiler man. Steve could be a broiler man, he wouldn't mind it either. He'd need a steak on the cutting board that he'd always be working on. Or else he'd just carve off the best looking piece of whatever steak he pulled out of the broiler. |
| 9:47
| Hans will remember next time when Steve comes to dinner to have the broiler man cut off a piece of Steve's steak. He'll send it back, just so Hans knows. |
| 9:54
| That was a drop from Bill Kurtis' documentary about Drew Peterson. He didn't really interview Drew, he just had a producer do it. Bill doesn't really do that many interviews. Bill was probably down on the range, dealing with his herd. |
| 9:55
| Only a trained eye could pick up that Bill isn't really talking to the interview subjects. Sometimes he just takes tape from the BBC and puts his own voice on it. His voice is as good as a British accent. |
| 9:56
| Bill's looking forward to seeing Steve and Buzz at the event tomorrow ∫ut he doesn't want to hear any smart-ass comments about grass-fed beef. |
| 9:57
| Live read: Pro Flowers |
| 9:58
| Buzz has a bit of news from the first sound bite on the CD in the studio. It's Hillary talking about her win yesterday. She says she's broken the tie and she's on the road to the White House. She's insane, someone needs to stop her. |
| 9:59
| Steve's not saying he's for Barack or McCain or Hillary but what she's saying is insane. The numbers don't add up because they're not counting Florida and Michigan. She's like Tommy Flanagan, the guy Jon Lovitz played on SNL. |
| 10:00
| Hillary's starting to take on a Joker look, the Jack Nicholson version. She's always smiling, talking about breaking the tie. |
| 10:01
| You can't count Florida or Michigan because Barack wasn't on the ballot. But she doesn't care about that. |
