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| 5:31
| Steve forgot for a moment how we start the show. He was just so excited to get on the air. |
| 5:32
| Steve was just down the hall watching the sunrise. He's decided to do that everyday. When you have Pilates pants it's incumbent on you to do cosmic stuff like that. |
| 5:33
| Although Steve isn't currently taking Pilates. He's decided that he'd rather lift weights instead of do that and Pilates. Buzz thought the Pilates were in place of the weightlifting. |
| 5:34
| Steve would do both if he were Robert Downey Jr. getting in shape for Iron Man but he's just getting in shape to sit in a chair for 4 1/2 hours everyday. Although Steve preferred having the Pilates instructor touching him over the trainer. |
| 5:35
| Steve also got sick of everyone making fun of him for taking Pilates. Everyone was calling him a queer. Plus summer is coming up and Steve likes to run the MILF route in his neighborhood. |
| 5:36
| Although the other day Steve was out around 3:30 and there was nary a MILF. It was like Jericho. Speaking of that, Steve saw that I Am Legend movie last week. |
| 5:37
| Normally when Steve gets a pay-per-view movie he falls asleep during it. But I Am Legend had those demons and every time Steve drifted off the demons was scream. Buzz liked the movie but it was no Omega Man. |
| 5:38
| Steve might have to run around 2:30, that's when most kids are getting home from school. Yesterday he ran and no one was out there but it was raining. Actually there was one dude running the wrong way and an old lady walking her dog, moving faster than Steve. |
| 5:39
| Steve meant to run before brunch yesterday but didn't get to it. It's really hard to run after brunch, especially a crazy brunch. Steve didn't run until later and he listened to the same Jimmy Eat World song over and over. He finds it makes the run go faster if he's listening to the same song. |
| 5:40
| Steve could hear the song again just because he likes it and he wants to hear it. He can just play a clip for Buzz though. |
| 5:41
| Steve doesn't have the song on repeat though so he has to keep reaching down to skip back to the beginning. |
| 5:42
| Usually Steve doesn't notice that he's skipping back on the iPod but when he does start to notice he figures it's time to find a new song. |
| 5:43
| Caller Jeff's brother is an idiot. Jeff used to do a lot of running and his brother said it's easy. So he showed up at a 5K Jeff was doing through a pumpkin patch and field. He ran the race in construction boots and the conditions were bad. |
| 5:44
| Jeff's brother got passed up by a lady pushing a stroller although he didn't come in last place. He was interviewed by the paper because he looked like he just came from a job site. It sounds like Jeff is jealous. There he is standing in his gay running shorts while his brother throws on a pair of Red Wings and gets a newspaper interview. |
| 5:45
| Steve gets passed by everyone but he doesn't let it get to him. He puts on his heart rate monitor, gets his heart rate up to where he wants it and tries to stay in that. He burned over 600 which was just one plate of food from his brunch. |
| 5:46
| Steve had brunch at the Mid America Club in the Aon Building. Steve used to belong to the club in the Prudential Building but they shut that down and transferred his membership over there. |
| 5:47
| It's not as convenient because it's not in the building but it is connected by a tunnel. Steve's like a drug dealer in that he's trying to buy legitimacy, so he's planning on paying an extra fee to be listed as a founding member of the Mid America Club, which has been around for 30 years. |
| 5:54
| Steve's Thought for the Day on Friday was "After nearly six years, R. Kelly might reluctantly be forced to have his day in court today, and if he does, our own Brendan Greeley will be handling our courtroom coverage perhaps while 'Standing In The Closet.'" |
| 5:55
| Someone took the time over the weekend to point out that the song is called Trapped in the Closet. At some point in the song he does say "I'm standing in the closet." |
| 5:56
| The email is from ArrogantPunk, who Steve would like blocked from his email account. Maybe Ed could do it if he's not too tired from attending the wedding of Steve's former assistant and his former archivist, a wedding he was not invited to, not even as a courtesy. |
| 5:57
| Steve is currently conducting a witch hunt to determine which other staff members were at the wedding. When he finds out he will punish them to the fullest extent they can be punished. |
| 5:58
| So far Ed is the only person Steve knows of who went to the wedding. He's part of that club of people who hate Steve. Steve's doctor is also in that club so he might need to rethink things. |
| 5:59
| Brendan is on the phone from the Cook County courthouse. So that emailer pointed out that Steve's Thought for the Day was wrong but although thought maybe he was going for a Golden Helmets thing. |
| 6:00
| Golden Helmets is what Steve calls the fake movie Dawson was making on Dawson's Creek. He can't remember what it was actually called though. |
| 6:01
| So Brendan was at the courthouse all day on Friday, excitedly waiting for R. Kelly's arrival. And then R. Kelly showed up and Brendan forgot to call in because he was so excited to see him. |
| 6:02
| What do the fans call him when he arrives? Do they say R? Kelly? Brendan has heard a lot of people call him Kells. What about Ped? Hey Ped! Buzz thinks that's unfair, R. Kelly is just a victim of geography. |
| 6:03
| If he was in the South he probably wouldn't be on trial. You can marry a girl who's 15! You'd need her permission though, you can't just go into a high school and starting meeting girls. |
| 6:04
| So Brendan got into the courtroom on Friday when Kelly's lawyers were talking about how the jury pool could be influenced by the media attention. But when the jury came in he kicked the media out. |
| 6:05
| Brendan was sitting next to a reporter from Jet Magazine which was pretty cool. He was mainly in awe that R. Kelly was sitting there though. From where he was sitting he could see the Sears Tower just past R. Kelly through a window. How picturesque. |
| 6:06
| The media was supposed to be let back into the court room when the judge introduced the jury to R. Kelly but he never did. Is Brendan going to demand a meeting with the judge in chambers today? |
| 6:07
| Steve thinks that they added that ramp and garden area when R. Kelly comes in just for the trial. They did spruce up the courtroom so it's possible. That's an angle Brendan should look into. |
| 6:08
| Just like Michael Jackson, R. Kelly has a guy filming him throughout this whole thing. That didn't work out too well for Michael though did it? Steve hasn't seen it in any theaters. |
| 6:09
| Brendan did learn that Judge Vincent Gaughan flew out to L.A. to observe the Michael Jackson trial to see what it might be like with R. Kelly. Plus he gets to spend some time in Santa Barbara on the taxpayer's dollar. |
| 6:10
| Brendan is currently on the media terrace with someone from Fox. Did Brendan get kicked out of his parking space by Fox today? Vic wasn't there today but it was a guy who looked just like him from behind. Brendan also talked to Anita Padilla. She really gets there early. |
| 6:11
| Over the weekend Steve saw something troubling. On Saturday morning and Saturday night Ginger Zee was wearing the exact same top. That's funky, even Steve knows that. even if she took it off during the day it's still funky. |
| 6:12
| Steve felt dirty after watching that though. She needs a shower, like that one in Silkwood. Did Cher give Meryl Streep the shower? |
| 6:13
| So what's Brendan's plan for today? R. Kelly is coming back today so Brendan is just going to hang out on the media terrace. |
| 6:14
| He's excited to see R. Kelly come back today and everyday. He needs to maintain radio contact though. At some point on Friday Brendan just hung up so R. Kelly could sign his breast. |
| 6:15
| R. Kelly was not blinged out on Friday right? He has to be more austere for court probably. If Steve were his attorney he'd advise R. Kelly to even lose the corn rows. It's not a good look anyway. |
| 6:16
| Buzz thinks that corn rows sell records. Diddy doesn't have corn rows though and he sells records? Aren't they basically the same? |
| 6:17
| Buzz always thought Diddy was mainstream and R. Kelly was very outside. He's not that outside. He did I Believe I Can Fly, that's pretty mainstream. What is this argument about here? Steve doesn't think you need to have corn rows to sell records. Snoop Dogg has them though but he's Snoop Dogg. |
| 6:18
| Buzz is wondering if R. Kelly will be bring in any character witnesses. Brendan would love to see Snoop Dogg testify. |
| 6:19
| It says in one article that jury selection could take a week and the trial itself could take several weeks. Steve's guessing that if R. Kelly's attorneys have kept this thing out of court for 6 years they're going to take the full week to pick the jury. |
| 6:20
| Brendan can get in to see the jury selection but he has to alternate with people from MTV. MTV?! We're local plus they don't even have news! |
| 6:21
| Buzz doesn't think Steve should discount Kurt Loder that easily. He is like the Walter Cronkite of MTV News. |
| 6:22
| Maybe Steve should buy donuts for everyone in the media tomorrow. It's a good idea to get on their good side in case Steve or Buzz are ever on trial. |
| 6:23
| Steve also wants to know who's covering the story for the local media. Anita Padilla is already there and she actually invited Brendan to warm up in the news van. Really?! Steve might need to come out there tomorrow. |
| 6:24
| Is she wearing leather again? And if so, Buzz wants to know what kind. Is it a leather jacket and leather pants? She was sitting down so Brendan couldn't really see her lap. That's probably better that he didn't try to look. |
| 6:30
| There's some Kurt Loder for you. Brendan covering the trial is more real than whoever MTV has sent over. |
| 6:31
| The Cook County courthouse got a makeover for the trial because of the national and international media attention the trial. They repainted the entrance, put in a new information desk and restrained all of the benches in Judge Gaughan's courtroom. |
| 6:32
| Steve thinks they also put that circular walkway in for the trial as well. He walks in and out with two guys behind him, plus the guy with the camera. It seems like there should be one guy in front and one guy in back to sort of hide him. |
| 6:33
| Does he need the camera there? Hasn't the camera got him into enough trouble? Does he need to remind people about it? |
| 6:34
| Buzz imagines it would be tough for R. Kelly if he does get convicted. 6 years later you think the whole thing is behind you and then you get convicted. During those 6 years he could have served his time in jail. |
| 6:35
| Of course had he been in jail we wouldn't have the Trapped in the Closet series. Steve thinks he'll be convicted, you can count on it. |
| 6:36
| Although Michael Jackson wasn't convicted, nor was OJ. It probably just takes a few knuckleheads on the jury to find him innocent. Steve doesn't trust the opinion of anyone who actually has time to serve on a jury. |
| 6:37
| Friday's web poll question was "Are you getting sick of the Democratic nomination process?" The only option was yes so that was 100%. Steve caught a little Meet the Press yesterday. |
| 6:38
| If you don't really watch any news over the weekend you can watch Meet the Press and get pretty caught up. That Terry McCauliffe guy was on talking about how Hillary can still win because she's pretty close behind with the delegate count. |
| 6:39
| Tim Russert pointed out that she's only close if you count Michigan and Florida, which Terry agreed with and then moved on. He probably thought that was over but then 20 minutes later Russert drops a tape on him of Hillary saying Michigan and Florida won't count. |
| 6:40
| Today's web poll question is "Did you get a Jenna and Henry mug?" Jenna Bush and Henry Hager were married in Crawford, Texas over the weekend. While planning the wedding Jenna said she could never see herself. |
| 6:41
| Steve has to take back what he said about Jenna getting married now because she wanted a White House wedding. Turns out she didn't want one. |
| 6:42
| The band leader picked You Are So Beautiful for the father-daughter dance. Buzz is wondering if it's the Joe Cocker version. The band was asked to play Lovin' in My Baby's Eyes by Taj Mahal for the first dance. Sounds like a fun band. |
| 6:43
| Away from the glare of cameras Jenna's outdoor wedding reflected the family's penchant for privacy and her preference for the casual over the grand. Someone has taught Jenna and Barbara to pose for photos though. |
| 6:44
| Jenna is the 22nd child of a president to get married while their father was in the Oval Office. The media was not invited although the details of the wedding while be reported on for generations. |
| 6:45
| Steve's going to go ahead and switch to gay wedding planner to read the rest fo this article. Jenna's twin sister Barbara was the maid of honor and 14 other women were in her "house party." Does that mean wedding party? |
| 6:46
| The best man was Hager's brother Jack and 14 ushers walked with the 14 women in the house party down the aisle to their seats. |
| 6:47
| The ceremony began about a half hour before sunset, the couple stood at a cross made of beige colored Texas limestone. It will remain on the ranch along with the altar. |
| 6:48
| The ceremony was officiated over by Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell who's an Obama supporter. it doesn't matter though, it's all God. |
| 6:49
| Although the wedding was a big deal for Crawford most of the town's residents didn't get a chance to see the bride and groom. However photos of the couple are plastered on mugs, t-shirts and other souvenirs being sold in the town. |
| 6:57
| That was Terry McCauliffe on Meet the Press. Who's the "Big Russ" he's referring to? Pete says Big Russ is Tim Russert's dad, who McCauliffe mistakenly thought was dead. |
| 6:58
| Tim wrote a book about his dad and McCauliffe later tried to clean it up by saying he'd read it. You have to do that if you're going to try to pass that Michigan/Florida stuff by Tim Russert. |
| 6:59
| Steve is really sick of all of that and it's not because he's an Obama supporter or anything. Everyone knows he's voting for Ron Paul. |
| 7:00
| McCauliffe was on TV all morning with that same rap about Michigan and Florida. The guy on CBS just let it go, what does he care? He got passed over for Katie Couric. |
| 7:01
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 7:02
| Is that Brendan on hold? Should we talk to him as part of the news? Brendan is live at the Cook County courthouse at 26th and California for the People vs. Robert Kelly. |
| 7:03
| Brendan's pretty sure we're the only station offering continuing coverage although Anita Padilla is doing a lot of reports. There's someone here from ABC but Brendan doesn't know who she is. Can he describe her? |
| 7:04
| In The Truman Show Jim Carrey is secretly in love with a woman and he constructs a photo of her by cutting out photos from magazines. That's who the reporter looks like. The only woman Steve knows from that movie is Laura Linney. |
| 7:05
| The other woman is Natascha McElhone. Steve's going to say it's Anna Devlantes. Brendan thinks he'd recognize her though. |
| 7:06
| Natalie Martinez is reporting from NBC, she just called to yell at us for not knowing it was her. That's a pretty complimentary description Brendan gave of her though. |
| 7:07
| Since Brendan was last on he did some research and tried to find out when the circular walkway was built. No one who worked there seemed to know but Brendan spent some time walking up and down it. Was he getting into his R. Kelly character? |
| 7:08
| They could have built the walkway for the trial 6 years ago since that's how long they've been trying to get R. Kelly into the courthouse. |
| 7:09
| Brendan needs to go apologize to Natalie Martinez even though she he gave her a pretty favorable comparison. He might need to bring in some breakfast for the press corps tomorrow. |
| 7:10
| News with Buzz |
| 7:11
| Reports from China say that almost 900 students were buried during the earthquake that hit yesterday. |
| 7:12
| President Bush's pleas for lower oil price will likely fall on deaf ears while he travels to Saudi Arabia this week. Is he appearing at Zanie's because he's going to be laughed out of the country. Gas is up past $4 a gallon near Buzz and it's never going back. |
| 7:13
| Caller Kostas (Happy belated Greek Easter!) built those steps at the courthouse about a year and a half ago. No one else goes up there though, they have it blocked off. |
| 7:14
| Starting today the cost of a stamp will be raised for 42¢. You can still buy those stamps that stay the same no matter what the price of postage is. It seems like all stamps should be like that. |
| 7:15
| The article Buzz has says the price of a Forever Stamp purchased before the increase is still valid. So are they no longer selling the Forever Stamp? It still seems like a good deal though, you can send something anywhere in the world. |
| 7:16
| Hillary Clinton's chief strategist Howard Wolfson told Fox News Sunday that the senator's campaign debt is now at $20 million. She can only pay herself back for the debt she's incurred if she remains in the race. That's probably why she's still in it. |
| 7:17
| Actor Dennis Farina was arrested in L.A. on Sunday for allegedly carrying a concealed weapon. Steve's pretty sure he copped to it. He put his loaded gun in his briefcase in Arizona, drove to L.A. and forgot it was in there. |
| 7:18
| It seems like if you have a loaded gun you'd always keep track of where it was. Buzz has the distinction of being the first person to ask Dennis Farina for his autograph. He was in a play at Steppenwolf and he might have also been a cop. Didn't Buzz ask him in a mocking tone though? Buzz actually thought Dennis would be a big star, he knew the Steppenwolf's track record. |
| 7:19
| Caller Tom is a 22-year vet of the Post Office and everyone is still alive. On any given day right? Steve's pretty sure he coined the phrase "Going postal." So he's got going postal, Popemobile and Cheesehead but he can't prove it. Every time Steve says this Mark posts evidence disputing his claim. |
| 7:20
| Tom has some Forever Stamp info. It has no value but today it's worth 42¢. If you purchased it yesterday it was worth 41¢. Today it costs 42¢ to buy a Forever Stamp. So why would people buy anything other than a Forever Stamp? |
| 7:21
| Tom used to work as a mail carrier but now he works in a facility. Steve sees his letter carrier everyday on his run. It occurred to him that he's doing the same thing as the mail carrier, who's getting paid and get sweet government shorts. |
| 7:28
| Live read: National City |
| 7:29
| Did Steve go over this slash/backslash stuff last week? If you use backslash it doesn't work. |
| 7:30
| A white police officer has been disciplined for pulling over and questioning a black driver. Turns out the driver was the highest ranking black police officer in the NYPD. |
| 7:31
| State Senator Eric Adams says that the only difference between Ziegler and Sean Bell is that Ziegler didn't reach for his glove box to get his registration out. |
| 7:32
| Financial advisor Ellie Kay has a plan for your economic stimulus check. Steve's not getting one, he doesn't qualify. Buzz doesn't either although he was expecting a check. |
| 7:33
| Kay is telling people to donate 10% of the check to charity, put another 10% into savings and spend the rest strategically. She used that plan to retire a $40,000 consumer debt. |
| 7:34
| First of all, who is this woman to suggest that? And what debt did she retire? If you're trying to get out of debt how does donating to charity help? |
| 7:35
| Steve saw over the weekend that people searching for Stacy Peterson all got EMS training. What's the point of that? If you're looking through a field for a dead body do you need to be EMS certified? |
| 7:36
| A memorabilia dealer who profited from OJ for years has written a book. In the book he alleges that a high-on-marijuana OJ Simpson admitted to killing his wife. |
| 7:37
| OJ told the dealer that he went to Nicole Simpson's house and she answered the door with a knife in her hand. He told the dealer that if she hadn't had that knife in her hand she'd still be alive. |
| 7:38
| Was she cooking? Is that maybe why she had a knife in her hand? And what about Ron Goldman? |
| 7:39
| While the numbers aren't out for this month yet, 2008 is so far shaping up to be a very violent year. |
| 7:40
| A financial watch dog group says that Governor Blagojevich's 2009 budget will put the state further into debt. |
| 7:41
| Steve saw that the state is trying to push a program where they give companies a 50% discount if they pay for their employees to ride public transportation. |
| 7:42
| A lot of people on this show take public transportation, can Steve get paid for that? How much does a monthly pass cost anyway? |
| 7:43
| Pete's not sure how much it costs, he gets it deducted every month from his paycheck. Jim might know though. Jim and Pete don't work for Steve though, they work for CBS. Stephanie works for Steve though and she takes public transportation. |
| 7:44
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. The monthly pass is $75 so that means Steve gets $37.50 back? CBS actually pays out on the monthly pass before they take out your taxes though. |
| 7:45
| Still though, that's not bad for Steve plus Stephanie would be really grateful that he's paying for her public transportation. Why are they even bothering with that program if the state is in debt? Plus they give senior citizens free rides. Is Steve the only one who sees that this is wrong? |
| 7:46
| Caller Rich has some Nicole Simpson info. She was at that restaurant, Luna Cafe, eating dinner. She forgot her glasses and waiter Ron Goldman returned them to her house. |
| 7:47
| So he happened upon Nicole getting murdered. He was also driving the Jaguar that OJ had given to Nicole. |
| 7:54
| Steve's not sure where he heard that transit thing, maybe it was on WBBM-AM? It might just be some sort of tax incentive for the company but they're already getting one. |
| 7:55
| Maybe someone could call WBBM-AM while Steve does this. |
| 7:56
| It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Manager Monday and on the phone is Jim Murphy, manager of the Taco Bell in Glendale Heights. |
| 7:57
| Soon Jim will be getting an autographed photo of Steve in the mail. Every manager gets one, even if they're not a fan. |
| 7:58
| Alright on the phone is Brendan Greeley, live from the R. Kelly trial. And he is on trial for pornography charges. |
| 7:59
| Everything would be different if he had just not taped it. A lot of people can say that though. Nothing Steve does needs to be videotaped. He doesn't even want to see a videotape of the show. |
| 8:00
| Brendan made his peace with Natalie Martinez who he was unable to identify earlier. He said she looked like the woman Truman falls in love with in The Truman Show. |
| 8:01
| Then Natalie called in and yelled at intern Vicki, who's screening calls today. She's actually working out quite well. And just a few weeks ago Steve was pressing Adam to hire an intern. |
| 8:02
| If Adam wants to spend the summer interviewing girls to be interns that's fine but he also needs to hire someone. |
| 8:03
| ABC has shown up but Brendan can't tell how's covering the story for them. So far it's just the news van. Hopefully it's not that Michelle Gallardo, she has a huge head. |
| 8:04
| She always gives these long, rambling stand-ups which are then clarified in the video they show. No one can do anything because she's wrapped herself in the flag of some Latin American country. |
| 8:05
| Steve's got Anita Padilla on TV right now. He has to say that the whole thing sounds much hotter when Anita says it. |
| 8:06
| Brendan is wearing the same suit he wore on Friday but he changed up the shirt and tie. So far he's only seen female reporters so he's the only one wearing a suit. |
| 8:07
| Brendan should try to find an underage girl and a bottle of water and station her near the walkway where R. Kelly comes in. |
| 8:08
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:09
| Alright time for a Mailbag, sponsored by the Acura Dealers Association. The first email is from Patrick Bertoletti from a couple of weeks ago. |
| 8:10
| We could probably pretend it was from Friday though. Patrick wants to go down to Amarillo to eat the 72 ounce steak at the Big Texan. He could give Steve some pointers for eating the steak. |
| 8:11
| Patrick says you can eat the steak with ketchup or BBQ sauce which Steve didn't know were options. He also has suggestions for building up stomach capacity. Steve has stomach capacity but it's nice that Patrick is thinking of him. |
| 8:12
| Steve really does want to go back to the Big Texan and eat that entire steak. Steve would need one of the boys to come with him and witness it though. |
| 8:13
| It would be expensive to bring the boys with though. They'd believe him if he finished it right? Pat does have mean streak, he might dispute it. |
| 8:14
| Pat's moving back here and he's thinking about taking Rt. 66 and stopping at the Big Texan to finish that steak. |
| 8:15
| Caller Nicole saw Steve at brunch yesterday but she didn't say hi because he was with his family. She should have said something, his family doesn't talk to him anyway. |
| 8:16
| Did Nicole see the girl wearing the see-thru dress? It was awesome! That's what Mother's Day is all about! |
| 8:17
| Nicole wanted to ask Steve about the donuts he was eating because she didn't have a chance to get one. They had a machine that was frying up fresh donuts for you, then you could dip them in cinnamon sugar. |
| 8:18
| Steve had 6 of them but they were smaller. Theoretically you could have one of those machines in your house. Imagine fresh donuts whenever you want them. |
| 8:19
| Nicole saw Steve at the donut machine but didn't want to be the woman who stood between him and the donuts. Steve never minds when fans come up to him, especially if it's a woman. |
| 8:20
| Steve's Mother's Day was fine although there was a slight dust-up in the elevator. After brunch they had to take a family photo, even though they have a lot of family photos. |
| 8:21
| Everyone was in the elevator except Mike who was taking a photo of everyone in the elevator. Steve was telling him to stop and get in the elevator and Mike snapped a photo of him making a mean face. |
| 8:22
| Then Pat took the camera and showed it to everyone in the elevator saying they'd captured the essence of Boomer. He claims he's doing it in a cute way but he's really not. When he tried to take another photo of Steve he told him that if he did he's break the f'ing camera. This was in front of everyone including Pat's in-laws. |
| 8:23
| Steve feels that he and Nicole have unfinished business. She could have said hello to him, no one talked to Steve at his table for the entire brunch. |
| 8:24
| Those donuts were fantastic. Does Buzz want to split the cost of one of those donut fryers. We could keep it in the studio and sell them to the employees. Buzz thinks that's the worst idea ever. On Sunday Buzz made beignets which are similar to donuts. He always controls the powdered sugar distribution. |
| 8:25
| Steve's sorry that Nicole didn't get a donut. She did get to see the girl in the see-thru dress who might have been 16. She was very close to the R. Kelly Mendoza line. How do you decide to wear the see-thru dress on Mother's Day? |
| 8:26
| The girl's dad might have caught Steve looking but what is he supposed to do?! He might still be brought up on charges. |
| 8:27
| Steve's going to research that donut fryer, it can't be that much. We'll make Adam go down and sell them at that weekly Farmer's Market, we'll make back the money it cost for the machine in no time. |
| 8:34
| Alright we've got Brendan reporting from the R. Kelly trial. Steve's just going to leave him on and if R. Kelly shows up he can interrupt. |
| 8:35
| Steve has the donut maker that he and Buzz are looking for. He was going to call Adam but both lines are tied up with Brendan and Pat Boyle. |
| 8:36
| Steve's looking at the Orby SSD-12. You can make up to $250 an hour making mini, medium and large donuts. Steve's going to need Adam to have us set up at that farmer's market. |
| 8:37
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:38
| Steve's going to be out at Woodfield Nissan on Friday from noon to 2. He probably won't have the donut machine though. That whole thing seems like a dream. |
| 8:39
| The Cubs swept the Diamondbacks, finally. It wasn't in the playoffs so it doesn't count as much although Arizona came in with the best record in baseball. |
| 8:40
| The Sox took 2 of 3 from the Mariners and if you play that way every series things turn out pretty good. Gavin Floyd did not look that great yesterday, as AJ said he was hanging a lot of curveballs. |
| 8:41
| Steve is officially sick of Nick Swisher. He needs to cut out all that other stuff and just start hitting and catching the ball. And he does that stupid stuff at the plate too. The guy always acts like an idiot, he needs to back it down a bit. |
| 8:42
| Going back to the Cubs game, Steve did not like the catcher wearing the pink chest protector. He gets that it's for Breast Cancer, which he's against. It seems like everyone is against it. The pink bat are fine but no everything is pink. |
| 8:43
| And then Tony Romo sang the 7th Inning Stretch and got booed. Steve's probably messing Pat up because he has audio. The first one is Lou Piniella. He didn't go on a rant because the Cubs had 3 come-from-behind victories did he? |
| 8:44
| What's the point of even having those press conferences? They're only interesting when the team is losing. Winning is boring as it turns out. |
| 8:45
| Tony Romo threw out the first pitch and he got booed. Steve remembers him throwing out the first pitch at The Cell and he didn't get booed. Although they might have been saying he was a Sox fan. |
| 8:46
| Does Pete remember? Romo is from Wisconsin so he's a Packer's fan. It seems like he'd also be a Brewers fan. Len asked him during the game yesterday and he said he was a Cubs fan. |
| 8:47
| Brendan has to interrupt because a black Navigator is pulling up with way too tinted windows. R. Kelly is getting out of the back of the car and he has 4 people with him today. |
| 8:48
| Brendan feels really good about his brush with R. Kelly. It was better than Friday because it was much more personal. It was just Brendan and one other cameraman. R. Kelly's probably writing a song about him right now. |
| 8:55
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 8:56
| Steve is still not opposed to getting one of those donut fryers. Buzz actually pulled something out of the printer that wasn't his. He does that all the time though. If something comes out of the printer it's Buzz's. |
| 8:57
| Some of these prices seem a little high, like the one for $5,500. Although there's another one that's around $2,700. They could have David Hochberg loan them the money for it. |
| 8:58
| Steve's going to bring Adam in on this, he's The Judge. Steve accidentally called Jim though. Why does he even pick up? He just wants to rub his face in it doesn't he? |
| 8:59
| If Jim's phone rings he should yell for Adam to come in and pick it up. The both of them, rubbing his face in it! |
| 9:00
| Alright Adam is on the phone. He's the one who printed up the donut machine info. Buzz's only objection is having access to all those donuts. |
| 9:01
| We'll make donuts one a month and then send Adam down to the plaza every week for the farmer's market. They can make their money back on the initial investment after the first day! |
| 9:02
| If Steve set the machine up in the kitchen and made them everyday then eventually he and Buzz would get sick of them. Then they could sell them to the people who work for Fresh FM. |
| 9:03
| Eventually Steve and Buzz could open up a storefront downstairs and they'd become the donut kings of the Loop. Then their empire would expand and eventually Dunkin' Donuts would buy them out. |
| 9:04
| Steve would sell the company for $50 million and he'd probably weight 900 pounds. He'd be the new Eddie Schwartz. |
| 9:05
| Alright back to the sports. So Tony Romo was booed at Wrigley yesterday although Steve doesn't know why. Is it because he's on the Cowboys? The Bears had a chance to draft him too, he was right under their noses. |
| 9:06
| Were they booing Jessica Simpson via Tony Romo? Why would you boo Jessica Simpson though? Steve thought Cubs fans were smarter than that. |
| 9:07
| It has to be jealousy. If a Tony Romo blows into the Cubby Bear he takes all the girls out of there. No tight t-shirt or vintage hat would help Pete and Jim out when Tony Romo comes in. |
| 9:08
| Pat saw the Jack FM Hummer at Wrigley on Friday, he was wondering if Pete was there. That's just marketing, although Steve doesn't exactly get how it works. |
| 9:09
| For some reason intern Vicki also has to do stuff for Jack FM, Steve will have to talk to Adam about that after the show. Adam's running some sort of fake intern school and he thinks he still works for CBS. He won't give up the dream. |
| 9:10
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. Adam wants Vicki to have a well-rounded experience during her time here. If Adam's not careful he's going to be the next person on trial. |
| 9:11
| Handing out keychains at the Cubs game, that's not good experience. She should only focus on the show, that's it. If Jack sees we have a good intern they'll try to steal her |
| 9:12
| Vicki's going to need counseling after Adam well-rounded her in the Jack FM Hummer. What ungodly task is slated for Vicki next? He'll have to check the Jack FM schedule. |
| 9:13
| What good does it do us to hand out Jack FM keychains at the Cubs game? Do any of them say Steve Dahl Show? Steve has actually learned how to tell when Adam is lying and he's lying now. |
| 9:14
| They were actually handing out Jack FM cups which seems even more pointless. Are people going to bring those in with them to the game? This idea has Jill written all over it. |
| 9:15
| Steve wanted to drive up there on Friday and get her out of there when he found out. What's the point of handing out something that's going to be thrown out? Why not just give them a piece of paper that says "A cup has been thrown out in your name by Jack FM"? |
| 9:16
| Steve went to hit the break but it was still the Tony Romo audio cued up. That really kills the momentum. It's totally killed Steve's spirit, he's not sure if he can go on and finish the show. |
| 9:17
| Tony Romo shouldn't have been booed though. He should be given a standing ovation for nailing Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwear. |
| 9:18
| All those guys who booed him probably had their girlfriend taken away by Tony Romo after the game though. He probably went through the hot women at Wrigley like a knife through butter. |
| 9:26
| Steve has a feeling that Adam is handling our intern search the way Michael Scott did on The Office. |
| 9:27
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 9:28
| Alright back to Peanut Butter. Pat needs to get to The Little Guys for an upgrade. He needs a bigger TV, 42" isn't cutting it. |
| 9:29
| So Tony Romo is at Wrigley Field-probably with his parents who Steve met the last time the Cowboys were in town-and he gets booed. |
| 9:30
| He's probably back in the area because it's Mother's Day and he's the all-American guy. He got booed throwing out the first pitch and then had to wait 7 innings for the 7th Inning Stretch when he got booed again. |
| 9:31
| Pat feels the rendition deserved a boo but Steve thinks he might have pooched it on purpose. The Bears had every chance to draft him, all they would have had to do is go see one game at Eastern. |
| 9:32
| It seemed like by the time he sang the 7th Inning Stretch Tony Romo was sick of all of it. He's getting booed on Mother's Day?! Buzz feels that part of it is the arrogance of Cubs fans. |
| 9:33
| Some reporter was asking Cubs fans what they thought about the possibility that the Cubs threw the World Series in 1918 and that the Black Sox got the idea from them. No one cared. How could you not care?! |
| 9:34
| Yesterday Buzz was leaving the house with Piper and she was wearing a pink hat that said Chicago. Right before she got out of the house she stopped and replaced her pink hat with a Cubs hat. |
| 9:35
| It's really tough for Buzz to keep Piper away from the Cubs because he's living on the North Side. She's never been to a baseball game so all Buzz has to do is take her to a Sox game and she's a Sox fan. |
| 9:36
| Tony Romo's rendition was not very good but it sounds like he was doing it on purpose. No one sings that badly. He must have been doing it on purpose. |
| 9:37
| Although Steve asked Stephanie in our office about Tony and she said she hates him and he's a loser. So maybe it's more of a Bears thing than Steve realizes. |
| 9:38
| Steve's a Bears fan and he doesn't hate Tony Romo. It seems like most Bears fans would just want him on their team. Steve tried to call up to the office but he got someone else instead, Paul McGovern. |
| 9:39
| Buzz knows Paul, he's a great guy. Buzz loves anyone who does something for him once. Steve does stuff for Buzz everyday but he'd probably walk over him to get to the door. |
| 9:40
| Paul approved Buzz's check for that laptop he had that was damaged in the flood. That's when he was running the insurance fraud right? |
| 9:41
| Pat has one more piece of audio, a classic Mother's Day rant from Tommy Lasorda. It was 30 years ago yesterday that Dave Kingman hit 3 home runs against the Dodgers. |
| 9:42
| Someone asked Tommy what he thought about Kingman's performance that day and he went off on them. Tommy had some great rants, he started it all really. |
| 9:50
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:51
| Steve's going to be at Woodfield Nissan on Friday. It says he'll be signing autographs and giving out tickets. He won't actually give tickets away but they will be given away. |
| 9:52
| That sounds like a Jill idea. Steve's not a big enough draw so they have to give out tickets? One guy emailed Steve asking what tickets he was giving away because he might stop by. |
| 9:53
| Don't stop by. If you're going to be like that either keep it to yourself or find out another way to get the information. |
| 9:54
| This email is from a husband and wife couple which Steve always finds weird. He doesn't know if it's the husband or the wife asking what the tickets are for. |
| 9:55
| They also want to know what day it's on. What is Steve doing here?! Why don't these people pay attention here? We're broadcasting to 100,000 people, not one. |
| 9:56
| And then they want to know what tickets Steve is giving away. Depending on what they are they might stop by. |
| 9:57
| If you come in with that attitude Steve would make sure you didn't get tickets, even before you sent out an email like that. Already the tickets are causing problems. |
| 9:58
| Caller Joe got tickets from Steve and Buzz and he was happy with the experience. Steve's going to try to call Jill's office. Jill does not recognize Steve's voice, she's on delay. |
| 9:59
| Jill's not sure what tickets she has to giveaway yet. She's got Rush, Steve doesn't want to give away those tickets. He also has New Kids, did Steve become a gay 15-year-old overnight? |
| 10:00
| How about Lisa Lampanelli? What the hell is that? It sounds like a disease you'd have. She also has Boston and Styx. Boston is dead! Steve doesn't want any of these tickets, don't bring anything. |
| 10:01
| Jill doesn't care about any thing, that's the beauty of her. It rolls off of her like water on a duck. She's probably going to get a bagel and have a cigarette right now. |
