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| 5:30
| The city crawls to life Buzz. Welcome to the zoo fellow zookeeper! Let's try to keep the orangutan's in their cage OK? |
| 5:31
| Didn't an orangutan get loose this weekend at the Lincoln Park Zoo? It could be in Buzz's house right now making beignets for Buzz's family. They wouldn't even notice the difference. An orangutan is probably better company, more even tempered, less stoic. |
| 5:32
| The Prudential Building is on Lake Street one block east of Michigan. During the afternoon shows there as a time when you could look straight down Lake Street and see the sun setting directly west. It happened twice a year and Steve can't remember what those days were. |
| 5:33
| Today the sun is rising directly due east. When Steve walked into the studio he thought it was on fire because of all the sunlight pouring in. Then Steve thought maybe it was sweet mood lighting. We could get a smoke machine for when guests come in. |
| 5:34
| Steve can't exactly tell where the sun is and the only way to tell is to knock a window out. They sort of frown on that at the Prudential Building. Plus you'd probably get sucked out like if you were on an airplane. |
| 5:35
| For some reason Steve just saw a slideshow of people jumping out of the World Trade Center on 911. It was part of an email forward that Janet's dad sent that implored people to never forget. Steve hasn't forgot 911, has Buzz? Steve doesn't need to see that on a Saturday afternoon. |
| 5:36
| Janet couldn't stop looking at it because they were such powerful images. Of course they are, 10,000 people died. People will never forget that but maybe on the weekend you could take a break from it, see a movie, have a burger, watch a ball game. Steve did all that. |
| 5:37
| Normally Janet's just sitting in that back room watching Desperate Housewives and ordering beads but then she gets this email forward. Buzz gets a lot of email forwards like this. |
| 5:38
| Steve's having some trouble with his wireless mouse. The good news is that it's working but it's controlling Brendan's computer. It's really freaking him out, he probably thinks there's a genie in his computer. He's out there making three wishes. |
| 5:39
| WBBM-AM's studios are upstairs and they were built facing east and south so they could see the sunset every morning. It was cool to see the sun today though, it made Steve want to get his karate gi and go down to the lakefront for some tai chi. Steve doesn't have a karate gi, nor does he know how to do tai chi. He's seen it in movies though so he could probably fake it. |
| 5:40
| It seems like it's going to be a nice day today, that's the official forecast for the show. The sun came up, that's always a good sign. On that one day when the sun doesn't come up a lot of people are going to worry. They'll probably want to tune to a news station to see what's going on but they should stay here. |
| 5:41
| It's supposed to be in the 60s today but there's rain in the forecast for tomorrow when Steve is supposed to go to the Sox game. It seems like every time he goes to a game there's rain in the forecast. |
| 5:42
| Last night on WGN during the weather Jim Ramsay, who looks like Barney Rubble, mentioned how it's supposed to be 108º in Death Valley. Steve has been out there for those temperatures, the meat falls off your own bones if you're in a hot car. It's a dry heat but it's still 108º. |
| 5:43
| So once again the top story today, the sun did come up. |
| 5:49
| Steve's going to go right into the character voices this morning because that's what professionals do. Bill Kurtis is here and Steve's mouse is finally controlling his own computer and not Brendan's. |
| 5:50
| It's too bad for Brendan though because he would have witnessed some of the best computering he's ever seen. Normally Brendan is on TMZ or ESPN.com pretending he's learning things. Brendan already knows everything you need to know about Ashlee Simpson though. |
| 5:51
| Really you can never know too much about the Simpson family, the real one, not the cartoon one. Although the cartoon family seems smarter than the real one. |
| 5:52
| Bill wouldn't mind nailing those two sisters in a three-way, he can do that because he's not married. Ashlee just got married and she's also in a family way with that fella who wears eyeliner. Bill didn't think it was possible for men who wear eye make-up to get a woman pregnant. |
| 5:53
| Bill has a new cookbook out, Buzz has an autographed copy. Bill saw Buzz and his fat friend at a reception for the book at Charlie Trotter's house a couple of weeks ago. They were bused from the restaurant to Charlie's house. |
| 5:54
| Buzz initially thought they were going to one of Bill's many houses but then he started wondering why there were photos of food all over the walls. Bill's house is much nicer and it has photos of him on the wall. |
| 5:55
| Bill saw Buzz and Jimmy Bannos on the second floor deck. Jimmy looks much different without a chef's hat on. He has crazy hair which you wouldn't want in your crabcake. |
| 5:56
| Bill is going to read the entire cookbook cover to cover, it's full of recipes and stories. Bill is featured on the back of the book jacket in his leather jacket and gingham shirt. You can write anything you want in your own book so Bill lays it on thick. |
| 5:57
| Bill has been earning the respect of viewers and colleagues and competitors in TV journalism for over 30 years on CBS, A & E and WBBM Chicago. Really though CBS was for a very brief period and it didn't go well. It was a dark time in his life. |
| 5:58
| Currently Bill's efforts are focused on Kurtis Productions Limited. LImited does not reflect Bill's talents, just the corporate set-up and liability, which is limited. |
| 5:59
| Bill has become one of the country's foremost producers of documentaries. He also founded the Tallgrass Beef company a scant 3 years ago. He's always enjoyed and owned cows but now he's selling them, which is painful. It's like killing and butchering the family dog. It must be done though and Bill doesn't do the killing. The cows only have one bad day on the ranch and he's not there for it. |
| 6:00
| It might be good to hear the little movie that describes Bill's Tallgrass Beef company. The comedian Jeff Garlin was in a couple of weeks ago and he found it very funny which Bill doesn't appreciate. |
| 6:01
| Bill's wearing a leather vest in the video, probably made from one of his own cows. They use everything on the cow, they even render the hooves to make soap and Jell-O. |
| 6:02
| There are no cows in the field where Bill is. He fought hard to have some digitally added afterwards but it didn't happen. |
| 6:03
| Bill doesn't want Buzz to miss the part where he says the cows are allowed to go where they eat. Some how he passes it off as being beneficial. |
| 6:04
| What does Buzz want to know about today? How about some Native American cooking? |
| 6:05
| Much of the ingredients for their food was gathered by everyone including young Native American men. It gave them the experience they would need for the rest of their life. |
| 6:06
| Much of their cooking was done in dutch ovens. That's not when an Indian gets in his teepee, under a blanket and cuts one. |
| 6:07
| Some of the following recipes are presented as history while the others can be adapted to modern kitchens. The authors of the book do not recommend trapping raccoon though. |
| 6:08
| The Indian baked raccoon. First remove the skin and inner parts of the raccoon. That probably includes the fur right? Unless you can find prepared raccoon you'll have to do this yourself. |
| 6:09
| Singe over fire and wash, then parboil for an hour. Place in roaster in about 3 inches of water and add a carrot, an apple and an onion. Bake until tender. Sounds delicious. |
| 6:10
| Through good sleuthing work and the help of many individuals this book is the realization of a dream. Many state and local organizations helped with assistance and materials. |
| 6:11
| The Roy Rogers and Dale Evans museum is also mentioned and some of their recipes are in there, like how to stuff a horse. |
| 6:12
| Would Buzz like one more Native American recipe? How about a side dish to go along with his raccoon? |
| 6:13
| Bill's going to get it started with egg soup. Beat eggs, chicken or bird. Don't beat a chicken or bird though, just get he eggs from them. Beat the eggs slightly and then pour into boiling water. |
| 6:14
| That's it? It's very simple, like the Chinese egg drop soup. But it's delicious with raccoon. |
| 6:22
| Is Pete standing by in the other room to take a request for a Bill Kurtis tape? Pete is ready and he knows what it is. Steve was hoping to make it seem more spontaneous. |
| 6:23
| Caller Chris was listening to Bill in the car and it was fantastic. If someone doesn't stop Steve he'll talk like Bill all day. No wonder Bill talks like that all day. |
| 6:24
| One of the best tapes Chris has ever heard is Bill Kurtis talking to Chet Coppock about Michael Jordan defying gravity. |
| 6:25
| Chet was wearing his raccoon fur coat while this was going on. Raccoon is a very popular dish at the Coppock household. An 8 foot albino looks great in a raccoon coat. |
| 6:26
| Pete plays the tape. Bill is always trying to do something to help like attacking scientific illiteracy. He gave up on that though. |
| 6:27
| Live read: Triton College |
| 6:28
| Steve is nailing this live read and adding a sweet improv. Although he did stop himself to point out that he was nailing it. He had to do it because normally he starts thinking about how good he's doing on this live read which causes him to mess up. |
| 6:29
| Alright time for the web poll. Friday's question was "Do you like the self check-out supermarkets?" 72% of the people said yes because most people who work check-out lines are rude. They're never hot either. |
| 6:30
| Would it kill Jewel or Dominick's to hire a few hot girls? Occasionally you get one at Home Depot. Buzz remembers in his single days waiting longer to go to the checkout line of an attractive girl. |
| 6:31
| There is a cute check-out girl at Steve's grocery store and she's always very busy. A good shopping experience could go bad with a bad check-out, or a good one can just enhance it. |
| 6:32
| Steve doesn't put the divider down on the check-out belt because then people in front of him freak out and think they'll end up paying for his groceries. |
| 6:33
| Today's web poll question is "Will you be joining the hair metal revival group on Facebook?" The options are yes, nor or for Steve and Buzz, already a member. Buzz thought the third option would be "What the hell is Facebook?" |
| 6:34
| Buzz sort of knows what Facebook is, or at least he always hears about it. People are always saying "Put this on your Facebook page" He doesn't really know what that means but he always hears about Facebook or MySpace. |
| 6:35
| The show has a MySpace page but Steve doesn't know what it is and he doesn't go there. He doesn't understand it because there are photos of hot girls who want to be his friend. That just confuses him, what do they mean by friend? Steve doesn't need to end up on To Catch a Predator. |
| 6:36
| Buzz doesn't like that everyone on MySpace is your "friend" Someone says "Eric Clapton is my friend." What?! |
| 6:37
| Hair metal is back, on Facebook at least. A certain shadow crosses the face of hair metal enthusiasts when they talk about 1991. That's when Nirvana's Nevermind came out. This is from the Columbia News Service. |
| 6:38
| As swiftly as the Berlin Wall fell the hair metal genre fell from the top of the charts to the bargain bins. Guys who liked their hair big and their ballads bigger had to retire their Poison and Skid Row t-shirts or face mockery from flannel clad grunge fans. We unabashedly play hair metal on Jack FM. |
| 6:39
| Buzz remembers jamming on stage with the guitar player from Poison. He couldn't even do the basic 1, 2, 3 chord progression. When you're in hair metal band all you need to know is your own stuff. |
| 6:40
| This hair metal stuff coincides with Steve putting product in his own hair. He really enjoys doing that. First he puts something on that makes it shiny, then some mousse and then he makes it look whimsical with his hands. And it stays that way all day. |
| 6:41
| Nick Tyler, a 35-year-old computer programmer from Sydney, loved the hair metal sound for years. This must be from Australia right? Or maybe not. Why does Steve get hung up on where it's from? Buzz would have said it was from Columbia. |
| 6:42
| For many, a love of hair metal was not destroyed, just tucked away with 1989 tour memorabilia. The internet is allowing these fans to express their love of hair metal. He can throw up virtual devil horns, talk about bands and keep track of tour dates for all of the reunion tours. |
| 6:43
| Wasn't that Rhode Island night club fire a hair metal reunion tour? Many bands from that era have used the internet to revive interest in their band and tours. Bon Jovi was one of the top grossing tours of last year. |
| 6:44
| Steve doesn't consider Bon Jovi to be hair metal. Maybe they are but they're fairly talented. Steve usually considers talent and hair bands to be mutually exclusive. |
| 6:45
| Caller Joe wanted to let Steve know that Bon Jovi was on 60 Minutes last night. They were just talking about how sweet the whole Bon Jovi Corporation is. |
| 6:46
| Steve didn't watch 60 Minutes last night, he was actually watching Playing for Peanuts on Comcast. It's a documentary/reality show about minor league baseball. They had a skydiver for opening day who crashed. |
| 6:47
| His chute opened so he was OK but he couldn't control it so he didn't land where he wanted to land. Steve's going to find himself some Bon Jovi to play after the break. |
| 6:55
| One funny thing about Bon Jovi is that he's only 5 feet tall. He looks good in pictures and in movies. Everyone is little in the movies as it turns out. Like really little, they're all standing on soap boxes. |
| 6:56
| Song: Livin' on a Prayer, Bon Jovi |
| 7:00
| Todd's gonna be happy that we played a song. Buzz needs to remember to turn his mic on, he's not doing it today. Is his button not working? Buzz is going to accuse Steve of turning his mic off. |
| 7:01
| Steve turned it off when the song ended, just because Buzz always tries to get the last word in. He also turned it off during that Bill Kurtis tape just because it's confusing to hear him laugh during it. Was he there at the time? |
| 7:02
| Steve would be glad to turn Buzz's mic on for him, he doesn't want to miss anything he's saying. |
| 7:03
| Doesn't Brendan have a Bon Jovi story, wasn't he blown off by them or something? Matt and Brendan were supposed to interview Jon because he owns the Philadelphia Soul Arena League team. |
| 7:04
| They were doing a remote broadcast for the opening game of the season but then Jon fell ill and the private jet turned around. It's his own jet, he can throw up on it if he wants. |
| 7:05
| Brendan's over it but Matt is not, he takes everything very personally. He probably shot his TV if he was watching 60 Minutes. It's against the law to own that gun too. But we need tougher laws to end the violence. Tougher than the one that says you can't own guns? |
| 7:06
| Caller Chris wanted to let Steve know that Tico Torres was the drummer from Bon Jovi, he was also on 60 Minutes. |
| 7:07
| Caller Brendan (not our own Brendan) wanted to help with some terminology. Short actors stand on apple boxes to make them look taller. His wife used to teach film at Florida State before he got her to Chicago. |
| 7:08
| They used to actually be produce boxes but they still use the apple box term. It's a two-way street with the terminology because Brendan has his wife using the term "quality kill" |
| 7:09
| Brendan's wife probably hates him in the winter when the weather turns. She does become a different person. Steve recommends winter tanning, you need that vitamin D. |
| 7:10
| Not only does it make you feel better but you can also meet 22-year-old broads who work at tanning parlors. Just ask Drew. They have lotions for you and they're tanned all over. |
| 7:11
| News with Buzz |
| 7:12
| Chicago is number 1 in the nation in gas prices. #1, alright! The highest price in Chicago is $4.07 a gallon. Steve's gas station might be the highest, it was on the news last week, Dick Johnson was ambushing people and asking them if they know how much gas costs. |
| 7:13
| Steve tries to look at the price of a gallon but at some point it's not really affecting him. It's not like he's a semi-truck driver. |
| 7:14
| Does Buzz want to hear the Dick Johnson tape again? What kind of news story is this? The girl doesn't know the price of a gallon, so what?! |
| 7:15
| Joe Biden says that comments Bush made in Israel last week are outrageous. He says any policy is better than what we have now. |
| 7:16
| John McCain did his own campaigning on SNL over the weekend. This audio Buzz has is a bad mp3. Don't we tape those? Steve's not even going to blame Pete, he's going to blame Jim. |
| 7:17
| Steve calls down to the newsroom for some quality control. Is it just laziness? Is Jim worn out from a weekend of watch the Cubs beat the Pirates? Steve and Buzz could beat the Pirates! Jim says they were hot before coming to Wrigley. OK, sure. |
| 7:18
| No more mp3s if we don't need to use them! Steve's not blaming Buzz either, he probably didn't know. Right now he's probably Googling "mp3". |
| 7:23
| Live read: National City |
| 7:24
| Hold on Buzz, we've got another ass-kicking coming. Hold your ears. Steve calls down to Adam's office. Doesn't he go over these things before Steve reads them? Because it says backslash for the website which is wrong. |
| 7:25
| Adam doesn't usually correct them but he can start. He did change it to forward slash last week but it's back to being wrong. Steve will deal with Adam later. |
| 7:26
| A team player would have just said "yes, you're right" but Adam doesn't do that. Sometimes you have to take a bullet but Adam doesn't. He will one day though. |
| 7:27
| Steve calls back to Adam's office. It sounds like he's either going to cry, quit, both or stab Steve. |
| 7:28
| Tyrone's checking in with some traffic, he's got three things to tell us about. On the eastbound Jane Adams at Barrington Road traffic is backed up from an accident blocking the left lane. |
| 7:29
| On eastbound I-80 near Morris a truck spilled it's load of Oreo Cookies. You gotta get out of your car and take a case of cookies. Tyrone's in Wisconsin getting some milk for the cookies. |
| 7:30
| Tyrone's got one of those choptaters for forest fires which he never gets to use here, so he's gonna pick up some milk. |
| 7:31
| Imagine a white Wisconsin farmer seeing a black man in a Cadillac choptater, scooping up some milk. |
| 7:32
| The guy is never going to tell anyone about it because he probably thinks it's an alien that uses milk to fuel his space ship. |
| 7:33
| Alright back to Buzz in the newsroom |
| 7:34
| An American soldier has been sent back to the U.S. vandalized a copy of the Koran. It was found at a shooting range riddled with bullet holes. |
| 7:35
| Airlines will begin to lighten the strain of bumped passengers. They will soon be required to pay double what they normally do to a bumped passenger. |
| 7:36
| Ted Kennedy is still in the hospital after suffering one or possibly two seizures. He's awaiting test results. |
| 7:37
| When he got to Boston he ordered some clam chowder and watched the Red Sox. Who cares? It doesn't seem like clam chowder is a good thing to have after a seizure. Hopefully he got the Manhattan-style. |
| 7:38
| It seems weird that he has to do all that. He can't just go to the hospital? He has to order clam chowder and watch the Red Sox and then tell everyone about it? |
| 7:39
| Women who use mobile phones while pregnant are more likely to give birth to children with behavioral problems. Using a cellphone two or three times a day is enough to do it. Or maybe the mothers just don't pay attention to their kids becuase they're on the phone all the time. |
| 7:40
| A Chicago police office accused of attacking two people at a Niles restaurant over the weekend says he was just trying to protect the woman. Steve saw the mug shot, he looked a little Hamerabbied, or maybe just tired. Police say he attacked a couple and then fled. He was later found passed out. |
| 7:41
| A Chicago man in police custody fell out of a paddy wagon and died after hitting his head. Aren't they supposed to handcuff you do the thing inside? That's how Steve prefers it. |
| 7:42
| From McKinney, Texas school officials are appalled by altered photos in their yearbook. Heads were on the wrong bodies, some necks were stretched and one woman's head is on what appears to be a naked body with the chest blanked out. |
| 7:43
| The yearbook company says the error was the result of an employee's bad decisions. The school however did request that the company make everyone's eyes level in all photos. |
| 7:50
| Steve's going to call down to Adam's office, he yelled at him earlier and feels bad. Can Steve come down and give Adam a hug, enveloping him in his bosom? Adam can give him a brumski. |
| 7:51
| Adam isn't familiar with a brumski. Buzz knows it as a motor boat. One man's brumski. is another man's motor boat. Steve is very well-endowed up there. |
| 7:52
| Steve was just conferring with Mary, who's off-site today, and they agreed that Adam should go over all the live copy. Mary was called for jury duty so Steve gave her the list of the top things to say to get out of the R. Kelly jury. |
| 7:53
| Adam says he can look over the live copy. Buzz doesn't think he'll ever take the blame for anything, that's not what he does. You have to do that around here though, even if you didn't mess up. Does Buzz think that Pete or Jim or anyone else mess up as much as Steve says they do? |
| 7:54
| What about Friday's personal appearance, are there any photos from Woodfield Nissan? Adam's looking over them now. He's wearing pants right? |
| 7:55
| Friday went really well., there were enough people there for Steve to talk to for the entire 2 hours. He got there at noon and the next thing he knew it was 2:15. Yes he stayed the extra 15 minutes, unlike Mark Prior. |
| 7:56
| Then a Good Humor truck showed up and Steve got one of those strawberry shortcake bars. She seemed taken aback by Steve's request, maybe because it sounds fruity. It does sound fruity to Buzz but Steve is secure enough in his convictions. |
| 7:57
| Adam does have a photo of Steve's evil twin. He's sick of that guy, he looks nothing like him. Steve's working out, he's eating right, this guy is before and Steve is after. |
| 7:58
| Adam also has the photo of Steve with the girl wearing the shirt that says "Steve Wants Me." That's the kind of stuff he's looking for, no dudes. Wait until the porno section goes up on Dahl.com |
| 7:59
| So Steve and Adam are cool now right? When Steve calls Adam will take the blame for something right? After a pause Adam said yes. Buzz thinks the pause says it all, he won't take the blame. |
| 8:00
| It was good to do that because Adam sounded like he was going to wet himself, or worse. That's not fair to Jim kid who's in the office next to Adam. |
| 8:01
| Steve would like to just say, for the record, that even though Mary had to leave at 6 am today she got in at 2:30 to get everything ready for the show. Steve has a whole road map here, he doesn't even need Buzz. He's just kidding but Buzz was already standing up to leave. |
| 8:02
| Buzz wonders what happens at 2:30. He can't just give Mary that? She's normally in at 3:30 so she probably had to wake up at midnight to get down here, then has to drive all the way back home to go to jury duty. |
| 8:03
| She was here from 2:30 to 6 am plus she's still monitoring the show. She actually called in wondering why he hadn't done the Mailbag yet. Buzz is windy today, we're a little behind! |
| 8:04
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. On the phone is Jamie Morris, manager of the Taco Bell in Valparaiso. It's actually one of two, they're a two Taco Bell town. |
| 8:05
| Jamie will be getting an autographed photo of Steve, all the managers do. Stephanie will probably come in during the next break with a photo for Steve to autograph. |
| 8:06
| It'll probably go right up on the wall at the restaurant because he always writes something Taco Bell-appropriate. It'll go right next to the Jim Belushi autographed photo. |
| 8:07
| Could Steve go somewhere in this town and not see an autographed photo of Jim Belushi? He must carry them with him everywhere and leave them as tips. |
| 8:08
| Buzz thought that those photos were a diabolical plan to drive him crazy but then he learned that everyone sees Belushi photos everywhere they go. |
| 8:09
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:10
| Alright it's time to open the Mailbag, brought to you by 7-Up. The first emailer has been contemplating getting a ball chair for his office and is looking for some advice. |
| 8:11
| Steve does have a ball chair in the studio but he keeps forgetting to use it. If your back is chair and you sit on it it feels better. Buzz wouldn't mind trying it out if Steve's not going to use it. Steve has a Gaiam ball chair but it seems like they're all pretty much the same. |
| 8:12
| Buzz can't do this chair which is surprising, he's usually so adaptable. It's weird at first but then it starts to feel good, like sex with another man. |
| 8:13
| The next emailer is writing in about Steve's orange scone story. To refresh people's memories, Steve was at the gym last Thursday doing the treadmill, or dreadmill as he just thought of calling it. |
| 8:14
| Steve burned off 700 calories. In a perfect world he'd just go to his car, go to his massage and then have a light dinner. He doesn't live in a perfect world and he walked by Au Bon Pain. In all the time he's worked in this building he's never been in that Au Bon Pain. He's never been in any Au Bon Pain anywhere. |
| 8:15
| Doing afternoons Steve would never stop for a scone but in the mornings, after the show is over and he's got a drive to Lisle ahead of him he can stop and get a scone for himself and one for his massage therapist. |
| 8:16
| Steve saw Todd when he got to the top of the escalators after blocking a few people who are in a hurry. Steve enjoys doing that because usually it's just people speeding up with a Quizno's bag. |
| 8:17
| Steve also likes to mess with people in revolving doors. Last week there were some hip-hop kids who looked out of place in the building. One of them cut Steve off at the first set of revolving doors and Steve let him go but then the second time Steve grabbed the revolving door with two handles and the kid slammed into it. Turns out those kids didn't belong and they were stealing stuff from the lobby. |
| 8:18
| So Todd is at the top of the escalator with a little Starbuck's cup. He just wanted a pick-me-up but he doesn't have to apologize to Steve. Steve told him he'd just been to Au Bon Pain where you can walk in and take stuff from the bins. Todd thought Steve had actually stolen the scones. |
| 8:19
| The second emailer heard Steve talking about orange scones and had tight pants because she was addicted to them. Steve had tight pants on Friday and Stephanie went out to get him some cargo shorts. Steve's still wearing them so he can haul some cargo down to the newsroom if Buzz has any to haul. |
| 8:20
| Scones seem like they're good for you but they're not, they're worse than a lot of other breakfast foods. The emailer gained 14 pounds in 3 years on those scones but she has since dropped that weight. 14 pounds in 3 years isn't bad. Steve can do that in a weekend. |
| 8:21
| The last emailer is looking for the name and artist of the song Steve used during the Super Bowl coverage. That was Wayne Cochrane with Going Back to Miami. The Blues Brothers also do a version. |
| 8:22
| Steve's pretty sure it's on iTunes since he can't see himself going to a record store to buy it. Steve fired up his iTunes but it's not on there, he must have gotten an mp3 from somewhere else. |
| 8:30
| Buzz has aborted the ball chair but he just wanted to try it. It's a Gaiam, which is a fusion of the words Gaia (Mother Earth) and I am. Sounds like a perfect reason to get off the chair then. |
| 8:31
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Steve saw Pat Boyle on Sportsnite last night, after the Sox game and post-game. Then Steve watched Playing for Peanuts which was very good. |
| 8:32
| The show is about an entire season of the South Georgia Peanuts. In the first episode a guy parachuting into the stadium crashes. Then the lights go out and they can't get them back on. They still want to play though becuase it's opening night. |
| 8:33
| There's an ad to buy the whole season on DVD. The guy who made it also did some other baseball documentary. It's sort of off-putting because he starts each episode but introducing himself. |
| 8:34
| He talks about his other documentary which is in the Baseball Hall of Fame. It's not that impressive but he's impressed with himself. |
| 8:35
| The team is managed by former major leaguer Wally Backman. He was very quickly hired and then fired by the Diamondbacks. He also has some really bad teeth. |
| 8:36
| The guy who made this show also made The Emerald Diamond about the Irish National baseball team. Pete has that, he's going to look for it now. |
| 8:37
| In the meantime it was a good weekend for the Cubs and Sox, both teams are in first place. You have to feel better if you're a Cubs fan after an 8-2 homestand. The Sox went 7-3 on the road but it was pretty topsy-turvy. |
| 8:38
| Alfonso Soriano is hitting every single pitch he gets. His batting average went up 100 points in about 2 weeks, that's almost unheard of. |
| 8:39
| The Sox did have a good road trip though and it was all on the west coat where they usually don't play well. Nick Swisher is getting back in Steve's good graces, there may be a bromance in the offing. |
| 8:40
| Right now Steve's next bromance will be with Carlton Fisk, who's coming back this Thursday. Buzz is very jealous. |
| 8:41
| Steve's worried about Lou Piniella, he needs to put on some sunblock. He's got some moles on his face that look pre-cancerous. |
| 8:42
| What's the deal with Zambrano breaking that bat on his knee? The Cubs lost two games on that homestand but they should have won both of them. |
| 8:43
| On Saturday the Cubs had a 4-2 lead and after striking out Zambrano broke a bat over his knee. Then he went on and blew the lead. You can't break a bat on your knee and then go out and pitch. |
| 8:44
| And what about that Octavio Dotel? He threw 12 straight balls to load the bases. The Sox didn't have anyone warming up though. Hawk was going nuts. At one point he claimed that every call went against them on this road trip, even though they won 7 of 10 games. |
| 8:45
| Pat has some audio of Mark DeRosa talking about the Cubs. Steve has to say, they look really good. The Sox are winning but they're also stranding 13 runners in a game. |
| 8:46
| Steve watched the Cubs game and there's no way around it, they look good. Brenly and Kasper do some great play-by-play too. |
| 8:47
| It was Bear linebacker weekend at Wrigley, Lance Briggs sang the stretch on Friday and Hunter Hillenmeyer did it on Saturday. No one asked Lance Briggs about his baby mamas. |
| 8:48
| Can someone take a box of condoms up to Halas Hall and show those guys how to use them? |
| 8:49
| Pat has some audio of both of them singing, we'll start with Hunter Hillenmeyer who wasn't as bad. It sounds like he's afraid to sing in his real voice though. Lance Briggs is worse and he needs to back off the mic though. Lance is clearly not getting the ladies from his voice. |
| 8:57
| That's the guy from Playing for Peanuts introducing his show. Steve is sick of people talking about financing their movie with credit cards. You know why he had to do that? Because no one wants to watch a movie about the Irish baseball team. |
| 8:58
| Alright so Tom Brady offers up another reason to have a crush on him. Does Pat have a crush on him, is that what this is? |
| 8:59
| Most QBs give their offensive linemen gifts like watches or vacations or steak dinners but Brady gave three of his o-linemen Audi SUVs. |
| 9:00
| Three linemen showed up at the Audi Best Buddies Challenge in Hyannisport-where Ted Kennedy had the gacker-and Brady gave them SUVs. |
| 9:01
| If it's sponsored by Audi he probably got them free or at least at cost. Of course the offensive line didn't protect Tom in the Super Bowl. |
| 9:02
| The Best Buddies Challenge benefits people who are intellectually challenged. One of the linemen has a sister who is intellectually challenged. They should donate their cars to the charity then. |
| 9:03
| Is intellectually challenged the same as mentally challenged? It sounds like how Steve would describe himself because he doesn't read. Like he can't discuss Little Women with someone. |
| 9:04
| Buzz thinks he can and has. OK he has but not the book. There's a copy of Little Women on the kitchen counter along with some other classic novels. Janet might be trying to get Steve to read. |
| 9:05
| Steve doesn't read but he does watch The Tudors, that's history. They're really ramping up the beheadings on that show and they're getting more graphic. |
| 9:06
| Next up is Anne Boleyn and Steve thinks they're saving the most graphic for her beheading. |
| 9:07
| The Bears start OTA's this week and it looks like Urlacher won't be there. You're sort of required to be at those so Urlacher is officially holding out. |
| 9:08
| Benson's first court date is also this week but he'll be represented in Texas by his attorney. Has Pat seen any of the photos from the boat? |
| 9:09
| Steve's guessing that there's still a pocket of people in Texas who don't like seeing white girls on a boat with black guys. If you're a cracker and you see that you're going to pull the boat over and that's not right |
| 9:17
| We're gonna get to the news here but first a traffic report from Tyrone. Earlier he reported that a trailer loaded with Double Stuft Oreos tipped over. This is the first Buzz is hearing about Double Stuft Oreos. |
| 9:18
| Anyway that truck turned over and spilled cookies all over the median and roadway. The driver fell asleep at the wheel early this morning and his truck slammed into the median. |
| 9:19
| That's median, not Medium Buzz. That woman at Medium is sexy in a crooked-tooth kind of way. She's one of those Arquette sisters. Not Roseanna, the one they wrote the song about, but Patricia. |
| 9:20
| Tyrone's got the bucket on his choptater filled up with milk which he's going to drop on the Oreo's. |
| 9:21
| There's a pool nearby that hasn't been filled up yet so Tyrone is going to dump the milk there and people can come by for dunking. |
| 9:22
| You shouldn't go swimming in that pool though because no one wants hair or other stuff in their milk when they're dunking. |
| 9:23
| There you have it, Oreo cookies all over the highway. How nice is it that it's Oreo's? It could have been anything but everyone cares about Oreo's. |
| 9:24
| If it was a truck of Pecan Sandies no one would care. Steve happens to enjoy a shortbread-based cookie, as does Buzz. |
| 9:25
| Buzz used to eat the Pecan Sandies with lemonade. So he'd be all for a Pecan Sandies spill? We/'d need the Keebler people to do that. |
| 9:26
| News with Buzz |
| 9:27
| A U.S. soldier is returning home after vandalizing a copy of the Koran. |
| 9:28
| Ted Kennedy remains hospitalized after suffering from a seizure on Saturday. He is reportedly alert, which is unusual, and watching baseball. He's also eating chowdah. |
| 9:29
| Hearings began today on the FLDS sect in Texas. Steve doesn't understand why they're going through with this if the initial police tip was a hoax. |
| 9:30
| Barack Obama is still on the campaign trail but he's starting to sound like the nomination is his. |
| 9:31
| Meanwhile John McCain will make a stop in Chicago today to speak to the National Restaurant Association. That guy looks like a tottering old man, he needs to hip it up a little bit. Maybe some product in what's left of his hair. |
| 9:32
| The tussling of McCain's hair by his wife, along with her saying he's losing some up there, led to him calling her the c-word. Aimee did the same thing to Buzz but all he did was get a hair transplant. |
| 9:33
| Two women in Spotsylvania County, Virginia were attacked by foxes. One woman is being treated after being bit by a rabid fox. Wasn't Buzz attacked by a sick fox in a parking lot once? |
| 9:34
| Two ex-cons who are brothers of state legislators are now County employees thanks to Todd Stroger. He doesn't care either, people keep doing exposes on him and it just makes him want to do worse things. |
| 9:35
| Officials in Richton Park are cracking down on aggressive panhandlers and public urinating. And that's where Steve was going to retire! You know he's an aggressive panhandler. |
| 9:36
| Everclear plans to spend two patriotic weekends with U.S. troops. Buzz thought they were talking about the liquor, not the band. |
| 9:37
| Lindsay Lohan is once again looking for corporate sponsorship for her birthday. How does Steve get in on something like that? Could he sponsor a cake or something? |
| 9:38
| Sponsors get their product put in the gift bag and their logos on posters and in press materials. What if we put those empty Jack FM cups in the gift bags? |
| 9:39
| They were giving those away at Woodfield Nissan on Friday, Steve asked one of the listeners if he wanted him to throw it away or would they do it themselves. |
| 9:40
| Steve would sure like to be part of this but it sounds pretty expensive. This company sells sponsorship for a lot of birthdays, like Kevin Federline. That's probably much cheaper. |
| 9:47
| Todd Stroger just don't care what he does. While a reporter is asking him about his hiring practices he's flipping through his Rolodex looking for another friend or relative he can hire. |
| 9:48
| Alright as Buzz knows the R. Kelly trial resumes tomorrow and Brendan will be there. He has an off day thanks to one of the jurors who had a final exam today. |
| 9:49
| Buzz is wondering how that happens. If you're the judge you give yourself a 3 day weekend and make it look like you're doing something good for someone. |
| 9:50
| it's a 3 day week this week because they have Fridays off. Then next week is also 3 days before of Memorial da y. |
| 9:51
| Alright let's look at the jurors on the case. Brendan was not there for the Romanian immigrant. He's 68-years-old and came to the U.S. 30 years ago. He knows Kelly is a singer but not the genre. |
| 9:52
| He's also a trainer which made Steve think it was going to be his former trainer who fired him. Cornell is not 68 though. Steve was late to one session because he was at a meeting where he found at WCKG was switching to Fresh FM. |
| 9:53
| The second juror is a personal trainer in her 20s. The third juror is a white man who just graduated from college at a Midwest university. He has prior convictions for marijuana and underage drinking, as all college kids do. |
| 9:54
| The next juror is a business executive, also white. He's a father of 2 kids and says child pornography is as low as it gets. He also thinks R. Kelly is guilty but will keep an open-mind. |
| 9:55
| This guy tried really hard to get off the jury. How did the defense let him on? Imagine all of the other idiots who were dismissed if this guy stayed? |
| 9:56
| The next juror is an African-American woman and the wife of a Baptist preacher from Olympia Fields. Juror number 7 is an African-American man who suspects his children know more R. Kelly music than he does. |
| 9:57
| Juror number 7 is in her early to mid 20s and hopes to study criminal justice some day. She says she only knows a few R. Kelly songs from when she was younger. |
| 9:58
| All of these people say they don't know much about the case, how can you not? Unless you went away for a while or something. |
| 9:59
| Juror #12 is Steve's favorite juror, the George Bush hater. He has a messenger bag with a button on it that says "Impeach Bush" Of course that's stupid because if you impeach Bush then Cheney is your President. This is the guy who also knows the gay judge and gay prosecutor, he met them at a convention. |
| 10:00
| So tomorrow Brendan will be at the courthouse for opening arguments. 4 women and 8 men will decide whether R. Kelly faces 15 years in prison. Does Brendan have stuff written down on note cards? |
| 10:01
| Steve understands that Brendan is getting his hair braided just like R. Kelly. It's being done by the girl who stays all night. |
