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| 5:32
| Thank you Buzz Kilman and the Orchestra, for another fine interlude from Holiday In Lakeview. |
| 5:33
| Buzz Kilman and His 6,000 Strings comes on the heels of that fine U2 song, Sunday Bloody Sunday. Steve likes when the Irish bands come over here and do songs about our politics. |
| 5:34
| Wait, that's the other one that mentions Martin Luther King. Sunday Bloody Sunday came out of a guitar riff and lyric written by The Edge. Can Buzz start calling Steve The Dahl? |
| 5:35
| While newlyweds Bono and Ali Hewson honeymooned in Jamaica The Edge worked on music for the band's next album. He was probably heartbroken that Bono got married, there goes all their action. |
| 5:36
| Following an argument with his girlfriend and a period of doubt in his own song-writing abilities, The Edge, feeling depressed, channeled his fear and frustration and self-loathing into music. How can you be called The Edge and doubt yourself? |
| 5:37
| Steve doesn't know what Sunday Bloody Sunday is about, something about Northern Ireland. Buzz thinks it involved the British firing on unarmed protestors. They don't do that over there any more do they? |
| 5:38
| It's not about ice cream or a woman's menstrual cycle right? Steve thought maybe it was after the fight with the girlfriend, top o' the menstrual cycle to ya! |
| 5:39
| Pride (In the Name of Love) was originally intended to be about Ronald Reagan's pride in American military power. See, that's what Steve is talking about right there. Maybe worry about your own problems first instead of coming over here to nail our chicks. He should just write songs about how bad the food is over there. |
| 5:40
| Bono had been influenced by Stephen B. Oates's book about Martin Luther King Jr. and a biography of Malcolm X. He can't write a whole song about the Reagan stuff? |
| 5:41
| The first line of the last verse incorrectly refers to King's shooting as taking place in the early morning of April 4th but it really happened in the early evening. |
| 5:42
| Stick to songs about how bad the food is over there. And no, Steve isn't talking about Ireland so he can play a Larkin & Moran Brothers. Mary is bringing the CD in anyway though. Steve can only handle those guys once a year. |
| 5:43
| It is nice to have Mary back from jury duty although she has to be on call all week. She has to call in twice a day, no wonder no one wants to serve on a jury. They should cross check people with driver's licenses and people who don't vote and make them serve on juries. |
| 5:44
| Down here in the city you'd say you thought R. Kelly was guilty in order to get out of serving on the jury. Up in Lake County you'd say a black person was not guilty and that the area needed more diversity. They'd kick you off right away. |
| 5:45
| This does remind Steve that he wants to start writing songs for the Larkin & Moran Brothers, it seems very easy. It seems like the band does alright although Steve gets a lot of emails from people claiming it's not real Irish music. |
| 5:46
| No one wants to hear real Irish music, it sounds like a dirge. The Larkin & Moran Brothers are dopey but at least their music is a little more upbeat. They're kind of idiots though, like when they showed up for St. Patrick's Day in Guinness t-shirts when the event was sponsored by Budweiser. |
| 5:47
| Steve's going to play a little Larkin & Moran Brothers just to shut Mary up quite frankly. She won't stop talking about them. Pete needs to come in during the next break and hide this CD, he's sick of them too right? |
| 5:48
| Pete was actually encouraging it, he loves when Steve sings along with the Irish music. Next time Steve will just call him on the phone and sing for him. He's just kissing up to Mary anyway. How can Pete like that music, it's upbeat and popular. Did Pete lose his girlfriend? |
| 5:49
| Pete is still dating the same girl and going to New York every other weekend. Mike Dahl was in New York last week. His girlfriend works in DC and they had some cockamamie plan where Mike would fly to Newark because it has better train service to Penn Station. |
| 5:50
| Pete has heard good things about Newark but it's all wrong. That place is a nightmare. He was going to go to the Yankees game on Saturday but it was rained out. They wouldn't even let him in to walk around. |
| 5:51
| On Sunday Mike's girlfriend took the train back to DC and Mike went to Newark. Has Steve taught his boys nothing? Take a cab to LaGuardia! Mike is worried about his carbon footprint. No matter what he does it's all undone by Steve and his car. |
| 5:52
| Steve would take the train into work if there was one that ran early enough. Pete's willing to petition Metra for an earlier train. Steve would do it, he'd ride his bike to the train, put his bike on the train and then ride it to the Prudential. Steve saw that all on the news last night. |
| 5:53
| They also showed a girl putting her bike on a CTA bus. She said it only takes 30 seconds to mount it on the bike rack. Is that why that one woman got run over, she took more than 30 seconds to mount her bike? |
| 5:54
| You're not supposed to take your bike during rush hour periods which Steve would qualify for. Although how would they enforce that, there's no one on the trains anyway. |
| 5:55
| Did Buzz hear about that train conductor over in Europe? He left the mic on and then was pleasuring himself. The entire train heard him. Steve doesn't see the harm though, it's not like he has to steer. |
| 6:00
| A week is a long time to be on call for jury duty, especially if you have a job. It's a lot of time to devote to judging the scum of society and decide if you should lock them up. |
| 6:01
| Speaking of that, Brendan R. Greeley is on the phone, live from the R. Kelly Trial. R. Kelly is an idiot, he's the black Larkin & Moran Brothers, Steve's surrounded by idiot music today. What's Brendan's middle name? |
| 6:02
| It's actually McBride. Like Dave McBride? The newsman turned malcontent? He was more than a malcontent at the end, he was an albatross. |
| 6:03
| Today the trial actually gets underway with opening arguments. There is a strong media presence even this early in the morning. Everyone is here except Fox. As far as Steve can tell Fox doesn't actually cover the news. |
| 6:04
| Sometimes Steve has to watch Fox 32 news at night. Last weekend Mark Saxenmeyer did a story about camps you can send your kids to. That's not news! But it was a 5 minute segment. |
| 6:05
| Brendan was just accused by a woman from ABC of standing behind Dan Ponce's shot. Tell the woman we don't even know who Dan Ponce is. She grabbed his badge to see where he was from. |
| 6:06
| Dan Ponce, Anthony Ponce, Phil Ponce, how many Ponce's are there? And yet Steve can't get Matt Dahl a job? Buzz says Anthony Ponce is cute, but so is Matt Dahl. He looks like Justin Timberlake! |
| 6:07
| Brendan should tell that woman from ABC that she's fat and ugly, in case she doesn't know already. Brendan has every right to be there, he was at the courthouse all week, where was she? |
| 6:08
| It's not as if ABC doesn't always have people behind their shots waving, on their cellphones, or standing at that studio window wearing a stupid suit. |
| 6:09
| WGN has Marcella Raymond on the scene but they just had to bring in a replacement news van. Steve is surprised they have an extra van, they seem so low budget out there. CLTV has some skinny black guy and NBC has Kim Vatis, or Quo as Steve likes to call her. |
| 6:10
| Right now ABC has Rick Bayless making a lazy-man's salsa. A lazy-man's salsa is Pace Picante, not chopping and grilling up a bunch of vegetables. |
| 6:11
| Last night Buzz was handed the task of making macaroni and cheese from a box. It was a nightmare and he messed it up. How do you mess that up, just follow the directions! Steve has to think that Kraft has perfected the directions on the box. Piper was mad at him because he couldn't follow the directions. And a child shall lead a them. |
| 6:12
| Buzz was actually making the mac and cheese with the liquid cheese that you add milk to. He couldn't figure out how much milk to add though and it ended up being like soup. She wouldn't eat the chicken nuggets that were already made because she eats them "every stinkin' night" |
| 6:13
| Regardless of what Buzz did though, Piper ate the mac and cheese and said it was the best she'd ever had. That's probably because she made the effort. She was trying to get Buzz to eat the chicken nuggets because mom would be mad that there were 5 still left. Plus she'd see the mac and cheese soup and the mess Buzz had made with it. |
| 6:14
| Those chicken nuggets are delicious when you put them in the toaster oven though. Usually he puts them in the microwave and they're horrible and they stink. |
| 6:15
| There was an ingredient list that was part of the pre-prep, along with boiling some water. Buzz added the milk and butter to the boiling water which is probably why it turned into a soup. |
| 6:16
| There was a time when all Steve ate was mac and cheese, that's all he could afford and they were 19¢ a box. Sometimes Steve longs for those days when 19¢ was enough for him. |
| 6:17
| Well, Steve's sorry that Brendan was hassled by the fat, ugly woman from ABC. He should report her to the media liaison to the judge. |
| 6:23
| Alright let's once again share what Buzz has told us about cooking mac and cheese. He put the milk and the butter in the water, with the noodles, and then drained it. |
| 6:24
| He didn't rinse the noodles because he didn't want to lose any of the cheesy goodness. Buzz actually didn't use the butter but he didn't need to because the noodles were already coated in the mixture he made. |
| 6:25
| Steve needs to rewind what he just saw on ABC. They had Rick Bayless cooking and then they were talking about that stupid Dancing with the Stars. Rick is dancing around and Steve feels uncomfortable with the way his jeans accentuate his package. |
| 6:26
| Look at that! Steve works out at the same gym with Rick and he's never seen a hog on him like that. Steve might accuse him of stuffing if he works out today. |
| 6:27
| He might not work out today though, he's thinking about going up to 800 pounds and getting a Rascal. If you have clothes that fit you you'll feel light as a feather. |
| 6:28
| Steve was watching ABC because Brendan got accused of standing in Dan Ponce's shot. The Ponce brothers did work in other markets but still, Matt should be able to find a job somewhere. |
| 6:29
| Is it wrong for Steve to think that someone should make a job for Matt? There's a certain limp feeling in all of this, Steve might need to get some Cialis. If Matt were as hot as Lauren Jiggetts he could probably get a job. Sometimes it's troubling to Steve because Dan would probably look like Lauren if he were smaller and in drag. Then Steve wanders what Dan would look like in drag and has to change the channel. |
| 6:30
| Alright it's time for the web poll question. Yesterday's web poll question was of course "Will you be joining the hair metal revival group on Facebook?" 91% of the people said they were already a member. |
| 6:31
| OK, ABC has Dan Ponce on right now, Steve can't see Brendan in the background. Also their reporting is lame, ours is much better. It's all obvious stuff. The prosecutors are going to show the sex tape as soon as possible. Really?! |
| 6:32
| Today's web poll question, brought to us by the Acura Dealer's Association, is "What is your 'go to' credit card?" It always says Acura Dealer's but Steve adds the "the" on there. |
| 6:33
| Adam's in charge of approving the copy before Steve gets it. He was called in for a nice chat yesterday. It went well, right? Steve calls down to Adam's office. The chat did go well. |
| 6:34
| Also, there's a photo on Dahl.com from Woodfield Nissan of a girl talking to Steve. It's a good photo but you can't really see what her t-shirt says. Also next time focus more on the girl, and her hooters, and less on the back of Steve's head. It looks like he's going bald! |
| 6:35
| The girl was there to get New Kids tickets which Steve is still sitting on. He has a whole brick of them. Steve didn't have any tickets to give away becuase Jill was making people register for them. Jill has never met a promotion she couldn't make more complicated. |
| 6:36
| They didn't need to do a ticket registration! Then they did the drawing on Monday, does that make any sense? |
| 6:37
| Steve can't believe we gave away a pair of perfectly good New Kids tickets to someone who wasn't even there on Friday. Steve could have given them to this girl and at least got flashed in a cubicle. |
| 6:38
| Jill doesn't even listen to the show. She didn't even recognize Steve's voice when he called her last week. She's probably too busy ordering empty cups that people are going to throw out. |
| 6:39
| Mary wasn't here yesterday and Steve booked himself into too many meetings. Steve only wants to meet with Todd and Rod, from The Simpsons. Mary usually keeps him out of the rest of the meetings. |
| 6:40
| Steve accidentally got into a meeting with Ryan Lieberman, the sales manager. He was the guy who had Steve in an hour long meeting with Seattle Sutton. Then he said the on-air interview with her was brutal. He might not know how to deal with the talent. |
| 6:41
| Seattle likes to do an on-air interview before she buys her schedule of ads and kudos to her. Steve was just doing this guy a favor and he says that?! He's a nice enough guy but Steve's never meeting with him again. |
| 6:42
| Steve had to send Stephanie for a sandwich to calm him down. He got a 12 incher from Subway, double turkey. Steve thought they'd have a nice lunch party, since Mary wasn't there and she never eats, but they decided to take their sandwiches home. |
| 6:43
| Stephanie puts too many onions on her sandwich since it's her favorite food. Steve felt his sandwich had too many onions as well but she claimed it came as is. They couldn't make out afterwards since she left so Steve made out with Adam. |
| 6:44
| Adam reminds Steve of Jiminy Crickett and he means that in a good way. Does Adam know who that is? Steve actually has an original animation cell of Jiminy Crickett. If he ever finds it, Adam can hang it in his office. |
| 6:45
| Steve had his entire inventory cataloged and consolidated. He paid some people thousands of dollars to do that because he was looking for three original art prints. Then they found them and spilled coffee on them. That was satisfying and Steve's pretty sure he still paid them. |
| 6:46
| So Steve's never meeting with that Ryan guy again. He needs to get out and get some sun too, he looks like a mushroom. Ryan will probably never want to meet with Steve after this but that's what he does. |
| 6:47
| Can Adam crop that photo on Dahl.com so Steve doesn't look like he's going bald? Because then someone from that hair transplant place will call him for an endorsement and Buzz will lose his. |
| 6:48
| Steve put product in his hair today and he shaved, he might be a metrosexual. He's been using the cold water shaving method and it works great. It's the best thing he's learned so far doing mornings. If there was a baby here and you put it's ass up to Steve's face....well he'd be arrested. But in terms of smoothness, it would be the same. |
| 6:49
| Because of a new Supreme Court ruling you can't even draw kiddie porn. So there goes Steve and Buzz's idea for that comic strip! Steve didn't know how to break that news to Buzz so he just came out and said it. |
| 6:53
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:54
| That's David Hochberg on piano. You wouldn't know looking at him but he's a virtuoso. |
| 6:55
| We have a stockpile of these live reads that we need to give to Adam. Ever since David had the third kid he's gotten very sloppy. |
| 6:56
| David must have been caught doing something really bad, Steve's never seen anyone that whipped. He might actually be nursing the new kid. |
| 6:57
| Alright we've got a web poll to do but also Brendan is out at 26th and California for the R. Kelly trial. |
| 6:58
| Steve is still watching ABC and hasn't seen Brendan in the background of any shots. He's also disturbed by Rick Bayless. Steve's never seen that chorizo he's sporting at the gym. If he were Tracy Butler's husband he'd be making some phone calls right now. |
| 6:59
| Steve likes Rick Bayless but lazy-man's salsa does not involve grilling vegetables. A lazy man doesn't take the cover off the grill. He doesn't even have vegetables in his house to grill. |
| 7:00
| Brendan won the lottery to watch the opening arguments but there are a lot more reporters there now than there were last week. |
| 7:01
| This is Brendan's first trial, after this he'll get permanent media credentials. We did have a dust-up over the donuts but that seems like it's all cleared up. |
| 7:02
| Buzz feels that ultimately Donutgate was good for Brendan because it showed he was sincere about his coverage and not just a radio prankster. "It was just a gesture" , that was Brendan's quote to both papers. Best quote over. |
| 7:03
| Then we had Sheriff Tom Dart calling in to say everything was fine and request some Eddie Money. Steve gets a lot of emails from people who say they listen to the show in the morning and then Jack for the rest of the day. |
| 7:04
| That's good for Steve and Buzz because they want the rest of the station to be successful. It's not good when they're the only successful thing on the station, we saw that happen at WCKG. |
| 7:05
| In the afternoons you should be driving home and listening to music and making phone calls. You don't need to be listening to a talk show after you've been working all day. |
| 7:06
| Although Steve was distracted on the way home yesterday driving behind a girl who was talking on her phone and not really paying attention. She was hot though so an accident wouldn't have been such a bad thing. He wanted to make a citizens arrest but all he had on him were his fur-lined cuffs. |
| 7:07
| Things don't get underway until 11 am this morning. So there's no reason for him to be there this early? Did Brendan try one of those breakfast burritos yet? |
| 7:08
| What Brendan thought was a breakfast burrito on the catering truck was actually a beef and sausage combo. He couldn't tell the difference between a burrito and a combo? |
| 7:09
| Brendan did get a tip from a female deputy working at the court, there's a breakfast taco that's probably what he's looking for. Brendan has to say that all the female deputies are very attractive. If he needs Steve to bring him any water this afternoon, just give him a call. |
| 7:10
| It would probably be inappropriate for Steve to take photos of the deputies right? He was thinking of a calendar with the money going to a battered women's shelter. That's how you cloak yourself. He'd need to get Tom Dart on board, The Dartster as he likes to call him. |
| 7:11
| Buzz finds it interesting that the two central figures in the case, R. Kelly and the girl on the tape, are both saying they're not the people on the tape. What kind of expert witness can they use to refute that? |
| 7:12
| Standby Buzz, we've got Anita Padilla calling in from the courthouse. She couldn't help but call because she heard Steve was saying Fox wasn't covering the trial. |
| 7:13
| Anita was in the studio but now she's live from the courthouse. They had a truck out at O'Hare reporting on that report about airline satisfaction. They sent out a live truck for that?! It's a published report, just hold it up on screen! |
| 7:14
| Anita should always get the first truck when they go out in the morning. Brendan's on the trail of a breakfast taco in case she's looking for something to eat. |
| 7:15
| Alright, we've got a web poll to do, Steve's going to take a break. It's about which credit card you use. Steve has a few go to cards for his miles and points. |
| 7:16
| Steve might be disappointed to learn that Buzz is no longer racking up points for airplane tickets. He never goes anywhere anyway. You could argue that Steve doesn't go anywhere either. |
| 7:24
| Steve's getting behind here and he apologizes. We've got news to do and the web poll as well. Steve was going to introduce something else but it is news so maybe he should just do that. |
| 7:25
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. Cathy Crowell Webb has died. The article about her death mentions that radio DJs wrote songs about her. As far as Steve knows he's the only one who wrote any songs. |
| 7:26
| Steve can't play the song on the air these days but he wanted Ed to stream it on the website. It occurred to Steve that he has a lot of other songs that he owns the rights to that should be up on iTunes. Is that something we can do? And by we Steve means Adam. |
| 7:27
| Pete and Jim know most of those songs and since they're not parodies Steve doesn't have to worry about getting the rights for them. |
| 7:28
| Alright time for the web poll. Discover ranks 4th behind Visa, Mastercard and Amex but they're trying to change that. It's 50 million cardholders will now be able to make transactions overseas thanks to their acquisition of Diner's Club. That was the first credit card. |
| 7:29
| Discover has attracted new customers with freebies like paying back interest to people who pay off their balances. |
| 7:30
| The Discover card does look cool now, it used to look dorky. Steve's pretty sure he has a Discover card in his wallet. He can't take his wallet out though because it took him 5 minutes to button the back pocket of his cargo shorts last week. |
| 7:31
| Discover is based here so maybe we could get some sort of sweet deal. Steve revolves his cards for the miles. For a while he was just using his Amex for the Starwood points. |
| 7:32
| However if you want to transfer your miles from American to United it's a 2 for 1 exchange which is a rip. Going from United to American actually gives you a 1 1/4 exchange rate. |
| 7:33
| Who do they think they are at United? Their planes are filthy. Really all planes could be cleaned better. Charge more money for tickets, let's get rid of some of the riff-raff. Steve also thinks a driver's license should cost $1,000. These are just some of the ideas he has that probably won't get him elected. |
| 7:34
| And another thing, with all due respect to immigrants, If they want to fix this that problem they need to change the law where if your kid is born here they're a citizen. It seems like that's where a lot of the problems come from, no one wants to break up a family. |
| 7:35
| Steve's not saying anything against immigrants but it seems like that would simplify things. Steve doesn't want to take any calls on this and he'll delete all emails about it. He just wanted to point that out because no one ever mentions it. |
| 7:36
| Buzz thinks that's sort of an international law. A lot of other countries probably do it the same way. Well maybe it's time to reexamine international law. |
| 7:37
| Steve's not even saying he's right, he's just pointing out another angle to this debate. He doesn't want to talk about it any more though because he has nothing else to say. |
| 7:38
| And then there's that whole deal with the protest at DePaul, who cares who's speaking there? And then they show that nerdy guy who's the head of the Conservatives at DePaul. Was that what Buzz was when he was in college? |
| 7:39
| News with Buzz |
| 7:40
| Kentucky and Oregon are holding Democratic primaries today so that's where candidate campaigning will be focused. Some people in Kentucky are less than enthusiastic about the upcoming election though. |
| 7:41
| Senator Robert Byrd, a one-time member of the KKK, has endorsed Barack Obama. This comes 6 days after Obama was defeated in the West Virginia primary. |
| 7:42
| The R. Kelly trial gets underway today with opening arguments. The alleged girl in the video, who is now 23, is denying it's her. And R. Kelly is denying it's him of course. So the prosecution has it's work cut out for it. |
| 7:43
| Hundreds of student activists assembled at DePaul yesterday to protest the appearance of Chris Simcox, head of the Minutemen. It is against the law to cross the border illegally so it doesn't seem like this guy should be protested for saying that. |
| 7:44
| There is one guy who seems to be following Chris Simcox around wherever he goes and protesting him. The guy's just making a speech, he's not passing a law. |
| 7:45
| Cathy Crowell Webb is dead at the age of 46. She became the center of a media circus after recanting a rape charge against Gary Dotson. She made the false accusation because of a pregnancy scare with her boyfriend. |
| 7:46
| Britain's parliament has voted in favor of creating human/animal embryos. For breakfast? Let's not rule that out but it does open the door for some freaky possibilities. Like a zygote? What's a zygote? Does it involve a goat? Steve thinks it has something to do with an egg or something. |
| 7:47
| Steve saw Narnia over the weekend and he enjoyed it, even though he didn't think he would. They have minotaurs and centaurs, would that be a possibility with human/animal embryos? Steve was troubled by the half woman/half horse but as a guy how bad would it be to be half horse? |
| 7:55
| Back to Buzz in the newsroom |
| 7:56
| Divers off the coast of Florida found a rare artifact in a shipwreck, a gold combination toothpick and earwax scoop. That's handy unless you stick the wrong end in your ear. |
| 7:57
| Steve got sucked into something NBC last night that made him quite angry. It was a Dateline special but he can't remember the name. A couple went on their honeymoon to Australia and while diving the wife drowned. |
| 7:58
| She was an inexperienced diver but the husband was a rescue diver. The story didn't add up though. But after 2 hours of this story nothing happened. Steve needs an arrest or something! Those things are always so overwrought, there's a lot of recapping. |
| 7:59
| The last thing they left the view with was that there was a hearing in Queensland and the guy didn't show up for it. There was no resolution though, after 2 hours! |
| 8:00
| It was called Mystery in the Deep Blue Sea. There will probably be more later but after 2 hours Steve expects a resolution. It did make Steve want to go diving at the Great Barrier Reef. |
| 8:01
| When does Steve have the time to do that though? Buzz would love to do some marlin fishing down there. Steve only wants to dive so it seems pointless for them to go together if they're going to do different things. |
| 8:02
| George Takei will marry his longtime partner after California lifted it's ban on gay marriage. Buzz once found himself in a bathroom with George Takei, he was very congenial but the acoustics in the bathroom really amplified his voice even further. He puts Brendan to shame. |
| 8:03
| A College of Lake County student who claimed an instructor raped her in a classroom has recanted her charge. Police arrested the accused teacher and he was dismissed in March. |
| 8:04
| An Aurora casino will have to pay more than $800,000 in fines for advertising itself to chronic gamblers. On the surface that seems like a good idea, they're your core customers. Steve's fat and he's always getting ads for food sent to him, who's looking out for him? |
| 8:05
| A New Jersey family is suing a baseball bat company after their son was struck in the chest with a metal bat during the game. Blood flow was cut off to his brain and he is now massively disabled. |
| 8:06
| Metal bats can be swung faster and the ball comes off the bat faster. They don't use them in the Majors because people would be killed. It doesn't seem right to use metal bats, that sound of a ball coming off a metal bat is the worst sound in the world. And the sound of a ball coming off a wood bat is the best sound. |
| 8:07
| Finally, Dick Durbin isn't happy with gas prices in Chicago being the highest in the country. He's saying the administration has done nothing to help alleviate the problem. What has he done though? |
| 8:08
| This whole oil thing is probably more complicated than everyone thinks it is. It's all supply and demand. We should be getting oil out of Iraq everyday, no charge. |
| 8:09
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. We have a few delightful treats today. From the Why Pay More Menu, a Cheesy Beef Burrito, it's only 89¢! Also the Fruitista Freeze. |
| 8:10
| That's a smooth frozen mango drink topped with real strawberries. And it's delightful! |
| 8:11
| Alright we've got Brendan on the line, live from the R. Kelly trial. He's learned that we'll hear from some witnesses today in addition to opening statements. They didn't say who though. |
| 8:12
| It would be nice if it was the girl, let's kick it off with that. They should show the video, let's set the tone. Will Brendan get to see the video? |
| 8:13
| Steve's wondering if they'll clean the video up because at the beginning there's a really hot girl but that was taped over. |
| 8:14
| Brendan will probably get to see it, he's a reporter. You can't view it online because it's child pornography. |
| 8:15
| It's interesting they can show that in court since it is child pornography, at least if that girl is in fact underage. |
| 8:22
| Steve might have accidentally had a second burrito during the break, along with another sip of his Fruitista. |
| 8:23
| Live read: National City |
| 8:24
| Alright it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time with Pat Boyle. In hindsight Steve should have probably gone right to Pat and allowed himself to digest before going to the live read. |
| 8:25
| Last night was another example of why sports is the best reality show on TV. How so Pat Boyle? There were a lot of weird things that happened last night that you can't script. |
| 8:26
| A few things happened in the Cubs game and at Fenway. At Minute Maid Park in Houston they have a lot of weird configurations which Steve knows because the Sox won two games there in the World Series. |
| 8:27
| Steve did see the highlight of the inside-the-park home run. The home run line looks like an Etch-a-Sketch, why did they do that? Did they not have the money to buy more land? Fenway has the Green Monster because they didn't have the land. |
| 8:28
| Geovanny Soto should have had a home run anyway. Is he Italian? Geovanny, that's Italian right? Pete doesn't know but he usually knows the pedigree of every Cubs player. He's actually Puerto Rican. |
| 8:29
| It was clear after seeing the replay that Soto did have a home run but the ump didn't call it. They might want to go with instant replay, the game can't possibly get any slower. |
| 8:30
| That guy is pretty fast for a catcher. Pat put a stopwatch to it, he rounded the bases in about 18 seconds. Len Kasper had a good call too. He was able to eyeball that the ball was a home run but then it caromed into the field. |
| 8:31
| Steve's sure that Ron Santo captured the magic on the radio, yelling "OH MY GOD" while Pat Hughes tried to call the play. |
| 8:32
| Ted Lilly was stellar last night, he and Steve are friends from the Comcast Sportsnet Awards. As he was leaving the stage he was yelling something at Steve but he couldn't hear him. The Luvabulls were pulling him away but it seemed like something positive. |
| 8:33
| Jim Edmonds made an incredible catch last night in his second start for the Cubs. Pat is using a lot of hyperbole here. There was no Sox game so Mr. Cubs Fan is running amok. He's drooling all over this team. |
| 8:34
| How did the Cubs get him? He's really good isn't he? He's 38 and some people think he doesn't have any gas in the tank but apparently he does. They signed him for $200,000 so it was very little risk for the Cubs. |
| 8:35
| Pat also has audio of Len's call from that catch. It sounds like Pat and Len should get a room. The police are coming for Len or maybe it's Kenny Williams. |
| 8:36
| Kenny has his own problems right now. It doesn't seem like that scouting thing is that big of a deal. You'd think that bribery would go on a lot in Latin America. |
| 8:37
| It's all just Jay Mariotti, he's calling it a secret scandal. There's a shocker, Mariotti hates the Sox. Who cares, it's Latin America. It's like Chinatown, forget about it. |
| 8:38
| Bud Selig took an American League team and put them in the National League team, in the Cubs division, to make them more valuable. No one stopped that! No one stopped the steroids thing either. |
| 8:39
| The game seemed much more interesting at the height of the steroid scandal. Let's juice 'em up again! Steve would make a great baseball commissioner. |
| 8:40
| The Sox are back in town for a 3 game series against Cleveland. Contreras faces Sabathia, that should be a good one. |
| 8:41
| The other reason Pat said that sports is great reality TV is because of what happened at Fenway last night. On a random Monday night the Red Sox are playing Kansas City, no one cares about that. |
| 8:42
| Jon Lester is pitching, who cares about that either. He's never pitched a complete game in the Majors. Last night he pitched a no-hitter. 2 years ago he had cancer. It's a hell of a story. |
| 8:43
| Today on Good Morning America they were calling him a "Brave Pitcher" which is misleading. He's not with the Braves, can't they use courageous? He did pitch in the World Series last year, it's not like they got him out of the hospital yesterday to pitch. |
| 8:44
| Steve's glad he recovered and everything though. But a no-hitter does nothing for him, he only cares about a perfect game. Of course Steve missed Buehrle's no-hitter last year, along with Thome's 500th home run. |
| 8:45
| Plus Steve grew up in Southern California, Sandy Koufax threw a no-hitter every other day. Steve just went Hawk Harrelson on us there. |
| 8:46
| Steve was at Gavin Floyd's near-no-hitter though, he stayed past his bedtime. There was the other near-no-hitter but Steve wasn't there for that. The recent near-no-hitter erases the older one. |
| 8:47
| Had Brian Anderson been in center at that last Floyd game he would have caught the ball. |
| 8:48
| You have to understand that as a Jewish left-hander, Sandy Koufax was a hero to Steve. He's not Jewish but he is a lefty. When he was a kid there were only two mitts you could buy, both Sandy Koufax models. |
| 8:49
| The Stanley Cup Finals are set with Detroit facing Pittsburgh. As it turns out Steve isn't that big of a hockey fan when it's not the Blackhawks. |
| 8:50
| The hockey season is too long and Steve is Short Attention Span Theater. It's not as long as the basketball season though, that's still going on! |
| 8:51
| Thanks Peanut, for letting us into your mystical, magical world of sports. Pat knew Steve was going to rip into him right away. What is this, Sex and the City sports?! |
| 8:58
| That was Ron Santo complaining about a fan holding up a sign in front of the broadcast booth. What did the sign say? |
| 8:59
| They never said what was on the sign, Pete assumes it was something pro-Astros. Steve calls down to the newsroom. |
| 9:00
| Jim watched the game on TV and they never referenced the sign. That's where a Pat Hughes should step up and say "No, I don't think they should Cuck the Fubs" Ron shouldn't say it though because he'd say it wrong. For the first month of the year Jim never heard Santo say Fukudome, probably because WGN told him not to. He just called him Kosuke, or Costco. |
| 9:01
| Alright Brendan is checking in live from the R. Kelly trial. Opening arguments begin today and they may talk to some witnesses. They should show the video too. |
| 9:02
| The video was allegedly made at R. Kelly's home in Lakeview, which Brendan always made Matt Dahl drive by when they were in the area. When it went on the market there was a sign listing all the amenities. It has a full-service video editing room right? But probably not enough bathrooms. |
| 9:03
| Brendan wanted to view the house when it was on the market but they wouldn't let him. That's not right, it's discrimination. |
| 9:04
| There are going to be some pre-trial motions taking place at 10 am today. Wouldn't it be funny if the motions were just a lawyer humping the desk or something. That Jensen guy could do wheelies in his Rascal. |
| 9:05
| Brendan suspects that R is just waking up in the arms of his hair braider this morning. He probably had to get rebraided today and she stays all night according to the song. |
| 9:06
| Brendan is really excited about he opening arguments today. That Jensen guy seems pretty smart. He did keep R. Kelly out of court for 6 years so he must be. |
| 9:07
| Some onlookers have started gathering but Brendan hasn't determined if they're pro or con. Maybe they haven't decided and just showed up with a blank poster and marker. |
| 9:08
| Brendan did get his breakfast taco today, he talked to his guy Roberto at the Roach Coach. He's not going to be his guy much longer if he keeps calling it a Roach Coach. |
| 9:09
| Anita Padilla also called it a Roach Coach. As a guy who hopes to one day own one of those he doesn't like to hear that. What do they actually call those things? Steve had Adam looking into it last week. |
| 9:10
| Steve calls down to Adam's office, they're called mobile catering trucks. Adam's been pricing them out and we're looking at a minimum of $75,000, unstocked. That's too much for Steve. Plus you need to get a license. |
| 9:11
| Buzz is wondering why we can't just build one. We'll do it in our Steve Dahl Show metal shop. Well that's the end of that dream. |
| 9:12
| Was Adam just going to string Steve along and then buy one and tell him about the price afterwards? It should be $20,000 at the most! Plus you have to buy your own stock?! |
| 9:13
| Steve calls back to Adam's office. He's always trying to get Steve to spend his money. He had those It's Too Early DVDs, they were going to cost about $150,000 to make. |
| 9:14
| Adam thought we were still doing the DVDs. That's too much! Steve is not going to spend that much putting a show on DVD that he never made any money off of in the first place. |
| 9:15
| That's the end of it too, Steve's not just going to wake up one day and decide it's a good day to blow $150,000. Buzz suggests we just put them all on iTunes. |
| 9:16
| There ya go, iTunes. How are those songs coming along? iTunes won't let you put any songs on there that aren't already part of a published album. |
| 9:17
| Adam should work for the post office or the IRS. Steve has heard this from Ron Lewis but both of them bore Steve to death. A meeting with them could easily put him into a coma. |
| 9:18
| Adam seems like a guy who tries to make things much harder to do than they actually are. Then when it's done he gets credit for it. |
| 9:25
| Just for the record Steve thinks 11 x 3 was published, it was on A Decade of Service. Ed is going to put it up on Dahl.com though. 11 x 3 is a crowd-pleaser in concert but it's not really one you can play on the air. |
| 9:26
| We now go back to our man at 26th and California, Brendan Greeley. He's going to head into the courtroom right now because he doesn't want to get locked out. |
| 9:27
| Brendan will take copious notes and he also brought a pencil so he can do some shading on the courtroom sketches. |
| 9:28
| Brendan's early sketches are already drawing interest from Buzz, he wants to buy them. He prefers the earlier work, it's more primitive. |
| 9:29
| Brendan's doing a fine job with the trial coverage. Steve's not sure how it's affecting the Matt Dahl Show podcast. Last week they did shows but they were later in the afternoon. |
| 9:30
| Alright, it's time for another reading from Bill Kurtis cookbook. He'd like to read from the introduction today although yesterday he gave us a fine recipe for raccoon. |
| 9:31
| Buzz threw a raccoon in his crock pot last night but it's still crocking today. Some raccoon can be very tough. |
| 9:32
| Centuries ago Native Americans would burn grasslands to make way for new growth to attract buffalo. Sometimes the fire would get out of control, devouring everything in it's path. The Osage Indians called it the red buffalo. |
| 9:33
| That's the name of Bill's ranch also. And a raging prairie fire is really a metaphor for Bill's life. |
| 9:34
| Bill founded Tallgrass Beef when the words organic, pasture-raised and free-range confused most people. It wasn't that long ago was it? |
| 9:35
| Alright that's all for today, as you can imagine Bill goes on and on and on. The word diarrhea comes up next which you don't usually see in a cookbook. |
| 9:36
| Bill would also like to give Buzz a recipe from the Native American section. How about wild grape dumplings. Use possum grapes when ripe in the fall. Bill is assuming people won't actually make these recipes. |
| 9:37
| This recipe is from Ruby East of the Cherokee Tribe. Cherokee Nation, Cherokee tribe. So proud to live, so proud to die. Is Buzz familiar with Paul Revere and the Raiders? |
| 9:45
| Alright we have news coming up with Buzz but first Buzz has a story. He took his daughter to Medieval Times for his birthday last week. |
| 9:46
| Steve has always wanted to go to Medieval Times but his family just laughs at him. He's tried to book New Year's Eve but no one wants to go. |
| 9:47
| Buzz has been to an empty Medieval Times once before. He was checking it out after he heard you could get married there. He realized he couldn't do that though. |
| 9:48
| But the show was fantastic. Steve is into The Tudors and he's an Anglophile so he wants to go. |
| 9:49
| The jousting is very exciting and the actors seem very serious. They probably have to be because it seems somewhat dangerous. |
| 9:50
| It's also like traveling back in time with the jousting and the people with British accents and eating food with your hands. That's the best part, seeing people eat with their hands. |
| 9:51
| Buzz hesitates to bring this up though but the day did start in tears. Buzz got tickets from a sales guy at a different CBS station. Is this guy Buzz's new favorite guy now? |
| 9:52
| All day long we do stuff for Buzz but if one sales guy gets him tickets to Cirque de Soleil he's the greatest guy. |
| 9:53
| Buzz told the sales guy that money was no issue, he just wanted the best experience. He wanted great seats and he got them. Then they arrive and they have their tickets and they're comped on everything and they go to the gift shop and get their crowns. |
| 9:54
| Then a page summons everyone to a special area where the king makes an appearance. He says that he's going to knight special people who have birthdays that day. |
| 9:55
| So Piper is of course getting very excited because she knows it's her birthday. But Buzz never set it up with anyone. He thought they knew, he thought her name was going to be in the system. |
| 9:56
| But Piper's name was never called. She looked at Buzz, she looked at the king and then her face melted. Buzz had to go off by himself and get himself together because he was very mad. |
| 9:57
| Of course two seconds later Piper had forgotten about it and was having the time of her life. But Buzz was still burning up. |
| 9:58
| Steve is going to say this again-and if you check the show log he's probably said it hundreds of times-Buzz should come to us whenever he wants something. You think a Steve Dahl would send him out there and not have Piper knighted? The Medieval Times people love us. |
| 9:59
| Steve's looking at the Medieval Times pricing and it seems like he had the Celebration Package. He probably should have upgraded to the King's Royalty Package. That's probably the one where you can tell someone it's Piper's birthday and she gets knighted. |
| 10:00
| How could Buzz know about that though? Steve's good with blaming all the other people who helped him out. Next time, come to Steve. Because one of these days Buzz is going to go off like a grenade. |
| 10:01
| If Buzz goes through the Steve Dahl organization he might be asked to do a favor, which he can't refuse. However Stephanie would call out to Medieval Times on the day he was going to make sure everything was good. |
| 10:02
| Just for Steve's own records, which other station was involved? Buzz went to someone over at US99. He went into Hillbilly Heaven for this?! They don't even use utensils at that station! |
| 10:03
| Next time Buzz should come to Steve. Although it is funnier when he's left to his own devices and something like this happens. |
