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| 5:33
| Well it's good to be back. Steve is sure Buzz is happy to be back, the work horse that he is. |
| 5:34
| Remind Steve to complain to Todd about the lateness of that last break. He won't be able to do it until tomorrow because Todd is still on his 4 day weekend in Montana. It's very grueling to program B and Jack FM so he takes an extra day. They used to call it The B but now it's B and pretty soon it'll just be Buh. |
| 5:35
| They have all night to make sure that last break and song runs on time. Phil Collins needs to be over at 5:30. But Steve's sitting waiting 3 minutes for that song to end. He'd rather just let Buzz play harmonica for 3 minutes. |
| 5:36
| Speaking of harmonica, Steve's been listening to this Tony Joe White song that features a harmonica. Tony said he doesn't care what people in the music industry think, they're always trying to mix down the harmonica. |
| 5:37
| In fact, Steve's going to play that Tony Joe White song because Todd's not here and the people down at Jack have all night to make sure that break runs on time and they can't do it. |
| 5:38
| There's someone who works overnights at The B and she's pretty cute but whenever Steve sees her in the elevator bank she ignores him. Hello, legend in the elevator bank! How about a curtsy or a "Your majesty"? |
| 5:39
| Someone was monkeying around with Steve's keyboard. Was it Pete or Jim? who ran the Best of yesterday? Someone from Jack ran it from downstairs. Steve might have actually thrown his keyboard on Friday while recording the live reads for yesterday. |
| 5:40
| Steve has to work extra hard to take a day off. Meanwhile Todd takes an extra day this weekend because he doesn't like to travel on a busy holiday. He was only out in Montana to turn the AC on in his house and dewinterize the place. |
| 5:41
| Is it really hot in the studio or is it just Steve? He's wearing the new sweatshirt that he bought at the Huntington Beach Surf Shop in California. He was out on his parents boat and he needed a sweatshirt. The store is right on Warner and PCH, across from a sweet Jack in the Box. |
| 5:42
| Steve forgot his parents never actually take their boat out. His dad says it's a lot of work, which it is. |
| 5:43
| Steve's sweatshirt is a Hurley and it has that writing that makes you think he might be in a gang. It's also reversible bro. Buzz thinks it's more of a floral gang, it's rococo or perhaps baroque. Steve's going with a street gang look, like he grew up on the streets of Chicago. Tony Fitzpatrick claims he grew up on the streets of Chicago but really he grew up in Lombard. |
| 5:45
| After hanging out on the boat Steve and his parents went to a restaurant that you can drive your boat to. But they didn't drive their boat there. Steve got a burger. |
| 5:46
| Steve didn't need the sweatshirt on the boat but he wore it anyway. He also wore it to the Dodgers game on Sunday but it was too hot so he took it off. He's pretty sure he sat next to one of the guys from Los Lobos. |
| 5:47
| It seemed like he was pretending to not want to be noticed but really he wanted to be noticed. He was wearing a giant leather cowboy hat, a fringe jacket and rings all over his fingers. At first Steve thought it was Sinbad. |
| 5:48
| Of course Steve loves premium seating and Pat Dahl has some sort of scam where he enters a code at Ticketmaster.com and gets everything for half price. |
| 5:49
| The seats at Dodger Stadium that are comparable to the Scout Seats are $40 more, are on the first base line, have a crummy buffet and you have to pay for drinks. The seats right behind home plate are $650. That better include some sort of oral sex, during the game. |
| 5:50
| The seats grouped together in fours with a table. There was a kid in front of Steve playing with a train set on his table and he kept standing up. The kid might have been retarded and part of a Make-a-Wish thing so Steve couldn't pull the trigger. Steve telling him to sit down is probably not part of the wish. |
| 5:51
| Is it too late for Steve to play the Tony Joe White song? He should probably take a break first. Tony's coming in on June 9th, a Blue Monday. Tony is very cool, he's like Elvis without Dr. Nick. |
| 5:57
| Alright Steve's got that Tony Joe White song, it's a blues song and today is Blue Monday. And just for the record Tony sings "Same old ship". |
| 5:58
| Pete just told Steve, in his headphones, that it's Tuesday. What did he say about not saying stuff in his headphones? Pete just wanted to slip it in there. Steve said it was Monday 10 minutes ago, why didn't he correct him before that? |
| 5:59
| Buzz heard him say Monday and he actually believed it. So it's Blue Tuesday and Steve's going to play the song anyway because Tony's coming in soon. |
| 6:00
| It's a good song though, there's some good guitar work and it mentions how Tony knew Lightnin' Hopkins. Didn't Buzz know him too? They actually had a beer together, a Budweiser. |
| 6:01
| Todd won't really care if Steve plays this song. At this point, based on the success of the morning show, Todd probably trusts Steve enough. Now he just likes to come in for post-show meetings and talk about what he's going to wear the next day. Steve and Todd are having a bromance actually. They went to the Sox game last Thursday and had a great time. |
| 6:02
| Song: Rebellion, Tony Joe White |
| 6:06
| Uh huh, yeah. That's Tony's Crucifixion Steaks, his rebellious song. When Tony comes here on the 9th of June Steve and Buzz will have to jam on that with him. |
| 6:07
| Steve calls up to the office. Stephanie is sweet on Tony Joe's son, Jody. It's actually Joe D. White. He just got a new puppy which is a total scam. You get a photo of a puppy and show the picture to chicks when you're out of town. |
| 6:08
| Steve's not implying that anything happened though. Stephanie's just sweet on Tony's son, he's good looking. |
| 6:09
| Was Stephanie tracking Steve's flight yesterday to make sure it landed OK? Nothing happened but Steve did get yelled at by Janet at the airport. |
| 6:10
| Steve likes to sit in the bulkhead and there's no overhead so he has to make sure he gets his carry-on stowed properly. So Janet yelled at him for that. |
| 6:11
| She also yelled at him for trying to get to the front of the line to get on the plane. If he could he'd even get on ahead of the people in wheelchairs. They're too slow! So Steve got yelled at for that too. |
| 6:12
| Steve and Buzz could definitely jam on that song with Tony so maybe Stephanie can work it out. It'll probably be a 20 minute jam at least. |
| 6:13
| Alright it's week number 3 of the R. Kelly trial. Joining us now from the court house at 26th and California is Brendan Grizeely. There's not much happening at the court house now, since it's 6 in the morning. |
| 6:14
| Brendan's the only person who's there now although usually the BBC guy is also there. Not much has happened since Thursday other than the Jim DeRogatis hearing. The Sun-Times lawyers have until Thursday to appeal |
| 6:15
| The issue is whether or not it's a First Amendment issue. If he made a copy of the video and showed it to witnesses, he could be charged with tampering and distributing child pornography. |
| 6:16
| If Steve were Jim he'd pack a toothbrush. Someone's going to have to go down for this, it might as well be the pimply white guy who's a frustrated drummer. |
| 6:17
| Steve finally figured out why R is wearing the corn rows everyday. The guy in the tape doesn't have corn rows. That's a pretty smart legal team. You've got Mark Martin and Ed Genson. Mark is not the guy who does TV commercials, that's Erik A. Martin, Steve's attorney. And his financial advisor is Peter Francis Geraci. |
| 6:23
| Live read: Walter E. Smithe |
| 6:24
| There was a cover story about Walter E. Smithe in the Sun-Times and Daily Herald last week. Buzz did not see them, even though the Sun-Times is his paper of record. He calls it the Great Smudged Lady. |
| 6:25
| The Smithe brothers have a new promotion that ties in with the Sex and the City movie. If Steve were them he'd go more with Big and less with the girls. They're not Dolce & Gabana dresses or Manohlo shoes though. Steve pronounced both of those brands correctly because he was just in Beverly HIlls, or Beaverly Hills as he calls it. |
| 6:26
| The Smithe Brothers are also giving out their own rebates in the form of scratch-off cards. Steve and Buzz did not qualify for the economic stimulus checks, which is good and bad. In protest Steve burned $600 but it was just a check he wrote. |
| 6:27
| Alright time for the web poll. Friday's question was "Do you want to be baptized in Vegan Land like Oprah?" Steve doesn't even remember what that means but 75% of the people said no. |
| 6:28
| It was something about her going vegan with a chef. Who even cares about her? Buzz saw a story over the weekend about how all her ratings are slipping. |
| 6:29
| ABC didn't renew that show of hers where contestants dole out charity to needy people and are then criticized for how they do it. |
| 6:30
| Today's web poll question is "Would Bill Clinton make a good First Lady?" Buzz always feels better when Bill is around. Can Buzz tell Bill about that time on the airplane? It was under a blanket right? |
| 6:31
| Has Buzz ever heard about the time when Bill was on an airplane feeling up a flight attendants while Hillary was sleeping? Buzz missed that story. The flight attendant reported it during one of BIll's campaigns. |
| 6:32
| Alright, 15 Questions with Bill Clinton, the first one is "Has it been harder to campaign for Hillary?" Bill says it's easier for him. |
| 6:33
| Bill says the second best thing that's happened is Chelsea's emergence. It just means Bill gets to be out on his own, gettin' laid. |
| 6:34
| The most amazing thing to Bill is Hillary's ability to endure in the face of all the blows that have been rained on her. That's an unfortunate choice of words. |
| 6:35
| The next question is "How often do you talk to Hillary during the day?" She probably makes him check in 3 times a day. He got in the habit of not being an emailer because New Gingrich wanted to subpoena every email ever written. |
| 6:36
| Bill has called the press coverage biased against Hillary. He thinks people in the media are more in Obama's demographic. They need a feeling more than they perceive they need a President. Was Bill drunk when he gave these answers? |
| 6:37
| Bill wasn't surprised when Oprah backed Obama because she's from Chicago. She was never going to be for anybody but him. That seems dismissive of people in Chicago. |
| 6:38
| A lot of people say the race is over but Hillary keeps going because she wants to see every vote counted. And they're still trying to get the Florida and Michigan votes counted, even though they said at first that they wouldn't count. They're the Clintons, that's how they roll. |
| 6:39
| Everywhere Obama goes there are those posters that say "Change". It reminds Steve of that movie They Live with Roddy Roddy Piper. It's very Orwellian. |
| 6:40
| When asked what they'd do if Obama was the nominee and what's they do to unite the party, Bill says that no one from there camp has said this election has divided the party. That's sort of a non-answer. |
| 6:41
| Personally, Bill doesn't know Obama but he thinks he's talented. There are similarities in Bill and Barack's childhoods. But he also thinks it's better to have made a lot of decisions before you get to be President. What decisions has Hillary made? She was only the First Lady! |
| 6:42
| Some have charged that Bill and Hillary have played the race card but Bill says he's not responsible for what other people think. The only thing Bill regrets is comments he made late at night when he was tired. |
| 6:43
| When Bill was tired he was not as precise as he should have been or seemed angrier than he was. Of course when you're tired the real you probably comes out. |
| 6:44
| Bill and Hillary always respected Chelsea's desire to appear enough in public so people would know she really loved her mom and supported her. After Iowa though she realized her mother lost because she didn't have the young voters. |
| 6:45
| She told her employer that she needed to be let go or given a leave of absence because she couldn't let her mother go down like this. That's another unfortunate choice of words. |
| 6:46
| These are some really stupid questions in People and Bill did his best to not answer them. The reporter is probably hot which is how you get to Bill. |
| 6:51
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:52
| Caller Dave is from Southern California and is familiar with the Jack-in-the-Box on Warner and PCH. They used to have a hamburger, taco and fries for 99¢. |
| 6:53
| Steve picked up a sweatshirt at the Huntington Beach Surf Shop, where they called him dude and bro. |
| 6:54
| Steve's 2XL is very tight though, like how Jim and Pete wear tight t-shirts that run small. Pete wears a large but it's so tight that it could be a small. |
| 6:55
| Steve had to stretch his sweatshirt out though. The guys in the surf shop could tell Steve was one of those old surfer dudes. |
| 6:56
| Then Steve and his parents went to Schooner or Later of burgers. There's a place you can dock your boat but his dad didn't want to. |
| 6:57
| Dave recommends the Schultzie's Mess the next time here's there, it's a chili and egg dish. Steve's parents say they go there all the time but didn't know anything on the menu. He had a burger with avocado. |
| 6:58
| Then Steve drove through Seal Beach where he grew up, past the Jack-in-the-Box where Steve once snuck out to get onion rings. His first wife had him on a diet at the time. |
| 6:59
| Steve didn't like seeing all the Hollywood jerks from back east who have invaded Huntington. It's all dudes wearing capri pants and Capizzio shoes. And they look at you like you don't know what you're doing. |
| 7:00
| None of them have any good ideas either, they just know people are wait around for a break. Then Steve saw Keifer Sutherland, who's the size of Adam. He can't watch 24 any more after seeing that. |
| 7:01
| It also irritated Steve that he could have gone to the birthplace of the fish taco but instead they went to Schooner or Later. Jack-in-the-Box would have been fine too. |
| 7:02
| Steve liked being called dude or bro in a surf shop because he can throw down with So Cal. Most of the guys in those surf shops are born and bred in Southern California. |
| 7:03
| News with Buzz |
| 7:04
| Memorial Day was yesterday of course. Illinois veterans and familiars of soldiers who were killed gathered at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Chicago to speak out against the war in Iraq. |
| 7:05
| The group marked the human cost of the war by displaying a pair of boots for every Illinois soldier who has died in Iraq. Isn't this something they should do on a day other than Memorial Day? |
| 7:06
| Comments made by Liz Trotta of Fox News referred to Barack Obama as Osama and then followed up with some grim humor. She was very sorry for her comments. The apology just makes it worse. Did Hillary pay this woman to take the heat off of her? |
| 7:07
| A few days after being diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, Senator Ted Kennedy was out on his yacht sailing in the annual Faigawi Regatta. He won his division, Guys with Brain Tumors. |
| 7:08
| Fresh images sent back by NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander showed that most instruments were in working order. The landscape looked grim though. |
| 7:09
| Academy Award winning director Sydney Pollack has died. He won 2 Oscars for Out of Africa, which Buzz didn't like. He made it right after one of Buzz's favorite movies Three Days of the Condor. |
| 7:10
| Buzz actually walked out of Out of Africa. Steve's not one to walk out on movies although on the plane yesterday he wanted to walk out on The Bucket List. That wouldn't have ended good for him or anyone else on the plane. |
| 7:11
| Strong wins forced the postponement of a record-setting jump from a balloon. A French parachutist planned to jump from a balloon 25 miles above the earth's surface. He was going to attempt another jump today but his balloon left without him. Mon dieu! |
| 7:12
| Luckily he has more balloons. He sounds like the French version of that idiot Steve Fossett. Does he have 99 balloons? Steve's looking for a sample of that song but none of them feature the girl singing. Luckily will play it on Jack FM. |
| 7:13
| The alternative to this song is 99 Dead Baboons. Is that one of Buzz's songs? Buzz has some more news but Steve's going to play the song first. We're like MTV, we've got news and music together. |
| 7:14
| Song: 99 Red Balloons, Nena |
| 7:17
| Caller Jim wanted to jog Buzz's memory, he saw Nena with Buzz in Germany. Steve can't tell what look Buzz is giving him. Is it the "Dude, Guy Code!" look? |
| 7:18
| Buzz has been to Germany but he doesn't remember seeing Nena. It was at Olympic Stadium. Jim has photographs to prove it but he's in his car. Steve and Buzz are also in their cars. |
| 7:19
| Buzz remembers being there with Johnny B for Oktoberfest but he's never seen Nena. Steve can't believe he went out with a listener. He must have been hammered! |
| 7:20
| Jim also spent some time with Steve on a Vegas trip, they saw some special effects show with David Cassidy. Is Jim a stalker? |
| 7:21
| Steve sat up in a balcony with Janet and Jim and an unnamed companion. Now he's just making stuff up. Before he wasn't when he was talking about Buzz. |
| 7:22
| If Buzz saw Nena he would remember. Steve does remember seeing that show in Vegas but he can't remember if he was with Janet. It sounds like they had a great time though. |
| 7:23
| Blood ran on the streets of Harlem and Chicago last night. 8 people were shot in Harlem last night and some residents have doubts about their safety. |
| 7:24
| In Chicago the homicide rate remains on the ride. 1 person was killed and 3 were injured just last night. It's a long weekend, people get a buzz on, sometimes barbecues go bad. |
| 7:25
| Some people spent their Memorial Day weekend searching for evidence of Stacy Peterson. Her husband Drew has been named a suspect in her disappearance. |
| 7:26
| Some searchers used a new boat, the Stacy Ann, which was purchased through fundraising efforts. What kind of boat? Is it one with those barstools on it for bass fishing? Can Drew use it? |
| 7:27
| Former Cubs pitcher Geremi Gonzalez was killed over the weekend by a lightning strike in Venezuela. |
| 7:28
| The soundtrack of Sex and the City arrives in stores today. OH MY GOD! |
| 7:29
| Steve's looking at a photo of the boat, it does look like a bass fishing boat. They don't say what kind of boat it is though. It seems like they've made a commitment to finding her in the water though. |
| 7:30
| Stacy loved the water but she was not a good swimmer. Same goes for Kathleen Savio. |
| 7:36
| Steve liked Sydney Pollack as an actor too. In Tootsie he played Dustin Hoffman's agent. They argued a lot off-screen so Dustin had the idea to put that in the movie. |
| 7:37
| Joining us now on the line from our headquarters in Racine, Wisconsin is Mark Czerniec. The Stacy Ann is a 2008 Tracker Grizzly. It runs for $1949 although it seems like they might have customized it a bit. |
| 7:38
| It looks like it could be a hunting and fishing boat. It's a rugged, short transom jon, whatever that is. |
| 7:39
| Also on the blog Mark runs-which features porn, news, ideas for breakfast and information about angels among us-is something from FindStacyPeterson.com |
| 7:40
| There's a photo gallery of people looking for Stacy. There seem to be a lot of blue barrels, are they finding a lot of them? |
| 7:41
| They've found over 30 barrels after being told by authorities to be looking for them. What lake are they on? It looks very pastoral. Hopefully they're recycling those barrels. |
| 7:42
| Does Buzz want to look for her today, try to collect on that reward? If the sun comes out, Buzz will go. He's a fairweather searcher, as is Steve. |
| 7:43
| When Steve got to LA on Friday he went to the Admiral's Club to check his email. They also have a nicer bathroom. Steve had one from Rod Zimmerman, General Manager of CBS in Chicago, who had been contacted by Sharon Bychowski. |
| 7:44
| Steve had previously been contacted by a friend of hers saying that she was nice and he shouldn't make fun of her. Steve's not making fun of her, Drew is. But it seemed hard to explain all that on an iPhone. |
| 7:45
| It was mean-spirited of Rod to send that to Steve at the beginning of a 3-day-weekend, just to get it off his chest. Steve likes what Sharon is doing with the signs and the Stacy garden. It was very surreal getting an email like this though. He told Rod he'd pass it along to Drew. |
| 7:46
| Drew has certain feelings about Sharon because they're enemies. He's a jokester but they're still enemies. Steve's the only one who remembers the horrors she had to endure when Drew had her garage door opener. |
| 7:47
| A lot of things are blowing over in Racine, it's very windy because it's going to get cold. For those of you who don't watch the channel 5 news, Buzz learned last night that we suffered a Pneumonia Front last night. That was Ginger Zee right? |
| 7:48
| People keep sending Steve emails that Ginger is always in workout clothes on the weekend news. How about some video captures people?! You can't get pneumonia from the weather anyway. |
| 7:49
| It is a real weather term though, it occurs when the temperature drops 16º or more in an hour, which happened last night. Steve might have pneumonia from the people coughing on his plane yesterday. Shouldn't they put those people in a bubble if they cough more than once? |
| 7:50
| Alright we now go back to our ongoing coverage of the R. Kelly trial with Brendan Greeley. He's awaiting day 4 of testimony and the King of R & B, who should be there in about 2 hours. |
| 7:51
| Jim DeRogatis just wrote an article about how Usher has replaced R. Kelly as the King of R & B. The timing on that is very suspicious. If Steve were DeRo he'd be laying low right now. |
| 7:52
| Jim feels Kelly should relinquish the crown of King of R & B, which he's had since the 90s. His sexually obsessed lyrics had become ludicrous long before the midget got Trapped in the Closet. Midget?! DeRogatis is the midget, he looks like a Narnian. |
| 7:53
| Steve did see Usher on SNL, it seems like he's ripping off Prince. It seems like DeRo should be writing an article about something else though. |
| 7:54
| Brendan just saw the Hair Braider video, the girl is very hot. Steve's going to find it right now. |
| 7:55
| Steve was looking online at the Tribune and there's a sketch from the new artist. Brendan's are just as good as whoever is doing the new one. He might have influenced the style of all courtroom sketch artists. |
| 7:56
| Over the weekend Buzz had visions of a very successful auction of Brendan's sketches, for charity. Charity?! Steve's favorite recent sketch is the one of R. Kelly and his defense team. |
| 7:57
| The Tribune also lists 3 key moments for the prosecution and the defense so far. The first top moment for the prosecution is the testimony of Simha "Punky" Jamison. She identified the female on the tape as her friend and estimates she was 13 or 14 at the time. Her occasional quips are also drawing laughs from in the courtroom. |
| 7:58
| The second moment is three Oak Park parents identifying the female in the video as their daughters' former friend. The defense tries to pain them as hysterical rumormongers who whipped themselves into a suburban frenzy. As a suburban resident, Steve objects to that. |
| 7:59
| The third moment is the testimony of Stephanie "Sparkle" Edwards. She held her ground under a full-scale attack by the defense who claims she has an ax to grind. |
| 8:00
| The first top moment for the defense is the dismissed juror. A white woman says she was raped and asks to be excused for financial reasons. The woman is replaced by a man who's uncle has been convicted of child pornography. |
| 8:01
| The second moment is Sam Adam Jr. who has provided some of his team's best moments. |
| 8:02
| The third moment is the mole. The man in the video doesn't have one but R. Kelly does. |
| 8:03
| Alright time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Today Steve and Buzz are having Cheesy Beef Burritos. How can this only be 89¢! |
| 8:04
| One thing that hasn't been reported is from Thursday. A bunch of kids were screaming for R as he went into the courtroom. He turned around and gave a peace sign and a sign of acknowledgement. It's the first time he's really done that outside the courtroom. |
| 8:05
| Matt and Brendan will be doing their webcast at some point today. Brendan might be on the phone because he's on standby to get into court again. |
| 8:06
| If he gets into court he'll call in to the show during his lunch break, sitting in his mom's car with the seat fully reclined. He hand washed it yesterday so hopefully the prisoner's will notice it. They'd probably love to watch him wash his car. |
| 8:07
| Once again, R. Kelly should do 6 months just for Trapped in the Closet and now let's add on another 6 months for Hair Braider. |
| 8:15
| Live read: National City |
| 8:16
| Steve saw something over the weekend that irritated him and he'd like to pass it along to Buzz. |
| 8:17
| Online ministers who help friends get hitched often get hooked on that feeling. James Anderson had a close friend ask him to perform his wedding. He joined the Universal Life Church. |
| 8:18
| Steve's been a member of that church since the early 80s. He's married over 50 couples and as far as Steve knows only one couple got divorced. |
| 8:19
| Ministers include law clerks, DJs and a well-know local broadcast journalist. Steve likes John but he's ripping him off here. John's on his second ceremony, that's nothing. Steve's married 50 couples! |
| 8:20
| Steve didn't keep records of the people he's married but he knows the counties that he's married people in here in Illinois and in Nevada and Hawaii. As far as he knows the only couple that didn't make it were Raggedy Anne and Andy from a Halloween Breakfast Club. |
| 8:21
| Caller Kathy's sister was married by Steve in Hawaii. Her and her husband are now divorced. Steve still thinks he's ahead of the average for marriages though. |
| 8:22
| Kathy doesn't remember how long ago it was but her niece is 8 years old so it has to be at least that long. Steve's pretty sure it was before he stopped drinking. |
| 8:30
| Steve just wants to say that he was a Universal Life Minister first. He doesn't usually make a big deal out of stuff like this though. It's the same thing with the on-air vasectomy. Except most other radio guys didn't want to have a vasectomy so they got a listener to do it. |
| 8:31
| When that German guy was here interviewing Steve about Disco Demolition he mentioned D.R.E.A.D. which was a group started by a guy who Steve used to know. It stood for Detroit Rockers Earnestly Against Disco and they only started it after Disco Demolition. |
| 8:32
| And Howard was doing college radio in Detroit when Steve was here. But you sound crazy when you point stuff out like that. |
| 8:33
| Alright Peanut Butter is on the phone. He just got a new TV from The Little Guys. He thought he was replacing his 42 incher with a 50 incher. In reality he had a 37 incher. What else has he lied about?! |
| 8:34
| Pat felt like the biggest idiot, he was living a TV lie. Pat told his buddy the story and he knew it was a 37 incher but he never said anything. Pat's like Michael Scott on The Office when he has a dinner party. |
| 8:35
| Pat went with a Hitachi, isn't that the official TV of Major League Baseball? It's the official TV of Pat's basement. He's working on a surround system now. It took Buzz 10 years to get a surround system, Pat shouldn't make the same mistake. |
| 8:36
| Pat's better off doing it now while the family is really digging the new TV. Everything is so much better with surround. |
| 8:37
| Had some good baseball over the weekend. Both the Cubs and Sox came back with wins yesterday. Since 1995 65% of the teams in first place on Memorial Day weekend made the playoffs. |
| 8:38
| Actually it wasn't great baseball for Chicago over the weekend. The Sox did win on Sunday thanks to Carlos Quentin. At some point someone else will have to step up and carry the load though, he can't do it all himself. |
| 8:40
| Steve was going to contact the Sox and offer to be Konerko's slumpbuster. That guys is like 2 for 41 or something. At least on Friday he admitted that he had a thumb injury. |
| 8:41
| The Cubs won yesterday but lost 2 of 3 in Pittsburgh, they had 2 blown saves. Voody blew it on Saturday but on Sunday Soriano lost a fly ball in the sun that would have ended the game. |
| 8:42
| You pay Soriano $136 million but now everyone knows he's a defensive liability in left field. So people are wondering if he should be replaced late in the games. Lou is refusing to do it. |
| 8:43
| Pat has some audio from Uncle Lou yesterday, talking about Daryle Ward getting healthy. He was trying to say he was getting svelte but it didn't come out that way. |
| 8:44
| Pete didn't cue up the CD, he just brought it in and laid it on the desk. We don't cue up? Isn't that standard? That's what Jim does. |
| 8:45
| Lou was trying to say Ward looked svelte but he's saying swelte. He's trying to say he lost some weight but hasn't been playing much baseball lately. |
| 8:46
| Joakim Noah was arrested over the weekend. Originally it was for having an open container. But then someone forgot to eat their pot on the way to the police station. |
| 8:47
| The most troubling thing to Buzz is that they found the pot in a cigarette pack. If Buzz were the Bulls he'd be more concerned about his smoking habit, at least from a training standpoint. |
| 8:48
| He was arrested down in Gainesville where he went to college. You'd think after back-to-back championships he'd be able to do whatever he wanted to down there. The pot charge will probably be a misdemeanor. |
| 8:49
| There's a reason why the NBA doesn't test for marijuana, many of them seem to get high. Steve still doesn't get why pot is illegal. Neither does Ricky Williams. When Steve was out in California every strip mall has a medical marijuana place. |
| 8:50
| Steve went to the Dodgers game over the weekend. It was good to go back but their fans are idiots. There are beach balls, they're doing the wave during a crucial point in the game and they're chanting "Let's go Dodgers" when they're on defense. They're complete idiots. |
| 8:51
| The funniest thing is they had this kid down the first base line who's job it was to warm up with the left fielder. He couldn't throw though, Steve has no idea where they got him from. |
| 8:52
| Steve sat in the section that was comparable to the Scout Seats and it was bad. Not only is it more fun to go to a game here but the amenities we have here, at both parks, far outweigh what they have at Dodgers Stadium. |
| 8:53
| The buffet was not good. It was stuck in the corner, there were two bowls of Greek salad and an overcooked ham and a station for hot dogs. The drinks weren't even included in the price either! |
| 8:54
| The Scout Seats including parking, a great buffet, all-you-can-drink, hot dogs and you can sit behind home plate. The Dodgers seats are $40 more and they don't even have people waiting on you! |
| 8:55
| The seats behind home plate are $600. Steve's not that interested in seeing the Dodgers play the Cardinals. |
| 8:56
| The Dodgers do have the best parking but Steve has to say that the Wrigley and U.S. Cellular experiences are much better. And Dodger Stadium is the ballpark of Steve's youth. |
| 8:57
| The Dodgers fans sort of don't have a clue though which makes it not as fun. What's a baseball player to people who live in Hollywood though? When Steve was a kid, before all the New York showbiz people moved to LA, the guys on the Dodgers were stars. Don Drysdale and Sandy Koufax were on Mr. Ed! |
| 8:58
| They can't support an NFL team in LA so Pat's not surprised. They all seem like boneheads to Steve. Their idea of tailgating is getting In-and-Out burger and eating it in their cars. |
| 9:02
| Did Alfonso Soriano have sunglasses on when he dropped that fly ball? He had sunglasses but he may have not flipped them down. That's the key though isn't it? If you don't put them over your eyes you're not going to get the protection from the sun that you need. |
| 9:03
| Steve has to point out that when he said Pete didn't cue up the CD for the sports, he in fact did. It was Steve's fault but he took one for the team. Hopefully Adam was listening to that. |
| 9:04
| Steve was trying to call Adam but he accidentally called Jim. He doesn't want to talk to Jim. Jim does take one for the team though. He should make Adam come in to his office. |
| 9:05
| Adam heard Pete taking one for the team. Doesn't it make him want to do that too? Imagine what it'll feel like. |
| 9:06
| Adam's back in his hole now. Is Jim teaching Adam how to take one for the team? The philosophy around here is to make Steve look good and if there's any left over make Buzz look good as well. |
| 9:07
| Alright we now go back to our ongoing coverage of the R. Kelly trial. The woman who allegedly had a three way with R. Kelly and the underage girl is going to testify today. |
| 9:08
| Buzz read that she was testifying tomorrow. This is why we have a court reporter. No offense to Buzz and his news gathering though. |
| 9:09
| It just so happens that we have the lyrics to Double Up, which could be about the alleged three-way. Bill Kurtis is going to read them now. What happened to his spiritual side? Does that only come out when he's in trouble? |
| 9:10
| He did have that Virginia Tech song, Risin' Up, that was pretty spiritual. Is Brendan sure that it's about Virginia Tech? |
| 9:11
| Buzz wished these things rhymed. They don't have to rhyme, it's hip-hop. Dubs mean doubles right? Apparently, according to the video, he does like it when they dance. |
| 9:12
| Puff some dro, Bill doesn't know what that means. The kids have left Buzz in the dirt here. |
| 9:13
| Steady poppin' bub, is that bubbly? Cristal perhaps? Brendan doesn't know anything about this crap does he? He pretends to know but he doesn't. |
| 9:14
| The girl's who's testifying, is she the first cousin of someone? That's what they're saying in the song. |
| 9:15
| A 40-40, is that a 40 ouncer or a gun? Bill's going to stop asking Brendan if he doesn't have any answers. Some of this stuff Brendan knows and some of it is beyond even him. |
| 9:16
| R. Kelly is one weird dude though, very very weird. He wants one girl massaging his toes and one braiding his hair. Brendan thinks it's a fantasy for everyone out there. |
| 9:17
| We're waiting for someone named Marquette to call in, he's got some information on some of the stuff in this song. Bill assumes from the fake French name that he's a black man. |
| 9:18
| Brendan's waiting at the courthouse for the trial to begin but R. Kelly probably won't show up until 11 am. So he's got an hour and 40 minutes and we're only one for another 40 minutes. |
| 9:19
| Caller Marquette is back on the phone. First of all, suicide doors are car doors that open away from each other. So the front door opens one way and the back door opens the other way. |
| 9:20
| Puff some dro means weed, it's a certain kind of weed. Probably hydroponic right? Bill is learning so much. Buzz chalks that up to his journalistic instincts. |
| 9:27
| The good news is that R. Kelly doesn't seem to be full of himself at all. Buzz is learning so much about R. Kelly during this trial. |
| 9:28
| Live read: Seattle Sutton |
| 9:29
| Alright time for a Mailbag, brought to you by 7-Up. |
| 9:30
| The first emailer owns Gault Airport. That'll get your attention even though Steve doesn't know where it is. It's near Woodstock and they've been having concerts there for the last few years. |
| 9:31
| Last summer they had Foreigner, Canned Heat and Iron Butterfly for a Summer of Love series. They've also had Blue Oyster Cult and Rare Earth. |
| 9:32
| Buzz hates Rare Earth. Steve's not really a fan either. This year they're doing Chicks Rule featuring all-girl bands. They've booked a local band called Chick Fight, as well as Juliette Lewis' band. That's right up Buzz's alley. |
| 9:33
| The headliner will be The Donnas, which he was told Steve is a fan of. Steve didn't know he was a fan, he's not even sure who they are. |
| 9:34
| Steve has some of their music on his iTunes though. It sounds like something he might like, one of them is singing about her d-cup. Or did she say tea cup? |
| 9:35
| Pete knows The Donnas but it sounds like he disapproves of them. He knows a few of their songs like the Dancing With Myself cover. |
| 9:36
| Does Steve like The Donnas? Does he want to go to Gault Airport and see them? |
| 9:37
| Steve calls up to the office, he thought Stephanie was always singing that song about the d-cup. It is about a d-cup right? What size does Stephanie wear? |
| 9:38
| Stephanie doesn't have to answer that, it would be harassment. It's just that it was her birthday last week and maybe next year Steve would want to get her something more personal that screams "takes me to court!" |
| 9:39
| This is the second time today that Steve called Stephanie and made her blush. She can just go ahead and file the lawsuit, she should call Ron for the forms and just give him a fair price. It's a multiple choice form. |
| 9:40
| Alright we're going to do the news after this break but before that, Steve had a question for Pete or "Zippy" as he's known around town. This just in, or rather from over the weekend, there was a fire at PJ Clarke's on State Street on Saturday. |
| 9:41
| A crowd was seen outside the establishment holding mini-cheeseburgers. No one was injured though. So Catman's OK? Because isn't PJ Clarke's where they hang out? |
| 9:42
| Pete prefers the PJ Clarke's that's close to here but Pat does go to that one. He wasn't there on Saturday though. That's good because you don't need a barbecued wingman. Although in their situation it seems like Pete is the wingman. |
| 9:43
| Pete's not sure if he was there on Saturday though. He left a message for him and then got a message in return. What is Catman's voicemail message like? Is it "Hey this is Catman, I can't get to the phone right now because I'm out nailing your girlfriend or wife or both. I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done nailing your mom...beeeeeeeeeeeep" |
| 9:49
| That Neil Patrick Harris character on How I Met Your Mother is based on Catman. Every time Pete watches that show he thinks of Catman. And Pete is Ted. Who's the big dopey guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall? They just have a twosome, or a double team as Catman calls it. High five zippy! Reach across the Amazon. |
| 9:50
| Alright, we now go back to our coverage of the R. Kelly trial. R has not shown up but he should be here shortly. The excitement is back as the trial starts up again. |
| 9:51
| Brendan hasn't heard anything else about who's testifying today. He still just has the rumor about the alleged three-way girl. Brendan still doesn't know if he's going in though. |
| 9:52
| Steve knows we have some news to do but he needs to make one more call. He's calling back to Stephanie, this a nonsexual call. It's the first one of the day! |
| 9:53
| Steve played Guitar Hero over the weekend for the first time. Steve's dream now is to have a big screen TV in the office with videogames hooked up to it. Then we could have videogame tournaments. |
| 9:54
| Pete doesn't play the Guitar Hero. It's fun but quite maddening. Steve calls down to the weather center. Jim has also played the Guitar Hero. It's fun but quite maddening. Jim was just reading an article about the guy who does the music for the game. Steve read that same article in American Way over the weekend. It was the issue with Jack Black on the cover. |
| 9:55
| Stephanie likes the idea. Did Steve mention they'd be playing in their underpants? She might as well get another form from Ron and file another lawsuit. It's multiple choice as Buzz said earlier. |
| 9:56
| Brendan is back on the phone, R. Kelly hasn't arrived but he just saw Joel Brodsky. He was just there for another case but says hello. |
| 9:57
| Does Buzz have any news? Well John McCain has invited Barack Obama to come to Iraq with him. Any reason? Or does he just think it'll be fun? |
| 9:58
| The French parachutist who was attempting to break the world record for a free fall lost his balloon. It took off without him. |
| 9:59
| This just in Buzz, the U.S. Supreme Court has rejected George Ryan's latest appeal. He must be hoppin' mad. |
| 10:00
| Jimmy Carter says Israel has over 50 nuclear warheads. Is he trying to answer a Trivial Pursuit question? |
| 10:01
| Who cares what Jimmy Carter says he gave away the Panama Canal! Why would you do that?! |
