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| 5:32
| When Ben Gay hears this music it reminds him of his time as a male figure skater. Buzz wasn't aware of that time in his life. |
| 5:33
| Ben mentored Brian Boitano and he himself was mentored by Dick Button. He knows why he's called that but he can't say why. |
| 5:34
| Ben is here because he's doing sports later today. He just wants to get some shut eye now though. He's hoping to sneak into Steve's office to sleep. The sun is rising over the lake right now. |
| 5:35
| Buzz actually prefers to come to work when it's dark but it was light out today. That's kind of depressing. Ben might go down to the lake and do some tai chi as well. |
| 5:36
| Steve accidentally made it too warm in the studio. He does this everyday and he's not sure why. It seems so cold when he gets in the studio so he turns it up. He's like Goldilocks with the temperature. |
| 5:37
| The thermostat is faulty though so a slight adjustment is a huge temperature change. And they have a weird set-up in this building. They pump cold air in and you have to turn the heat up so you don't freeze to death. But if you turn it up too high flames come out of the registers. |
| 5:38
| Steve doesn't mean to start the show off lisping but when he sees the sunrise it seems like he should. He can see it from his Green Room window and it looks like it's going to be sunny today. We could use some sun right? |
| 5:39
| Steve went out walking yesterday and he's pretty sure it was sunny. He can't remember anything. He did remember yesterday being on Seattle Sutton for most of the day, until he made himself two big pieces of toast with butter and then had two novelty ice cream bars. |
| 5:40
| If Steve had a straight razor he would have slit his throat this morning after weighing himself. But then he went to Dunkin' Donuts today and got an apple fritter. Although that was just to support Rachael Ray. |
| 5:41
| What the hell is all that about? She's wearing a scarf in some Dunkin' Donuts commercial and people are saying she looks like a terrorist. Then some woman from Fox News is calling for a boycott of Dunkin' Donuts. |
| 5:42
| Steve's pretty sure Rachael Ray is not a terrorist. We need to stop treating our own citizens like terrorists too. If you're going to the airport you might as well show up naked. |
| 5:43
| Before the show started we were playing The Breakup Song by The Greg Kihn Band. Greg is now a morning DJ at KUFX-FM in San Diego. Is that a step down for him? The other option is probably for the band to play festivals like Cream of Wheaton. |
| 5:44
| Mark Czerniec is on the phone, he's not in his bath robe. He's wearing jeans and a flannel shirt. Is that his Kurt Cobain look? It's not a plaid flannel, it has little fly lures on it. So it's Kurt Cobain meets Babe Winkelman. |
| 5:45
| Is Mark a fly fisherman? Steve knows how to do it but he'd probably have someone tie the lure for him. Some people actually like to make the lures themselves, like Buzz's grandfather. Mark doesn't fish but he does wear hip waders sometimes, during sex. |
| 5:46
| Can Mark describe how is morning goes again? Steve's read it on his blog, which he enjoys. Mark wakes up at 4:50 and fires up the computer. Then he tunes in to WBBM-AM. Someone was camped out in their bathroom today when Steve wanted to use it. |
| 5:47
| It's supposed to be for on-air talent only but Steve uses it because he's territorial. He's like Tom Cruise in that one movie where he's grabbing land. You shouldn't be in the bathroom for that long if you're at work unless you're having a breakfast miscarriage. |
| 5:48
| Mark heard the other day that Felicia Middlebrooks had never been to Millennium Park, which surprised him. That doesn't surprise Steve. Steve has been to Millennium Park but he's never walked across that foot bridge. He lives here, why does he want to be a dorky tourist? |
| 5:49
| Steve did see The Bean and check out the reflecting ponds with the big video screens. He remembers wondering why people were letting their kids run around in the reflecting pool. They could get sucked down a drain like that family in Texas. If there aren't numbers on the side and a ladder, don't go in. That's been a long-standing natatory rule. |
| 5:50
| So some lady on Fox News is calling for a Dunkin' Donuts boycott. Should Steve just read this article and then they can chat about it? This says they're Canton-based, is that Massachusetts? This is from The Boston Globe or The Globe as we call it. That's not The Globe from Great Britain though. |
| 5:51
| Dunkin' Donuts has canceled an ad that shows Rachael Ray wearing a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a headdress worn by Arab men. Is that the thing that Arafat wears? He looks like Ringo Starr with a napkin on his head. |
| 5:52
| Some people were so incensed by the ad that they were calling for a Dunkin' Donuts boycott. Who boycotts a donut shop? ‘‘The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad,’’ Michelle Malkin said in her syndicated column. |
| 5:53
| Steve's not clueless, he knew what a keffiyeh was. Buzz always says Steve's clueless though, he said that he makes Johnny B look like a Rhodes Scholar. He makes Kevin Matthews seem like he has a PhD in philosophy. Then he puts his headphones on and pretends he likes Steve. |
| 5:54
| At first the company pooh-poohed the complaints but then realized it was easier to yank the ad. In a statement from the "suits" at Dunkin' Donuts they said that the was no symbolism intended from the scarf. The Boston Globe calls them suits? Mark has noticed that a lot of mainstream media is taking on the tone of the internet. |
| 5:55
| So you can see why Steve had to go in today and get an apple fritter. He gave his Dunkin' Donuts girl a hug too. He could fall for her if she'd just take better care of her nails, they're all chipped. Steve doesn't like chipped anything except occasionally some chipped beef on toast. It reminds him of his army days. |
| 5:56
| So this MIchelle Malkin isn't an Arab or anything right, she's just a crazy white chick? Mark says she's the brunette Anne Coulter. Where do we get these crazy women from? Is it a bad breakup with Kenny Loggins that sends them over to the Conservative side? |
| 5:57
| Mark's pretty sure that Malkin is Filipino. They're just upset that they lost the donut wars to the Indians and the Pakistanis. Has Buzz ever had a donut in India or Pakistan? They're unbelievable! |
| 5:58
| Mark's pretty sure Malkin also boycotts Starbucks because they're too liberal. So it seems like she has nowhere to buy coffee. Steve has the Starbucks article, maybe he should take a break. |
| 5:59
| MIchelle Malkin is pretty hot. Wait, that's a photo of Rachael Ray, no wonder she looks hot. Steve would like for Rachael to be making him dinner while he's doing her, maybe a nice Broccoli Raab. |
| 6:00
| Buzz is looking at the photo of the Rachael Ray ad and the scarf looks inappropriate. It's just a trend, like those Ugg boots. Although Steve's not a fan of those, they're stupid. They were ruined for him when he saw some girls wearing bikinis and Ugg boots in Hawaii. |
| 6:01
| It's just a scarf, it doesn't seem to mean anything. Buzz thinks it means something to Michelle Malkin, who's apparently his new girlfriend. Buzz was the leader of the campus conservatives at University of Miami. |
| 6:02
| Buzz is like our own Alex Keaton. Mark thinks he's wandering pretty close to Art Bell territory. He is crazy as a coot. He sat here for 20 minutes and then decided the scarf Ray was wearing was wrong. |
| 6:09
| OK, back to the Rachael Ray story. Blogger Michelle Malkin called for a boycott of Dunkin' Donuts because of a scarf Rachael Ray is wearing in an online ad. It looks like the head scarf that Arafat used to wear. |
| 6:10
| This other post is from May 5th, 2008 where she called for a boycott of Starbuck's. She's just trying to get free coffee and donuts right? She got hooked on Starbuck's in Seattle more than 10 years ago. Seattle is not the only place you can get Starbuck's. |
| 6:11
| Starbuck's became an occupational necessity and then an unbreakable habit. It's called caffeine baby. She put up with their corporate social responsibility mumbo-jumbo which the company leavened with an occasional bone thrown to Conservatives. It's just coffee! Who cares about the politics of Starbucks? Get a life! |
| 6:12
| David Boaz wrote of the company's ridiculous policy of barring gift card purchasers from customizing personalized cards with the phrase "Laissez Faire." What does that mean? It's French for let it be. |
| 6:13
| Mark remembers that whole thing. Starbucks said that wasn't an acceptable phrase but when someone tried to put "Yes I Can" in Spanish it was accepted. So the gift card censor must be pro-Obama. |
| 6:14
| Then Malkin had a problem with the price. A grande caramel macchiato puts you out $5 which adds up over the weeks. Apparently they don't pay that well at Fox News. |
| 6:15
| Malkin has always liked Dunkin' Donuts coffee better. This was written a few weeks before her Dunkin' boycott. Dunkin' Donuts have always been unapologetic supporters of immigration enforcement so they deserve her business. |
| 6:16
| And a scant 3 weeks later she's boycotting them. She'll have to go 7-11, hopefully their corporate politics are up to her standards. All coffee is good. Mark's been drinking a lot of McDonald's lately but he's not sure what that says about his politics. |
| 6:17
| Mark drinks that coffee where the beans are digested by cats right? That was featured in The Bucket List. Jack Nicholson's character was rich and he liked that coffee but didn't know where it came from. Morgan Freeman was a mechanic but he was smart and knew where the coffee came from. |
| 6:18
| One of the things on the list was to laugh until they cried which they did over the whole coffee thing. They cried as they crossed that off their list. Steve hated that movie, he saw it on the plane and wanted to jump out. |
| 6:19
| Mark would like to just have McDonald's come out of his coffee machine. He doesn't want to go there everyday and they don't open up early enough anyway. McDonald's should deliver, they could make some good money on that. |
| 6:27
| Steve has written articles at Chicago Tribune, he finds it stimulating. It has great atmosphere, especially the ones with fireplaces. |
| 6:28
| There are some people who camp out at Starbucks, talking on their phone really loudly. It also irritates Steve when people get on their cellphones on the plane and talk about stuff he doesn't want to hear about. Can't they just wait until they get off the plane? |
| 6:29
| The cellphone people bug Steve in general. They're talking while shopping, they're talking while driving. Whenever you're driving and behind someone going really slowly they're always on the phone. |
| 6:30
| Live read: Hawk Ford |
| 6:31
| Barack Obama just got a hybrid Ford. They're very hard to get though but before he was driving a huge SUV. |
| 6:32
| Steve gets the feeling that if he lived through the depression he'd think everyone today was a big whiner. Brian Williams was taking emails from people who had to eat hamburgers for Memorial Day when they usually had ribeyes. Stop your complaining! |
| 6:33
| Alright time now to get to our fine court reporter, Brendan Greeley. Did Buzz notice how Steve hit the post on Trapped in the Closet? |
| 6:34
| Buzz did notice it but Brendan just started talking. He needs to let that breathe, it was majestic. And Brendan might need to work on his breathing. Steve got an email from someone saying that they were concerned for Brendan, they thought he might have a misshapen diaphragm because he can only say 5 words at a time. |
| 6:35
| Brendan kept teasing the three-way witness but it still hasn't happen. A defense witness who arrived in town yesterday could turn the prosecution's case upside-down. |
| 6:36
| CBS 2 chief correspondent Jay Levine, the only member of the Levine family still working, says the witness has thrown a monkey wrench into court proceedings. The man rushed to Chicago 12 hours after he surfaced. What kind of knucklehead waits this long to come forward? |
| 6:37
| Court was adjourned at noon yesterday before the woman from Atlanta was able to testify. She was expected to testify that she had a sexual threesome with Kelly and the underage girl. |
| 6:38
| The trial adjourned after the defense announced the surprise witness on Monday. He might undermine the woman's testimony. |
| 6:39
| CBS had exclusive video of the man arriving at Midway last night. Steve's going to try to get that video playing. He had to switch up his audio yesterday on his computer because he was trying to play Guitar Hero. That was wholly unsatisfying but he'll get to that later. |
| 6:40
| Steve's sort of hot for that Anne State woman, he can't wait for her to be in HD. She seems so innocent, this big city is going to eat her up. |
| 6:41
| The video just has a photo of the guy, who's wearing a Phillies hat. Why is he wearing a Phillies hat if he's from Atlanta? That would be Steve's first question if he was the prosecutor. |
| 6:42
| Brendan and everyone else in court was glad to get a half day yesterday though. They all headed over to North Avenue Beach to enjoy the afternoon. |
| 6:43
| Judge Vincent Gaughan said he had no idea what's going on but thinks it could be impeachment of the prosecutor's witness. Does he just say that from the bench? He's really keeping it real. |
| 6:44
| The judge ordered the defense to speak to the new witness and then fax a summary of the conversation to prosecutors at 2 am today. Prosecutors will speak to him today at 7 am. Brendan probably won't be there for that right? |
| 6:45
| CBS reported on Tuesday that the defense claims the woman is trying to extort money from Kelly with false claims about the sexual threesome and even sought to have her arrested. Jay might want to tighten that sentence up a bit. These TV journalists! |
| 6:46
| The prosecution witness will claim she got tens of thousands of dollars from Kelly's people to return a tape of the threesome. |
| 6:47
| She will also be questioned about another botched extortion attempt which resulted in Mr. Adam's attempts to have her arrested. It was unclear if it that was Sam Adams Sr., Sam Adams Jr. or Sam Adams the brewer. |
| 6:48
| The defense is hoping to discredit this woman who is a key witness for the prosecution. She's the only person claiming to have actually seen sexual contact between Kelly and the young teen. |
| 6:49
| A dozen witnesses have testified that they recognize the young girl. Apparently she has a big forehead, there's been a lot of talk about that. |
| 6:50
| Buzz is wonder if there are any rumors about the new witness around the courthouse. Buzz might have to be a little more specific about that. Brendan didn't know about it yesterday, the court was just adjourned. |
| 6:51
| A former middle school basketball coach said he got to know the alleged victim through some of her friends. He told jurors that he recognized her facial features, mainly the forehead and her smile. He estimated the girl was 14 or 15 at the time the video was made. |
| 6:52
| Joel Rhea said the girl's forehead was distinctive and that everyone gave her a hard time about it. They would joke about her forehead. That's when defense attorney Mark Martin snapped back that he was joking about a 7th grade girl with a big forehead. |
| 6:58
| Steve thinks it's hot when the intern calls him Mr. Dahl. It's probably best that way unless Buzz wants to have the R. Kilman trial. It's best that the interns call Steve and Buzz Mr., just to remind them that they're old enough to be her father. Or for some of us, old enough to be her grandfather. |
| 6:59
| Intern Jordan is 19. Adam has done a fine job selecting these interns but it was only after Steve threw the hammer down. If he hadn't, Adam would still be interviewing people. He didn't want it to end, that was like speed dating for him. |
| 7:00
| Adam really enjoys the power he wields though. Dr. Patti's daughter wants to be an intern so Steve had her come in for an interview. Adam told her we were full up but she could try back in the fall. Steve had to override him on that though. Rules are rules! |
| 7:01
| Adam bent the rules and went along with it but it seemed like he didn't like it. He reads the Sun-Times, he knows what Todd Stroger's doing and people don't like it. |
| 7:02
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. He went along with it but he didn't like it right? Adam liked our currently level of staffing. He can see why Steve had to override it though right? |
| 7:03
| Adam's like our own Dwight Schrute only he's actually in charge. But he did a great job with Vicki and Jordan, who Steve keeps wanting to call Juno, he just saw the movie. That shows off Mr. Dahl's sensitive side. |
| 7:04
| It's best that they call them Mr. Dahl and Mr. Kilman though right? Buzz is older than Steve, there are certain illusions he needs to get him through the day. If they're younger than Steve's youngest kid they should call him Mr. Dahl, except at the Christmas party when they get hammered. |
| 7:05
| They won't be around for the Christmas party although you never know who will become a valued employee. Stephanie was an intern and now she's an employee. She calls him Steve too. Actually she doesn't really call him anything. |
| 7:06
| Buzz usually doesn't call Steve anything, except maybe in a live read. Stephanie's out in the hallway, what does she call Steve? Anything but late for dinner. |
| 7:07
| Stephanie calls him Steve usually. They almost have the same name except one is a girl and one is a boy. All of the sudden Steve is Mr. Rogers here. |
| 7:08
| Steve's having some problems with Guitar Hero working on his MacBook Pro. It's really frustrating and it's driving him crazy. We'll get to that later though. |
| 7:09
| And there goes Stephanie, she was an intern and now she's a member of the family. Anything can happen if you set your sights low enough. |
| 7:10
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:11
| Alright it's time for the web poll, brought to you by the Acura Dealer's Association. Yesterday's web poll question was "Which new reality show will you watch?" The options were Living Lohan and It's Complicated. Steve went with the Lohan show because they're crazier. |
| 7:12
| Today's question is "Was your name mispronounced at your graduation ceremony?" Steve had some problem in his household with that. Pat Dahl's name was mispronounced at his Northwestern graduation. That made Steve want to jump out of his seat and strangle someone because of how expensive Northwestern is. You don't get any breaks if you're white and middle class. You pay for everything. |
| 7:13
| Mike Dahl got his name mispronounced in Chambana. All of the boys have Joliat, Janet's maiden name, as their middle name. That's what was mispronounced. Matt's name was pronounced properly but they might have struck his middle name. His ceremony took three hours though, it was god-awful. |
| 7:14
| Angie Cverkite is used to the drill. Whenever someone calls roll they get down to her name and stop. Next week Lockport Township seniors will join the ranks of other people with names that are hard to pronounce. Patrick Joliat Dahl is not hard to say though. |
| 7:15
| Steve can't even remember what they said, he's blocked it out. Mike's name was also wrong in the program although Janet got U of I to print up new ones. |
| 7:16
| If 8th grade graduation is any indicator these student's name's will not be pronounced correctly. Why don't they just come out and say their own names when they cross the stage? |
| 7:17
| Kids would probably do weird stuff if you gave them a mic. There's already enough of that going on anyway. |
| 7:18
| They're concentrating on these hard ones so much that they can't pronounced Pat Dahl's name correctly. Those names should have been changed way back at Ellis Island anyway. |
| 7:25
| Live read: National City |
| 7:26
| National City is celebrating America's pastime with their customer appreciation day this week. Steve thought America's pastime was complaining. You can win a Ryne Sandberg autograph, a Wii prize pack or a Wrigley Field experience. |
| 7:27
| The Smithe Brothers are coming in today. Steve was just pitching Wally on a line of Ryne Sandberg coffee tables. He looks like a coffee table. |
| 7:28
| News with Buzz |
| 7:29
| Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan is expected to start promoting his book today. Didn't it already shoot to the top of the best seller list/ |
| 7:30
| In the book McClellan says the war in Iraq was a serious misstep. He actually takes down Condoleezza Rice which you don't see very often. In the book she looks like the person who put all the ideas in Bush's head. All you ever hear about her is she likes football. |
| 7:31
| The New York Times is reporting that Governor David Patterson is urging all state agencies to change policies and regulations to recognize gay marriage. Steve and Buzz's dreams are finally coming true. |
| 7:32
| Delta is facing a $1 million from a New York area lawyer. He says the company ruined his family's trip to his mother's 80th birthday party. The woman at the counter refused to let him and his family on the plane even though his cousin, already on the plane, was telling him that there were plenty of seats. |
| 7:33
| Maybe there was a stop on that flight and those seats were sold. Or maybe the guy was just a jerk and they didn't want to let him on. It doesn't seem like they have the ability to stop jerks from getting on planes, Steve runs into them all the time. |
| 7:34
| Following Sharon Stone's comments about the earthquake in China her films will not be shown in that country. |
| 7:35
| Can Steve read more about this lawyer? His family vacation was ruined after they were stranded in the airport for 2 days and treated disdainfully by airline employees. That's just airline travel. |
| 7:36
| Richard Roth says that one Delta employee walked away chuckling that he had left them stranded. This guy must have been a real jerk. |
| 7:37
| After waiting in the airport for hours Roth was told the next available flight would depart more than two weeks later. He booked a flight through a different airline and arrived at his destination, in Argentina, 3 days later than planned. |
| 7:38
| The family was not reunited with their luggage for more than 5 days. That's because he left them with Delta. Steve is always amazed that they can get lost luggage to you. He once lost his luggage and it was returned to him while he was on a cruise ship. |
| 7:39
| Usually airlines have daily service to most destinations not once every fortnight. |
| 7:40
| We've got an R. Kelly report standing by. Brendan's standin' at the courthouse, he's overlooking the people coming in to work for the day. Today we'll hopefully find out more about the mystery witness. |
| 7:41
| The defense is claiming the witness will undermine the credibility of the threesome witness. If you're in a threesome with R. Kelly and a young girl isn't your credibility already a little suspect? |
| 7:42
| The former basketball coach of the alleged victim was asked about the times he met R. Kelly. He recalled one time seeing him at a pancake house hosting a large group of people. Did they say which kind of restaurant it was? Steve would like to think of him setting up at an IHOP in a corner booth. |
| 7:43
| The scandal that darkened Senator Larry Craig's career is about to be turned into a tell-all page-turner. The outgoing Senator will offer a detailed account of what happened. Didn't he do that already? He had a wide stance, enough said. Steve can't go to the bathroom at the airport any more because he doesn't know what to do with his feet. Everything he does could be a signal. |
| 7:45
| A video that purportedly shows a living, breathing space alien will be shown to media in Denver tomorrow. |
| 7:46
| The general public will have to wait to see it because it's being included in a documentary. That will not be available for a few months. It's not just a clip from E.T. is it? |
| 7:47
| An audio taped conversation between Hulk Hogan and his son Nick has ben released to the public. It comes after a 22-year-old Iraq war vet was severely injured when Nick crashed his car. |
| 7:48
| The tape reveals Nick's future plans for a reality TV show once he gets out of prison. |
| 7:49
| Alright Steve has something from a blog, some guy and his friend spotted R. Kelly at Pancake House. One of the bloggers lives in the Gold Coast. So there must be a restaurant called Pancake House. |
| 7:50
| Alright there's a Pancake House at Bellevue and Rush, that's in the Viagra Triangle. That has to be it. |
| 7:51
| Steve used to eat there after Breakfast Club shows at the Carnegie Theater. Buzz forgot all about that one, it's a great spot. |
| 7:52
| Steve should send Brendan over there although he'd probably get in trouble. Although the testimony from the basketball coach said he saw him at a Pancake House but didn't say where. |
| 7:53
| Then this blogger lives in the Gold Coast so it could be a different one. R. Kelly probably isn't stopping for breakfast on the way to court though. |
| 7:54
| Let's go to Pancake House right now! They've got bacon waffles! That's just what Steve needs now. |
| 7:55
| Scientists with chips planted in their brains are able to move a mechanical arm using only their thoughts. And you know what monkeys think about. |
| 8:02
| Buzz might notice that the Smithe Brothers are here. But first it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. The brothers were disappointed that they didn't get to eat tacos. |
| 8:03
| It's Thursday which means someone calls in and tells Steve what they're going to have for lunch. Let's make it something off the Why Pay More Menu. |
| 8:04
| One of these days Steve will meet a listener for lunch. He almost met that Monica last week but that seemed like a bad idea. |
| 8:05
| Steve is distracted by one Smithe brother being higher up than the others. He's always thought Tim had the biggest ego and he's up on a stool towering above everyone. |
| 8:06
| Tim is the middle brother so it's understandable. Mike Dahl is the middle child and everything with him is a pain. Tim was always introduced by his mom as the middle child. It's nice though, it looks like they're in a portrait studio. |
| 8:07
| Mark likes Taco Bell, maybe they should go to lunch. Mark's going to get one item each from each section of the Why Pay More Menu. That's still under $3. |
| 8:08
| Alright the Smithe Brothers are here to say hello. They're currently in the middle of their Smithopolitan tour but luckily they're not wearing dresses. The ads turned out pretty good but once again Steve has to point out there's no furniture in the ads! |
| 8:09
| The last time Mark saw Steve he was in his kitchen filming a TV commercial. That turned out pretty well. Does Tim remember when he pretended he was a Sox fan during the 2005 World Series? |
| 8:10
| The Smithe Brothers brought in some giant boxes but they're not big enough to be furniture. What should Steve do with these boxes? Which one should he open first? |
| 8:11
| Of course the brothers don't need to bring Steve anything, their love and support is more than enough. Steve has a lot of Smithe furniture in his house and office. And of course they replaced Buzz's most comfortable couch with another comfortable couch. |
| 8:12
| On a scale of 1 to 10, how difficult of a customer was Buzz? Steve sees 20 different couches being delivered before he got the right one. |
| 8:13
| Steve has a marionette of himself, which goes all the way back to an ad they were running last summer. It was during the Police concerts at Wrigley and they were featured in ads as marionettes. |
| 8:14
| This goes back to July 6 of last year, at 3:12 pm. Steve was in Hawaii and got an email from Tim Smithe. Tim used to send emails in all caps which Steve had to tell him meant he was shouting. |
| 8:15
| Steve needs to call Jim because there are some grammatical errors in here. If Steve's going to read this in front of company it needs to be corrected. The Smithe brothers are looking at Steve like he's an idiot. |
| 8:16
| Steve's going to keep Jim on in case there are any more errors, so he can blame him without having to dial. |
| 8:17
| So Tim wanted to give away Police tickets to listeners who would call in and explain why they like Walter E. Smithe, Steve and The Police. There was also an offer to make a wooden puppet of Steve. Steve didn't want to go to the show though because he doesn't like The Police or Wrigley Field. |
| 8:18
| Steve did find two listeners who went to dinner with Wally and then went to The Police concert. They had a great time and as Steve recalls the women were very attractive. |
| 8:19
| Steve will let Jim go because he's done reading from the log. In the future can he proofread it though? Jim actually did proofread this morning but he must have missed something. It's hard to proofread yourself. |
| 8:20
| The Smithe brothers were on another show yesterday and Mark coughed on the air. Tim was just pointing out the cough button to him. He can cough if he needs to though. |
| 8:21
| The Smithe brothers are doing this Sex and the City promotion and the movie is coming out. And they know who they sell furniture to. |
| 8:22
| They're having parties at all the Walter E. Smithe stores for Sex and the City. The Smithe brothers invite Steve to see the movie with them, they're seeing it at Wrigley. |
| 8:23
| They're also having a party tomorrow night at Rockit where the brothers will be making their Smithopolitans. |
| 8:24
| The brothers brought in a gift certificate for the wheel but Steve wants to give it to this caller who's on hold. |
| 8:25
| Caller Cindy loves the Smithe brothers, she thinks they're hot. Tim wants to know which brother she likes the most. Cindy doesn't know them by name but she likes the one with the mustache the most. |
| 8:26
| That's Wally, he's also Steve's favorite brother because he rocks it old school. Wally is the only one who works. At the commercial shoot Tim spent the whole time storyboarding new commercial ideas, Mark was making sure people didn't damage the furniture but Wally was on the phone doing business, yelling at Martha Stewart, buying new furniture. |
| 8:27
| As a child, Wally was tortured by his brothers because of Oh, Wally. Wally was never tortured but that's not how Tim tells it. Wally grew up with his parents listening to Steve. He would have been at Disco Demolition if his wedding wasn't the next day. |
| 8:28
| Tim might be trying to keep Wally from Steve. He said that Wally hated Steve and used to come after the brothers with baseball bats when they'd make fun of him. |
| 8:34
| Walter Smithe wanted Steve to tell everyone that he has a dog named Matt Dahl. Because Matt has a dog named Walter. |
| 8:35
| That's a joke Buzz, he doesn't really have a dog named Matt. Steve's pretty sure Matt named his dog after Walter from The Big Lebowski but he's not sure. |
| 8:36
| It's like being in a cyclone when the Smithe Brothers are here though, there are marionette puppets and $500 gift certificates flying all around. They're good guys though. |
| 8:37
| Steve and Buzz have a lot of their furniture. They helped Buzz build his new couch, it's exactly what he wanted. Usually Buzz just rents a couch for 8 years and this might be hard to believe but he doesn't like change. Buzz does actually have the old couch just in case. |
| 8:38
| Steve would go see Sex and the City with them though, that seems like a good way to see it. Steve's going to start up a new chapter of The Big Shooters Club and they're going to be charter members. |
| 8:39
| Big Shooters are guys want to hang out with and draft off of their success. Rocky Wirtz and Billy Dec are also big shooters. The Smithe brothers are the Billy Dec's of furniture. |
| 8:40
| Billy always wants to come in and promote stuff, Steve just wants to hang out with him. He doesn't care about the Madhatter's Ball or the Lookingglass Theater. |
| 8:41
| Steve can't go to Rockit tomorrow though because he's going to Second City. Mary has written a show for Second City. A bunch of people are going actually. And then everyone is going to dinner. |
| 8:42
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:43
| Alright Brendan is checking in from 26th and California. He did some research into the Pancake House and the one that the coach saw R. Kelly at is in Kenwood. |
| 8:44
| The Original Pancake House in the Viagra Triangle is where George Ryan had his last meal before going to prison. Of course they have the dutch pancakes in prison but no powdered sugar. |
| 8:45
| Brendan actually consulted his own notes, they're that copious. So far no action yet. He saw one of the prosecutors though. |
| 8:46
| So the mystery witness is supposed to undermine the testimony of the woman who said she was in the threesome. Although it seems like overkill because if you're a videotaped threesome, how much credibility do you have? |
| 8:47
| R. Kelly probably has a jet but Steve's guessing they didn't fly the guy in from Atlanta. Otherwise you wouldn't have the footage of the guy in the airport. |
| 8:48
| Steve never played Oh, Wally for Walter Smithe. As it turns out Wally is the brother who likes Steve the most. But Tim was trying to keep them apart. |
| 8:49
| Song: Oh, Wally, Steve Dahl |
| 8:59
| Steve feels that Oh, Wally still holds up. So when Steve was out in LA he played Guitar Hero at Pat's house. He doesn't normally like games but he likes this. |
| 9:00
| He kept messing up trying to play Slow Ride by Foghat though. He thought it would be good to get one for the office and have tournaments. |
| 9:01
| Steve thought it would work since he's pretty sure he has the most powerful laptop available. But the audio coming was really bad and intermittent. |
| 9:02
| Steve planned his whole day around this though. As any good addict will do, Steve got all his work done so he could spend the rest of the day playing Guitar Hero. |
| 9:03
| So there's a guitar fret and the notes come down the frets and you have to hit the corresponding buttons before the notes are off the screen. But as Steve is hitting the notes the sound is cutting out. |
| 9:04
| Steve went online and downloaded the software patch for Macs and that didn't work. He spent 3 hours on this and finally he was just playing with the bad audio. Then he turned the audio off and he actually did better. |
| 9:05
| Steve even asked Ed for help and he couldn't figure it out. Ed is actually outside of the studio and after hearing his name he stood up and made a very dramatic gesture. It's like we're in Othello or something. |
| 9:06
| Come on into the studio Ed. Ed just stood up because he heard his name and wondered what he did wrong. He didn't do anything wrong though. |
| 9:07
| Console games don't work on computers very well, sadly. But then why does it say "For PCs and Macs"? That's what Ed is wondering. Because Steve has the best computer available. |
| 9:08
| If Steve can't figure this out then he'll have to go buy the X-Box and try to hook that up to his TV at home. It's very hard to do that because of the system Steve has. |
| 9:09
| He's better off getting a TV just for the X-Box which is what he wants to do in the office. It was a bad capper to Steve's day although he did end up watching the Stanley Cup. |
| 9:10
| Steve didn't watch the Cubs game although he wanted to see The Sut sing the 7th Inning Stretch. He just returned from prostate cancer treatment. There's a guy who doesn't want to lose his prostate. |
| 9:11
| Does Pete happen to have that audio? Was it emotional and tearful? Pete was just glad that Sut said "Root, root, root for the Cubbies." He's sick of the other guys who say their own team. Pete would prefer that Santo just do it everyday, taking over for Harry. That would be fine with Steve. |
| 9:12
| Pete doesn't expect guys like Lasorda and Uecker to say anything else though. He needs to get over it then. |
| 9:13
| A lot of people are calling in about this Guitar Hero thing. Since it's a computer issue everyone has a different idea of what the problem is. Steve was all ready to be addicted to Guitar Hero though. |
| 9:14
| Ed thinks Steve will have a much better time once he gets the game on a big screen TV. That's what Steve wants but he wants it in his office by the time the show is over. That's probably not going to happen right? |
| 9:15
| In the back of the Guitar Hero instruction manual, which wasn't very helpful, there was an ad for a Dell computer. So that must be the computer that you can play the game on. |
| 9:16
| Alright let's hear that audio from The Red Baron at Wrigley Field last night. |
| 9:17
| That was well-played by Sut, it was perfect. He's a good guy and a funny guy. What's the greatest city in the world Buzz? Pete was OK with that right? He needs to let go of the Tommy Lasorda thing go. |
| 9:18
| The Tribune won't let Steve sing but they'll let Tommy go up there and sing "Dodgers". What could Steve do that's worse than that? He could say "White Sox" at a Crosstown game but that wouldn't even be as bad. |
| 9:19
| Steve would probably say "Root for the team of your choice." When Uecker does it he says both teams. Does that fit into the song, meter-wise? |
| 9:20
| Steve doesn't even want to sing it, he doesn't want to sit at Wrigley for 6 1/2 innings smelling urine. Pete thinks he could just show up right before he goes on. He'll hang out at Yak-Zies, someone call him when there's one out in the top oft he 7th. |
| 9:21
| When Steve was at the Dodgers game on Sunday CBS radio was in a very risky situation because Adam Corolla was also there. He got a very big round of applause from the crowd. At first it made Steve jealous but then he remembered his own warm reception at the Blackhawks game. |
| 9:22
| Live read: Seattle Sutton |
| 9:28
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:29
| This live read still mentions Memorial Day, which is over. Is there sale still going on? We can't just extend it to Fourth of July or something. |
| 9:30
| Steve calls down to Adam, he's going to look into the live copy. Buzz just extended the sale to Fourth of July but he probably can't do that. |
| 9:31
| Was the stream down today? There were intermittent outages here and there but Adam is on it. Maybe he should get off it and let it breathe. |
| 9:32
| Alright we now go live to Brendan Greeley at 26th and California. For the last couple of days we've been waiting for the testimony from the girl who said she had a threesome with R. Kelly and an underage girl. |
| 9:33
| Meanwhile the defense flew in a witness who was going to undermine her testimony. Although as a single mother who was in a videotaped threesome, it seems like she's already sort of undermined. |
| 9:34
| Buzz is wondering if Brendan has had a change to bond with any of the defense attorneys. Don't listen to Buzz, he's going to get Brendan arrested. |
| 9:35
| Brendan didn't have breakfast yet because he missed the good truck. He grabbed a muffin and a Mountain Dew from the vending machine though. |
| 9:36
| News with Buzz |
| 9:37
| Scott McClellan is promoting his scathing new book which details the propaganda and spin used by the Bush administration to push the war in Iraq. |
| 9:38
| New York is moving towards legalizing gay marriage. David Patterson is urging all state agencies to revise their policy and recognize gay marriages. |
| 9:39
| We have to go back to the courthouse, Steve assumes something exciting is happening. Although with Brendan it could be a report about how there aren't any blueberries in his muffin or his Mountain Dew is warm. |
| 9:40
| The defense's surprise witness was brought in, still wearing the Phillies hat and the same shirt. The hat is sideways with an unfolded brim. Steve does not like that look. |
| 9:41
| You'd think the defense would have gotten him a change of clothes. Brendan thinks he's a light packer. Steve thought he said white packer and he had no idea what that meant. |
| 9:42
| Hopefully the guy takes his cap off in court but you never know. People used to take their hats off indoors, what happened to that? Certainly kids and hip-hop guys abuse that but the people who started it all are the country western guys. |
| 9:43
| Buzz thinks there's long been an exception for cowboy hats. Maybe if you're in a saloon but that's it. |
| 9:49
| Alright we're waiting for a call from Irwin at Woodfield Nissan but in the meantime, let's get back to Buzz in the newsroom. |
| 9:50
| Two girls are in critical condition after they were struck by a freight train. The girls ditched school and were sunbathing on railroad tracks when they were struck. |
| 9:51
| One girl lost her legs and the other lost a foot. You really don't want to fall asleep on the railroad tracks. That's a bad way to wake up though. |
| 9:52
| Naomi Campbell has been charged with assaulting a police officer after an incident at Heathrow Airport last month. |
| 9:53
| Drew Peterson's attorney says a photo of his client with John Travolta should clear him of gun charges. Drew's publicist, Glenn Selig, released the photo of Drew in SWAT regalia, carrying the gun he was arrested for last week. |
| 9:54
| Joel Brodsky said jokingly that Travolta could become a star witness in Drew's case. |
| 9:55
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:56
| The sale is until June 1st so it's Memorial Day week. |
| 9:57
| Myanmar's hunta has lashed out at foreign aid for that country's cyclone victims. They want access to the delta region but the hunta says those people can stand on their own without chocolate bars from other countries. |
| 9:58
| Students at Northwestern are disappointed that Mayor Daley will speak at their commencement. What a bunch of jerk kids. One student said he wouldn't attend the commencement and the President of the university sent him an email telling him to grow up. |
| 9:59
| Those kids are idiots. Steve attended Northwestern's graduation for Pat Dahl and the speaker was some woman who had been an ambassador to Iraq but quit when the war started. So it was boring and stupid. |
| 10:00
| At Matt's graduation they had Lois Weisberg, she was really good. And Mike's graduation had Bill Geiss. |
| 10:01
| But the Northwestern kids want someone bigger like the Dalai Lama or Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Weren't they all mad about her last year? Idiot kids! |
