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| 5:31
| As the city awakens for another exciting, action-packed, busy day the Steve Dahl Show is on the air! |
| 5:32
| Buzz has seen all these movies where this theme music plays. There's a milkman coming down the street, a cat and Steve and Buzz coming out of their house in their suits and hats, holding briefcases. Buzz has lived that actually. |
| 5:33
| Then they head off to work but they can't wait to get home and barbecue with the family. The wife's at home in an apron, a cold martini is waiting for you. Those were the good old days. |
| 5:34
| So that was Every Rose Has It's Thorn as the last song, by Poison. Steve thought it was Guns 'n' Roses though. Buzz can never remember if it was the bass player from Poison or Whitesnake who showed up at U.S. Blues one night and wanted to jam. |
| 5:35
| Turns out he didn't know the standard three chords for the blues. He was booed mercilessly. The Bangles were also in town at the same time and in the bar. |
| 5:36
| Does Buzz still have his Go-Go's tape? Of course he does. The Go-Go's are backstage abusing a male roadie. He passes out and they throw lit matches on him and abuse one of his orifi with a "back massager" |
| 5:37
| You have to hand it to the roadie, at one point he was trying to sleep with every girl in the band. A few of them were thinking about it but then he went too far over the edge. |
| 5:38
| When Buzz got that tape he was sworn to secrecy. It was supposed to be his own personal copy, one of three. But he couldn't make copies fast enough right? |
| 5:39
| Steve remembers seeing it at Buzz's place and asking for a copy. Buzz said it could be arranged. When you have a good tape, be you Buzz Kilman or Jim DeRogatis, you want to show it to people. |
| 5:40
| The Go-Go's tape was the precursor to the Pam & Tommy Lee tape. Tommy Lee really went all out for that tape, he planned it, he storyboarded it. It's |
| 5:41
| Caller Matt knows the guitar player Buzz is talking about, it's C.C. DeVille. Matt wasn't there but Steve Vai was the guitar player in Whitesnake and he was Frank Zappa's protegè. |
| 5:42
| Matt doesn't know for sure that it was C.C. DeVille but he's just guessing because the guy is a hack. Matt just hates C.C. DeVille, is that it? He's been up all night and now he's calling in because Steve's talking about C.C. DeVille. |
| 5:43
| Matt was never a Poison fan but he is a fan of Steve Vai. He was in Frank Zappa's band as a teenager, he was in David Lee Roth's first band and then Whitesnake. Where else does Steve know Steve Vai from? Did he do some instrumental stuff? |
| 5:44
| Steve Vai isn't in a band now, he's just doing solo stuff. Is it solo instrumental stuff? Matt says it's stuff Steve doesn't listen to. How does Matt know what Steve listens to? |
| 5:45
| Steve's going to let Matt go, he might need to get some sleep. Does Buzz know how loud his pen clicking is? Does he think Steve's about ready to crack on Matt and is adding to it with the pen? |
| 5:46
| How can anyone hate C.C. DeVille that much in 2008? That was 20 years ago! They are still around but no one cares about them, except Buzz. Let's make sure to never play a Poison song again so this doesn't happen. |
| 5:47
| Buzz only cares because of how bad he was on stage. When everyone else on stage realized C.C. couldn't play the basic blues progression it was like a feeding frenzy of piranhas. |
| 5:48
| The blues progression is just basic math, knowing where you to put your fingers. Then you have to strum rhythmically. Speaking of that Steve and Buzz are jamming with Tony Joe White on Monday. Does Buzz know that? |
| 5:49
| Tony actually requested that Steve and Buzz jam with him. Steve thinks he has the song worked out. Steve didn't want to ask what chords he used because that would make him and Buzz look uncool. |
| 5:50
| There's a video on YouTube of Tony playing the song but it's very hard for Steve to figure out the the hand placement since it's reversed. |
| 5:51
| Caller Joe has some Steve Vai information. First of all, he was in Crossroads, a movie with Ralph Macchio about the blues. Buzz has seen that movie and Steve Vai did a great job. |
| 5:52
| This right here is a textbook example of good call vs. bad call. Joe is a good call that pays off and the other one gets hung up on. |
| 5:53
| Joe isn't calling in claiming he knows what Steve listens to. Some listeners might know what Steve listens to though but there's a lot more. He listens to Deepak Choprah, Deep Purple and Deep Throat. He just listens to Deep Throat, he likes the slurping. |
| 5:54
| Joe won a gift certificate to Reel Club where Steve ate just last night. He had the black sea bass, he's recommending it. They also have these cheese popovers that they just keep bringing out. |
| 5:55
| So Steve had about 100 of those as well as some parmesan encrusted scallops then the sea bass. For dessert he had gelato with blood orange, allowing him to create an upscale Dreamsicle. |
| 5:56
| Joe lives in Portage, Indiana and Reel Club is in Oak Brook. Joe was wondering if there's anything closer. Joe's making a mistake. So far Steve is not happy with the callers today. He just described a delicious meal but Joe wants a closer restaurant. |
| 5:57
| Steve might break the phones just so we don't get any more calls today. It's not Steve's fault that Joe lives in Portage! Brendan might be a big court reporter now but he still has to screen the calls. Aren't there any from girls who want to say how much they love Steve? |
| 5:58
| Steve knows where Portage is, he stops at the truck stop there to use the bathroom. In order to go to the bathroom you have to go past the trucker showers which is depressing. You don't want to think about truckers in there naked having sex. |
| 5:59
| Steve feels uncomfortable at truck stops anyway since he was once propositioned in one. Truckers find Steve irresistible. It must be his onion. |
| 6:02
| That's My Name is Earl where Earl used some Poison lyrics to make a point to a lady. Before Steve takes some girls from women who like him-instead of a guy who hates C.C. DeVille and another guy who literally looked a gift horse in the mouth-he's going to play the Tony Joe White song he and Buzz are jamming on. |
| 6:03
| Just for the record, Tony is singing "Ship" in this song. How cool is this guy? |
| 6:04
| Tony will be in here Monday and then he's playing somewhere Monday night. Or maybe he's just coming in to hang out because he had such a good time before. |
| 6:05
| Tony Joe White is like what Elvis thought he was. Tony actually still lives in the swamp. At one point in that song he sings "Lightnin' Hopkins was a friend of mine" At some point Steve and Buzz can write a song with the lyric "Tony Joe White was a friend of ours" |
| 6:06
| Tony Joe White is going to be at Blues Fest on Sunday night, Steve might have to come down for that. He's supposed to go to the Sox game so he can get hammered there, head to Grant Park and keep drinking and then puke on the lawn. Then right back to yelling "POLK SALAD ANNIE!" |
| 6:07
| Alright Patrick Bertoletti is on the line but there are also some cute girls on hold who love Steve. Really the show should start like this. It shouldn't happen in order to overcome some bad callers. |
| 6:08
| Caller Susan is Australian but she lives in Chicago. She doesn't think that guy should complain about driving from Portage of Oak Brook. She lives in Michigan City and her husband works on Oak Brook, it's an easy drive, much better than going into Chicago. We should pull that guy's certificate and give it to Susan. |
| 6:09
| G'day mate! Actually Susan's not a mate, they call women Sheilas in Australia. Buzz didn't know, do they say "She's a Sheila"? |
| 6:10
| Caller Donna is a cute girl from Indiana. Steve might need to get over to Indiana sometime. He can stop by on his way to New Buffalo, she's right in Long Beach is stop 31. Has Donna ever been to Stop 50 Pizza? |
| 6:11
| Actually her friends own it so she should say how great it is. Donna just driving around right now, waiting to talk to Steve. She's up early going to her in-laws to help them with a garage sale. What a great daughter-in-law she is. |
| 6:12
| Steve is always amazed how many people show up when you have a garage sale. Do people just troll around neighborhoods looking for garage sales? Does Donna haggle with the customers? |
| 6:13
| Pat and his wife Rachael are moving back to Chicago and they were having a garage sale. This couple found a chair that they said, in Spanish, was priced way below what it was worth. They still tried to haggle but luckily Rachael speaks Spanish. That's 8 years of Spanish paying off, literally. |
| 6:14
| Donna has won a gift certificate to Antico Posto which is also in Oak Brook. That's a great mall out there, it's outdoors. Donna will make a day of it. |
| 6:15
| The White Sox won last night and the Cubs won as well. The Sox have 3 three in a row since that big dust-up with Ozzie. Say what you will about Ozzie but Steve thinks he knows what he's doing. |
| 6:22
| Alright Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti is on the phone and he's doing wonderful. It sounded like he said underful though. It's like talking to Foster Brooks, that guy who was always drunk on the Dean Martin Show. |
| 6:23
| Buzz remembered there was a Foster Brooks robot in Vegas. A robot? That's a pretty old school reference Steve just made. It's the kind of reference Patrick would make that no one would get. |
| 6:24
| Foster Brook was a comedian who was part of that Dean Martin circuit and he would pretend to be drunk or he was actually drunk. Maybe Mark can find some audio of him. |
| 6:25
| When we last saw Patrick he was in studio with a TV crew from the Al Roker show on the Food Network. Steve went into his Al Roker hunk which is quite mean but quite funny. He hasn't heard back from anyone though. |
| 6:26
| The producer who was here and another guy were having a good laugh about it afterwards though. Everything Steve said is true. A guy who had his stomach stapled and can only eat a thimble full of food shouldn't be giving out food recommendations. |
| 6:27
| Plus if Steve were black he wouldn't like all of the Al Roker shows on Food Network. Al is a white guy but the Food Network can say they have shows with black people. |
| 6:28
| Although someone might have complained because now Food Network has a show that's just straight up barbecue, Down Home with the Neelys. |
| 6:29
| Steve has two Foster Brooks videos here, Dean Martin Roasts of Jackie Gleason and Don Rickles. Which one should Steve go with? Patrick recommends Rickles, he loves him. |
| 6:30
| Steve's going to go with Gleason. If Patrick recommends Rickles, Steve's going to go with the other choice. Even Dean Martin sounds drunk but he probably was. They all were and they all have cigarettes in their hands. |
| 6:31
| Foster Brooks starts off asking if Jackie has arrived yet, even though he's right next to him. That joke killed Steve and Edie. |
| 6:32
| Everyone is drunk but Foster sounds drunker so it's funny to them. You can hear Sammy Davis Jr. pounding on the table. And Foster is killing Frank Gorshin and Nipsy Russell. |
| 6:33
| So Patrick was in Maryland last weekend for a pizza eating contest. It seems like Maryland should be crab but it's more about whatever place wants to promote their restaurant. Patrick won, he ate 2 1/2 large pizzas without any dunking. |
| 6:34
| They were 16 inch pizzas and they were pretty thick. It took him 10 minutes to eat 2 1/2 pizzas. That's a lot of pizza in 2 1/2 minutes. It was cold pizza too which made it even more difficult. |
| 6:35
| The Black Widow, Eater X and Humble Bob all tied for second. Joey Chestnut did not participate, he might be scared to compete because Patrick has won the pizza contest the last 3 years. |
| 6:36
| Patrick hasn't seen Joey since the gyro contest actually. That's only a week though. This weekend he has no competition so he'll just be getting drunk. It sounds like he's on his way to that already. |
| 6:37
| Next weekend is the strawberry shortcake competition on Long Island. They're known for their strawberry shortcakes. |
| 6:38
| It's strawberries, pound cake and whip cream. The pound cake seems like a bit much to Buzz though. Last year they made them really fresh, Patrick was able to eat 11 pounds in the first 4 minutes. Then he hung back a little for the final 8 minutes and still won. |
| 6:39
| Patrick is still trying to get his old man to come with him because it's a father-son competition. Patrick's dad lives in the real world though, not the fantasy world Pat lives in. |
| 6:40
| Pat thinks he got his eating ability from his dad so he can compete. Patrick's brother is a pretty big guy but he's called Tiny in the family. His dad looks like he's in the mafia though, he's about 5' 4" and 215 pounds. |
| 6:41
| Steve doesn't even know what that means. Do guys in the mob look like that? Does he look like Paulie Walnuts? He looks more like Sammy "The Bull" Gravano. |
| 6:42
| Patrick's having a party this weekend and he'd like to invite Steve and Buzz. Without knowing any details Steve will have to say no but he should send Buzz an Evite. |
| 6:43
| Patrick's birthday is this weekend. He has trophies littering the apartment and he usually makes people drink out of those. Steve can see only guys doing that, girls wouldn't do it. |
| 6:50
| Alright time for the web poll. Steve's pretty sure he never even got to yesterday's question. He didn't read the article for sure. Yesterday's question was "What is your favorite brand of athletic shoe?" Steve did read the question because he remember saying "Puma" |
| 6:51
| The article was about the Olympic shoe contract. |
| 6:52 | Today's web poll question is "Have you ever experienced a buzzkill moment in the sack?" That's no offense to Buzz, it wasn't named after him. This is from Red Eye's Boys on Boystown and Jason Steele. That's a great porno name. |
| 6:53
| Steve assumes this is a gay article since it's called Boys on Boystown. There is nothing worse than getting hot and heavy with someone and then something happens that kills the mood. Jason calls those moments "bedding crashers" |
| 6:54
| This recently happened to Jason's friend Dave. He met a guy at the bar and chatted him up and then the two of them went home together. Yep, it's gay. |
| 6:55
| Dave and the guy were getting hot and heavy and when Dave tried to take his shirt off he clocked the guy right in the nose. The guy freaked out, grabbed a handful of Kleenex and ran home. That probably would have happened anyway. |
| 6:56
| Some mood killers are easy to overcome like a sneezing fit, your mom calling to leave a long-winded message or the cat jumping on your bed. |
| 6:57
| But some mishaps are nearly impossible to get over in the moment. Like if you call someone by your ex's name, fall asleep during the act or find out the girl you are getting hot-and-heavy with hasn't shaved her legs in a month. Where did the girl come from? How does someone fall asleep during sex if there are two dudes? Steve would be trying to figure out where he goes from there. |
| 6:58
| Jason's worst bedding crasher incident involved a college fling named "Chuck". They'd been seeing each other for a few weeks and had never gotten past first base. Steve didn't know they had bases in the gay community. |
| 6:59
| They had only rounded second once. What does that mean? It's usually coping a feel on a girl, when you're 14. That seems unnecessary if there are two guys. |
| 7:00
| One night they decided to go further and after many, many drinks they were very close to getting to third when "Chuck" had a weird look on his face. Jason moved away just in time to get clear of the puke. |
| 7:01
| This is a column? Steve's not saying he's Mike Royko but this is a column? A few years ago one of Jason's friends "Ralph" was getting busy with a guy he used to hook up with for some NSA fun. Oh boy. Steve just read ahead a little bit. |
| 7:02
| "Ralph" accidentally grabbed a bottle of liquid Band-Aid instead of some lube. They now laugh about the whole thing. Dave and the guy whose nose he bloodied never saw each other again. |
| 7:03
| Jason and Chuck ended it after the puking incident. If a guy pukes on himself, just cover it with his shirt and flip him over. |
| 7:04
| Steve can't think of any buzzkill moments for him. Nothing kills his buzz. |
| 7:05
| News with Buzz |
| 7:06
| Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton finally had the meeting that Democrats have been clamoring for. They did not discuss the details but Hillary will endorse Clinton on Saturday at an event in Washington, DC. |
| 7:07
| Buzz has some audio, but it says "Letterman". Steve didn't mean to mess up his timing. Before he continues Steve needs to make a phone call. |
| 7:08
| Steve calls down to the newsroom. He knows Jim is distracted because he just got engaged but how about a something like "Letterman (Clinton)" Steve congratulates Jim on his engagement though, did Buzz know? |
| 7:09
| Buzz actually found out and he recommended that Jim wait 20 years to get married. That's what Buzz did and he's a genius. He was nailing chicks until he was 50 and now he's married. |
| 7:10
| Now he doesn't have to do anything because his family is worried he's going to die. Buzz dying so he doesn't have to do anything. Sure he could take out the garbage but he might die doing it. So he just gets to sit there, that's the safest course of action. It's genius! |
| 7:11
| Buzz did tell Jim that if you find the right person you can't pass them up. Jim probably couldn't hold his girlfriend off for 20 years. Did Jim do something dorky like baking the ring into a cake? He actually cooked it into a hamburger. |
| 7:12
| Jim made dinner at their place, they're cohabitating. Jim knows that Steve disapproves of people living in sin. Jim thought about that before they moved in together. Jim made dinner since he's home all day. Isn't he the little bitch? |
| 7:13
| He made steaks on the Webster, it was a perfect day for it. The fire got really hot, like California brush fire hot. So they finished dinner and then Jim got down on one knee and asked her. Danielle freaked out and said yes before even looking at the ring. She did like the ring though. You don't want a girl who doesn't like the ring though do you? It's more about Jim being on one knee than the ring. He's got the bad knee anyway from his days as a catcher in the minors. |
| 7:14
| They'll probably get married sometime next Spring or Summer. That's plenty of time to get out of it. It seems like you need about a year to plan a wedding, if Jim needs any help he shouldn't hesitate to call Steve or Buzz. Buzz would love to help with the arrangements, booking the hall, calling the caterer. Buzz did mention Medieval Times, that piqued JIm's interest. He'll run it by the in-laws. |
| 7:15
| Jim and Danielle are both Catholic so they'll probably get married at DePaul since they both went there. Steve didn't know Jim went to DePaul. They have a great church but there's no jousting. |
| 7:14
| Barack Obama says rumors are destructive in politics. He's reacting in response to a reporters question about a rumor that his wife uttered the word "Whitey" in a video. She's at an event with Louis Farrakhan in the video. |
| 7:15
| St. Sabina parishioner's met with Cardinal George to demand Father Pfleger be reinstated immediately. It's only a 2 week suspension! Pfleger was supposed to marry a couple this weekend though. Steve can do it for them or Tom Dressen could send his money into the Universal LIfe Church and he could marry them. He looks like Tom Dressen and they have the same sense of humor. |
| 7:16
| Actress Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman, was canoeing in the Potomac River when she came across a body. She flagged down a boat, they called the police and she left without talking to reporters. |
| 7:17
| A video analyst testifying for the defense in the R. Kelly trial told jurors yesterday that a mole that appears in the sex tape is actually not a mole but residue. |
| 7:18
| This guy admitted that he has no formal training as a video analyst though, he just picked it up on his own. He also took the video and doctored it, removing the heads off both bodies. That's not as impressive as if he would have put someone else's heads on the bodies like Tom Cruise. |
| 7:19
| Investigator Jack Palladino also testified that he assumed Lisa Van Allen and her fiance were trying to solicit a bribe when they met with him. |
| 7:20
| Palladino charged Kelly $14,000 grand and the prosecutor pointed out that he didn't get much for all of that. All they have to do is muddy the waters a bit though. |
| 7:21
| The City Council zoning commissions has approved plans to move the Children's Museum from Navy Pier to Grant Park. |
| 7:22
| A former metro Atlanta teacher is out on bond on disorderly conduct after allegedly threatening an unruly student, saying he'd rip the student's eyes out. |
| 7:30
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 7:31
| Brendan's here for a recap of the R. Kelly trial for the week. They have Fridays off to do some housekeeping. You'd think they could do that in the morning before court begins at 11 am or after it's over at 3 pm. That's a long day. |
| 7:32
| Yesterday the defense whipped through their witnesses all of them countering prosecution witnesses. It got a little boring until they brought in Jack Palladino, the celebrity PI. He's got a sweet PI name. |
| 7:33
| That's the guy Buzz was talking about who went to Atlanta. Then the prosecutor pointed out that Palladino was paid $14,000 to get a guy to tell him he just wanted to protect his family. He got a little theatrical with a fake gasp to the jurors. |
| 7:34
| It said in the Tribune that Palladino one upped the prosecutor by saying he had a tape of everything. It didn't really seem like he one-upped him though. |
| 7:35
| Brendan thought he did one-up him. Palladino seems like a cool customer. Is he the kind of PI Steve would want to hire? |
| 7:37
| Then they had the video analyst who has no formal training in video analysis. He testified that the video was edited but that could have been R editing in camera. Buzz does that all the time when he makes his homemade pornos. |
| 7:38
| The video analyst said that the video was not edited in-camera but that was just his educated guess. He had some explanation involving a point where the girl dipped her head down and how long it took on the video compared to how long it would really take. |
| 7:39
| Both sides agreed that the tape they had was a third or fourth generation copy. They can't just tell whether it's R. Kelly or not? If Steve was on a tape nailing some chick people would be able to tell it's him. |
| 7:40
| Maybe someone would be able to tell if it's Steve if there's someone out to get him. There are people out to get Steve. |
| 7:41
| Brendan has seen the tape and he can say that the guy in the video has a resemblance to R. Kelly. |
| 7:43
| If Steve were the defense he'd be doing his best to find out where that tape came from. They don't seem to care about that, all they want to do is say that it's fake. |
| 7:44
| Then they have the video expert with no formal training. Steve's not saying he can't know if the tape was doctored though. He does have training in other aspects of filmmaking though. |
| 7:45
| Steve would love to see the video of the two people having sex without heads. It would be a great souvenir if you could put your own head on R. Kelly's body. |
| 7:46
| If Steve were the prosecutor he'd also be asking how that tape became so widely distributed. It was on every street corner in every major city. Someone did point that out and wondered how much money could be made by one mastermind. It doesn't have a mastermind feel to it, it seems more like a viral video. |
| 7:47
| Brendan will be back on court for Monday. He's not sure what's on the docket but it seems like it should be over very shortly. |
| 7:48
| They might bring in the parents of the alleged victim to say it's not her in the tape. You wouldn't want to bring the girl in in case there's a resemblance. If the parents say it's not there own daughter, that's a good finish. The defense rests! Then you hear Ed Genson's scooter zipping back to the desk. |
| 7:55
| Steve knows it's not 8 yet but he can't wait any longer. It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Today Steve and Buzz are having Crunchy Tacos from the Why Pay More Menu. |
| 7:56
| It's time for a report from Peanut Butter, Pat Boyle. |
| 8:00
| There ya go, that's Peanut Butter. Steve thought that would be good while they were eating their tacos. |
| 8:01
| There's something in the Sun-Times that Steve needs Buzz to explain to him. First of all though, there was that Mancow tape from earlier in the week about Barack Obama. It's completely deranged. Can we hear that again? |
| 8:02
| What is this about again? Obama left his church right and Mancow was commenting on it? Do we know why Mancow goes to church in Indiana when he lives here? |
| 8:03
| You have to think that the further south Mancow goes the more his IQ gets matched up to everyone around him. |
| 8:04
| Actually it was about the Father Pfleger thing. Cardinal Bernadin came out against Pfleger, apparently from beyond the grave. |
| 8:05
| Was Buzz the one that Mancow is talking about, the Obama supporter who said the hoped someone killed Mancow? |
| 8:06
| Mancow refers to this tape of Michelle Obama on a racist rant, that's the "Whitey" thing Buzz was referring to in the news. Steve looked into that, right now it's just a bunch of bloggers speculating about who has the tape. |
| 8:07
| Why are they even asking Mancow what he thinks about this? Buzz doesn't understand why this Fox show got another hour added to it since the ratings are so bad. |
| 8:08
| Steve's pretty sure that only Buzz and Rob Feder care about that show being an hour longer. They probably did it just because they can make more money on ads. They must have paid Mike Barres a pretty penny to come back here. |
| 8:09
| Maybe they're trying to drive Mike out of here by working him so much since they paid so much to get him here. |
| 8:10
| Mancow claims that the mainstream media doesn't care about any of this and isn't reporting it. But they are reporting it. |
| 8:11
| Mancow says that Cardinal Bernadin has arranged for him to meet with The Pope. Once again that's Cardinal George, Cardinal Bernadin is dead. |
| 8:12
| OK, now Steve has a three-pronged attack here. Someone sent Steve an email with a link to an auction Mancow won. It's a trip to Rome and it's for some church charity. |
| 8:13
| Steve's going to take a break and look for that letter. Then he has this Sun-Times article. Mancow talks about his friendship with Chris Farley. |
| 8:14
| Who keeps hiring Mancow to do anything? He must have a really good agent. He's on channel 11! That seems way worse than having Jerry Springer on NBC. |
| 8:21
| Alright Mancow, radio shock jock and Fox News regular, won a trip for two to Italy and an audience with the Pope. It was arranged by an area Bishop. He can probably walk you through the Vatican but you don't get to sit down with the Pope. |
| 8:22
| OK now the third part. There's this thing in the Sun-Times about Mancow and Chris Farley. Steve doesn't understand why it's in the paper though. |
| 8:23
| In the Second City the second most famed skyscraper is the John Hancock. Jerry Springer lived there, Mancow had his show there and Chris Farley lived there. |
| 8:24
| There's also a Cheesecake Factory in the basement so Chris and Mancow worked and ate in that building. Chris and Mancow would hang out in Chris' clown-adorned condo. |
| 8:25
| Chris would demand that Mancow studied the clown art. After a while they would look spooky. Chris had a framed photo of him and Paul McCartney. He'd marvel at it and tell him how proud he was of it. It was Chris' favorite moment from SNL. That was a good sketch. |
| 8:26
| There's a great new book which takes it's title from that sketch. It was written by Tom Farley, Chris' brother, and some guy named Tanner Colby. Some guy? |
| 8:27
| Mancow was interviewed in the book. His comments were conflicted and ugly. He wondered why Stanley Tucci is alive but Chris isn't. Buzz wants to know why he's picking on Stanley! |
| 8:28
| In Chris' condo there was a mountain of cocaine. Mancow never did any with Chris but the lure of it was hard to resist after he died. |
| 8:29
| That's when Mancow actually called Steve to ask him about cocaine and drugs. Steve gave him some honest answers and then Mancow broadcast all of that on the air. |
| 8:30
| Then he sent Turd over to Steve's house to look through his garbage for leftover cocaine. There's always leftover cocaine and usually people just throw it out. Steve was waiting outside with a bat but Turd never showed because he was just hanging out at a White Hen. |
| 8:31
| One time Chris had a crazy idea that he and Mancow should be blood brothers. They saw at their hands with knives but there was no blood. They must have not being trying very hard. |
| 8:32
| The next time Mancow saw Chris he had a friendship bracelet on. He gave one to Mancow and it stayed on his arm for years. Steve would have taken that knife and cut it off right away. |
| 8:33
| One afternoon a typically fat Chicago cop on horseback dismounted and asked Mancow if he wanted to see something. Cops on horseback aren't fat! How could they be? |
| 8:34
| The cop produced a pre-autopsy photo of Chris with foam coming out of his mouth and blood coming from his nose. That whole story reeks of not being true, from the fat cop to the photo. That photo was in the Enquirer wasn't it? |
| 8:35
| After seeing the photo Mancow went into the church across the street from the Hancock and wept. Steve wants to read that again because it's so good. |
| 8:36
| When Chris and Mancow were hanging out Chris would often sing like Burl Ives. How many times does that happen when Steve and Buzz hang out? |
| 8:37
| One night Farley called Mancow, crazed. He had broken out of rehab and wanted to go see Chris Rock. Farley started out with a splash of liquor in a can of cola. Mancow knew where that was heading and tried to shut it down. Why didn't he just call it he rehab place? |
| 8:38
| This is a whole page in the Chicago Sun-Times, all because Mancow is in a new book about Farley? |
| 8:39
| It seems like Mancow has a lot of time on his hand. How long is his radio show? We should call Chino, California and find out. |
| 8:47
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:48
| Steve and Buzz are going to be doing some theater right now. Just so Buzz knows, Steve did not do the casting. Buzz will be playing wife Betty. Should he do a regular voice or Betty's voice? He's the actor, it's up to him. |
| 8:49
| Buzz's Betty is right on. Her voice sounds bad but she seems super hot. Did Steve's character marry a black woman? |
| 8:50
| Steve is supposed to call David at this point. He keeps dialing the wrong number though. |
| 8:51
| David's on the phone now but he's not following his script. He didn't get until this morning. We're sorry he didn't get a chance to read it this morning over his breakfast. |
| 8:52
| Richard is a lubricant salesmen and Betty is a CFO. David's still not following the script here though. |
| 8:53
| Mary told David that he didn't have to follow the script exactly. She was wrong though. It's David in SAG? Maybe Steve and Buzz don't want to even be working with him. |
| 8:54
| Richard and Betty decided not to go with David and instead went with a bank. Then a month later they called him back. |
| 8:55
| Steve is so method that he actually wants to hang up on David and then call him back. He'll just get a dial tone from the other line though. |
| 8:56
| This has been a dramatization of two idiots calling a loan guy who can't follow the script. |
| 8:57
| We're going to have to get David some acting lessons though. This isn't Curb where people just come up with ideas and start riffing. |
| 8:58
| Steve still thought it was a success though, Betty did a great job. Everyone, that's a rap for Betty, let's give her a round of applause. |
| 8:59
| Caller Garrett's name just reminds Steve that he wants some Garrett's popcorn. Where are they at now? They had to move from Michigan Avenue right? |
| 9:00
| Garrett is a deacon at a Northside church. He has met with the Pope. This is going back to Mancow saying Cardinal Bernadin lined up a meeting for him with the Pope. Garrett is very impressed with that since Cardinal Bernadin is dead. |
| 9:01
| Most times when the Pope has an audience it's in a huge room, about the size of the Chicago Theater. It's not really a one-on-one experience. |
| 9:02
| The Pope comes out surrounded by the Swiss Guard and usually someone will come out of the audience like a little kid who survived a hurricane or a nun who has given 70 years of her life to the church. It's all pre-arranged though. |
| 9:03
| When the Pope was last here someone paid $250,000 to go into the Pope's hotel room for 5 minutes. The good news is that you could take anything you wanted from the mini-bar. |
| 9:04
| So the audience with the Pope is more of a fly-by. If you're in Rome you can actually buy tickets for an audience with the Pope. |
| 9:05
| How about a spin of the wheel? Or does Garrett not want to be on record in case the Inquisition comes here. |
| 9:06
| Steve also offers Garrett a chance to sit in with the Blues Rocket Scientists tomorrow if he's going to be in Palatine. Buzz is like the Pope, giving people an audience with him. |
| 9:07
| Steve's on the Garrett's website store locater. It doesn't seem right that they put the two New York locations at the top. Garrett's is a Chicago store. |
| 9:08
| For some reason Dean Richards just popped up here. He's saying something but Steve can't get the audio working on his computer. It worked earlier when he played the Tony Joe White song though. |
| 9:09
| Steve has Elvis doing Polk Salad Annie, has Buzz ever heard this? Tony will be in on Monday and Steve and Buzz are going to jam with him. |
| 9:10
| Steve's being told if he clicks on a speaker he can hear The Deaner. He's interviewing Halle Berry and has a surprise for her that makes he scream. Steve would like to give her a surprise that makes her scream. |
| 9:11
| Halle loves Garrett's popcorn so Dean Richards brought her some. She is so freakin' hot. Why would anyone dump her? She was married to Eric Benet who ended up being a sex addict. |
| 9:12
| Steve has to question Garrett's loyalty to Chicago if they put the New York locations first. Plus they moved their store off Michigan Avenue. Although that might have been because the building was closing. |
| 9:13
| Caller Derek met Steve at the Hawks game, it was his first one. They won that weightloss competition on WGN. |
| 9:14
| Derek went to a benefit Eric Benet did, he's a musician. He did his show, then the lights went down for about 3 minutes. Next thing you know he's coming down the middle aisle and he's singing and all the women loved it. |
| 9:15
| Garrett's moved from it's flagship store at 670 N. Michigan Avenue. It was supposed to move on May 30th but he building's landlord granted them an extension. |
| 9:16
| They must move to make way for a Ritz-Carlton condo development. It also means the end of Hanig's Footwear. Buzz is very aware of that shoe store but he doesn't buy anything there. |
| 9:17
| Buzz has a compulsion to window shop for shoes, it's been that way since he was a kid. It's almost like a fetish. He never buys though nor does he go inside the store. |
| 9:18
| Good news actually, Hanig's has opened a new location in Water Tower Place. |
| 9:19
| Garrett's has 5 stores in Chicago and 2 in New York. They will open two locations in concourse B and terminal 3 at O'Hare and another in New York. |
| 9:20
| The lines outside of Garrett's always amaze Buzz, even in the winter. It moves pretty fast but Steve wouldn't ever wait in line for popcorn. He can just send Stephanie or an intern. |
| 9:21
| Steve isn't a huge fan of cheese popcorn but he does like mixing it with the caramel. It's a nice sweet and salty contrast. Buzz wouldn't mind having that experience today. |
| 9:22
| Steve is guessing that everyone out in the hall thinks it's in Steve's best interest to not have a bag of popcorn right now. |
| 9:28
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:29
| News with Buzz |
| 9:30
| Presumptive seems like a weird word to use when talking about Obama. It makes him sound like a jerk. And it's not really a word we've used before. There are more questions than answers about a meeting between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. |
| 9:31
| Just in case Steve and Buzz didn't know Mark called in to tell them that they get nominated at the convention. Did Buzz know that? |
| 9:32
| Let's come up with a better word than presumptive. If there was a better one someone would have thought of it right? How about the future nominee? The alleged nominee? That sounds bad. Maybe Mark has a better word, he's good with the language. |
| 9:33
| The man accused of masterminding the September 11th attacks wants to die. It's the wish of Khalid Sheikh Mohammad to become martyred. |
| 9:34
| St. Sabina parishioners want Father Michael Pfleger reinstated. They met with Cardinal George last night but the results of that meeting are unknown. He'll be back in 2 weeks! |
| 9:35
| We've got Mark Czerniec on the phone. Steve didn't mean to sound bitchy earlier about the nomination. |
| 9:36
| We've got some people calling in with suggestions instead of presumptive. How about probable? Likely? Expected? Expected is good but it's hard for Buzz to say. And he's questioning David Hochberg's professionalism? |
| 9:37
| Presumptive just sounds so arrogant. How about likely? It's easy to say? If Steve and Buzz start using it, it'll catch on. Steve's also trying to get Hafrican-American out there. Buzz doesn't think anyone is going to touch that. |
| 9:38
| Barack Obama, the likely nominee for President, says he will not pardon Tony Rezko if he takes off. No one is looking at the positive side of the Rezko verdict which is that he got off on 33% of the charges. |
| 9:39
| A video analyst for the defense in the R. Kelly trial says that a mole on R. Kelly's back does not appear in the sex tape. If you don't see the mole it's not his pole. |
| 9:40
| The man accused of raping and murdering Jeanine Nicarico is now claiming that he was molested by John Wayne Gacy as a teenager. The man's death sentence is now being re-examined. |
| 9:41
| So if you got molested by John Wayne Gacy you can't get the death penalty? We better get Another Kid in the Crawl Pedro. |
| 9:42
| This just in, Paris Hilton is not pregnant. Her representatives are commenting on a story from US Weekly. |
| 9:43
| Former heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield has been saddled with monumental debts that he can't repay. Buzz is very disappointed to hear that. Those boxers always have a lot of hangers on. |
| 9:44
| Holyfield is now considering a rematch with Mike Tyson, which is sad. He needs the money and it's fun to watch Mike with that face tattoo. |
| 9:45
| Song: Another Kid in the Crawl, Steve Dahl |
| 9:54
| That's John Wayne Gacy explain paintings from his Hi-Ho series to Walter Jacobson, shortly before he was executed. The Disney people must have loved that. |
| 9:55
| Those were heady times, Jacobson and John Wayne Gacy. The only thing Steve has see that's better is the Richard Speck video. Some how Bill Kurtis got a hold of a video of Speck partying at Stateville. |
| 9:56
| In the video Speck is wearing a Lana Turner sweater, he has huge breasts and he's partying with two little black fellers and a mound of coke. |
| 9:57
| If you're in Stateville that must be like dating Paris Hilton, with another gentleman. We don't have any of that handy do we? |
| 9:58
| Live read: Sport Clips |
| 9:59
| Steve doesn't know if Pete has that audio and he doesn't know how to ask him without having the show end on a negative note. Pete doesn't have it. Steve doesn't really care, he doesn't want Pete to get bummed out, he does a good job here. |
| 10:00
| Pete's got a girlfriend living in New York with a hot actor who's not gay. And the guy asks Pete if he's ever tried Propecia! He was also recommending fish oil pills. Did Pete ask the guy for advice about his looks? |
| 10:01
| The Propecia means Pete can't knock the girl up, it keeps her on ice until this roommate can figure things out. Then he recommends fish oil because Pete's a little flaky. Then he's off to his audition for an all-white production of The Wiz. |
| 10:02
| Pete should look at it from the other side. What if he was single and had a female roommate. Her boyfriend comes to visit every other weekend. What would Pete do in that situation? |
