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| 5:31
| Goooooooooood morning everyone. How are you today Buzz? Buzz is super, as is Steve. He thinks he is at least. If you say you're super you're halfway there. |
| 5:32
| Steve's a little disappointed in himself because he forgot to put product in his hair. He didn't do anything to his hair. |
| 5:33
| Steve did shave today so apparently he can only groom one thing. Buzz prefers Steve's fluffy look although today he looks unkempt. Steve normally shaves once or twice a week. He's on the radio, what does he care? |
| 5:34
| Steve would like to once again recommend that shaving tip we got from the one listener about using cold water on their razor. Steve's had at least 50 guys come up to him and tell him that tip changed their life and these are guys who have to shave everyday. |
| 5:35
| Steve feels like he's let everyone down, looks-wise. He does have a sweet t-shirt on but it's covered up by his button-up shirt. It's the shirt Patrick gave him from the asparagus eating contest. |
| 5:36
| Steve saw little snot-nosed Tommy in the lobby today. Steve knows he works at a station in the building but he forgot which one. Instead of pretending he knew he just said "Forgive my ignorance but where are you working?" He's working at that Love FM station and he seemed happy. He doesn't have to do it himself, they've got a news girl. |
| 5:37
| He's working for Greg Solk who used to get Steve sandwiches. Love is a Bonneville station and since they're Mormons they still have some ethics, as opposed to the Wall Street idiots. |
| 5:38
| Buzz knows of a few afternoon DJs who would beg to differ about Bonneville. There was one guy at The Mix who got fired because he was too old. It made Buzz stop and think for sure. Steve's actually been trying to get rid of Buzz for a while but Todd thinks he'll just sue them. |
| 5:39
| Tommy Edwards is old too though. So people know who Tommy Edwards is? Buzz thinks if you say "Snot-nosed Tommy" people will know. It was 20 years ago though. It was so long ago that Kevin Matthews was able to steal Animal Stories. |
| 5:40
| Steve's pretty sure Tommy is back working for the Bulls too as their courtside announcer. He's the guy who came up with the intros and the Bulls coming out to Alan Parsons Project. But then he was replaced by Ray Clay during the championship years. |
| 5:41
| Steve and Tommy's relationship was somewhat strained because of Larry Lujack. Larry's an idiot though, he hates everything. He keeps coming back to Chicago radio and hates it, then he leaves and comes back. Why doesn't he just kill himself? Sometimes Steve sends Larry notes that say that. |
| 5:42
| Does Pete have any Larry Lujack bitching available? Pete goes right into the audio, normally he asks Steve to wait a couple of seconds while he pulls it up. This was back when Bob Sirott was on WTTW, before he was let go for not being pretentious enough. |
| 5:43
| Larry didn't like Chicago because of how crowded the expressways were. So let's all remember that when he tries to get another job here. He must have not realized that all those people stuck in their cars are potential listeners. You want to keep them in their car for as long as possible. |
| 5:44
| Buzz doesn't think Larry even gave an answer, it's just his attitude. Larry's a complete ass, there's nothing else you can say about him. Nothing else gets the job done like "Complete ass" |
| 5:45
| Steve likes to rail on Larry but only because of their history, which all stems from Larry being a complete ass. Buzz never really cared one way or the other, until he heard that Sirott interview. He got all that money working here and he complains. Get out of town then! |
| 5:46
| The animosity came from Larry moving to afternoons when Steve and Garry where there. They were more highly rated than Larry was but apparently Steve and Garry did not fit into the WLS morning show mentality so they were moved to middays. |
| 5:47
| All Larry did was Animal Stories, which played over and over again. The one from the day before got played early and then a new, recorded Animal Stories was played later. It seems like you'd want to do the new one live, that's half the fun of doing something like that. It's only fun if you have talent. |
| 5:48
| Steve and Garry were moved to middays and Steve blew that up within a week. They had to play 4 songs and 12 minutes of commercials per hour. Steve played the commercials and the songs at the start of every hour and then talked for the remainder of the hour. As you can imagine WLS did not like that. |
| 5:49
| If they didn't think Steve and Garry could do mornings then what were they doing there? This led to their dismissal within 4 days and then they moved to AM1000 afternoons. When Steve and Garry were up against Larry he failed miserably. He was so bad they paid him $1 million to go away. |
| 5:55
| Larry probably viewed that $1 million as a victory but Steve can't think like that. The station he was on when he left changed to Beautiful Music. He thought he was a bad ass for staying and playing that. |
| 5:56
| Whatever it takes to keep Larry out of town, count Steve in. No one is offering him anything but Steve read in the paper that he wants to come back. Larry's in Rob Feder's Rolodex so his name will come up. |
| 5:57
| Brendan is in studio today, it's a day off from trial. The jury needs time to cleanse their palate. It seems like the judge would want them to start deliberating while they remember everything. |
| 5:58
| This day off gives the prosecution and defense time to work out their closing arguments, maybe practice in front of the mirror with their note cards. |
| 5:59
| So what's the deal with the tape and the quality of the video? The prosecution gave the defense a copy of the tape on DVD which was compressed. The defense said they were OK with that though, didn't they? Buzz thinks this means R. Kelly's going to walk. |
| 6:00
| The jury doesn't know the tape is a lesser quality. You'd think the prosecution would want the highest quality tape used so you could see the mole. |
| 6:01
| If the jury doesn't know it probably doesn't matter though. We don't know if they will be told but that's why we have a court reporter. If Steve were the defense he'd want to get that out there though. |
| 6:02
| There was speculation yesterday that this could result in a mistrial which would be great for R. They'd catch up with him a nursing home before they got to the next trial. |
| 6:03
| Court will be back in session Thursday but they'll probably be off on Friday. Steve gets the feeling that judges like to take Fridays off. They probably think they're not properly compensated for a 5-day work week and maybe that's true. |
| 6:04
| Janet was on a Federal jury once and the judge spent a lot of the time trying to book flights for himself. It seems like a sweet gig though, Fridays off, people stand up when you want into the room, you get to wear the robes. |
| 6:05
| It seems like R. Kelly has been a model defendant though. Other than that time back in December when his bus got snowed in in Utah there have been no problems. |
| 6:06
| He spoke in court for the first time yesterday when he told the judge he wouldn't be testifying. He was getting very tired after lunch yesterday while the lawyers were talking to the judge. |
| 6:07
| Brendan got some information about R. Kelly's cologne. He thought it was Usher but some of Brendan's media cohorts asked his bodyguards who said "It's something French" but he didn't know the name of it. R. got it in a gift basket. Something French, that narrows it down. |
| 6:08
| Steve would go inert in court, what if someone found the cologne offensive? Steve would also go with an unscented deodorant. Buzz does that in his everyday life. The only overt scent he's attached to in anyway is Irish Spring soap. It's not inert but it is Spring-like. Does Buzz ever slice the soap open and show Piper the various layers? |
| 6:09
| The jury in the R. Kelly trial was told that the video they were watching was an exact copy but it actually lost considerable quality in the transfer from VHS to DVD. That just makes the prosecution's case harder to prove. |
| 6:10
| Buzz is starting to wonder if this thing should have even gone to trial. Now he's just coming down on the side of the pervert. Steve has found the entire thing very enjoyable. Let he who does not enjoy it cast the first stone. |
| 6:11
| Without the trial we wouldn't have ever seen the log cabin room. What Brendan doesn't know is that Buzz is having a log cabin room installed in his house. Now that he has that he doesn't care any more. |
| 6:12
| How could the prosecution not get the best quality version of the tape for the trial? If you can't do that then what's the point? You might as well just go work for the post office. |
| 6:20
| Someone called in and requested the tape of Larry Lujack walking in on Steve and Garry. |
| 6:21
| Larry had something in his contract where he'd do mornings for a few years and then get to move to afternoons. That didn't really work out for Larry or Wally Phillips. |
| 6:22
| If people are used to you in the mornings sometimes you don't want to move like Larry did. He was popular in the mornings but when you're talentless and you move like that it shows everyone who you really are. |
| 6:23
| Steve might have been bad-rapping Larry because he was taking his afternoon shift and WLS wasn't letting Steve move to mornings. |
| 6:24
| The tape Pete has is from 1985. That was around the time Steve and Garry were down in Miami for the Bears game. That's the one that Steve caused them to lose by having Les Grobstein on the sidelines talking to players. |
| 6:25
| When Larry walked in Garry was wearing a cast. He had the cast on because they did a show in Rockford and Garry, wearing some racing boots, slipped and fell before a concert. |
| 6:26
| So Garry had to go to the hospital so Steve wondered if he even had to pay him for the gig. Steve thought maybe he should teach Garry a lesson, he's the one who was wearing fancy Italian boots. Sure Steve had this Vans on but they have the waffle soles, that offers a little traction. |
| 6:27
| Someone is calling in to say that they were fry boots but Steve was there, he remembers. He was really mad that Garry wore those boots, then fell and now they had to wait for the ambulance. |
| 6:28
| That's not Steve's normal pre-show ritual. He likes to get there, do some blow, drink some whisky but instead he had to call Garry's girlfriend. Then after the show he had to go to the hospital. The girlfriend was acting like Garry had a brain tumor or something. |
| 6:29
| So Garry had the broken leg when Larry came in. Steve had to decide how much he wanted to defend his show and he wanted to see Larry fail more. He did fail but no one seemed to care. |
| 6:30
| Steve later asked John Gehron how he liked his new afternoon show but he said it was a different circumstance. So Steve left the studio when Larry came in, went downstairs and got hammered. |
| 6:31
| Larry was doing all sorts of weird stuff on the air after that like The Truth About Steve Dahl. At first it scared him but Larry didn't really know anything. It was just him talking about how Steve's fat and is a jerk but Steve already said that himself on the air. If Larry did know anything he was too afraid to say it. |
| 6:32
| How long is this audio? Pete's trying to figure it out. Is the time in Hebrew or Sanskrit, why does it always take Pete so long to figure that out? |
| 6:33
| Pete has it set up so the audio can be stopped so he can't see how long it is. Steve's saying everything he has to say now because he's going to turn the tape off and not listen. |
| 6:34
| There's a part of Steve that still wishes he would have punched Larry. But there was a very inviting bar in the basement of the Stone Container Building. This was the old Stone Container at Michigan and Wacker. They also had urinals that went down to the floor in the stairwells which was sweet. You get all the thrill of going in the stairwell but you're not going on the floor. |
| 6:35
| Buzz remembers standing at a urinal with his dad that went down to the floor. This is a troubling story, one that Buzz should be telling to someone with "Doctor" in front of his name. |
| 6:36
| So Steve and Garry are being replaced by Larry in the afternoons. WLS was going to let Fred Winston do mornings, which was also insulting, and Steve and Garry would move to middays. |
| 6:37
| So Steve is disgruntled and he is looking for a way out and he can't punch a man who's singing "Who's afraid of the big fat pig" on his own show. Do we have any of those Truth About Steve Dahl segments? Larry says in this tape that he's going to start that segment up. |
| 6:38
| It scared Steve because he wondered what Larry knew. Les Grobstein was with Larry at the time and he probably knew enough about Steve. But it was also stuff about Steve being fat and being a jerk. Steve's seen photos of himself from 1985 and that's indisputable. |
| 6:39
| That's enough of a set-up for this right? The Thanksgiving thing Larry refers to is that Steve was in Florida with his entire family for the holiday because they had to work. Steve made a turkey loaf in the microwave with white and dark meat. There's nothing like flaked turkey. |
| 6:40
| One of Steve's immutable showbiz rules is that he would never try to mess up someone else's show if he was a guess. That's sacrosanct. He might be a cut up though but he'd never try to mess it up. |
| 6:50
| It was pretty hard to reason with someone like Larry because of what he was doing on the air. Steve still regrets not punching Larry but who knows what would have happened after that. |
| 6:51
| After Steve left Larry stayed on until 7 and finished Steve's show. John Gehron said that Larry's show would be better once he had his own people in place. |
| 6:52
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "Do you attend sporting events just to get drunk?" 33% of the people said yes. It's admirable in a way that people are able to admit that but it does seem to indicate a real problem. There was a time that Steve would have included himself in that group, it was a good way to hide your alcoholism. You could drink 10 times more than everyone else if you didn't stack your cups. |
| 6:53
| Today's web poll question is "Have you been waiting for Pete Wentz to bring music back to MTV?" Steve's been waiting for Wentz to come out with his own line of make-up for men. Is Fall Out Boy really that popular? Because they don't seem very good. |
| 6:54
| Pete says they're huge, even outside of Chicago. They can sell out the Allstate Arena. Pete Wentz says his new MTV show is going to blow everyone's mind. Here's a showbiz tip, don't set yourself up like that. |
| 6:55
| The new show, F'in MTV, debuts Friday and will bring more music back to MTV. The first show will feature a performance by Panic! At the Disco |
| 6:56
| Wentz had an idea to have a show that only featured videos and MTV was a good place for it becuase it's Music Television. It will feature videos from Blink-182, The Cure, The Replacements and Michael Jackson. |
| 6:57
| Buzz doesn't get what the big deal is, is something groundbreaking happening? MTV doesn't really play videos any more. |
| 6:58
| Would Buzz like to hear more of a description of the show? MTV has music channels, like MTV2. So it's not hard to find music videos on TV. Mary says that MTV2 is not all music and she would know, that's all she watches. |
| 6:59
| Brendan, Mr. MTV Junior, says that MTV Jams is all music. MTV2 is more shows now. Brendan and Mary need to start watching some real TV. Brendan actually watches everything but Mary only watches MTV and the Golf Channel. |
| 7:00
| F'in MTV along with interactive competitions like America's Best Dance Crew and Making the Band further this generation's great musical democracy. Music shouldn't be a democracy, people aren't smart enough to know what they like. |
| 7:01
| So there you have it, Pete Wentz's 15 minutes are ticking away. Friday nights are going to be very exciting for Buzz between this and Swingtown, which he still hasn't watched. He keeps bringing the show up though. |
| 7:02
| Buzz is just waiting for Steve to watch Swingtown and tell him that it's groundbreaking television. Steve hasn't seen it but he knows that it's not. For starters it's on CBS. |
| 7:03
| Pete has seen the first episode, Buzz wants to know if they start swinging right away. It's CBS Buzz! All that they're going to show is a fish bowl with keys in it and then someone asking if anyone wants a Quaalude. |
| 7:04
| The woman who played Alma Garret on Deadwood is one of the swingers. She has red hair on the Swingtown. |
| 7:05
| Buzz just wants to know if there was any swinging. Why doesn't he just watch the show? He's got it on TiVo! Buzz sat down to watch it with Aimee last night but couldn't do it because it seems creepy. So why is he talking about it?! |
| 7:06
| In the first episode the airline pilot brings a stewardess home for a threeway. If it was on HBO or Showtime it would be worth the time. That way you could see some people getting naked and doing coke on the waterbed. |
| 7:07
| Buzz is more intrigued by the local angle since it takes place in Wilmette. Steve read an interview with the creator, who went to New Trier, and he took out all references to Wilmette. So there's no mention about Mr. Beef or going to Weiner Circle? |
| 7:08
| Pete is starving for new programming during the summer months. He's been trying to get into Gossip Girl, which Janet watches. Steve makes her go into the back room to watch that. It's all about high school kids having sex, that gives Steve bad ideas. Next thing you know Brendan's reporting on Steve's trial, where he's sitting at the defense table in corn rows so he doesn't look like the guy in the tape. It's not a very flattering look. |
| 7:10
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 7:18
| Log on to Jack FM now to buy Jersey Boys tickets and receive a free Shell gas card and a free Greek Islands gift card. Also the first 5 callers win tickets to see Jersey Boys also. |
| 7:19
| Steve just brewed a nice cup of coffee for Buzz, he'd like to tell everyone in the audience about it. Something bad was happening on Buzz's end. |
| 7:20
| Buzz normally brings coffee from home which he reheats in the microwave throughout the morning. At some point around this time he runs out of that and goes to the radio station coffee. |
| 7:21
| Someone had cleaned the coffee machine, it was spotless, but they didn't make a new pot of coffee. He applauds the effort but there's no coffee. Who normally makes the coffee? Buzz thought it was an intern. |
| 7:22
| Steve's going to call our eyes and ears down the hall, Jim. He says he usually makes coffee in the morning and he did today. It did seem to Buzz like there was coffee in there, Jim's not sure if maybe the Fresh people drank some. |
| 7:23
| Steve doesn't like Buzz sharing coffee with the Fresh people. That morning guy with the big nose is a nice guy but he has no right to Buzz's coffee pot. Steve's going to look into this, until 10 am that is our kitchen. |
| 7:24
| Who would clean up the entire coffee area but then walk away without any coffee being made? Maybe it was the cleaning crew? Someone cleaned the coffee maker while we were here this morning. This is why Buzz is an investigative reporter. |
| 7:25
| So Buzz came down and he was in a dither. The beauty of Buzz's dither is that everyone, including Steve, springs into action. That's because the downside of Buzz's dither is so steep. Steve will get mad and throw stuff but 2 minutes later he's forgotten about it. Buzz has executed people on the downside of his dither, he has roaming death squads. It's his own military junta. |
| 7:26
| Steve didn't know what the problem was but Buzz was just walking around saying things like "Coffee!" and "Free trade my ass!" Steve made him some coffee from the Green Room and it's a great cup. It's one of those machines where you put the pod in. At some point Buzz likes the taste of bitter radio station coffee. We don't serve that in the Green Room. Steve couldn't help but notice that Mary brought Buzz a nice plate with cream and sugar on it. |
| 7:27
| You put this little pod in the machine and the tank is clear so you can see how much water is in there. Some are hooked up to a water line though. There's water in there that's already hot and you put the pod in and hit brew and 30 seconds later you have a cup of coffee. |
| 7:28
| They had this coffee maker at the car dealership, sometimes Steve goes there to get the free coffee, use their wifi and get a car wash. When they charge you $500 for a oil change it seems like you should be able to stop by whenever you want. There are a lot of systems but this Keurig one, which is German, seems like the original one. |
| 7:29
| Steve's going to let Jim go because it sounds like he's flossing or something. We don't need him any more, he probably needs to get back to looking for a banquet hall. Steve and Buzz get invited to a Jim kid's wedding right? Absolutely, Jim can't wait to see them there. They're thinking sometime in May or June of '09. |
| 7:30
| Would Jim like Steve to bring in the wedding countdown clock that they used for Pat's wedding? Because now it's counting down to nothing. The whole concept of that freaked Steve out and if he were Pat he probably wouldn't have gotten married. Not that Rachael isn't a nice girl but the clock seems like a death row countdown. |
| 7:31
| It did work for Steve because he couldn't wait to stop hearing about the wedding. Although he's still hearing about the wedding now. So Jim should look forward to that. He doesn't mind, this is a softer, gentler groom. You had to drag Steve kicking and screaming to everything, that's the way it should be. |
| 7:32
| Well good luck to Jim, she seems like a nice girl. Certainly way better than anyone would think Jim could get. He's way over his skis on this one. They're cohabitating which Steve frowns on as a man of the cloth. They'll have to go through some Pre-Cana with Steve, it's quite graphic. That might fill Buzz's swingers need. It's a very intense, nude Pre-Cana on a water bed. It's filled with holy water, it's a holy water bed. You get a video too like the one Steve got after his golf lesson. |
| 7:33
| Turns out Steve wasn't done with Jim but he is now. Buzz is welcome to use Steve's coffee maker whenever he wants though. |
| 7:34
| Adam should probably make a video of Steve's coffee maker and put it up on Dahl.com. Pretty soon there will be a video of Steve's golf lesson up there, which he's not crazy about. |
| 7:35
| Steve did go for his golf lesson yesterday. No one believes Steve when he says he can't hit the ball at all but after seeing him try to hit the instructor now believes him. But by the end of the lesson Steve was hitting the ball with some regularity. |
| 7:36
| So Steve was convinced to put the video up on Dahl.com against his better judgment. The whole thing was set up by a listener who was waiting for Steve at the golf course. Steve spilled Diet Coke on himself while he was putting his shoes on and the guy cleaned that up, then he drove Steve to the lesson on a golf cart. |
| 7:37
| Ernie Banks was there, he stopped by also. Some how Ernie knows Steve even though they've only met 5 times. How does Ernie know Steve but Minnie Minoso, who Steve's met 100 times, doesn't? |
| 7:38
| Minnie is supposedly some sort of White Sox ambassador, you'd think he'd remember some of the season ticket holders. Dan Pasqua is another guy who never remembers Steve. Maybe if Steve asked him about the pot that got mailed to him he'd remember him better. |
| 7:39
| So Steve's going back for another golf lesson next week. Golf is not something you can learn on your own though. Part of Steve felt bad ruining the grass though. He doesn't like watching golf when they ruin that perfect lawn. |
| 7:40
| If Steve can golf he can go to those charity tournaments. Usually it's just jocks at those things and if you're out there whiffing they're on you after 20 seconds. |
| 7:42
| Steve's still against that video going up. Steve would like a video of himself making Buzz a cup of coffee wearing nothing but an apron. |
| 7:43
| Caller Marianne is from Oak Park but she's on her way into the city. Does she live in a Frank Lloyd Wright house? In Steve's mind all of the houses in Oak Park are Frank Lloyd Wright houses. Does she drive a Frank Lloyd Wright car, is it all boxy and wooden? |
| 7:44
| Marianne just finished reading a book about Frank Lloyd Wright. That's the one about him and his mistress, he was a wild guy. Steve wouldn't mind reading something like that even though Reading is for Losers. Marianne didn't call in to get all intellectual on Steve, she wanted to talk about Minnie Minoso |
| 7:45
| Marianne's not going to say how old she is but she remembers going to Sox games with her dad when she was under 10 years old. Her dad told him to watch Minnie because he's famous for putting his head right into a pitch. So maybe that's why he doesn't remember Steve. |
| 7:46
| Minnie looked very old to Marianne even back then. He is about 50 years older than Ernie Banks. Buzz actually saw Minnie play in the first baseball game he ever went to. Steve thinks he might have a vision problem, his eyes are yellow and glassy. |
| 7:47
| Caller Sue wanted to let Steve know that the name of that Frank Lloyd Wright book is Loving Frank. Is it good? If you like Frank Lloyd Wright and reading about nutty people you'd probably like it. |
| 7:48
| Steve likes reading about nutty people and he likes books about Chicago. He also likes those Frank Lloyd Wright homes. He remembers a couple he knew that lived in a house designed by a Wright disciple, they couldn't stop talking about it. Steve lives in a Centex. |
| 7:49
| Should Steve buy a copy then? Reading is for losers, is this a novel or is it all true. It's true but it's presented as fiction. Steve doesn't like that. One of the biggest disappointments of his limited reading life is when he picked up a book about the U.S. Government giving Native American tribes 10,000 white women. That sounded crazy but of course it wasn't true. If Steve's going to read something about history he wants it to be all true. |
| 7:50
| Maybe Steve will see if there's another book in his Amazon Treasure Chest. Barbara Walters? Steve doesn't really want to read that book, it seems like all of the good stuff was already on TV. She had an affair with a married senator and now she regwets it. |
| 7:51
| Sue recommends the new David Sedaris book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames. Steve read one of his books, it was short stories. The first story was the funniest thing Steve ever read but the rest of them weren't as good. |
| 7:52
| Sue lives up in Vernon Hills where they have or had a Baja Beach Club. Steve once got paid to go up there on Halloween, it's like taking candy from a baby. |
| 7:53
| Should Steve got hardcover for this book? That might be his only option, other than Kindle, whatever that is. |
| 8:00
| Before we move on here Steve just wanted to that his coffee maker, the Keurig, is actually from Massachusetts. It seems German, even the name. It must be German engineering. It's a good cup of coffee though, almost too good. Buzz can't get used to coffee that good. |
| 8:01
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:02
| News with Buzz |
| 8:03
| Forecasters are saying yet another round of storms will hit the already storm soaked Midwest. Three men have drowned in Indiana floods. The latest round of flooding has Governor Blagojevich naming more disaster areas. He's not just talking about his hair either. |
| 8:04
| A measure that would have imposed windfall penalties on the largest oil companies and rolled back tax breaks for them was stopped by the Republicans. |
| 8:05
| Part of the reason the oil companies have windfall profits is because we don't allow them to dig in Alaska or build refineries. There are entire states that could be refineries and Steve wouldn't care. The people who live there wouldn't care either, they probably need the jobs. |
| 8:06
| President Bush says in retrospect he now wishes he would have used a different rhetoric on the world stage during the Iraq invasion. This words gave the world the impression that he couldn't wait to get to war. |
| 8:07
| A resolution to impeach Bush has been introduced in the House by Dennis Kucinich. He's done in January! He's supposed to do that because it helps with the election right? |
| 8:08
| Fox News anchor E.D. Hill is apologizing for a controversy she started last week while teasing a piece about body language and Barack Obama and his wife bumping fists. |
| 8:09
| Apparently she made some sort of link between the fist bumps and terrorists. Do terrorists bump their fists? We've never seen a presidential candidate bump fists. What does it mean? Is it a gang sign? |
| 8:10
| Buzz remembers being at a restaurant and bonding with a waiter for some reason. The waiter put his fist out and Buzz had no idea what that meant or what he was supposed to do. Did he just leave him hanging there? |
| 8:11
| Does Buzz want to hear more about this fist bump? Steve has the audio of this body language report. This E.D. woman is pretty cute. |
| 8:12
| Athletes fist bump all the time, especially baseball players. Buzz wants to know when it started though. Maybe this could be part of his special report. |
| 8:13
| Obama patted his wife on her ass, why isn't anyone talking about that? That was awesome! |
| 8:14
| Bill Kurtis is here to fill Buzz in on some info he's lacking. This is the History of the Fist Bump. The origin of the fist bump is murky The handshake evolved into the gimme five hand slap, then the high five and now the fist pump. |
| 8:15
| Personally, Steve prefers the fist bump because sometimes he misses the high-five. There's too much touching on the high-five, especially if it's a double high-five. It's like the missionary position in sex. |
| 8:16
| Some claim the act of knuckle bumping began in the 1970s with NBA players. Others claim the fist pumps national debut happened off the court with the Wonder Twins. |
| 8:17
| The New York Times described the fist bump stuffily as a closed-fist high-five. Human Events described it as being similar to a Hezbollah fist jab. Well there you go. |
| 8:18
| What's Human Events? It must be Conservative right? It's a weekly Conservative magazine established in 1944. |
| 8:19
| Modern day high-five enthusiasts have invented a modern high-five using cellphones. They slap their phones or hit the 5 key. |
| 8:20
| The problem with the high-five is that it can be hard to pull off, as Steve pointed out. Tiger Woods and his caddy botched a high-five on national TV in 2005. |
| 8:21
| Most pundits did say that the fist bump between the Obamas showed a little more spontaneity between them. |
| 8:22
| What about the ass-slapping? Obama has a fine-looking wife if you ask him. Obama said the fist-bump reflects a marriage that keeps him grounded. It explains exactly what he likes about his wife. |
| 8:30
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Wednesdays are usually when Steve reads a story Outside the Bun from a listener but he doesn't have one today. Instead he's going to remind people to send their stories to Tacos@dahl.com |
| 8:31
| Don't forget about the Why Pay More Menu with items that are 79¢, 89¢ and 99¢. And those Fruitistas are quite refreshing. |
| 8:32
| Tyrone's checking in with some traffic. He'll high-five or fist bump with Buzz every time. They've never done that have they? |
| 8:33
| It was really sad because Steve's machine was set to Joe Bee. Steve created a character for that guy and then he punked out! |
| 8:34
| Steve's going to change the character to Moe Squito but it hasn't quite been mosquito season yet. If Steve creates a character for you he expects at least a year of live reads. |
| 8:35
| Mosquitoes have stingers but Steve has to make sure it's male mosquitoes. Only female bees have stingers which is totally backwards. |
| 8:36
| On I-80 westbound near 53 two semis crashed with a car. The car is totaled and sitting in the middle of the road. There's always stuff on I-80 because there are too many trucks. |
| 8:37
| Alright back to Buzz in the news room. Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers have launched a website that details their alleged relationships with President Clinton. |
| 8:38
| It features the two women in various poses and asks people to pay $1.99 for full access to the site. It seems like a marketing nightmare that Gennifer Flowers spells her name with a G. |
| 8:39
| They've both had a lot of work done on their lips. And why are they finally putting this out now? This site is sort of like if Kathy and Judy both put slept with the mayor and put it all on a website. |
| 8:40
| Steve doesn't get why women do that to their lips. Now both of them look like Melanie Griffith. It's not a good look, everyone looks like a platypus. |
| 8:41
| More rules are needed to prevent an increasing number of airline incidents caused by pilots falling asleep. That's the conclusion of a new NTSB report. USA Today reported that crashes linked to pilot fatigue have killed 249 people since 1997. That's not that many. If Steve was one of those people he probably wouldn't think that. Back in the day flight attendants used to bring pilots some coke to keep them up, then they'd bring the girl home for some swinging. You can't do that these days though. |
| 8:42
| The woman who claims she took photos of Oscar de la Hoya in fishnets is dropping her defamation lawsuit. The woman who is called an occupational stripper, dropped the suit last Saturday. |
| 8:43
| De la Hoya denied the photos were real and experts ruled that they were fake. Those are pretty good fakes. If Steve's R. Kelly he tries to use that. |
| 8:44
| P. Diddy is setting the record straight, probably just to keep Steve quite. Reports earlier in the week said that he had changed his name back to Puff Daddy but a video post from Diddy denies any name change. Good God almighty. He's famous for changing his name! Why is he famous?! |
| 8:45
| The Chicago City Council is set to hold their final vote today over the controversial Children's Museum relocation. You have to wonder why they're moving it from Navy Pier, which is a huge tourist destination. |
| 8:46
| Then the whole thing because this huge hot-button issue, even though there are all of these other things going on. There's a CTA train coming off the tracks every other day! Daley must think he owes something to the Pritzker's, who pretty much paid for Millennium Park. |
| 8:47
| Steve thinks they're just clearing the way for gambling at Navy Pier. He'd also like to see legalized prostitution over there. Gambling, prostitutes, a cone of those roasted nuts, it sounds great. |
| 8:55
| Steve hates P. Diddy and he doesn't even know him. He'd probably hate him more if he did know him. He's only famous for changing his name! |
| 8:56
| Caller Jack is from Austin but he's in the Loop now. Does he ever go out on that lake that Cedric Benson parties on? |
| 8:57
| Jack wanted to point out that boxers have been doing the fist bump for as long as they've been wearing gloves. Touch 'em up! Also hockey players can't shake hands so they bump fist. |
| 8:58
| Jack was a hockey player in high school and their coach made them take boxing lessons. It was supposed to make them better fighters but it didn't because it's two totally different styles of fighting. |
| 8:59
| Steve wants to know why no one is talking about Obama slapping his wife's ass. That says "Hell yeah, I'm getting some of that later!" |
| 9:00
| That lake that Benson was on seems funky, it looks like there's no shrubbery around the lake. Would Benson be hassled because there are a lot of white women on the boat? |
| 9:01
| Jack says Austin is pretty liberal, it's not really like that down there. He got stopped because he had 15 people on his boat and there have been a lot of drownings in that lake. Austin has become popular for bachelor parties, people fly in, get three sheets and get on a rented boat and then jump in. Then they're one sheet and they're under it. |
| 9:02
| Caller Ali is honored to talk to Steve. She grew up listening to Steve, moved away for 16 years but now she's back. She wasn't thrilled to move back but she's so glad Steve is still on the air. |
| 9:03
| Ali's in Lake Bluff but where was she before? Ali's actually in Lake Forest, Brendan is very loose on the details today. The unpaid interns were doing better with the phones! |
| 9:04
| How old is Ali because she sounds like jail bait. If only R. Kelly had just listened to Steve! Slap some braces on a girl and she looks like she's 15! |
| 9:05
| Ali just wanted to tell Steve how much she misses the Joe Bee character. Steve's trying to bring it back as a mosquito. The whole Joe Bee character fell apart on Steve when he found out that only female bees have stingers. The best part was showing Buzz his stinger. |
| 9:06
| Female mosquitoes also are the ones with stingers. This whole insect kingdom is not what Steve thought it would be at all. |
| 9:07
| Alright it's Bob and Ron time. Bob and Ron brought Steve a gift, even though he doesn't like when they bring him stuff. Mary's bringing it in, it wasn't open and it was last touched by Butcher Joe |
| 9:08
| It's the beef jerky from Paulina Meat Market. It got Buzz out of his chair, would he like some? Normally Steve doesn't like taking gifts from Bob and Ron, it could be tainted. |
| 9:09
| Bob should tell them to advertise more. Steve can see Bob really leaning on Butcher Joe to advertise. |
| 9:10
| Bob and Ron brought him the original but it tastes spicier than normal. Ron always thought you could make a sandwich with this beef jerky. Steve doesn't think you need to. |
| 9:11
| Vinyl is making a big comeback, Best Buy is going to start carrying vinyl. Steve saw that on ABC yesterday, Cheryl Burton did 5 minutes on it. Bob and Ron say you're welcome. |
| 9:12
| It seems like a stupid idea to Steve. Again, you're welcome. If people don't have a turntable they can buy one. Hopefully they'll sell them really cheap. |
| 9:13
| Steve prefers his iPod but if it's at Best Buy they must be coming back. Sales are up 33% on vinyl but that's up from nothing. |
| 9:14
| Were there record stores here called Licorice Pizza? Ron doesn't remember any but it sounds tasty. |
| 9:15
| This week we have the birthdays of three semi-important drummers, at least as important as drummers can be. First of all it's Frank Beard's birthday. He's the only guy in ZZ Top without a beard. |
| 9:16
| It's also Bun E. Carlos' birthday and ironically he's not a bunny, nor is he Hispanic. His drum kit came with all the standard equipment, plus an ash tray mounted to the kick drum. Finally we celebrate the birthday of Mitch Mitchell, drummer for the Jimmy Hendrix Experience. |
| 9:17
| Song; If Six Was Nine, Jimi Hendrix Experience |
| 9:22
| Oh yeah, that's some Jimi Hendrix Experience. Bob and Ron were going to come in for a slice of jerky but it's already been put away. If Mary doesn't come and take that jerky away Steve eats the entire pound. |
| 9:23
| Chef Hans is not here today, he's got a dish washer down. We couldn't not determine from his phone call if that is a machine or a person but he's a wreck. |
| 9:24
| If it's a person, Steve is fully capable of washing dishes in a restaurant. He did it and he enjoyed it. He likes the order of washing dishes. You take a dirty dish, you clean it, you stack it up to dry. It couldn't be more satisfying. |
| 9:25
| Steve would be more than happy to spend a shift washing dishes over there. Buzz spent about an hour at S & W last week and he was very inspired. That kitchen is fine tuned. |
| 9:26
| Hans made a chicken and Buzz watched then took it home. That's pretty much how it will be every week right? Buzz is going to have Hans making him a chicken every week like how he gets the spaghetti sauce from Gene & Georgetti. |
| 9:27
| Next week Buzz will actually make the chicken. The hardest part for him is going to be trussing up that chicken with Hans' special knot. |
| 9:28
| Alright we're going to talk to Peanut Butter in a bit and there's also some new Drew Peterson stuff. Steve has to take a break because we went a little long with Bob & Ron. |
| 9:29
| Caller Jim thinks Chef Hans is playing hooky on Steve. Switzerland is playing Turkey in the European Soccer Tournament at 10:30 today. He could still be on but then it wouldn't give him enough time to get home and get his fondue set up for the game. |
| 9:30
| Jim plans his work around the soccer tournament, whenever it's something big like this. Is he from this country because we don't really like soccer here. Jim's dad is Italian so he got him into it. He also supports the Fire, Steve should get into that. They've got premium seating and a lot of MILFs. |
| 9:32
| There's a photo of Drew Peterson in the Sun-Times, he's standing next to his pool looking fantastic. Steve can't figure out how to blow up a picture on his own but hDrew's wearing a t-shirt with a lot of words on it and it would be good to know what it says. |
| 9:37
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 9:38
| Let's say hi to Pat Boyle from Comcast Sportsnet. Pat's just chilling out at the Casa de Boyle. Was Pat on last night? Steve had to turn that Sox game off, he couldn't handle it. The Sox ran themselves right out of that game. |
| 9:39
| It was irritating because they could have won that game. Jose Contreras was off his game, he had a runner in scoring position in every inning. And then the Cubs win 10-5, blowing the doors off the Braves. |
| 9:40
| The Cubs started shaky, Ted Lilly gave up three in the first inning. Then he settled down. The Cubs are now 27-8 at home. The Braves got to within one run until the bottom of the 8th when Geovanny Soto, one of the unsung heroes of the team, did this... |
| 9:41
| Slow down Pat, Steve doesn't have the audio ready. The one time Pat actually winds up and has a set up Steve doesn't have the CD ready. He's too busy trying to read Drew Peterson's t-shirt. |
| 9:42
| He must be wearing it on purpose for the camera in the back of the Bychowski's house, it must say something good. |
| 9:43
| So Geovanny hit a 3-run home run in the 8th. That guy's a rookie right? He's really good. He hit the home run into the basket, although Lou needed some help remembering what they call that. |
| 9:44
| Lou apparently did some rapping for a promo for the Crosstown so everyone is looking forward to seeing that. That's coming up pretty soon right? And it's back-to-back weekends. |
| 9:45
| Steve wishes they would spread that out a little bit, especially this year because it means more. It could mean home field advantage in a Cubs/Sox World Series. |
| 9:46
| Home field is actually determined by the All-Star Game. You'll have to excuse Steve, the only thing he's focused on is figuring out what is on Drew's t-shirt. Steve wants Drew to come in but he really can't if he doesn't know what's on the t-shirt. |
| 9:52
| Drew Peterson's t-shirt says "It's not my job to blow sunshine up your a--" We called the guy who took the photograph. Steve would be willing to pay for a copy of that photo for framing in his office. |
| 9:53
| Drew's just going to tell Buzz what it is. Drew misses Buzz, he's been laying low since that whole thing with the tanning broad. He was broken hearted. Is that Pat Boyles on the phone? |
| 9:54
| How many times can Drew get his heart broken by a younger broad? It almost makes him want to date a broad his own age. Buzz doesn't think he should make any decisions yet. |
| 9:55
| Buzz knows, his second wife was probably just born today. It'll probably be more like his third or fourth wife. Drew's sixth wife was just born today, somewheres. |
| 9:56
| So Drew's on his pool deck, which puts him about 10 feet above the ground. You can see the Bychowski's backyard in the photo. Buzz didn't realize he was that close their house. |
| 9:57
| In the photo they've circled the photo that's on the Bychowski's house. Drew would like to read the article, unless Pat has any more sports. |
| 9:58
| Buzz actually was wondering about the Bulls new coach. Of all the days for Buzz to have a question, it's today! You think Vinnie del Negro talks like Drew? |
| 9:59
| Buzz is just wondering if this is a respectable decision by the Bulls. The Bulls certainly think it is but it's probably a money issue for them. They're trying to pick a guy who can fit in with Derrick Rose, who's probably going to be their #1 pick. |
| 10:00
| Drew thinks if you want to hire a basketball coach with no experience you should hire a rapper. What if Diddy was your coach? If you win you get to go to the VIP room for some Cristal. It's the equivalent of going to get ice cream if you win your baseball game. |
| 10:01
| Of course these days you get ice cream even if you don't win. There's no incentive any more. And it seems like all the basketball and football players are off their rockers. |
| 10:02
| You don't need experience to coach a basketball team, just put 5 guys out there and hope one of them is taller than everyone else. And if you win, you go to a club and Diddy makes it rain. |
| 10:03
| Pat wants to get Drew on Comcast next year with Norm Van Lier. He'd be happy to do any of their shows and he won't even wear his t-shirt. |
| 10:04
| That's all the time we have but that whole article was about Drew accusing the state police of using the Bychowski's to mount that camera. Then Sandy said something untoward to Drew's attorney. She feels threatened because Drew has her garage door opener. |
| 10:05
| Drew only had it because it was in Stacy's car. He found it and thought it would be funny to make it go up and down. There's nothing in that garage Drew wants. They loaned her that remote because apparently Stacy told them she was moving out. |
| 10:06
| Drew didn't know she was moving out, he would have beseeched her if he'd known. |
