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| 5:30
| Yes, Goooooooooood morning everyone. Buzz might know this, although maybe not because of how wrapped up in his pre-show fact-finding...was Jim standing in the studio muttering just before that song ended? Is Steve imagining that? |
| 5:31
| Steve calls down to the news room. Jim was not muttering in the studio, he hasn't even been in there today. He did see Steve walking down the hallway and said good morning. And Steve said good morning back. What a great co-worker Steve is. He's not just a boss, he's like your best friend. But he can't quite remember Jim. |
| 5:32
| Steve remembers but he had to write his Thought for the Day, which he wasn't 100% happy with in terms of comedy value, he had to go to the bathroom and time was ticking plus he heard a Jack promo promising a bunch of songs in a row even though we only had one to play. |
| 5:33
| Steve said something and was told we had two songs but one was dropped. It seems like we should drop one before the break. If anyone is listening to hear Talking Heads Wild Wild Life or whatever it's called is going to be disappointed when they don't hear Jet Airliner. |
| 5:34
| We're not in charge of dropping songs down here but Steve mentioned it to Mary and she's going to pass it along. It's unfair to us though, we don't have another song. We have the theme, is that considered a song? |
| 5:35
| Buzz wouldn't call it a song, a song has lyrics. Jim thinks it's an instrumental piece. When he's talking about his favorite classical music he talks about his favorite piece by his favorite composer. |
| 5:36
| They're very afraid to drop things at Jack FM because there are a different categories of music. But if Steve has to cut the song it makes him look like an ogre. Steve could play another song but it wouldn't be in a row, the streak has been broken. Steve doesn't mean to start off on a negative note |
| 5:37
| Steve watched Nashville Star last night, as did Buzz. Steve's not sure where they got these people from. At least on American Idol they're some what talented. |
| 5:38
| Buzz thought it was Toby Keith telling one girl that she was good but not great, but that she had the potential to be great. That was actually Rich from Big & Rich. |
| 5:39
| That was the bigger girl right? There was one girl who sort of looked like Wynonna Judd if she got fat. Is she the one who got fat? Steve's not saying it was a bad look though. |
| 5:40
| Buzz might be talking about someone different. Was she the girl who sang the George Jones song? Buzz only caught a little of it when he was making spaghetti. |
| 5:41
| Steve likes watching it for Rich of Big & Rich. He's funny and mean, sort of like Simon only he's an actual musician. It's also fun to watch Billy Ray Cyrus because he's an idiot. |
| 5:42
| Steve doesn't know the girl Buzz is talking about. There was one girl who sang a George Jones song and she sort of had an outdated look. Then there was a girl after her who sang Natural Woman and she was sort of fat. She probably should have gone with a dress. |
| 5:43
| Buzz is reading way too much into this show. All of the people seem pretty much talentless. The contestants were all advised against singing the songs they selected and they didn't take it. |
| 5:44
| The one girl who did take Rich's advice did well. He told her to sing Every Breath You Take which is an easier song to do. She sort of looked like Reba McEntire. Steve's not sure why he was watching this though. The big moment of the night was showing Ryan Seacrest's parents in the audience. |
| 5:45
| American Idol is lame but Nashville Star is uber lame. Steve just likes watching it for Rich of Big & Rich. One contestant came out and sang their song Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy and Rich liked it so much that he started jamming along. |
| 5:46
| Steve's voice is a little hoarse, he was yelling at the dog for about a half hour last night. Matt Dahl made Steve dinner on Sunday and he got a salad from Lou Malnati's. It came with two dressings but Steve only needed one. |
| 5:47
| Even though the cleaning lady came yesterday the container of dressing stayed on the counter all day. As soon as Janet left for a meeting the dog went up on the counter and grabbed it and then took it into the back room and spilled it all over the counter. |
| 5:48
| So it's salad dressing in a carpet which Steve was not in the mood to clean. So he was yelling that to the dog and saying he was in the mood to kill something. For the next 29 1/2 minutes he just walked around yelling. |
| 5:49
| Then Steve pulled out the carpet cleaner. The dog actually waited to open the container in the back room too. And what kind of dog eats salad dressing? Especially after it just ate?! Of course Steve didn't do anything to the dog. |
| 5:50
| So Steve and the dog aren't on speaking terms right now. It just seems wrong for the dog to use Steve's Father's Day salad dressing against him. But he's pretty sure he got all the stain out. |
| 5:51
| Then Steve started watching Nashville Star. It's surprising that none of the contestants are all that talented though. Are people just signing up at Opryland? |
| 5:52
| The show has been on for a few years, first on Country Music Television. Nancy O'Dell used to host it but she had it stolen away by Billy Ray Cyrus, because he's Hanna Montana's dad. He's a moron though. If you want to feel better about yourself, watch him host that show. |
| 5:53
| Buzz watched the show when it was first on and the contestants seemed like established talents already. Plus Nancy O'Dell isn't bad to look at. She used to be on whatever how Pat O'Brien got fired from him. Hopefully she kept her distance from him because he's nothing but bad ideas. |
| 5:59
| Steve's having some trouble restarting his computer and the commercial computer was not working as well. Steve had his man Adam in here fixing his computer. Apparently he's wearing his boyfriend's shirt. |
| 6:00
| Adam wears a boys small but his shirt is like a 2X. Adam slept over at Steve's and is wearing his shirt. It's the opposite of Pete and Jim who wear their shirts very tight. You couldn't even slip a quarter underneath them. That's because they have manly physiques to show off. |
| 6:01
| Caller Rich used to watch Nashville Star on CMT, it used to be individual performers but now they're split into groups and mentored by a judge. |
| 6:02
| Jeffrey Steele is mentoring two 17-year-old girls. He said he felt like he was at a pajama party and then Rich asked him if he had them take their pajamas off. Then he realized they were only 17. |
| 6:03
| We probably shouldn't analyze this show too much though. Adam fixed Steve's computer which he appreciates. Now go get a shirt that fits! It's like in 9 1/2 Weeks where he girl is wearing Mickey Rourke's shirt. Steve thought he was going to come in here and sing You Can Leave Your Hat On. |
| 6:04
| Rich is recommending Gone Country with John Rich. They had a bunch of celebrities like Bobby Brown and Carnie Wilson and Dee Snider living in John's house, which is like a giant log cabin mansion. |
| 6:05
| Shawn was the girl on Nashville Star that Buzz saw. Steve can see what Buzz is talking about but it's not a bad look. They had one guy on who looks like an Abercrombie model but literally can't sing. |
| 6:06
| So that was Steve's exciting evening, yelling at the dog and then watching Nashville Star until Dateline comes on. They were doing some special about a mass murder and those things never get anywhere. |
| 6:07
| Steve's tired of NBC anyway, he can't take another Tim Russert tribute. They even did one on that entertainment show that Billy Bush hosts. Steve's sure he's a great guy and he loves his son but a lot of dad's love their sons. |
| 6:08
| Hopefully Steve gets credit for that. Russert only had one son, try having three! He loves his hometown but who doesn't love their hometown? He's from Buffalo where Buzz also has roots. |
| 6:09
| He was very religious too, Mary Ann Ahern covered that aspect locally. Her brother's new him from college. And he loved his son. He really benefited from Father's Day being on Sunday. Are there a lot of guys on TV who hate their sons? |
| 6:10
| Access Hollywood is the show Billy Bush is on. Pat O'Brien used to be on that show. You think he ran his idea about the hotel room and the coke by Nancy O'Dell? You would hope that he did. |
| 6:11
| Buzz stopped by the Walgreen's yesterday and grabbed that issue of The Globe. Buzz thinks Steve is going to love the photo of Oprah. She's up to 220 pounds and eating herself to death. We can dive into that after the break. |
| 6:12
| Just so Buzz knows, if he dies Steve will talk about how much he loved his family and his hometown of Buffalo. But he also loved Chicago and his beloved blues clubs. |
| 6:13
| Steve will also talk about all the prep work Buzz did for his job. Although he doesn't do that much prep. He did get The Globe magazine and bring it in though. |
| 6:14
| If Steve was from Buffalo he'd want people to talk about how much he loved buffalo wings. Maybe if you die of a heart attack people don't want to talk about how you loved buffalo wings, they're not very healthy. |
| 6:15
| Tim Russert had a stress test recently but it didn't pick up any problems. What's the point of getting a test then? That's why Steve doesn't get any tests, whatever happens happens. It's like with the prostate exam, which Steve's dad keeps telling him he needs to get. |
| 6:16
| Speaking of prostates, what's with those commercials with all the active guys who have going problems? It seems sort of gay. Where are all the women? Aren't these guys active with women? |
| 6:17
| Buzz never had a gang of middle-aged men that he was active with. Steve couldn't see Buzz and Chris Wood kayaking or deep-sea fishing. |
| 6:18
| Caller Bob saw an interview with Tim Russert's son this morning. He went to Boston College and Tim would often come and tailgate. They didn't do wings good in Boston so he had wings flown in from Buffalo. So he did like his wings. |
| 6:19
| It's funny that he had the wings flown in. He seemed like a good guy, Steve's not trying to take that away from him. It seems like the media is using the kid a bit though. |
| 6:20
| You'd think the son would be more broken up about this. Steve would like to think his sons would also be broken up about it but they'd probably be in here doing a show, trying to figure out how to get rid of Buzz. |
| 6:21
| If you're from Buffalo it makes sense that you'd like the wings. We had those Anchor Bar wings flown in and they were still good. Steve wouldn't mind going to the Anchor Bar but it's a hard trip to pitch. |
| 6:22
| Maybe Steve could pitch a Cooperstown trip, Buffalo is on the way right? The Cubs had to go to Cooperstown yesterday but the game was rained out. It actually started raining right after the moment of silence for Tim Russert. |
| 6:23
| Tyrone is checking in with some traffic. If he dies you don't have to worry about any tributes to him. He's got a few kids but he doesn't know where they are so it wouldn't make a good story. Tyrone is from Gary and he hates it there. Tyrone doesn't know his kids, he doesn't like his hometown and he doesn't work hard. So put that out on the wire Buzz. |
| 6:24
| A car hit the wall on the outbound Kennedy near Division and only the right shoulder is open. The driver is being transported by Tyrone right now, he's in the back of the choptater. |
| 6:32
| Good news Buzz, Steve can go to Cooperstown and stop in Buffalo. It's 1556 miles or one day and 2 hours. Steve doesn't know how far Buffalo is from Cooperstown. Buzz doesn't remember them being that close. |
| 6:33
| Steve's map is just driving directions but it seems like Buffalo is on the way to Cooperstown. It seems like it's about halfway. Buffalo is on the way to Cooperstown, it couldn't be the other way around. That would be hard to sell as a trip. |
| 6:34
| Steve calls down to the weather center. Jim says Buffalo is on the way to Cooperstown. He's looking at Google Maps as well, you don't go through downtown Buffalo but it's in the area. That's what Jim did although he came from Toronto. It's the same expressway. |
| 6:35
| Jim actually went to the Anchor Bar and he brought Steve back a hat. It's a great restaurant, it sort of reminded him of a place in Chicago. Jim suggests a stop in Buffalo for a AAA baseball game. Steve will pass on that. His brother-i-law is from Buffalo and he's always talking about the minor league team he watched growing up. We've got the Cubs and Sox here. |
| 6:36
| Steve's into baseball but he's not into minor league baseball. Jim is kind of a dork about it though, he's like George Will. Jim has actually planned trips around minor league baseball. If he goes on a trip he tries to see a minor league team. |
| 6:37
| Steve only likes real baseball and he wants his team to win. Jim really only likes seeing the Cubs minor league teams to see who's in the system. Jim suggests a trip for Steve to Charlotte to see the Sox team. Jim can put the trip together but would he want to go if it's the Sox? For a while the Sox had a team in South Bend. They were always covering that team on the South Bend news, which is the worst news ever. |
| 6:38
| Steve has been watching that Playing for Peanuts show on Comcast, that's pretty good. Jim watched that too and then he looked up the baseball league and it folded after year. |
| 6:39
| Alright time for the web poll, today's question is "Which do you prefer?" and the options are head cheese and oysters. Warm your gag reflex Buzz, head cheese is making it's way onto restaurant menus. The only reference Buzz has heard to head cheese is in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. |
| 6:40
| Head cheese is a loaf of meat made from simmered heads of pig, goat or lamb. It's all held together with gelatin. At Wicker Park's Mado the head cheese is made Italian style with house cured salami. |
| 6:41
| Mado's head cheese contains fennel seed and cloves. It's soft the way oysters are but so good. Oysters are like swallowing someone's snot! |
| 6:42
| Food is getting a little too weird, people are just trying to top each other. How about a nice spring roll? |
| 6:43
| The Paulina Meat Market makes three types of head cheese but sausage-maker Jerry Lekan says it's hard to get people to try it. Is that the guy Steve met at Paulina? |
| 6:44
| Steve calls down to Adam's office. Adam doesn't remember who we met up there but he never remembers. He's the one who's supposed to remember this stuff. |
| 6:45
| The guy gave Steve a hundred dollars worth of salami and he can't remember his name! |
| 6:52
| Yesterday Steve and Buzz had to stay after the show and record commercials for the vacation. They did the Townstone reads with David Hochberg and a bunch of Taco Bell reads. |
| 6:53
| Mary kept bringing in Taco Bell food but then taking it out before they finished. You have to be very facile because you're eating different menu items. |
| 6:54
| Steve thought the whole thing went OK but there was one word he had trouble with at the end. You could mispronounce a million words but sometimes there's one malapropos that really bugs you. |
| 6:55
| Can Steve hear that now, is it something Pete has handy? Pete doesn't even know what Steve is talking about. Steve's just being hard on himself. |
| 6:56
| Buzz isn't sure if he wants to hear himself again. If there's any good lead-in to the live reads Pete can play that too. |
| 6:57
| Buzz used to enjoy delivering obscenity-laden tirades between takes of live reads. Pete saves all that stuff and upon Steve or Buzz's death it'll all be on YouTube. When Steve dies Pete will be on TV with all of the outtakes talking about how Steve hated Chicago and hated his family and how he kept him down for over 2 decades. |
| 6:58
| Steve should probably stop talking and just let the tape play. Notice he gets the entire Taco Bell campaign wrong and he doesn't mind that, it's just the mispronunciation later on that bugs him. |
| 6:59
| Steve didn't even hear the word he mispronounced. He made a million other mistakes but this one word has been bother him since yesterday. |
| 7:00
| Steve told Mary what the word was but she says you can't even hear it. His mouth was full so no one will noticed. |
| 7:01
| Well what a gem that is then, something to look forward to on July 4th. Hopefully Jim runs some tape on that so we can hear how it blends into the show. |
| 7:02
| Is there anything else after that? Pete doesn't like to play the behind-the-scenes stuff because he's saving it all for when he does Steve and Buzz in. |
| 7:03
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:04
| Today's live read is about Kevin who needs a stated income loan. That requires a minimum credit score of 700. He purchased a $400,000 home and went with the realtor's preferred lender, her son. That's bad. |
| 7:05
| Kevin's score was 710 but before the closing the lender pulled his credit and it dropped to 699. In order to close Kevin had to bring in an extra 5% which he didn't have so he called David. |
| 7:06
| David told him to come up with the additional 5% and next time call him not the realtor's son. Steve would like to know how David would have done it differently so the credit score doesn't drop. |
| 7:07
| Alright does Buzz want to do the Oprah story from The Globe, the Bush story or the news? Steve also has Oprah's Stanford commencement to finish off. |
| 7:08
| Buzz would like to hear the Bush article. He wants to know who is saying that his President is doing coke in the White House. He deliberately didn't read the article, only the headline. |
| 7:09
| Chef Hans is on the phone, he has some head cheese info. It's made of simmered pig head and feet and held together with gelatin. At the trendy restaurants it's served on a charcuterie. That just means that it's served on a butcher board shaped like a pig. |
| 7:10
| Hans has some news for all the cabbies who listen to the show. Smith & Wollensky is giving out 500 burgers to cab drivers who show up today. That's a safe bet, a lot of cabbies probably don't eat cow. |
| 7:11
| If Steve and Buzz pull up in the back of a cab can they get burgers? Or do they have to drive a cab for the day? |
| 7:12
| Steve has a question for Chef Hans. Mike Dahl is in Napa with his girlfriend, it's her birthday. He's looking for a nice place to take her and Steve can't think of any. The French Laundry is in Napa but it's very expensive and very hard to get into. |
| 7:13
| Chef will call Charlie Trotter and have an answer in a few hours. He'll also talk to some of his wine merchants. He's the man! |
| 7:14
| OK, on to The Globe article. According to sources Bush used cocaine in the White House. This appears to have something to do with Scott McClellan's book. We probably would have heard about that in the mainstream media right? |
| 7:15
| Apparently we're on a 20 minute delay because now David Hochberg is calling in. People need to call in quicker, it's a morning show. Steve wanted to know how David would have checked someone's credit without lowering their score. |
| 7:16
| If you go to the Townstone website you can do it free there and take a snapshot of it. You can check your credit once a year without the score going down. |
| 7:17
| David didn't hear his commercial today though. Is there a better show that everyone is listening to today? David was busy getting ready to send his kid off to camp. Families are an albatross, that's what Steve is telling everyone. |
| 7:18
| The guy in this live read had his credit pulled and then started making a bunch of major purposes right before he bought. You don't want to do that. That's not really how Steve took the live read though. |
| 7:19
| So if you're buying a new place wait until you have the keys before you spend $60,000 on new furniture or a car. |
| 7:27
| That's a drop from Swingtown, the show Buzz wants to watch. |
| 7:28
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 7:29
| OK back to The Globe article. Shocking new allegations reveal that President Bush used coke in the White House and that it almost ruined his marriage. |
| 7:30
| Scott McClellan revealed in his new book that he suspected Bush of using cocaine. Didn't Bush admit to using cocaine though? |
| 7:31
| This seems totally baseless but Steve will keep reading. The allegations raise new questions about whether or not Bush was using in the White House. If Steve was President he'd be doing it. |
| 7:32
| McClellan claims in his book that he once overheard Bush asked by a support about his cocaine use. This really isn't the same as Bush doing coke in the White House and that being the cause of the war in Iraq. |
| 7:33
| This is a far cry from the "Bush Used Cocaine in White House" headline. It went from that to some guy asking Bush if he ever used cocaine and him not being able to remember if he did. |
| 7:34
| If you tell someone you can't remember if you did an illegal drug you probably did it. But back in the 70s and 80s a lot of people were doing it. Barack Obama said he tried it! |
| 7:35
| If you made this kind of accusation in a foreign country you'd be executed, possibly by a coked-out dictator. |
| 7:36
| On to the Oprah story. Her new vegan diet doesn't seem to be helping as Oprah fights for her life. She's been warned to diet or die. All doctors say that. If Buzz went to the doctor now he'd hear the same thing. They tell you to have a half a grape fruit, some dry toast and a poached egg, they don't tell you to go IHOP. |
| 7:37
| Oprah has ballooned to 220 pounds and was told to diet or die. Her vegan diet appears to be failing though. She looked bigger than ever when she was shopping in Beverly Hills after attending the funeral of Sydney Pollack. So someone saw her and thought she looked fat. |
| 7:38
| An eyewitness told The Globe that while they aren't a doctor, Oprah looked morbidly obese. If you're 40 pounds overweight you're morbidly obese. |
| 7:39
| This isn't exactly "220 Pound Oprah: Diet or Die" is it? There is a nice photo of Oprah shoving something into her mouth. She looks like a fish. It's so hard for Buzz to see that and not want to buy the magazine. |
| 7:46
| Live read: McCracken Financial |
| 7:47
| The women from McCracken Financial brought Steve a donut maker and some batter. So Buzz shouldn't be surprised to walk into the studio one day and find Steve selling donuts. |
| 7:48
| Steve's getting way too much feedback on restaurants in Napa for Mike Dahl. Steve has the feeling that Mike wants him to make a reservation using the Steve Dahl Show office reservation machine. |
| 7:49
| Ed has recommended a restaurant that's right in the wine snob wheelhouse and Mike is a budding wine snob. Pat has shown some tendencies towards wine snobbery which only caused Mike to dial his up. |
| 7:50
| Ron Lewis told Mike about this place already and then Ed recommended it. He says it's the most romantic place in Napa Valley. Ed would know, he's Lance Romance. |
| 7:51
| Pat Dahl does swirl the wine in his glass and he has questioned Steve's wine ordering abilities from time-to-time. Pat Dahl has his own history of bad ordering though. |
| 7:52
| There was that time in Vegas when Steve and the boys were in a VIP room. Mike suggested vodka for the bottle service but Pat was adamant that they order Pusser's Rum. Spiced rum doesn't go with much and Mike complained the whole time. |
| 7:53
| It seems like Pat is in a wine of the month club so he knows a few things while Mike is fronting hard. He's in Napa enjoying a couple of days off. If you front long enough it becomes part of you. It's like being an artist. You keep saying your an artist until someone buys your stuff. |
| 7:54
| Speaking of artists, Steve has to question the labeling of that guy who got stabbed over the weekend a street artist. Someone who writes stuff on other people's property is a vandal to Steve. |
| 7:55
| News with Buzz |
| 7:56
| The death toll continues to rise in Iowa in the wake of flooding throughout the state. |
| 7:57
| One same-sex couple in California wasted no time getting married. Two 80-year-old women were married just minutes after same-sex marriage became legal in that state. Steve finds a lot of the lesbian stuff hot but not granny lesbians. |
| 7:58
| A wake for NBC's Tim Russert will be held in Washington today. He was the longtime host of Meet the Press and NBC"s Washington bureau chief. He loved his family, his hometown and the Buffalo Bills. All those things could be said about Steve but they won't be said. It'll just be bad things. |
| 7:59
| Father Pfleger is back at St. Sabina after a two week suspension imposed by the archdiocese. He said he has no plans to change his ways though. |
| 8:00
| The Da Vinci Code prequel is stirring up some controversy. The Vatican has banned the crew of Angels and Demons from filming at two churches. |
| 8:01
| A St. Louis man claiming he got stuck to a toilet seat at a Home Depot is suing the store. Is this a different guy? There was a story a few years ago in which someone put glue on a toilet seat and then someone sat on it. That's where Buzz first learned from Steve how save your butt is from disease. It's designed to not pick up germs. |
| 8:02
| Britney Spears won a court decision. A photographer claimed Britney had run over his foot last November. A judge ruled that the only reason his foot was run over is because he put it in a location to be run over. Steve's seen that tape, the guy gets in the way. |
| 8:03
| In other foot news a 5th foot has washed ashore in British Columbia. This time it was a left foot which was spotted by a couple walking on the beach. |
| 8:04
| Palatine residents are upset about Cook County's upcoming 1% tax increase. Angry residents met with Todd Stroger at Harper College. Palatine is discussing the possibility of seceding from Cook County. If at first you don't secede... |
| 8:05
| More and more people are shopping in Lake County because it's cheaper so Cook County businesses are losing money. |
| 8:06
| A judge has dismissed a case against a village trustee in Carpentersville who called two kids climbing in her trees "monkeys" The kids were black. That could be taken either way but you should probably just stay away from that word. |
| 8:07
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Taco Tuesday and Steve and Buzz are having Crunchy Tacos off the Why Pay More Menu. |
| 8:14
| Guess what time it is Buzz? Besides being 8:13? Steve has three clocks in the studio. One says 8:13, one says 8:22 and one say 8:14. 8:14 is on Steve's computer, that's probably the most accurate. |
| 8:15
| Buzz has a computer that says 8:13 but that's in-house. All the in-house computers are wrong which is great. That's not what time it is though, it's time for Ben Gay. |
| 8:16
| Ben has been out in California, he's thinking of getting married out there. That window of opportunity may not last that long and Ben isn't really seeing anyone. |
| 8:17
| Ben tried to find a job in San Francisco but surprisingly the TV and radio stations are very homophobic. They didn't want him talking with a lisp. It seems like the perfect thing for San Francisco sports though. |
| 8:18
| Ben had some vacation time coming anyway, plus he was suspended. He'd rather not talk about it though. It was an incident with Eddie and Jobo on the 9th floor bathroom. It seems to Buzz like they'd be up for anything which is also what Ben thought. Turns out one of them just has a wide stance. |
| 8:19
| The Cubs continue their road trip tonight in Tampa Bay. Of course their road trip started in Toronto and then they had to stop in Cooperstown for the Hall of Fame game that got rained out. Tampa's a fun city but the Cubs have to play indoors. |
| 8:20
| Lou Piniella returns to his hometown where he also used to manage. Is it that big of a deal? |
| 8:21
| The Pittsburgh Pirates are in town to take on the White Sox. Javier Vazquez will start for the White Sox and Ian Snell starts for the Pirates. What's that snell? |
| 8:22
| Willie Randolph was fired as manager of the Mets, the team made the announcement in the middle of the night. Were they hoping no one would notice? They were pre-season favorites to win the division with a $138 million payroll. |
| 8:23
| Hank Steinbrenner whined about the National League rule requiring pitchers to bat after finding out that Yankees hurler Chien Ming-Wang will be out until September. He was injured running the bases in an interleague game. |
| 8:24
| Steinbrenner says it's time for the National League to get in the 21st century and adopt the DH. It seems more natural to have the pitcher batting though. It seems like most of baseball's rules are from the 1800s so that's a bad tact for Steinbrenner to take. |
| 8:25
| Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open in a sudden death playoff. That's because the other guy died. He got too hot, he should have taken off the sweater vest. |
| 8:26
| We're bleeping out the word ass now? Ben must have missed that memo. Pete says that his audio source bleeped it out. |
| 8:27
| Ray Allen will play in game 6 of the NBA Finals tonight. His son is sick but unless he's the pediatrician he can probably play. |
| 8:28
| Kansas State big man Michael Beasley will workout for the Bulls today at the Berto Center. How great would it be to have someone just work out for you? |
| 8:29
| Police found Oakland Raider Javon Walker unconscious on a street off the Vegas Strip early yesterday. He had an orbital fracture and was taken to the hospital. |
| 8:30
| A Cincinnati sports reporter followed Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson as he signed autographs for kids after a team workout. Ocho Cinco did not want to answer questions about his unhappiness in Cincinnati or his ankle injury. Ocho Cinco is not how you'd say 85 in Spanish though. |
| 8:31
| That reporter doesn't seem too professional, he must be from one of those sports radio stations. Buzz can't decide who he finds more irritating, Chad Johnson or the reporter. |
| 8:32
| Ben finds the reporter more irritating than Ocho Cinco or Ochenta y Cinco as he should be called. Ben used to be bi...bilingual. And he was bi for a time. |
| 8:33
| Ben had a wife and 5 kids and he lived in Lombard. He still has the 5 kids but he doesn't see them. It makes for a very lonely Father's Day. |
| 8:34
| Ben used to live in Lombard, he was a loan officer at a bank. In hindsight, if you'll pardon the pun, he should have known he was gay. Ben's always had the lisp, even when he was exchanging wedding vows. He always had an interest in sports too. |
| 8:35
| When Ben moved down to Chicago he met Chet Coppock who mentored him in sports broadcasting. It was completely platonic of course. As Steve and Buzz were discussing last week during the Vinnie the Black press conference, anyone can get credentials. |
| 8:36
| So Ben made up his own newspaper, The Bun Times, and started getting press credentials. Steve has asked that Ben doesn't put this show on his credentials. There is no Bun Times, it's made up but no one ever checks. |
| 8:37
| Buzz could say he's from Buzz Magazine although that might be a real magazine. There should be a Bun Times, that might save the Sun-Times. They're on their way today, they've got Kosuke Fukudome and Carlos Quentin on the cover. |
| 8:38
| In the middle they have a woman with premature babies but they're off to a good start with the hunky men on the cover. Everyone loves that Fukudome, they love to talk about it, they love to do it, they love to think about it. Inside there's a man with no shirt on carrying sandbags. They've also got a woman named Michael write for them. |
| 8:39
| There is a Buzz Magazine, it's Florida's #1 LGBT publication. LGBT is...lesbian? gay? bi? Ben was bi briefly as he transitioned from Lombard banker to living downtown. What's T though? |
| 8:40
| How would Buzz feel about Ben putting Buzz Magazine on his press pass? Buzz doesn't really want anything traced back from him. |
| 8:48
| That's from the Vinnie Del Negro press conference. Apparently they'll let anyone get a press pass except Steve. Steve has a Sox press pass and that's really all he wants. |
| 8:49
| Steve has the press pass so he can check out the post-game press conference while he waits for traffic to die down. It also helps for when Ed Farmer wants Steve to come up. |
| 8:50
| Ed thinks that Steve doesn't need a press pass to get up to the booth but in this day and age they don't let anyone anywhere. |
| 8:51
| It's funny that Mark Czerniec thought Steve would know what LGBT stood for. T is transgender and Steve doesn't really know what that means. |
| 8:52
| Mark must have thought that since Steve and Buzz are in the big city they would know what LGBT is. Chances are Mark would have a better chance of seeing something like that at a Racine truck stop. |
| 8:53
| Steve has been noticing lately that he does have a wide stance in men's room and he's been working hard to stop that. |
| 8:54
| Alright should Steve continue on with the Oprah commencement address from Stanford? First he has to cue up the bad graduation march that doesn't loop properly. It's oddly comforting. |
| 8:55
| If Steve's at this graduation he's looking at whoever is in front or back of him alphabetically wondering what Oprah is talking about. Maybe it would be a Dahmer or one of Salvador Dali's grandkids. |
| 8:56
| Oprah tells graduates to avoid the fast lane and do whatever you're good at. Is it that easy? |
| 8:57
| Oprah says money is nice and it's good for buying things. Having a lot of money doesn't mean you're successful. You need meaning as well. |
| 8:58
| What you really want is to be surrounded by people you trust who cherish you. They don't take that at the stores though. |
| 8:59
| OK so success has been covered and now on to the inevitable setbacks. Setbacks happen and when they do it's time to to change your course. |
| 9:00
| Is that really true? You shouldn't always change your course. Steve would have gotten up and walked out. You got to Stanford for 4 years and you get this? |
| 9:01
| Steve would like to make fun of this speech but he doesn't even understand what she's talking about. If someone has to resort to all these books with psychobabble about how to be happy they might not be happy. That's what Steve would have yelled out. |
| 9:02
| Oprah started her school in Africa to give those girls the same chance that Stanford students had. Stanford is just like Oprah's school only without the headmistress molesting kids. |
| 9:03
| Oprah's final lesson is about finding happiness. She could talk about that all day but knows the graduates have wacky things to do. Wacky? |
| 9:04
| This seems like a lot to lay on people who are graduating college. Buzz doesn't even know, he stopped understanding this thing a while ago. |
| 9:05
| Oprah says that to be happy you have to give back. It's a lesson that was woven into Stanford students. The school was started by Leland and Jane Stanford. |
| 9:06
| If you're in pain help someone else ease their pain. If you're in trouble help someone else out of trouble. |
| 9:07
| Steve can't even imagine sitting through all of this. It's like Oprah think she's God. |
| 9:14
| Steve is breaking up the Oprah speech into three parts and we'll have part three tomorrow. For someone with a TV show she sure is full of herself. |
| 9:15
| She does have the magazine too and a few books but she also has a boyfriend she can't get to marry her. And Roger Ebert had to talk her into taking the syndication deal. |
| 9:16
| They must have got her to speak at Stanford because of Bob and Betty Stanford or whatever their names were. |
| 9:17
| Caller Bea works at an animation studio in Racine, they do work for videogames. Is there anything Steve and Buzz could do voices for? |
| 9:18
| Bea loves listening to the show and she's been listening for 18 years. She also used to listen to Buzz's Saturday night blues show. She wouldn't mind if Buzz got a little closer to the mic though. |
| 9:19
| Steve always has to tell him that. And lately Steve has noticed that Buzz's pen clicking is louder than he is. |
| 9:20
| One of Bea's co-workers did a drawing of Steve on a surfboard with a glass of beer and then a week later he quit drinking so they never sent it to him. |
| 9:21
| Has Buzz seen any commercials for the Wisconsin Dells water park? It's the largest in the world but there's no water. And that lake where they have the Tommy Bartlett show is dried up. |
| 9:22
| Alright, transgender is the state of one's gender not matching up. So that's like a woman trapped in a man's body. |
| 9:23
| Stanford University was named in honor of Leland Stanford Jr., son of Leland and Jane Stanford. He died of typhoid. If they had named it Stanford Junior College you'd only have to go for 2 years. |
| 9:24
| Mark has posted a story on his page about the Bellweather Group in Racine. David Bawell, now president of Bellweather Technologies, has worked in motion capture for the film and video game industry. If you've seen Return of the King you've seen his work on the Gollum character. Maybe that's why Mark moved to Racine, he loves Lord of the Rings. |
| 9:25
| Caller Will is an engraver. He engraves medallions for Stanford and they say Leland Stanford Junior University. So it's a junior college. They shouldn't be in the Pac-10 then. |
| 9:26
| Will is going to be doing some medallions for Northwestern as well. Is he supposed to be talking about this? Can he make something for Steve and Buzz that said they went to Stanford or Northwestern? |
| 9:27
| Steve used to work for a guy who had an engraving shop in his garage. He actually didn't like it that much. |
| 9:28
| The engraving equipment was always dull so it never looked right. Steve used to get paid by the letter, for everyone he did correctly. He got 5¢ for every letter he did correctly. Will doesn't even charge that now. |
| 9:29
| It sounds to Will as if Steve had problems with the burnishing cutters. Steve would go complain to the guy and he'd say the work was unacceptable. All the machines are completely computerized now though. Steve being left-handed some how messed something up so he had a lot of screwed-up letters. |
| 9:30
| Steve was using a Hermes Pantagraph machine. You'd have to put the brass plate in and line it up. Then the guy would take the plates and fill them in with paint and buff them. The guy didn't trust Steve to do that. |
| 9:31
| Will's shop still had a Hermes as recently as 7 years ago. If Steve screwed something up he would have to pay for it. |
| 9:32
| It was a pretty good job for Steve, he just sat in the guy's garage in the corner. The guy also had hot daughters, not that that did anything for Steve. |
| 9:33
| Will likes his job because he can sit there listening to the show all day. Steve also listened to the radio but it was before the Walkman. He took a big radio and hooked headphones up to it. It was the first Walkman but it weighed 5 pounds. |
| 9:34
| Steve was in the engraving industry but he'd say he failed at it. When an engraving came out right it was fantastic. But when the guy came down and lowered the boom and threw one out it was bad. |
| 9:35
| Will does a lot of plastic number signs for U-Store-It places and those things are popping up like weeds. Steve thinks there's a scam with these U-Store-It places. |
| 9:36
| Steve has a storage space and every 2 years they place changes ownership and the rent goes up. It's some sort of pyramid scam and Steve wants in on it. What about Buzz, is he in? |
| 9:37
| If Steve ever retired from the radio business he could get himself a storage facility and live there. He could probably do both now, it doesn't seem that hard. |
| 9:38
| Up the street from that guys house was a place called the Pink Castle. It was painted pink and people actually lived there. The people who lived there were weird as you can imagine. |
| 9:39
| Even if they weren't weird you thought they were weird because they lived in a pink castle. They were like the Addams Family of Steve's school. |
| 9:46
| News with Buzz |
| 9:47
| County clerks in California are bracing for an anticipated rush of same sex couples wanting to get married. Steve's bracing for seeing dudes kissing on CNN. |
| 9:48
| Buzz has a relative who's apparently homophobic. He's been watching Torchwood on the BBC and failed to pick up on the fact that the main character is gay as a junebug. Then the character laid a kiss on his boyfriend and the guy won't watch any more. |
| 9:49
| Steve hasn't seen the show but the word "torch" in the title would make Steve think that there are gay undertones. It seems like all shows on the BBC have undertones, even Monty Python. |
| 9:50
| There's nothing wrong with it of course. But Steve is bracing to see guys kissing on TV. Where he really freaks out is when he sees two guys who look like bankers kissing. Buzz doesn't think of himself as being homophobic or biased but he gets the creeps seeing two guys kissing. Steve doesn't think that's our fault. He's seen two guys having sex and it doesn't freak him out as much as two guys kissing. |
| 9:51
| Two 80-year-old women were the first couple to get married in San Francisco. Normally Steve thinks lesbian stuff is hot but not this. |
| 9:52
| Will Rosie and Ellen get married now? Buzz didn't think they were dating. Steve just meant they'd get married to whoever they're dating. |
| 9:53
| Dateline Paraguay, a couple was jailed on suspicion of having a same-sex marriage. They were released after a doctor determined that the groom was a hermaphrodite. |
| 9:54
| Caller Chuck has some information about Torchwood. It's a Doctor Who spin-off and the word Torchwood is an anagram of Doctor Who. |
| 9:55
| Ellen DeGeneres is getting married, as is George Takei. Rosie O'Donnell and her partner were married a few years ago when same-sex marriage was temporarily legalized in San Francisco. |
| 9:56
| Rosie said she's waiting until same-sex marriage is legal everywhere because she doesn't want to go from state to state getting married wherever it's legal. |
| 9:57
| Steve still can't believe George Takei is gay, that totally rattled him. Buzz once found himself in a bathroom with George Takei. That voice of his really rattles around in a bathroom. |
| 9:58
| Japan's most reviled serial killer, known as the Cannibal Nerd, has been executed in Tokyo. He was known for kidnapping school girls, torturing them, drinking their blood and eating them. Buzz could have warned Steve what was coming up after he laughed at the guy's nickname. He was also know for his voracious interest in porn and Manga comics. |
| 9:59
| George Michael is coming back to America for his first show here in 17 years. Steve and Buzz are going right? |
| 10:00
| In Japan Manga is read by a wide variety of people. The topics range from action-adventure, romance, sports and games, mystery, horror and sexuality. Steve's guessing this cannibal guy read the horror and sexuality stuff. |
