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| 5:31
| That sound you're hearing is the sound of the city being oiled up for another day. It's the same sound Buzz's daughter was making at breakfast and he had to tell her to stop because she was being rude. She's not being paid though. |
| 5:32
| Steve has gotten away from his Casey Kasem thing every morning over the last few months. It might have cost him the gig as the voiceover guy for then new WGN Superstation. They hired Casey Kasem, how avant garde. |
| 5:33
| It sounds more like time travel to Buzz, he literally thought Casey was dead. He's not dead but he might sleep in an iron lung. There's nothing wrong with him, it's just for the pipes. |
| 5:34
| WGN has overhauled the Superstation, which is what everyone else in the country sees on their cable. Lee Abrams is the new consultant over at the Tribune, he might want to get out of the 70s with this idea. |
| 5:35
| Steve still thinks Lee is a genius. His job is to come up with a million crazy ideas. Just because he says Casey Kasem doesn't mean they have to listen. |
| 5:36
| So Steve might have lost out on that gig because he stopped talking about the last song before the show starts. Shakin' by Eddie Money is from his 1982 album No Control. It's a playable track on the music video game Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s. |
| 5:37
| Steve had Guitar Hero for his computer but it wasn't working so he sent it back. Then he got one for the Wii for Father's Day. The Wii has been moved up to the bedroom because Janet says she's going to use the exercise game for the Wii. So far he hasn't seen her use it though. |
| 5:38
| When Steve played Guitar Hero at Pat Dahl's place in L.A. he wanted to kill everyone in the room with the guitar because they were talking and he was messing up. So maybe that shouldn't be up in the bedroom. |
| 5:39
| Buzz doesn't know the game so he doesn't understand how you can mess up. The notes all come out at you on screen and you have to hit the right button and also hit the strum key. Being able to play guitar is kind of a liability, the game is mostly about timing. |
| 5:40
| Steve was trying to play one of the easier songs, Foghat, and he kept messing up. Then of course Pat takes it and nails one of the hardest songs. This is why Buzz tries to stay away from video games. |
| 5:41
| We've got a couple of weeks off coming up where Steve can play Guitar Hero. The hiatus couldn't come at a better time, we've been working since January without a vacation. |
| 5:42
| We had to work for all that time though but Steve has put together a vacation schedule which he'll submit for Buzz's approval. It spreads things out a little better. |
| 5:43
| Recently they've changed the way they take ratings. It used to be once every 3 months, now it's every month and by the end of the year it'll be every week. One day they'll probably be able to take ratings everyday. |
| 5:44
| Under the old ratings system they didn't take ratings during the next two weeks coming up so Steve would take that time off. They also didn't take ratings for 3 weeks around Christmas and New Year's. |
| 5:45
| There's also the week in August we take off for Buzz's special time, that's on Steve's new calendar. Buzz was hoping for some time off in Spring, he'd love to get to New Orleans. |
| 5:46
| Steve has us penciled in for March, he thought he should do a vacation every 3 months. Then he realized that he had 5 weeks and not 6 and then he wanted 6 to even it out. |
| 5:47
| Steve's just going to give Buzz the schedule know so he can't say later on that he never knew about it. Then Steve will consult the show log to prove to Buzz that he told him. Then Buzz will accuse Steve of paying Jim to change the show log. |
| 5:48
| Because of the upcoming vacation Steve and Buzz have been recording a lot of commercials. Steve did some yesterday morning and it did not go well. Buzz can't believe he missed Steve's anger yesterday before the show, he was here. It's sort of like the guy who beats his kid but you never know about it. |
| 5:49
| After the show yesterday Steve recorded some more commercials, including some of the commercials he did before the show yesterday. Steve doesn't have any say in what we play during the Best Of because he thinks everything he does is bad. Do you want to live in a world where Steve thinks everything he does is great? |
| 5:50
| The only thing Steve really has control of over the next couple of weeks is the live reads. We had to do 42 commercials for the break which is a lot. Steve used to do them all on the last day before the break but now we're spreading them out which is better. |
| 5:51
| The most irritating thing to Steve is how quickly Buzz just cranks his out. His are only 10 second live reads though but still. Buzz also enjoys recording commercials with Steve. |
| 5:52
| When Steve does a commercial during the show he can mess up and go back and do it again. But when he's recording them he can either go down the rabbit hole or he can just let it go. |
| 5:53
| The low point in the recording sessions this week was the McCracken ads, which were poorly written and poorly edited by Adam. Didn't he go to college? Even Pete said something about it. They go from third person to first person so it was really hard to read. The @ symbol should not be in a live read in place of the word at. |
| 5:54
| Pete was looking at the live read and shaking his head, Steve really felt the love even with the Crosstown Classic coming up. The kid who handles the McCracken account couldn't get the copy to us on time either. |
| 5:55
| This is after Steve met with them and they bought a lot more time on the show. Steve's going to deal with all of this after the break. At some point during the recording though Steve wanted to go in the corner and curl up in a ball. That's what Buzz wants to walk in on. Mary claims Steve didn't make her cry this time but he saw her eyes watering. |
| 5:56
| Steve might be taking the proofreading away from Adam. He might have less of an education than Steve, a high school drop-out. Steve doesn't want to berate anyone so he's going to see how Adam is doing before he calls him. He got the copy late too. |
| 5:57
| In a weird way all of this is good though because after a week of recording these commercials Steve is read for a vacation. Usually he doesn't want to take a vacation. Mostly he's just mad he didn't get the voiceover job for the Superstation. |
| 6:01
| Did Buzz just ask if we were on vacation next week? He did, it was a complete surprise to him. Isn't he going somewhere? |
| 6:02
| Buzz is going somewhere the week after. In his mind he was just thinking maybe we'd get next Thursday and Friday off but at some point during the conversation Buzz realized Steve was taking the entire week. |
| 6:03
| Buzz just thought Mary was getting ahead of the curve by having Steve record these live reads this week. What a gift this is for Buzz though! The kid is off, all sorts of movies are opening. Steve will have a piece in the Tribune's At Play section next Thursday about summer blockbusters. |
| 6:04
| And going back to Casey Kasem, we shouldn't question Lee Abrams. He's a genius and back in Detroit in the 70s he believed in Steve. He told him to keep being crazy. |
| 6:05
| Does Pete have any McCracken Financial on hand? Even Pete thought the script was hard to read. Steve did not take Adam's temperature during the break. |
| 6:06
| The live reads are letters from customers to McCracken with them answering. Steve didn't know how he was supposed to read them. It seems like they're sort of cutting into David Hochberg's thing and if Steve would have had more time he would have tried to help them figure out a different angle to take. |
| 6:07
| Pete's just going to roll with this tape, it sounds good so far. Can you tell how mad and crazy Steve is while recording this? |
| 6:08
| Pete is supposed to make Steve feel better, not himself. Steve knows that Pete's girlfriend is living with some hetero dude in New York, they're probably having sex right now, but he shouldn't take it out on him. |
| 6:09
| That sounds fine right? Pete and Mary both think so. For as much trouble as they were giving Steve this week Pete thinks that no one will even notice when they play next week. |
| 6:10
| That's the most irritating thing for Steve, no one even notices. He just wants to put a little of the genius in everything. And what a sexy voice he has. SEXY! |
| 6:11
| Steve got an email from CBS about taking an Indecency Refresher Court. Steve already got a certificate for refresher course in 2005 and 2007 but he has another one. Is that something you can do on the air? Buzz would bet not. |
| 6:12
| As Steve recalls the stuff that they ask you about could almost be a human resources violation depending on who you are. As Buzz recalls some of the stuff is very hardcore and entertaining. They have real examples of stuff that people said on the air, it's shocking. |
| 6:13
| Steve probably shouldn't take this on the air right? He's going to check out the first question just to make sure. |
| 6:14
| Steve is acing this thing so far and in the process saving the station $3 million with his good editing. |
| 6:15
| In the next scenario a host left a mic on during a break. That sounds like it could be bad. The host was talking about the wide receiver for his favorite football team and someone blurted something out that they shouldn't have said. Is that a violation? Steve's going to say unquestionably yes. |
| 6:16
| That's actually not the right answer any more. The rules don't always apply to fleeting expletives. That doesn't mean you should do it though. |
| 6:17
| Steve can't read the next question at all. He shouldn't even be subjected to this! This is probably impossible to do on the air. |
| 6:18
| Right now Steve and Buzz are pretty familiar with what you can and can't do on the air. Steve did answer one question wrong but he was airing on the side of caution, hopefully that gets reflected somewhere. |
| 6:26
| During the break Steve went ahead and passed the indecency refresher course. He's printing out the certificate now and it'll go up on the wall with the other certificates. One he gets that Escoffier sash it'll also go up, on a mannequin of Steve. |
| 6:27
| Steve has been nominated for the Broadcast Hall of Fame, a museum that doesn't exist. Apparently Blago promised Bruce DuMont some money that never materialized. |
| 6:28
| So halfway through construction they ran out of money and had to stop and now there are some lawsuits. So all of the stuff, like Frasier Thomas' paramilitary outfit, are in Bruce's car trunk. That's an exciting trunk. |
| 6:29
| Steve sees Bruce DuMont at Sox games but now he doesn't talk to him. He's embarrassed that he's not more grateful but also disappointed in Bruce for not having a real museum to put stuff in. |
| 6:30
| Live read: Sport Clips |
| 6:31
| Buzz likes the concept of Sport Clips because he doesn't like small talk. He was at the dentist yesterday and the hygienist felt compelled to talk to him. It was all stuff Buzz didn't want to talk about so he grunted his way through the conversation. It was rude but he didn't want to talk. |
| 6:32
| Some people don't like silence but Steve and Buzz talk all morning so sometimes they want to go somewhere and not talk. |
| 6:33
| Steve asked for a song to play because he's having an emergency where he needs to go to the bathroom. But Pete is just sitting in there because he can't decide what to play. What's he doing in there?! |
| 6:34
| Pete needs to pick a song, any song. This is not the way they'll want to remember Steve before the vacation. |
| 6:35
| Song: Is She Really Going Out With Him? Joe Jackson |
| 6:39
| Having just taken the FCC indecency refresher course Steve knew he couldn't be more descriptive with what was happening to him. |
| 6:40
| Steve has solved the problem we just had, he's going to have a player that he can go to since Pete can't pick a song. We only have 4 songs to choose from! Plus Pete is offended by the entire Jack music library. |
| 6:41
| At that point Steve didn't care what Pete played. It could have been dance music, it didn't matter. When Steve calls for a song like that it's an emergency. He's not playing a song so he can kick back with some coffee and discuss vacation plans with Buzz. |
| 6:42
| The same thing happened to Steve at the Sox game when he was with Ron Lewis. He's actually fun to go to a game with. Steve went to all three Pirates games, no wonder the Cubs have such a good record, the play the Pirates 18 times! |
| 6:43
| The Sox scored 37 runs over that series. In one inning the Pirates scored 6 runs and the White Sox got them right back. The Pirates have not been good for a while according to Pete. They're a small market team that doesn't spend any money and when their players get good they sign with the Yankees, or get traded to the Cubs like Aramis Ramirez. |
| 6:44
| Does Pete have Hot Potato Mouth again? Remember when that happened? Pete's glands were swollen in his throat and it sounded like he had a mouthful of hot potatoes. |
| 6:45
| Pete actually just went for a follow-up and the doctor said it could be coming back. Steve has been praying for that every night. In the meantime we should get him some potatoes. |
| 6:46
| It would be really bad if Pete got Hot Potato Mouth when he went to visit his girlfriend. That would really give her roommate something to talk about, he's already recommending Propecia and fish oil pills. |
| 6:47
| Pete's going to a wedding with his girlfriend this weekend. He had previously said that he was nervous because she hangs out with a lot of musical theater people. She heard that and told Pete that the only thing her and her friends do is a choreographed version of Dancing Queen. |
| 6:48
| That's not a big deal though, we do that here already. We're actually working on a staff version of the musical Mamma Mia. Pete is going to need to step closer to the mic today, he's copping a Buzz Kilman. |
| 6:49
| Steve's ears are a little plugged up though, it might be his allergies. Does Pete want to work through Dancing Queen with Steve and Buzz? It's probably something from the Mamma Mia musical. |
| 6:50
| Steve is embarrassed to say this but he has an extensive collection of ABBA songs in his iTunes. They're good songs but they show up first on your iPod. |
| 6:51
| One thing Steve does remember from Mamma Mia is that everyone puts their hands up in the air and fakes like they're playing the piano during the piano fills in the song. |
| 6:52
| That'll probably be enough for Pete. In the long term a girl doesn't want a guy who can do the choreographed Dancing Queen. |
| 6:53
| Pete would prefer not to participate at all but Steve thinks he needs to do something, especially with that actor there. He's just going to be pointing out how Pete doesn't even care about her love of theater. |
| 6:54
| Maybe Pete could work up his own dance to Fernando, it seems slower and more dramatic. He'll have to see if the band knows that one. |
| 6:55
| Steve did see a trailer for Mamma Mia and it looked OK. He didn't mind seeing the musical even though he doesn't want to admit that. Then he got in the car and went to the forest preserve to have sex with a guy. |
| 7:02
| Live read: Hawk Ford |
| 7:03
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "Did you ever have perfect attendance?" 51% of the people said yes. Buzz doesn't understand how that's possible! Steve can get the results to Buzz and he can investigate. |
| 7:04
| By the way, Steve's article for the Trib is do next Thursday but it won't be in the paper until a week from next Thursday. |
| 7:05
| A few weeks ago there was a web poll about drunk fans at sporting events. Steve hadn't been irritated by drunk fans recently so maybe he didn't give that article the best read. |
| 7:06
| The last time Steve was really annoyed by fans at a baseball game was when the Yankees were in town. But the guys ended up being nice so Steve let it go. |
| 7:07
| Had that been today's poll Steve would have had a different take because he was sitting two rows in front of a couple of guys who spent the whole game yelling and swearing and trying to one-up each other with their knowledge. |
| 7:08
| Steve thought it was inappropriate for them to swear because there were kids around, including Mr. Skin's family. Sure he's Mr. Skin but you need a password to get into his website. Steve turned around and gave them some dirty looks and they stopped. |
| 7:09
| It's a free country and you should be able to say stuff during a baseball game but not at the rate these guys were going. Every once-in-a-while you get unlucky like that. There was the time at the Hawks game where the guy behind Steve yelled "SHOOT" every time a Hawk got the puck. Steve's pretty sure they know to shoot. |
| 7:10
| They stopped swearing which is really all Steve cared about. He was too fixated on wondering if Matt Dahl had spat gum on the ground after Steve left the game on Wednesday. |
| 7:11
| Steve had a lunch miscarriage at the game yesterday. Since he got his press pass he's been using the nicer bathroom upstairs. |
| 7:12
| Then some guy sitting in front of Steve asked him if he still had a radio show. Can't you just Google that? Plus he was sitting with a guy who's at every game that Steve is at. He did have to ask Ron what frequency Jack was because he never says it. |
| 7:13
| Alright today's web poll is "How will you spend your summer vacation?" And now a brief history of the summer vacation. This month millions of American kids flee the tyranny of the classroom but summer vacation hasn't always been their birthright. |
| 7:14
| Before the Civil War schools operated on one of two calendars and neither had a summer break. Rural schools divided the year into summer and winter terms so kids could pitch in with the spring planting and fall harvest. |
| 7:15
| Urban students sometimes had 48 weeks of school per year with one break per quarter. Attendance was often sparse since school wasn't mandatory. |
| 7:16
| Steve didn't mind his boys being off during the summer. The break always seemed longer than it was and it was fun to watch them get bummed out when they had to go back to school. |
| 7:17
| Piper is off but there are so many activities she's signed up for. She has a summer camp she's doing in the morning, then she'll be going to a film camp at Facets where they'll watch movies, talk about them and write critiques. |
| 7:18
| Buzz is going to Jamaica next week. Steve is staying home, except for when he goes to LA on Tuesday for Sox at Dodgers. Steve's dad is coming to the game but they won't know about his brother until Monday. |
| 7:19
| Pat and his wife are moving back to Chicago on Wednesday. They've hired someone to drive their second car but there's a part of Steve that wants to do it himself. The only thing that's stopping him is that the car isn't nice enough. |
| 7:20
| Steve probably won't be going to New York to see Patrick Bertoletti in the Nathan's competition. Buzz thinks Patrick will be really disappointed. It seems like Patrick hasn't made much of an effort to get Steve there. If he got him credentials he'll go. |
| 7:21
| To be honest Steve doesn't really want to go. It's an 8 minute hot dog eating contest. This could be the year he wins though and there are flights in and out of New York every hour. |
| 7:22
| For the most part Steve is staying home but he's going to LA and maybe New York. He does go to New Buffalo, that's exotic right? There's a beach and a hamburger place with a rooftop deck, that makes it exotic right? They also have a casino but sadly they've voted down a gentleman's club. |
| 7:23
| Steve was concerned about where they were going to get the talent for the gentleman's club. Based on the local people they don't have what it takes to staff a gentleman's club. Strippers will travel though and maybe they'll settle down and start a new generation of exotic dancers. |
| 7:29
| Today is game 1 of the Crosstown Classic. Buzz only knows that because he'll be inconvenienced going home today. That's a 1:05 start time right? We've got Bill Melton on the phone right now. |
| 7:30
| Every time Bill does a game he sees Steve in the crowd with one of his sons. They put him on TV all the time, he didn't know that though. Bill thinks he looks good and relaxed. He's got his arms crossed and the look of a guy who has a morning show and is taking advantage of his chances. |
| 7:31
| Steve has enjoyed going to more games this year and it doesn't hurt that the team is playing well. Bill would like to see the bats be a little more consistent but this is the line-up they've got now. |
| 7:32
| The team is built to play at The Cell and the entire line-up is a home run threat. They scored a lot of runs against the Pirates this week but they do cycle in and out of scoring runs. |
| 7:33
| They scored a lot of runs in Minnesota then went to Detroit and got swept. Bill thinks it'll be a good series even if it's a hassle to get there. Bill can't decide if he should take the 156 bus or a cab. But when he's going to the shrine he likes to take a limo. |
| 7:34
| Bill thinks that a lot of the new Sox players will understand what a playoff atmosphere these games are. It'll probably come down to homefield for both series. |
| 7:35
| Last year was embarrassing for the Sox but Bill is looking for a split this year because both teams are so good at home. |
| 7:36
| Bill better not see Steve at Wrigley this weekend with his arms crossed though. Steve's not going but he'd have to sit arms crossed because the seats are so small there. |
| 7:37
| Bill played hot corner for the Sox and now he's getting to become a very good broadcaster. Buzz thinks he's very personable. |
| 7:38
| Steve did not get an invite to the Cubs game from anyone. Not Pete, not Ed, not his boys. He just has to sit at home and watch it on TV like a shlub. |
| 7:39
| Steve isn't secure enough in his manhood to go to the bathroom in a trough anyway. He has to wait for a stall and that is very time-consuming. |
| 7:40
| Buzz doesn't go to Wrigley Field but he's had the trough experience elsewhere. Who else has troughs? Gay pornos start with a trough in a bathroom. |
| 7:45
| There are several interesting calls on hold, all people guessing where Buzz has used a trough in a bathroom. |
| 7:46
| Caller Chuck is wondering if Buzz was ever at the Old Comiskey? He was not, so he did not use a trough there. |
| 7:47
| Caller Mickey's guess is Durty Nellie's in Palatine. Buzz has gone out there so that's a trough experience. Steve used that trough as well but only when he was there in the afternoon soundchecking and the only person in the bathroom. |
| 7:48
| Caller Rick's guess is Poplar Creek. He distinctly remembers walking in there and going "Whoa!" It's not a good experience. The trough at Wrigley is a dealbreaker for Steve. He can't have season tickets to a trough. |
| 7:49
| It could be Poplar Creek although Steve could see Buzz having access to better bathrooms. He could also see Johnny B keeping Buzz away from the better bathrooms. |
| 7:50
| Caller Jeff also doesn't like the troughs at Wrigley. The ones in the upper deck are the worst because they're in the middle with a half wall in between them. So not only do you have to go into a trough but you're looking across at a dude while you're doing. It's like a dating service. |
| 7:51
| How does Pete put up with the troughs when he goes to games? Pete like it which is good to hear. It's actually caused him to cut down on his drinking. Steve calls down to the newsroom. |
| 7:52
| Buzz is apparently free Willy with these troughs though. Steve once went in the sink at Wrigley. The sinks are more like fountains, they look like futuristic troughs to Jim. It's the same material as the trough though, how is Steve supposed to know?! Jim is surprised that doesn't happen more often at games. |
| 7:53
| Jim doesn't like the troughs either, he usually either waits for the stall or goes to the bathroom in the club that faces Addison. It's open to the general public and there are two bathrooms in there. |
| 7:54
| Steve also heard that Jim carries a fake baby so he can use the family bathrooms. It was also a good way to pick up women when he was single. Did Jim go look at the wedding places yesterday? |
| 7:55
| Jim saw three places but not the one they talked about yesterday. Nothing really stood out though. He should have made an effort to resist some of this, he's already seen three places. |
| 7:56
| Jim was actually calling the places to schedule appointments, he's really in deep. He's going to be Groomzilla like Pat Dahl was. So far so good, it might be too late for him to come back. Next thing he knows he'll be at Wrigley Field sitting down and going to the bathroom. Why sit when you can stand? |
| 7:57
| Pete and Jim aren't going to Cubs games, they both have weddings to go to. No one bothered to invite Steve this weekend though. Steve has never taken Jim to a game but he has taken Pete and Ed. Apparently one game wasn't enough. |
| 7:58
| Pete doesn't even have tickets but they're easy to get. You can always get tickets to anything. Just go on Stub Hub. Steve knows how much Pete and Jim make, they can afford to buy Steve tickets for a game. Steve went to Stub Hub for Sox at Dodgers tickets and got seats right away. |
| 7:59
| The Cubs are actually selling some of their tickets directly to Stub Hub, they don't even go to the fans first. Even the really close seats you buy at Wrigley don't come with anything like free food or beer. |
| 8:00
| Caller Bob has an idea of where Buzz might have used a trough. Apparently Buzz has used troughs all over Chicago though. |
| 8:01
| Bob hasn't been there in 20 years but he's fairly certain the Orange Bowl in Miami has troughs. Buzz was on there once and that was as a Cuban detainee. |
| 8:02
| Alright can we stop with the trough guessing game now? It seems like Buzz likes to whip it out all over town. Access to a trough might even determine what events Buzz goes to. |
| 8:03
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:04
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Friday and not only are Steve and Buzz kicking off the weekend but also a new product, the Queso Crunch Wrap. It contains three kinds of cheeses and seasoned beef. |
| 8:05
| Everything at Taco Bell contains Buzz's favorite ingredients, it's uncanny! Steve and Buzz are also enjoying strawberry Fruitistas. |
| 8:06
| Patrick Bertoletti is on the phone, he just woke up. Thanks for doing that for us. Normally we talk to Patrick at 6 but he was up late with work last night. |
| 8:07
| Patrick was staying up to talk to Steve which might have resulted in some crazed phone calls. If he cares it doesn't sound much better now. |
| 8:08
| Patrick's heading off to New York on July 3rd for the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Everyone is staying at The W in Manhattan. It seems like a security breach to reveal that info or maybe just an invite to get the ladies to call. |
| 8:09
| Nathan's is the Super Bowl of competitive eating and Patrick is the #2 ranked eater in the world. He could very well win this year, his practice runs are really coming together. His only competition could be Kobayashi and he puked last year. |
| 8:10
| That's why Steve wants to go to New York, to make sure something like that doesn't happen again. Joey Chestnut won with 66 hot dogs. Kobayashi allegedly came in second but he had a reversal of fortune. |
| 8:11
| The judges didn't disqualify him because-and this is gross-he was able to get it back in his mouth. As long as it doesn't hit the table it's OK. Patrick came in third with 47. Steve didn't remember it being that low, he might have to back another horse. |
| 8:12
| Steve's still not sure if he's going to New York though. Patrick has all of Steve's credentials right? This has the feel of the Craig Gass/King of Queens incident. |
| 8:13
| Craig and Patrick are both funny, both personable great guys but they're a little loose. You don't want to rely on them for something like credentials. Patrick wouldn't rely on himself either, Steve's better off using his connections at Jack. |
| 8:14
| Steve would want to be up on stage while Patrick is eating but that might not be appropriate. No one wants to see Steve up on stage looking disappointed in Patrick for not eating enough hot dogs. |
| 8:15
| Steve has a good feeling about this year though. Imagine that, it would be the ultimate payoff! It really is the last elusive victory for Patrick. He said he'd retire after winning Nathan's but he probably won't. Patrick is like the Brett Favre of competitive eating. |
| 8:16
| Patrick doesn't think anyone would care if he retired though. People would care! Steve likes Patrick better with no sleep, he's all moody and mopey now. If we didn't care we wouldn't have him on during primetime of the show. |
| 8:17
| Steve thinks he'll do well at Nathan's. It doesn't sound like Patrick is going to put it together right now though. Buzz thinks this could be part of the process for Patrick, the roller coaster he has to put himself on. |
| 8:18
| This is on ESPN right? Patrick thought it was on ESPN2. He has to know something! Steve could just sit here and read all of this if he wanted to. It's on ESPN2 at 11 am Chicago time. |
| 8:19
| They do a whole build-up to that, they were filming Steve and Buzz to be part of that right? That was actually for Food Network. ESPN usually focuses on Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut and follow them around. Did they follow Patrick around? If they did that would be an indicator that he's going to be featured on ESPN with them. |
| 8:20
| Maybe they'll just meet Patrick in New York and follow him around like the opening of That Girl. Steve can't even understand what Patrick is saying now. |
| 8:21
| When Steve's depressed he eats so maybe that's what Patrick is doing. Unfortunately Steve eats when he's happy too and as you can tell he's a man of extremes. |
| 8:29
| Patrick Bertoletti was on The Early Show on CBS eating pizzas in New York. Maybe this show isn't big enough for Patrick any more? |
| 8:30
| Steve is serious when he says Patrick could win Nathan's this year. Buzz thinks it would be fabulous to have the eating champ as part of our entourage. Steve can see Patrick dropping us like a hot potato if he wins Nathan's. |
| 8:31
| The same thing happened with Vlasta. Steve had her on for 5 years and then she goes on Carson and drops him like a hot potato. |
| 8:32
| News with Buzz |
| 8:33
| It is officially summer and has been summer for about an hour and a half. Nice! |
| 8:34
| It's also the 10th annual Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Bring your dog? Who would let someone bring their dog to work unless they were blind? Steve doesn't even like when people bring their kids to work. |
| 8:35
| All eyes are on the Midwest as people wait to see how levees hold along the Mississippi and other rivers. |
| 8:36
| Steve doesn't want to bum Buzz out but the solstices is actually at 6:59 tonight, not this morning. He's only 12 hours off, it's still a good story. |
| 8:37
| While we're on the subject of flooding, Steve just saw something funny and troubling on CNN. Also, Steve doesn't need to see white trash people explain flooding. |
| 8:38
| CNN has these people covering the flood. They have one guy-the same one who was in the water yesterday showing how fast it was moving-in front of a group of people inefficiently making sandbags. Then the guy leans in and looks in the camera, it was very weird and theatrical and unnecessary. |
| 8:39
| So far Steve hasn't seen CNN talking to anyone who's happy about the flooding. It's not like anyone is looking forward to do some boating very close to their house. All you get is some nervous laughing. |
| 8:40
| You don't want to see someone's entire life ruined like that but CNN is covering it in such a dramatic way. That's because they've got all these hot dog reporters out doing the story. |
| 8:41
| In other water news scientists believe that NASA's Phoenix Mars lander has photographed ice. |
| 8:42
| Barack Obama has apologized to two Muslim women who were barred from sitting behind his podium during a rally. They were wearing head scarves and someone in the Obama campaign thought that would be unwise. |
| 8:43
| Steve's going to put Mark Czerniec on, he's got some funny weather coverage observations. The water is subsiding in Wisconsin but the rain is probably going to keep coming. |
| 8:44
| Yesterday Mark flipped on CNN and one of the reporters was talking about damage to corn. He went through all the products that use corn in some way. So he was really making it hit home for people who's homes weren't flooded. It was helpful that he held up a candy bar and a juice box instead of just saying the products. |
| 8:45
| It wouldn't really hit home for Buzz unless it was his preferred candy bar. It's like Carrot Top is doing the news though. |
| 8:46
| Another reporter was talking to some guys who were filling sandbags and asking them how long they'd been there. Did he hold up a clock to demonstrate how long two hours were? |
| 8:47
| Meanwhile another channel had a guy on who had written a book about someone who had damaged a levee. The point of the book was that these levees had been built in the 1930s and you could tell that this flood was going to happen months ago. |
| 8:48
| Those Army Corps of Engineers guys really do a great job don't they? Mark's going to keep us posted by calling us, on the phone. |
| 8:54
| On CNN they asked one flood victim why he didn't have flood insurance. He said that the insurance wouldn't cover everything. That's one way to look at it. Having flood insurance has to be better than not having it, it must pay for something. |
| 8:55
| Buzz was very concerned about flooding when he moved to his place near the lake. He's on the ground floor so he's a concern. Steve though Buzz was on the 20th floor or something. If water gets that high he has other concerns. |
| 8:56
| Buzz has lived on the top floor and had leak issues. In Florida he once lived at the lowest point of Laguna Canyon. Steve and his friends called those a wash. You never really get it until it rains heavily and there's 4 feet of water in your living room. |
| 8:57
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:58
| It's time for another installment with the Townstone Players, places everyone! Today Steve is playing the part of David Hochberg and Buzz will be playing Steven Hochberg, his brother. David will thankfully be playing no one. |
| 8:59
| David's brother is also in the business with David. This is a one-man tour de force performance for Buzz. |
| 9:00
| Now back to Buzz in the news room. |
| 9:01
| A belligerent, drunk man has been arrested after threatening to start a fire on a Delta flight. Flight attendants refused his request for more liquor. The man allegedly slapped the flight attendant, then moved forward toward the cabin and tried to start curtains on fire. |
| 9:02
| Why can you still bring lighters on a flight? It seems like a lighter can do a lot of damage on a plane. You can't bring shampoo on but you can bring a lighter? |
| 9:03
| A Florida man was caught on security camera holding up a convenient store using a palm frond as a disguise. It's like you're being robbed by a tree. The man then hit the clerk on the head with the palm frond. |
| 9:04
| Britney Spears sister Jamie-Lynn has given birth to her first child. And that child is presently a bastard. Steve likes to point that out because he's on Bastard Watch. |
| 9:05
| Walter Jacobson was charged with drunk driving after hitting a parked car near his Lincoln Park home and then failing a breathalyzer. His lawyers say police have the story all wrong. He didn't hit anything and he wasn't driving anything while under the influence. |
| 9:06
| Police arrested Jacobson in the alley behind his home and his car was damaged. This is the second time in 4 years that he's failed a breathalyzer. Wasn't the other one near his home too? |
| 9:07
| Walter was attending a Today's Chicago Women event at a high rise near his house. Why didn't he just walk? Steve and Buzz saw Walter at that Bill Kurtis event with the woman who is the editor of Today's Chicago Woman. |
| 9:08
| The other arrest was also near his home wasn't it? Last night on NBC Bob Sirott said Jacobson's lawyers would beat the charges. That seemed like the wrong term to use. |
| 9:09
| The nation's governor's are meeting this weekend but Governor Blagojevich will not be among them. Instead he'll be downstate monitoring flood damage. |
| 9:10
| Caller John was wondering if Buzz is playing in Berwyn tonight, they're having their centennial. Buzz will be there with his band. |
| 9:11
| John didn't hear Buzz mention it so he thought maybe he was embarrassed to be playing out there. It's a soft ticket which means Buzz doesn't have to worry about promoting it that much. |
| 9:12
| John didn't see Buzz's name on the poster so he had to check. Now he's just hurting Buzz's feelings. There was a poster but Buzz's name wasn't on there. John's wife seen it in the paper though so he wanted to double check. |
| 9:13
| Finally in Gainesville, Florida a local man is trying to help homeless people through the formation of a soccer team. Anthony Lyons managed to get new equipment but he can't get anyone interested. One homeless man said it's hard to play a sport when you're looking for a job. No one down on Lower Wacker is looking for a job. They couldn't be happier staying up late partying and then looking like zombies all day. None of them want to play soccer unless the treat mom brings a fifth of whisky. |
| 9:24
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:25
| Alright it's time for a report from Peanut Butter, Pat Boyle. |
| 9:30
| Steve let Pat slide and do a recorded report today, he's very busy. He was complaining about a noon broadcast today. That's at noon though! |
| 9:31
| That Tampa Bay, everyone is nuts coming out of there. That's where Ozzie went nuts as well and now so did Lou. |
| 9:32
| Hopefully the weather clears up for the big game today. What's the weather even supposed to be like today? Buzz says partly sunny but also a late storm. What is late? Buzz is concerned because he has a late afternoon gig in Berwyn. |
| 9:33
| Speaking of that, someone sent Steve a copy of the poster for the event tonight and Buzz's name is on it. So that other listener was just trying to rile him up. |
| 9:34
| By the way, that report from yesterday about a 6th foot washing ashore in British Columbia was a hoax. Buzz so wanted it to be real! |
| 9:35
| According to AccuWeather it's supposed to rain at 3 then clear up by 4 and then rain again at 9. That's perfect for Buzz! |
| 9:36
| Caller Mike is calling in about that homeless soccer league in Florida. There was a story on Real Sports about a league of homeless soccer players. There's also a homeless soccer tournament in Europe. The hardest part about that is getting homeless people passports. |
| 9:37
| Caller John would like to go see the homeless soccer team play but who's the home team? That's a funny joke but Steve would have appreciated if John didn't deliver it like he was at Zanie's. |
| 9:38
| John won the bonus prize today. It was great to see Buzz pantomiming that he didn't have the prize sheet. He's like Marceau Marceau! It's Buzz against the wind, Buzz in a box, Buzz going down the stairs. He might want to think about some side work as a mime. |
| 9:39
| Has Buzz seen Last Comic Standing? That could be why Steve was more irritated about John's joke delivery. John's joke was funny but nothing on this show is funny. Plus Steve's mad that there's nothing else to watch. |
| 9:40
| Steve's looking at a website for the Homeless World Cup. It's in Melbourne, maybe Steve and Buzz should do a broadcast from there. |
| 9:41
| Homeless soccer isn't going to be funny if it's actually helping people. That doesn't help Steve. |
| 9:42
| Steve and Buzz might want to get 2007 Copenhagen Homeless World Cup t-shirt. It has a Nike Swoosh on it so it must be real. |
| 9:43
| Steve doesn't think the guys on Lower Wacker are motivated enough to join up. Steve and Buzz should still go down and kick the ball around and see if anyone picks it up. |
| 9:50
| Steve has to say that Ozzie Guillen is getting to the point where Steve can't understand a word he's saying. He's like Ricky Ricardo or Chef Hans. |
| 9:51
| Apparently there's a movie about homeless soccer players called Kicking It, made by a bunch of do-gooders. That takes all the fun out of it for Steve. |
| 9:52
| Alright time to open the mailbag. The first email is about the R. Kelly trial. Everyone who worked in the media pool loved the coverage and welcomed Brendan to the post-verdict party. Was there a party last Friday? Why doesn't Brendan come in here. |
| 9:53
| The event was actually on Wednesday at Corcoran's in Old Town. He thought it would be a few reporters but it was a well-done event with a lot of people, including reporters and county staffers. |
| 9:54
| The main prosecutor said he was a big fan of the show and wouldn't want Brendan or Buzz on his jury but would want Steve. |
| 9:55
| The next emailer suggests Pete take Nair to New York with him this weekend and mix it in with the girlfriend's roommates shampoo. He should make sure they don't share shampoo but if they do what else are they sharing? They do share a bathroom already. Does Steve need to come with Pete this weekend? |
| 9:56
| The next email is from Randi Belisomo at CLTV. This show was the show of record for everyone covering the trial and Brendan is a star. Steve doesn't even get emails like this! |
| 9:57
| The trial coverage was fun but Steve didn't like the verdict. He would have liked to see R. go away and do sometime, maybe wipe that smirk off his face. |
| 9:58
| Brendan had arranged to have Sam Adams Jr. call in on Monday but as we were talking to him over the weekend it seemed like they were celebrating. Mary said it sounded like they were on Cedric Benson's boat. |
| 9:59
| Steve doesn't normally like to do four emails but he has to do this last one before the break. It's from a gentleman named Joel Brodsky, Buzz might know him. Brendan saw Joel at he courthouse and he wanted the address of the station for Drew to send Steve something. Brendan got a lot done at the courthouse. |
| 10:00
| Joel was following up to make sure that Steve got the package from Drew, it's the t-shirt he was wearing in that Sun-Times photo. Steve did get it but he's afraid to open it. It has hand-written labels by Drew. On the shirt Drew has handwritten "Steve, you're always on my mind." That's not good. |
| 10:01
| Finally there's a note from Drew saying Steve had more fun with the shirt than Steve did. He also gave Steve his cell number in case he wanted to meet up at Buffalo Wild Wings. |
