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| 5:31
| Steve was out in the hallway discussing show-related things so he wasn't able to start up the musical interlude. It's not too late to start it either, according to Steve's calculations we still have 4 hours and 29 minutes of show left. It's never too late to waste 3 minutes with an opening. |
| 5:34
| How does Buzz like the theme so far? He's actually sick of it now, it's feast or famine really. Steve likes the theme, it has the feel of the hustle and bustle of the city. |
| 5:35
| Steve was out in the hallway talking about his car. He's getting a new one because the other one is 5 years old. That's longer than Steve likes to keep a car. |
| 5:36
| He's getting a guzzler as his new car, he'll be paying the gas guzzler tax of $1200. That's nothing! It's cool that it says "gas guzzler" on the sticker. |
| 5:37
| Steve doesn't like going to the dealership, he likes to have a car brought to him that he can try out. He wanted to try out a more expensive one but he actually liked the one they brought him. It's like having a pizza delivered. |
| 5:38
| The dealership wanted Steve to try the car out yesterday afternoon but he needs to drive it to work, that's his prime driving time. The guy who dropped the car off was telling Steve all about the other car he wanted him to buy. That one was way more expensive and Steve likes the one he tried out just fine. |
| 5:39
| Most car companies allow you to go online and "build" your car. Whenever Steve is given an option he takes it so the car he built is double the sticker price. Steve doesn't even know what a xenon bulb is but he wants one! Buzz went a little overboard with the options when he got the Grand Prix. |
| 5:40
| Stephanie is handling the negotiations for the car, she was the one who got the dealership to bring the car over and leave it over night. Steve doesn't want the other car with all the options, he'd have to be Lance Briggs to have something like that. |
| 5:41
| The dealership wanted Steve to give them a plug but if he buys the car he doesn't have to do that. For all anyone else knows Steve is driving a Ford Taurus. A candy apple red Ford Taurus! |
| 5:42
| Steve has an SUV but as he approaches 54 he's ready to move to a luxury car. He feels like Idi Amin in this car. One of the features of the car is a driver's seat that tightens up slightly when you make a left or right turn. So if Steve takes a hard turn there's no slide over. |
| 5:43
| Steve's really glad he likes the car he was brought because of how expensive the other one was. That way he doesn't get in trouble at home. He does get hassled by Pat who says he's not being green enough. |
| 5:44
| Steve doesn't care how he leaves this planet for his kids. This way Pat has a great person to blame for the environmental problems, Steve. And even Steve's grandkids can blame him, that's how it works. Maybe it'll cause someone to invent an engine that runs on garbage like in Back to the Future. |
| 5:45
| Steve is trying to remember what other features the car has. There's a camera on the back of the car so you don't run over your kids when you're backing up. It also allows Steve to see what a sweet brick driveway he has. |
| 5:46
| The camera also has night vision so it looks like Steve is in the military. He saw some bogies last night at his 2 o'clock, a couple of ladies walking through the neighborhood. It's sort of like you're making a movie in the car because the screen pops up where your odometer is. |
| 5:47
| Steve's trying to get into filmmaking, he wants in on Ebert and Roeper's new movie review show. Steve has finally figured out what happened. When Ebert sued Disney to get back the thumbs up/thumbs down thing that was the beginning of the end. |
| 5:48
| Steve has a feeling that Ebert and Roeper will hook up in the future for another movie review show. Steve is seeing one movie per week but he could lie and say he's seen all the movies they've seen. |
| 5:49
| Steve looks like Roger Ebert to a certain extent. Whenever he's in Florida the old ladies think he's Roger Ebert. And he's nailed some of those old ladies under the guise of being Roger Ebert. Roger now has a very good reputation down there. They say stuff like "I thought you liked the dark meat" There are many 80 and 90-year-old women in Florida who think they were satisfied by Roger Ebert but it was really just Steve. |
| 5:50
| Buzz's sister-in-law was in town a few weeks, at a bar downtown, and she was hit on my Stormin' Norm Van Lier. Isn't he married? Buzz is pretty sure he's alone, otherwise this is a guy code violation. |
| 5:51
| When Steve hosted the Comcast Sports Awards he accidentally introduced Norm Van Lier as Dan Jiggetts. Steve saw the ESPY's and he was put to shame by Justin Timberlake's hosting of those awards. Of course Justin had more of a budget and didn't have to work with Mike Liederman. All Mike wanted to do is have lunch. |
| 5:52
| Steve fast-forwarded through some of the sappier parts of the ESPY's although he did watch the segment about the guys who threw up the black power fist at the 1968 Olympics. |
| 5:53
| There was also a segment about a girl's softball player who tore her ACL watching her home run ball go out of the park. She was unable to walk so two girls from the other team picked her up and had her touch every base. |
| 5:54
| Steve has not come up with a Thought for the Day yet. There's not much going on plus Steve was too focused on his new car. Maybe after the break people can call in and give Steve suggestions or at least ideas. |
| 5:55
| Buzz thinks there's a lot going on although most of it is only stuff that interests him. What about the jalapeños being tied to salmonella? Or the first flamingo eggs laid at the Lincoln Park Zoo in 50 years? There's also the story about the Bolivian farmers who have given up growing food and started growing opium plants. |
| 6:02
| There was one part during the ESPY's when Justin Timberlake was playing basketball and making a lot of his shot. It seemed like he was really making the shots, right Pete? |
| 6:03
| Pete knows that Justin is an excellent athlete, he's a great golfer too. OK Pete, put your pants back on. He's over in his studio thinking about Justin Timberlake. |
| 6:04
| After making all those shots he went to the players from the Memphis Tigers and said "See, is that so hard?" Then he went over to a dad of one of the Jayhawks players and said "We'll miss you but you'll never miss those" It was a compliment but the guy took it the wrong way or didn't get it. |
| 6:05
| Another good segment was Justin inserting himself into various press conferences, like the one where T.O. was crying. If Pete just played the audio that would work right? |
| 6:06
| So far no listeners have called in with ideas for the Thought for the Day. Steve's working on something with jalapeños but maybe he'll just skip it for a while. Steve has a hard time giving up something that he's created for himself to do. Buzz suggests guest thinkers for the Thought for the Day. |
| 6:07
| Alright, let's go to the tape that Pete has ready. |
| 6:08
| That Justin Timberlake is a funny little fella. You want to not like him but you can't help yourself. |
| 6:09
| Not one person has called in with an idea for the Thought for the Day. Two people called in but hung up as soon as Brendan put them on hold. The first guy's idea was "Do rats think that bats are angels?" You should probably just hang up on that one. |
| 6:10
| Buzz likes it, he's going to bring that home for dinner conversation tonight. At first blush it seemed stupid but the more Steve thinks about it the more he likes it. |
| 6:11
| Steve would still like some listener suggestions, come on people! He won't make fun of you! The creative process is difficult. Not only is Steve doing a 4 1/2 hour show everyday but some how he roped himself into doing a blog and a Thought for the Day. The best part about the show being on hiatus is that Steve doesn't have to write a blog. |
| 6:12
| Caller Ken was the guy who came up with "Do rats think that bats are angels?" It's something he came up with and he's been saying it for a while now. Now that George Carlin has passed away we're looking for a new observational comic. |
| 6:13
| At the very least Ken's idea could turn into a children's book which in turn becomes a movie. It's amazing how one idea can be so fertile. Look at George Lucas with Star Wars. |
| 6:14
| Another caller was suggesting that staff members come up with their own Thought for the Day but that was already suggested. That seems unfair to make them do that plus what if their Thought for the Day emails are better than Steve's? |
| 6:15
| Caller Fred reminds Steve that Jimmy Buffett is coming to town. Steve needs more than that. Jimmy comes to town too much anyway, how can we miss him if he never goes away. |
| 6:16
| Jimmy's not here until Thursday so maybe Steve will save that. He's having real writer's block with these Thought for the Day emails. He's really mad that he said Barack Obama was in Afghanistan yesterday when he was in Iraq. |
| 6:17
| Steve got a lot of responses to that one, people were accusing him of not liking Barack Obama or being a racist. One woman keeps emailing Steve and accusing him of being a racist because of that and the Jesse Jackson stuff. Steve's not the one who said the n-word, it was Jesse. He didn't even do it in a cool Snoop Dogg way either. |
| 6:18
| Buzz doesn't remember hearing any highlights of this but last week on The View Whoopi Goldberg was defending the use of the n-word by certain people Her and Elisabeth Hasselbeck got into it. Steve tends to agree with whatever Elisabeth is saying just because he likes when she cries. |
| 6:19
| Caller Jim is in Anboy, Illinois. Where is that? It's in the Dixon/Mendota area. Jim's Thought for the Day is "What do you do when your 17-year-old son goes on vacation and starts hanging out with 23-year-old strippers?" |
| 6:20
| Is that Jim's idea or an actual problem he's having? It's both actually. In that case you give your son an "attaboy" but then act completely outraged when talking to your wife about it. Jim is actually just mad that he didn't get a invitation. That might be creepy though. |
| 6:21
| So how is the son hanging out with strippers? He's in Albuquerque working on some wrought-iron fencing at a relative's house. After a long day in the hot son they called up some strippers who came over to the house. |
| 6:22
| So they're hanging out with strippers that they eventually convert to being girlfriends. Steve has to say that's very impressive. |
| 6:23
| If Jim gets any photos he'll send them along to Steve. Steve was just going to ask about that but he doesn't want any actions shots. They need to be willy-free photos. |
| 6:24
| Janet emailed her suggestion to Steve, "Now that the FCC fines for the topless Super Bowl antics have been struck down, Janet Jackson is working on a crotchless cheerleading routine for the NBA Finals next year." He's just going to go with that one. |
| 6:25
| Brian calls in from Lowell to suggest "Everyday above ground is a good day." That's not really true. Another suggestion is "If 7-11 is open 24 hours why are there locks on the doors?" That's from someone's comedy routine isn't it? Finally there's "Your words are your jailor" which is true. |
| 6:26
| Steve will just go with Janet's suggestion and take full credit for it. Who will know except for the people listening right now? Steve probably jotted it down and left it on the nightstand in the middle of the night. |
| 6:33
| Alright Mark Czerniec, who's up at our headquarters in Racine, Googled "Do mice think bats are angels?" and found it on the MySpace page of some girl in Ireland. What are we to think now? |
| 6:34
| So it could be part of the public domain or in someone's comedy routine. Or maybe Ken and this girl are on the same page. |
| 6:35
| Alright it's time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "Have you ever smuggled something in your pants?" Yesterday we decided the proper term was "pantsing in" although Ed Silha refused to use it. He associates pantsing with having your pants pulled down, something that probably happened to Ed all through grade school, middle school, high school and even college. |
| 6:36
| Today's web poll question is "Have you ever tried potachos?" Steve's guessing it's some sort of combination of potatoes and nachos. Potachos use the base of nachos with the topping of potato skins which are cheddar cheese, bacon and sour cream. |
| 6:37
| Steve stopped at Al's Beef last night and got the heart-healthy combo. They had french fries with bacon, cheese and sour cream which Janet got. |
| 6:38
| This recipe is using unsalted Kettle chips. Yesterday Steve went out to lunch with Jeff Joniak and Tom Thayer at the Tavern on the Park in the building. That's the one where Jim DeCastro is a partner. Steve and Buzz used to work for Jim, who became a multi-millionaire off the sweat of their brains. |
| 6:39
| Jim never offered Steve and Buzz a stock option although they were too stupid to ask for one. Jim's also one of the guys who ruined radio by combining all the stations under one company. |
| 6:40
| Steve has to say that he had a bad club sandwich downstairs. He thought it was going to be like the kind he gets in a hotel room based on the menu. This thing had too much turkey, it was too big and there was a slice of cheddar and a slice of swiss. You don't put cheese on a club sandwich! |
| 6:41
| Steve took one bite and said "I am unhappy with my club sandwich" Steve was going to order something else but Thayer just took it and started eating. His first bite was right where Steve had taken his bite. Tom has a skirt steak salad and Steve took a bite of that. |
| 6:42
| The club sandwich was roast turkey and applewood smoked bacon but Steve didn't see the cheese on the menu. You have to drop the cheese, you can't have that on a club sandwich. Steve's going back today and demanding a sandwich without cheese. Frankly Steve doesn't remember seeing the bacon either. |
| 6:43
| They also made Tom take his hat off because they have a no hat policy. He's an '85 Bear, he can do whatever he wants. A 1985 Bear can walk into that restaurant, pick any woman he wants and nail her right there on her table. '85 Bears have full immunity. |
| 6:44
| Steve was offended but Tom didn't care. Steve's going back to right all of those wrongs today though. First of all, you don't put cheese on a club sandwich! And put on more bacon, not more turkey. The bacon is the whole reason you get a club sandwich. The waiter also looked at Steve like he was crazy when he wanted to substitute butter for mayo. Either option isn't very healthy. |
| 6:45
| Tom didn't care though, he just grabbed Steve's sandwich and ate it. Steve also had an Arnold Palmer and Tom wondered why it was called that. Steve's not familiar with the entomology but he assumes it's because Arnold Palmer liked drinking them. |
| 6:46
| Buzz feels this sandwich is the work of a misguided chef. It was a double decker too making it even more difficult to eat than a normal club sandwich. |
| 6:47
| After lunch Tom left to go workout and Steve and Jeff sat around and talked about how great Tom is. He's a great guy, you can always depend on him and there are so few people like that. |
| 6:48
| Entomology is the study of insects, etymology is the study of word origins. Imagine if you're signing up for your college major and you accidentally signed up for the wrong one. |
| 6:55
| Apparently you can put cheese on a club sandwich but Steve wants nothing to do with it. A club sandwich should be a little bit of turkey, a ton of bacon, lettuce, tomato, maybe some avocado or a sprout on toast. |
| 6:56
| Put a toothpick in each side and send it up to Steve's room with a fruit salad stat! Brendan says that J. Alexander's makes a good club sandwich. Steve's going to start making his own. He likes it better than other people make it for him though. |
| 6:57
| They have really good food at the Tavern on the Park, so far this is the only thing Steve has found to be egregious. That and Tom having to take his hat off. He's an '85 Bear! They're lucky he has pants on! |
| 6:58
| Steve had a team building dinner at Tavern on the Park although Buzz was not in attendance. He usually can't make most staff dinners because the plans are last-minute and he has a busy schedule. He has chores to do and he has to babysit. Or he's just sitting in his back room watching movies. |
| 6:59
| We had a dinner at Tavern on the Park when we were getting ready to switch over to mornings. It was the whole gang except for Buzz and Mark Czerniec. He usually can't make it either because he's up in Wisconsin. |
| 7:00
| That was the meal where everything was going fine until Pete ordered a Coke and they only served Pepsi. Pete said that wasn't OK and nothing was the same after that. If the evening were a balloon that's when the air came out. |
| 7:01
| Did Pete sense that when it was happening? Did he realize that he ruined our night over a beverage? Even Brendan was trying to explain that Pepsi and Coke are pretty much the same. |
| 7:02
| Steve would like to find the idiot who sued some restaurant and made it so all servers had to ask "Is Pepsi OK?" Brendan couldn't believe it and he's just sitting there awaiting the delivery of a pot pie that was so big that it had a baby baked into it. |
| 7:03
| We never recovered after that, the waitress didn't know what to do and even her status as a cute girl couldn't help. Then Pete went with the vegetarian option and they never saw her again. She probably thought that with a guy like Pete she'd get a 5¢ tip. |
| 7:04
| Pete has since been out to a show dinner and he felt he redeemed himself. That was at L-Woods where they have Coke. Also it's Danny McGowan so you can't mess that up. That was the dinner where Pete sat there watching Steve's 30th anniversary cake fall on Buzz. |
| 7:05
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 7:06
| A nasty email about David Hochberg was sent to HeyWhatsUp@dahl.com and some how David ended up with it. He likes engaging these people but Steve tells him to just ignore it. Sometimes they're funny but most of the time you just want to ignore it. |
| 7:07
| The emailer wonders who David thinks he is to cast aspersions on Pat Dahl for waiting to buy a house. First of all Steve and David were talking about this on the air. Pat Dahl would live in Steve's basement forever if he could but Steve doesn't do multigenerational living in his house. |
| 7:08
| The emailer thinks David is one of those mortgage lenders who pushes tons of morons into houses they can't afford. That's not true though, David is one of those people who is trying to stand up against that. |
| 7:09
| Again Steve doesn't know how David ended up getting this email. Some of these people are just so crazy though, you haven't ignore it. |
| 7:10
| David is on the phone, he always goes berserk. There was another volley between David and this guy but Steve might not have it. Didn't David challenge him to a duel or something? |
| 7:11
| David didn't want anyone at Dahl.com involved with this guy, who CCed him on the original email. Whenever someone starts questioning your credentials you have to hit the delete key. |
| 7:12
| When Steve was a youngster the rule of thumb was 3 1/2 times your income for the cost of your house. David usually figures about 38% of your gross income. That factors in all of your debts as well as insurance and assessments if you're in a condo. |
| 7:13
| So if you make $100,000 you can afford a $350,000 house. When you're talking about your debts you go by the minimum. A lot of people got in trouble when the minimum went from 2% to 4%. That was the beginning of the downfall. |
| 7:14
| David should just delete emails like this. Anytime you respond to someone like this you elevate them to your level. |
| 7:15
| When Steve bought his first house the interest was 18 1/2% and no one even batted an eye. That's credit card interest! Plus 3 points for the closing! |
| 7:23
| Alright we've come to news time, although Steve wanted to do it right at 7. We got some good information from David Hochberg though. |
| 7:24
| Steve remembers being told that your house should cost 3 1/2 times your income. Maybe he's confusing that with an engagement ring being 3 months salary or something. |
| 7:25
| 3 1/2 times your income makes sense more than 10 1/2 times your income! It has to be coming to an end soon right? |
| 7:26
| News with Buzz |
| 7:27
| The FDA has found the source of the salmonella contamination, it's a specific kind of jalapeño peppers. They use human fertilizer in Mexico, that's always going to be a problem. Good thing Steve doesn't like jalapeños. |
| 7:28
| Patrick Bertoletti has been known to eat a couple hundred jalapeños in one sitting, hopefully he's being careful. Although if you eat 200 jalapeños at once and one is contaminated with salmonella you probably wouldn't know the difference. |
| 7:29
| Negotiators have talked a jumper down from the 7th floor of the Hart Senate Building in Washington DC. First they had to find someone who spoke Mandarin Chinese. |
| 7:30
| A suburban Chicago woman is asking Barack Obama to check on her 4 daughters while he's in the Middle East. Colleen Barghouti says her and her 5 children accompanied her husband, Yasser, to the Palestinian territories in 2007. |
| 7:31
| Barghouti says her husband allegedly threw her and her son out of the house and is holding their four daughters. Is she asking Obama to do this because he's still the senator from Illinois? |
| 7:32
| John Hinckley may be allowed to get a driver's license so he can get a job. A hearing was held yesterday to determine if Hinckley should get more time out of prison. Call Steve old fashion but if you shoot the president you stay in prison for the rest of your life. It's a better deterrent. |
| 7:33
| Talk show host Michael Savage is in hot water for comments he made about autism. On July 16th on his show The Savage Nation he had some discouraging words about autism. Steve and Buzz need a cooler name for this show. |
| 7:34
| Parents of children with autism are protesting outside of Savage's studios in New York and calling for him to be fired. Can't people protest without calling for someone to be fired? You're better off protesting and trying to educate the guy. |
| 7:35
| For the first time in 50 years flamingos at the Lincoln Park Zoo have laid potentially viable eggs. And they're pink? 10 eggs could begin hatching in about 2 weeks. Steve would like a flamingo for his backyard. |
| 7:36
| Passengers at O'Hare airport will soon pass through full-body screeners that allow TSA employees to spot hidden objects. Steve's not going through one of these without some sort of male enhancement. They'll say "Ma'am, will you please step out of line?" |
| 7:37
| Is this really necessary anyway? How much more can people be searched? You already have to take your belt off and your shoes and now this? Steve's going to need to fluff up before going through security now. He doesn't need a TSA guy looking at his willy. |
| 7:38
| They need to have a line for growers maybe. As a grower Steve thinks this is completely unfair. |
| 7:39
| Caller Larry has some flamingo information for Steve. A friend told him that if you have a pink flamingo in your yard it sometimes indicates that you're a swinger. |
| 7:40
| There must be a lot of swingers in Florida because everyone has those flamingo lawn ornaments. It could be worse if you have a live flamingo. |
| 7:41
| Steve doesn't want to be sending out the wrong signal though. He could see how that would be a signal that you're gay. |
| 7:42
| Maybe Buzz should put up a flamingo and see what happens. He likes that Swingtown show right? |
| 7:43
| Maurice Posley, an investigative reporter at the Tribune is resigning. He volunteered to be one of the staffers laid off in upcoming cuts. |
| 7:44
| In more upbeat news training camp begins tomorrow for the Bears. The team has also come to a new contract agreement with Brian Urlacher. Steve predicted that here months ago and it's not much more than he was getting before. Hopefully he uses some of that money to buy condoms. |
| 7:45
| Bad news on the Batman front where star Christian Bale is facing allegations that he assaulted his mother and his sister. That's not good if your own mom and sister are going to the police. Things were going so well too, why do that? |
| 7:53
| That's Swingtown, Buzz's favorite show. Steve doesn't have any local swingers info but he has some info from Atlanta. Steve doesn't want local info, he might see someone he knows. |
| 7:54
| Putting a flamingo in your yard or a photo of flamingo in your window is a sign that you're a swinger. This might have come from Las Vegas. |
| 7:55
| Another signal is to put rocks around your mailbox. In Atlanta rocks aren't usually used for decorative purposes on people's lawns. |
| 7:56
| So how does this work, people drive by your house and see a flamingo or the rocks? Steve has no idea, the whole thing seems fraught with peril. |
| 7:57
| When Buzz was younger he and his girlfriend were offered the chance to engage in swinging with another couple. He was completely horrified but he might have been more willing if the other girl was more attractive. |
| 7:58
| Basically the guy just wanted to nail Buzz's girlfriend. It wasn't an even trade off though! Buzz knew a few people who got into swinging. At first they thought it was great but 2 years later everyone is divorced. It's Pandora's box and it doesn't even matter what your wife's name is. |
| 7:59
| Live read: McCracken Financial |
| 8:00
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Sitting in front of Buzz is a #6 which is the Chalupa Supreme meal. Sometimes Steve upgrades to a Fruitista Freeze. |
| 8:01
| Steve didn't know that Taco Bell had numbered meals. It was Pat Dahl who pointed it out to him. Steve thinks outside the bun, don't get him wrong, but Pat's younger so he thinks even more outside the bun. |
| 8:02
| So they roll up to the Taco Bell and drive through raw as well and Pat orders the #6. Steve was shocked they had numbered meals. |
| 8:03
| They showed that Fergie a lot during the ESPY's and Steve couldn't figure out why. She presented an award but does she have any other connection? They also kept showing some African-American girl, she might have been a basketball player. |
| 8:04
| Brendan says that was Candace Parker of the WNBA and a Naperville native. A weird thing has been happening with Brendan lately. Whenever he talks on the air it sounds like his mic is on the verge of feedback. |
| 8:05
| Brendan used to put headphones but now he just has them on the desk and uses them as speakers. Steve could probably just ignore it instead of doing 20 minutes on it. |
| 8:06
| Steve's been trying to get better about stuff like that. Let's try it again. They kept showing this woman during the ESPY's. Brendan says it's Candace Parker. She's from Naperville right? |
| 8:07
| Mark Czerniec still hasn't found a formula to determine how much house you should buy. Steve still thinks it's 3 1/2 times your income. He did find something about engagement rings, it's 2 months salary. |
| 8:08
| Is Buzz loving his taco? He'll notice that Steve is not eating, they're eating in shifts. If they're both eating then they're both not talking. Steve really wants to eat his chalupa and tacos though. |
| 8:09
| Can Steve eat some of his food now? He might start with the Chalupa. He doesn't even know what they do to this thing but it's delicious. Where has the Chalupa been all of Steve's life? |
| 8:10
| The Chalupa has been around for a while, Steve remembers those ads with the chihuahua. He wasn't even paying attention though! |
| 8:11
| Does anyone know why they were showing Fergie so much at the ESPY's? Is it because her face is all pierced up? She's not dating an athlete is she? |
| 8:18
| Live read: Windy City Limousine |
| 8:19
| Windy City Limo is perfect for Buzz, he doesn't do airport pick-ups. |
| 8:20
| Steve has Pat Boyle's music way too low on his machine. And then there's the Joe Bee music. That guy totally abandoned Steve. |
| 8:21
| Steve created a new character from the Joe Bee character although not using that same music. Steve's going to get Pat Boyle on the phone first. |
| 8:22
| So Steve had the Joe Bee character and he was very popular. The Joebees guy might have been undercapitalized and one day he stopped advertising. |
| 8:23
| The whole Joe Bee thing went bad when Mr. Buzz Kill Mark Czerniec served up his reality sandwich and informed Steve that male bees don't have stingers. The whole Joe Bee thing hinged on him showing Buzz his stinger. |
| 8:24
| So Steve was sitting in his basement brainstorming about a new character because he likes using this insect voice. He came up with Moe Squito since it's a horrible mosquito season. |
| 8:25
| After doing some more research Steve learned that only females suck blood. What is going on with male insects? Everything is backwards. |
| 8:26
| Steve did a lot of research on mosquitoes because he didn't want a repeat of the Joe Bee thing. He learned that mosquitoes don't sting, they bite and pump an anti-coagulant into your body. You're allergic to that so you get the bump. |
| 8:27
| Male mosquitoes only collect pollen, they don't suck blood because they don't need it. Steve could do a female mosquito voice but he's not comfortable showing Buzz the stinger. |
| 8:28
| Steve has some music for the Mo Squito segment. Like Tina Turner he never does anything easy. Also like Tina Turner he was force-fed a piece of cake by Ike Turner in a diner. |
| 8:29
| Steve downloaded 9 mosquito songs, exercising some self-control and not getting the 10th one. Since he spent 99¢ on each one he'd like to play them all now. |
| 8:30
| The Flight of the Bumblebee music was perfect but a Steve Dahl can't use that during the mosquito segment. |
| 8:31
| Alright here's Mosquito vs. Water Buffalo. Steve gets the feeling this guy is going to swear at any moment. We're on delay right? |
| 8:32
| Then Sister Hazel has a song and Steve likes them but it has lyrics. This song seems like it was be a nightmare. |
| 8:33
| Steve is just sitting in his basement listening to all of these songs last night, by himself. |
| 8:34
| Steve likes all of these songs, he can't really pick just one. There's one that reminds Pat of being in his car with his kids on a long road trip. |
| 8:35
| There's another one called Mosquito that has a nice flamenco feel. It's a nice song but it might be too picturesque. |
| 8:36
| This one is mosquito dance music. Did Moe Squito go to a rave and start rollin'? That one might be a little too techno. |
| 8:37
| The one Steve ended up thinking would work is similar to Flight of the Bumblebee. That song was so perfect but Steve can't keep doing a bee character. |
| 8:38
| This song has a mosquitoey feel to it doesn't it? Now Steve just has to work on the content of the character. So far all he has is the mosquitoes old lady out sucking blood. |
| 8:39
| Both male and female mosquitoes are nectar feeders which sounds gay. The male insect has really lost his hold on things. Buzz is going to make fun of Moe. |
| 8:40
| The female of the mosquito species is capable of drinking blood but it's not required to sustain life. |
| 8:41
| There's too much information on this Wikipedia page. That's the problem with that website, anyone can just get on there and add content. |
| 8:42
| Steve doesn't need to know all of this but some insect geek got on here and added too much information. |
| 8:43
| Steve blames Mark Czerniec for this whole thing. He's the one who had to tell Steve that the males were the losers of the insect world. |
| 8:44
| So Steve's going to keep working on the content for Moe Squito. The thing about the old lady being out sucking blood is going to get old. |
| 8:52
| Alright there's a guy on hold who might have solved Steve's problem. Steve's not above stealing from a listener. He'll give the listener credit for 2 days and then after that he pretends he never existed. |
| 8:53
| Caller Rob's idea is to make Moe Squito a pimp. That way he can all kinds of ladies out sucking blood. Rob's a genius! Just for that Steve is going to give him credit for 5 days starting tomorrow. |
| 8:54
| Steve is being told not to give Rob a spin of the wheel. Because Steve is taking Rob's idea lock, stock and barrel he's going to give him a spin anyway. There's a chance Steve might not give him any credit at all. |
| 8:55
| If Steve gives him a spin then they're even right? This conversation never happened. He's going to get $100 for an idea he'd never be able to use anyway. |
| 8:56
| That idea works perfectly plus you could probably still use the zipper sound. Pat suggest calling them the Hosquitoes. |
| 8:57
| OK from now on all of the ideas need to come to Steve via email. It's like the Wizard of Oz. He can't have people thinking he has no ideas of his own. |
| 8:58
| Steve has to admit that he gave the ESPY's short shrift yesterday. He forgot it was on on Sunday but it was really good. Justin Timberlake is really funny, he should be hosting the Oscar's. |
| 8:59
| Steve got the feeling that Justin wrote a lot of that stuff. Can we hear all of those press conference bits again? |
| 9:00
| They had Ozzie in there from last year swearing and being bleeped out. Steve thought that was from this year, when Ozzie was talking about the Cubs. |
| 9:01
| Pat thought Victoria Beckham looked totally out of it, she was on a different planet. Buzz has heard she's been photographed without her make-up and she's got some skin issues. |
| 9:02
| The Bears report to camp today and Brian Urlacher will be there with a little extra cash in his pockets. Didn't Steve predict that months ago? |
| 9:03
| The Bears aren't offering Urlacher much more than he was already going to get. It's an extra million plus the signing bonus. Maybe he can use that money to buy a box of condoms or get a vasectomy. |
| 9:04
| When you get a college scholarship it should come with a free vasectomy. It's reversible anyway. |
| 9:05
| Steve had lunch with Mr. Joniak and Mr. Thayer yesterday. Steve had a very disappointing club sandwich with cheese on it. Pat travels quite a bit, stays in a lot of hotels, does a club sandwich have cheese on it?! No! |
| 9:06
| Steve was asking Jeff and Tom about the QB situation and they both think it's going to be #18. It's not locked in they're just saying if Rex and Kyle are given an equal opportunity Kyle will win out. |
| 9:07
| Kyle apparently got married and Steve was not invited to the nuptials. Ostensibly he's off the party circuit but that's good for everyone. |
| 9:08
| Steve also learned that Matt Forte will probably be good for the first 6-10 games but then like most rookies he'll hit a wall. That's when Kevin Jones steps in. |
| 9:09
| Tom Thayer is going to be on a show with Nathan Vasher and Pat Boyle. Does that replace the show where Moose used to stare at the camera and not talk to Pat? |
| 9:10
| Steve saw Nathan Vasher at a Sox game, he's huge. He can stop lifting weights, he's not playing football any more! |
| 9:11
| Wait, Steve saw Jerry Azumah at the Sox game. Pete just told Steve in his ears. Apparently Pete's as gay as Steve is. Pete can say that on the air, why should Steve be the only man admiring a man in a t-shirt at a Sox game? |
| 9:12
| Steve's wondering how much closer we are to obtaining that tape of Chet Coppock being Heimliched live on the air. He knows people at WMVP, he can get it right? |
| 9:13
| He should try to get the tape outright but if not Steve can make some sort of trade for it. He's Pat Boyle though, he can make it happen. |
| 9:21
| We've got some breaking news, a walkway collapsed at a Hammond Casino. It doesn't seem like a big deal unless you were on the walkway. No one was seriously injured. |
| 9:22
| The other big news is that Christian Bale was arrested in London for the assault on his mother and sister. We still haven't found out what happened though. |
| 9:23
| The guy who directed Batman also directed The Prestige and Memento. He's a genius! |
| 9:24
| Ok on to the sports. The Cubs and Sox both lost yesterday and both teams are struggling at the plate. Both teams wasted great outings from their starters. |
| 9:25
| Lou is canceling batting practice for the next few games to try to get his team out of it's offensive slump. That's not a bad idea. |
| 9:26
| That Josh Hamilton story was great last week but Steve's sick of it this week. He was down near the field trying to sell Hamilton smack yesterday. |
| 9:27
| Wasn't there a questionable call before Josh Hamilton's home run that led to that happening? There was a pitch on the outside corner that could have been strike 3. It just put one more runner on base. |
| 9:28
| The Sox are still a half game up on the Twins on first place and the Cubs are two games up on Milwaukee and St. Louis. Those two teams play each other this week. |
| 9:29
| The name being thrown around if the Sox do make a trade is Josh Fields. That's the only player they're willing to give up. It sounds like Ozzie is talking about trading someone on the current team. Steve has to say that at the top of this list is good old number 14 |
| 9:30
| It seems like you can trace the Sox losing ways back to Konerko's return. Steve feels bad saying it though. Is he wrong to say it? |
| 9:31
| Jerome Holtzman, inventor of the save statistic, passed away. He was 81 which isn't too old. He seemed like a nice enough guy. |
| 9:32
| The save stat had never existed and he came up with it and the criteria for it. To get a save the tying run has to be in the on-deck circle. |
| 9:33
| Not only did he come up with that stat but that eventually became a niche for baseball players like Lee Smith. Lee was quoted as saying without Holtzman his wife wouldn't be out shopping now. Bruce Wolf-who's one of the most underrated sportscasters in the city-said the save should be renamed the Holtzman. |
| 9:34
| Now we've come to the time in the show where we say goodbye to an intern who's leaving. It's Caitlin who Buzz only met once! Does he really know any of the interns? |
| 9:35
| Caitlin was upstairs for most of the time although she did answer phones one day when Brendan was covering the R. Kelly trial. Buzz does remember that. |
| 9:36
| Caitlin was here when Jordan picked the trail mix bar out of the garbage. Did he have a little temper tantrum? Caitlin would have gone to get the trail mix bar herself but she didn't have a building pass. |
| 9:37
| Steve doesn't remember all the details of the story, what happened? Caitlin couldn't get the trail mix bar because at the time she didn't have a building pass. This is a great story, Caitlin should include it in her "What I Did For Summer Vacation" paper. |
| 9:38
| Steve calls up to the office to get to the bottom of this. Caitlin was up here answering phones and Buzz asked her to get him a trail mix bar. Caitlin couldn't go so she asked Jordan to do it. |
| 9:39
| Jordan didn't quite know what kind of trail mix bar Buzz wanted so she went into the studio to ask him. Then the show came back from commercial and Jordan ran out. |
| 9:40
| Steve remembers now, that was when Buzz was making all those hand gestures. Buzz had thrown the old trail mix wrapper in the garbage so Jordan fished it out of the garbage. |
| 9:41
| Steve remembers taking issue with Jordan having to go get the trail mix bar since she'd been here for a few weeks. It was Caitlin's first day, she should have gone out to get one. There was also the day when she was pretty much doing her own show in the hallway when she was screening call. |
| 9:49
| Buzz saw Space Chimps over the weekend instead of The Dark Knight. Bob Sirott said in his One More Thing yesterday that he would have rather done that. He was longing for the days of the Adam West/Burt Ward Batman. |
| 9:50
| News with Buzz |
| 9:51
| The real Batman, Christian Bale, was arrested in London and is accused of lashing out at his sister and mother on Sunday. We don't exactly know what that means. His mom was a circus clown. |
| 9:52
| Bale has described his childhood with his mother in the circus. His first kiss was with an acrobat named Barta. Bale's father retired from his job as a pilot to support Bale's acting career. |
| 9:53
| Bale's father later remarried feminist activist Gloria Steinem He died recently of lymphatic cancer. We're learning a ton about the Bale's. Also Christian hasn't made bail. |
| 9:54
| Maybe the mom and the sister are just crazy. Maybe they're mad at Christian for siding with dad. Bale's career seems to be going well and dad nailed Gloria Steinem who's still hot. |
| 9:55
| Speaking of that, Buzz points Steve to photos of Helen Mirren in a bikini. She doesn't look like a woman in her 60s. Maybe Brendan can find those photos? |
| 9:56
| Steve found them all on his own actually. Brendan might not search for photos of older women. He's not into the cougars right now. Even Brendan would do Helen Mirren though. Steve's seen him have sex with a ham. |
| 9:57
| Talk show host Michael Savage is in hot water for recent comments on his radio show about autism. Savage was on Larry King Live last night saying that his quote was taken out of context and he was merely saying that too many people are misdiagnosed. |
| 9:58
| Starting this fall travelers at O'Hare will pass through full body screeners. That's not going to work unless they have onsite fluffers! Steve's a grower! Buzz gets a feeling some people will refuse to go through it. Put Steve in that group. |
