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| 5:32
| This is the theme where Steve pictures he and Buzz riding in on horses dressed like dopey cowboys. Not cool cowboys, not gay cowboys like in Brokeback Mountain but dopey cowboys. |
| 5:33
| If they were the cowboys in Brokeback Mountain they'd be on the same horse arguing about who gets to sit in front. Then in this part of the song they'd get off the horse and get into the bunk. That's the comedy relief. |
| 5:34
| Of course before that we heard John Cougar Mellencamp's R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A from Scarecrow. Mellencamp's thing is to pretend like he's a regular guy from a small town in Indiana when really he lives in L.A. and he's been married a ton of times. |
| 5:35
| Mellencamp was in Chicago to help kick-off CBS 2's new studio at Block 37. Steve doesn't get the connection between Mellencamp and CBS, it's not like CBS is known as the "rocking" station in town. |
| 5:36
| Steve hates Joe Ahern, or Joe A-hole, who runs CBS. He's the only person Steve has actively hated over all of these years. When Steve and Garry did Greetings from Graceland for ABC Joe was the head of sales. |
| 5:37
| Steve was sitting there in a meeting with Joe and the station manager where Joe told everyone that he wouldn't sell ads for Greetings from Graceland because it wasn't up to the high standards of the station. |
| 5:38
| Greetings from Graceland was the only ABC show that won an Emmy that year, no news, no other specials, nothing. So when Steve is up on stage accepting the Emmy Joe Ahern is acting like they're best friends, trying to get a photo with him. In one of the photos Steve was pretending to break the Emmy over Joe's head and it actually broke. |
| 5:39
| The Emmy remains broke to this day in Steve's office. He still hates Joe and he always will hate him. Maybe he wouldn't hate him if he made an effort to apologize but Joe won't do that because he's totally oblivious. |
| 5:40
| So CBS 2 paid a ton of money to have John Mellencamp play on Monday morning for the opening of their new studio. The studio wasn't ready so the concert became part of The Early Show on CBS. |
| 5:41
| Brendan went over to cover the concert on Monday morning and he had no information at all when he arrived. In his first two reports he still didn't know what was going on. He also took some photos at the concert and they're on Dahl.com. |
| 5:42
| Those photos might be the worst examples of photojournalism Steve has ever seen. In one photo Brendan's thumb is covering the viewfinder. There's one photo Brendan's thumb blocking the viewfinder. There are also some great photos of the back of some guy's head and John Mellencamp's package. Buzz might know that head, it looks remarkably similar to the head of Tony Dwyer. |
| 5:43
| Tony's a friend of Buzz's, a longtime Chicago acquaintance. Buzz is pretty sure he works for WTTW in some sales capacity. Maybe he was there on Monday basking in Joe Ahern's failure. WTTW isn't a real station, they just beg rich people for money. They're like a trophy wife, a gold digger that hooks up with rich old men or rich old widows. |
| 5:44
| WTTW is a god-awful hole, they're really full of themselves. The word Steve came up to describe people at WTTW is egalitarian. Steve doesn't know how to spell "egalitarian" so he can't look it up but he's pretty sure it means that WTTW knows they're better than you but they don't say it. They just air shows like Art Beat. What the hell is that?! |
| 5:45
| Steve just got something from Penny, who's on the 9th floor right below Steve. She's upskirting him now. Maybe Steve should say what floor he's on any more since Drew Peterson just came up here yesterday with Joel Brodsky. |
| 5:46
| How did those two get up here? You need a building pass to get to the elevator and then to get to the 10th floor but some how they got up here. It might have been one of the sales guys from The Douche who let him up here. Fresh sounds like a douche and the music sounds like music to douche to. |
| 5:47
| There are actually several songs on Fresh FM that Buzz enjoys. Well there you go, Buzz is a 60-year-old woman. It's hard not to hear that station around here because their speakers are always blaring and we have to turn it down. |
| 5:48
| Anyway, Penny was telling Steve via IM that Brendan's pictures are terrible and that she once interviewed with Buzz's friend Tom Dwyer. Buzz isn't sure where he works not but Penny said it was at The Mother Bezer. |
| 5:49
| Buzz never knows anything about his friends, like Tom Dwyer. He doesn't know what they do, where they work, nothing. |
| 5:52
| This portion of the show is brought to you by 5th/3rd Bank where Steve has some money. He's worth well over $500 million and after he saw that bank collapse in Pasadena he decided to spread his wealth over several banks for insurance purposes. |
| 5:53
| Imagine if you have $250,000 in a bank and it fails, you're only good for $100,000. Steve hasn't asked his dad if he had any money in that Pasadena bank. |
| 5:54
| Steve was out in L.A. a few weeks ago because the Sox were playing the Dodgers. Pat Dahl was moving back here so Steve wanted to take him and his dad to the game. His brother didn't want to go because he doesn't like baseball. |
| 6:00
| The word Steve was using to describe people at WTTW, egalitarian, means "affirming, promoting, or characterized by belief in equal political, economic, social, and civil rights for all people." That's the attitude they have on the surface at WTTW which is why you can buy your food by the pound in their cafeteria. |
| 6:01
| Alright Patrick Bertoletti is on the phone. When Steve got off the elevator on the 10th floor today he went the wrong way, he doesn't even know why. Patrick is making a lot of noise on the phone, what's he doing over there? Is he practicing eating hot dogs? |
| 6:02
| It was like Steve was Pacman and he went down the wrong corridor and got stuck. Did he walk in place for a while before righting himself? |
| 6:03
| What's Patrick's IFOCE ranking right now? He's still number 2, even after that brutal defeat at the Nathan's Hot Dog competition. Steve feels Patrick's mistake was eating 63 hot dogs a couple of days before the competition as training. |
| 6:04
| When Patrick is training for an eating competition he drinks a lot of water right before to expand his stomach. For some reason that doesn't work with hot dogs though. This is coming from the guy who can't win Nathan's though, maybe he needs to rethink his training. |
| 6:05
| Patrick finds it harder to eat hot dogs because they're kind of gross so you just have to get used to them. It sounds like he has a psychological issue, does he need to see a sports psychiatrist? |
| 6:06
| What does Joey Chestnut do to train for Nathan's? It seems like Patrick's problem is that he does too much celebrating before the competition even begins. Then trying to eat 63 hot dogs is sort of anti-climactic. |
| 6:07
| Patrick's next competition is tomorrow at the Taste of Lincoln. It's the Jimmy John's sandwich competition. He'll be competing against sandwich makers to see who can go faster. |
| 6:08
| It will be Patrick, Gravy Brown and Patrick Van Damme. Van Damme doesn't have a nickname you can say on the air which seems like a mistake. He's getting some bad advice. |
| 6:09
| Patrick feels like the eaters are being set up to fail in this competition. They have to eat sandwiches faster than they can be made. Last week they held the competition in Milwaukee and the eaters were crushed. |
| 6:10
| It's a 10 minute competition with a team of 3 eaters and a team of 3 sandwich makers. If there are still sandwiches left after 10 minutes the sandwich makers win, if there are none left the eaters win. Although it's a team win, there's no individual glory. |
| 6:11
| Mary got an email from Jimmy John's last week after Patrick mentioned the competition. This says that Patrick would love to come on the show and talk about the competition, his eating history and also bring with him some sandwiches for the staff. |
| 6:12
| We have Patrick on the show every Friday though. He also ate all of the sandwiches before he could bring them up. Steve loves PR people who don't have a clue. This is like retroactive PR work. |
| 6:13
| The Taste of Lincoln is Saturday on Lincoln Avenue between Fullerton and Wrightwood. It seems like we know everything else about it though. Jimmy John's is a good sandwich so it'll be fun. |
| 6:14
| The funny thing to Steve about Jimmy John's, as an old man, is that whenever his boys are home they'll order one for delivery and 10 minutes later it shows up. How do they make money delivering one sandwich?! Sometimes Steve orders a sandwich even if he doesn't want one just because he feels guilty that they're only bringing over one sandwich. |
| 6:15
| Apparently that's how they do it these days though and that's what the boys did in college. Steve still can't just order one sandwich for himself though, if he did he'd tip the guy more than the cost of the sandwich. |
| 6:16
| So Patrick was in Italy last week, in Tuscany. Was he taking a break from his grueling schedule? Working 3 days a week was really grinding on him. |
| 6:17
| Patrick is going to be on Fox with Mike Barres next week, does Steve want him to flash any gang signs? No one watches that show so no one will see what he does. He should tell Mike that Steve thinks he's not just a tool, he's the entire shed. |
| 6:24
| Live read: Gladstone Homes |
| 6:25
| Alright it's time for the web poll. Maybe someone should print out yesterday's web poll question because Steve having to look it up everyday makes him look stupid. Everyday feels like two days with this new schedule. Steve's not complaining but that's why he forgets. Then today he got off the elevator and went the wrong way. This could be the beginning of the end for Steve. |
| 6:26
| At least Steve got to the building though. And he has people to handle the rest of it for him. Yesterday's question was "What kind of nap do you take?" 39% said none, 32% said emergency, 16% said habitual and 11% said planed. |
| 6:27
| Steve can't remember the difference between habitual and planed. Does habitual mean you nap at the same time everyday? Sometimes Steve is watching TV and then a half hour later he wakes up from a nap. |
| 6:28
| Yesterday Drew Peterson was here, that's the actual Drew Peterson in the studio with Joel Brodsky. They were downtown on a media blitz and Drew stopped by to give Steve his bandana. We're going to be replaying the whole thing coming up in case you missed it or can't believe it actually happened. |
| 6:29
| Today's web poll question is "Have you ever been to Blarney Island?" Both Steve and Buzz have |
| 6:30
| In year's past Sheriff Mark Curran remembers female boaters at the annual Sand Bar Party taking off their tops and pressing up against police boats. Photos were taken and sent photos into cyberspace. |
| 6:31
| The threat of a similar activity at this week's party went up a notch when word spread that the producers of Girls Gone Wild would be filming in and around Blarney Island. |
| 6:32
| A spokesperson for Blarney Island told the News-Sun that the Girls Gone Wild crew would be at the bar as part of their Wildest Bars in America series. |
| 6:33
| Curran said his department will monitor the situation without cracking down in pre-emptive fashion. Steve's pretty sure he and Buzz met Curran when they were up at Blarney Island last year. He might have deputized them and allowed them to carry firearms and make arrests. |
| 6:34
| Curran also gave Buzz a sweet Lake County Sheriff hat. It was his favorite hat and then he lost it last week. We can probably get him a new one. |
| 6:35
| If there's law-breaking arrests will be made and they want to protect people who live in the area. They're going to be reactive but won't be on Blarney Island itself. This sort of seems like double talk with all due respect. |
| 6:36
| It sounds like what happens on Blarney Island stays on Blarney Island though. Steve needs to get his boat trailered up and head up there this weekend. |
| 6:37
| Steve was mucho disappointed when he was at Blarney Island, nothing exciting happened including on the show. All Steve remembers is a guy next to him selling homemade salsa and a couple of fat lesbians who wouldn't take their tops off. |
| 6:38
| Caller Rob is up in Antioch. He's been to the Sand Bar Party, it's mostly young, hot women making out with each other. Rob's 44 now so he might stand out if he goes. What does that make Steve then, he's in his 50s? Maybe he'll get lucky and find some women with father issues. |
| 6:39
| Rob was last there about 5 years ago. Did he stop going because his wife caught him? It ended up being too much for Rob, it's madness. All these boats are just tied up, people are walking from boat to boat, it was too much for him to take. He got in trouble didn't he? His wife found lipstick on his collar or something right? |
| 6:40
| Caller Jason goes up to The Chain every weekend, he has a house up there. The Sand Bar Party does get a little crazy, there must be a thousand boats on this little lake. |
| 6:41
| If you want a good spot you have to get there around 8 am. It's not a problem if you're tied up and you have to go #1 but it can get tough if you have to go #2. This isn't the part of the Sand Bar Party that Steve wanted covered. |
| 6:42
| If you're going up there be ready for a lot of boat traffic and a lot of cops all over the place. Boating while drunk is the same as driving while drunk, it could be a Cedric Benson situation all over again. |
| 6:43
| There is nudity but a lot of the women who take their tops off put pasties on their nipples. There are also young girls making out as well as cougars. Steve's working on a pasty that looks like a nipple. |
| 6:44
| Caller Marta lives in McHenry. Steve's not that familiar with the Chain 'O Lakes so where is McHenry? It's actually on the Fox which is pretty close to the start of the Chain. |
| 6:45
| Marta has never been to the party but there's a website you can go to that has tons of information about it. There are probably a lot of photos from year's past as well. Steve's on the website now, it looks completely insane. |
| 6:51
| Live read: Discovery Channel |
| 6:52
| It's Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Steve loves Shark Week! |
| 6:53
| If you say "Show me your cans" in radio it means headphones. So if Steve or Buzz said that to a female staffer they could just say they were asking for headphones. |
| 6:54
| OK Steve's on FunontheFox.com. It seems like these Chain parties are just like the Playpen parties only on a different lake. The other day but saw a woman walking around in a bikini. Out of the context of the beach Buzz was reminded how fabulous the bikini is. |
| 6:55
| Really a girl in a bikini is just a girl in her underwear. These days there's not much too underwear, it's just a ball of yarn. What a country! We don't cover up our ladies, not over here. Once again, maybe that's what's wrong with the Middle East. Steve knows that guys over there are covering up they're doing themselves a favor covering up their women but in the long run it just makes the dudes sexually frustrated. |
| 6:56
| Steve's been watching that Generation Kill show and one of the characters has the same theory. All those guys just need to get laid over there. Buzz saw that they're going to rerun the first episode of that show sometime next week. Aimee happened to turn on one episode and within 5 seconds some guy totally got mowed down. All Buzz heard from the other room was "OH MY GOD!" |
| 6:57
| Caller Gary was just telling Brendan some tips for going to the Sandbar Party. Was Gary just on the Brendan Show? Because normally there's a policy that you can't be on this show for 30 days after being on Brendan's show. We'll waive that for today though. |
| 6:58
| Everyone knows that Steve's not really going to this party right, there's no way he'll be allowed to. Janet probably burned his boat down already. Plus they're supposed to go to Michigan this weekend, there's no way Steve's getting out of a family weekend to go to the Sandbar Party. |
| 6:59
| Gary has a boat up on The Chain and there are huge parties every weekend. This weekend is getting more attention though because of Girls Gone Wild. He's out there every weekend though with a gas grill and a half barrel and a designated driver. That's where Steve comes in handy! |
| 7:00
| Caller Mark's brother lives on Petite Lake and there are boats out there every weekend. So Steve can sneak up there some other weekend right? It'll probably be less hectic but Janet will be wondering why the boat is sitting on a trailer in the driveway one weekend. |
| 7:01
| The party starts tonight for Mark's brother, him and his neighbors get their pontoons right up on the sandbar and stay overnight. What can Mark tell Steve about the nudity? |
| 7:02
| Well there's a lot of drinking as other callers have said. When a girl is wearing a bikini all it takes is one flip of a finger and you're topless. Mark has also seen chicken fights where girls try to rip each other's tops off. |
| 7:03
| Steve and Buzz are very good at chicken fights, they're going to have to get into one. Steve would be a brick under his girl, he's got a low center of gravity. Buzz is very wily though, he's got some great footwork. |
| 7:04
| Last year someone got a barge, filled it with sand and set up a volleyball court and a keg. There's usually a band on a two story house boat although this year they just got a DJ. |
| 7:05
| Steve doesn't mean to dispute what Mark's saying but he's seeing that there is a band playing from 1-5 on Saturday. This sounds like the perfect gig for the Dahlfins next year. |
| 7:06
| Alright how about some Sandbar Party rules? There's no glass on the sandbar so pour your beer into a plastic cup. This is the place where they should be handing out the Jack FM plastic cups. |
| 7:07
| Do not block the safety channel. If your boat is blocking a safety channel you'll be asked to move it by the Marine Unit. That's Steve and Buzz in their sheriff's hats. Parking is first come first serve, there is no saving a spot. It seems like it would be hard to save a spot on a lake. |
| 7:08
| Do not split boat lines, if you want to park next to someone special then show up together. Don't move any buoys either, they are in place to keep lanes open for emergencies. Is Buzz writing all this down? |
| 7:09
| There is no nudity allowed at the sandbar. Ladies should wear pasties to avoid any legal issues. Steve still considers that nudity. He might allow Jack FM to give out his newly developed pasties that look like nipples. |
| 7:10
| Have someone of legal age on your boat at all times. Don't leave your b oat unattended with only minors on your boat. Don't park your car in a nearby subdivision, it'll be gone when you get back. |
| 7:11
| Finally know which row you parked your boat in. If you have an emergency they're going to need to know which numbered row in. Those don't seem like too many rows. |
| 7:12
| Caller Mike thinks Steve should market the Jack FM/Steve Dahl pasties as Dahlies. Hey Dahly! |
| 7:13
| Steve's going to take a break and after that he'll be replaying yesterday's Drew Peterson appearance on the show. Somehow Drew and Freckle Face Grape got up to the floor and then were hanging out in Steve's Green Room. |
| 7:14
| Steve didn't know what to do with them though. The last time they were on the show was for that Dating Game thing and Steve got yelled at for a day and a half afterwards. He wasn't really going to fix Drew up with a listener! |
| 7:15
| Steve tried to get Drew and Joel to sit down and get on mic but it was more like they were circling, like hawks or sharks. They really just wanted to give Steve the bandana. |
| 7:20
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 7:21
| There ya go, that's a drop from Generation Kill. The guy goes on to talk about Saddam Hussein's poontang policy and how that's the infrastructure they should have rebuilt. |
| 7:22
| Those guys just need to get laid, forget about waterboarding. You get those guys at Gitmo laid and they'll tell you what cave Bin Laden is in. |
| 7:23
| So yesterday Steve and Buzz were minding their own business, covering the plethora of Drew Peterson coverage. Drew and Joel were on Today and The Early Show and Paula Stark, who wore the wire along with husband Lenny Wawczak, was on Good Morning America. |
| 7:24
| Stark was on GMA with Joe Hosey, who's been covering all of the Drew Peterson stuff for the Sun-Times News Group. He apparently has a book coming out about all this but it seems inappropriate for him to be on TV with this woman. He was also on Fox last night wearing the exact same outfit. |
| 7:25
| So there was a lot of Drew Peterson coverage from yesterday. Stark and Wawczak amped it all up by talking to the Sun-Times and recounting some of the things Drew said to them. Although a lot of that stuff wasn't even on tape. |
| 7:26
| So Drew and Joel showed up and were just hanging around outside the studio waving at them. Then Steve told them to come in the studio and this is what it sounded like. |
| 7:34
| There ya go, Drew Peterson with a Rob Elgas chase. It was very bizarre, was it not Buzz? That's about as close as Steve wants to get to it although he had to shake Drew's hand. |
| 7:35
| Buzz is glad Drew stopped by though, it's a good way to see who Drew is as a person. He exudes a self-assuredness and everyone here was taken by him. Not in a gay way, but you can see how he could pull a 17-year-old. |
| 7:36
| Last night Paula Stark was talking about how Drew wanted her to model Stacy's bikinis and fur coats. At one point he supposedly put some of the fur coats on Paula, which Steve thinks is awesome. As far as Drew is concerned his wife ran off and he needs to get back to business. Steve feels Drew might have lowered his standards for Paula but you do what you have to do when you're hurting. |
| 7:37
| News with Buzz |
| 7:38
| Barack Obama hopes his visits to Europe and the Middle East have convinced voters that he's a "safe pair of hands" Is he going to be a hand model? Obama said that in an interview shortly after his rally in front of 200,000 people in German. While that was going on John McCain was at a German restaurant in Ohio. |
| 7:39
| Buzz thinks that's brilliant counter-programming. Steve thinks it makes him look like a loser. He's in a German restaurant, Barack is in front of 200,00 Germans. Steve's not saying he's for or against anyone but people question Obama's diplomacy so he goes to Germany and pulls in 200,000 Germans. It's not the same as being in some funky German restaurant in Ohio. |
| 7:40
| Steve got a bunch of photos of Obama waving at the crowd. If you take it from a certain angle it looks like he's doing the "Heil Hitler!" Of course it looks like that, that's how you wave at people! What are the odds that Obama would actually do the Heil Hitler? |
| 7:41
| Before Dale Leo Bishop was executed on Wednesday night in Mississippi he told people to vote for Barack Obama. This is the first death row presidential endorsement Buzz can remember. |
| 7:42
| There's a photo of Obama on the Sun-Times today from the rally but Steve's favorite part is the guy holding up the laptop. There's also a lone luftballoon. He pulled in a nice crowd though. Buzz is surprised no goose stepping broke out with all those Germans. |
| 7:43
| Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice believes there's still time to reach a Middle East peace plan by the end of the year. Meanwhile students in Auckland, New Zealand are offering money to any person who makes a citizens arrest on Rice when she visits there. |
| 7:44
| Every President tries for peace in the Middle East at the end of his administration, that's just standard. It'll never happen but it's worth trying anyway because if you get it done you'll go down in history. |
| 7:45
| Richard Simmons wants gets to get physical and he's threatening to seek public office in order to put his plan to stop childhood obesity into action. |
| 7:46
| Three U.S. Air Force officers fell asleep while holding a code device for nuclear weapons. The three men changed the launch codes and then fell asleep. Oops. |
| 7:46
| Frank "The German" Schweis is dead. Maybe McCain can go to his funeral to keep the German thing going. Schweis was thought to be a longtime mob enforcer, he died in a Northside hospital yesterday. |
| 7:47
| The temporary stingray exhibit at the Brookfield Zoo is set to reopen this weekend. On July 14th, Bastille Day, a temperature control in the tank malfunctioned killing all the stingrays. |
| 7:48
| A man from Berwyn is accused of catching squirrels and letting him die. Police have not released his name. Is it Rocky? The man was using traps in his backyard to catch them. |
| 7:49
| Steve doesn't get that at all. Buzz lives in the city so he doesn't have a squirrel problem but in the suburbs they chew your deck and the they eat your plants. The rabbits do the same thing and it's because there are less crows to attack them because of the West Nile thing. The whole ecosystem was messed up. |
| 7:50
| If you want to get rid of the squirrels you have to call an exterminator. Steve's guy was like Carl Spackler and he was good but he wanted to talk about squirrels for 3 hours. |
| 7:51
| Then the exterminator comes out and traps the squirrels and the rabbits. Why are we trying to protect squirrels and rabbits?! You can kill a rat or a mouse and it's no big deal. A squirrel is just a rat with a bushy tail so people think it's cute. |
| 7:52
| When did things change that we started protected rabbits and squirrels? Contrary to popular culture, they can't talk or anything. |
| 7:53
| Rudy Giuliani's son is fighting to get back onto the Duke University golf team. Teammates say that he was well-liked when he first joined but became increasingly disrespectful once his father began running for president. Steve can see that. |
| 8:00
| Live read: Fresh Diet |
| 8:01
| Caller Greg has two Labs that go out in his backyard. There are two black walnut trees with a lot of squirrels in them. The dogs go out there and bark at the squirrels who actually drop walnuts on the dogs. They still can't talk though, they need to be eradicated. |
| 8:02
| Greg goes out there with his paintball gun and waits for squirrels. Greg better be careful, he could get arrested for this. You can't even shoot a squirrel with a paintball gun. |
| 8:03
| Greg better stop talking, Steve doesn't want the police tracing the call and tracking him down through the show. They won't really do that but if they catch him they'll arrest him. |
| 8:04
| Greg thinks he sent a message because they only have one squirrel in his yard this year. |
| 8:05
| Steve saw some paintball guns at the Bass Pro Shop on Sunday. Everything he saw he wanted to get involved in, hunting, archery, jerky making. They have everything there! |
| 8:06
| Alright it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's the Weekend Kick-Off, that's what we do here on Fridays. Today Steve and Buzz are enjoying the original taco. |
| 8:07
| Steve should mention that Buzz does the Pee-Wee Herman dance whenever he's eating a taco during this segment. |
| 8:08
| Song: Bolingbrookville, Steve Dahl |
| 8:12
| Pete freshened that up a bit with some new drop-ins, good job. Pete? He can't say thank you? If he's not going to say thanks Steve will stop giving compliments. He's on the verge of that anyway. |
| 8:13
| And Steve knows Pete is just sitting in there with his headphones on refusing to say anything. This is why he has problems with the ladies. Pete's worked here for 12 years and he can't even treat Steve right. This is why Pete's girlfriend is living with a hot actor. |
| 8:14
| Pete's not going to New York this weekend, he's meeting his girlfriend in Denver for a wedding. They actually have to drive 2 hours to Breckenridge. Steve can see Pete as being a nervous driver so that should be interesting. |
| 8:15
| Pete just learned that they're going to be driving with another friend who's flight was pushed back. That won't be awkward or anything. Steve has known Pete for 12 years and it's still awkward between them. |
| 8:16
| It's a great scenario with Pete renting a sub compact even though he can afford better, driving with a stranger on a treacherous road. Pete doesn't like strangers, it takes him a while to warm up to someone. Steve's still waiting, he's thinking it'll be 15 years before Pete warms up. |
| 8:17
| Steve hates to say it but Pete is not going to have a good time this weekend. Plus he has a wedding to go to with the same theater crowd and the bride and groom on their Mr. Microphones. |
| 8:18
| Pete was told to check his flight because Continental has canceled several flights to Denver for the weekend. Pete doesn't fly Continental but he does fly Delta which is convenient because they have a hub here. |
| 8:19
| Pete's only met the groom once and he's going to his wedding. Buzz is wondering how that happens. He's got to keep an eye on the girlfriend since the roommate will probably be there. Did the girlfriend ask Pete if he wanted to go? |
| 8:20
| She did ask but it's not really a question. She knows Pete doesn't want to go. Steve is in awe of Buzz and the way he lives his life but this is what most couples do. Couples have to do things like this but Buzz can do whatever he wants and he doesn't have to worry about his wife getting mad or cheating on him or whatever. He's the anomaly and Steve is in awe of him. Buzz lives like he's a billionaire. He has all the clout of a billionaire without any of the tax ramifications. |
| 8:21
| Buzz really should write a book about his life, the stuff he's done should be recorded somewhere. |
| 8:22
| Pete will probably have a good time once he gets hammered at the wedding. Maybe that friend they're driving to the wedding with will let Pete grope her in the coat room. |
| 8:23
| For everything that Buzz has accomplished, everything he does, Pete is the exact opposite. Pete is what not to do. Pete will do an airport pick-up whenever he can. But if Aimee and Piper are at the airport at 3 am Buzz just tells them to take a cab. |
| 8:30
| That was Drew yesterday walking down the hall at Fox, Steve forgot he swore. Another interesting thing Steve learned yesterday about Len Wawczak is that he was convicted of a hit-and-run even though he didn't have a license. He's also declared bankruptcy twice. |
| 8:31
| Alright David Hochberg is on the phone for whatever we call this segment. Is there a name for this segment? David thought it was the David Hochberg Players. Steve has never called it that but way to name it after yourself. |
| 8:32
| Today's stage direction calls for Buzz to do a "dirty, sultry" female voice. Buzz does one voice and that's the old woman. David is lucky that Buzz is even doing that voice.
|
| 8:33
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:34
| OK here we go. David went to the trouble of buying Steve a megaphone and scene clapper so he feels compelled to use it. |
| 8:35
| Now it's calling for Steve to change to a pompous Drew Peterson voice. What is he, Jim Carrey?! That doesn't even make sense, Steve's ignoring that. |
| 8:36
| Steve's going back to making the phone noise himself instead of using the sound effect. His phone voice sounds remarkably like Buzz's Betty voice. |
| 8:37
| Steve's going to tell David something right now, if this script isn't down to 2 pages next week he's cancelled. David is an out-of-control train. |
| 8:38
| David should have made this live read about Len Wawczak and Paula Stark. He thought about doing that but had already written this script. You wouldn't want to go back when the script is a masterpiece like this. |
| 8:39
| This is a great final episode, it really is. This play is over for today. |
| 8:40
| David is insane. He's more of a narcissist than Oprah. Soon he'll have H Magazine and a photo of him on the cover with a bunch of money. |
| 8:41
| There's no plot to these scripts it's just David saying the same thing he always says. When the stage direction is "Steve acts like a little bitch" the play is over. |
| 8:42
| Alright Brendan is here for an entertainment report but first he has some bad news. Steve needs to get Jim on the phone for this. |
| 8:43
| Hopefully Jim is sitting down for this because Brendan has some bad news. They were supposed to go to the Cubs game tomorrow but they're not any more. |
| 8:44
| Hans goes to a lot of sporting events and he never pays for tickets. A lot of athletes come into his restaurant and they never pay for steaks so it's an even trade, tickets for steaks. Chef also knows a lot of umpires which is how he gets tickets. |
| 8:45
| He had tickets to Saturdays game but then they changed umpiring crews so he doesn't have them any more. Apparently umps don't have enough clout to leave tickets if they're not working the game. They somehow have enough clout to take a vacation during the baseball season. It's a 6 month season, they can't wait to vacation in the off-season? |
| 8:46
| Jim doesn't seem that bummed out though. At least Jim and Brendan won't have to spend 3 hours with Hans. That guy goes to all of these sporting events but for him it's more about talking to people he knows. Steve knows Jim is very serious about his baseball so it's better that he can watch at home. |
| 8:47
| The last time Brendan and Jim went to a Cubs game with Hans Jim almost got into a fight with some Brewers fans. They were besmirching the name of Geovanny Soto and he took exception to that. You could throw Jim's mom down a flight of stairs and he wouldn't care but don't say anything bad about a Cub. |
| 8:48
| The Cubs were losing that game right? It was one of Kerry Wood's blown saves and the Brewers fans were acting like jerks. It's fine if they show up in their Brewers gear and it's fine if the Brewers win but not when their fans are acting like jerks. Steve understands why he had to take action. |
| 8:53
| Alright it's time for some celebrity news with Brendan. It was J-Lo's birthday yesterday, it's hard to believe she's 39! Brendan just goes right into it, it's like introducing Paul Harvey. |
| 8:53
| Alright it's time for some celebrity news with Brendan. It was J-Lo's birthday yesterday, it's hard to believe she's 39! Brendan just goes right into it, it's like introducing Paul Harvey. |
| 8:54
| 39 isn't that old. Buzz is waiting for that booty of hers to take off. She's been managing it for 39 years but it's on the cusp. It's going to be a major fight for J-Lo to keep it in line. It would have to deteriorate significantly for Steve to not be interested in it. |
| 8:55
| Brooke Hogan, son of Hulk Hogan, is considering an offer to appear nude in Playboy. She's only famous for being on that reality show, Hogan Knows Best but he really doesn't since his son is going to jail. |
| 8:56
| Cameron Diaz is going to a psychic on the advice of Drew Barrymore. That's some good advice to take right there. |
| 8:57
| Diaz has been seeing Mrs. Grace who told the actress that she saw marriage, kids and a beautiful future. Mrs. Grace, is that Mark Grace's ex-wife? |
| 8:58
| She started dating a model after Justin Timberlake dumped her. Can Steve just say how awesome that guy is? He had early Britney Spears which is what you want and he leaves them in shambles after he goes. |
| 8:59
| Cameron Diaz's father just died as well so maybe she's trying to contact him. A lot of psychics can contact the dead which seems unlikely. But if it makes someone feel better than so be it. |
| 9:00
| it seems like if you could really talk to the dead or see the future you wouldn't be operating out of some funky storefront. |
| 9:01
| Now some exciting details about Matthew McConaughey's newborn son. Steve didn't even know he was pregnant. McConaughey's new son Levi was born after 14 hours of labor. |
| 9:02
| While McConaughey's girlfriend was in labor the actor reportedly danced to Native American music. Was that her focal point? At least he wasn't naked playing the bongos. |
| 9:03
| If Steve looked like Matthew McConaughey he would also have his shirt off all the time. Any woman in the world would have sex with him. He could walk into a room and just tell some girl they're going to have sex and then they would. Brendan also thinks the Texas accent gets the women. That's not really what Steve was thinking but apparently it appeals to Brendan. |
| 9:04
| Meanwhile in other pregnancy news, from the Brangelina Camp, reports that the couple conceived their recent fraternal twins using artificial insemination? Turkey baster? |
| 9:05
| That's according to US Weekly who also reported that the couple wanted to have as many children as possible as quickly as possible so they went in vitro. What's wrong with those two? |
| 9:06
| Eventually Brad Pitt is going to get sick of this whole thing. Every time you see Pitt he's walking through an airport with everyone's luggage, holding the kids. |
| 9:07
| At the risk of Brendan coming over to hump his leg, Steve's going to read more about Matthew McConaughey's new baby. He might talk with the accent. |
| 9:08
| This is from OK, they have an exclusive on the birth of Levi Alves McConaughey. If the parents aren't married do you still get all those names? What happened to the stigma of having a bastard? Steve likes to say it but no one else seems to care. |
| 9:09
| McConaughey says he and his girlfriend Camila Alves found a rhythm in the delivery room. The contractions started kicking in and McConaughey sat there right between her legs. |
| 9:10
| Then the actor got tribal and started dancing. He was also DJing Brazilian music. That's probably when the girlfriend opted for a c-section because McConaughey was driving her nuts. |
| 9:11
| Steve's sorry if his accent isn't doing it for Brendan, it does sound more like George Bush than Matthews McConaughey. |
| 9:12
| This guy seems like an idiot but you have to hand it to him. Somehow he managed to get past that whole naked bongo thing with another guy and came out fine. |
| 9:20
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:21
| Steve was trying to call Matt Dahl because he and Brendan used to do the Showbiz Report on their show. They had a show on WCKG before we ran it into the ground. |
| 9:22
| Steve sort of stole that today but Matt and Brendan haven't done a show for 2 1/2 weeks. When it lies fallow like that then Steve can steal it. Brendan does have a history of entertainment reporting though. |
| 9:23
| The other day Buzz had Brendan do a report about Madonna. Because Buzz won't touch it? He'll report on the existence of aliens but he won't do a report about Madonna? |
| 9:24
| Matt does a great Matthew McConaughey impersonation so Steve wanted to get some pointers and also give him a shout-out for stealing his entertainment report. |
| 9:25
| Matt Dahl is on the phone, he's working at Mr. Skin now. He's in the porn industry but it's only softcore. Matt listens to the podcast at work where everyone shares their iTunes libraries. Matt makes a playlist of the podcast everyday and sends it out to the office. |
| 9:26
| Matt said something funny a few weeks ago. When he's at work doing something on the computer that he shouldn't be doing he has to bring up a porn website to make it look like he's working. |
| 9:27
| Steve's been telling Matt that the Mr. Skin job is better than being in radio. Matt's starting to figure that out. Mr. Skin is a good guy, he's honest, he pays well and you get to see every nude scene ever put on film. Plus Matt gets to go out and do reports on the street for the website. |
| 9:28
| The site has been relaunched this week with a new design. It's going to feature more free content and celebrity news but it'll always go back to the nudity. |
| 9:29
| So Steve was doing his Matthew McConaughey and it started to sound more like George Bush. Matt's impersonation is spot-on. |
| 9:30
| Matt is also in a band and he has a gig this Wednesday at Subterranean in Wicker Park. Matt's in a band and he's working for Mr. Skin, it sounds like everything is good. |
| 9:31
| Steve suggested to Brendan that he and Matt do a podcast from the studios in the Mr. Skin offices. They're going to start doing more podcasts after Matt's gig but since it was last minute the band has been practicing a ton. |
| 9:32
| Steve needs to get Matt to teach him that McConaughey impersonation over the weekend. Right now he just sounds like George Bush doing Matthew McConaughey. |
| 9:33
| News with Buzz |
| 9:34
| The big news today is that Devin Hester is in Bourbonnais. He returned last night, negotiations are continuing on a new contract for him and he could rejoin the team this afternoon. He's also out $30,000. |
| 9:35
| Someone must have explained the economics of the hold out to Hester. He's making $450,000 this year, that's like 7% of his salary. |
| 9:36
| The Pope may be heading to Iraq. Did he get drafted into the military? He's actually been invited by Iraq's prime minister. |
| 9:37
| Barack Obama is hoping that his recent trip to Europe and the Middle East will reassure voters about his diplomacy skills. At the very least it's reassured Steve that Obama can draw a crowd in Germany. |
| 9:38
| He didn't speak German did he? Because whenever anyone speaks German they sound like Hitler. He probably uttered a few phrases, like Kennedy did when he was there. The urban legend is that Kennedy mispronounced a German phrase which translated to "I'm a pastry" but that's not true. |
| 9:39
| Steve got several emails from people yesterday who said it looked like Obama was giving the "Heil Hitler" gesture at the speech. He's just waving! |
| 9:40
| According to an urban legend, Kennedy allegedly said "Ich bin ein Berliner," which means he's a common pastry. That's not true though, Kennedy said the phrase correctly. Did Pete see anything on the news that Steve's missing about Obama? |
| 9:41
| A Qantas flight made an emergency landing in Manila today after a large hole appeared in the fuselage. It caused the plane to depressurize, sending the passengers into a panic. |
| 9:42
| The elderly homeless man who was hit by Robert Novak says the columnist may be telling the truth but he also wasn't paying attention while driving. |
| 9:43
| The American record holder in the 100 meter breaststroke will not be joining the U.S. swim team in Beijing. That's after she tested positive for a banned stimulant. |
| 9:44
| Can we talk to Mark Czerniec very quickly? What's happening up at the corporate offices up in Racine? They're keeping the fleet of jets all polished Is Buzzy's plane all fueled up because he's going to Jamaica this weekend. They just splashed a new coat of paint on the plane along with the new logo. And does it say "Lively up yourself" in the tail like Buzz likes? Thank Jah it's a G4! |
| 9:45
| Barack Obama told the German crowd that he's a citizen of the world and he's catching flak for that. Why? Didn't Ronald Reagan say the same thing? |
| 9:46
| Randy Pausch is dead. The Carnegie Computer Science Professor became famous for his speech The Last Lecture. A video of his speech, about everything he's learned in life, became an internet sensation after it was posted on YouTube. |
| 9:47
| How can Steve know nothing about this? And surprisingly Buzz knows all about it. Steve doesn't like being lectured anyway. |
| 9:48
| A teenager has been sentenced to 8 years in prison for teaching his 2 and 4-year old cousins to smoke marijuana. 8 years? That seems a bit steep. |
| 9:49
| Anyone who has seen Searching for Bobby Fisher remembers the scene where he played several people at once in chess matches. A similar scene will play out in Berwyn tonight |
| 9:50
| Buzz is a huge Bobby Fisher fan. He's so weird. If you were a kid into chess Bobby Fisher was like Superman. Buzz actually just watched that movie and he did tear up a bit. |
| 9:57
| Steve was just going through the mail at Steve@dahl.com and he doesn't have time to really talk about this but he's going to put it out there anyway. Steve tries not to get involved in political discussions. He doesn't want to argue with people or explain his opinion or try to sway someone else's opinion. |
| 9:58
| Steve doesn't want to have a political discussion but he is willing to read about politics on his own time. He did get an email from a guy who emails all the time. He might have been one of the guys who suggested that photos of Obama in Germany make it look like he's doing the "Heil Hitler" Why would he do that? He wouldn't make that mistake. |
| 9:59
| He did point out something interesting though which is that there was a free concert right before Obama's rally in Germany and that's why he drew 200,000 people. But then he blames the liberal media for hushing that up. That's where Steve loses interest. |
| 10:00
| It's still an interesting fact if it's true but kudos to Obama's people for keeping a lid on it. Although a free concert doesn't draw 200,000 on it's own. |
| 10:01
| Steve calls down to the weather center. Earlier in the show Brendan broke the news to Jim that they wouldn't be going to the Cubs game tomorrow. Steve has a t-shirt for Jim which he feels is just up his alley. It's way too small and has a picture of a cartoon monkey on it which is totally inappropriate for someone Jim's age. He's in his 40s right? |
| 10:02
| Steve also got an email from that Lawrence guy at the Wrigley Field rooftop. He wanted to invite Jim and Brendan to tomorrow's game. This was the guy who Buzz tried to get tickets from for Donny & Marie. He did end up with tickets but they weren't good. Turns out Aimee could have gotten better tickets online for much less. |
