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| 5:33
| How about Paul Steve to start the show Buzz? Live from the beautiful downtown studios of WCKG...wait no WJMK. Paul always forgets that Steve and Buzz are on Jack, they're Jackin' it. |
| 5:34
| WJMK that's 104.3 FM. Buzz probably knows-since his life is broadcasting-that all of the FM frequencies are odd numbers. Por ejemplo-for our Spanish speaking listeners out there-you've got 104.1, 104.3, 104.5, 104.7 and 104.9 |
| 5:35
| Because of the way that the FCC has divided up frequencies in Chicago Buzz will find that there are no other stations in the 104 dial position so that no other station bleeds into our frequency. |
| 5:36
| The 104 dial position sucks though, it's all the way at the loser end where no one even goes. Buzz shouldn't let this effect his morning broadcast though. |
| 5:37
| Steve and Buzz are of course broadcasting from the new Prudential Building, which looks like the building in Metropolis. You'd think with all the money they spent to build it they would have tried to make it look like the old Prudential Building. |
| 5:38
| The old Prudential Building still looks good. At one point it was the tallest building in the city and had an observation deck, which is now fallow. The Plaza Club used to be up there but they left because they couldn't afford the rent increase. |
| 5:39
| The observation deck remains empty because whoever takes on the new lease will have to spend a lot of money to install an elevator because of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Everyone who belonged to the Plaza Club, including Steve, were able to join the Mid-America Club. |
| 5:40
| Paul is going to turn things back over to Steve and Buzz because Buzz doesn't seem interested in talk about this. It is a nonexistent club. Back when Steve and Buzz were doing afternoons the club was handy. Steve needed a way to conduct business meetings and at the club you can't pay for lunch, a member has to sign for it. So Steve could always pay and then say he had to leave to do a show. |
| 5:41
| Paul doesn't want Buzz to worry but there are a lot of meetings that go on about this show. Steve handles them all so that Buzz is free to leave after the show and go for a run. He's Mr. Lakeview. |
| 5:42
| Steve cannot stop talking like Paul Steve. It is a broadcast-quality voice. Steve still wants to steal the Cliff voice from Garry but then he has to keep explaining it. Paul just though maybe Steve and Buzz could use an announcer this morning. |
| 5:43
| Paul is getting ready to head home right now, he just came downtown to come on the show and then he's heading back home. Paul noticed on his way in that the old Prudential Building still has the Rock of Gibraltar logo on it. That's where John and Yoko got married, in Gibraltar near Spain. |
| 5:44
| The Prudential lettering on the top of the building has been completely converted from red to blue lights. That'll be great for all the kids at Lollapalooza, it'll look like glow sticks when they're on X. You'll probably see a few X-related deaths this weekend which the people in the suburbs probably enjoy. |
| 5:45
| Should Paul go or does Buzz like having an announcer? This is a good chance for Steve to kill 15 minutes and Buzz gets to work on that 6 am newscast. This is a way for Steve to say whatever comes to mind, it helps to get all the crap out of his head. |
| 5:46
| Drive carefully Paul! He doesn't drive carefully because he's got a race car. Steve's pretty sure it's a Bathtub Porsche. Paul calls it Sunnyside Up. Buzz loves the Bathtub Porsche and why not, it's a bathtub and a Porsche. |
| 5:47
| Alright well what else is there to say? How about the web poll after this series of announcements? |
| 5:52
| That rejoin we just had coming back from the break faded out just right. Steve and Pete had a little discussion about the rejoin music. Steve thinks we should be playing Jack music. For years it's been the music that Pete's been championing. |
| 5:53
| Steve saw some of Pete's people when he was leaving Subterranean last night. Matt Dahl's band Pet Lions had a show there. It seemed like the kind of music that Pete would like. |
| 5:54
| Steve finally realized why Pete goes to these concerts, it's because there are chicks in there. And these chicks get drunks and start dancing and you can probably wander right into them. Next thing you know you're making out against a railing. Welcome to the music industry! Of course Steve's always had that luxury in his dressing room. |
| 5:55
| But Steve thought the rejoin music should be Jack music. There have also been some discussions about the length of the rejoins. And of course Pete and Mark are IMing each other, saying Steve has sold out or that Todd is making him do it. Really though it was Steve's idea. |
| 5:56
| Todd was in Steve's office yesterday talking about his social life after the show. Just so everyone knows he did not go out last night because the Cubs game was on. He is thinking of heading over to Ben Pao next week because they'll have 88¢ Tsing Tao beers for the Olympics. |
| 5:57
| Todd shouldn't be caring about the price of beer, he's a vice president! He programs 10 stations in the country! Steve hits the Tsing Tao gong that's in the studio. For Buzz the hitting of the gong means something different. It's sort of signal of a sexual climax. He used to have one in his bedroom that the ladies would hit. Steve had a gong in his room but the ladies hit it when they wanted him to stop. |
| 5:58
| Todd's also going to Montana pretty soon with some other record company guys. They're gonna have some steaks and stand around on the deck in their underpants. Todd has a really nice place in Montana and Steve has been invited but he hasn't been able to go. |
| 5:59
| Todd thought the new rejoins sounded good but he wanted them to be longer. Steve told Todd to tell Pete that since he happened to be in the office. Pete did not take it well. |
| 6:00
| Todd left and then 5 minutes later Mary was telling Steve that Pete did not take it well and he'd have to go talk to him. Steve was just about to get up from his desk but then realized that Pete should be coming in there. |
| 6:01
| Then Pete comes in and refuses to sit down because he can smell the stink of the man in the office. Pete really needs to stop talking about that. Then Pete had some cockamamie excuse about how Steve didn't want longer rejoins with the old music. |
| 6:02
| So Mark and Pete should know that the rejoin music was Steve's idea. Pete only chose his music because it impressed all of his other music people. Steve saw those people last night, he doesn't want them listening. |
| 6:03
| So Steve's at this Subterranean place and it's not even underground. The first level has a bar and Matt and some of his friends were there. So Steve bought the friends some trendy brew and got something for Janet and had a club soda for himself. In that kind of situation a club soda says you used to be a alcoholic. |
| 6:04
| Steve thought the band would be playing downstairs but all they had there was the bar and a funky bathroom. Steve imagines Pete has had sex in that bathroom. It's impossible to even come out of the bathroom without being groped. Steve came out and was groped by a black guy. |
| 6:05
| Steve was trying to go upstairs but the 60-year-old guy with the ponytail working the door told him he couldn't bring glass upstairs. So Steve had to poor his drink into a plastic cup and then get Janet's attention and poor her drink into a plastic cup. She was off apologizing to someone because they shouldn't even be there, they were just there to see their son. |
| 6:06
| Then the ponytail guy tells Steve to put the glasses on the table. He figure that out himself, he wasn't just going to drop them on the tile floor. Thanks 60-year-old guy who doesn't even own the bar he's working at. Old man, take a look at your life. |
| 6:07
| Then Steve was told there was a $7 cover which he couldn't believe. There was a list but Matt probably didn't have the presence of mind to put Steve and Janet on it. Steve gave the guy $20 for him and Janet and he said "And your change is $6" Wow, he can do math, no wonder he's in charge. Has Buzz noticed that the new $5 bills look fake? It looks like Monopoly money. |
| 6:08
| So now it's time to put the wristband on. Steve wears his watch on his right hand so he put his left hand out for the wristband. The guy told him that the wristband goes on the right hand. This is why Steve isn't allowed to carry a concealed weapon. Eventually he acquiesced because he was with other people. |
| 6:09
| Buzz would have dug in at that point. A Steve Dahl on his own might have but he was with Janet so there's nothing to gain from it. Then every time Steve checked his watch he had to move some funky Subterranean wristband out of the way. And it was tamper prove so you couldn't put it on someone else's wrist and cheat the bar out of the $7 cover. Why even have a cover if it's $7? At least make it $10 so the change is easier to make. |
| 6:10
| Buzz imagines that's money going right into Matt's wallet. Steve's not sure about the financial arrangement, Matt's just happy to be in a band that he likes. |
| 6:11
| Steve was hoping that Pat and his wife Rachel would sit by them but instead Janet invited some other parents over. They couldn't have looked like bigger dorks because now they're at the parent's table. Even though Steve's 53 he still felt he could have fit in there. |
| 6:12
| Then Janet has two t-shirts for Matt from his old band that she's bringing him and a binder with a birthday card for her dad that he had to sign. C'mon, try to fit in! Get some glowsticks and pop some vitamins and pretend it's X! Ron Lewis also came, he sort of looks like he could be an A & R guy for a major record label. |
| 6:13
| Steve did not stick around for the rest of the bands. He decided it was time to leave when he saw Janet trying to take a picture of Matt's girlfriend that he's trying to keep secret. Once you tell someone in the family about that they go about disassembling it for you by overanalyzing everything. Janet was trying to take a picture of her over Mike's shoulder. |
| 6:14
| Steve came out of Subterranean and saw the Double Door. He realized this must be Pete's 6 corners! He probably eats at the falafel place or the pizza place called Crust too! |
| 6:15
| That area is now more Jim and Brendan's area since Pete moved up to the RP. That's right, he moved up there for the crime. Steve's point was that Pete had a good fade-out on that rejoin. |
| 6:16
| Once again so Pete and Mark know, the rejoins were Steve's idea. Pete is very difficult to deal with. Steve knows what those old rejoins were for, Pete was pushing that music on him because the file contained the song name, the band, the album and Pete's assessment of the song. |
| 6:17
| Pete got over it after an hour though, that's usually how long things last with him. An hour?! Try a day! Pete had previously edited all of these rejoins on Tuesday and then he was asked yesterday to make them longer. |
| 6:18
| Mark is probably IMing Pete right now calling Steve a sell out. Mark is IMing Steve right now wondering if it would be so bad to have some Lucinda Williams as a rejoin after the next break. |
| 6:19
| Buzz has no idea what Steve has to do when he leaves here to go work on his abs. Steve should be comforted by the fabulous abs Buzz is developing though. Steve's reward for all this? A nice club soda in a plastic cup. |
| 6:19
| Steve was going to do the web poll but he should probably take a break and then some nuevos rancheros. The Cubs and Sox both won last night so everyone is still in first place. Steve tried to watch some Sox coverage on Sportsnite last night but there wasn't much. Comcast is owned by the Sox too! |
| 6:20
| We're supposed to have Pat Boyle on today but Steve is refusing to talk to him. He and Mark Schanowski are sitting there with knee pads on, Tribune all over their mouth. |
| 6:27
| Live read: Stone Systems |
| 6:28
| One other funny thing about these rejoins, when Todd came to tell Pete about lengthening them he was on the way out of his office. Pete is of course in the back room whistling and pretending he doesn't hear anyone. |
| 6:29
| What really set Pete off was when Todd said that he had to fade out that old music before the vocals because no one knew the songs. Those were songs that Pete handpicked. |
| 6:30
| Today all of the rejoins have been loaded in but in the past Pete used to wait for each break and drop to get a feel of which one of his songs he should choose. |
| 6:31
| Coming out of the Fast Times at Ridgemont High ticket scalping drop Pete might go with Peter, Bjorn and John since he had to scalp tickets for them at the Double Door recently. |
| 6:32
| Pete decided to preload the rejoin music today, there's nothing else to read into it. If Pete really wanted to make a statement he should have loaded up Stairway to Heaven and not faded it out until the vocals. |
| 6:33
| News with Buzz |
| 6:34
| John McCain has gone negative, releasing a campaign ad that compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. The ad, which will air in 10 battleground states intercuts images of Paris and Britney with images of Barack. So when do we see the photo of Obama getting out of a Mercedes with no underwear on? |
| 6:35
| Steve heard that Obama's people are working on a campaign ad that shows McCain endorsing Bush 4 years ago, along with Britney Spears who also endorsed him. |
| 6:36
| The Obama campaign has also been forced to denounce a new song by rapper Ludacris. The song is a tribute to Obama but features crude lyrics. Probably not what Obama needs right now, he's trying not to scare white people. |
| 6:37
| The New York Daily News says that Hillary Clinton will speak on the second day of the Democratic National Convention, leading some to believe she will not be Obama's VP nominee. VP's usually speak on the Monday and Wednesday. |
| 6:38
| Former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic will face the United Nations war crimes tribunal today. He's charged with two counts of genocide. If you can gloss over the genocide two counts don't sound bad. It's like he started up the genocide but then stopped after two people. |
| 6:39
| Steve is having the Ludacris lyrics brought in right now. Steve thought he was going to read them as Bill Kurtis but since Mary is managing Brendan she wanted him to do it. |
| 6:40
| How much does Brendan give Mary 5%? 10%? If Steve gave her 15% maybe he could get some of his bits back. He'll have Brendan read the set-up as part of Celebrity News and then Bill will read the lyrics. |
| 6:41
| Maybe Brendan should do it, knock yourself out. He's reading at a quicker pace than Steve thought he would. Sometimes it's like, whoa! Do we need a hip-hop beat behind him? |
| 6:42
| Steve doesn't even know how to make a hip-hop beat. Brendan doesn't need one right? Steve's not trying to put any pressure on him. One of the things Steve likes about Brendan is that pressure doesn't get to him. |
| 6:43
| Brendan says Ludacris is gaining more widespread acceptance. Says who? He's become a well-respected actor after roles in Crash and Hustle & Flow. Steve knows him now, he liked him in those movies. |
| 6:44
| Brendan shouldn't read the profane lyrics, he knows that right? Steve could see Mary telling him to read all the lyrics because this show needs some profanity. Eric & Kathy are kicking our asses! |
| 6:45
| Steve saw Kathy in the parking garage today waiting in her car. She might be stalking Steve. At first he thought it was Lisa Dent and didn't think the elevator could hold both of them. |
| 6:46
| Steve closed the door on Kathy but she came up the stairs and he saw her again. She's definitely stalking Steve. He wouldn't be surprised if she flashes Steve. |
| 6:47
| The song starts off with Ludacris talking about how big he is and how great his car is. How come Steve always gets hassled when he talks about his car? |
| 6:48
| Why does "bitch" become an expletive? People won't even say it on TV. |
| 6:49
| "Paint the White House black", OK now he's gone too far! You can't really say that McCain should be in a wheelchair paralyzed either. |
| 6:50
| You probably can't support someone calling Hillary a bitch either. It seems like Ludacris could have done something that was good for Obama and taken out some of that other stuff. |
| 6:51
| Maybe Ludacris should have slept on the lyrics. Maybe take out the thing about painting the White House black or calling Hillary a bitch. It seems counterproductive to try to help and then only end up hurting the campaign. |
| 6:52
| It seems like the black vote is pretty much wrapped up for Obama. The trick would be to not scare white people. White House isn't a race thing, it just looks better painted white. It wouldn't look right painted black. |
| 6:58
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 6:59
| Steve accidentally hit "Twilight Zone" on his machine, he had a one in four chance of getting the right T sound. It's either Townstone, Twilight Zone, Tyrone or Teletype. He got the wrong one. |
| 7:00
| From the June 25th issue of Rolling Stone, Stevie Wonder shares space on Barack Obama's iPod with Howlin' Wolf, Yo-Yo Ma and Sheryl Crow. He has about 30 Bob Dylan songs as well but he's partial to 1975's Blood on the Tracks. |
| 7:01
| Most of Barack's musical tastes are old school but he's talked policy with Ludacris, references Jay-Z's Dirt Off Your Shoulder in a campaign speech and joined acts like Usher and Will.i.am at rallies. So it doesn't really say that Ludacris is on his iPod. |
| 7:02
| Representative Barney Frank wants to do away with federal criminal penalties for up to 100 grams of marijuana. He filed a measure along with Ron Paul. |
| 7:03
| Steve recently saw signs for Ron Paul in Indiana. Didn't he drop out of the campaign months ago? Maybe someone should tell those people he's not running any more. |
| 7:04
| A new report out of Green Bay says that the Packers, if backed into a corner, might trade QB Brett Favre within the NFC North. Why would they do that? GM Ted Thompson denies that report. |
| 7:05
| A French amputee almost became the first one-armed man to swim across the English channel. Is a French amputee different than other amputees? Do they julienne your stump? Did he keep swimming in a circle to the right? |
| 7:06
| The man swam for 14 1/2 hours before strong currents forced him to stop within sight of the French coastline. He won't attempt the journey again but calls it a success. Buzz begs to differ. |
| 7:07
| In a final sporting note a man fishing off Jones Beach, New York died after being hit in the head with a 3 ounce lead weight. It hit him so hard that it dug itself into his brain. |
| 7:08
| A Will County judge has refused to throw out a gun charge against Drew Peterson. Attorney Joel Brodsky will be appealing the ruling. He says the rule doesn't apply to Drew because he used the gun while he was a police officer. |
| 7:09
| But didn't he still have the gun when he was no longer a police officer? Good luck getting a fair trial. Steve's seeing a change of venue, to Mars. |
| 7:10
| The FBI and ATF raided 4 locations yesterday in Chicago over threats of a bombing. At one location they had to use an urban assault vehicle. |
| 7:11
| Chicago emergency officials are holding a press conference today to outline their plans for Lollapalooza. It will be a crowded and warm weekend with over 100 bands playing in Grant Park. Steve thought that forecast was moved and it was going to get hotter on Sunday and then the hottest day would be on Monday. |
| 7:12
| A Middle Eastern oil tycoon sent his Lamborghini from Qatar to Great Britain for an oil change. It sparked outrage from green activists. |
| 7:20
| According to our researching, Mark Czerniec, the gun was confiscated from Drew while he was still a police officer. That's what Joel Brodsky is maintaining. |
| 7:21
| Steve's not sure if that's the issue though. Maybe Mark Czerniec can call in but not right now because Steve has some breaking news to report. |
| 7:22
| Ken Griffey Jr. has never played in the World Series but he might have a chance. The left fielder has been traded from the Reds to the White Sox, pending the sluggers approval. |
| 7:23
| That's all we know for right now but we've got Pat Boyle working on it. Buzz saw Nick Swisher run into the wall last night, that was something. Nick Swisher is kind of awesome even though he annoys Steve sometimes. |
| 7:24
| Swisher is annoying when he's not playing well but recently he's dialed it down if he's struggling. Steve likes Swisher though, he likes the faux-hawk, he likes that he refers to his arms as Thunder and Lightning and he likes that he refers to himself as Dirty Thirty. |
| 7:25
| It seems like Griffey would approve that deal, it wouldn't have gotten this far if he was going to say no. In a perfect world Swisher would be at first, Griffey would be DH, and Brian Anderson would be in center |
| 7:26
| Calls to Pat Boyle have gone unanswered, he might be still sleepy. We might need to get a sports guy who's on the same schedule as the show. You get a lot of 2 am emails from Pat but now he's sleeping. |
| 7:27
| Don't switch over to a sports station though because they won't know anything more than we do. All you'll get there is Stinky from Elmwood Park saying the trade is a bad idea. |
| 7:28
| Let's just pretend that we can't reach Pat because he's busy getting to the bottom of this. |
| 7:29
| Caller Barry is all for this Griffey trade, let's sign him! If we're going to do sports talk then Barry will need a nickname. How about Barry the Bookie? |
| 7:30
| Is Barry really a bookie because Steve needs one. His last one was Frank "The German" and he's dead now. Barry is all for this, let's get Griffey here this weekend! |
| 7:31
| Barry likes Griffey in center but Steve would rather see him at DH. Put Anderson in center and put Swisher at first, they went on a nice streak with that combination. |
| 7:32
| Steve hates to say get rid of Konerko because of 2005 but he hasn't been playing well this year. Thome hasn't really been doing much this year either though. |
| 7:33
| Caller Bill is a corporate investigator, what's his nickname? How about Billy the Rat? Bill thinks that Anderson could go to the Reds in this deal so Griffey could play center. |
| 7:34
| Bill wouldn't be surprised if Griffey plays in right occasionally if they want to give Dye a day off. |
| 7:35
| Billy agrees with Steve, it's time to move on from Paul Konerko. 2004 was great but could Paulie hit into any more double plays? And he doesn't even get mad about it |
| 7:36
| Caller Tony already had the nickname Tony the Bookie on Kevin Matthews' show. That doesn't count though, his show was like an Etch-a-Sketch, we turned it upside down and shook it. Tony sells screws, nuts and fasteners, how about Tony the Screw? |
| 7:37
| Someone sent Steve an email yesterday about a Kevin Matthews estate sale. He's not dead as far as Steve knows. He's going to find this email but meanwhile Tony can finish his thought. |
| 7:38
| Tony wants to see Swisher at first and Anderson in center, it's time to move on from Paul Konerko. Steve doesn't want to say that because of 2004 but he agrees. |
| 7:39
| Tony is saying stay away from Griffey though. Steve thinks it's already happening. The Sox should trade Konerko, some team will take him. Maybe he's part of the Griffey deal? |
| 7:40
| Alright let's say hi to Pat, the guy who lives in Steve's basement. Pat Dahl writes for Rotoworld, the fantasy sports website. Pat was once at Steve's house for two weeks, sitting around in his underpants on the computer all day managing his fantasy sports teams. Steve told Pat he should figure out a way to make money off that and God bless him he did. |
| 7:41
| Right now Ken Rosenthal is the only person reporting this deal. Kenny Williams has been going after Griffey for a long time, not to date but to acquire. Griffey's defense in center has been getting worse over the years so they'll probably DH him. |
| 7:42
| They could put him at first but a lot of this depends on who the Sox send to Cincy. Is it Konerko then? Does anyone even want him? Maybe they could just send Konerko that that special farm that's really a glue factory. |
| 7:43
| Griffey is also a significant injury risk. He's not having that much better of a season than Konerko is. In the last month Griffey has hit better though. So then it's goodbye to Thome and Konerko? |
| 7:44
| Can Pat keep track of this because Pat Boyle is still sleeping. Oh wait, he's just gotten up now. He's going to have some steel cut oatmeal and get back to us. |
| 7:45
| What's Pat doing up so early? He just drove wifey to the train. Will he be looking for a house after that? Steve thinks the house hunt should be a daily thing. |
| 7:46
| Steve's house is so nice right now and Pat hasn't found anything comparable in their price range. Buzz is welcome to come over to the basement, Pat has a kitchenette down there with a private entrance. They never use the private entrance, Steve might board up the doorway to the upstairs from the basement. |
| 7:47
| Well when Pat knows something more conclusive he should call in. Steve could never do sports radio because it's like this. Nothing has been confirmed so Steve won't believe it until he gets his Twitter from the Sun-Times. |
| 7:48
| Well we'll talk to Pat Boyle after the break and we've still got the web poll to do. The Sox won last night so they're now a game and a half up on the Twins. The Cubs won too so they're now 4 games up on Milwaukee and St. Louis. |
| 7:55
| Live read: PAC Perfect |
| 7:56
| Alright we've got Pat Boyle on the phone although we've pretty much covered all stuff. Maybe Pat can tell Steve where he an Mark Schanowski get their Cubs knee pads. |
| 7:57
| Pat admits that sometimes there's more coverage but all things being equal, ratings for Cubs games are usually 3 times higher than Sox games. Now Pat is speaking Steve's language! |
| 7:58
| Ken Rosenthal from Fox Sports and Sports Illustrated are both reporting the Ken Griffey Jr. trade, pending approval. We still don't know who would be involved in the trade. |
| 7:59
| One person Steve's forgetting about is Joe Crede. The Reds are most likely looking to dump salary though so they probably don't want Crede, Konerko or Thome. Now do those Cubs kneepads leave a mark on your legs? They actually leave a cute little cubby bear. |
| 8:00
| Griffey could probably play center but most likely he'll be in center, DH and maybe even right while Dye is at DH. |
| 8:01
| Pat says this with his Cubs kneepads on but he's surprised the Cubs didn't get Griffey, they could really use him in case Edmonds goes down. Maybe Pat can go with that story tonight, right before the 20 minute interview with Henry Blanco. |
| 8:02
| It's unbelievable how much Comcast covers the Cubs. Then they show one frame of the White Sox. Steve will admit that the Cubs games have been more exciting this week. Watching games in the Metrodome is brutal. |
| 8:03
| Steve doesn't mind Pat so much, Mark Schanowsky's really the guilty one. He can't contain his excitement every time he starts the sports. Then you've got Dan Plesac waving a broom around. |
| 8:04
| Steve knows the Cubs are more popular but can't they even it out a bit? Maybe they could have the Sox in a PIP box. |
| 8:05
| With the sale of the Cubs they'll probably get their own network and the Cubby Chubby will go away. You'll probably see a network for the Sox and Blackhawks. Steve needs his Bill Melton everyday! |
| 8:06
| Maybe Kenny Williams wants Griffey so bad because they sort of look alike. It's like the Patty Duke Show. |
| 8:07
| Does Pat want to do the rest of his sports now? The Sox managed to not drop out of first place with a win last night. That's a very negative way to put that. How about "The Sox strengthened their lead..." He's got his kneepads on underneath his pajamas! |
| 8:08
| Standby Pat, it's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. It's Thursday and Steve's Taco Pal today is Melissa. She doesn't sound too excited to be Steve's Taco Pal though. She just woke up. |
| 8:09
| For lunch Melissa is having a Spicy Chicken Taco, some rice and a Dr. Pepper. So what time is Steve meeting Melissa at the Arlington Heights Taco Bell? Where is it? |
| 8:10
| Melissa doesn't know where it is, her mom drives her. Melissa is only 13. Brendan! Steve can't have an underage Taco Pal! He's gonna be the next R. Kelly! Melissa listens to the show everyday though, God bless you young lady. |
| 8:11
| Melissa sounds very mature for a 13-year-old. Buzz, we don't analyze the 13-year-olds! |
| 8:12
| OK, now back to Pat Boyle already in progress. The Sox won 8-3 last night and the final game of the series is tonight on Comcast at 7. So that means the Sox might actually get pre and post-game? |
| 8:13
| Even still there will probably be 20 minutes of Cubs coverage during the Sox pre-game. Steve's going to sit there with a stopwatch clicking it on and off. |
| 8:14
| How about that sign Manny Ramirez had during the Red Sox game yesterday? It said "Trade me for Brett Favre straight up!" That guy is nuts. |
| 8:15
| He could be traded to Florida today where he'll make $2 million less than the Marlins payroll of $22 million. That'll teach Manny a lesson though, going to Florida. |
| 8:16
| So we'll see what happens with that, the trade deadline ends at 3 pm central time today. |
| 8:17
| There's also a report out of Green Bay that the Packers want to pay Brett Favre to never play football again. What's the point of that? They really approached this situation the wrong way. They should have welcomed Favre back, Aaron Rogers is not a proven QB. |
| 8:18
| Steve wants to move on to the Cubs so he's not accused of anything. Pat was going to lead with the Sox today anyway, regardless of the Ken Griffey trade. |
| 8:19
| The Cubs took an early lead on a play that should have never happened. With two outs and a man on third Reed Johnson struck out. The ball got past Jason Kendall, Reed Johnson was safe at first and Soriano scored. Then Mark DeRosa hit an RBI single. |
| 8:20
| Soriano has been something else since coming off the DL. Buzz is wondering how easy it is to break a bat over your knee. Zambrano does it all the time. The bats are being made of a softer wood so they're eating to break. |
| 8:21
| We're transitioning into bat talk without Hawk and DJ here. Every time a bat break Hawk says "That's a Mattabatacola" what the hell does that mean? Matt is a guy on The Score, it's just a Hawkism. Why can't he call it a Steve Dahl? |
| 8:22
| Would Buzz be able to break a bat over his knee? You want to do that about 2/3rd of the way down the barrel. We don't need Buzz coming in hobbled tomorrow because he tried to break it at the thick part of the bat. |
| 8:23
| Notice that 2 of the 3 cuts that Pat has today are Cubs highlights. The Cubs will go for the sweep this afternoon with Rich Harden taking the mound. |
| 8:24
| The Cubs could try to add another player as an insurance policy for Jim Edmonds. Griffey would be a guy that the Cubs might have looked at but he's rumored to be going to the Sox. |
| 8:25
| Fox and SI are now reporting the trade, pending Griffey's approval. Kenny Williams has made overtures about acquiring Griffey in the past, because they look alike. |
| 8:26
| Steve just hopes they don't move Brian Anderson because he likes him. What about Joe Crede? The Sox probably won't resign him next year and they could get by with Josh Fields at third. |
| 8:27
| Steve has a question about Fields. He's on the God Squad right? Steve believes in God but he doesn't think God and baseball go together. Didn't Josh Fields say at one point that he disagrees with the things that players do in the clubhouse and on the road? What's the point of being in baseball then?! |
| 8:28
| Finally Pat has a bit of a scoop for Steve but he can't say much. He has inside information that a Hall of Famer will be joining the Blackhawks in the next week. Not as a player, he'll be an advisor. Pat can't say who it is. Is it Gretzky? Why can't he say? |
| 8:35
| That's Dan Plesac, the Quirky Left-hander, scaring Gayle Fischer on Comcast last night. Steve's a Quirky Left-hander! Buzz is too right? Buzz isn't a lefty, he just wears his watch on the wrong hand. That's because he heart lefties are more creative right? |
| 8:36
| Steve's been trying to get to the web poll, we've got news coming up and we've also been talking about this Ken Griffey thing. There still aren't many details but one rumor Steve is hearing is that the Sox would trade Nick Swisher back to the A's for closer Huston Street. He never pitches with his foot on the rubber but Steve could teach him. |
| 8:37
| It's frustrating to not have more details but Steve would like to read this thing from Steve Rosenbloom's Rosenblog, it's pretty insightful. Rosenbloom says this was a good deal in 2003 but now Griffey is 38. |
| 8:38
| Rosenbloom agrees that Griffey is an upgrade over Konerko but anyone would be. Griffey's numbers aren't that much of an upgrade over Konerko's. |
| 8:39
| The Sox defense has been getting worse and putting Griffey in center does not make things better. Griffey has played right in the past few years because of all his injuries in center. |
| 8:40
| Griffey's numbers aren't much better than Thome's if they're planning to DH him. The other possibility is that the Sox will turn around and deal Griffey for pitching. That's all part of it, it's really exciting. |
| 8:41
| Steve needs to have himself a Crosstown World Series. The Sox winning in 2005 was like snorting heroin, a Crosstown World Series would be like a speedball. People would die! |
| 8:42
| Caller Mike lives in Manhattan. Let's call him Clam Chowder Mike. That's Manhattan, Illinois though. Mike needs a nickname if we're going to do sports talk. In high school he was called Wheels, that works. |
| 8:43
| Mike thinks that Scotty Bowman is the hall of famer who's coming to the Hawks. That makes sense since his son works for the Hawks already. Steve's good with that, how many Stanley Cups has Scotty won? |
| 8:44
| Someone call Pat Boyle and tell him that we figured out his "scoop". Steve wants to hear Pat get all nervous. He's probably wearing his Cubs kneepad and his Blackhawks choke collar. |
| 8:51
| Alright we've got Pat Boyle back on the phone as well as Pat Dahl. Pat Boyle will not confirm that it's Scotty Bowman. He would be a good person to have though, he knows how to win Stanley Cups. |
| 8:52
| Pat was going on a run with Ronnie Woo Woo but Pat Dahl is going to run some baseball stuff by him. He works for Rotoworld so he knows baseball, football, hockey and basketball. Pat should work up in the booth with Hawk and DJ as their stat guy |
| 8:53
| The consensus on the wire, as Pat said, is that there are other deals in the works in addition to Griffey. Pat Dahl found a rumor that the Sox were going to trade Orlando Cabrera for pitching. They might be able to send Swisher and Cabrera for Oakland pitchers Justin Duchsherer and Huston Street. |
| 8:54
| Peanut Butter doesn't want to see Swisher leave, he should probably be playing first base. Steve's all in favor of getting rid of Konerko, let's clean house. |
| 8:55
| This whole thing is very complicated to Steve, can't they just simplify it? Steve doesn't want the Sox to move Cabrera even though he's a free agent next year. |
| 8:56
| Another thing to consider with Griffey is that he won't come to the Sox if he's not guaranteed significant playing time. He doesn't want to come here to be a bench player. |
| 8:57
| Alright Ed Farmer is on the phone now. How does that affect Ed? If it's a straight trade where Griffey stays here how does it affect the team? Or does Ed think they'll send Griffey somewhere else. |
| 8:58
| Ed thinks they'll keep Griffey and make a deal for someone else, maybe some help in the bullpen. No one knows when Scott Linebrink will be back at 100% |
| 8:59
| There might be another trade behind the Griffey trade but Ed has nothing to back that up. It does seem like Kenny Williams has too many of certain pieces. |
| 9:00
| Griffey still has to approve this deal though. The Sox probably aren't getting Manny Ramirez though. How exactly did the Red Sox disrespect him with $20 million? Ed has seen Manny do some things on the field that made him shake his head. |
| 9:01
| That was a nice whoopin' the Sox put on the Twins last night. Ed always enjoys that more in Minneapolis. Everyone checked out of that game early so it was easier for Ed to get a cab after the game. |
| 9:02
| The Sox have their final game against the Twins tonight and then they head to KC tomorrow. Usually on getaway day you play an afternoon game but maybe the Twins are trying to tire out their divisional rival. |
| 9:03
| Well Steve doesn't know what else to say about the Griffey situation, it seems like there's nothing else left. Thanks to Ed and the Pats for their information. |
| 9:04
| News with Buzz |
| 9:05
| President Bush gave an upbeat assessment of the situation in Iraq. He also pointed to decreased tours of duty for soldiers. But they can still call you back after you've left right? That has to be a drag. |
| 9:06
| Hillary Clinton will be a prominently featured guest at the upcoming Democratic National Convention. However some are taking that to mean Hillary won't be Obama's running mate. |
| 9:07
| Barack Obama's campaign is accusing John McCain's campaign of using scare tactics to to sway voters. A new McCain ad compares Obama to celebrities like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. |
| 9:08
| Steve likes Obama and McCain but lately it seems like McCain's campaign is not really representative of what he's about. It seems like the Republicans took over McCain's campaign and he's not comfortable with it. |
| 9:09
| The Republicans don't seem to know how to take on Obama, he's got a cultural tidal wave, how do you approach that? |
| 9:10
| It just seems like McCain isn't comfortable with his own campaign. That's what happens with these crazy Conservatives. Steve wasn't going to say "Crazy" but Buzz did. Let's be honest, Buzz is a crazy Conservative. |
| 9:11
| Barney Frank says an adult's personal use of marijuana is his or her own business. That's why he's introduced a measure to do away with federal penalties for marijuana possession up to 100 ounces. Barney Frank sounds just like Kup. |
| 9:12
| A black bear that had been wondering around Northern Minnesota with a plastic jar stuck on it's head has been shot to death. That's not how it ends in Winnie the Pooh. Attempts to tranquilize the bear did not work. Does a plastic jar on your head counteract the effects of tranquilizer. |
| 9:13
| A Will County judge has not dropped weapons charges against Drew Peterson. Prosecutors claimed they retrieved an illegal assault rifle from Drew's home shortly after Stacy Peterson disappeared. |
| 9:14
| Peterson's lawyer Joel Brodsky says the law doesn't apply to Drew because he used the gun while he was a police officer. |
| 9:15
| A new survey shows that Chicago is rated number 3 for those hooked on email. People are emailing from the bathroom and from church. |
| 9:16
| Part of George Carlin will remain in New Hampshire. HIs family decided to scatter his ashes at important places in his life. Carlin attended camp in Spofford, New Hampshire where he first got on stage as a 10-year-old. He won a necklace for his performance which he was wearing when he died. |
| 9:17
| Steve met George Carlin once. Buzz was going to say he had met Carlin too but it was actually John Byner and there's a difference. There's a big difference. Was John Byner on Family Feud? |
| 9:18
| When Steve worked at KPPC in LA George Carlin would sometimes come in with an ounce of cocaine in a bag. It didn't surprise Steve when Carlin had problems with the ticker. |
| 9:19
| Carlin was a legendary producer. He made the other guys at the station look like pikers. Buzz has heard stories of Carlin being on SNL and getting so high that he wouldn't even come out of his dressing room. |
| 9:20
| Carlin would sit in a director's chair with this big bag of blow playing records and saying crazy things. Steve would do all the work and go get them what they needed. That's how Steve got started. Carlin seemed like a cool guy and he was really funny, beyond his riffs on jumbo shrimp. |
| 9:21
| Buzz remembers that addiction is the subject of Steve's Vice Column today in the Trib. It's about addiction to gasoline. Steve's hoping to stay on with the Trib even though they're making a lot of changes. |
| 9:22
| Steve couldn't remember what he called his first car, the pick-up truck, but in the article he said Betty. He wrote it on Saturday, coming off Buzz's stellar performance of Betty in the Townstone Financial live read. |
| 9:23
| If Buzz doesn't win a Marconi for that performance there's something wrong. David bought Steve and Buzz little Oscars for their performances, Buzz would like to take that home if it's still around. |
| 9:30
| Is that drop an ad with McCain and Britney or are people just sending out those tapes? Pete has only seen those tapes being sent out. Steve thinks it would make a good ad. |
| 9:31
| Obama probably doesn't want to go negative but it seems like a good ad, it seems like McCain is more like Britney than Obama. Steve's not in favor of either candidate, he's just speaking from a marketing standpoint. |
| 9:32
| What happened to the days when people didn't say who they voted for? People just said it was between them and the polling booth. |
| 9:33
| Buzz remembers when he was in grade school Eisenhower was running agasinst...was it Stevenson? Anyway Eisenhower won and a few days later this kid came in wearing an "I Like Ike" button. Everyone turned on him but he didn't even know he was coming from a Republican household. |
| 9:34
| Alright time for the web poll. Yesterday's question was "Who started the trucker hat trend?" 62% of the people said Ashton Kutcher. Steve still thinks it was Pat Dahl. |
| 9:35
| Today's question is "Do you play with Barbie dolls?" Should it be "Did you play...?" What guy will admit he played with Barbie does? |
| 9:36
| Ken is ready for a makeover and ready for the new Barbie. See Steve thinks Ken is gay. Buzz has all of these dolls as his house but he tells Piper to keep them away from him. |
| 9:37
| This is from TradingMarkets.com, it's time for their every-couple-of-years update on the life and times of everyone's favorite overachieving slut puppy. Slut puppy? Can they say that? Can't Barbie sue them? |
| 9:38
| Barbie had dumped Ken the last time they checked in with her. She started dating Blaine, a surfer with a blank stare and killer abs. Blaine looked liked the kind of guy who'd be passed out from smoking his third bowl by noon. |
| 9:39
| Ken has gotten a makeover that included facial resculpting to make him look a little less like the Nutcracker Prince and more like Russell Crowe. Buzz doesn't find Crowe to be handsome, his face is too pudgy. What must Buzz think of Steve then? |
| 9:40
| Ken should be fair warned though, the newest Barbie incarnation is the DC Comics inspired "Black Canary Barbie". She wears a shiny black PVC jacket, fishnets and high-heeled black boots. That can't be true right? Steve's being told it's true. |
| 9:41
| It's OK though because in the comic books Black Canary is known to pal around with Firestar and superhero who's breasts actually get bigger when her superpowers are engaged. The writer of this blog, Celia Rivenbank, wants that power. Steve can't read this, it's going to be taken out of context. Tomorrow in Feder's column it'll say that Steve wants breasts that get bigger when he does something good. |
| 9:42
| Caller Jim was calling about the Barbie wearing fishnets. There was a picture in the Sun-Times of the new Barbie and she looks phenomenal. That's not what Steve has no, he has a smart-ass girl's take on it. |
| 9:43
| Steve should have gotten the regular article and then given a smart-ass take on it. He's officially done with these thing though. Let's pretend that never happened and we're just coming off of talking about the Ken Griffey Jr. trade. |
| 9:51
| Caller Hans collects KISS dolls, is that the same as Barbie dolls? He Hans, the 70s called, the way their KISS dolls back. Hans thinks this new Barbie with the fishnets should be called Street Walkin' Barbie. Steve doesn't really want to get into doll humor, even though his last name is Dahl. |
| 9:52
| That seems like an unfortunate doll to give to your daughter though. Does Hans let his daughter play with his KISS dolls? Do she dress up as KISS for Halloween? |
| 9:53
| Steve doesn't know how to rule on any of this doll stuff. He grew up with a brother and he has 3 sons. At one point there were some Cabbage Patch Kids at the house but that might have been to teach the boys about ethnicity or something. |
| 9:54
| Steve does remember having to go buy a Cabbage Patch Kid, he had to fight a bunch of other women to get one. He could only get a black doll so maybe he decided to make it a lesson about racial tolerance. It was beautiful. Steve was hungover to the bejesus belt buying the Cabbage Patch Kid. Where he was living the black dolls weren't moving. |
| 9:55
| A few days later Janet had to go back and get a different doll. Maybe not though, Steve doesn't remember. The boys probably don't need Steve talking about this either. |
| 9:56
| Steve didn't have dolls growing up as a kid. Action figures are very big now for adults. Jimmy Mac, former WCKG employee, has a collection of Star Wars toys. Adults try to pass them off as investments, like Steve Carrel in 40 Year Old Virgin. |
| 9:57
| A lot of radio support people are into action figures. There was also that Skynyrd guy who collected action figures. Steve doesn't collect anything. For a time Buzz collected neon signs. Steve has a few of those but he doesn't put them up. He doesn't need a bright sign reminding him to drink. |
| 9:58
| Buzz has tried various collections over the years like stamps or cigar wrappers. He had to stop smoking cigars but there was a time when he had a book that he put the wrappers in. Then he would make a notation about where he smoked the cigar and how it was. Does Buzz know we're still on the air? |
| 9:59
| There are actual books you can buy for your cigar wrappers which was given to Buzz. It was about as exciting as his stamp collecting. Steve must have collected something. Buzz has his amp collection but he actually uses those. |
| 10:00
| There was a time when Steve got hooked into The Simpsons Christmas village. They send off new pieces whenever they want and it's impossible to get them to stop. The same thing happened with the Bears Christmas village and train. |
| 10:01
| A person that used to be in Steve's employ told him that they knew someone at the Franklin Mint but they didn't. Then the whole thing went awry and Steve started getting Green Bay Packers stuff. Eventually he had to cancel the credit card that they were charging the trains on. |
| 10:02
| The whole thing was a mess because Steve ordered 4 sets of the trains. He wanted one for each of the boys which now seems like overkill. Are they going to go to 4 different houses on Christmas? Maybe Steve was using the trains as an incentive to get the boys to move out of the house. |